Yuto and Rob decided to have an early dinner at the hotel restaurant.
During their meal, Rob told him that not only was Jessica a very good lobbyist, she also happened to be the president’s niece.
Getting close with her would clearly make it easier to obtain internal information about Smith-Backs Company. That was probably Dick’s aim. The system development company that he supposedly worked for was probably a front for the CIA.
Rob’s cell phone rang just as they had finished their meal and were about to head back to their room. It was an invite from one of his friends.
“Out? Right now?” Rob said. “Oh, I don’t know…”
“Why not? Go ahead,” Yuto said. “I’m a little tired, so I’m going to head up and take a rest.”
Rob nodded and looked at him apologetically before letting his friend know that he was going.
“Sorry,” he said, once he hung up his phone. “It was from an old co-worker. He was with the rest of the gang and wanted to know if I could join.”
“Don’t mind me. Go on and have fun.”
After seeing Rob off, Yuto returned to their room alone. He emerged from his shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, and let himself fall onto the bed without bothering to get dressed.
Although he had finally reunited with Dick again, he didn’t feel happy at all. In fact, he felt even more depressed than before.
Dick’s cold gaze had shattered Yuto’s heart. He knew that it was inevitable, since they were both meeting under false identities. But he wished he could have at least caught a glimpse of joy in Dick’s face over their reunion. If even for one second, he wished that Dick would look at him like he used to.
Yuto rolled over onto his back and gazed blankly at the ceiling. He could see Dick’s face before him, even with his eyes open. But the man’s face was as cold as ice. He was giving Yuto the cold shoulder – it was hard to see it any other way.
Yuto tossed and turned in agony, gritting his teeth at the storm of violent emotions whirling inside him.
—I miss him. I miss him so much. I want to see Dick so badly.
If they were alone, without anyone else, perhaps they could talk like the old days. Perhaps they could take their masks off and genuinely celebrate their reunion.
He remembered Dick’s hotel room number. If he left now, he would arrive in time to see him.
Yuto could no longer sit still. He changed back into his suit and burst out of the room. He got into a taxi in front of the hotel and told the driver to take him to the hotel where Dick was staying. He felt like his heart would burst from the alternating waves of anxiety and anticipation.
But as soon as he stepped into the lobby of the hotel, one thought stopped him in his tracks. What if Dick and Jessica were staying in the same room? If they were staying together and Yuto just barged in, he would look suspicious.
After mulling things over, Yuto considered calling the hotel front desk from his cell phone and asking them to call up to Dick’s room.
He made for a corner in the lobby to make his call and took one step before he was grabbed by the arm from behind. Yuto turned around in surprise and gasped when he realized who it was.
“Dick…”
Dick was stony-faced, looking down at him icily.
“Come,” he said shortly, breaking into a brisk walk. Yuto hastily followed after him. Dick stepped into the elevator and immediately closed the door. They didn’t exchange a single word as they reached the eighth floor and continued walking down the long hallway.
Dick opened the door to Room 809 and turned back to Yuto. Yuto stood hesitantly, but was soon shoved inside the room by force. Although it was a twin room, there was no luggage or belongings appearing to belong to a woman. Yuto was relieved to find that Dick was staying alone.
“Dick, I’m sorry for coming out of the blue.”
“Don’t call me by that name. I’m Steve Muller now,” Dick said curtly. “You’re only making things harder for me by following me around like this. Don’t you get the message?”
Yuto’s anticipation crumbled instantly as he was faced with the anger that practically radiated off of Dick’s body. Even though they were alone together now, Dick’s attitude was as icy as ever. He didn’t even show a hint of happiness at their reunion.
To Dick, Yuto was nothing more than a part of the past that he had left behind. Faced with the harsh truth, Yuto could find no words to say.
He had come out to see Dick to show him how he felt. It had been his own way of saying, I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve always wanted to see you. Yuto had meant to express these feelings in this gesture, but to Dick, it had been nothing but a nuisance. It had been one-sided all along.
“What did you come here for?”
“What did I…?” Yuto repeated in shock. Dick hadn’t caught the ball he had thrown. It hadn’t even touched his glove; instead, it had hit him in the back and fallen to the ground.
Dick was not willing to play catch with Yuto. That much was clear.
“Were you ordered to come here and keep watch on me?”
“Keep watch…?”
“I know you’ve joined the FBI. Did you think that you would find out where Corvus by keeping tabs on me?”
Yuto stared at Dick’s chiseled face in confusion.
Was Dick being so cold to him because he was part of the FBI? Was it because he was with an opposing organization?
“Yes, I did become an FBI agent, but it wasn’t to be at odds with you. In fact, I joined because I wanted to see you again—”
“Stop making excuses. I gave you information about Corvus because you were innocent, and I wanted you to be freed from prison. Not to lend a hand to the FBI. But lo and behold, as soon as you got out, you went and became their dog. I didn’t expect you to take a job that directly interferes with mine. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you,” Dick said bitterly, turning away. It was almost as if he was saying that he couldn’t stand to look at someone so detestable.
“Dick, no. You’ve got it wrong. I never meant to get in your way—”
“Then quit the FBI right now. If you can’t, then get out of my sight. You’re a hindrance.”
He had a point; the CIA and FBI were two opposing organizations. One was plotting Corvus’ assassination; the other was determined to arrest him.
Although Yuto was more than aware of that, he had believed it was a problem that arose from their positions, and not something that would hinder their personal relationship. He had never dreamed that Dick would shun him so strongly.
Yuto cursed his foolishness. He knew how much Dick was invested in chasing after Corvus. He knew all too well that Dick was gambling his own life in order for a chance to kill Corvus.
He wanted to understand Dick, wanted to know him better than anyone else. But despite his intentions, he had only been thinking about himself all this time. That realization was perhaps the most embarrassing of all.
“—I’m sorry,” Yuto said. “I didn’t think things through. I just thought that if I joined the FBI and started my own chase after Corvus, I’d be able to see you one day. Be in the same world as you. That was it – that was simply all there was to it. I didn’t realize I’d be nothing but a nuisance to you by chasing after you.”
His voice trembled. Yuto balled his hands into fists, desperately suppressing his distraught emotions.
“Why did you want to see me again?”
Yuto was confused by Dick’s question. He knew that Dick was already aware of his feelings.
“Are you still hung up on that time we had sex?”
“Dick…?”
Dick strode over and roughly grabbed Yuto’s chin.
“Was it that good? I’ll admit, the sex was satisfying. You came on to me so coyly that it got me in the mood. And it wasn’t bad. It was all the more exciting because of the situation. If you’re that desperate, I can do you a favour and sleep with you just one more time. But it’ll be the last. Have your fill, and never come after me again.”
His blue eyes gazed piercingly down at Yuto from behind his spectacles. Yuto could only stare back at him in stunned silence.
He could feel his hands and feet getting cold as the blood drained from his body. It wasn’t that he was hurt by Dick’s words; rather, he was heartbroken that Dick was willing to go so far to push him away.
No matter how much of a nuisance Yuto was to Dick now, he hadn’t expected Dick to ridicule that moment that they shared. It was supposed to have been an important moment for them. It wasn’t just physical intimacy; they had intimately shared their hearts as well. They had sought each other, deeply and with their very souls.
“If that’s what you’ve come for, then hurry up and get in bed. Let’s get it over with.”
It was enough. He didn’t want to hear any more.
He was the one making Dick say such heartless things. Dick was trying to cut all ties between them by purposely saying such hurtful things.
“What’s wrong? How about you say something?”
Yuto gentle pushed back against Dick’s chest. “…It’s fine, Dick.”
“What is?”
“I know you’re not serious about what you’re saying. So just stop.”
Dick twisted his lips into a sneer. “How do you know I’m not being serious? Don’t let your wishful thinking get ahead of you.”
“I do know! How could I not?” Yuto exclaimed. He let his turbulent emotions take over, shaking his head vehemently. “If I’m that much of a nuisance to you, I’ll never set foot anywhere near you again. So, please… don’t trample over that moment we shared back then. I don’t care if you’re pretending to. That night we spent together is still a precious memory for me. Even if you end up forgetting about it, I’ll still remember ‘til the day I die. I could never forget.”
Yuto turned his back to Dick and slowly started walking toward the exit. He didn’t want to make Dick suffer anymore, or make him say any more hurtful words. That was the only thing on his mind.
As his hand closed around the doorknob, Yuto hesitated a moment before saying his last words.
“Dick, I wish you well. I’ll be praying for your happiness, wherever you go.”
He felt a strong déjà vu at his own words. Yuto remembered he had said the same words to Dick just before the man escaped from prison. That time, he had seen Dick off with a smile. But now, he couldn’t even so much as muster one. He couldn’t even bring himself to look Dick in the face.
Yuto felt like he was being torn apart as he went to open the door. Just then, he felt a strong impact against his back. For a moment, he didn’t know what had hit him. As soon as he realized that Dick was hugging him from behind, his vision blurred with tears.
“Dick…?”
A pair of strong arms were holding him back. He was held in an embrace that was so tight, he had no room to budge.
“Dick, why….”
Tears streamed from Yuto’s eyes. Dick still said nothing. Yuto could only feel the man’s gasping breaths against his cheek.
Yuto was suddenly flipped around and hugged from the front. His tears flowed even more freely as he was pressed against the man’s broad chest.
Yuto tried to lift his face to look at Dick, but the man kept turning away. He looked like he was in pain, like he was desperately trying to hold back.
When Yuto reached out and gently stroked Dick’s cheek, the man flinched.
Yuto hesitantly cupped Dick’s face with his hands. Dick’s eyes were cast down as he took several deep breaths. He refused to look at Yuto, as if he were afraid of him.
“Dick, look at me,” Yuto murmured, taking Dick’s glasses away. He then gently ruffled Dick’s neatly-slicked hair. By doing that, he felt like the man in front of him was slowly returning to the Dick that he knew.
“Please, look me in the eye,” Yuto pleaded. Dick finally opened his eyes. They were close enough to feel each other’s breaths as their gazes collided. As soon as he saw those wavering blue eyes, Yuto was sure that the man in front of him was the man he knew all too well.
It was Dick himself – the same Dick Burnford from Schelger Prison.
“Yuto, you always find a way to break my heart. Why…?” Dick said, his voice strained. He ran his fingertips along Yuto’s face searchingly, from his forehead to his temple, down his nose to his lips. His movements were hesitant, like that of a blind person using his sense of touch to ascertain what was in front of him.
“I knew my will would be swayed as soon as I saw you. That’s why I didn’t want to.”
“Dick… you don’t hate me?”
Would Dick forgive him for becoming an FBI agent? Yuto couldn’t help but ask, as he was desperate to know.
“How could I hate you? Even if you killed me, I still couldn’t hate you.”
Yuto felt something hot welling up inside his chest. It turned in to joy that raced through his entire body in a blink of an eye, and flowed in the form of more tears from his eyes.
“Dick… I missed you so much. All I could think about was you after we parted ways. I always wondered what you were feeling, where you were, what you were doing. It’s all I’ve thought about, all this time.”
Yuto almost felt as if a part of Dick’s soul had found its way into his heart when they made love that night at Schelger Prison. It was pure, blind attachment that couldn’t be rationalized.
“I was the opposite,” Dick said. “I tried not to remember you. Thinking of you made me lose my focus, made me unable to move forward. I tried my best to forget about you.”
Although it manifested differently, Dick was essentially saying that he felt the same way as Yuto.
He hadn’t been the only one. They had both shared in this feeling of suffering even though they were far apart.
Yuto clasped Dick’s hands and pressed his cheek against the man’s large palm. Its warmth gave him so much joy that he kissed Dick’s hand over and over. Dick also held Yuto tightly, nibbling at his cheek and earlobe his breath hot against Yuto’s skin.
They hadn’t even kissed, but already Yuto was out of breath. He was filled with a sense of arousal and euphoria that almost felt like the moment of climax. He couldn’t keep himself sane.
Dick pressed his hips against his own. Yuto could feel the man’s desire – it had already taken shape under his pants and was yearning for Yuto. Yuto was the same. He wanted Dick, and he meant it with all his heart. But he wasn’t sure if he should follow through.
He wondered if he should let himself by carried away by his desires. Considering the future, perhaps it was best to part ways without doing anything instead. That way, he could suffer now, but wouldn’t have to suffer later.
But on the other hand, here was Dick, after all the time he had spent searching. And he was finally returning Yuto’s feelings.
“Dick, what should I do…?” Yuto pleaded painfully, at the mercy of the growing heat in his body. “What are we supposed to do?”
“There’s nothing else we can do now. You think I’m going to let you go home?” Dick smiled, with an expression tinged with resignation and passion. But it was the first gentle expression that Dick had shown him since they reunited.
“Let’s just forget about everything for one moment. Forget about our positions, our jobs, what we have to do. Just for this moment.”
Just now. Just for this moment. There was no other choice. Even so, Yuto could feel his heart ache.
It was the same – like that time they had made love in prison. Although their situations were different now, this scene was the same.
Were they only allowed to love each other within a limited time and space? Were they not allowed to promise anything more in the future?
“Not up for it, Yuto?”
He wished he could say he wasn’t. He wished he could say that he didn’t want such a fruitless relationship – where they would love each other but have to part ways again, and cut the thread that had connected them. But he knew he was being selfish. Yuto had no right to block the path that Dick was trying to head down.
Yuto laid his head on Dick’s chest, feeling a sense of frustration.
“Yuto?”
“I can’t go back now, either. I can’t just get up and leave you with how I’m feeling now.”
Dick scooped up Yuto in his arms. Yuto felt himself choke up with emotion as he threw his arms around Dick’s neck.
Content warning: sex scene
Dick climbed on top of Yuto as soon as he was laid down on the bed. His hot tongue slid deep into Yuto’s mouth. Yuto lost himself in kissing Dick back. Like a sweet poison, the man’s kiss travelled to every corner of his body and make him feel numb and tingly. The last of Yuto’s rational sense had evaporated long ago.
There was no need for thinking. Like beasts controlled by their animal instinct, they blindly and desperately sought each other. They couldn’t be bothered by the little things; they simply lent themselves to their unleashed desires.
Dick stripped Yuto naked and ran his hands over his exposed skin like a hungry animal. No matter where Dick touched him, Yuto only felt a sweet anticipation. He twitched and trembled in expectation as the sheets became rumpled and disheveled underneath him.
Partway through, Dick also hastily ripped his suit off and pressed his bare skin against Yuto’s. Yuto was filled with bliss at the comforting sensation of their skin touching, and wound his arms around Dick.
“Dick… Dick…” Every time he called the man deliriously, the man kissed him back. Both of their members were hard with desire, and were so aroused that they dripped with precum every time they rubbed against each other. Yet, neither of them thought to reach down and fondle each other directly. They were both afraid of climaxing, because they knew that if they came, this moment of excitement would end.
Dick spread Yuto’s legs wide open and rubbed the inside of his thighs seductively. He rubbed the area at the base of his thighs, getting dangerously close to his sensitive spot. At the same time, the man licked each of his pointed nipples in turn. Yuto desperately tried to suppress the moans that threatened to escape his lips.
He felt impatient at the man’s fingertips that seemed to tease him, coming close but never touching him where he wanted. As Dick continued to caress his chest, Yuto felt his member grow even more engorged and strained as it yearned to release its desire. Even though no one had touched him there, he felt like he was about to come.
His penis was so swollen, it was painful. He felt a throbbing pain, as if there was a gaping wound. His member was already wet from tip to base with precum. Unable to bear it any longer, Yuto grinded his hips against Dick’s.
“Dick, please…”
Yuto’s hips lifted from the sheets, thrusting as if to seduce Dick. He couldn’t control it; his body was moving on its own.
“You want to come already? Can’t hold it anymore?” Dick whispered. Yuto nodded. Dick’s fingers closed around Yuto’s dripping penis. After a few light pumps, Yuto felt like he was already about to climax. He writhed wordlessly.
“I’m coming—”
“Not yet. Hold it in.”
Dick shifted his body and brought his face between Yuto’s legs.
“Dick, no… I want us to come together.”
“Not until I get a good taste of you first.”
Ignoring Yuto’s desperate wish to become one, Dick immersed himself in pleasuring Yuto orally. He gripped Yuto’s base tightly, preventing him from ejaculating as he slid Yuto’s member deep into his scalding mouth.
“Ah… no…!”
Every time Dick’s lips moved up and down, Yuto’s muscles in his inner thighs twitched. He tried to push Dick’s head away the closer he came to his climax, but Dick instead grabbed his hands and pressed them against the sheets.
Yuto bucked and writhed as he shook his head from side to side. The pleasure was so strong, so overwhelming, that tears welled up in his eyes. Yuto continued to moan in ecstasy, unable to do anything but submit to Dick’s rough fellatio.
“Nh… hah… Dick… please, not so rough… I can’t…”
Although he didn’t want to climax alone, Yuto’s body had left his control and was completely at mercy of Dick’s caresses.
He could feel the tip of Dick’s tongue pry at the opening, and the sensation of the man taking him deep into his mouth. Even his ears were being violated by the wet sounds from below. Before he knew it, his hips were making small thrusts in tandem with Dick’s movements. He was embarrassed, but there was nothing he could do. A mix of pleasure, shame, and arousal came over Yuto and pushed him further to the edge.
“Ah… I’m almost… Dick…!”
Dick finally loosened his grip on Yuto’s base. Yuto released himself into Dick’s mouth, feeling a pleasure violent enough to almost make him pass out. He felt his mind go blank as his entire body went limp. His chest rose and fell as he took deep, ragged breaths.
“We’ve only just started, Yuto,” Dick whispered as he caressed Yuto’s chest.
Yuto felt a shiver down his spine at Dick’s low voice that dripped with desire. Dick ran his hand along Yuto’s side, and his hot touch was enough to put him in the mood again, despite having climaxed just moments before.
“Let me do you, too,” Yuto said, reaching toward Dick’s erect member, but Dick gently pushed back.
“Later,” he said. Dick suddenly got up and picked up the phone. Yuto absently stared at Dick’s lips, catching his breath as he wondered who the man was calling.
“A cheese pizza, please. If you could bring a bottle of olive oil on the side. Yeah. Thanks.”
He was ordering room service. Dick hung up the phone and crawled on top of him again. Yuto felt comfort in feeling the man’s weight on him as he smiled and pecked the top of his nose.
“Some sustenance before the big game?”
“No way. I’d be too busy eating you up to pay attention to anything else.”
“Then why did you order a pizza?”
Dick lovingly brushed Yuto’s shiny black hair back, sighing with a wry smile.
“Stop being so cute. I don’t want the pizza. I just need the oil.”
“Oh.” Yuto flushed, embarrassed about his cluelessness as he finally figured out what Dick had ordered the pizza for.
“One bottle might not be enough,” Dick teased as he gently bit Yuto’s earlobe. “I’ll drizzle you with oil and savour every bit. You better brace yourself.”
“Dick…!” Feeling ticklish, Yuto playfully pushed against the man’s chest, but Dick didn’t budge. Dick decided to take it a step further by tickling Yuto in the ribs and belly button. Yuto thrashed on the bed, out of breath with laughter.
“Stop it! Stupid Dick… ah… damnit…!”
He couldn’t escape; Dick was too heavy. As a last resort, Yuto sank his teeth into Dick’s bicep, hard enough to leave marks.
“Hey, no biting. That’s against the rules.”
“What rules? You started it,” Yuto said grumpily.
“Some things never change,” Dick said exasperatedly, cocking an eyebrow at him. “You really hate to lose, don’t you?”
“And you really love to tease, huh,” Yuto sniffed. Dick shook his head in resignation and put his arms around Yuto.
“It was my fault. I apologize. Let’s make up.”
“As long as you understand.”
Dick was still crouched over Yuto, his head pressed against the pillow laughing. Yuto couldn’t help but laugh with him. Afterwards, they exchanged light kisses over and over.
“I can finally make love to you in a clean bed. It feels like a dream.”
His words made Yuto recall a memory. When they had made love on the flattened cardboard, Dick had said bitterly that he had wanted their first time to be on a big, neatly-made bed.
It was a small and inconsequential piece of happiness, but Yuto felt love for it all the same. It was endearing all the more because he knew it was only momentary.
They would drift far apart again as soon as they left this room. Even if they crossed paths somewhere, they would have to pretend they were strangers.
Yuto tried to brush away the uncontrollable sense of despair that threatened to creep into his heart, and instead ran his fingers through Dick’s hair. This colour suited him well, too, but he liked Dick’s dazzling blond hair even more.
“Your scar is gone,” Yuto said, running his fingers along Dick’s forehead. Although it was slightly tinged red, it was almost unnoticeable.
“After I escaped, they forced me to go in to a hospital right away because they didn’t want me roaming around with noticeable scars.”
“—Dick, can I ask you something?”
Dick’s face clouded over at Yuto’s sombre tone.
“If you’re going to ask about Corvus, I can’t tell you.”
“I know. I wasn’t going to. It’s about the woman you were with, Jessica. Have you already…?”
“Have I already what?” Dick asked, sounding genuinely curious. Yuto awkwardly averted his gaze.
“I’m asking if you’ve already slept with her. You two seemed really close.”
“What, are you jealous?”
“I’m not — alright, I admit it. I am jealous,” Yuto admitted reluctantly, knowing that it would be just as obvious if he denied it.
“I haven’t slept with her yet,” Dick murmured as he stroked Yuto’s hair. “But I will if I need to. She’s a valuable source of information.”
“I see.” Although Yuto was agitated, he made sure to act nonchalant, putting on the mask of a laidback, understanding guy. He didn’t care if Dick knew he was jealous, but he didn’t have a say in who Dick slept with. It wasn’t his place to do so.
“But you know what?” Dick said, nuzzling Yuto’s neck, his expression playful. “I think I’d fail that mission. Junior here is useless when it comes to women.”
As a smile crept over Yuto’s face, Dick kissed his collarbone and asked him a question back.
“How about you? What’s going on between you and that guy?”
“That guy? You mean Rob?”
“Yeah. Some renowned professor, huh? Either way, he looked like a creep.”
“How rude. Rob is a good guy. He’s actually helping me with my investigation. We’ve only met recently, but I’m grateful for all the help he’s giving me.”
Dick’s expression hardened when he heard Yuto praising Rob.
“But he’s gay, right? Has he tried to come onto you?”
“How did you know?” Yuto blurted in surprise. Dick looked even more annoyed.
“So he did come onto you.”
“Not about that – I mean about Rob being gay. Were you able to tell just by looking at him?”
“I got a feeling. The way he was looking at Jessica was pretty cold. Any guy who likes women, no matter how much of a gentleman he is, wouldn’t be able to help but leer at a bombshell like her.”
To Yuto, Rob had appeared nothing but good-natured. He was genuinely surprised at Dick’s sharp observational skills.
“How do you know he’s gay?” Dick asked. “He suddenly came out to you when you’ve just met each other?”
“Well…” Yuto couldn’t bring himself to say that Rob had taken him to gay bar and kissed him.
“He came onto you, didn’t he? Damn! That bastard!”
Yuto found it strange that Dick seemed genuinely angry.
“Are you jealous, too, Dick? That’s not like you.”
“How? I’m a pretty jealous guy, though it may not seem like it. You just don’t know.”
“You don’t seem like the jealous type.” Yuto laced his fingers with Dick’s long fingers as if to console him and his bad mood.
“I was jealous in prison, too. You saw.”
“Jealous of who?” Yuto exclaimed in surprise at the unexpected confession.
“Neto. You were talking about how solitary wasn’t so bad because you had Neto around, and it made me irritated as hell.”
“I don’t think I said it ‘wasn’t so bad’, but… really? I didn’t even realize you were feeling that way toward Neto.”
“You’re just too oblivious, that’s all.”
“I don’t think so. You don’t show much emotion yourself, Dick.”
Despite what he said, now that Yuto looked back, he felt like he knew what Dick was talking about. When Yuto had come down with a fever after coming out of solitary, Dick was the first to mention Neto, and he in fact did seem angry at the time. Yuto hadn’t even realized it was jealousy until now.
“Neto is a friend. I care about him a lot, but I don’t feel anything more towards him.”
“I know. I’m just being petty. Don’t mind me.”
“You met with Neto in LA, didn’t you?”
Yuto recalled the murder of Jim Faber. He wanted to know if Dick was behind it, but he felt like the question would shatter the fleeting happiness they shared, and couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“—You ran away from me that time. Did you not want to see me that badly?”
“Of course I ran. I knew that if I crossed paths with you, we’d end up like this. I’m afraid of you.”
“Afraid?” Yuto was surprised by the unexpected choice of words. ‘Afraid’ was that last thing he would associate with someone like Dick.
“Yeah. You’re the biggest threat to me right now.”
Yuto was about to ask him what he meant, when there was a knocking at the door. The room service had arrived.
Dick went to get the door in his bathrobe, and came back carrying a tray of pizza with a bottle of olive oil. He placed the tray on a table and didn’t spare a glance at the pizza, instead picking up the bottle of olive oil and coming over to Yuto.
“Lie down on your stomach,” he said, twisting the cap off and sitting on the edge of the bed. Yuto meekly did as he was told, leaving his back vulnerable and exposed to Dick. He twitched as he felt the cold oil dripping from his lower body downwards.
“Is it cold? I’ll warm it up for you, don’t worry.”
Dick’s hand gently massaged his buttocks. Yuto hugged the pillow, feeling equal parts shame and comfort.
Dick’s finger slid back and forth over the crack. Yuto found himself clenching each time it caressed his sensitive spot, but Dick patiently waited until the tension subsided.
Once Yuto started to relax, Dick also lay down beside him on the bed. They were both lying on their sides, facing each other as Dick caressed him lovingly. Yuto propped his top leg up on Dick’s hip and let the sweet moans escape from his lips.
Dick showered him with meltingly sweet kisses as he slid his finger inside. The tightly-closed spot had loosened up completely. It easily gave way to Dick’s touch, swallowing his long finger up to its base.
“Does it hurt?” Dick asked.
“I’m alright. It’s fine…”
Yuto felt no pain even when Dick added another finger. He even felt a sort of comfort at the sensation of Dick’s fingers rubbing him from the inside.
“Let me know if it gets painful. I’ll stop.”
Dick’s kindness and concern for him filled Yuto with happiness. He was always like this – despite his cold appearance, Dick always cared about him from the bottom of his heart. He was in fact a deeply caring and loving man.
Dick was a kind man. It made Yuto’s heart ache all the more that such a kind man was now living solely for revenge. It filled him with sadness that Dick had to suppress his overflowing kindness so he could play the part of a ruthless man. He couldn’t help but wish that Dick would choose an easier path of life.
Friendship. Pity. Love. He didn’t care what people called it. The overflowing endearment he felt for the man didn’t need a name. He loved Dick – that was all there was to it. He loved the man more than anything, and wanted him to be happier than anyone else. He wished for it desperately – as if it were a prayer.
“Ah… nh…!”
Dick’s two fingers pressed against a spot on his inner wall. He felt a deep pleasure well up inside him, enough to make him shiver. Yuto shook his head slightly.
“No… not there… mmh…!”
“You mean ‘that’s the spot’, right? You’re practically melting. I feel like I could fit my whole fist in there. Want to try?”
“Shut… up…”
Yuto rolled over, turning his back toward Dick.
“Hey, did I make you angry? I was just kidding, you know,” Dick explained hastily, making excuses in a manner unlike him. Yuto pressed his cheek against the sheets and smiled at how agitated Dick was.
“I’m not angry. I was telling you to hurry up and come to me. Get the message.”
Dick sounded relieved as he hugged Yuto from behind.
“Relax yourself,” he murmured. Yuto rolled onto his belly and spread his legs, lifting his hips slightly to make it easier for Dick to enter. He felt the heat of the man’s penis as it pushed through the moist flesh and slowly inched its way deep inside.
“Ah…!”
Although there was not much pain, his breath almost stopped at the sheer volume of the member inside him, so much more substantial than his fingers.
“Can I move? Or not yet?”
“Yeah… go ahead. I want to feel more of you inside me.”
Dick’s member seemed to rejoice at being welcomed into Yuto after being deprived for so long. It thrust vigorously in and out of Yuto’s narrow opening without giving so much as a pause.
Dick lifted Yuto’s hips and made him crouch on all fours, and plunged deep inside him. He inserted himself all the way before slowly pulling out. As he repeated the motion, Yuto’s upper body gradually began to sag. Eventually, he ended up in an embarrassing posture, with his cheek pressed against the sheets and his butt up in the air.
“Yuto… Yuto…!” Dick called his name over and over in a raspy voice as he moved his hips. He was usually so aloof, but he was now completely occupied with devouring him. The fact made Yuto happier than he could describe. He wished Dick could drown in his desire – to think only about him, and even become crazed in his love for him.
“Dick… yes… more… deeper…!”
The vigorous movement was painful, but he found himself saying things to encourage Dick out of his desire to provoke him.
“More? Are you sure, Yuto? I’m going to end up breaking you.”
“I don’t care. Tear me to pieces… please… I want you to.”
Dick had paused his movement. Feeling impatient, Yuto began grinding his own hips against Dick’s. His narrow opening, ripe and moist, made wet sounds as it devoured Dick’s thick penis.
“Please… thrust into me… I want you. Please, Dick…”
Yuto sniffled tearfully as he begged openly. All he wanted was for Dick to make love to him, so passionately that he wouldn’t be able to think of anything else. He wanted the both of them to succumb to their animalistic instincts, letting them fall as far as they could go.
“Yuto… my adorable Yuto…”
Dick firmly held Yuto’s hips with both hands before starting to move vigorously again. Yuto felt dizzy from the violent movement. He gritted his teeth so he wouldn’t bite his tongue.
Pleasure mingled with pain, making him unsure of what he was feeling.
But he knew from the bottom of his heart that he was content. Dick wanted him. They were one. That reality was enough to satisfy him completely.
“Mmh…!”
He heard Dick groan. As soon as he knew that his beloved had climaxed, Yuto found himself filled by a sense of fulfilment as he let his consciousness slip away.
Yuto and Rob decided to have an early dinner at the hotel restaurant.
During their meal, Rob told him that not only was Jessica a very good lobbyist, she also happened to be the president’s niece.
Getting close with her would clearly make it easier to obtain internal information about Smith-Backs Company. That was probably Dick’s aim. The system development company that he supposedly worked for was probably a front for the CIA.
Rob’s cell phone rang just as they had finished their meal and were about to head back to their room. It was an invite from one of his friends.
“Out? Right now?” Rob said. “Oh, I don’t know…”
“Why not? Go ahead,” Yuto said. “I’m a little tired, so I’m going to head up and take a rest.”
Rob nodded and looked at him apologetically before letting his friend know that he was going.
“Sorry,” he said, once he hung up his phone. “It was from an old co-worker. He was with the rest of the gang and wanted to know if I could join.”
“Don’t mind me. Go on and have fun.”
After seeing Rob off, Yuto returned to their room alone. He emerged from his shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, and let himself fall onto the bed without bothering to get dressed.
Although he had finally reunited with Dick again, he didn’t feel happy at all. In fact, he felt even more depressed than before.
Dick’s cold gaze had shattered Yuto’s heart. He knew that it was inevitable, since they were both meeting under false identities. But he wished he could have at least caught a glimpse of joy in Dick’s face over their reunion. If even for one second, he wished that Dick would look at him like he used to.
Yuto rolled over onto his back and gazed blankly at the ceiling. He could see Dick’s face before him, even with his eyes open. But the man’s face was as cold as ice. He was giving Yuto the cold shoulder – it was hard to see it any other way.
Yuto tossed and turned in agony, gritting his teeth at the storm of violent emotions whirling inside him.
—I miss him. I miss him so much. I want to see Dick so badly.
If they were alone, without anyone else, perhaps they could talk like the old days. Perhaps they could take their masks off and genuinely celebrate their reunion.
He remembered Dick’s hotel room number. If he left now, he would arrive in time to see him.
Yuto could no longer sit still. He changed back into his suit and burst out of the room. He got into a taxi in front of the hotel and told the driver to take him to the hotel where Dick was staying. He felt like his heart would burst from the alternating waves of anxiety and anticipation.
But as soon as he stepped into the lobby of the hotel, one thought stopped him in his tracks. What if Dick and Jessica were staying in the same room? If they were staying together and Yuto just barged in, he would look suspicious.
After mulling things over, Yuto considered calling the hotel front desk from his cell phone and asking them to call up to Dick’s room.
He made for a corner in the lobby to make his call and took one step before he was grabbed by the arm from behind. Yuto turned around in surprise and gasped when he realized who it was.
“Dick…”
Dick was stony-faced, looking down at him icily.
“Come,” he said shortly, breaking into a brisk walk. Yuto hastily followed after him. Dick stepped into the elevator and immediately closed the door. They didn’t exchange a single word as they reached the eighth floor and continued walking down the long hallway.
Dick opened the door to Room 809 and turned back to Yuto. Yuto stood hesitantly, but was soon shoved inside the room by force. Although it was a twin room, there was no luggage or belongings appearing to belong to a woman. Yuto was relieved to find that Dick was staying alone.
“Dick, I’m sorry for coming out of the blue.”
“Don’t call me by that name. I’m Steve Muller now,” Dick said curtly. “You’re only making things harder for me by following me around like this. Don’t you get the message?”
Yuto’s anticipation crumbled instantly as he was faced with the anger that practically radiated off of Dick’s body. Even though they were alone together now, Dick’s attitude was as icy as ever. He didn’t even show a hint of happiness at their reunion.
To Dick, Yuto was nothing more than a part of the past that he had left behind. Faced with the harsh truth, Yuto could find no words to say.
He had come out to see Dick to show him how he felt. It had been his own way of saying, I haven’t forgotten about you. I’ve always wanted to see you. Yuto had meant to express these feelings in this gesture, but to Dick, it had been nothing but a nuisance. It had been one-sided all along.
“What did you come here for?”
“What did I…?” Yuto repeated in shock. Dick hadn’t caught the ball he had thrown. It hadn’t even touched his glove; instead, it had hit him in the back and fallen to the ground.
Dick was not willing to play catch with Yuto. That much was clear.
“Were you ordered to come here and keep watch on me?”
“Keep watch…?”
“I know you’ve joined the FBI. Did you think that you would find out where Corvus by keeping tabs on me?”
Yuto stared at Dick’s chiseled face in confusion.
Was Dick being so cold to him because he was part of the FBI? Was it because he was with an opposing organization?
“Yes, I did become an FBI agent, but it wasn’t to be at odds with you. In fact, I joined because I wanted to see you again—”
“Stop making excuses. I gave you information about Corvus because you were innocent, and I wanted you to be freed from prison. Not to lend a hand to the FBI. But lo and behold, as soon as you got out, you went and became their dog. I didn’t expect you to take a job that directly interferes with mine. Talk about biting the hand that feeds you,” Dick said bitterly, turning away. It was almost as if he was saying that he couldn’t stand to look at someone so detestable.
“Dick, no. You’ve got it wrong. I never meant to get in your way—”
“Then quit the FBI right now. If you can’t, then get out of my sight. You’re a hindrance.”
He had a point; the CIA and FBI were two opposing organizations. One was plotting Corvus’ assassination; the other was determined to arrest him.
Although Yuto was more than aware of that, he had believed it was a problem that arose from their positions, and not something that would hinder their personal relationship. He had never dreamed that Dick would shun him so strongly.
Yuto cursed his foolishness. He knew how much Dick was invested in chasing after Corvus. He knew all too well that Dick was gambling his own life in order for a chance to kill Corvus.
He wanted to understand Dick, wanted to know him better than anyone else. But despite his intentions, he had only been thinking about himself all this time. That realization was perhaps the most embarrassing of all.
“—I’m sorry,” Yuto said. “I didn’t think things through. I just thought that if I joined the FBI and started my own chase after Corvus, I’d be able to see you one day. Be in the same world as you. That was it – that was simply all there was to it. I didn’t realize I’d be nothing but a nuisance to you by chasing after you.”
His voice trembled. Yuto balled his hands into fists, desperately suppressing his distraught emotions.
“Why did you want to see me again?”
Yuto was confused by Dick’s question. He knew that Dick was already aware of his feelings.
“Are you still hung up on that time we had sex?”
“Dick…?”
Dick strode over and roughly grabbed Yuto’s chin.
“Was it that good? I’ll admit, the sex was satisfying. You came on to me so coyly that it got me in the mood. And it wasn’t bad. It was all the more exciting because of the situation. If you’re that desperate, I can do you a favour and sleep with you just one more time. But it’ll be the last. Have your fill, and never come after me again.”
His blue eyes gazed piercingly down at Yuto from behind his spectacles. Yuto could only stare back at him in stunned silence.
He could feel his hands and feet getting cold as the blood drained from his body. It wasn’t that he was hurt by Dick’s words; rather, he was heartbroken that Dick was willing to go so far to push him away.
No matter how much of a nuisance Yuto was to Dick now, he hadn’t expected Dick to ridicule that moment that they shared. It was supposed to have been an important moment for them. It wasn’t just physical intimacy; they had intimately shared their hearts as well. They had sought each other, deeply and with their very souls.
“If that’s what you’ve come for, then hurry up and get in bed. Let’s get it over with.”
It was enough. He didn’t want to hear any more.
He was the one making Dick say such heartless things. Dick was trying to cut all ties between them by purposely saying such hurtful things.
“What’s wrong? How about you say something?”
Yuto gentle pushed back against Dick’s chest. “…It’s fine, Dick.”
“What is?”
“I know you’re not serious about what you’re saying. So just stop.”
Dick twisted his lips into a sneer. “How do you know I’m not being serious? Don’t let your wishful thinking get ahead of you.”
“I do know! How could I not?” Yuto exclaimed. He let his turbulent emotions take over, shaking his head vehemently. “If I’m that much of a nuisance to you, I’ll never set foot anywhere near you again. So, please… don’t trample over that moment we shared back then. I don’t care if you’re pretending to. That night we spent together is still a precious memory for me. Even if you end up forgetting about it, I’ll still remember ‘til the day I die. I could never forget.”
Yuto turned his back to Dick and slowly started walking toward the exit. He didn’t want to make Dick suffer anymore, or make him say any more hurtful words. That was the only thing on his mind.
As his hand closed around the doorknob, Yuto hesitated a moment before saying his last words.
“Dick, I wish you well. I’ll be praying for your happiness, wherever you go.”
He felt a strong déjà vu at his own words. Yuto remembered he had said the same words to Dick just before the man escaped from prison. That time, he had seen Dick off with a smile. But now, he couldn’t even so much as muster one. He couldn’t even bring himself to look Dick in the face.
Yuto felt like he was being torn apart as he went to open the door. Just then, he felt a strong impact against his back. For a moment, he didn’t know what had hit him. As soon as he realized that Dick was hugging him from behind, his vision blurred with tears.
“Dick…?”
A pair of strong arms were holding him back. He was held in an embrace that was so tight, he had no room to budge.
“Dick, why….”
Tears streamed from Yuto’s eyes. Dick still said nothing. Yuto could only feel the man’s gasping breaths against his cheek.
Yuto was suddenly flipped around and hugged from the front. His tears flowed even more freely as he was pressed against the man’s broad chest.
Yuto tried to lift his face to look at Dick, but the man kept turning away. He looked like he was in pain, like he was desperately trying to hold back.
When Yuto reached out and gently stroked Dick’s cheek, the man flinched.
Yuto hesitantly cupped Dick’s face with his hands. Dick’s eyes were cast down as he took several deep breaths. He refused to look at Yuto, as if he were afraid of him.
“Dick, look at me,” Yuto murmured, taking Dick’s glasses away. He then gently ruffled Dick’s neatly-slicked hair. By doing that, he felt like the man in front of him was slowly returning to the Dick that he knew.
“Please, look me in the eye,” Yuto pleaded. Dick finally opened his eyes. They were close enough to feel each other’s breaths as their gazes collided. As soon as he saw those wavering blue eyes, Yuto was sure that the man in front of him was the man he knew all too well.
It was Dick himself – the same Dick Burnford from Schelger Prison.
“Yuto, you always find a way to break my heart. Why…?” Dick said, his voice strained. He ran his fingertips along Yuto’s face searchingly, from his forehead to his temple, down his nose to his lips. His movements were hesitant, like that of a blind person using his sense of touch to ascertain what was in front of him.
“I knew my will would be swayed as soon as I saw you. That’s why I didn’t want to.”
“Dick… you don’t hate me?”
Would Dick forgive him for becoming an FBI agent? Yuto couldn’t help but ask, as he was desperate to know.
“How could I hate you? Even if you killed me, I still couldn’t hate you.”
Yuto felt something hot welling up inside his chest. It turned in to joy that raced through his entire body in a blink of an eye, and flowed in the form of more tears from his eyes.
“Dick… I missed you so much. All I could think about was you after we parted ways. I always wondered what you were feeling, where you were, what you were doing. It’s all I’ve thought about, all this time.”
Yuto almost felt as if a part of Dick’s soul had found its way into his heart when they made love that night at Schelger Prison. It was pure, blind attachment that couldn’t be rationalized.
“I was the opposite,” Dick said. “I tried not to remember you. Thinking of you made me lose my focus, made me unable to move forward. I tried my best to forget about you.”
Although it manifested differently, Dick was essentially saying that he felt the same way as Yuto.
He hadn’t been the only one. They had both shared in this feeling of suffering even though they were far apart.
Yuto clasped Dick’s hands and pressed his cheek against the man’s large palm. Its warmth gave him so much joy that he kissed Dick’s hand over and over. Dick also held Yuto tightly, nibbling at his cheek and earlobe his breath hot against Yuto’s skin.
They hadn’t even kissed, but already Yuto was out of breath. He was filled with a sense of arousal and euphoria that almost felt like the moment of climax. He couldn’t keep himself sane.
Dick pressed his hips against his own. Yuto could feel the man’s desire – it had already taken shape under his pants and was yearning for Yuto. Yuto was the same. He wanted Dick, and he meant it with all his heart. But he wasn’t sure if he should follow through.
He wondered if he should let himself by carried away by his desires. Considering the future, perhaps it was best to part ways without doing anything instead. That way, he could suffer now, but wouldn’t have to suffer later.
But on the other hand, here was Dick, after all the time he had spent searching. And he was finally returning Yuto’s feelings.
“Dick, what should I do…?” Yuto pleaded painfully, at the mercy of the growing heat in his body. “What are we supposed to do?”
“There’s nothing else we can do now. You think I’m going to let you go home?” Dick smiled, with an expression tinged with resignation and passion. But it was the first gentle expression that Dick had shown him since they reunited.
“Let’s just forget about everything for one moment. Forget about our positions, our jobs, what we have to do. Just for this moment.”
Just now. Just for this moment. There was no other choice. Even so, Yuto could feel his heart ache.
It was the same – like that time they had made love in prison. Although their situations were different now, this scene was the same.
Were they only allowed to love each other within a limited time and space? Were they not allowed to promise anything more in the future?
“Not up for it, Yuto?”
He wished he could say he wasn’t. He wished he could say that he didn’t want such a fruitless relationship – where they would love each other but have to part ways again, and cut the thread that had connected them. But he knew he was being selfish. Yuto had no right to block the path that Dick was trying to head down.
Yuto laid his head on Dick’s chest, feeling a sense of frustration.
“Yuto?”
“I can’t go back now, either. I can’t just get up and leave you with how I’m feeling now.”
Dick scooped up Yuto in his arms. Yuto felt himself choke up with emotion as he threw his arms around Dick’s neck.
Content warning: sex scene
Dick climbed on top of Yuto as soon as he was laid down on the bed. His hot tongue slid deep into Yuto’s mouth. Yuto lost himself in kissing Dick back. Like a sweet poison, the man’s kiss travelled to every corner of his body and make him feel numb and tingly. The last of Yuto’s rational sense had evaporated long ago.
There was no need for thinking. Like beasts controlled by their animal instinct, they blindly and desperately sought each other. They couldn’t be bothered by the little things; they simply lent themselves to their unleashed desires.
Dick stripped Yuto naked and ran his hands over his exposed skin like a hungry animal. No matter where Dick touched him, Yuto only felt a sweet anticipation. He twitched and trembled in expectation as the sheets became rumpled and disheveled underneath him.
Partway through, Dick also hastily ripped his suit off and pressed his bare skin against Yuto’s. Yuto was filled with bliss at the comforting sensation of their skin touching, and wound his arms around Dick.
“Dick… Dick…” Every time he called the man deliriously, the man kissed him back. Both of their members were hard with desire, and were so aroused that they dripped with precum every time they rubbed against each other. Yet, neither of them thought to reach down and fondle each other directly. They were both afraid of climaxing, because they knew that if they came, this moment of excitement would end.
Dick spread Yuto’s legs wide open and rubbed the inside of his thighs seductively. He rubbed the area at the base of his thighs, getting dangerously close to his sensitive spot. At the same time, the man licked each of his pointed nipples in turn. Yuto desperately tried to suppress the moans that threatened to escape his lips.
He felt impatient at the man’s fingertips that seemed to tease him, coming close but never touching him where he wanted. As Dick continued to caress his chest, Yuto felt his member grow even more engorged and strained as it yearned to release its desire. Even though no one had touched him there, he felt like he was about to come.
His penis was so swollen, it was painful. He felt a throbbing pain, as if there was a gaping wound. His member was already wet from tip to base with precum. Unable to bear it any longer, Yuto grinded his hips against Dick’s.
“Dick, please…”
Yuto’s hips lifted from the sheets, thrusting as if to seduce Dick. He couldn’t control it; his body was moving on its own.
“You want to come already? Can’t hold it anymore?” Dick whispered. Yuto nodded. Dick’s fingers closed around Yuto’s dripping penis. After a few light pumps, Yuto felt like he was already about to climax. He writhed wordlessly.
“I’m coming—”
“Not yet. Hold it in.”
Dick shifted his body and brought his face between Yuto’s legs.
“Dick, no… I want us to come together.”
“Not until I get a good taste of you first.”
Ignoring Yuto’s desperate wish to become one, Dick immersed himself in pleasuring Yuto orally. He gripped Yuto’s base tightly, preventing him from ejaculating as he slid Yuto’s member deep into his scalding mouth.
“Ah… no…!”
Every time Dick’s lips moved up and down, Yuto’s muscles in his inner thighs twitched. He tried to push Dick’s head away the closer he came to his climax, but Dick instead grabbed his hands and pressed them against the sheets.
Yuto bucked and writhed as he shook his head from side to side. The pleasure was so strong, so overwhelming, that tears welled up in his eyes. Yuto continued to moan in ecstasy, unable to do anything but submit to Dick’s rough fellatio.
“Nh… hah… Dick… please, not so rough… I can’t…”
Although he didn’t want to climax alone, Yuto’s body had left his control and was completely at mercy of Dick’s caresses.
He could feel the tip of Dick’s tongue pry at the opening, and the sensation of the man taking him deep into his mouth. Even his ears were being violated by the wet sounds from below. Before he knew it, his hips were making small thrusts in tandem with Dick’s movements. He was embarrassed, but there was nothing he could do. A mix of pleasure, shame, and arousal came over Yuto and pushed him further to the edge.
“Ah… I’m almost… Dick…!”
Dick finally loosened his grip on Yuto’s base. Yuto released himself into Dick’s mouth, feeling a pleasure violent enough to almost make him pass out. He felt his mind go blank as his entire body went limp. His chest rose and fell as he took deep, ragged breaths.
“We’ve only just started, Yuto,” Dick whispered as he caressed Yuto’s chest.
Yuto felt a shiver down his spine at Dick’s low voice that dripped with desire. Dick ran his hand along Yuto’s side, and his hot touch was enough to put him in the mood again, despite having climaxed just moments before.
“Let me do you, too,” Yuto said, reaching toward Dick’s erect member, but Dick gently pushed back.
“Later,” he said. Dick suddenly got up and picked up the phone. Yuto absently stared at Dick’s lips, catching his breath as he wondered who the man was calling.
“A cheese pizza, please. If you could bring a bottle of olive oil on the side. Yeah. Thanks.”
He was ordering room service. Dick hung up the phone and crawled on top of him again. Yuto felt comfort in feeling the man’s weight on him as he smiled and pecked the top of his nose.
“Some sustenance before the big game?”
“No way. I’d be too busy eating you up to pay attention to anything else.”
“Then why did you order a pizza?”
Dick lovingly brushed Yuto’s shiny black hair back, sighing with a wry smile.
“Stop being so cute. I don’t want the pizza. I just need the oil.”
“Oh.” Yuto flushed, embarrassed about his cluelessness as he finally figured out what Dick had ordered the pizza for.
“One bottle might not be enough,” Dick teased as he gently bit Yuto’s earlobe. “I’ll drizzle you with oil and savour every bit. You better brace yourself.”
“Dick…!” Feeling ticklish, Yuto playfully pushed against the man’s chest, but Dick didn’t budge. Dick decided to take it a step further by tickling Yuto in the ribs and belly button. Yuto thrashed on the bed, out of breath with laughter.
“Stop it! Stupid Dick… ah… damnit…!”
He couldn’t escape; Dick was too heavy. As a last resort, Yuto sank his teeth into Dick’s bicep, hard enough to leave marks.
“Hey, no biting. That’s against the rules.”
“What rules? You started it,” Yuto said grumpily.
“Some things never change,” Dick said exasperatedly, cocking an eyebrow at him. “You really hate to lose, don’t you?”
“And you really love to tease, huh,” Yuto sniffed. Dick shook his head in resignation and put his arms around Yuto.
“It was my fault. I apologize. Let’s make up.”
“As long as you understand.”
Dick was still crouched over Yuto, his head pressed against the pillow laughing. Yuto couldn’t help but laugh with him. Afterwards, they exchanged light kisses over and over.
“I can finally make love to you in a clean bed. It feels like a dream.”
His words made Yuto recall a memory. When they had made love on the flattened cardboard, Dick had said bitterly that he had wanted their first time to be on a big, neatly-made bed.
It was a small and inconsequential piece of happiness, but Yuto felt love for it all the same. It was endearing all the more because he knew it was only momentary.
They would drift far apart again as soon as they left this room. Even if they crossed paths somewhere, they would have to pretend they were strangers.
Yuto tried to brush away the uncontrollable sense of despair that threatened to creep into his heart, and instead ran his fingers through Dick’s hair. This colour suited him well, too, but he liked Dick’s dazzling blond hair even more.
“Your scar is gone,” Yuto said, running his fingers along Dick’s forehead. Although it was slightly tinged red, it was almost unnoticeable.
“After I escaped, they forced me to go in to a hospital right away because they didn’t want me roaming around with noticeable scars.”
“—Dick, can I ask you something?”
Dick’s face clouded over at Yuto’s sombre tone.
“If you’re going to ask about Corvus, I can’t tell you.”
“I know. I wasn’t going to. It’s about the woman you were with, Jessica. Have you already…?”
“Have I already what?” Dick asked, sounding genuinely curious. Yuto awkwardly averted his gaze.
“I’m asking if you’ve already slept with her. You two seemed really close.”
“What, are you jealous?”
“I’m not — alright, I admit it. I am jealous,” Yuto admitted reluctantly, knowing that it would be just as obvious if he denied it.
“I haven’t slept with her yet,” Dick murmured as he stroked Yuto’s hair. “But I will if I need to. She’s a valuable source of information.”
“I see.” Although Yuto was agitated, he made sure to act nonchalant, putting on the mask of a laidback, understanding guy. He didn’t care if Dick knew he was jealous, but he didn’t have a say in who Dick slept with. It wasn’t his place to do so.
“But you know what?” Dick said, nuzzling Yuto’s neck, his expression playful. “I think I’d fail that mission. Junior here is useless when it comes to women.”
As a smile crept over Yuto’s face, Dick kissed his collarbone and asked him a question back.
“How about you? What’s going on between you and that guy?”
“That guy? You mean Rob?”
“Yeah. Some renowned professor, huh? Either way, he looked like a creep.”
“How rude. Rob is a good guy. He’s actually helping me with my investigation. We’ve only met recently, but I’m grateful for all the help he’s giving me.”
Dick’s expression hardened when he heard Yuto praising Rob.
“But he’s gay, right? Has he tried to come onto you?”
“How did you know?” Yuto blurted in surprise. Dick looked even more annoyed.
“So he did come onto you.”
“Not about that – I mean about Rob being gay. Were you able to tell just by looking at him?”
“I got a feeling. The way he was looking at Jessica was pretty cold. Any guy who likes women, no matter how much of a gentleman he is, wouldn’t be able to help but leer at a bombshell like her.”
To Yuto, Rob had appeared nothing but good-natured. He was genuinely surprised at Dick’s sharp observational skills.
“How do you know he’s gay?” Dick asked. “He suddenly came out to you when you’ve just met each other?”
“Well…” Yuto couldn’t bring himself to say that Rob had taken him to gay bar and kissed him.
“He came onto you, didn’t he? Damn! That bastard!”
Yuto found it strange that Dick seemed genuinely angry.
“Are you jealous, too, Dick? That’s not like you.”
“How? I’m a pretty jealous guy, though it may not seem like it. You just don’t know.”
“You don’t seem like the jealous type.” Yuto laced his fingers with Dick’s long fingers as if to console him and his bad mood.
“I was jealous in prison, too. You saw.”
“Jealous of who?” Yuto exclaimed in surprise at the unexpected confession.
“Neto. You were talking about how solitary wasn’t so bad because you had Neto around, and it made me irritated as hell.”
“I don’t think I said it ‘wasn’t so bad’, but… really? I didn’t even realize you were feeling that way toward Neto.”
“You’re just too oblivious, that’s all.”
“I don’t think so. You don’t show much emotion yourself, Dick.”
Despite what he said, now that Yuto looked back, he felt like he knew what Dick was talking about. When Yuto had come down with a fever after coming out of solitary, Dick was the first to mention Neto, and he in fact did seem angry at the time. Yuto hadn’t even realized it was jealousy until now.
“Neto is a friend. I care about him a lot, but I don’t feel anything more towards him.”
“I know. I’m just being petty. Don’t mind me.”
“You met with Neto in LA, didn’t you?”
Yuto recalled the murder of Jim Faber. He wanted to know if Dick was behind it, but he felt like the question would shatter the fleeting happiness they shared, and couldn’t bring himself to say it.
“—You ran away from me that time. Did you not want to see me that badly?”
“Of course I ran. I knew that if I crossed paths with you, we’d end up like this. I’m afraid of you.”
“Afraid?” Yuto was surprised by the unexpected choice of words. ‘Afraid’ was that last thing he would associate with someone like Dick.
“Yeah. You’re the biggest threat to me right now.”
Yuto was about to ask him what he meant, when there was a knocking at the door. The room service had arrived.
Dick went to get the door in his bathrobe, and came back carrying a tray of pizza with a bottle of olive oil. He placed the tray on a table and didn’t spare a glance at the pizza, instead picking up the bottle of olive oil and coming over to Yuto.
“Lie down on your stomach,” he said, twisting the cap off and sitting on the edge of the bed. Yuto meekly did as he was told, leaving his back vulnerable and exposed to Dick. He twitched as he felt the cold oil dripping from his lower body downwards.
“Is it cold? I’ll warm it up for you, don’t worry.”
Dick’s hand gently massaged his buttocks. Yuto hugged the pillow, feeling equal parts shame and comfort.
Dick’s finger slid back and forth over the crack. Yuto found himself clenching each time it caressed his sensitive spot, but Dick patiently waited until the tension subsided.
Once Yuto started to relax, Dick also lay down beside him on the bed. They were both lying on their sides, facing each other as Dick caressed him lovingly. Yuto propped his top leg up on Dick’s hip and let the sweet moans escape from his lips.
Dick showered him with meltingly sweet kisses as he slid his finger inside. The tightly-closed spot had loosened up completely. It easily gave way to Dick’s touch, swallowing his long finger up to its base.
“Does it hurt?” Dick asked.
“I’m alright. It’s fine…”
Yuto felt no pain even when Dick added another finger. He even felt a sort of comfort at the sensation of Dick’s fingers rubbing him from the inside.
“Let me know if it gets painful. I’ll stop.”
Dick’s kindness and concern for him filled Yuto with happiness. He was always like this – despite his cold appearance, Dick always cared about him from the bottom of his heart. He was in fact a deeply caring and loving man.
Dick was a kind man. It made Yuto’s heart ache all the more that such a kind man was now living solely for revenge. It filled him with sadness that Dick had to suppress his overflowing kindness so he could play the part of a ruthless man. He couldn’t help but wish that Dick would choose an easier path of life.
Friendship. Pity. Love. He didn’t care what people called it. The overflowing endearment he felt for the man didn’t need a name. He loved Dick – that was all there was to it. He loved the man more than anything, and wanted him to be happier than anyone else. He wished for it desperately – as if it were a prayer.
“Ah… nh…!”
Dick’s two fingers pressed against a spot on his inner wall. He felt a deep pleasure well up inside him, enough to make him shiver. Yuto shook his head slightly.
“No… not there… mmh…!”
“You mean ‘that’s the spot’, right? You’re practically melting. I feel like I could fit my whole fist in there. Want to try?”
“Shut… up…”
Yuto rolled over, turning his back toward Dick.
“Hey, did I make you angry? I was just kidding, you know,” Dick explained hastily, making excuses in a manner unlike him. Yuto pressed his cheek against the sheets and smiled at how agitated Dick was.
“I’m not angry. I was telling you to hurry up and come to me. Get the message.”
Dick sounded relieved as he hugged Yuto from behind.
“Relax yourself,” he murmured. Yuto rolled onto his belly and spread his legs, lifting his hips slightly to make it easier for Dick to enter. He felt the heat of the man’s penis as it pushed through the moist flesh and slowly inched its way deep inside.
“Ah…!”
Although there was not much pain, his breath almost stopped at the sheer volume of the member inside him, so much more substantial than his fingers.
“Can I move? Or not yet?”
“Yeah… go ahead. I want to feel more of you inside me.”
Dick’s member seemed to rejoice at being welcomed into Yuto after being deprived for so long. It thrust vigorously in and out of Yuto’s narrow opening without giving so much as a pause.
Dick lifted Yuto’s hips and made him crouch on all fours, and plunged deep inside him. He inserted himself all the way before slowly pulling out. As he repeated the motion, Yuto’s upper body gradually began to sag. Eventually, he ended up in an embarrassing posture, with his cheek pressed against the sheets and his butt up in the air.
“Yuto… Yuto…!” Dick called his name over and over in a raspy voice as he moved his hips. He was usually so aloof, but he was now completely occupied with devouring him. The fact made Yuto happier than he could describe. He wished Dick could drown in his desire – to think only about him, and even become crazed in his love for him.
“Dick… yes… more… deeper…!”
The vigorous movement was painful, but he found himself saying things to encourage Dick out of his desire to provoke him.
“More? Are you sure, Yuto? I’m going to end up breaking you.”
“I don’t care. Tear me to pieces… please… I want you to.”
Dick had paused his movement. Feeling impatient, Yuto began grinding his own hips against Dick’s. His narrow opening, ripe and moist, made wet sounds as it devoured Dick’s thick penis.
“Please… thrust into me… I want you. Please, Dick…”
Yuto sniffled tearfully as he begged openly. All he wanted was for Dick to make love to him, so passionately that he wouldn’t be able to think of anything else. He wanted the both of them to succumb to their animalistic instincts, letting them fall as far as they could go.
“Yuto… my adorable Yuto…”
Dick firmly held Yuto’s hips with both hands before starting to move vigorously again. Yuto felt dizzy from the violent movement. He gritted his teeth so he wouldn’t bite his tongue.
Pleasure mingled with pain, making him unsure of what he was feeling.
But he knew from the bottom of his heart that he was content. Dick wanted him. They were one. That reality was enough to satisfy him completely.
“Mmh…!”
He heard Dick groan. As soon as he knew that his beloved had climaxed, Yuto found himself filled by a sense of fulfilment as he let his consciousness slip away.
