Thank you for the support!
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Extra chapters: ko-fi 16
_______________________________________
Saeki showed his true Nature, well it wasn’t Saeki to begin with but still. A minotaur, slimes, zombies, and now a dragon. Since I’ve been here it’s been trying to traumatize me, first it was Shirakawa trying to tempt me with the words I never said. Although I wasn’t fooled by her, her true personality was too different, she would never have said that.
Why? Because I didn’t know it then but Shirakawa was known to sleep around. Apparently if she liked a guy it didn’t take long for her to open her legs for them and then move on.
The next one was Saeki, he would never have shown any actual interest in me. All he ever did was look down on me and that’s all he would have done. However he did manage to shake my heart a little by asking the same question I asked myself before. ‘Why everyone?’
“So a dragons next after Saeki? Hey what are you? Are you part of the dungeon?”
“Find the truth yourself.”
This most likely isn’t actually a dragon either, unless Saeki was secretly a dragon this whole time. Although I doubt that quite strongly.
The dragons mouth began to flicker and I saw the shadow of a flame coming.
“Masamune, it’s breath attack is coming! ”
I stepped forward to protect them, I went to cast 《Erosion wave》 when ichijo who was missing his right arm passed through my mind. I can’t use that.
“《Binding》!”
I switched tactics and a parade of white arms grabbed the dragon pushing its jaw up blocking the flame.
“Gumu!”
A small explosion was heard inside the dragons mouth and black smoke fluttered out through its teeth.
“You’re doubting it aren’t you? The abyss.”
It doesn’t look like the dragon had taken any damage.
“《Phantom Pain》”
“Abyss without a will won’t work on my you know.”
The dragons expression didn’t change at all.
“《Will o’ whisp》!”
Nem shot her magic again, but like it did with Saeki it just dinked off the dragon and disappeared.
“Ooh? That magic was pretty good, unlike some coward I know.”
“Nem, get back. This guy’s on an entirely different level.”
“Ok!”
I blocked Nems advance with my hand.
“Nem, I have to do this alone.”
“The coward won’t have any effect on me, Do not doubt the abyss!”
“Don’t tell me what to do! 《Unreasonable robbery》”
“Useless.”
I tried to end this quickly by stealing its head but as the dragon said nothing happened. I stood there confused and was late reacting the right arm it swung out.
“Don’t make that face like you’re asking ‘why’.”
“Guha!”
I was thrown back, parts of my body torn open by the dragons claws sending blood spraying into the air.
“Masamune!”
“Master!”
“Lord Nito!”
I heard three voices call out.
It’s been a while since I’ve been hurt, normally if you get cut blood comes out and there’s pain, I’d forgotten.
“《Healing wave》”
I healed the wound. It’s a good thing I was a healer, otherwise I would have died.
“Healing magic huh? How convenient. But do you remember how you felt when you got it? Why me, why am I the only healer, why wasn’t I a sage or a knight? And then you’re thankful when you use it.”
“Shut up.”
I should have been healed but I still felt weak and yet again the dragon shakes my heart.
“《Effect heal》what do you know.”
The weak feeling won’t go away, why?
“Because you doubt.”
It wasn’t mind reading, the dragon was replying to the voice inside my heart.
“From the moment it merges with someone all of that person’s magic is the abyss. But the abyss will not work without a will. Whyー”
“Because that’s who I am. That’s why you keep saying doubt right? I’ve heard that!”
I pulled a white staff out from storage.
“How’s this then.”
I applied mischief inversion on the staff to bring about bell.
“Bell, hit him with ‘that’.”
“Did you not hear me when I said it was useless?”
The dragon was still looking down at me.
……….
“Bell?”
I saw the carving at the time of the wand but it didn’t react. Normally he would open his eyes and talk to me.
The dragon used its claws to attack again but I reacted quickly and dodged them.
“Whats that stick?”
Strange, there was no response from Bell.
“Stop. ”
I had no choice but to put Bell back into storage. The dragon was already attacking again and I didn’t have the time to wait around for him. He wasn’t responding no matter how much I shook him.
I tried to hit the claws away from me this time, if magic wasn’t going to work then a physical attack would. But…
“Guwaaa!”
“Useless.”
The claws didn’t touch me but I was still blown away.
“Kuh 《Healing Aura》”
I healed the moment I landed but, was it in my head or was the effect diminishing?
“Master?”
Nem called out in a worried voice.
“What are you going to protect? Look at you, how can you protect someone else if you can’t protect yourself.”
“You know the answer to that without having to ask don’t you?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re reading my heart, you know the answer don’t you? Why I can’t use it.”
“Yeah, I know. You took off that normie Ichijos arm and now it’s gone forever. But what about it? You remembered didn’t you? What are you scared of?”
“I’m not scared, it’s just a fact. It’s not that I doubt myself.”
“Useless… there are no excuses in the abyss. You’re looking away from it but you know why it took Ichijo’s arm. It’s because you doubted it, you doubted the abyss.”
“I’m not doubting! I don’t understand! That time I used magic like normal but it attacked Ichijo! ”
“Right, so isn’t that your answer then.”
“What?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t you get it? I’m saying that was your will.”
“My will, was to harm Ichijo?”
“I’ll put it a little more simply. You wanted to kill him.”
What is this thing saying? I wanted to kill Ichijo?
“You don’t want friendship. You know there is no such thing in this world. Your trust of Ichijo was just a hesitation. You just accepted what ever words suited you.”
“No, he ..”
“Isnt this how you really think? Don’t you actually hate the idea of friends? ”
Yeah, there are no friends.
“Even now, you’re being effected by another’s words. By my words. Stop doing that.”
I know….I know. Even if I decide on something I don’t have enough will to go through with it. It’s annoying.
“The king does not work for those who doubt themselves. The vessel is easily shattered.”
The dragons words sound like a code, but I don’t understand.
“Don’t you get it Masamune? No, Nito.”
“Is the pseudonym a problem?”
“No, it’s exactly like you. Half hearted and sloppy.”
“Then what, Ichijo?”
The dragon sighed to itself.
“Let me teach you something. The abyss responds to the will. But it also responds to the superficial will.”
“But why, that time?”
“It wasn’t Ichijo. You had anxiety before that.”
“Hhhh, anxiety?”
“Its not trivial. Anxiety grows and becomes fear.”
I always have anxiety, there’s always something small I’m anxious about.
“Is anxiety doubting myself?”
" "What is anxiety? When did I start feeling anxious?
“Masamune!”
I found myself attacked by the dragon again, pain ran through my body and I felt something warm on my stomach.
“《Healing Aura》”
It was even less effective.
“Masamune!”
“Master!”
“Lord Nito!”
I could see the anxiety on their faces.
Maybe I’m going to die? None of them can save me. Nem, Toa, Sufilia, and it’s not possible for me to save Toa from death. No maybe I wasn’t confident in the first place.
……
Wait,is that what I’m anxious about? That I can’t save Toa? Is that what I’m afraid of?
“Right…. That I might not be able to save her.”
In the future I couldn’t save Toa.
“Yes, you were anxious and you doubted yourself. But thats not the problem.”
“Yeah, I hid it, from myself.”
“Yes, you lied to yourself. That is much worse than doubt. To lie to yourself is to deny yourself, deny your weakness.”
“But I needed to be stronger. Even if it meant throwing away my weaker self.”
“You don’t have to throw it away, that’s part of you. The only thing you have to do is not doubt yourself.”
Doubt….lie… that’s meaningless.
“You should understand. Don’t doubt yourself, believe. The abyss is you, it’s both simple and at the same times very complicated. But, do you dare to think it’s complicated?”
I already know that this dragon is trying to make me aware of something. But what should I do? I’m not doubting, I don’t know. But rather than thinking, first…
“《Erosion wave》 how’s this?”
I used that magic that I had previously refused to use.
Thank you for the support!
patreon ko-fi
Extra chapters: ko-fi 16
_______________________________________
Saeki showed his true Nature, well it wasn’t Saeki to begin with but still. A minotaur, slimes, zombies, and now a dragon. Since I’ve been here it’s been trying to traumatize me, first it was Shirakawa trying to tempt me with the words I never said. Although I wasn’t fooled by her, her true personality was too different, she would never have said that.
Why? Because I didn’t know it then but Shirakawa was known to sleep around. Apparently if she liked a guy it didn’t take long for her to open her legs for them and then move on.
The next one was Saeki, he would never have shown any actual interest in me. All he ever did was look down on me and that’s all he would have done. However he did manage to shake my heart a little by asking the same question I asked myself before. ‘Why everyone?’
“So a dragons next after Saeki? Hey what are you? Are you part of the dungeon?”
“Find the truth yourself.”
This most likely isn’t actually a dragon either, unless Saeki was secretly a dragon this whole time. Although I doubt that quite strongly.
The dragons mouth began to flicker and I saw the shadow of a flame coming.
“Masamune, it’s breath attack is coming! ”
I stepped forward to protect them, I went to cast 《Erosion wave》 when ichijo who was missing his right arm passed through my mind. I can’t use that.
“《Binding》!”
I switched tactics and a parade of white arms grabbed the dragon pushing its jaw up blocking the flame.
“Gumu!”
A small explosion was heard inside the dragons mouth and black smoke fluttered out through its teeth.
“You’re doubting it aren’t you? The abyss.”
It doesn’t look like the dragon had taken any damage.
“《Phantom Pain》”
“Abyss without a will won’t work on my you know.”
The dragons expression didn’t change at all.
“《Will o’ whisp》!”
Nem shot her magic again, but like it did with Saeki it just dinked off the dragon and disappeared.
“Ooh? That magic was pretty good, unlike some coward I know.”
“Nem, get back. This guy’s on an entirely different level.”
“Ok!”
I blocked Nems advance with my hand.
“Nem, I have to do this alone.”
“The coward won’t have any effect on me, Do not doubt the abyss!”
“Don’t tell me what to do! 《Unreasonable robbery》”
“Useless.”
I tried to end this quickly by stealing its head but as the dragon said nothing happened. I stood there confused and was late reacting the right arm it swung out.
“Don’t make that face like you’re asking ‘why’.”
“Guha!”
I was thrown back, parts of my body torn open by the dragons claws sending blood spraying into the air.
“Masamune!”
“Master!”
“Lord Nito!”
I heard three voices call out.
It’s been a while since I’ve been hurt, normally if you get cut blood comes out and there’s pain, I’d forgotten.
“《Healing wave》”
I healed the wound. It’s a good thing I was a healer, otherwise I would have died.
“Healing magic huh? How convenient. But do you remember how you felt when you got it? Why me, why am I the only healer, why wasn’t I a sage or a knight? And then you’re thankful when you use it.”
“Shut up.”
I should have been healed but I still felt weak and yet again the dragon shakes my heart.
“《Effect heal》what do you know.”
The weak feeling won’t go away, why?
“Because you doubt.”
It wasn’t mind reading, the dragon was replying to the voice inside my heart.
“From the moment it merges with someone all of that person’s magic is the abyss. But the abyss will not work without a will. Whyー”
“Because that’s who I am. That’s why you keep saying doubt right? I’ve heard that!”
I pulled a white staff out from storage.
“How’s this then.”
I applied mischief inversion on the staff to bring about bell.
“Bell, hit him with ‘that’.”
“Did you not hear me when I said it was useless?”
The dragon was still looking down at me.
……….
“Bell?”
I saw the carving at the time of the wand but it didn’t react. Normally he would open his eyes and talk to me.
The dragon used its claws to attack again but I reacted quickly and dodged them.
“Whats that stick?”
Strange, there was no response from Bell.
“Stop. ”
I had no choice but to put Bell back into storage. The dragon was already attacking again and I didn’t have the time to wait around for him. He wasn’t responding no matter how much I shook him.
I tried to hit the claws away from me this time, if magic wasn’t going to work then a physical attack would. But…
“Guwaaa!”
“Useless.”
The claws didn’t touch me but I was still blown away.
“Kuh 《Healing Aura》”
I healed the moment I landed but, was it in my head or was the effect diminishing?
“Master?”
Nem called out in a worried voice.
“What are you going to protect? Look at you, how can you protect someone else if you can’t protect yourself.”
“You know the answer to that without having to ask don’t you?”
“Hmm?”
“You’re reading my heart, you know the answer don’t you? Why I can’t use it.”
“Yeah, I know. You took off that normie Ichijos arm and now it’s gone forever. But what about it? You remembered didn’t you? What are you scared of?”
“I’m not scared, it’s just a fact. It’s not that I doubt myself.”
“Useless… there are no excuses in the abyss. You’re looking away from it but you know why it took Ichijo’s arm. It’s because you doubted it, you doubted the abyss.”
“I’m not doubting! I don’t understand! That time I used magic like normal but it attacked Ichijo! ”
“Right, so isn’t that your answer then.”
“What?”
“Huh?”
“Don’t you get it? I’m saying that was your will.”
“My will, was to harm Ichijo?”
“I’ll put it a little more simply. You wanted to kill him.”
What is this thing saying? I wanted to kill Ichijo?
“You don’t want friendship. You know there is no such thing in this world. Your trust of Ichijo was just a hesitation. You just accepted what ever words suited you.”
“No, he ..”
“Isnt this how you really think? Don’t you actually hate the idea of friends? ”
Yeah, there are no friends.
“Even now, you’re being effected by another’s words. By my words. Stop doing that.”
I know….I know. Even if I decide on something I don’t have enough will to go through with it. It’s annoying.
“The king does not work for those who doubt themselves. The vessel is easily shattered.”
The dragons words sound like a code, but I don’t understand.
“Don’t you get it Masamune? No, Nito.”
“Is the pseudonym a problem?”
“No, it’s exactly like you. Half hearted and sloppy.”
“Then what, Ichijo?”
The dragon sighed to itself.
“Let me teach you something. The abyss responds to the will. But it also responds to the superficial will.”
“But why, that time?”
“It wasn’t Ichijo. You had anxiety before that.”
“Hhhh, anxiety?”
“Its not trivial. Anxiety grows and becomes fear.”
I always have anxiety, there’s always something small I’m anxious about.
“Is anxiety doubting myself?”
" "What is anxiety? When did I start feeling anxious?
“Masamune!”
I found myself attacked by the dragon again, pain ran through my body and I felt something warm on my stomach.
“《Healing Aura》”
It was even less effective.
“Masamune!”
“Master!”
“Lord Nito!”
I could see the anxiety on their faces.
Maybe I’m going to die? None of them can save me. Nem, Toa, Sufilia, and it’s not possible for me to save Toa from death. No maybe I wasn’t confident in the first place.
……
Wait,is that what I’m anxious about? That I can’t save Toa? Is that what I’m afraid of?
“Right…. That I might not be able to save her.”
In the future I couldn’t save Toa.
“Yes, you were anxious and you doubted yourself. But thats not the problem.”
“Yeah, I hid it, from myself.”
“Yes, you lied to yourself. That is much worse than doubt. To lie to yourself is to deny yourself, deny your weakness.”
“But I needed to be stronger. Even if it meant throwing away my weaker self.”
“You don’t have to throw it away, that’s part of you. The only thing you have to do is not doubt yourself.”
Doubt….lie… that’s meaningless.
“You should understand. Don’t doubt yourself, believe. The abyss is you, it’s both simple and at the same times very complicated. But, do you dare to think it’s complicated?”
I already know that this dragon is trying to make me aware of something. But what should I do? I’m not doubting, I don’t know. But rather than thinking, first…
“《Erosion wave》 how’s this?”
I used that magic that I had previously refused to use.
