Sally rolled across the stone floor, a pulse of healing flowing through her as the Monster slumped over. With a groan, she threw up the last three floors' worth of brains into a damp puddle.
“Is that… normal?” Chuck grimaced and recoiled even though he was already standing half the room away.
“Huh?” She wiped her mouth and looked up at him. “Oh, I mean it’s semi-regular these days, so…” She shrugged.
“The stomach has a certain limit, I suppose.” Dent mirrored her shrug. “Doesn’t seem healthy, though.”
Sally rolled her eyes, although the expression was ruined by all the zombies shambling around in front of her. “Would you all move, please!” she said in a sharp tone.
With zero hesitation, all the undead immediately turned to go stand by whichever side of the wall was closest to them, leaving the central area mostly free, aside from one that had lost its legs against the large insect monster.
“Some brains are just gross like that, too.” She stretched out and clicked her back. “Tell me about the leader of the Red team.”
The other two exchanged a glance. Chuck grimaced again. “What did you want to know?”
“Who they are, for one. All I got was the name ‘Seven.’” She tilted her head at their expressions. “Is it someone I already know? Is it Jackie?”
The Druid shook his head. “No, it’s not-”
“The werewolf prick?”
“I’m… not sure who that even is?” He looked toward Dent, who shook his head slowly.
The name wasn’t much of a clue, unless it was one of the Lana clones, but they were either the Last Word or unaffiliated, according to the vampire. With their dim view of Uniques, it surely had to be a Player, but all the ones she really knew had been accounted for.
“Would it be more fun if you didn’t tell me, and I found out by surprise later on?”
Chuck shrugged. “I’m not sure ‘fun’ really cuts it.”
“Oh!” She hopped up and down. “Is it going to be like Lenard or Charlotte and a big reveal that one of the grunts was the big shot themself?”
“Sally,” he rubbed his face. “We didn’t say it was someone you knew.”
“Why are you wasting my brain-buff time then,” she huffed and stomped towards the next stairs.
Edward winced as the skeletal horse thundered through the jungle. “Just because we were at odds on occasion, it doesn’t mean I don’t want him back.”
“At odds,” Lucius emoted some rolling eyes. “He killed you three and a half times and you were sour about it.”
“Yeah, well…” his blue eyes looked out into the thick vegetation as they careened past. “I’m here and I’m helping, okay?”
Humphrey said nothing, but kept his glare on the way ahead. After the demon had told them that Chuck and Dent were helping the zombie with the dungeon, they had changed course. No point getting there and not being needed. There were bigger fish to fry.
Sally panted as she looked up at the ceiling. “Wow, that was quite painful.”
Chuck loomed over her, his face pale. “I’ve… never seen legs bend that way. Like noodles.”
“Right? They’re a little numb still.” She shuffled up to a sitting position and exhaled. All the bones had clicked back into place and visually they were fine. “Gravity, huh?”
The Druid helped her feet and looked around at the room, the stonework scored by dark lines from the battle. Dozens of zombies lay pulped or severed in pieces.
“Perhaps that is my fault.” Dent sighed from over by the wall. “I meant ‘up’ as in move forward, not ‘jump up’.”
“We don’t usually shout commands.” She wobbled as feeling returned to her legs. “Unless it’s something irrelevant and comical. Shattering my legs was neither.” She took a step forward and winced. “Well, in hindsight, kinda amusing.”
Chuck held his face and rubbed at his eyes. “I feel like this whole venture has been penance for making you wait to meet me.”
Sally didn’t respond, but she smiled to herself as she stumbled forward. It was nice hanging the with pair after all this time, but the dungeon was getting repetitive and boring. As fun as the two were, it just made her miss being with the Outsiders more. She gave the Druid a side-eye, remembering he was a zombie with them one time. Should she tell him? While it didn’t seem fair to hold secrets, it wouldn’t benefit him in any way to know.
She put a pin in that thought and went up to the next floors doorway. “This is our plant-person now, right?”
“Yeah,” Chuck said with a nod.
“Hmm. Better stay out here and let me solo it.” She crossed her arms. “Some Uniques are very against Players, especially dungeon ones. Let me talk to them.”
“If… that’s what you want. Just call us if there's any trouble.”
She nodded and pushed through the door, into the chamber where the figure was sitting on a chair waiting. The room was furnished with basic household items—a bed, cupboards, somewhere to sit and read.
“Neat house.” She smiled. “I’m Sally.”
“You may call me… Fern. It is a shame you have come here to destroy it, isn’t it?” They remained seated in the center of the room, branch-like arms folded.
“Unless you can just let me have the reward from the top?”
“My role here is to protect the queen above. That is all.”
“Boooring.” Sally faked yawning. “You know the System is about to try to erase all Uniques, right? I guess you don’t get out much.”
“My… duties keep me-”
“Listen, I’ll cut to the chase because I’ve wasted enough time here. There’s a new Architect who hates bugs like us and intends to crush them. One of my group is powerful but dead. I want whatever you got hidden away to help bring him back.” She crossed her arms and glared at Fern.
“Your struggles are-”
“Plus, if you help me I have a cool Druid friend who you can hang with and actually leave the tower to do good in the outside world. Don’t you want to be happy? Have love and acceptance?”
Fern stared blankly at her, which wasn’t too surprising given they didn’t really have facial features to speak of. “I feel that is an unfair question. If I say no, then you will kill me.”
“Correct.”
“There is no doubt in my mind that you would win. Do you know how many Players I’ve had to fight in protecting the tower?”
Sally shook her head.
“Zero. My existence has such a singular focus, but as of yet, I am inconsequential. It fills me with rage to know that after such a long time waiting I could be erased by a manic meat sack only here on a whim because she thinks the tower can bring her dead lover back.”
She screwed her face and pouted. “I never gave up all that exposition.”
“It is written clearly on your face.” Fern stood and stretched out their limbs. “You do not even know what you seek. You are just driven by blind anger and desperation.”
“Correct,” she said and nodded.
“The invaders may follow us, but they are not to raise their hands in anger. I will escort you to the pinnacle for you to determine if your time has been well spent.”
“Neat! You should have said that earlier, so I didn’t have to throw up and break my legs.” She spun around and inhaled. “Chuckyyyy, you can come in now.”
The door opened, and the pair entered, determination on their face in expecting a fight, but soon mellowing as they saw combat wasn’t taking place.
“Extra chill from both of you, okay?” She raised her eyebrows. “We are taking the shortcut, but no touching the chocolate machines, okay?”
Chuck nodded, but Dent didn’t understand the reference.
“If you would follow me, then.” Fern drew their attention and began walking toward the door up.
Sally hummed to herself as she walked ahead. All the furniture looked well taken care of, and didn’t even have the added flair of vines or leaves she expected from a… dryad looking person. They must have been really bored sitting here alone for over a year.
“You are unlike most meat-bags, yet you are not quite a Monster either.” Fern started up the stairs with the zombie in tow.
“The world likes to create oddballs. I have my own tower of them, right here.” She pointed to where she was sure her heart was located.
“Fascinating.” The plant-person stopped by the next doorway. “And you all have acceptance in this world?”
“Not really?” Sally rubbed at her hair. “Some do abide us.” She jerked a thumb back at the two following behind. “But we get into plenty of conflict too.”
Fern tilted their head to the side. “And you would have me leave to become embroiled in this conflict?”
With a grin, the zombie shrugged. “Beats sitting around here doing nothing until someone with more ambition runs you over, right?”
A couple of seconds of silence passed before Fern turned and pushed the door open. With a wave of their hand, the Monster ready for battle calmed and fell asleep. A five-headed dragon-looking Monster—much smaller than Ruben—with each head a different color. They circled around the sleeping creature, as she tried to work out if she would have to eat all the brains, or only one to turn them.
Up the stairs to the door marked twenty. Fern pushed through again and the chamber beyond was much larger—the roof was tall and peaked to a point. In the center of the room a large Monster that looked like a humanoid bee-queen. Powerful wings buffeted the air, as the golden crown glinted in the light, in contrast to her pitch black skin.
“Forgive me, my Queen.” Fern bowed low, and the Monster vanished.
[Dungeon Complete!]
[No experience gained]
[3453 Gold]
[Jungle Token (10)]
[Spire Medallion]
[Rare Vine (3)]
Sally wrinkled up her face, double checking the items. None of it seemed to do anything, even the medallion was just a cosmetic thing.
“Your verdict, odd flesh-woman?” Fern crossed their arms.
“Where’s…” she took a deep breath, her hands shaking. None of that seemed right. “Where’s the place I put this?” From beneath the cloak she brought out the heart-shaped gemstone pendant.
Fern leaned closer and tilted their head. “I have no idea.”
Sally clenched her fist around it. No, she hadn’t just wasted time. Theo had said to come here, he wouldn’t have been wrong. Maybe she misunderstood. She started to pace around the otherwise bare room. No chests. No podiums or alcoves. No indentations on the floor.
Nothing.
“Balls!” she yelled, and threw the pendant to the floor. It shattered, sending shards of red across the drab stonework. “Double balls,” she said with a sigh. “That was unlike me.”
She rubbed at the bridge of her nose before something caught her eye. A small sliver of parchment had been left amongst the rest of the broken item. Crouching down, she lifted it up to read it.
In case of broken heart, break- oh, you did already. Theo.
“Ass,” she smiled, and wiped her eyes.
The smell of ozone hit her nostrils, and she stood up, clutching the note to her chest. Static hummed around the peaked ceiling before a glowing circle of deep green light started to emerge in mid air. A tunneled portal etched with green lines came into focus, before the dark shape of a figure dropped out onto the floor.
Dressed in a dark suit, the woman took a draw of a cigarette as she moved her long purple ponytail from in front of her face and gave the surprised zombie a wry grin.
“Jackie!” Sally gasped, her eyes wide.
“Heard you had an open Bodyguard job, yeah?” She stuck a hand in her pocket. “Oh, brought a little plus one. Hope that’s good with you?”
Her hand extended to reveal the contents.
The ginger kitten yawned and looked up at Sally with bright eyes.
Sally rolled across the stone floor, a pulse of healing flowing through her as the Monster slumped over. With a groan, she threw up the last three floors' worth of brains into a damp puddle.
“Is that… normal?” Chuck grimaced and recoiled even though he was already standing half the room away.
“Huh?” She wiped her mouth and looked up at him. “Oh, I mean it’s semi-regular these days, so…” She shrugged.
“The stomach has a certain limit, I suppose.” Dent mirrored her shrug. “Doesn’t seem healthy, though.”
Sally rolled her eyes, although the expression was ruined by all the zombies shambling around in front of her. “Would you all move, please!” she said in a sharp tone.
With zero hesitation, all the undead immediately turned to go stand by whichever side of the wall was closest to them, leaving the central area mostly free, aside from one that had lost its legs against the large insect monster.
“Some brains are just gross like that, too.” She stretched out and clicked her back. “Tell me about the leader of the Red team.”
The other two exchanged a glance. Chuck grimaced again. “What did you want to know?”
“Who they are, for one. All I got was the name ‘Seven.’” She tilted her head at their expressions. “Is it someone I already know? Is it Jackie?”
The Druid shook his head. “No, it’s not-”
“The werewolf prick?”
“I’m… not sure who that even is?” He looked toward Dent, who shook his head slowly.
The name wasn’t much of a clue, unless it was one of the Lana clones, but they were either the Last Word or unaffiliated, according to the vampire. With their dim view of Uniques, it surely had to be a Player, but all the ones she really knew had been accounted for.
“Would it be more fun if you didn’t tell me, and I found out by surprise later on?”
Chuck shrugged. “I’m not sure ‘fun’ really cuts it.”
“Oh!” She hopped up and down. “Is it going to be like Lenard or Charlotte and a big reveal that one of the grunts was the big shot themself?”
“Sally,” he rubbed his face. “We didn’t say it was someone you knew.”
“Why are you wasting my brain-buff time then,” she huffed and stomped towards the next stairs.
Edward winced as the skeletal horse thundered through the jungle. “Just because we were at odds on occasion, it doesn’t mean I don’t want him back.”
“At odds,” Lucius emoted some rolling eyes. “He killed you three and a half times and you were sour about it.”
“Yeah, well…” his blue eyes looked out into the thick vegetation as they careened past. “I’m here and I’m helping, okay?”
Humphrey said nothing, but kept his glare on the way ahead. After the demon had told them that Chuck and Dent were helping the zombie with the dungeon, they had changed course. No point getting there and not being needed. There were bigger fish to fry.
Sally panted as she looked up at the ceiling. “Wow, that was quite painful.”
Chuck loomed over her, his face pale. “I’ve… never seen legs bend that way. Like noodles.”
“Right? They’re a little numb still.” She shuffled up to a sitting position and exhaled. All the bones had clicked back into place and visually they were fine. “Gravity, huh?”
The Druid helped her feet and looked around at the room, the stonework scored by dark lines from the battle. Dozens of zombies lay pulped or severed in pieces.
“Perhaps that is my fault.” Dent sighed from over by the wall. “I meant ‘up’ as in move forward, not ‘jump up’.”
“We don’t usually shout commands.” She wobbled as feeling returned to her legs. “Unless it’s something irrelevant and comical. Shattering my legs was neither.” She took a step forward and winced. “Well, in hindsight, kinda amusing.”
Chuck held his face and rubbed at his eyes. “I feel like this whole venture has been penance for making you wait to meet me.”
Sally didn’t respond, but she smiled to herself as she stumbled forward. It was nice hanging the with pair after all this time, but the dungeon was getting repetitive and boring. As fun as the two were, it just made her miss being with the Outsiders more. She gave the Druid a side-eye, remembering he was a zombie with them one time. Should she tell him? While it didn’t seem fair to hold secrets, it wouldn’t benefit him in any way to know.
She put a pin in that thought and went up to the next floors doorway. “This is our plant-person now, right?”
“Yeah,” Chuck said with a nod.
“Hmm. Better stay out here and let me solo it.” She crossed her arms. “Some Uniques are very against Players, especially dungeon ones. Let me talk to them.”
“If… that’s what you want. Just call us if there's any trouble.”
She nodded and pushed through the door, into the chamber where the figure was sitting on a chair waiting. The room was furnished with basic household items—a bed, cupboards, somewhere to sit and read.
“Neat house.” She smiled. “I’m Sally.”
“You may call me… Fern. It is a shame you have come here to destroy it, isn’t it?” They remained seated in the center of the room, branch-like arms folded.
“Unless you can just let me have the reward from the top?”
“My role here is to protect the queen above. That is all.”
“Boooring.” Sally faked yawning. “You know the System is about to try to erase all Uniques, right? I guess you don’t get out much.”
“My… duties keep me-”
“Listen, I’ll cut to the chase because I’ve wasted enough time here. There’s a new Architect who hates bugs like us and intends to crush them. One of my group is powerful but dead. I want whatever you got hidden away to help bring him back.” She crossed her arms and glared at Fern.
“Your struggles are-”
“Plus, if you help me I have a cool Druid friend who you can hang with and actually leave the tower to do good in the outside world. Don’t you want to be happy? Have love and acceptance?”
Fern stared blankly at her, which wasn’t too surprising given they didn’t really have facial features to speak of. “I feel that is an unfair question. If I say no, then you will kill me.”
“Correct.”
“There is no doubt in my mind that you would win. Do you know how many Players I’ve had to fight in protecting the tower?”
Sally shook her head.
“Zero. My existence has such a singular focus, but as of yet, I am inconsequential. It fills me with rage to know that after such a long time waiting I could be erased by a manic meat sack only here on a whim because she thinks the tower can bring her dead lover back.”
She screwed her face and pouted. “I never gave up all that exposition.”
“It is written clearly on your face.” Fern stood and stretched out their limbs. “You do not even know what you seek. You are just driven by blind anger and desperation.”
“Correct,” she said and nodded.
“The invaders may follow us, but they are not to raise their hands in anger. I will escort you to the pinnacle for you to determine if your time has been well spent.”
“Neat! You should have said that earlier, so I didn’t have to throw up and break my legs.” She spun around and inhaled. “Chuckyyyy, you can come in now.”
The door opened, and the pair entered, determination on their face in expecting a fight, but soon mellowing as they saw combat wasn’t taking place.
“Extra chill from both of you, okay?” She raised her eyebrows. “We are taking the shortcut, but no touching the chocolate machines, okay?”
Chuck nodded, but Dent didn’t understand the reference.
“If you would follow me, then.” Fern drew their attention and began walking toward the door up.
Sally hummed to herself as she walked ahead. All the furniture looked well taken care of, and didn’t even have the added flair of vines or leaves she expected from a… dryad looking person. They must have been really bored sitting here alone for over a year.
“You are unlike most meat-bags, yet you are not quite a Monster either.” Fern started up the stairs with the zombie in tow.
“The world likes to create oddballs. I have my own tower of them, right here.” She pointed to where she was sure her heart was located.
“Fascinating.” The plant-person stopped by the next doorway. “And you all have acceptance in this world?”
“Not really?” Sally rubbed at her hair. “Some do abide us.” She jerked a thumb back at the two following behind. “But we get into plenty of conflict too.”
Fern tilted their head to the side. “And you would have me leave to become embroiled in this conflict?”
With a grin, the zombie shrugged. “Beats sitting around here doing nothing until someone with more ambition runs you over, right?”
A couple of seconds of silence passed before Fern turned and pushed the door open. With a wave of their hand, the Monster ready for battle calmed and fell asleep. A five-headed dragon-looking Monster—much smaller than Ruben—with each head a different color. They circled around the sleeping creature, as she tried to work out if she would have to eat all the brains, or only one to turn them.
Up the stairs to the door marked twenty. Fern pushed through again and the chamber beyond was much larger—the roof was tall and peaked to a point. In the center of the room a large Monster that looked like a humanoid bee-queen. Powerful wings buffeted the air, as the golden crown glinted in the light, in contrast to her pitch black skin.
“Forgive me, my Queen.” Fern bowed low, and the Monster vanished.
[Dungeon Complete!]
[No experience gained]
[3453 Gold]
[Jungle Token (10)]
[Spire Medallion]
[Rare Vine (3)]
Sally wrinkled up her face, double checking the items. None of it seemed to do anything, even the medallion was just a cosmetic thing.
“Your verdict, odd flesh-woman?” Fern crossed their arms.
“Where’s…” she took a deep breath, her hands shaking. None of that seemed right. “Where’s the place I put this?” From beneath the cloak she brought out the heart-shaped gemstone pendant.
Fern leaned closer and tilted their head. “I have no idea.”
Sally clenched her fist around it. No, she hadn’t just wasted time. Theo had said to come here, he wouldn’t have been wrong. Maybe she misunderstood. She started to pace around the otherwise bare room. No chests. No podiums or alcoves. No indentations on the floor.
Nothing.
“Balls!” she yelled, and threw the pendant to the floor. It shattered, sending shards of red across the drab stonework. “Double balls,” she said with a sigh. “That was unlike me.”
She rubbed at the bridge of her nose before something caught her eye. A small sliver of parchment had been left amongst the rest of the broken item. Crouching down, she lifted it up to read it.
In case of broken heart, break- oh, you did already. Theo.
“Ass,” she smiled, and wiped her eyes.
The smell of ozone hit her nostrils, and she stood up, clutching the note to her chest. Static hummed around the peaked ceiling before a glowing circle of deep green light started to emerge in mid air. A tunneled portal etched with green lines came into focus, before the dark shape of a figure dropped out onto the floor.
Dressed in a dark suit, the woman took a draw of a cigarette as she moved her long purple ponytail from in front of her face and gave the surprised zombie a wry grin.
“Jackie!” Sally gasped, her eyes wide.
“Heard you had an open Bodyguard job, yeah?” She stuck a hand in her pocket. “Oh, brought a little plus one. Hope that’s good with you?”
Her hand extended to reveal the contents.
The ginger kitten yawned and looked up at Sally with bright eyes.
