"""Happy birthday!""" said Mum, Dad and Cluma, in a feat of impressive coordination.
Even more impressive was Darren, who said nothing, but wrote it in mid-air instead in big, flaming letters.
"Thanks," I said, eyeing up the cake Cluma had brought, cooked fresh by Clana.
My staring was interrupted by Cluma grabbing me from behind. "You're distracted," she declared. "And not just by cake. You didn't even dodge!"
"I... have a lot on my mind. Sorry."
"I thought you decided we had two years before any sort of monster invasion happened. There's plenty of time to prepare."
"Yes..." I agreed, unable to say that wasn't what I was distracted by. I'd left six people to slowly lose their minds to decrease a risk to our world. I hadn't eliminated the risk, and it was only a risk to start with. I could make arguments for it, obviously; if I couldn't I wouldn't have left without doing anything. And besides, I thought it unlikely that anything would have happened even if I had uploaded my opinions to the weird soul magic crystal. Without a consciousness behind it, how could anything implement my thoughts accurately? It would be just as likely to misinterpret me and make things worse. More likely, it was just there to record things for Erryn.
So many ways I could justify it, and none of them helped.
I'd left a tooth behind, so I could return without Krana's help, but that made things worse rather than better. I knew that at any point I could go there, touch the crystal and let it read my mind. It would all be over in a couple of minutes.
At some point, I was going to need to face those six again. I was putting it off as long as possible.
"Hey! Peter!"
"Huh?" I asked stupidly, brought out of my introspection by a glaring Cluma, hands on hips and rigid tail sticking out behind her.
My own was hanging limply...
"Okay, this is stupid. What's wrong with you? You're so out of it that Lucy has been trying to hand you a slice of cake for almost a minute, and you haven't even noticed."
I blinked and turned to Mum, who was indeed holding out a slice of cake.
"Thanks."
"Sheesh. You're more depressed than me after I came back from the Emerald Nest. You helped me then, so it's time for me to help you."
"Please don't change into that weird bodysuit."
"I wasn't planning to. If you're capable of ignoring cake, you're capable of ignoring that too."
I wasn't completely convinced of her logic, although it was Clana's cake, so there may have been something to it.
"What are you planning, then?"
She didn't answer, but grabbed my wrist, marched me over to the dining cable, and pushed me onto a chair. Then she sat down opposite. "I'm planning to listen. What's on your mind?"
Great. I'd acquired a councillor who literally couldn't listen to my problems. I'd have thought that sort of thing would leave me less positively inclined towards the Law, but the fact was that if everyone was Lawified, I wouldn't be having this problem.
Would I need to include myself as part of everyone? That was a scary thought. No way could I be as sanguine about it as the twins... Which in turn made me sympathise with Harry, and made me even less inclined to visit him again.
"Well?" she demanded. "Sharing your worries really will help. Don't just keep them all bottled up."
"Cluma is right, dear," said Mum. "You're not yourself today, and if you tell us what's wrong, maybe we can help."
Okay... How much could I explain without them getting memory-wiped?
"The people of Earth don't want to be affected by the System. I've done what I can, but newborns are still affected. They want me to rid Earth of it completely, but trying to force my way into the ark risks damaging the System on this world."
"Why don't they want it?" asked Mum. "Isn't it convenient? And it's not like they have to buy skills. They could just ignore it."
Yup. In a Lawified world, that was a perfectly reasonable answer. No-one would misuse System skills, so there would be nothing to worry about.
"They do have very good reasons for not wanting it, and I agree with them. It wasn't built for Earth, and its introduction would be catastrophic."
"What reasons?"
"Sorry, but I can't explain them."
"What? Why not?" snapped Cluma. "Are you going to tell me I can't understand, too, like those other Earth people keep saying? I'm not stupid!"
"Calm down, dear," said Mum. "I'm sure there's a reason for it."
"There is. Like... You know Darren's [Natural Mage] trait? It says it lifts System restrictions on magic? Then doesn't it stand to reason there could be other System restrictions?"
"Yes? But I don't see why you can't just explain!" complained Cluma.
"So there's some restriction that would harm Earth, but you can't tell us what it is? It shouldn't be impossible to explain; you've already told us plenty about Earth."
And that was why I didn't want to talk about it! Now Cluma was getting frustrated, and even Mum was agreeing with her, albeit more politely. I could just tell them about the Law, safe in the knowledge it would all be wiped out again, but I didn't want to exploit it like that!
"One restriction prevents you learning about the restrictions."
"In that case, you wouldn't know it either," pointed out Mum.
"Like Darren, I have a rank five trait. Rank five traits tend to lift System restrictions."
"Okay, then if not you, what about the Earth scientists? You reattached them!"
"Yes, and that's why they're so unhappy. It is affecting them, and it's just time delayed."
Cluma's eyes opened wide. "What? Really?"
"Yes, really. On the one hand, they need the System to survive here. On the other, it's taking something from them, and that scares them."
"And you aren't affected because of a rank five trait? What would you think if you weren't?"
Huh? I was half expecting going into that much detail to trigger a mind wipe. Maybe it helped that I was describing it as part of the System, rather than a discreet bit of mind control? I could run some experiments and find where the exact line between acceptable and unacceptable lay, but as ever, the thought of deliberately triggering mind wipes was incredibly discomforting.
"I'd agree with them."
"Then you should help them!"
"But I can't think of any way to help them that doesn't put this world at risk. I can't even think of a way that I'm sure will help them."
"You're overthinking things," stated Dad firmly. "You can only do so much. If you can help, help. If you can't, don't feel guilty over it."
A nice simple answer from Dad, as expected. If only the real world was so clear-cut.
"Hmm... You want to help, so now you're obsessing over whether to risk it, or whether there's a better option, or if you should just give in?"
"Yes, that's pretty much it."
"How long? You said it's time delayed, so how long do they have?"
"A couple of years? It's impossible to tell for sure."
"Then it's obvious, isn't it? Remember your idea, but for now, keep looking for a better solution. If you start running out of time, consider ways of making your current solution better. I'm not letting you stress about it for two years."
What other ideas could there possibly be? We couldn't do anything on our own. We needed what was left behind by Erryn.
... Or Erryn herself. Jason had said she was recovering. How quickly was she healing? Would she be ready within two years? A fourth entrant for our current three-way race.
Would it be fair to strip her of the human life she'd made for herself and try to reinstall her as the earth mother? Could we reinstall her? Krana had never told me what that core was for, but I could make some pretty good guesses. She obviously had plans for the future. But to ask her to deal with soul magic the moment she'd finished healing her wounds from using soul magic would be just plain unfair...
"You're sighing again," pointed out Cluma.
"Sorry. You're right. There's nothing at all I can do right now, and I know that logically, but... it's hard to be logical."
"Then eat cake. There is no problem in the world too big to not be helped by Mum's cake. And then we can go home, and I'll give you a massage for a change."
I gave her a check with [Analysis], but she hadn't bought [Basic Etiquette]. The comment still teased a smile out of me, though, so I dug my fork into the cake and finally took a bite.
As expected, it was divine.
Cluma may have been overselling the power of cake, despite not at all having a sweet tooth herself, but it did help take my mind off things, and I managed to get into a more relaxing chat. At least until the topic of Darren and Krana came up, which was a stress of a different sort. Thankfully, it was not one that was in any way my responsibility, and the thought of Krana being bashful over melting the landscape was still humorous.
And so, cake consumed, we returned to Dawnhold.
"Shall we resume delving, then?" I asked. My [Inventory] now contained a dangerous quantity of decay grenades, and I'd had some good skill upgrades from [Temporal Mage], even if I'd lost my rank one time spells. I was looking forward to trying out my new arsenal.
"Yes. Tomorrow. For now, clothes off."
I peered at Cluma.
"Massage, remember?"
I continued peering.
"Fine. You can leave your underwear on. Sheesh."
I thought I was doing fairly well. In barely a season, I'd gone from refusing to use the words 'mating season' or 'heat' in a sentence to the pair of us sharing a bed, where we engaged in such scandalous activities as hand-holding and cuddling. At the rate I was going, by next mating season I'd be ready for anything.
I wasn't ready for Cluma's idea of a massage, though.
"Ouch!" I exclaimed as she kneaded my back with System-augmented strength.
"Sorry! Umm... It's a bit late to be asking, but what am I supposed to do?"
That got the biggest smile of the day out of me. "Either buy [Basic Etiquette] or find someone else for me to demonstrate on."
I almost suggested she take lessons from not-Blobby, but her inability to produce hundreds of slimy tentacles meant not-Blobby's techniques weren't applicable.
"Oh! Obviously!" she exclaimed, leaving me wondering which of the two options she considered obvious. "Be right back!"
She ran out of the room, causing me a brief panic. She didn't need to move to buy [Basic Etiquette], so it must be option two, but I was still in my underwear!
[Mana Sight] showed she only went to her room, though, and she was back within seconds, clutching a hairbrush in one hand.
"After the first few strokes, this turns into the most relaxing thing ever!" she exclaimed.
I quickly tucked my tail under my legs.
"Honestly. You saw me the first time. It's all sensitive and overwhelming at first, but then it goes all restful."
The beastkin tail thing had always seemed weird to me, but then I considered the way humans were ticklish. It was basically the same thing. The response to being tickled made no sense at all. What sort of evolutionary advantage was it to let someone debilitate you in that way?
And Cluma that first time had turned into a purring puddle... She'd definitely been enjoying herself.
"Okay," I agreed nervously, spreading my legs a little and extending my tail out onto the bed.
Cluma ran the brush through it and, as expected, it felt like electric shocks were running up my back. I managed to do nothing more than twitch, but just as they were dying away, Cluma made a second stroke, causing a second burst of sparks to launch a party in my spine. But she was right; rather than becoming unbearable, the shocks merged together into a pleasant tingling that spread out over my whole body. Everything felt heavy, even more so than when I was using the metal versions of my limbs, and it extended to my torso, head and tail, too.
I realised with a start that I was paralysed. I couldn't move at all. I couldn't even speak. But somehow, it wasn't at all scary.
Cluma's condition when I did this to her suddenly made a lot more sense. I was probably drooling into my pillow, and I didn't even care.
The tail brushing abruptly ceased.
"No..." I grumbled on autopilot as some amount of muscle control returned.
"You... You just..." stammered Cluma.
"Huh?" I groaned, still only half conscious.
"You just purred!" she exclaimed.
"That's nice..." I mumbled as I drifted off to sleep.
"""Happy birthday!""" said Mum, Dad and Cluma, in a feat of impressive coordination.
Even more impressive was Darren, who said nothing, but wrote it in mid-air instead in big, flaming letters.
"Thanks," I said, eyeing up the cake Cluma had brought, cooked fresh by Clana.
My staring was interrupted by Cluma grabbing me from behind. "You're distracted," she declared. "And not just by cake. You didn't even dodge!"
"I... have a lot on my mind. Sorry."
"I thought you decided we had two years before any sort of monster invasion happened. There's plenty of time to prepare."
"Yes..." I agreed, unable to say that wasn't what I was distracted by. I'd left six people to slowly lose their minds to decrease a risk to our world. I hadn't eliminated the risk, and it was only a risk to start with. I could make arguments for it, obviously; if I couldn't I wouldn't have left without doing anything. And besides, I thought it unlikely that anything would have happened even if I had uploaded my opinions to the weird soul magic crystal. Without a consciousness behind it, how could anything implement my thoughts accurately? It would be just as likely to misinterpret me and make things worse. More likely, it was just there to record things for Erryn.
So many ways I could justify it, and none of them helped.
I'd left a tooth behind, so I could return without Krana's help, but that made things worse rather than better. I knew that at any point I could go there, touch the crystal and let it read my mind. It would all be over in a couple of minutes.
At some point, I was going to need to face those six again. I was putting it off as long as possible.
"Hey! Peter!"
"Huh?" I asked stupidly, brought out of my introspection by a glaring Cluma, hands on hips and rigid tail sticking out behind her.
My own was hanging limply...
"Okay, this is stupid. What's wrong with you? You're so out of it that Lucy has been trying to hand you a slice of cake for almost a minute, and you haven't even noticed."
I blinked and turned to Mum, who was indeed holding out a slice of cake.
"Thanks."
"Sheesh. You're more depressed than me after I came back from the Emerald Nest. You helped me then, so it's time for me to help you."
"Please don't change into that weird bodysuit."
"I wasn't planning to. If you're capable of ignoring cake, you're capable of ignoring that too."
I wasn't completely convinced of her logic, although it was Clana's cake, so there may have been something to it.
"What are you planning, then?"
She didn't answer, but grabbed my wrist, marched me over to the dining cable, and pushed me onto a chair. Then she sat down opposite. "I'm planning to listen. What's on your mind?"
Great. I'd acquired a councillor who literally couldn't listen to my problems. I'd have thought that sort of thing would leave me less positively inclined towards the Law, but the fact was that if everyone was Lawified, I wouldn't be having this problem.
Would I need to include myself as part of everyone? That was a scary thought. No way could I be as sanguine about it as the twins... Which in turn made me sympathise with Harry, and made me even less inclined to visit him again.
"Well?" she demanded. "Sharing your worries really will help. Don't just keep them all bottled up."
"Cluma is right, dear," said Mum. "You're not yourself today, and if you tell us what's wrong, maybe we can help."
Okay... How much could I explain without them getting memory-wiped?
"The people of Earth don't want to be affected by the System. I've done what I can, but newborns are still affected. They want me to rid Earth of it completely, but trying to force my way into the ark risks damaging the System on this world."
"Why don't they want it?" asked Mum. "Isn't it convenient? And it's not like they have to buy skills. They could just ignore it."
Yup. In a Lawified world, that was a perfectly reasonable answer. No-one would misuse System skills, so there would be nothing to worry about.
"They do have very good reasons for not wanting it, and I agree with them. It wasn't built for Earth, and its introduction would be catastrophic."
"What reasons?"
"Sorry, but I can't explain them."
"What? Why not?" snapped Cluma. "Are you going to tell me I can't understand, too, like those other Earth people keep saying? I'm not stupid!"
"Calm down, dear," said Mum. "I'm sure there's a reason for it."
"There is. Like... You know Darren's [Natural Mage] trait? It says it lifts System restrictions on magic? Then doesn't it stand to reason there could be other System restrictions?"
"Yes? But I don't see why you can't just explain!" complained Cluma.
"So there's some restriction that would harm Earth, but you can't tell us what it is? It shouldn't be impossible to explain; you've already told us plenty about Earth."
And that was why I didn't want to talk about it! Now Cluma was getting frustrated, and even Mum was agreeing with her, albeit more politely. I could just tell them about the Law, safe in the knowledge it would all be wiped out again, but I didn't want to exploit it like that!
"One restriction prevents you learning about the restrictions."
"In that case, you wouldn't know it either," pointed out Mum.
"Like Darren, I have a rank five trait. Rank five traits tend to lift System restrictions."
"Okay, then if not you, what about the Earth scientists? You reattached them!"
"Yes, and that's why they're so unhappy. It is affecting them, and it's just time delayed."
Cluma's eyes opened wide. "What? Really?"
"Yes, really. On the one hand, they need the System to survive here. On the other, it's taking something from them, and that scares them."
"And you aren't affected because of a rank five trait? What would you think if you weren't?"
Huh? I was half expecting going into that much detail to trigger a mind wipe. Maybe it helped that I was describing it as part of the System, rather than a discreet bit of mind control? I could run some experiments and find where the exact line between acceptable and unacceptable lay, but as ever, the thought of deliberately triggering mind wipes was incredibly discomforting.
"I'd agree with them."
"Then you should help them!"
"But I can't think of any way to help them that doesn't put this world at risk. I can't even think of a way that I'm sure will help them."
"You're overthinking things," stated Dad firmly. "You can only do so much. If you can help, help. If you can't, don't feel guilty over it."
A nice simple answer from Dad, as expected. If only the real world was so clear-cut.
"Hmm... You want to help, so now you're obsessing over whether to risk it, or whether there's a better option, or if you should just give in?"
"Yes, that's pretty much it."
"How long? You said it's time delayed, so how long do they have?"
"A couple of years? It's impossible to tell for sure."
"Then it's obvious, isn't it? Remember your idea, but for now, keep looking for a better solution. If you start running out of time, consider ways of making your current solution better. I'm not letting you stress about it for two years."
What other ideas could there possibly be? We couldn't do anything on our own. We needed what was left behind by Erryn.
... Or Erryn herself. Jason had said she was recovering. How quickly was she healing? Would she be ready within two years? A fourth entrant for our current three-way race.
Would it be fair to strip her of the human life she'd made for herself and try to reinstall her as the earth mother? Could we reinstall her? Krana had never told me what that core was for, but I could make some pretty good guesses. She obviously had plans for the future. But to ask her to deal with soul magic the moment she'd finished healing her wounds from using soul magic would be just plain unfair...
"You're sighing again," pointed out Cluma.
"Sorry. You're right. There's nothing at all I can do right now, and I know that logically, but... it's hard to be logical."
"Then eat cake. There is no problem in the world too big to not be helped by Mum's cake. And then we can go home, and I'll give you a massage for a change."
I gave her a check with [Analysis], but she hadn't bought [Basic Etiquette]. The comment still teased a smile out of me, though, so I dug my fork into the cake and finally took a bite.
As expected, it was divine.
Cluma may have been overselling the power of cake, despite not at all having a sweet tooth herself, but it did help take my mind off things, and I managed to get into a more relaxing chat. At least until the topic of Darren and Krana came up, which was a stress of a different sort. Thankfully, it was not one that was in any way my responsibility, and the thought of Krana being bashful over melting the landscape was still humorous.
And so, cake consumed, we returned to Dawnhold.
"Shall we resume delving, then?" I asked. My [Inventory] now contained a dangerous quantity of decay grenades, and I'd had some good skill upgrades from [Temporal Mage], even if I'd lost my rank one time spells. I was looking forward to trying out my new arsenal.
"Yes. Tomorrow. For now, clothes off."
I peered at Cluma.
"Massage, remember?"
I continued peering.
"Fine. You can leave your underwear on. Sheesh."
I thought I was doing fairly well. In barely a season, I'd gone from refusing to use the words 'mating season' or 'heat' in a sentence to the pair of us sharing a bed, where we engaged in such scandalous activities as hand-holding and cuddling. At the rate I was going, by next mating season I'd be ready for anything.
I wasn't ready for Cluma's idea of a massage, though.
"Ouch!" I exclaimed as she kneaded my back with System-augmented strength.
"Sorry! Umm... It's a bit late to be asking, but what am I supposed to do?"
That got the biggest smile of the day out of me. "Either buy [Basic Etiquette] or find someone else for me to demonstrate on."
I almost suggested she take lessons from not-Blobby, but her inability to produce hundreds of slimy tentacles meant not-Blobby's techniques weren't applicable.
"Oh! Obviously!" she exclaimed, leaving me wondering which of the two options she considered obvious. "Be right back!"
She ran out of the room, causing me a brief panic. She didn't need to move to buy [Basic Etiquette], so it must be option two, but I was still in my underwear!
[Mana Sight] showed she only went to her room, though, and she was back within seconds, clutching a hairbrush in one hand.
"After the first few strokes, this turns into the most relaxing thing ever!" she exclaimed.
I quickly tucked my tail under my legs.
"Honestly. You saw me the first time. It's all sensitive and overwhelming at first, but then it goes all restful."
The beastkin tail thing had always seemed weird to me, but then I considered the way humans were ticklish. It was basically the same thing. The response to being tickled made no sense at all. What sort of evolutionary advantage was it to let someone debilitate you in that way?
And Cluma that first time had turned into a purring puddle... She'd definitely been enjoying herself.
"Okay," I agreed nervously, spreading my legs a little and extending my tail out onto the bed.
Cluma ran the brush through it and, as expected, it felt like electric shocks were running up my back. I managed to do nothing more than twitch, but just as they were dying away, Cluma made a second stroke, causing a second burst of sparks to launch a party in my spine. But she was right; rather than becoming unbearable, the shocks merged together into a pleasant tingling that spread out over my whole body. Everything felt heavy, even more so than when I was using the metal versions of my limbs, and it extended to my torso, head and tail, too.
I realised with a start that I was paralysed. I couldn't move at all. I couldn't even speak. But somehow, it wasn't at all scary.
Cluma's condition when I did this to her suddenly made a lot more sense. I was probably drooling into my pillow, and I didn't even care.
The tail brushing abruptly ceased.
"No..." I grumbled on autopilot as some amount of muscle control returned.
"You... You just..." stammered Cluma.
"Huh?" I groaned, still only half conscious.
"You just purred!" she exclaimed.
"That's nice..." I mumbled as I drifted off to sleep.
