Chapter 10
"Come with me." The female police officer took over from Jake, clutching Tang Shan's arm the way
she would that of a criminal.
Tang Shan was led away, unable to see the way through the sack, and had no idea of where he was
heading.
Once they arrived at a certain point, they stopped. This place seemed to be the heart of the plaza,
and he could hear the piercing laughter from the ceramic dolls surrounding him from all directions.
While waiting, the female patrol officer spoke up, asking in a low voice, "There's something I'm
rather curious about. Do you still love Mr Li?"
Tang Shan was perplexed.
The female officer did not get her answer.
The ceramic dolls' laughter stopped, and Tang Shan was pushed along by the officer and made to
stand still when they reached a certain place. At this point, his hands had been bound.Hearing the
sounds of struggle from around him, he occasionally pretended to protest and move.
He was then led to sit on a chair, where his arms and legs were tied to it. The moment he was truly
immobile, he was able to feel terror.
It wasgoing to end.
"Mmmmmnnnnmm—"
A sharp scream from a female voice sounded from beside him, muted by the sack on her head. It
was a dull sound coming from his left and probably belonged to the female soldier. Were they also
covered by a sack like he was? That had to be the case, or else it would be much too obvious if he
was the only one in this situation.
He could feel his heart rate speeding up, but he was unable to tell if this was fear or the excitement
of finally being able to end this all. Even breathing was becoming a difficult task.
"Verdict."
Li Yuanyu's voice was practically swallowed up by the violent winds around them.
"You, who have damaged the infrastructure of the town, are guilty."
A sharp, blazing heat emerged within his body and in his flesh, paining Tang Shan so much that he
could only vigorously contort his body. This was an instinctual struggle.
He wanted to shout, but no sound could be made despite his opening his mouth wide.
"Guilty."
Tang Shan could not feel his toes, the soles of his feethe
knew he was gradually disappearing.
It was going to end.
In this moment, he somehow thought of Li Yuanyu, remembering the great times they had had
together. It was not of anyone else; not his family nor his fiancée,Jenny, but Li Yuanyu.
Li Yuanyu, who had embraced him, who had whispered humorous sweet nothings into his ear, who
had not even gotten mad at him for teasing him about reading too many romance novels. He had
drowned in Li Yuanyu's light kisses that held within boundless love.
Li Yuanyu, who had taken him by the hand andexplored the area, the two of them looking for new
routes in the town without a destination.They were close like friends as much as lovers.
Li Yuanyu.
Graceful, gentle Li Yuanyu.
Do you still love Mr Li?
Yes, he still loved Li Yuanyu, but it was impossible to stay by his side any longer.
Something
was off.
Li Yuanyu stared at the soldier seated in the middle, instinctively sensing something fishy. That
person had not made a sound at all, despite the excruciating pain that should have come from
having moonlight shone on them.
"Who is that?" Li Yuanyu questioned the female soldier who had led the person there, pointing
towards the middle.
The female officer was frozen, too afraid to even move. Her role in this was immediately exposed.
Damn it!
Li Yuanyu instantly realized andrushed towards the moonlight. He removed the cloak he had on,
shielded Tang Shan with it, and undid the ropes. The chair could not be moved when under the
moonlight, and the only way to escape was by untying the ropes. Li Yuanyu could not help but
curse, similarly having to endure the burning from the moonlight on his body.
"Mmmnnmmm—" Tang Shan struggled as he cried out mournfully. He did not want to be saved.
"Shut up! Damn it!" Li Yuanyu loosened the ropes onTang Shan's hands and went on to release
those on his legs.
Tang Shan pushed against Li Yuanyu, but was unable to push him away. He was disappearing and
had lost much of his strength. Even raising his hand was nearly impossible.
With the ropes on the man’s legs gone, Li Yuanyu forcefully pushed him aside and pounced on him.
He removed the sack over Tang Shan's head and slapped him multiple times.
Tang Shan’s head began to spin and he fell to one side. He saw that the other soldiers who had
been seated in the chairs had already turned to ashes, which meant that he had been that close– at
this point, he could not help but begin to cry.
Li Yuanyu watched him cry and gradually calmed down. Hegot off of Tang Shan, grabbedhim by the
hair anddragged him away.
Tang Shan cried while he tried to strike at the hand that was holding him, attempting to scratch Li
Yuanyu but to no avail. He was dragged all the way back to Li Yuanyu's villa.
"Li Yuanyu!" Jake caught up to them and tried to persuade him, "Let him go! You know that will be
the best for everyone!"
"For who? You? Me? Him?"
"For the whole town!" Jake was resolute. Heavens knew the amount of courage he needed to stand
before Li Yuanyu and go against him, but"
Stand down, Jake. This is a family matter. Don't interfere."
"No! Tang ShanTang
Shan is my friend!"
"Jake, don't push me." Li Yuanyu threatened coldly.
Jake suddenly roared and charged towards Li Yuanyu, trying to force Li Yuanyu away.
However, Li Yuanyu merely raised his hand and pushed Jake towards the side, and as if struck by
an immense force, Jake crashed into a fire hydrant that actually cracked on impact, causing water
to spout.
"Jake!" Tang Shan cried out, wanting to see how Jake was doing but unable to move.
"He’ll live. I'll take care of him once I'm done with you. Let's go." Li Yuanyu continued forward with
Tang Shan in tow.
No, no, no, no!
Tang Shan struggled violently, unable to shift his gaze from the unconscious Jake. He held onto
the red brickpavement tightly, not allowing Li Yuanyu to drag him away. With his other hand, he
grabbed Li Yuanyu's hand as he tried to get Li Yuanyu to loosen the grip on his hair.
Li Yuanyu finally let go, but just when Tang Shan made a bid to crawl towards Jake, his hands were
stepped on.
"Ugh!"
"Where are you going?" Li Yuanyu grabbed hold of him once more.
"Don't touch me!"
He struggled, terrified beyond measure, waving his arms around to prevent Li Yuanyu from coming
closer. All of a sudden, a sharp pain ran through his body, and everything went black. Tang Shan
lost consciousness.
Within
the darkness, he could feel swaying ripples of water surrounding him. He should be safe, but
air gradually disappeared, suffocating him.
Suffocating—
Tang Shan jerked awake and realised he was now forced underwater in a pond, a situation similar to
one he had experienced before. Tang Shan struggled hard, flapping his arms and beating at the
water, using all his strength to grasp at Li Yuanyu's hand.
Li Yuanyu was in tears, looking terribly pitiful.
"Tang Shan, my love, it doesn't hurt at all. You'll forget everything. The good and the bad will all
disappear." Li Yuanyu's words were muffled.
He repeatedly pushed down Tang Shan's face that wanted to emerge from the water, time after time
like a curse.
Tang Shan finally lost the energy to struggle and gradually loosened his hold.
Suffocation.
Li Yuanyu carried powerless, limp Tang Shan in his arms. Despite the knowledge that the man could
not hear anything, Li Yuanyu constantly repeated– TangShan, I love you. I'm sorry.
He killed his lover, and then created another Tang Shan that loved him.
This way, Tang Shan would completely belong to him.
However, he also realised that this would no longer be the Tang Shan he had loved.
What should he do? What should he do? What should he do to regain Tang Shan's love for him?
Li Yuanyu cried pitifully, heartwrenchingly.
Meanwhile, time ticked by, never turning back.
He
seemed to have slept for a long time, as if a whole lifetime had passed. He sat up, joints
throbbing all over.
Groaning, he sat up and looked around, unsure of his surroundings.
He tried to recall something, but his mind was blank.
Who was he? Why was he here? Where was this place?
Besides the bed, there was nothing at all in the room, which did not help matters at all. He opened
the door and walked out of the room. The aroma of Broschtwas in the air.
Following the smell, he went downstairs and found the kitchen. In there was a blackhaired
man with
pale skin, thin and slender, who had his back to him, busy at work.
For some reason, his emotions fluctuated at the sight of the man, and he could not tell what exactly
this feeling was.
The man noticed him and gave him a look before turning back to his work. Not long after, he spoke.
"Tang Shan, come here and taste this for me."
Tang Shan? Was that his name? Why was it so foreign? He had no recollection of it at all.
Tang Shan hesitated and found that the man did not make another sound after a long while. Full of
uncertainty and confusion, he slowly proceeded towards him.
The man's back was still turned as he took a little dish and scooped some soup for him.
Tang Shan finally saw the man’s face. His features were etched deeply, looking even more delicate
than those of a woman. Based on just those features, it was difficult to even tell his gender.
Such a beautiful person sent a smile his way.
Tang Shan was slightly dumb.
"Come on, taste this for me." The man raised the dish, urging him on.
Tang Shan came back to himself and was immediately embarrassed. How could he get so
distracted by this man's looks alone? He quickly took the dish, the soup still steaming.
"Careful." The man sounded very gentle, arousing something vaguely familiar.
A dumb Tang Shan drank the Borscht from the dish.
"How is it?"
The sweetsour
flavour of the soup spread in his mouth. He wanted to revel in this taste for a while
longer before answering properly.
"How's the taste?" The man asked urgently for the second time.
Tang Shan answered honestly, "Soso.
Something seems to be missing."
"Should I add some salt?"
Tang Shan shook his head. It was salty enoughbut lacked a certain flavour. He thought about it
carefully. What could be missing?
"Oh! Onion! You forgot the onion."
"Right, I almost forgot about them! Thanks, darling!" The man seemed to realise what was wrong
and hugged him emotionally. He left a kiss on Tang Shan's lips and released him before continuing
to cook. The movements were all so smooth, so fast, so natural, that this seemed to be a regular
occurrence.
He glanced at the man working hard, complicated emotions welling inside him. For some time, he
was in a daze, unable to say a word.
"Tang Shan, help me set the table," the man spoke.
Tang Shan consented. He had no idea where anything was located, but his hands opened the
cupboards and found the tableware easily. His body remembered everything, and yet he had no
memories at all. What was going on? He was holding a plate and suddenly zoned out.
"What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" Noticing the strange behaviour, the man enquired
worriedly.
Tang Shan shook his head and looked at the man, who was similarly gazing at him. Their eyes met.
"Who are you? Who am I?" He asked, full of questions.
"I am Li Yuanyu, the lover of you, Joseph Tang Shan. We're a couple. Did you lose your memory
again, Tang Shan?" Li Yuanyu explained, eyes full of pity. He extended his hand attempting at
touching Tang Shan's head.
Tang Shan backed away unknowingly.
"Do I lose my memory often?"
"Yes."
"We really are lovers?"
"Yes. Lovers, till the end of time."
"But you're a man." He furrowed his brows.
"You're a man too."
"That's the problem. I don't think I'm gay, and I don't think I would fall in love with a man."
"Honestly speaking, I didn't think I was gay either, but you changed me, just as I changed you."
"You're lying– "
"Do I look like I'm lying?"
He could not deny that Li Yuanyu looked earnest, but there were many liars who seemed sincere
and told very convincing lies, luring innocents in. Tang Shan did not let down his guard so easily
and believe whatever the man said.
Li Yuanyu put the ladle down and got closer to Tang Shan. However, as Li Yuanyu approached him,
he shrank back until he hit the fridge.
"What are you doing?"
Li Yuanyu did not speak and merely leant down, a hand around Tang Shan's waist. Taking
advantage of Tang Shan's protests, he kissed Tang Shan and slid his tongue in. The provocative
action, the actual kiss, and the wet, sloppy sounds wereso erotic they left him aroused. Just as
Tang Shan felt as if all the air in his lungs had been sucked out and he was on the verge of
suffocating, Li Yuanyu ended the sentimental kiss.
He nibbled at Tang Shan's lips and cheeks, unwilling to let go so quickly.
"I love you, Tang Shan."
Li Yuanyu laid his head in the crook of Tang Shan's neck, speaking as if he were sighing. His breath
was on Tang Shan's neck, causing his ear to feel itchy as it twitched.
Seeing this, Li Yuanyu let him go.
"What did you think about that kiss?" he asked.
This was a random question for Tang Shan, but when he recalled it in detail,he immediately flushed
red.
"I don't have any special thoughts about it."
"Did you hate it? Tell me honestly."
Tang Shan shook his head.
Li Yuanyu chuckled and continued cooking. His reaction left Tang Shan bewildered and uncertain.
"Did that have anything to do with our initial conversation?"
He asked even though he didn’t remember what they had been discussing.
"Yes. You really felt that kiss, didn't you? That means you love me. That's good enough." Li Yuanyu
answered goodnaturedly,
tone seemingly lighter.
Tang Shan felt as if he had fallen into some trap and retorted, "That only means that you have an
excellent kissing technique."
Li Yuanyu began humming.
After humming a section from one of Elvis Presley's songs, he found Tang Shan still standing on
the same spot, eyes on him in confusion. His smile brightened as he reminded Tang Shan, "Um, do
you want to take care of that by yourself in the bathroom? I want to help you, but—"
Tang Shan looked down towards his crotch, alarmed to find there was a tent there. He awkwardly
pulled at his shirt to hide it and fled to the bathroom， stumbling as he went.
In response, Li Yuanyu laughed heartily.
When Tang Shan appeared once more from the bathroom, he had taken a shower, face red as he
stood at the entrance to the kitchen.
Li Yuanyu was about to serve the foodwhen he noticed him. He then called out, "What are you
standing there in a daze for? Come in!"
It sounded so natural that Tang Shan, who had been standing there a little awkwardly, felt that he
shouldn't be so bashful the way women were. He walked towards the dining table and took a seat
opposite Li Yuanyu.
"Let's eat." Li Yuanyu helped Tang Shan get a portion and beamed at him, watching him closely.
Tang Shan had a few bites, but it was truly difficult to swallow with someone constantly staring at
him. He put down his cutlery.
"What's wrong? Does it taste bad?" Li Yuanyu was immediately concerned.
"No, it’s fine. Thank you. You –Why aren’t you eating?"
"Yes, I'll eat. I just got distracted while watching you eat."
Goodness, how disgusting could this person get?
Tang Shan suddenly looked to the side at an unoccupied seat.
"What's wrong?"
"Uh, nothing. I just—" wanted to catch a few more glimpses of the seat with nobody there. Tang
Shan withdrew his gaze hesitantly, feeling that there should be someone else beside him speaking.
However, he could not remember who it was.
"Let's go take a walk after this meal. I don’t know what you still remember."
Li Yuanyu appeared to be cordial, and Tang Shan nodded without protest.
After eating, Li Yuanyu brought Tang Shan away from the villa, and while leaving, Tang Shan turned
back to glance at the villa and an ill feeling appeared.
"Tang Shan?" Li Yuanyu waited by the door.
Tang Shan turned to leave.
"What were you looking at?"
"Nothing. Don't worry." Tang Shan shook his head, not revealing the feelings that he himself was
unsure of.
"Let's go." Li Yuanyu let him out first before closing the door.
Where were they going? Tang Shan looked around, not feeling any sense of familiarity at all. This
was basically a foreign place to him. He had lost his memory.Usually, a blank slate like him should
be feeling terrified, but he felt none of that. Instead, he was like a child filled with curiosity and
courage.
"Where are we going? There?" Tang Shan excitedly pointed towards the heart of the town.
"No, there's construction work going on. Nobody is allowed there. Let's go that way." Li Yuanyu
pointed in another direction. "My residence at the other side of town."
"You have another residence?"
"Yes. Both of us own it. What's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine."
"Hahahahaha!" Tang Shan burst out in extremely abrupt laughter.
"What are you laughing at?"
"I'm laughing at your words. It's just too unreal. It's like something that's happening in another world,
since I don't have the slightest recollection of this at all."
"Are you afraid?"
"Strangely enough, no. It might be because I don't remember anything, so I don't have any thoughts
at all. There’s nothing to think about anyway. Well, since I'm a 'white' man. Haha, don't you find me
hilarious?"
"No." Li Yuanyu retorted.
"Then you don't have any sense of humour." Tang Shan shrugged and headed in the direction that Li
Yuanyu had pointed out, leaving behind Li Yuanyu, who had a smile on his face as always but
seemed serious.
Li Yuanyu caught up to him and spoke up for himself, "But I do."
It was just that he could not bring himself to laugh at this topic.
Tang Shan turned, noticing him looking vexed. He answered, "You sure know how to tell jokes."
His teasing held within hints of revenge which was in return for the embarrassment from earlier that
made him hang his head in shame.Well, the guy down there had raised its head... Uh, that was not
a good comparison.
"You're not as blank as you think you are. At the very least, you know how to open and close doors,
how to use cutlery, how to walk and how to speak," Li Yuanyu spoke again.
He had not actually taken everything away from Tang Shan. He still felt remorse and didall he could
to save Tang Shan.
"Hm..." Tang Shan listened on, advancing forward. He merely said, "If you're trying to make a joke, I
can only reward you five points out of pity. The total points you can get is a hundred, so I hope you
work harder."
Li Yuanyu forced a smile.
They walked for quite a distance, returning to a wooden house at another end. While Li Yuanyu was
taking a key and opening the door, Tang Shan sat on the floor andstared at the vegetable garden in
the courtyard absentmindedly. It felt like nobody had been taking care of it, and some plants were
growing all over the place, causing him to feel sorry for them.
Afterwards, Li Yuanyu told him that he was the one who had planted the garden.
Li Yuanyu opened the door and let him in. As he walked in, he took the sight in. The colour scheme
of the interior decor was warm, and the air had a faint fragrance that he seemed to be familiar with.
The journey had left Tang Shan slightly thirsty, and he said exactly that to Li Yuanyu, who then
brought him to the kitchen.
Li Yuanyu had him take a seat and turned to pour some water. Seeing Li Yuanyu's back while he
was at work, Tang Shan felt there was something different from what he had seen at the villa.
After passing water to Tang Shan, Li Yuanyu stood at the dining table opposite him, looking as if he
wanted to say something but stopping himself.
"What's wrong?"
"Tang Shan?" Li Yuan hesitated for a while before speaking, "Do you think we should live in the
wooden house, or in the villa? Where do you want to stay?"
"You're asking me?" He had already lost his memories. How would he know which was better? It
didn't matter where they lived, because he was fine with anything!
But...
"If you really want my answer, I prefer this place. It feels more homely." The villa had a dark,
gloomy feeling to it. That might have to do with how large the house was, but he had no idea if that
was the reason. Whatever it was, he didn't really like that place.
Li Yuanyu smiled, apparently having made up his mind.
Though his Tang Shan could no longer remember the past, he had chosen the place where they had
made the most happy memories.
Could this mean that he was still Tang Shan?
Li Yuanyu's smile was filled with bitterness that could not be eased.
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Chapter 10
"Come with me." The female police officer took over from Jake, clutching Tang Shan's arm the way
she would that of a criminal.
Tang Shan was led away, unable to see the way through the sack, and had no idea of where he was
heading.
Once they arrived at a certain point, they stopped. This place seemed to be the heart of the plaza,
and he could hear the piercing laughter from the ceramic dolls surrounding him from all directions.
While waiting, the female patrol officer spoke up, asking in a low voice, "There's something I'm
rather curious about. Do you still love Mr Li?"
Tang Shan was perplexed.
The female officer did not get her answer.
The ceramic dolls' laughter stopped, and Tang Shan was pushed along by the officer and made to
stand still when they reached a certain place. At this point, his hands had been bound.Hearing the
sounds of struggle from around him, he occasionally pretended to protest and move.
He was then led to sit on a chair, where his arms and legs were tied to it. The moment he was truly
immobile, he was able to feel terror.
It wasgoing to end.
"Mmmmmnnnnmm—"
A sharp scream from a female voice sounded from beside him, muted by the sack on her head. It
was a dull sound coming from his left and probably belonged to the female soldier. Were they also
covered by a sack like he was? That had to be the case, or else it would be much too obvious if he
was the only one in this situation.
He could feel his heart rate speeding up, but he was unable to tell if this was fear or the excitement
of finally being able to end this all. Even breathing was becoming a difficult task.
"Verdict."
Li Yuanyu's voice was practically swallowed up by the violent winds around them.
"You, who have damaged the infrastructure of the town, are guilty."
A sharp, blazing heat emerged within his body and in his flesh, paining Tang Shan so much that he
could only vigorously contort his body. This was an instinctual struggle.
He wanted to shout, but no sound could be made despite his opening his mouth wide.
"Guilty."
Tang Shan could not feel his toes, the soles of his feethe
knew he was gradually disappearing.
It was going to end.
In this moment, he somehow thought of Li Yuanyu, remembering the great times they had had
together. It was not of anyone else; not his family nor his fiancée,Jenny, but Li Yuanyu.
Li Yuanyu, who had embraced him, who had whispered humorous sweet nothings into his ear, who
had not even gotten mad at him for teasing him about reading too many romance novels. He had
drowned in Li Yuanyu's light kisses that held within boundless love.
Li Yuanyu, who had taken him by the hand andexplored the area, the two of them looking for new
routes in the town without a destination.They were close like friends as much as lovers.
Li Yuanyu.
Graceful, gentle Li Yuanyu.
Do you still love Mr Li?
Yes, he still loved Li Yuanyu, but it was impossible to stay by his side any longer.
Something
was off.
Li Yuanyu stared at the soldier seated in the middle, instinctively sensing something fishy. That
person had not made a sound at all, despite the excruciating pain that should have come from
having moonlight shone on them.
"Who is that?" Li Yuanyu questioned the female soldier who had led the person there, pointing
towards the middle.
The female officer was frozen, too afraid to even move. Her role in this was immediately exposed.
Damn it!
Li Yuanyu instantly realized andrushed towards the moonlight. He removed the cloak he had on,
shielded Tang Shan with it, and undid the ropes. The chair could not be moved when under the
moonlight, and the only way to escape was by untying the ropes. Li Yuanyu could not help but
curse, similarly having to endure the burning from the moonlight on his body.
"Mmmnnmmm—" Tang Shan struggled as he cried out mournfully. He did not want to be saved.
"Shut up! Damn it!" Li Yuanyu loosened the ropes onTang Shan's hands and went on to release
those on his legs.
Tang Shan pushed against Li Yuanyu, but was unable to push him away. He was disappearing and
had lost much of his strength. Even raising his hand was nearly impossible.
With the ropes on the man’s legs gone, Li Yuanyu forcefully pushed him aside and pounced on him.
He removed the sack over Tang Shan's head and slapped him multiple times.
Tang Shan’s head began to spin and he fell to one side. He saw that the other soldiers who had
been seated in the chairs had already turned to ashes, which meant that he had been that close– at
this point, he could not help but begin to cry.
Li Yuanyu watched him cry and gradually calmed down. Hegot off of Tang Shan, grabbedhim by the
hair anddragged him away.
Tang Shan cried while he tried to strike at the hand that was holding him, attempting to scratch Li
Yuanyu but to no avail. He was dragged all the way back to Li Yuanyu's villa.
"Li Yuanyu!" Jake caught up to them and tried to persuade him, "Let him go! You know that will be
the best for everyone!"
"For who? You? Me? Him?"
"For the whole town!" Jake was resolute. Heavens knew the amount of courage he needed to stand
before Li Yuanyu and go against him, but"
Stand down, Jake. This is a family matter. Don't interfere."
"No! Tang ShanTang
Shan is my friend!"
"Jake, don't push me." Li Yuanyu threatened coldly.
Jake suddenly roared and charged towards Li Yuanyu, trying to force Li Yuanyu away.
However, Li Yuanyu merely raised his hand and pushed Jake towards the side, and as if struck by
an immense force, Jake crashed into a fire hydrant that actually cracked on impact, causing water
to spout.
"Jake!" Tang Shan cried out, wanting to see how Jake was doing but unable to move.
"He’ll live. I'll take care of him once I'm done with you. Let's go." Li Yuanyu continued forward with
Tang Shan in tow.
No, no, no, no!
Tang Shan struggled violently, unable to shift his gaze from the unconscious Jake. He held onto
the red brickpavement tightly, not allowing Li Yuanyu to drag him away. With his other hand, he
grabbed Li Yuanyu's hand as he tried to get Li Yuanyu to loosen the grip on his hair.
Li Yuanyu finally let go, but just when Tang Shan made a bid to crawl towards Jake, his hands were
stepped on.
"Ugh!"
"Where are you going?" Li Yuanyu grabbed hold of him once more.
"Don't touch me!"
He struggled, terrified beyond measure, waving his arms around to prevent Li Yuanyu from coming
closer. All of a sudden, a sharp pain ran through his body, and everything went black. Tang Shan
lost consciousness.
Within
the darkness, he could feel swaying ripples of water surrounding him. He should be safe, but
air gradually disappeared, suffocating him.
Suffocating—
Tang Shan jerked awake and realised he was now forced underwater in a pond, a situation similar to
one he had experienced before. Tang Shan struggled hard, flapping his arms and beating at the
water, using all his strength to grasp at Li Yuanyu's hand.
Li Yuanyu was in tears, looking terribly pitiful.
"Tang Shan, my love, it doesn't hurt at all. You'll forget everything. The good and the bad will all
disappear." Li Yuanyu's words were muffled.
He repeatedly pushed down Tang Shan's face that wanted to emerge from the water, time after time
like a curse.
Tang Shan finally lost the energy to struggle and gradually loosened his hold.
Suffocation.
Li Yuanyu carried powerless, limp Tang Shan in his arms. Despite the knowledge that the man could
not hear anything, Li Yuanyu constantly repeated– TangShan, I love you. I'm sorry.
He killed his lover, and then created another Tang Shan that loved him.
This way, Tang Shan would completely belong to him.
However, he also realised that this would no longer be the Tang Shan he had loved.
What should he do? What should he do? What should he do to regain Tang Shan's love for him?
Li Yuanyu cried pitifully, heartwrenchingly.
Meanwhile, time ticked by, never turning back.
He
seemed to have slept for a long time, as if a whole lifetime had passed. He sat up, joints
throbbing all over.
Groaning, he sat up and looked around, unsure of his surroundings.
He tried to recall something, but his mind was blank.
Who was he? Why was he here? Where was this place?
Besides the bed, there was nothing at all in the room, which did not help matters at all. He opened
the door and walked out of the room. The aroma of Broschtwas in the air.
Following the smell, he went downstairs and found the kitchen. In there was a blackhaired
man with
pale skin, thin and slender, who had his back to him, busy at work.
For some reason, his emotions fluctuated at the sight of the man, and he could not tell what exactly
this feeling was.
The man noticed him and gave him a look before turning back to his work. Not long after, he spoke.
"Tang Shan, come here and taste this for me."
Tang Shan? Was that his name? Why was it so foreign? He had no recollection of it at all.
Tang Shan hesitated and found that the man did not make another sound after a long while. Full of
uncertainty and confusion, he slowly proceeded towards him.
The man's back was still turned as he took a little dish and scooped some soup for him.
Tang Shan finally saw the man’s face. His features were etched deeply, looking even more delicate
than those of a woman. Based on just those features, it was difficult to even tell his gender.
Such a beautiful person sent a smile his way.
Tang Shan was slightly dumb.
"Come on, taste this for me." The man raised the dish, urging him on.
Tang Shan came back to himself and was immediately embarrassed. How could he get so
distracted by this man's looks alone? He quickly took the dish, the soup still steaming.
"Careful." The man sounded very gentle, arousing something vaguely familiar.
A dumb Tang Shan drank the Borscht from the dish.
"How is it?"
The sweetsour
flavour of the soup spread in his mouth. He wanted to revel in this taste for a while
longer before answering properly.
"How's the taste?" The man asked urgently for the second time.
Tang Shan answered honestly, "Soso.
Something seems to be missing."
"Should I add some salt?"
Tang Shan shook his head. It was salty enoughbut lacked a certain flavour. He thought about it
carefully. What could be missing?
"Oh! Onion! You forgot the onion."
"Right, I almost forgot about them! Thanks, darling!" The man seemed to realise what was wrong
and hugged him emotionally. He left a kiss on Tang Shan's lips and released him before continuing
to cook. The movements were all so smooth, so fast, so natural, that this seemed to be a regular
occurrence.
He glanced at the man working hard, complicated emotions welling inside him. For some time, he
was in a daze, unable to say a word.
"Tang Shan, help me set the table," the man spoke.
Tang Shan consented. He had no idea where anything was located, but his hands opened the
cupboards and found the tableware easily. His body remembered everything, and yet he had no
memories at all. What was going on? He was holding a plate and suddenly zoned out.
"What's wrong? Are you not feeling well?" Noticing the strange behaviour, the man enquired
worriedly.
Tang Shan shook his head and looked at the man, who was similarly gazing at him. Their eyes met.
"Who are you? Who am I?" He asked, full of questions.
"I am Li Yuanyu, the lover of you, Joseph Tang Shan. We're a couple. Did you lose your memory
again, Tang Shan?" Li Yuanyu explained, eyes full of pity. He extended his hand attempting at
touching Tang Shan's head.
Tang Shan backed away unknowingly.
"Do I lose my memory often?"
"Yes."
"We really are lovers?"
"Yes. Lovers, till the end of time."
"But you're a man." He furrowed his brows.
"You're a man too."
"That's the problem. I don't think I'm gay, and I don't think I would fall in love with a man."
"Honestly speaking, I didn't think I was gay either, but you changed me, just as I changed you."
"You're lying– "
"Do I look like I'm lying?"
He could not deny that Li Yuanyu looked earnest, but there were many liars who seemed sincere
and told very convincing lies, luring innocents in. Tang Shan did not let down his guard so easily
and believe whatever the man said.
Li Yuanyu put the ladle down and got closer to Tang Shan. However, as Li Yuanyu approached him,
he shrank back until he hit the fridge.
"What are you doing?"
Li Yuanyu did not speak and merely leant down, a hand around Tang Shan's waist. Taking
advantage of Tang Shan's protests, he kissed Tang Shan and slid his tongue in. The provocative
action, the actual kiss, and the wet, sloppy sounds wereso erotic they left him aroused. Just as
Tang Shan felt as if all the air in his lungs had been sucked out and he was on the verge of
suffocating, Li Yuanyu ended the sentimental kiss.
He nibbled at Tang Shan's lips and cheeks, unwilling to let go so quickly.
"I love you, Tang Shan."
Li Yuanyu laid his head in the crook of Tang Shan's neck, speaking as if he were sighing. His breath
was on Tang Shan's neck, causing his ear to feel itchy as it twitched.
Seeing this, Li Yuanyu let him go.
"What did you think about that kiss?" he asked.
This was a random question for Tang Shan, but when he recalled it in detail,he immediately flushed
red.
"I don't have any special thoughts about it."
"Did you hate it? Tell me honestly."
Tang Shan shook his head.
Li Yuanyu chuckled and continued cooking. His reaction left Tang Shan bewildered and uncertain.
"Did that have anything to do with our initial conversation?"
He asked even though he didn’t remember what they had been discussing.
"Yes. You really felt that kiss, didn't you? That means you love me. That's good enough." Li Yuanyu
answered goodnaturedly,
tone seemingly lighter.
Tang Shan felt as if he had fallen into some trap and retorted, "That only means that you have an
excellent kissing technique."
Li Yuanyu began humming.
After humming a section from one of Elvis Presley's songs, he found Tang Shan still standing on
the same spot, eyes on him in confusion. His smile brightened as he reminded Tang Shan, "Um, do
you want to take care of that by yourself in the bathroom? I want to help you, but—"
Tang Shan looked down towards his crotch, alarmed to find there was a tent there. He awkwardly
pulled at his shirt to hide it and fled to the bathroom， stumbling as he went.
In response, Li Yuanyu laughed heartily.
When Tang Shan appeared once more from the bathroom, he had taken a shower, face red as he
stood at the entrance to the kitchen.
Li Yuanyu was about to serve the foodwhen he noticed him. He then called out, "What are you
standing there in a daze for? Come in!"
It sounded so natural that Tang Shan, who had been standing there a little awkwardly, felt that he
shouldn't be so bashful the way women were. He walked towards the dining table and took a seat
opposite Li Yuanyu.
"Let's eat." Li Yuanyu helped Tang Shan get a portion and beamed at him, watching him closely.
Tang Shan had a few bites, but it was truly difficult to swallow with someone constantly staring at
him. He put down his cutlery.
"What's wrong? Does it taste bad?" Li Yuanyu was immediately concerned.
"No, it’s fine. Thank you. You –Why aren’t you eating?"
"Yes, I'll eat. I just got distracted while watching you eat."
Goodness, how disgusting could this person get?
Tang Shan suddenly looked to the side at an unoccupied seat.
"What's wrong?"
"Uh, nothing. I just—" wanted to catch a few more glimpses of the seat with nobody there. Tang
Shan withdrew his gaze hesitantly, feeling that there should be someone else beside him speaking.
However, he could not remember who it was.
"Let's go take a walk after this meal. I don’t know what you still remember."
Li Yuanyu appeared to be cordial, and Tang Shan nodded without protest.
After eating, Li Yuanyu brought Tang Shan away from the villa, and while leaving, Tang Shan turned
back to glance at the villa and an ill feeling appeared.
"Tang Shan?" Li Yuanyu waited by the door.
Tang Shan turned to leave.
"What were you looking at?"
"Nothing. Don't worry." Tang Shan shook his head, not revealing the feelings that he himself was
unsure of.
"Let's go." Li Yuanyu let him out first before closing the door.
Where were they going? Tang Shan looked around, not feeling any sense of familiarity at all. This
was basically a foreign place to him. He had lost his memory.Usually, a blank slate like him should
be feeling terrified, but he felt none of that. Instead, he was like a child filled with curiosity and
courage.
"Where are we going? There?" Tang Shan excitedly pointed towards the heart of the town.
"No, there's construction work going on. Nobody is allowed there. Let's go that way." Li Yuanyu
pointed in another direction. "My residence at the other side of town."
"You have another residence?"
"Yes. Both of us own it. What's mine is yours, and what's yours is mine."
"Hahahahaha!" Tang Shan burst out in extremely abrupt laughter.
"What are you laughing at?"
"I'm laughing at your words. It's just too unreal. It's like something that's happening in another world,
since I don't have the slightest recollection of this at all."
"Are you afraid?"
"Strangely enough, no. It might be because I don't remember anything, so I don't have any thoughts
at all. There’s nothing to think about anyway. Well, since I'm a 'white' man. Haha, don't you find me
hilarious?"
"No." Li Yuanyu retorted.
"Then you don't have any sense of humour." Tang Shan shrugged and headed in the direction that Li
Yuanyu had pointed out, leaving behind Li Yuanyu, who had a smile on his face as always but
seemed serious.
Li Yuanyu caught up to him and spoke up for himself, "But I do."
It was just that he could not bring himself to laugh at this topic.
Tang Shan turned, noticing him looking vexed. He answered, "You sure know how to tell jokes."
His teasing held within hints of revenge which was in return for the embarrassment from earlier that
made him hang his head in shame.Well, the guy down there had raised its head... Uh, that was not
a good comparison.
"You're not as blank as you think you are. At the very least, you know how to open and close doors,
how to use cutlery, how to walk and how to speak," Li Yuanyu spoke again.
He had not actually taken everything away from Tang Shan. He still felt remorse and didall he could
to save Tang Shan.
"Hm..." Tang Shan listened on, advancing forward. He merely said, "If you're trying to make a joke, I
can only reward you five points out of pity. The total points you can get is a hundred, so I hope you
work harder."
Li Yuanyu forced a smile.
They walked for quite a distance, returning to a wooden house at another end. While Li Yuanyu was
taking a key and opening the door, Tang Shan sat on the floor andstared at the vegetable garden in
the courtyard absentmindedly. It felt like nobody had been taking care of it, and some plants were
growing all over the place, causing him to feel sorry for them.
Afterwards, Li Yuanyu told him that he was the one who had planted the garden.
Li Yuanyu opened the door and let him in. As he walked in, he took the sight in. The colour scheme
of the interior decor was warm, and the air had a faint fragrance that he seemed to be familiar with.
The journey had left Tang Shan slightly thirsty, and he said exactly that to Li Yuanyu, who then
brought him to the kitchen.
Li Yuanyu had him take a seat and turned to pour some water. Seeing Li Yuanyu's back while he
was at work, Tang Shan felt there was something different from what he had seen at the villa.
After passing water to Tang Shan, Li Yuanyu stood at the dining table opposite him, looking as if he
wanted to say something but stopping himself.
"What's wrong?"
"Tang Shan?" Li Yuan hesitated for a while before speaking, "Do you think we should live in the
wooden house, or in the villa? Where do you want to stay?"
"You're asking me?" He had already lost his memories. How would he know which was better? It
didn't matter where they lived, because he was fine with anything!
But...
"If you really want my answer, I prefer this place. It feels more homely." The villa had a dark,
gloomy feeling to it. That might have to do with how large the house was, but he had no idea if that
was the reason. Whatever it was, he didn't really like that place.
Li Yuanyu smiled, apparently having made up his mind.
Though his Tang Shan could no longer remember the past, he had chosen the place where they had
made the most happy memories.
Could this mean that he was still Tang Shan?
Li Yuanyu's smile was filled with bitterness that could not be eased.
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