"Keep your guard up just in case," Kreff reminded the rest of us. "I'm sure he'll make another appearance sooner or later."
Leah scoffed, "If he does Amethyst will take care of him. You remember what she told him last time?"
I cringed and blushed, not that any of them could see that. I also mumbled, "I just hope he leaves us alone. I still feel bad about losing my temper last time."
"Anyways let's just get back into the town so we can complete the quest," I added.
Kreff and Leah both agreed with that. Raven stayed out of that whole conversation, but most of the evening she'd been acting normally around me again. It was refreshing, having her tease and flirt and act like the friend she'd been since last summer.
Leah was still a bit different around me, like she wouldn't call me Amy anymore. And she was still convinced I could handle anything, even though I made it clear that within the game I was the same cleric character I'd been since the start.
Best of all, Kreff was talking to me again. They were still a bit hesitant now and then, but it felt like our party was getting back to normal in terms of our friendship and cameraderie, which made me happy.
We didn't run into any trouble as we finished the trek back to the safe zone. Once we completed the quest there were a few more level-ups and the four of us chatted while we checked our stats and assigned the new skill points and things.
"Hey Kreff," I said as we were starting to wrap things up. "I just wanted to remind you my earlier offer is still open. If there's anything I can do for you, just ask ok?"
Leah jumped in, "Do it Kreff! It's amazing! I grew another centimetre this week! It really is a miracle, and I know Amethyst can do a miracle for you too!"
That made me grimace again. She'd been going on about what I did for her every chance she got. And while I was happy that she was happy, it still made me feel a bit awkward.
"No pressure," I added. "If you just want to talk, I'd be happy to pop over there. I'd love to meet you."
Our tank chimed in again, "Go for it Kreff! It's amazing, just to see it happen? She really can teleport, and she summons her staff just like in the game and everything!"
The non-binary archer was quiet for a few moments, and I started to worry that between my calm offer and Leah's enthusiastic encouragement we were just going to scare them off again.
"All right," they finally replied. "Just to talk, just so I can see this magic Leah's been raving about."
I smiled, "Thanks Kreff. As soon as we all log off from the game I'll pay you a visit ok? Are you alone there, nobody else will see me arrive right?"
"It's just me, there's no-one else here," they confirmed.
I focused on Kreff, and like I did for Leah a couple weeks earlier I sent a tiny bit of magic through the computer, across the internet, and found them. I got enough of a feel for them I could locate them again after we all logged off.
Finally I bid Leah and Raven a good night, and told Kreff "I'll be there in a half minute."
Once we all logged out I glanced around our apartment, which was was dark and quiet. Tess and Jodie came in around eight, but I was pretty sure Jodie left for the hotel by ten. Now it seemed like my girlfriend was already in bed, so she wouldn't miss me stepping out for a little while.
I turned off my computer then got to my feet and concentrated on Kreff. A moment later I was in their apartment, and I took a couple of seconds to look around at my new surroundings.
It actually reminded me of Raven's place. From what I could see it was a one-bedroom unit, but not tiny or cramped. I was standing in the middle of a good-sized living-room, with a big-screen TV on the wall to my right and a large comfy-looking sofa on my left. In front of me was a desk with a decent-looking gaming computer set-up. And in front of that, sitting on a gaming chair was Kreff.
They'd already swivelled the chair around so they saw me arrive, and they were currently staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed at me.
Just like when I visited Leah, I found myself comparing the person I saw to what I'd imagined based on their voice. And like with Leah, I felt like what I'd pictured wasn't far off.
Kreff's voice had been changing lately but originally I pictured a middle-aged AMAB accountant type, and that's sort of what I saw now. I'd guess someone in their forties, dark hair with a few grey streaks in a short professional trim. Clean-shaved, but with a five o'clock shadow. Their complexion was fair, in a way that made me think they didn't get out in the sun very much. And even seated, I could tell they were tall. Probably as tall as I used to be, maybe even my dad's height.
Their body had a lot of typical AMAB traits, but something about their face caught my eye. I wasn't as knowledgable about some of this stuff as Tess was, but I had a feeling Kreff had started hormone therapy. I was already pretty sure they'd been doing voice training, so it fit that they'd also be on HRT.
They were dressed very casual, in just a t-shirt and shorts. Not that I was wearing anything fancy, all I had on was a nightshirt.
I finally broke the awkward silence as I greeted them, "Hi Kreff. I'm Amy."
They responded tenatively, "Hi..."
They continued to stare, and I started to worry that my presence was scaring them or upsetting them.
After another couple seconds I grimaced, "Sorry if I'm making you nervous. Uh, I can go if you want? Or do you want me to do the thing with my staff first?"
My friend hesitated, and I got the impression they wanted to say something. Maybe they wanted to ask me for something but they were anxious or scared. Then it occured to me that they might not actually know what they wanted.
After another couple seconds I offered, "Or we could just talk?"
"Ok," they nodded. "I think I'd like that."
They got a couple cans of soda out of the fridge then we sat at opposite ends of the sofa. After a few sips of their drink Kreff finally spoke up.
"I'm not out as non-binary," they admitted. "My friends, family, people at work, they just know me as a guy. Publicly I still go by my legal name and use he/him pronouns. Part of the problem is I'm really not sure that isn't who I am? I've been using games like the one we play together to try and explore that?"
I grimaced, "I did that too, I think? I didn't know I was trans, I just liked playing girl characters. I related more to them, but I came up with all kinds of excuses for why. Anything other than admit it's because I was really a girl myself."
Kreff sighed, "I wish I was as brave as you. To play such a cute character while your voice instantly outed you... I admired that about you back then. And when your voice changed to match your looks, I didn't really buy the voice-changer story. It didn't add up, but I couldn't figure out what was going on. And you were clearly the same person, you acted the same and talked the same even if you sounded different."
That made me blush. I pointed out, "Your voice has been changing lately. And you've been making adjustments to your character's appearance too."
They sighed again but confirmed my suspicions, "I found some online voice lessons, and started doing them in private. The only places I use this voice are online though. And I guess I'm still doing it now with you because you already know me like that? But like I said, I'm not out in public. I talk the other way with everyone else."
I nodded slowly, then finally asked "So do you think you're trans? I mean, working on a femme voice isn't something I think a lot of cis guys would do."
Kreff grimaced, then shrugged. Finally they responded, "I don't know if I'm a girl. I'm pretty sure I'm not a guy, but that's all I'm sure of. I don't like using he/him pronouns, and I don't like my legal name. I don't like what I see in the mirror or the shower. I know what I'm not, but I don't know what I am."
They added with another sigh, "I feel like I can't be trans, because I don't know if I'm a girl? I didn't play with dolls as a kid, I didn't try and get into my mother's clothes or her make-up. Even as an adult I haven't tried cross-dressing, I'm not interested in wearing skirts or dresses. Trans girls I've talked to online say stuff like they knew they were really a girl right from the start? I'm forty-five and I still don't know. So I don't think I'm really trans."
"I'm a trans girl," I pointed out. "And I didn't know I was a girl until after I got magically transformed. And even then I tried to deny it. I agonized about how much I wanted to stay this way while at the same time I was convinced I couldn't. I didn't figure myself out until it was explained to me by a therapist-in-training who happened to know a fair bit about gender issues."
I added, "I'm not saying you're trans or not, just pointing out that not everyone figures themself out immediately. Some folks need time, and maybe they need some help to sort things out."
They stared at the floor with a thoughtful frown, then had another sip of their drink.
"A couple weeks back when me and Raven admitted we both looked like our game characters, you said something like you wished that too?" I reminded them. "Do you still wish for something like that?"
Kreff blushed and stalled by having some more of their soda. They finally sighed and shook their head, "Not really. I don't want to be an elf, and I wouldn't use the name 'Kreff' in real life. Plus..."
They sighed once more, "I'm not sure I'd be satisfied with that look. Like I said, I've been using games to explore and experiment, but I'm not sure what I want. I don't even know for sure that I'm comfortable being non-binary?"
"I guess I picked that because it felt safer than trying to be a girl," they admitted quietly. "I'm not sure it's really me though."
"That's fair and valid," I responded. "Have you tried out other pronouns? You've said being masc doesn't work for you, and from the sound of it you're not sure non-binary is right either. How about femme?"
Their cheeks took on a deeper blush as they admitted, "I'm not sure I could pull it off. Even if...I just don't think I could be girly? Like I said, I don't want to wear dresses or make-up."
I shrugged, "So don't. It's not the nineteenth century anymore, women are allowed to wear pants and have short hair. Tomboys are a thing. I can't imagine Leah going for a fancy princess gown and delicate glass slippers, right? She's a knight in shining armour, swinging a massive shield and huge sword, but she's still a girl."
Kreff smiled, though that turned into another grimace after a few moments. "I'm not sure I'd be comfortable like that either. The Amazon look doesn't feel right for me either."
"Fair enough." I frowned, then offered "Look it's Friday evening right? Do you have anything on this weekend, or are you pretty much free till Monday?"
"I don't have anything on," they replied. "I'll probably spend the weekend online, gaming or hanging out on discord. Why?"
I offered, "Once again no pressure. But the bottom line is I have godlike powers. Most of the time I'm just Amy, but I can also be the Goddess Amethyst. With your permission, I can take a little peak and find out what it is you really want, deep down inside. Even if you're not consciously aware of it, I can find out. And I can make it happen. Then you could spend the weekend trying it out, see how it feels. Like a test-drive, basically? Then I can come back Sunday evening and we can talk about what you want to do next. Change back, keep it, or try something else."
Their eyes went wide and their blush got even brighter. They gulped, then shook their head "I wouldn't want to impose, and I don't want to use up all your mana. And I'm sure you have other things going on, you're still attending college, you have your own life..."
"It's not like the game," I grinned. "I've got power to spare, I wouldn't offer this if I couldn't do it. And I don't have any plans for Sunday night so I can come back here to see you again. So what do you say?"
Kreff hesitated, then stalled again by gulping down the last of their soda. I could tell their heart was racing, they looked equal parts scared and excited. I was pretty sure they wanted to accept, but they were scared to admit it.
"What about..." they started, then stalled again for a moment. "What will I tell everyone? How will I explain things?"
I shrugged, "If we're just doing this for the weekend then nobody else needs to know. But if you want to keep it, then you're going to have to come up with something. I can change your ID and stuff, but I won't mess with people's minds. It'll be up to you to tell friends and family who you are."
There was another pause, then they asked "What if I just disappeared, then started over under a new name?"
I frowned, "That seems a bit extreme, but if that's what you wanted I could probably help with it? It's up to you."
Kreff hesitated again. They closed their eyes and took a few deep breaths, then finally looked at me again and nodded "Ok. For the weekend, then we'll talk on Sunday?"
"I promise I'll be back Sunday," I replied. "So if you're ready, I'll do what I said? Find what it is you really truly want?"
They nodded again, "Yes please. And thank you."
I focused, and it wasn't even hard. They already knew exactly what they wanted, the problem was they were too scared to admit it. They even had another name in mind. The situation reminded me of myself in a lot of ways, like they knew how they wanted to look, what name they wanted to use. But where I dove in and lived that vicariously through all my game characters, they held back out of anxiety and shame.
A moment later their body was engulfed in swirling gold magic, and when it faded their body had changed. No more half measures, no more holding back, I gave them what they really wanted.
They weren't as tall as before, but they hadn't shrunk too much, down to about five-foot-seven. They were slim, with long slender arms and legs. Their hair was silky auburn, it was longer than before but stopped above the shoulders in a cute pixie-cut, and their eyes were bright green. Their skin was fair and smooth and perfect, and they were definitely attractive. And finally their apparent age had dropped, from mid-forties to mid-twenties.
Their features were undeniably femme, including the two mounds on their chest and the lack of any kind of bulge in their shorts.
"There you go," I said with warm smile. "May I address you by the name you really wanted? Is it ok to call you Krissy?"
Krissy nodded slowly as they stood up, then looked down at themself with wide eyes. In an unmistakably femme voice they gasped, "Oh my Goddess it really is a miracle!"
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"Keep your guard up just in case," Kreff reminded the rest of us. "I'm sure he'll make another appearance sooner or later."
Leah scoffed, "If he does Amethyst will take care of him. You remember what she told him last time?"
I cringed and blushed, not that any of them could see that. I also mumbled, "I just hope he leaves us alone. I still feel bad about losing my temper last time."
"Anyways let's just get back into the town so we can complete the quest," I added.
Kreff and Leah both agreed with that. Raven stayed out of that whole conversation, but most of the evening she'd been acting normally around me again. It was refreshing, having her tease and flirt and act like the friend she'd been since last summer.
Leah was still a bit different around me, like she wouldn't call me Amy anymore. And she was still convinced I could handle anything, even though I made it clear that within the game I was the same cleric character I'd been since the start.
Best of all, Kreff was talking to me again. They were still a bit hesitant now and then, but it felt like our party was getting back to normal in terms of our friendship and cameraderie, which made me happy.
We didn't run into any trouble as we finished the trek back to the safe zone. Once we completed the quest there were a few more level-ups and the four of us chatted while we checked our stats and assigned the new skill points and things.
"Hey Kreff," I said as we were starting to wrap things up. "I just wanted to remind you my earlier offer is still open. If there's anything I can do for you, just ask ok?"
Leah jumped in, "Do it Kreff! It's amazing! I grew another centimetre this week! It really is a miracle, and I know Amethyst can do a miracle for you too!"
That made me grimace again. She'd been going on about what I did for her every chance she got. And while I was happy that she was happy, it still made me feel a bit awkward.
"No pressure," I added. "If you just want to talk, I'd be happy to pop over there. I'd love to meet you."
Our tank chimed in again, "Go for it Kreff! It's amazing, just to see it happen? She really can teleport, and she summons her staff just like in the game and everything!"
The non-binary archer was quiet for a few moments, and I started to worry that between my calm offer and Leah's enthusiastic encouragement we were just going to scare them off again.
"All right," they finally replied. "Just to talk, just so I can see this magic Leah's been raving about."
I smiled, "Thanks Kreff. As soon as we all log off from the game I'll pay you a visit ok? Are you alone there, nobody else will see me arrive right?"
"It's just me, there's no-one else here," they confirmed.
I focused on Kreff, and like I did for Leah a couple weeks earlier I sent a tiny bit of magic through the computer, across the internet, and found them. I got enough of a feel for them I could locate them again after we all logged off.
Finally I bid Leah and Raven a good night, and told Kreff "I'll be there in a half minute."
Once we all logged out I glanced around our apartment, which was was dark and quiet. Tess and Jodie came in around eight, but I was pretty sure Jodie left for the hotel by ten. Now it seemed like my girlfriend was already in bed, so she wouldn't miss me stepping out for a little while.
I turned off my computer then got to my feet and concentrated on Kreff. A moment later I was in their apartment, and I took a couple of seconds to look around at my new surroundings.
It actually reminded me of Raven's place. From what I could see it was a one-bedroom unit, but not tiny or cramped. I was standing in the middle of a good-sized living-room, with a big-screen TV on the wall to my right and a large comfy-looking sofa on my left. In front of me was a desk with a decent-looking gaming computer set-up. And in front of that, sitting on a gaming chair was Kreff.
They'd already swivelled the chair around so they saw me arrive, and they were currently staring wide-eyed and slack-jawed at me.
Just like when I visited Leah, I found myself comparing the person I saw to what I'd imagined based on their voice. And like with Leah, I felt like what I'd pictured wasn't far off.
Kreff's voice had been changing lately but originally I pictured a middle-aged AMAB accountant type, and that's sort of what I saw now. I'd guess someone in their forties, dark hair with a few grey streaks in a short professional trim. Clean-shaved, but with a five o'clock shadow. Their complexion was fair, in a way that made me think they didn't get out in the sun very much. And even seated, I could tell they were tall. Probably as tall as I used to be, maybe even my dad's height.
Their body had a lot of typical AMAB traits, but something about their face caught my eye. I wasn't as knowledgable about some of this stuff as Tess was, but I had a feeling Kreff had started hormone therapy. I was already pretty sure they'd been doing voice training, so it fit that they'd also be on HRT.
They were dressed very casual, in just a t-shirt and shorts. Not that I was wearing anything fancy, all I had on was a nightshirt.
I finally broke the awkward silence as I greeted them, "Hi Kreff. I'm Amy."
They responded tenatively, "Hi..."
They continued to stare, and I started to worry that my presence was scaring them or upsetting them.
After another couple seconds I grimaced, "Sorry if I'm making you nervous. Uh, I can go if you want? Or do you want me to do the thing with my staff first?"
My friend hesitated, and I got the impression they wanted to say something. Maybe they wanted to ask me for something but they were anxious or scared. Then it occured to me that they might not actually know what they wanted.
After another couple seconds I offered, "Or we could just talk?"
"Ok," they nodded. "I think I'd like that."
They got a couple cans of soda out of the fridge then we sat at opposite ends of the sofa. After a few sips of their drink Kreff finally spoke up.
"I'm not out as non-binary," they admitted. "My friends, family, people at work, they just know me as a guy. Publicly I still go by my legal name and use he/him pronouns. Part of the problem is I'm really not sure that isn't who I am? I've been using games like the one we play together to try and explore that?"
I grimaced, "I did that too, I think? I didn't know I was trans, I just liked playing girl characters. I related more to them, but I came up with all kinds of excuses for why. Anything other than admit it's because I was really a girl myself."
Kreff sighed, "I wish I was as brave as you. To play such a cute character while your voice instantly outed you... I admired that about you back then. And when your voice changed to match your looks, I didn't really buy the voice-changer story. It didn't add up, but I couldn't figure out what was going on. And you were clearly the same person, you acted the same and talked the same even if you sounded different."
That made me blush. I pointed out, "Your voice has been changing lately. And you've been making adjustments to your character's appearance too."
They sighed again but confirmed my suspicions, "I found some online voice lessons, and started doing them in private. The only places I use this voice are online though. And I guess I'm still doing it now with you because you already know me like that? But like I said, I'm not out in public. I talk the other way with everyone else."
I nodded slowly, then finally asked "So do you think you're trans? I mean, working on a femme voice isn't something I think a lot of cis guys would do."
Kreff grimaced, then shrugged. Finally they responded, "I don't know if I'm a girl. I'm pretty sure I'm not a guy, but that's all I'm sure of. I don't like using he/him pronouns, and I don't like my legal name. I don't like what I see in the mirror or the shower. I know what I'm not, but I don't know what I am."
They added with another sigh, "I feel like I can't be trans, because I don't know if I'm a girl? I didn't play with dolls as a kid, I didn't try and get into my mother's clothes or her make-up. Even as an adult I haven't tried cross-dressing, I'm not interested in wearing skirts or dresses. Trans girls I've talked to online say stuff like they knew they were really a girl right from the start? I'm forty-five and I still don't know. So I don't think I'm really trans."
"I'm a trans girl," I pointed out. "And I didn't know I was a girl until after I got magically transformed. And even then I tried to deny it. I agonized about how much I wanted to stay this way while at the same time I was convinced I couldn't. I didn't figure myself out until it was explained to me by a therapist-in-training who happened to know a fair bit about gender issues."
I added, "I'm not saying you're trans or not, just pointing out that not everyone figures themself out immediately. Some folks need time, and maybe they need some help to sort things out."
They stared at the floor with a thoughtful frown, then had another sip of their drink.
"A couple weeks back when me and Raven admitted we both looked like our game characters, you said something like you wished that too?" I reminded them. "Do you still wish for something like that?"
Kreff blushed and stalled by having some more of their soda. They finally sighed and shook their head, "Not really. I don't want to be an elf, and I wouldn't use the name 'Kreff' in real life. Plus..."
They sighed once more, "I'm not sure I'd be satisfied with that look. Like I said, I've been using games to explore and experiment, but I'm not sure what I want. I don't even know for sure that I'm comfortable being non-binary?"
"I guess I picked that because it felt safer than trying to be a girl," they admitted quietly. "I'm not sure it's really me though."
"That's fair and valid," I responded. "Have you tried out other pronouns? You've said being masc doesn't work for you, and from the sound of it you're not sure non-binary is right either. How about femme?"
Their cheeks took on a deeper blush as they admitted, "I'm not sure I could pull it off. Even if...I just don't think I could be girly? Like I said, I don't want to wear dresses or make-up."
I shrugged, "So don't. It's not the nineteenth century anymore, women are allowed to wear pants and have short hair. Tomboys are a thing. I can't imagine Leah going for a fancy princess gown and delicate glass slippers, right? She's a knight in shining armour, swinging a massive shield and huge sword, but she's still a girl."
Kreff smiled, though that turned into another grimace after a few moments. "I'm not sure I'd be comfortable like that either. The Amazon look doesn't feel right for me either."
"Fair enough." I frowned, then offered "Look it's Friday evening right? Do you have anything on this weekend, or are you pretty much free till Monday?"
"I don't have anything on," they replied. "I'll probably spend the weekend online, gaming or hanging out on discord. Why?"
I offered, "Once again no pressure. But the bottom line is I have godlike powers. Most of the time I'm just Amy, but I can also be the Goddess Amethyst. With your permission, I can take a little peak and find out what it is you really want, deep down inside. Even if you're not consciously aware of it, I can find out. And I can make it happen. Then you could spend the weekend trying it out, see how it feels. Like a test-drive, basically? Then I can come back Sunday evening and we can talk about what you want to do next. Change back, keep it, or try something else."
Their eyes went wide and their blush got even brighter. They gulped, then shook their head "I wouldn't want to impose, and I don't want to use up all your mana. And I'm sure you have other things going on, you're still attending college, you have your own life..."
"It's not like the game," I grinned. "I've got power to spare, I wouldn't offer this if I couldn't do it. And I don't have any plans for Sunday night so I can come back here to see you again. So what do you say?"
Kreff hesitated, then stalled again by gulping down the last of their soda. I could tell their heart was racing, they looked equal parts scared and excited. I was pretty sure they wanted to accept, but they were scared to admit it.
"What about..." they started, then stalled again for a moment. "What will I tell everyone? How will I explain things?"
I shrugged, "If we're just doing this for the weekend then nobody else needs to know. But if you want to keep it, then you're going to have to come up with something. I can change your ID and stuff, but I won't mess with people's minds. It'll be up to you to tell friends and family who you are."
There was another pause, then they asked "What if I just disappeared, then started over under a new name?"
I frowned, "That seems a bit extreme, but if that's what you wanted I could probably help with it? It's up to you."
Kreff hesitated again. They closed their eyes and took a few deep breaths, then finally looked at me again and nodded "Ok. For the weekend, then we'll talk on Sunday?"
"I promise I'll be back Sunday," I replied. "So if you're ready, I'll do what I said? Find what it is you really truly want?"
They nodded again, "Yes please. And thank you."
I focused, and it wasn't even hard. They already knew exactly what they wanted, the problem was they were too scared to admit it. They even had another name in mind. The situation reminded me of myself in a lot of ways, like they knew how they wanted to look, what name they wanted to use. But where I dove in and lived that vicariously through all my game characters, they held back out of anxiety and shame.
A moment later their body was engulfed in swirling gold magic, and when it faded their body had changed. No more half measures, no more holding back, I gave them what they really wanted.
They weren't as tall as before, but they hadn't shrunk too much, down to about five-foot-seven. They were slim, with long slender arms and legs. Their hair was silky auburn, it was longer than before but stopped above the shoulders in a cute pixie-cut, and their eyes were bright green. Their skin was fair and smooth and perfect, and they were definitely attractive. And finally their apparent age had dropped, from mid-forties to mid-twenties.
Their features were undeniably femme, including the two mounds on their chest and the lack of any kind of bulge in their shorts.
"There you go," I said with warm smile. "May I address you by the name you really wanted? Is it ok to call you Krissy?"
Krissy nodded slowly as they stood up, then looked down at themself with wide eyes. In an unmistakably femme voice they gasped, "Oh my Goddess it really is a miracle!"
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