When Nyarlathotep said these words, the air in the entire tomb seemed to fall below freezing.
Maybe the fire wasn’t burning hot enough for some people. Shub, who had his hands in his pockets, turned around. His scarlet eyes narrowed, as if liquid blood were flowing inside them.
“If it’s mating we’re talking about, I’m the best candidate, Father God.” The expression of the Black Goat with a Thousand Young was unreadable. He drawled out his words deliberately, with unspeakable allure. “No matter the position, no matter the technique, I’ll give you an experience no one can surpass.”
With that he extended his tongue and licked his lips suggestively, revealing an unambiguously depraved, lascivious smile. “After all… I am the god in charge of reproduction.”
Zong Yan: “…”
His face was impassive, but he didn’t say a word to the two evil gods.
While in the form of Azathoth, Zong Yan’s laziness was formidable. He rarely spoke unless it was absolutely necessary.
All they’d said was a few words. Zong Yan wasn’t bothered.
Besides, right now Nyarlathotep was wearing the face of a cute little girl. Somewhat unexpectedly, Zong Yan had a lot of tolerance for this face.
But even if Zong Yan didn’t take action, Yog-Sothoth’s patience was at an end.
The white-robed evil god suddenly turned his head. His face wore a transparently fake smile.
“Didn’t all that frigid water from the Ice Age properly clean out your brain last time? Nyarlathotep.”
The Lord of the Gate walked over to Zong Yan and gently took his hand. He interlocked their fingers, but his golden eyes seemed to be frozen solid.
“Ohhhh, don’t be so sensitive.” The doctor in the white coat smiled, and a reflection gleamed on his lenses. “We don’t have the emotions that inferior creatures do, like possessiveness.
“Did the Father God make changes to you? Did he do any other alterations? My gege?”
Nyarlathotep was belligerent, but he didn’t mean anything special by this. He just wanted to disgust Yog and demonstrate his loyalty to the Father God. If the Lord of the Gate tried to beat him up, Nyarla was wearing his little girl avatar.
The Father God still retained many human feelings. Although it was subtle, the God of a Thousand Faces was a skilled reader of emotions and hadn’t missed a thing. As long as he could use those emotions to benefit himself, Nyarlathotep would make every possible use of them.
The little girl in the puffy princess dress gave Zong Yan a sweet smile. The shadows behind her began to extend and stretch out frantically towards the Lord of the Gate, who was rolling his eyes.
Heh.
Yog sneered inwardly, swept him an icy glance, and didn’t reply.
They’d already reached the end of the tomb’s central passage.
The inside of the tomb was completely dark. Of course, no one present actually needed light to see.
The ground was covered with a layer of human bones, fresh as well as old. Every few steps, another mechanism would suddenly activate behind the walls.
Ding ding ding—poisonous needles shot from a seam, only to be blocked by unspeakable shadows.
The tomb contained no oxygen. As they went further, deadly poison infiltrated the atmosphere. The five evil gods strolled along, trampling the bones of corpses, until they reached the second gate.
At that moment a change suddenly occurred.
Just after Zong Yan stepped through the tomb gate, the scene around him shifted. The Lord of the Gate swayed and everything changed. The little girl, the doctor, and the international superstar were gone.
“This tomb has been abandoned for thousands of years. So much time has passed there’s nothing left to see.” When he saw Zong Yan’s puzzled expression, Yog patiently explained, “Since you’re here to take a look, we should travel to the most glorious era of its history.”
As the Lord of the Gate spoke, the dark, deep tomb passage suddenly vanished. They were now standing on a pathway bathed in sunlight.
Yog took Zong Yan by the hand, just like an ordinary couple. Together they emerged from the tomb. They stood at the entrance and gazed out from high above.
They were now standing on the topmost level of the pyramid, clasping each other’s hands.
A fiery red sun rose slowly from the horizon, casting its light on this wondrous land.
An army of slaves carried stones on their backs, bringing them to constructed water channels. With the buoyancy of water they transported huge stone blocks from outlying areas to the Valley of the Kings.
Overseers stood to the side with long whips. The slaves didn’t dare take a moment of rest beneath the scorching sun. They wedged the simplest possible gears under the stone blocks, making it possible to stack them according to the designer’s plan.
“The city is over there,” the Lord of the Gate patiently explained to his beloved. “In fact, there are many, many intelligent species in the universe. Compared to other races, humans lack an impressive history or level of development, nor are they especially gifted. In fact, humans can only be ranked at the bottom.
“Even so, many evil gods prefer this planet.”
Countless Great Old Ones had been sealed on Earth. This world had also produced more Elder Gods than most other planets with intelligent life.
Not only that, Outer Gods with nothing better to do frequently came to Earth, looking for an early release from their imprisonment. The most famous of them, Nyarlathotep, a repeat offender, enjoyed spending his days wandering among humans.
“Yes, I like this planet, too,” Zong Yan said.
The sunlight from afar fell lightly on the evil god’s inhuman eyes, which were full of chaotic colors, creating a pearlescent glow.
The Lord of the Gate smiled and said nothing.
Of course he knew Zong Yan liked this planet.
After all, his beloved was born on this blue planet and spent years here as a human. During that time, he’d experienced many things, which had driven him to swim against the current and become the Lord of the Universe.
In the distance, a glorious dynasty ruled over the land. The cities of Memphis and Thebes bustled with people.
Near the horizon, a vast and lofty temple was surrounded by shrubs planted by ancient Egyptians. From a distance, it looked like a forest temple rising out of the desert.
This was ancient Egypt, thousands of years in the past.
Ancient Egypt had always been one of the most mysterious cultures in the world.
Not just their complicated and obscure hieroglyphics, but the huge pyramids they left behind and mysterious customs of all kinds. All these things had attracted generations of people to visit and explore their millennia-old country.
And now all this was laid out before Zong Yan.
The Lord of Time and Space took Zong Yan through the torrent of time, allowing him to witness these miracles first hand.
Zong Yan suddenly changed back to human form.
“It’s beautiful. I like it a lot.”
The young man’s face, which had been indifferent, suddenly became vivid. His cheeks flushed pale pink, and his black eyes were shining.
Zong Yan didn’t dislike the shell of Azathoth, but he saw too much as the Lord of the Universe. Also, when he was under the influence of blind idiocy, his experience of “emotion” came several beats slower than normal.
Besides, where did Outer God get emotions?
That was why, in order to better experience all of this, Zong Yan decided to change back to human form.
Compared with being the Lord of the Universe, he preferred what he felt as an ordinary human.
“It’s good that you like it.”
Yog looked down and gently rubbed the black-haired young man’s head. He pulled his lover closer, and they exchanged a long kiss.
After familiarizing himself with such books as 《How to Raise Your Human》 and 《The Complete Book of Human Behavior》, the Lord of the Gate was enthusiastic about expressing his love to his Little Majesty like a human would. And with his superior abilities as an all-knowing, all-seeing god, he quickly got up to speed.
At their feet, a pair of black shadows intertwined. The ambiguous shapes hinted at dangerous mysteries, yet they were strangely, eternally, compatible.
—
Incidentally, when the Lord of the Gate brought Zong Yan thousands of years in the past to ancient Egypt, he also tossed Nyarlathotep and Shub-Niggurath back to the Ice Age.
Of course, it was useless to complain about such a thing. Nyarla knew the Father God would support Yog. In the Father’s eyes, Yog’s status was higher than his own. And if Nyarla tried to snitch, the Lord of the Gate might badmouth him in private.
Out of all the many Outer Gods, the one nobody wanted to provoke was Yog-Sothoth.
He was the Lord of Time and Space, all-seeing and all-knowing. He knew every side of every feud. Displease him and he might fling you into another dimension for a round of solo travel. Getting revenge for such a thing was irrelevant to Shub and Nyarla, but it would definitely be annoying if it happened a lot.
So the plan for the five member team to explore the Black Pharaoh’s pyramid and complete the S-level task came to a sudden halt.
The Lord of the Gate took his Little Majesty a few thousand years in the past to have some fun. Along the way they watched famous historical scenes, successfully converting a group business trip into a romantic honeymoon.
Of course, Zong Yan hadn’t forgotten about the S-level mission. After they returned from the past, he dragged Yog back to the pyramid of the Black Pharaoh. What they found there left him speechless.
Indeed, the pyramid of the Black Pharaoh didn’t contain piles of treasure like later generations might imagine, nor were there any historical secrets, or the coffin of the Black Pharaoh, or anything at all.
Nyarlathotep was just that bad. The more people wanted something, the more he stomped on their aching feet.
Imagine how agonizing it would be to pass all five levels of the tomb, past rows of concealed traps, losing your fellow explorers along the way, until you finally reached the main chamber of the pyramid.
But there was nothing inside the main chamber. It was empty. All that could be seen was a sign erected by Nyarlathotep written in English: “Surprise—!”
What manner of horror was this?
Thousands of years ago, the builder of the tomb predicted that future generations would reach this chamber, so while setting up the final mechanism he left a big surprise.
After being viewed by human eyes for a certain amount of time, the sign would disintegrate automatically, leaving nothing behind.
Pure chaos. Inside the ancient pyramid of the Black Pharaoh, Nyarlathotep, the God of a Thousand Faces, left humanity the best gift he could imagine.
Zong Yan’s face was expressionless. He wanted to punch Nyarlathotep.
He pranked his own dad, that unfilial son.
TL Notes:
Surprise – This word was in English
prank – 坑人 – pit, pitfall, entrap, ensnare
Transliterated names, titles, and places—new in this chapter:
Memphis – 孟菲斯
Thebes – 底比斯
[ Project Page | Ko-Fi ✿ | Other translations by Confectioner ]
When Nyarlathotep said these words, the air in the entire tomb seemed to fall below freezing.
Maybe the fire wasn’t burning hot enough for some people. Shub, who had his hands in his pockets, turned around. His scarlet eyes narrowed, as if liquid blood were flowing inside them.
“If it’s mating we’re talking about, I’m the best candidate, Father God.” The expression of the Black Goat with a Thousand Young was unreadable. He drawled out his words deliberately, with unspeakable allure. “No matter the position, no matter the technique, I’ll give you an experience no one can surpass.”
With that he extended his tongue and licked his lips suggestively, revealing an unambiguously depraved, lascivious smile. “After all… I am the god in charge of reproduction.”
Zong Yan: “…”
His face was impassive, but he didn’t say a word to the two evil gods.
While in the form of Azathoth, Zong Yan’s laziness was formidable. He rarely spoke unless it was absolutely necessary.
All they’d said was a few words. Zong Yan wasn’t bothered.
Besides, right now Nyarlathotep was wearing the face of a cute little girl. Somewhat unexpectedly, Zong Yan had a lot of tolerance for this face.
But even if Zong Yan didn’t take action, Yog-Sothoth’s patience was at an end.
The white-robed evil god suddenly turned his head. His face wore a transparently fake smile.
“Didn’t all that frigid water from the Ice Age properly clean out your brain last time? Nyarlathotep.”
The Lord of the Gate walked over to Zong Yan and gently took his hand. He interlocked their fingers, but his golden eyes seemed to be frozen solid.
“Ohhhh, don’t be so sensitive.” The doctor in the white coat smiled, and a reflection gleamed on his lenses. “We don’t have the emotions that inferior creatures do, like possessiveness.
“Did the Father God make changes to you? Did he do any other alterations? My gege?”
Nyarlathotep was belligerent, but he didn’t mean anything special by this. He just wanted to disgust Yog and demonstrate his loyalty to the Father God. If the Lord of the Gate tried to beat him up, Nyarla was wearing his little girl avatar.
The Father God still retained many human feelings. Although it was subtle, the God of a Thousand Faces was a skilled reader of emotions and hadn’t missed a thing. As long as he could use those emotions to benefit himself, Nyarlathotep would make every possible use of them.
The little girl in the puffy princess dress gave Zong Yan a sweet smile. The shadows behind her began to extend and stretch out frantically towards the Lord of the Gate, who was rolling his eyes.
Heh.
Yog sneered inwardly, swept him an icy glance, and didn’t reply.
They’d already reached the end of the tomb’s central passage.
The inside of the tomb was completely dark. Of course, no one present actually needed light to see.
The ground was covered with a layer of human bones, fresh as well as old. Every few steps, another mechanism would suddenly activate behind the walls.
Ding ding ding—poisonous needles shot from a seam, only to be blocked by unspeakable shadows.
The tomb contained no oxygen. As they went further, deadly poison infiltrated the atmosphere. The five evil gods strolled along, trampling the bones of corpses, until they reached the second gate.
At that moment a change suddenly occurred.
Just after Zong Yan stepped through the tomb gate, the scene around him shifted. The Lord of the Gate swayed and everything changed. The little girl, the doctor, and the international superstar were gone.
“This tomb has been abandoned for thousands of years. So much time has passed there’s nothing left to see.” When he saw Zong Yan’s puzzled expression, Yog patiently explained, “Since you’re here to take a look, we should travel to the most glorious era of its history.”
As the Lord of the Gate spoke, the dark, deep tomb passage suddenly vanished. They were now standing on a pathway bathed in sunlight.
Yog took Zong Yan by the hand, just like an ordinary couple. Together they emerged from the tomb. They stood at the entrance and gazed out from high above.
They were now standing on the topmost level of the pyramid, clasping each other’s hands.
A fiery red sun rose slowly from the horizon, casting its light on this wondrous land.
An army of slaves carried stones on their backs, bringing them to constructed water channels. With the buoyancy of water they transported huge stone blocks from outlying areas to the Valley of the Kings.
Overseers stood to the side with long whips. The slaves didn’t dare take a moment of rest beneath the scorching sun. They wedged the simplest possible gears under the stone blocks, making it possible to stack them according to the designer’s plan.
“The city is over there,” the Lord of the Gate patiently explained to his beloved. “In fact, there are many, many intelligent species in the universe. Compared to other races, humans lack an impressive history or level of development, nor are they especially gifted. In fact, humans can only be ranked at the bottom.
“Even so, many evil gods prefer this planet.”
Countless Great Old Ones had been sealed on Earth. This world had also produced more Elder Gods than most other planets with intelligent life.
Not only that, Outer Gods with nothing better to do frequently came to Earth, looking for an early release from their imprisonment. The most famous of them, Nyarlathotep, a repeat offender, enjoyed spending his days wandering among humans.
“Yes, I like this planet, too,” Zong Yan said.
The sunlight from afar fell lightly on the evil god’s inhuman eyes, which were full of chaotic colors, creating a pearlescent glow.
The Lord of the Gate smiled and said nothing.
Of course he knew Zong Yan liked this planet.
After all, his beloved was born on this blue planet and spent years here as a human. During that time, he’d experienced many things, which had driven him to swim against the current and become the Lord of the Universe.
In the distance, a glorious dynasty ruled over the land. The cities of Memphis and Thebes bustled with people.
Near the horizon, a vast and lofty temple was surrounded by shrubs planted by ancient Egyptians. From a distance, it looked like a forest temple rising out of the desert.
This was ancient Egypt, thousands of years in the past.
Ancient Egypt had always been one of the most mysterious cultures in the world.
Not just their complicated and obscure hieroglyphics, but the huge pyramids they left behind and mysterious customs of all kinds. All these things had attracted generations of people to visit and explore their millennia-old country.
And now all this was laid out before Zong Yan.
The Lord of Time and Space took Zong Yan through the torrent of time, allowing him to witness these miracles first hand.
Zong Yan suddenly changed back to human form.
“It’s beautiful. I like it a lot.”
The young man’s face, which had been indifferent, suddenly became vivid. His cheeks flushed pale pink, and his black eyes were shining.
Zong Yan didn’t dislike the shell of Azathoth, but he saw too much as the Lord of the Universe. Also, when he was under the influence of blind idiocy, his experience of “emotion” came several beats slower than normal.
Besides, where did Outer God get emotions?
That was why, in order to better experience all of this, Zong Yan decided to change back to human form.
Compared with being the Lord of the Universe, he preferred what he felt as an ordinary human.
“It’s good that you like it.”
Yog looked down and gently rubbed the black-haired young man’s head. He pulled his lover closer, and they exchanged a long kiss.
After familiarizing himself with such books as 《How to Raise Your Human》 and 《The Complete Book of Human Behavior》, the Lord of the Gate was enthusiastic about expressing his love to his Little Majesty like a human would. And with his superior abilities as an all-knowing, all-seeing god, he quickly got up to speed.
At their feet, a pair of black shadows intertwined. The ambiguous shapes hinted at dangerous mysteries, yet they were strangely, eternally, compatible.
—
Incidentally, when the Lord of the Gate brought Zong Yan thousands of years in the past to ancient Egypt, he also tossed Nyarlathotep and Shub-Niggurath back to the Ice Age.
Of course, it was useless to complain about such a thing. Nyarla knew the Father God would support Yog. In the Father’s eyes, Yog’s status was higher than his own. And if Nyarla tried to snitch, the Lord of the Gate might badmouth him in private.
Out of all the many Outer Gods, the one nobody wanted to provoke was Yog-Sothoth.
He was the Lord of Time and Space, all-seeing and all-knowing. He knew every side of every feud. Displease him and he might fling you into another dimension for a round of solo travel. Getting revenge for such a thing was irrelevant to Shub and Nyarla, but it would definitely be annoying if it happened a lot.
So the plan for the five member team to explore the Black Pharaoh’s pyramid and complete the S-level task came to a sudden halt.
The Lord of the Gate took his Little Majesty a few thousand years in the past to have some fun. Along the way they watched famous historical scenes, successfully converting a group business trip into a romantic honeymoon.
Of course, Zong Yan hadn’t forgotten about the S-level mission. After they returned from the past, he dragged Yog back to the pyramid of the Black Pharaoh. What they found there left him speechless.
Indeed, the pyramid of the Black Pharaoh didn’t contain piles of treasure like later generations might imagine, nor were there any historical secrets, or the coffin of the Black Pharaoh, or anything at all.
Nyarlathotep was just that bad. The more people wanted something, the more he stomped on their aching feet.
Imagine how agonizing it would be to pass all five levels of the tomb, past rows of concealed traps, losing your fellow explorers along the way, until you finally reached the main chamber of the pyramid.
But there was nothing inside the main chamber. It was empty. All that could be seen was a sign erected by Nyarlathotep written in English: “Surprise—!”
What manner of horror was this?
Thousands of years ago, the builder of the tomb predicted that future generations would reach this chamber, so while setting up the final mechanism he left a big surprise.
After being viewed by human eyes for a certain amount of time, the sign would disintegrate automatically, leaving nothing behind.
Pure chaos. Inside the ancient pyramid of the Black Pharaoh, Nyarlathotep, the God of a Thousand Faces, left humanity the best gift he could imagine.
Zong Yan’s face was expressionless. He wanted to punch Nyarlathotep.
He pranked his own dad, that unfilial son.
TL Notes:
Surprise – This word was in English
prank – 坑人 – pit, pitfall, entrap, ensnare
Transliterated names, titles, and places—new in this chapter:
Memphis – 孟菲斯
Thebes – 底比斯
[ Project Page | Ko-Fi ✿ | Other translations by Confectioner ]
