I am fire.
I am… death.
I have the wings of a hurricane!
I have feathers of a rainbow!
I have permission!
Burn them! BURN THEM ALL!
Leave only the ashes dancing in the breeze!
A dark and cruel laugh escaped from my beak.
They would know the blazing wrath of Aoife Auri Stentor!
“Ah ha HA HA HAAAAAAAA!”
Okay, okay, alright, calm down. Small little candle flame, not a big inferno emotion. I was a big bird now. No more silly burning everything, oh no. I had a mission, a task. Focus!
Burn all the rats! Did that stupid parrot count as a rat? It was ugly enough…
Straight into the closest - wait no, there was a bakery, let’s go there! They need to be clean more than anyone! They were super duper ultra important! That window! Yes! Gaze upon me and rejoice, the [Brrettiest] thing you’ve ever seen is here! I am here to save you from the Evil Rats!
Screams of joy! Screams of awe! Adore me, for today you are blessed!
I ducked and dove under a thrown bowl and a swung pan. Everyone was doing this! People have such weird greetings in this city! Maybe I should throw a pan back at them? Would that be polite? Or was it something just for the host to do?
Okay, think, think.
No time to be polite!
“Sorry!” I yelled at them, then whipped around the room, hunting for the filthy vermin that MUST be around here somewhere.
Over counters! Under tables! Through chairs!
Ah-HA! A little hole in the wall! In I go!
Zip!
Zoom!
A RAT!
BURN!
[Flame Selection]: Divine Fire of Wrath.
[Immolate]. [True Flames]. [Domain of Fire]. [Everything Burns]. [Clinging Flames].
[Inferno Conjuration]!!
The flames erupted all over the filth, and I ignored its pitiful squeaks for mercy, carefully tending the flames.
Only burn the rat! No walls! No lint! No sawdust! No stray sparks!
Just the rat!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 17 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Yes! Of course! The natural order maintained! I, Auri, was on top with Elaine and Fenrir! Iona, Bridget, Plato and more were one step below that! And alllllllllll the way at the bottom was filth!
I flitted through the gaps in the walls, paths made with base cunning, purging all traces that filth had ever lived here! Down to the droppings and the fleas! My flames burned so hot, so clean, that not even smoke was left!
Yes! Success! Another badge for me!
Clean house! Good Auri! Time to leave!
But wait! First! The chance of a lifetime for the people here to admire me!
Zoom! Zip! Up I go, back to the people!
“Admire m - NOT ANOTHER FRYING PAN!” I shouted, dodging another customary greeting of this place.
Honestly! You’d think they were ungrateful or something!
Humph! Fine! I can see when I’m not wanted!
I flew back out the window, hurling a number of choice insults that Elaine would’ve bopped me for.
Next house! No lights! Sleeping people! Yes! Perfect!
Sneaky Auri!
I went through the house, going low and finding another rat hole. I zipped! Zoomed! Into the hole! Through the walls!
No rats here…
Hmmm…
I flew back out of the hole, and started to look around.
Ahha! Rat in the kitchen!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 54 (Decay)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Yes, yesss, goood! I flew around more, checking for evil rats!
A RAT!
Wait! Careful!
The supreme ugly evil of filth and disease was in a cradle! There was a sleeping baby there! No system! No protection!
Except me! I protect! Aoife Auri Stentor, slayer of rats, protector of babes!
Yes! Excellent! Perfect! Beautiful!
One! Two! Three! Four [Mage Hands]! Grab the rat! Muffle its squeaks!
Bad rat! No scratching the baby!
Lift it up and off!
BURN!
“WhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Oh no! Baby was crying! Water coming out of his eyes!
I help!
I landed next to the baby, because my beautiful colors could calm anyone! Even soothe crying babes!
[Mage Hand]! I pet!
“Shhhh, shhh, it’s okay! The ugly rat is gone now!” I soothed. Baby smart! Baby understands brrrrpts!
Why is the baby crying more!? Making even more water!?
The door slammed open! The parents, yay!
WAIT NO-
FINE!
I see when I’m not wanted! Humph! After I saved their baby and everything!
Next house! Whoosh! Fire! BURN!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 22 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
BURN!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 11 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
BURN THEM ALL!!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 30 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Stupid pans! Why’d you smack me!? I. Am. HELPING!
BAH! Some people just didn’t want to be helped!
I ignored the meanie who’d hit me with a frying pan running away from his house, shouting something.
I flew up high into the sky, positioned such that everyone who looked up could gaze upon me and know true beauty. Unlike those people. The ones with the frying pans.
Frying pans were such a beautiful tool for cooking lovely food! Who’d ever desecrate them by hitting me with one?! Honestly. The nerve of some people.
Okay, okay, calm down, calm down, think.
I’d spent minutes on a single rat. That was no good! No! Too slow!
I needed to burn dozens of rats A SECOND! Yes! That’s how I’d kill enough of them! Then Elaine would be happy with me! I’d be a better hunter than Fenrir!
Oh! We should race! See who could kill more! Me or Fenrir! It’d be a game! Yes! A FUN game!!
The easy solution was to burn the entire town to the ground. Set the perimeter on fire, create a wall of flame, and march it into the center of the town. No more rats!
No more plague either! Two rats, one fireball! And the most glorious bonfire the island had ever seen! THREE rats, one fireball!
Okay, okay, think. How would this plan go wrong?
Sneaky dirty wet rats could slip into the harbor. The evil water would protect them, and the filthy rats would swim away. Bah!
Oh, also, most people would die. That was bad as well. They couldn’t look at me anymore! They couldn’t admire me! No admirers was bad. And! AND! They couldn’t sell me mangos anymore, OR make juice!! I’d have to do it myself!
Bah humbug! NO! That was all wrong!
OH!
Elaine couldn’t get a ton of experience healing people! And if she wasn’t getting experience healing people, I wasn’t getting it! Then I couldn’t level! Then my flames wouldn’t be as big or as bright as they could be!
Burning everything down was ABSOLUTELY NOT an option!
Okay, okay, think. If I was a rat, where would I be?
Hmmm.
HMMMM.
In order to burn a rat to death, I must THINK like a rat!
Okay!
Auri-Rat, let’s go!
I’m small. I’m furry. I’m ugly.
EwwwwwwwwWWWW!
No!
I can’t do this!
Auri-Rainbow-Rat, let’s go!
I’m small. I’m furry. I’m the prettiest rat that ever existed. Yes, yes, perfect, okay, I can work with this.
I carry DISEASE and PLAGUE and DIRT! I am the carrier of grime!
Okay! Where do I go?
Well, I’m the [Prattiest] rat that ever ratted. I’d want to show off… but wait! I can’t show off to people! I have to show off to other rats!
I’d want rat-food. What did rats eat? … grains? I think? Dirty leaves? Leftover food?
And I’d want LOTS of rat-food! ALL the rat-food! YES! Tasty! Filling!
I’d want to have it delivered STRAIGHT to me! No walking! No sneaking! I was a sneaky rainbow-rat, and running around was HARD because I was tiny and WALKING because I didn’t have pretty wings!
A small tear trickled down from my face for poor Auri-rainbow-rat, who had no wings and had to WALK everywhere.
Okay, so little Auri-rainbow-rat wants to be in the biggest food section in the city! A grain warehouse! Burning it to the ground would burn lots of rats, and kill their food!
Yes!
But… other people were also smart. They didn’t want their grain eaten by rats, oh no! They’d have defenses! Protection! Maybe wards, maybe cats! If they were smart they’d have a phoenix or two defending the grain, but I didn’t think they’d be that smart.
Okay, okay, think.
Auri-rainbow-rat can’t get into the grain warehouse. She eats… I don’t want to think about what she eats. The best place to be sneaky, hide, get lots of food, and see other rats… hmmm… where was there unguarded food?
Well, the trash. But the trash kept moving around! Where did people put their trash? Nobody guarded trash.
The sewers!
Yes!
It was perfect!
Too small for Fenrir, so sad. He’d be unhappy that he missed things.
Okay, okay, think.
I know!
I’d get him a present! Yes! A shiny present! I didn’t know what I’d get him yet, but I’d figure it out! Oh yes! It’d be the BEST PRESENT EVER!
I shuddered as a bolt of Lightning hit me out of the clear blue sky. I exploded into flames, burning embers scattering across the breeze as my body disintegrated.
My good friend showed up, inky black feathers changing to pure white as they recognized me.
“Cousin.” White Dove said, with none of her usual pomp and circumstance. “How kind of you to visit. How are you?”
“Great! Although, someone just hit me with a bolt of Lightning, and that sucks. How about you? How are things going? Any fun new curses?” I asked White Dove.
She chuckled.
“Well, as it happens…”
We spent an immortal moment together, frozen in time, just catching up and talking.
“... alas, I have to go. Would you like to come with me?” White Dove asked.
“Nope! I’m having too much fun!” I told her.
“Then continue to enjoy life.” White Dove said before fading away.
[*ding!* Oh grand phoenix, harbinger of fire and flame, lady of all you witness and the beating heart of the sun, you have gained a level! [Phoenix Rebirth] has gone from level 4 to level 5! Rejoice!]
The glowing embers of my body stitched themselves back together, and I was once again whole and hale.
That had been so rude! I fled, not wanting to get hit by another bolt of Lightning, drawing as many rude gestures and offensive pictures as I could in the sky.
Take that! And THAT! I was trying to help your stinky city, and you bolted me!?
Humph! I was going to tell on them to Elaine! And Iona! And Fenrir!
I flew down to Iona, who was sitting on a bench in a park near the central square. She had food! Yay! Elaine was so smart making a nest with Iona!
She waved me over and uncorked a small jug of juice.
Fuel! Perfect! Just what I needed after all that hard work and adventuring!
“Thank you!” I told Iona as I started to take big, greedy gulps.
She nodded.
“You’re very welcome. Were you causing problems?”
I shook my head, little drops of juice flying.
“Nope! Just burning rats! Like we said!”
Iona nodded.
“Good job little one, keep up the good work. Why don’t I explain to the guards what’s going on, and see if I can get you out of trouble. Maybe I can even get them to help you?”
I nodded.
“Yes!” I remembered my manners, Elaine and Bridget had both told me lots about them! “Please, and thank you!”
The bag of food next to Iona got up and started to dash away, slowly fading from view as Elaine’s fancy spell made it hidden.
“Hi Elaine! Bye Elaine!” I called out. Stupid spell didn’t let her say hi back!
“Right, off you go.” Iona said, and I took off like a shot.
Shouts! Blah! Thrown ropes with weights! Duck! Dodge!
“Nya nya nya nya, can’t touch me.” I taunted the silly guards trying to trap me.
I ignored what they said. Unworthy! I’m not listening!
To the sewers! Down the grate I go!
Eww.
EWWW.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
People always said they were gross, but this was totally gross!! 0/10 on the baking scale! Instant fail! Throw it away!
Wait, hang on, it was all thrown away, that’s why it was here. DUH!
Some neat flames around me burned the nasty smells before they could get to me! Ahha! Clever! Smart!
Operation: Purge Every Last Rat With Cleansing Flames of the Most Beautiful Divine Auri EVER was a GO!
[I am the Brrrettiest]! [Flame Selection]: White Phosphorus, Divine Fire of Purging, Phoenix Phlame, Napalm, Exterreri Fire, Amaterasu, Zirconium, Darvaza Fire, and Goblin Fire! Yes! All the beautiful colors of the rainbow! Nine different copies of me were summoned into existence, each one composed of a different type of fire, ready to go!
Onwards!
I slowly flew down the sewers, my [Brrretiest] clones ducking down little side passages to BURN! Roast the rats! Go forth my minions and exterminate!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 6 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 50 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!!!
I am fire!
I am death!
Flee little rats, flee! Run for your puny little lives!
There is nowhere to run!
Nowhere to hide!
I instill terror in the hearts of rats!
Down and through I went, tunnel after tunnel, filthy sewer after filthy sewer, purging all with cleansing fire! Notification after notification poured in like the sweet cracking of a log popping! Rats! Mice! Newts! Slimes! All purged before the glory that is FIRE!
[*ding* Elaine’s working hard! We got another level! Make sure to tell her thank you! [Phoenix of the Divine Flame] went from 458 to 459! Celebrate by bringing Elaine a mango!!]
Then!
THEN!
The dread beast himself came forth!
The mighty and powerful [Rat King], two dozen rats tied together at the tail emerged from the foul sludge! He bared his teeth! He hissed! He snapped! The dread concoction scurried forth, clad in darkness, smashing right through one of my [I am the Brrettiest] clones! A second one belched foul green smoke, the third started to fling sludge at me and more and more attacks came!
No! Zirconium! Noooooooooo!
Foul beast! Take this!
All the fire!
[Auri’s Meteor Storm] was supposed to be an open-air attack, but no! Nothing else would do!
GOOO!!!!!
Pure flames carpeted every inch of the sewer, an endless bombardment of flaming meteors raining down upon the [Rat King].
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 245 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
…
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 180 (Miasma)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Yes, praise me! I am the-
My world went red and white as a massive explosion tore through the sewers.
=================================
Elaine
I sat down heavily next to Iona in a park, dismissing [Greater Invisibility] for the time being. The sun was all the way down, and the moons were just starting to peek over the horizon. Iona handed me a plate of food larger than my head.
“Hey, how’s it going?” She asked me.
“Oh fuck.” I groaned as I dug into the plate, not caring what was there, talking with my mouth full between bites. “You’re the best. How are things going with you?”
“Well-” Iona started to say, only to be interrupted by an explosion.
My neck snapped 180 degrees around towards the source of the noise, a pillar of flames erupting a dozen blocks away. My eyes spotted a tiny multi-colored source at the very top of them, and I was able to hear Auri’s shriek of delight.
“BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!”
I sighed.
“God damnit, Auri.”
[Name: Aoife Auri Stentor]
[Race: Phoenix]
[Age: 6]
[Mana: 2,886/916,070]
[Mana Regen: 860,132]
Stats
[Free Stats: 0]
[Pushing Power: 30]
[Fancy Flying: 16,852]
[Reactions and Reflexes/Twitchiness: 19,410]
[Zippiness: 19,530]
[Kindling: 91,607]
[New Juice: 91,583]
[Flame Size: 80,215]
[Fire Control: 80,107]
[Class 1: [Phoenix of the Divine Flame - Inferno: Lv 459]]
[Inferno Authority: 459]
[Phoenix Rebirth: 5]
[Inferno Manipulation: 459]
[Inferno Conjuration: 459]
[True Flames: 459]
[Burn Magic: 459]
[Domain of Fire: 459]
[Auri's Meteor Storm: 459]
[Class 2: [The Phoenix Everliving - Inferno: Lv 256]]
[See Magic: 256]
[Immolate: 256]
[Everything Burns: 256]
[Clinging Flames: 256]
[Burning Orbs: 256]
[Mage Hand: 256]
[I am the Brrettiest: 256]
[Flame Selection: 256]
[Class 3: [- : Lv ]]
[: ]
[: ]
[: ]
[: ]
[: ]
[: ]
[: ]
[: ]
General Skills
[Phoenix's Perfection: 459]
[Incandescence: 342]
[Adorable: 277]
[Precocious: 263]
[Companion Bond between Auri and Elaine: 459]
[Flying: 368]
[Preening: 227]
[Baking: 304]
I am fire.
I am… death.
I have the wings of a hurricane!
I have feathers of a rainbow!
I have permission!
Burn them! BURN THEM ALL!
Leave only the ashes dancing in the breeze!
A dark and cruel laugh escaped from my beak.
They would know the blazing wrath of Aoife Auri Stentor!
“Ah ha HA HA HAAAAAAAA!”
Okay, okay, alright, calm down. Small little candle flame, not a big inferno emotion. I was a big bird now. No more silly burning everything, oh no. I had a mission, a task. Focus!
Burn all the rats! Did that stupid parrot count as a rat? It was ugly enough…
Straight into the closest - wait no, there was a bakery, let’s go there! They need to be clean more than anyone! They were super duper ultra important! That window! Yes! Gaze upon me and rejoice, the [Brrettiest] thing you’ve ever seen is here! I am here to save you from the Evil Rats!
Screams of joy! Screams of awe! Adore me, for today you are blessed!
I ducked and dove under a thrown bowl and a swung pan. Everyone was doing this! People have such weird greetings in this city! Maybe I should throw a pan back at them? Would that be polite? Or was it something just for the host to do?
Okay, think, think.
No time to be polite!
“Sorry!” I yelled at them, then whipped around the room, hunting for the filthy vermin that MUST be around here somewhere.
Over counters! Under tables! Through chairs!
Ah-HA! A little hole in the wall! In I go!
Zip!
Zoom!
A RAT!
BURN!
[Flame Selection]: Divine Fire of Wrath.
[Immolate]. [True Flames]. [Domain of Fire]. [Everything Burns]. [Clinging Flames].
[Inferno Conjuration]!!
The flames erupted all over the filth, and I ignored its pitiful squeaks for mercy, carefully tending the flames.
Only burn the rat! No walls! No lint! No sawdust! No stray sparks!
Just the rat!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 17 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Yes! Of course! The natural order maintained! I, Auri, was on top with Elaine and Fenrir! Iona, Bridget, Plato and more were one step below that! And alllllllllll the way at the bottom was filth!
I flitted through the gaps in the walls, paths made with base cunning, purging all traces that filth had ever lived here! Down to the droppings and the fleas! My flames burned so hot, so clean, that not even smoke was left!
Yes! Success! Another badge for me!
Clean house! Good Auri! Time to leave!
But wait! First! The chance of a lifetime for the people here to admire me!
Zoom! Zip! Up I go, back to the people!
“Admire m - NOT ANOTHER FRYING PAN!” I shouted, dodging another customary greeting of this place.
Honestly! You’d think they were ungrateful or something!
Humph! Fine! I can see when I’m not wanted!
I flew back out the window, hurling a number of choice insults that Elaine would’ve bopped me for.
Next house! No lights! Sleeping people! Yes! Perfect!
Sneaky Auri!
I went through the house, going low and finding another rat hole. I zipped! Zoomed! Into the hole! Through the walls!
No rats here…
Hmmm…
I flew back out of the hole, and started to look around.
Ahha! Rat in the kitchen!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 54 (Decay)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Yes, yesss, goood! I flew around more, checking for evil rats!
A RAT!
Wait! Careful!
The supreme ugly evil of filth and disease was in a cradle! There was a sleeping baby there! No system! No protection!
Except me! I protect! Aoife Auri Stentor, slayer of rats, protector of babes!
Yes! Excellent! Perfect! Beautiful!
One! Two! Three! Four [Mage Hands]! Grab the rat! Muffle its squeaks!
Bad rat! No scratching the baby!
Lift it up and off!
BURN!
“WhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!” Oh no! Baby was crying! Water coming out of his eyes!
I help!
I landed next to the baby, because my beautiful colors could calm anyone! Even soothe crying babes!
[Mage Hand]! I pet!
“Shhhh, shhh, it’s okay! The ugly rat is gone now!” I soothed. Baby smart! Baby understands brrrrpts!
Why is the baby crying more!? Making even more water!?
The door slammed open! The parents, yay!
WAIT NO-
FINE!
I see when I’m not wanted! Humph! After I saved their baby and everything!
Next house! Whoosh! Fire! BURN!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 22 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
BURN!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 11 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
BURN THEM ALL!!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 30 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Stupid pans! Why’d you smack me!? I. Am. HELPING!
BAH! Some people just didn’t want to be helped!
I ignored the meanie who’d hit me with a frying pan running away from his house, shouting something.
I flew up high into the sky, positioned such that everyone who looked up could gaze upon me and know true beauty. Unlike those people. The ones with the frying pans.
Frying pans were such a beautiful tool for cooking lovely food! Who’d ever desecrate them by hitting me with one?! Honestly. The nerve of some people.
Okay, okay, calm down, calm down, think.
I’d spent minutes on a single rat. That was no good! No! Too slow!
I needed to burn dozens of rats A SECOND! Yes! That’s how I’d kill enough of them! Then Elaine would be happy with me! I’d be a better hunter than Fenrir!
Oh! We should race! See who could kill more! Me or Fenrir! It’d be a game! Yes! A FUN game!!
The easy solution was to burn the entire town to the ground. Set the perimeter on fire, create a wall of flame, and march it into the center of the town. No more rats!
No more plague either! Two rats, one fireball! And the most glorious bonfire the island had ever seen! THREE rats, one fireball!
Okay, okay, think. How would this plan go wrong?
Sneaky dirty wet rats could slip into the harbor. The evil water would protect them, and the filthy rats would swim away. Bah!
Oh, also, most people would die. That was bad as well. They couldn’t look at me anymore! They couldn’t admire me! No admirers was bad. And! AND! They couldn’t sell me mangos anymore, OR make juice!! I’d have to do it myself!
Bah humbug! NO! That was all wrong!
OH!
Elaine couldn’t get a ton of experience healing people! And if she wasn’t getting experience healing people, I wasn’t getting it! Then I couldn’t level! Then my flames wouldn’t be as big or as bright as they could be!
Burning everything down was ABSOLUTELY NOT an option!
Okay, okay, think. If I was a rat, where would I be?
Hmmm.
HMMMM.
In order to burn a rat to death, I must THINK like a rat!
Okay!
Auri-Rat, let’s go!
I’m small. I’m furry. I’m ugly.
EwwwwwwwwWWWW!
No!
I can’t do this!
Auri-Rainbow-Rat, let’s go!
I’m small. I’m furry. I’m the prettiest rat that ever existed. Yes, yes, perfect, okay, I can work with this.
I carry DISEASE and PLAGUE and DIRT! I am the carrier of grime!
Okay! Where do I go?
Well, I’m the [Prattiest] rat that ever ratted. I’d want to show off… but wait! I can’t show off to people! I have to show off to other rats!
I’d want rat-food. What did rats eat? … grains? I think? Dirty leaves? Leftover food?
And I’d want LOTS of rat-food! ALL the rat-food! YES! Tasty! Filling!
I’d want to have it delivered STRAIGHT to me! No walking! No sneaking! I was a sneaky rainbow-rat, and running around was HARD because I was tiny and WALKING because I didn’t have pretty wings!
A small tear trickled down from my face for poor Auri-rainbow-rat, who had no wings and had to WALK everywhere.
Okay, so little Auri-rainbow-rat wants to be in the biggest food section in the city! A grain warehouse! Burning it to the ground would burn lots of rats, and kill their food!
Yes!
But… other people were also smart. They didn’t want their grain eaten by rats, oh no! They’d have defenses! Protection! Maybe wards, maybe cats! If they were smart they’d have a phoenix or two defending the grain, but I didn’t think they’d be that smart.
Okay, okay, think.
Auri-rainbow-rat can’t get into the grain warehouse. She eats… I don’t want to think about what she eats. The best place to be sneaky, hide, get lots of food, and see other rats… hmmm… where was there unguarded food?
Well, the trash. But the trash kept moving around! Where did people put their trash? Nobody guarded trash.
The sewers!
Yes!
It was perfect!
Too small for Fenrir, so sad. He’d be unhappy that he missed things.
Okay, okay, think.
I know!
I’d get him a present! Yes! A shiny present! I didn’t know what I’d get him yet, but I’d figure it out! Oh yes! It’d be the BEST PRESENT EVER!
I shuddered as a bolt of Lightning hit me out of the clear blue sky. I exploded into flames, burning embers scattering across the breeze as my body disintegrated.
My good friend showed up, inky black feathers changing to pure white as they recognized me.
“Cousin.” White Dove said, with none of her usual pomp and circumstance. “How kind of you to visit. How are you?”
“Great! Although, someone just hit me with a bolt of Lightning, and that sucks. How about you? How are things going? Any fun new curses?” I asked White Dove.
She chuckled.
“Well, as it happens…”
We spent an immortal moment together, frozen in time, just catching up and talking.
“... alas, I have to go. Would you like to come with me?” White Dove asked.
“Nope! I’m having too much fun!” I told her.
“Then continue to enjoy life.” White Dove said before fading away.
[*ding!* Oh grand phoenix, harbinger of fire and flame, lady of all you witness and the beating heart of the sun, you have gained a level! [Phoenix Rebirth] has gone from level 4 to level 5! Rejoice!]
The glowing embers of my body stitched themselves back together, and I was once again whole and hale.
That had been so rude! I fled, not wanting to get hit by another bolt of Lightning, drawing as many rude gestures and offensive pictures as I could in the sky.
Take that! And THAT! I was trying to help your stinky city, and you bolted me!?
Humph! I was going to tell on them to Elaine! And Iona! And Fenrir!
I flew down to Iona, who was sitting on a bench in a park near the central square. She had food! Yay! Elaine was so smart making a nest with Iona!
She waved me over and uncorked a small jug of juice.
Fuel! Perfect! Just what I needed after all that hard work and adventuring!
“Thank you!” I told Iona as I started to take big, greedy gulps.
She nodded.
“You’re very welcome. Were you causing problems?”
I shook my head, little drops of juice flying.
“Nope! Just burning rats! Like we said!”
Iona nodded.
“Good job little one, keep up the good work. Why don’t I explain to the guards what’s going on, and see if I can get you out of trouble. Maybe I can even get them to help you?”
I nodded.
“Yes!” I remembered my manners, Elaine and Bridget had both told me lots about them! “Please, and thank you!”
The bag of food next to Iona got up and started to dash away, slowly fading from view as Elaine’s fancy spell made it hidden.
“Hi Elaine! Bye Elaine!” I called out. Stupid spell didn’t let her say hi back!
“Right, off you go.” Iona said, and I took off like a shot.
Shouts! Blah! Thrown ropes with weights! Duck! Dodge!
“Nya nya nya nya, can’t touch me.” I taunted the silly guards trying to trap me.
I ignored what they said. Unworthy! I’m not listening!
To the sewers! Down the grate I go!
Eww.
EWWW.
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!
People always said they were gross, but this was totally gross!! 0/10 on the baking scale! Instant fail! Throw it away!
Wait, hang on, it was all thrown away, that’s why it was here. DUH!
Some neat flames around me burned the nasty smells before they could get to me! Ahha! Clever! Smart!
Operation: Purge Every Last Rat With Cleansing Flames of the Most Beautiful Divine Auri EVER was a GO!
[I am the Brrrettiest]! [Flame Selection]: White Phosphorus, Divine Fire of Purging, Phoenix Phlame, Napalm, Exterreri Fire, Amaterasu, Zirconium, Darvaza Fire, and Goblin Fire! Yes! All the beautiful colors of the rainbow! Nine different copies of me were summoned into existence, each one composed of a different type of fire, ready to go!
Onwards!
I slowly flew down the sewers, my [Brrretiest] clones ducking down little side passages to BURN! Roast the rats! Go forth my minions and exterminate!
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 6 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 50 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!!!
I am fire!
I am death!
Flee little rats, flee! Run for your puny little lives!
There is nowhere to run!
Nowhere to hide!
I instill terror in the hearts of rats!
Down and through I went, tunnel after tunnel, filthy sewer after filthy sewer, purging all with cleansing fire! Notification after notification poured in like the sweet cracking of a log popping! Rats! Mice! Newts! Slimes! All purged before the glory that is FIRE!
[*ding* Elaine’s working hard! We got another level! Make sure to tell her thank you! [Phoenix of the Divine Flame] went from 458 to 459! Celebrate by bringing Elaine a mango!!]
Then!
THEN!
The dread beast himself came forth!
The mighty and powerful [Rat King], two dozen rats tied together at the tail emerged from the foul sludge! He bared his teeth! He hissed! He snapped! The dread concoction scurried forth, clad in darkness, smashing right through one of my [I am the Brrettiest] clones! A second one belched foul green smoke, the third started to fling sludge at me and more and more attacks came!
No! Zirconium! Noooooooooo!
Foul beast! Take this!
All the fire!
[Auri’s Meteor Storm] was supposed to be an open-air attack, but no! Nothing else would do!
GOOO!!!!!
Pure flames carpeted every inch of the sewer, an endless bombardment of flaming meteors raining down upon the [Rat King].
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 245 (Dark)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
…
[*ding!* Oh magnificent Auri, most divine and wonderful of all of the creatures great and small in creation, your bold and daring actions have caused you, and you alone, to slay a fierce and powerful [Rat - level 180 (Miasma)]! Fortune smiles upon you, for what other option does it have?]
Yes, praise me! I am the-
My world went red and white as a massive explosion tore through the sewers.
=================================
Elaine
I sat down heavily next to Iona in a park, dismissing [Greater Invisibility] for the time being. The sun was all the way down, and the moons were just starting to peek over the horizon. Iona handed me a plate of food larger than my head.
“Hey, how’s it going?” She asked me.
“Oh fuck.” I groaned as I dug into the plate, not caring what was there, talking with my mouth full between bites. “You’re the best. How are things going with you?”
“Well-” Iona started to say, only to be interrupted by an explosion.
My neck snapped 180 degrees around towards the source of the noise, a pillar of flames erupting a dozen blocks away. My eyes spotted a tiny multi-colored source at the very top of them, and I was able to hear Auri’s shriek of delight.
“BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!”
I sighed.
“God damnit, Auri.”
[Name: Aoife Auri Stentor]
[Race: Phoenix]
[Age: 6]
[Mana: 2,886/916,070]
[Mana Regen: 860,132]
Stats
[Free Stats: 0]
[Pushing Power: 30]
[Fancy Flying: 16,852]
[Reactions and Reflexes/Twitchiness: 19,410]
[Zippiness: 19,530]
[Kindling: 91,607]
[New Juice: 91,583]
[Flame Size: 80,215]
[Fire Control: 80,107]
[Class 1: [Phoenix of the Divine Flame - Inferno: Lv 459]]
[Inferno Authority: 459]
[Phoenix Rebirth: 5]
[Inferno Manipulation: 459]
[Inferno Conjuration: 459]
[True Flames: 459]
[Burn Magic: 459]
[Domain of Fire: 459]
[Auri's Meteor Storm: 459]
[Class 2: [The Phoenix Everliving - Inferno: Lv 256]]
[See Magic: 256]
[Immolate: 256]
[Everything Burns: 256]
[Clinging Flames: 256]
[Burning Orbs: 256]
[Mage Hand: 256]
[I am the Brrettiest: 256]
[Flame Selection: 256]
[Class 3: [- : Lv ]]
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General Skills
[Phoenix's Perfection: 459]
[Incandescence: 342]
[Adorable: 277]
[Precocious: 263]
[Companion Bond between Auri and Elaine: 459]
[Flying: 368]
[Preening: 227]
[Baking: 304]
