Chapter 136: Reality And The Forgotten
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The old man us took to an abandoned house. It was dusty and there wasn't anything here that made it look livable. But I didn't complain. It was for the best that I didn't. I couldn't think and my eyes weren't moving. I couldn't move them.
"Here." The old man threw a sheet of cloth at me.
It was probably for me to sleep under. The other two were in a separate room. I was given a room of my own. It didn't have anything, not even a bed. I didn't feel like sleeping, so I didn't care.
"Sleep it off. I know she was your friend and our comrade but that doesn't mean we have to mourn forever. We have something else to accomplish; you have to accomplish it! And to accomplish that you'll have to go through that again and again. So buckle yourself up!" His words were harsh but true. And yet, I really hated the old man from the bottom of my heart for saying that.
And the things he said had happened before too, so many times that I took death for granted. This one hurt so excruciatingly because I was sure it wouldn't happen again. I was too confident in my strength that I didn't even consider others. Overconfidence brought my downfall. But even so, it hurt and I couldn't help but feel he was being cruel.
"Say, old man, am I strong?" It wasn't a question and he might have noticed. I didn't look at him. I didn't need to.
"You're plenty." Now I had to look at him. I couldn't believe my ears so I tried to do a double-take. He was smiling.
That was the first time I saw him smile like that. It wasn't his usual sarcastic smile rather, it was kind and gentle. If he had rebuked me, I'd have felt better but his smile and words only made me even worse. I didn't let it show.
"That's not funny geezer." I tried to chuckle.
"Yeah I know, brat." He snorted. "But wanting to die isn't either. She gave up her life for you. Meaning she wanted you to live. Did that not go through your thick skull?" Again, the old man didn't hold anything back. What was he, some sort of evil villain?
"I know." Of course I knew that. But knowing something and accepting it, were two different things.
"As I said, sleep it off."
"Yeah." I didn't have another response.
"By the way, shove it down his ass? Really? Just how badly did you want to get beaten there? Did you not see how many they were?"
I only smiled. Of course I saw how many of them there were. But I also had a good reason and the old man knew it. All of us were injured but burying Brenda was the top priority
He smiled too. With a sigh, the old man headed out. "I'll be out, if you want to get a drink."
He left and I laid the sheet on the floor. I really wanted to have a drink right now. Who cared about empty promises anyway?
I did. And that's why I didn't drink. Long ago after drinking a lot and throwing a tantrum inside the house Alisa made me swear that I wouldn't drink. Of course it was just an impulse swear and I was drinking the very next day in secret. But when two weeks later, she died, something changed in me. I really wanted to drink but whenever I tried to drink, I almost always felt like throwing up. I always remembered that promise with Alisa and always ended up throwing the cans and bottles out. I had quit drinking… I had to quit.
I lied in the bed I just made, and thought about all the times I had with Brenda. She was like a close friend I always wanted but never had. She was kind and selfish at the same time. She was flawed and yet perfect in many ways. She was my friend.
Before dawn, my eyes closed themselves and I fell deep asleep.
***
"You are here?" It was that sad voice. But this time, something felt different. She was calmer.
I was in the same place, the same place with the darkness.
"What is this place, who are you?" My voice didn't get out. Yet again, I didn't have a body. I couldn't see anything.
And nothing about my body felt strange, though I didn't have one. Actually, I may have been a lot calmer than I thought I'd be. In fact, I didn't feel any emotions.
"I am she who is called Shivalia. The world has forgotten I. this place is the realm of darkness." She offered the answers without a pause. I still couldn't see her but I could imagine her voice was coming from directly beneath me.
"Isn't this world called something like that too? The dark realm?"
"Yes, but-" Her words came to an abrupt stop. "This place…. Is the darkest in this world. The coldest…. The saddest."
I believed her. I mean, I couldn't see, so there was no reason for me not to. If it was dark enough for me to not see her then didn't it mean this place was pretty dark? I guess that was self-explanatory.
"How do I get out of here or how do I set you free? Where are you?"
I didn't know much about this place. In fact, I didn't know anything about this place. I never told the others about my dreams and I never wondered about them either. A had a lot more on my plate than I could ever chew.
"Once in, one cannot get out. You are not here. Someone else is acting as a medium for this audience. This shall be our last. Farewell, and though it pains me I shall say it. Please never come here." she wanted to be saved and yet, she didn't want me to come here?
Talk about being selfish. "Isn't that a little too selfish?"
There was no answer.
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The old man us took to an abandoned house. It was dusty and there wasn't anything here that made it look livable. But I didn't complain. It was for the best that I didn't. I couldn't think and my eyes weren't moving. I couldn't move them.
"Here." The old man threw a sheet of cloth at me.
It was probably for me to sleep under. The other two were in a separate room. I was given a room of my own. It didn't have anything, not even a bed. I didn't feel like sleeping, so I didn't care.
"Sleep it off. I know she was your friend and our comrade but that doesn't mean we have to mourn forever. We have something else to accomplish; you have to accomplish it! And to accomplish that you'll have to go through that again and again. So buckle yourself up!" His words were harsh but true. And yet, I really hated the old man from the bottom of my heart for saying that.
And the things he said had happened before too, so many times that I took death for granted. This one hurt so excruciatingly because I was sure it wouldn't happen again. I was too confident in my strength that I didn't even consider others. Overconfidence brought my downfall. But even so, it hurt and I couldn't help but feel he was being cruel.
"Say, old man, am I strong?" It wasn't a question and he might have noticed. I didn't look at him. I didn't need to.
"You're plenty." Now I had to look at him. I couldn't believe my ears so I tried to do a double-take. He was smiling.
That was the first time I saw him smile like that. It wasn't his usual sarcastic smile rather, it was kind and gentle. If he had rebuked me, I'd have felt better but his smile and words only made me even worse. I didn't let it show.
"That's not funny geezer." I tried to chuckle.
"Yeah I know, brat." He snorted. "But wanting to die isn't either. She gave up her life for you. Meaning she wanted you to live. Did that not go through your thick skull?" Again, the old man didn't hold anything back. What was he, some sort of evil villain?
"I know." Of course I knew that. But knowing something and accepting it, were two different things.
"As I said, sleep it off."
"Yeah." I didn't have another response.
"By the way, shove it down his ass? Really? Just how badly did you want to get beaten there? Did you not see how many they were?"
I only smiled. Of course I saw how many of them there were. But I also had a good reason and the old man knew it. All of us were injured but burying Brenda was the top priority
He smiled too. With a sigh, the old man headed out. "I'll be out, if you want to get a drink."
He left and I laid the sheet on the floor. I really wanted to have a drink right now. Who cared about empty promises anyway?
I did. And that's why I didn't drink. Long ago after drinking a lot and throwing a tantrum inside the house Alisa made me swear that I wouldn't drink. Of course it was just an impulse swear and I was drinking the very next day in secret. But when two weeks later, she died, something changed in me. I really wanted to drink but whenever I tried to drink, I almost always felt like throwing up. I always remembered that promise with Alisa and always ended up throwing the cans and bottles out. I had quit drinking… I had to quit.
I lied in the bed I just made, and thought about all the times I had with Brenda. She was like a close friend I always wanted but never had. She was kind and selfish at the same time. She was flawed and yet perfect in many ways. She was my friend.
Before dawn, my eyes closed themselves and I fell deep asleep.
***
"You are here?" It was that sad voice. But this time, something felt different. She was calmer.
I was in the same place, the same place with the darkness.
"What is this place, who are you?" My voice didn't get out. Yet again, I didn't have a body. I couldn't see anything.
And nothing about my body felt strange, though I didn't have one. Actually, I may have been a lot calmer than I thought I'd be. In fact, I didn't feel any emotions.
"I am she who is called Shivalia. The world has forgotten I. this place is the realm of darkness." She offered the answers without a pause. I still couldn't see her but I could imagine her voice was coming from directly beneath me.
"Isn't this world called something like that too? The dark realm?"
"Yes, but-" Her words came to an abrupt stop. "This place…. Is the darkest in this world. The coldest…. The saddest."
I believed her. I mean, I couldn't see, so there was no reason for me not to. If it was dark enough for me to not see her then didn't it mean this place was pretty dark? I guess that was self-explanatory.
"How do I get out of here or how do I set you free? Where are you?"
I didn't know much about this place. In fact, I didn't know anything about this place. I never told the others about my dreams and I never wondered about them either. A had a lot more on my plate than I could ever chew.
"Once in, one cannot get out. You are not here. Someone else is acting as a medium for this audience. This shall be our last. Farewell, and though it pains me I shall say it. Please never come here." she wanted to be saved and yet, she didn't want me to come here?
Talk about being selfish. "Isn't that a little too selfish?"
There was no answer.
The old man us took to an abandoned house. It was dusty and there wasn't anything here that made it look livable. But I didn't complain. It was for the best that I didn't. I couldn't think and my eyes weren't moving. I couldn't move them."Here." The old man threw a sheet of cloth at me.It was probably for me to sleep under. The other two were in a separate room. I was given a room of my own. It didn't have anything, not even a bed. I didn't feel like sleeping, so I didn't care."Sleep it off. I know she was your friend and our comrade but that doesn't mean we have to mourn forever. We have something else to accomplish; you have to accomplish it! And to accomplish that you'll have to go through that again and again. So buckle yourself up!" His words were harsh but true. And yet, I really hated the old man from the bottom of my heart for saying that.And the things he said had happened before too, so many times that I took death for granted. This one hurt so excruciatingly because I was sure it wouldn't happen again. I was too confident in my strength that I didn't even consider others. Overconfidence brought my downfall. But even so, it hurt and I couldn't help but feel he was being cruel."Say, old man, am I strong?" It wasn't a question and he might have noticed. I didn't look at him. I didn't need to."You're plenty." Now I had to look at him. I couldn't believe my ears so I tried to do a double-take. He was smiling.That was the first time I saw him smile like that. It wasn't his usual sarcastic smile rather, it was kind and gentle. If he had rebuked me, I'd have felt better but his smile and words only made me even worse. I didn't let it show."That's not funny geezer." I tried to chuckle."Yeah I know, brat." He snorted. "But wanting to die isn't either. She gave up her life for you. Meaning she wanted you to live. Did that not go through your thick skull?" Again, the old man didn't hold anything back. What was he, some sort of evil villain?"I know." Of course I knew that. But knowing something and accepting it, were two different things."As I said, sleep it off.""Yeah." I didn't have another response."By the way, shove it down his ass? Really? Just how badly did you want to get beaten there? Did you not see how many they were?"I only smiled. Of course I saw how many of them there were. But I also had a good reason and the old man knew it. All of us were injured but burying Brenda was the top priorityHe smiled too. With a sigh, the old man headed out. "I'll be out, if you want to get a drink."He left and I laid the sheet on the floor. I really wanted to have a drink right now. Who cared about empty promises anyway?I did. And that's why I didn't drink. Long ago after drinking a lot and throwing a tantrum inside the house Alisa made me swear that I wouldn't drink. Of course it was just an impulse swear and I was drinking the very next day in secret. But when two weeks later, she died, something changed in me. I really wanted to drink but whenever I tried to drink, I almost always felt like throwing up. I always remembered that promise with Alisa and always ended up throwing the cans and bottles out. I had quit drinking I had to quit.I lied in the bed I just made, and thought about all the times I had with Brenda. She was like a close friend I always wanted but never had. She was kind and selfish at the same time. She was flawed and yet perfect in many ways. She was my friend.Before dawn, my eyes closed themselves and I fell deep asleep.***"You are here?" It was that sad voice. But this time, something felt different. She was calmer.I was in the same place, the same place with the darkness."What is this place, who are you?" My voice didn't get out. Yet again, I didn't have a body. I couldn't see anything.And nothing about my body felt strange, though I didn't have one. Actually, I may have been a lot calmer than I thought I'd be. In fact, I didn't feel any emotions."I am she who is called Shivalia. The world has forgotten I. this place is the realm of darkness." She offered the answers without a pause. I still couldn't see her but I could imagine her voice was coming from directly beneath me."Isn't this world called something like that too? The dark realm?""Yes, but-" Her words came to an abrupt stop. "This place. Is the darkest in this world. The coldest. The saddest."I believed her. I mean, I couldn't see, so there was no reason for me not to. If it was dark enough for me to not see her then didn't it mean this place was pretty dark? I guess that was self-explanatory."How do I get out of here or how do I set you free? Where are you?"I didn't know much about this place. In fact, I didn't know anything about this place. I never told the others about my dreams and I never wondered about them either. A had a lot more on my plate than I could ever chew."Once in, one cannot get out. You are not here. Someone else is acting as a medium for this audience. This shall be our last. Farewell, and though it pains me I shall say it. Please never come here." she wanted to be saved and yet, she didn't want me to come here?Talk about being selfish. "Isn't that a little too selfish?"There was no answer.
