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Published at 1st of August 2021 10:42:54 AM


Chapter 22

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1.22 Itching for Ranks

I had suggested getting some people from the guild to pick up these bodies but Velariah wanted to hear nothing of it. No matter how much I begged and pleaded, she insisted we could do this ourselves. I wondered if she was familiar with the concept of friction, I didn't see a way for us to be able to drag this all the way to the guild. She was either crazy, or extremely confident in Draco's and my strength.  

I'd guess crazy. 

How much did these things weigh anyway? I guessed the bear came in at about 150 kg, that much should be perfectly doable. The bad news was that the Saibon boar would easily weigh at least four times that amount. Combine these two and one would find that this elf was planning to drag about a literal ton of dead weight with three people. Well, I wasn't sure if I counted as a single person for this kind of work. Would I count for four people, considering I had eight legs that could pull weight? 

Would that make me count as two horses? 

How much weight could horses pull, anyway? 

Would this mean we were pulling with two people and two horses?  

The more I calculated the more it actually seemed feasible. I remembered I managed to carry two wolves and a hollowed out Unibelea without having my abdomen hit the ground. The muscles in my behind had seemed more than strong enough. This time however, it would all come down to my legs. 

We had cut out the bear from the trap and literally stuck it to the Saibon boar's belly as if it was a post-it note.  

Since Velariah had been so eager to put me to work like a horse I let her sort out how to handle the ''reins''. I had created several more non sticky ropes that we would use to pull these bodies.  

Scrap what I said about horses, I felt like a dog. A husky to be more specific. A husky that was dragging a sleigh.  

That's exactly what we looked like, a pack of dogs dragging a sleigh through the forest.  

Velariah had bound the threads to the boar's tusks. She had then positioned both Draco and me in very specific positions to drag the bodies. I was directly in front of our baggage, a thick rope bound around my waist. From there I would be able to exert the most possible force with the help of my eight far too powerful legs.  

Draco was in front of me with a roped around his chest, he too should be able to pull quite a bit of weight with all those muscles. Finally, all the way up front was Velariah who would steer us into the right direction and provide a bit of pulling force.  

I wasn't sure how much of that had been calculated but it appeared it worked. Verlariah's confidence was vindicated, after all. 

I mean, we managed to move, not at the fastest pace but we managed. Slowly, we made our way to the edge of the forest where things became a bit easier because of the downhill slope and the reduced friction from the grass.  

We dragged our load through a field and across the simple wooden bridge. After that we avoided the cobblestone road and kept on moving next to the road over a small strip of grass instead.  

The checkpoint guards had stared at us with large eyes as they followed the three of us. Even when we had long passed the checkpoint and towers, they were still staring.  

So much for not standing out. 

Velariah, you will end up killing me someday. 

At least I was sure that I was getting enough exercise. This had better result in my growing some muscles.  

I wasn't even sure if that was a thing. Did my spidery parts even have muscles? I mean, I couldn't find any on my legs but maybe that was because there was carapace covering the outside?  

Ugh, exoskeletons... Guess I'd never be able to show off my powerful thigh muscles. 

I looked up to the sky several times, thinking that I felt raindrops hit my behind. There was not a single cloud above us and the sun was shining brightly. Confirming that it couldn't have been rain, I looked behind me. There was nothing there but the view of my large black bulb followed by a wrapped-up bear stuck to a massive boar with a cleaved skull. 

Of course, we had wrapped silk around the wounds, we'd hate to attract nasty predators. Leaving a trail of blood behind was literally inviting them.  

I was brought back to my abdomen by a weird feeling. I'd hate to admit it but the warmth of the sun on my behind actually felt incredibly satisfying. it's just that there was a certain itch that was bothering me. At first, I thought it had been rain, then I had thought maybe someone was messing with me but there was nothing in sight. 

Please tell me I didn't have worms or anything.  

I doubted it, the food that was prepared at the guild seemed to be of high quality. Maybe I should visit a treemender? There were bound to be a few that would actually be helpful, right? I refused to believe that everyone who chose that profession would be as evil as the very first one I'd met.  

''Velariah?'' I called over to the front of our... what did you call this anyway? A caravan of some sorts?  

''What's up, Elania?'' 

''I'd like a small break, if possible.''  

''We're almost there.'' 

It's true, we were between the checkpoint and the village, it would only be a few hundred meters to the guild and the warehouse next to it.  

''Please...'' I pleaded.  

My legs had become quite restless from all that pulling, I had to move around a bit or I'd go crazy.  

''Fine. Take a few minutes then.'' 

She acted as if she was acting tough and doing me a favor but I could she herself had wanted to have a break for a while now.  

I dropped the rope and walked a few circles, stretching my arms in the meantime. This had been by far the worst part of the quest. Well, it felt that way at least. Technically the part where I got chased and wasn't sure whether my jump would do the trick had been the worst.  

And now I had this nasty itch. 

I took my spear and started carefully scratching my behind.  

Oh my god, that felt good.  

''Elania?'' Velariah stood next to me and watched as I was using my weapon as a back scratcher.  

''What?'' I asked pretending it was nothing special. ''Do you wanna scratch me instead?'' 

''...'' She had no reply for that. 

''Thought so.''  

Seriously, this itch was frustrating me to no end.  

''Argh, Velariah, this itch is killing me, do you have anything that helps with this?'' I was still scratching with the spear carefully as to not hurt myself.  

''Worms, lice?'' She noted two possible causes. 

''I've thought about worms as well, but I have no idea. I don't remember eating anything bad. Lice? hadn't thought about that yet. I doubt it though, I gave everything a good scrub in the bathtub not that long ago...'' 

''We could check with master Pylanor, I guess. He usually handles diagnoses.'' 

''Is it painful?'' I warily asked, fearing the worst.  

''Nope, don't worry about it. For now, let's get this stuff delivered, we can look into it after if you want.''  

''Sounds like a plan.''  

I stretched my legs one last time as a guard passed us from behind me. I had not seen him coming and almost made him trip. I apologized and picked up the rope from the grass again.  

It frustrated me how careful I had to be doing simple things like that... 

We reached the village gates and had to move over the shabby cobblestone roads again. We were close but this last part was probably the hardest. Due to the uneven terrain, dragging became a hassle.  

A black bear and an XXXL boar with a tree on its back being dragged through an elven village by an elf knight, a lizardman warrior and a half spider monstrosity.  

'So much for not drawing attention.' I thought again.  

Whose idea was this again? 

Oh, right, it was the elf... Again... 

Where did she get these ideas from anyway? Was she trying to prove a point or what? 

I had the feeling she was sabotaging my plans. Maybe trying to lay low had been one of those impossible ideals. I'd already affected life here too much. Sooner or later, many of these things were going to be linked back to me and I knew it.  

I thought of the things I had already changed in the short time I've been here. I had literally just added cheese omelets to the guild's menu, I'd added coffee which was going to be a huge market soon enough. Then there were the anti-venoms, but of those only three people besides me knew they existed.  

As long as I could keep those secret, I should be fine I reasoned. The rest would eventually result in a free market so I doubted anyone would come after me. Maybe I had actually been far too paranoid. Well, that was part of me, I'd have a hard time getting that out of my being. 

Whatever. Look at me, I'm pulling this huge ass boar through your city with my party! 

Nope, it still didn't feel right.  

Guessed I'd need to learn to live with it. 

I was pretty sure I got some stares because of my butt wiggling. My itch was literally causing it to sway to the left and right. This was killing me! What was worse, this situation was awkward as hell! Why was it always me? 

People made sure to walk around us with a large circle, they didn't seem to mind having to do so. 

However, one lone gold ranked adventurer refused to move out of the way and threw me a nasty stare after noticing my tag. Velariah had simply shoved him aside. She had a fire in her, that was for sure.  

Normally I'd just forget about it and move on but his stare was seared into my brain. I got the feeling that behind that stare was the feeling of superiority, I wasn't sure if it's because of what I was, or because of my rank. I had the feeling it was because of my rank, his shiny polished armor made me think he was a noble that just got whatever he wanted.  

So those people really did exist. I mean, maybe I was jumping to conclusions but I just couldn’t get his gaze and behavior out of my mind. Was rank so important to people here? And would high ranked adventurers view others as lowly? 

At least Velariah wasn't like that, even though she was some kind of ''noble''. I guessed it would probably have resulted in one of us being killed the moment we met. 

I shook my head. I didn’t want to think about that.  

We had reached the guild and Velariah had notified the Lore keeper of our presence from the outside. We then continued on around a corner to the warehouse that was connected to the guild.  

Moments later, the huge doors opened inward and the Lore keeper and half a dozen brawny men showed up from behind them. They helped us get our cargo inside as the Lore keeper supervised the process. She seemed surprised. I wasn't sure if that had anything to do with the completion of these quests or whether it was because of the force with which we managed to move these corpses with only three people.  

Maybe it was both. 

''Congratulations on your quest completion. I will see you inside for payment and...'' She paused a moment and looked at me. ''Administration.'' 

What was that supposed to mean? And why did she look at me before saying that? Had I done anything wrong? 

I didn't think I had. Stupid paranoia. 

This persistent itch really didn't make things better. I was sure I was going crazy! 

With my heart in my boots, I followed Velariah and Draco back out of the warehouse into the guild hall where the Lore keeper was already waiting and scribbling down in a book.  

She had a golden orb in one hand and finished writing. She smiled at me with a friendly expression and asked me for my tag. 

''My tag? Am I expelled?''  

Good ol' paranoia me was at work again. 

Velariah facepalmed next to me. 

''Just give her your tag.'' 

''Alright, if you say so...''  

I took of my chain and handed it to the elf behind the counter. She laid it down so the text was up and placed the golden orb on top of it. The orb then started glowing and dimming. It pulsed several times before the light disappeared and the orb became inert.  

When she lifted up the orb, I could see my tag had undergone a metamorphosis of some sorts. The II was replaced by a I and the silver sword had turned into gold.  

Oh. 

I'm an idiot. 

It appeared I had just received a promotion.  

Velariah's giggling pulled me out of my stupor, I was pretty sure I even saw the always serious Draco suppress a laugh.  

What the hell guys? 

I took the tag back and looked at it. It appeared I had just gone up a rank in a fantasy world. The feeling itself was nice and all but I really didn't feel any different than before if I had to be honest. I didn’t feel stronger or more powerful, hell the only thing I felt was an annoying itch.  

And it was getting worse by the minute.   

Screw this, let's go and find that treemender.  

I turned around and wanted to leave but Draco halted me and pointed to Velariah who handed her own tag to the Lore keeper.  

Oh, that's right. She was going to get a promotion as well.  

I remembered what she said before. If you reached high rank in a branch, you could take quests from the next branch. If you successfully completed those, you'd get promoted to the low tier rank of the next branch. This meant Velariah would now be low ranked gold, right? Pretty neat.  

I finally had something dawn on me. I would have to check with Velariah to be sure but I think I got the idea of why we had to drag all that dead weight over here.  

I walked up to the counter, curious about the process. Velariah was going to need an entirely new tag, after all.  

The Lore keeper had placed Velariah's tag on the counter placed an unengraved golden tag on top of it. She then pulled out another orb from under the desk, this one had an orange-brown color. She placed the orb on top of the golden tag and the same process as before played out. When the orb stopped glowing, the elf removed it from the tag and I could clearly see Velariah's name together with a bronze sword and a III in the metal.  

Now the weird part came after she had taken the gold tag and handed it to Velariah. The silver tag that was left on the desk had its engravings completely removed. It seemed good as new and ready to be used again. The Lore keeper took it and put it away somewhere under the counter. 

What the hell?  

These elves were miles ahead of Earth when it came to recycling it seemed. That was insane! 

Velariah seemed happy but not overly so. I think she knew she could have gotten it sooner which tempered her enthusiasm.  

The Lore keeper then handed the quest rewards that consisted of two gold pieces to Velariah who put them away in ''our pouch''. Yeah, at this point I had stopped caring about who kept the money. We would have to exchange that to silvers though, to be able to give Draco his fair share.  

''Congratulations miss Elania, miss Velariah.'' Draco said as we turned around. 

''Thanks.'' We both responded at the same time. 

It seemed I had knocked over a chair by not watching out when turning around. I quickly put it back in place before we left the guild hall.  

This damn itch! 

''Did you two have any more plans for today?'' Draco asked. ''There's still plenty of time left in the day.'' 

He had a point but we did indeed have plans. 

''Actually, yea, I've had a terrible itch since we came out of the woods and it's been getting worse. I believe Velariah said we were going to check with someone called Master Pylador or something?'' 

I had already forgotten the name.  

''Pylanor.'' Velariah corrected me. ''Yeah, we should go see him now. You seem a bit pale too.'' She said as she looked at my face.  

Huh? I felt fine.  

Actually, I was starting to get hungry but I felt fine otherwise. How was I actually hungry? That was odd. 

''Bit peckish, but I feel fine.'' I tried to downplay it a bit. 

''Hungry? Again?'' Velariah looked at me with large eyes. 

''I can’t help it alright!'' I pouted.  

''Alright.'' Draco said in a serious tone. ''Will I see you two for dinner?'' 

''Sure.'' Velariah had said without even asking me. 

''Actually.'' I interjected. ''If you don't mind, I'd prefer to eat at your place tonight. If this itch can't be helped, I'd prefer not to knock over more chairs at the guild...''  

''Fair enough.'' Draco said. ''If I don't see you again today, I guess I'll see you at the guild tomorrow?'' 

''Sure.'' I spoke.  

Velariah nodded. 

He waved us goodbye as we walked into the large tree in the middle of Dawnleaf.  

The curtain from before was still closed and several more beds seemed to be occupied by unlucky adventurers who seemed to have suffered a couple injuries. I didn't notice anything serious though. The worst I saw was a broken leg, I think. One of the treemenders sat next to the him and was working on the leg in question.  

Velariah instructed for me to just lie on one of the beds while she would fetch Master Pylanor.  

Easier said than done. 

Good thing the beds weren't terribly wide. Actually, even if they were, I doubted it would have been much of a problem.  

I simply walked on top of the bed and lowered myself. The beds weren't high so my feet were still on the ground. Initially I hadn't planned on laying down but I decided I'd try. For science of course!  

I laid down with my face on my pillow and quickly came to the conclusion that I would never be able to sleep in normal beds anymore. I could not sleep on my stomach. I would always sleep on my side and that was just a straight up impossible task with this new body. I just couldn't twist my waist far enough to get comfortable. 

I'd have to build from the pillow pile concept, at least that seemed to work.  

 

 

Sometime later Velariah returned with an elf in green.  

The treemender positioned himself to my right and asked what appeared to be the problem. 

My wiggling butt didn't appear to be enough of a tell.  

''I've got a terrible itch down there and it just doesn't seem to go away.'' 

Fortunately for me, he seemed more like a doer than a talker. Unfortunately for me, that meant that seconds later I had a hand running over the hairs on my abdomen. 

Mercy please. You're only making it worse! 

Seriously, everything felt far more sensitive than before. What the hell was wrong with me?  

Thank God, he stopped moving his hand. That was hell! 

I was slightly startled when he put a hand on my forehead but let him do his work. He sent a wave of energy into my body that felt much like the yellow potions. It rippled through my body and searched for something. It spread out and returned to my head, then the wave spread out once more, moving to the tip of every single limb before returning again.  

He removed his hand. 

''You appear to be perfectly healthy.''  

You got to be kidding me. Then why was I dying for a good backscratcher? 

''Thank you anyway.'' I let out softly. 

''You're welcome miss.''  
 
I turned to look at him to find a young elf returning my glance with a smile.  

So, they weren't all bad. Pylanor, I would have to remember that name. 

 

I stood up from the bed and looked at Velariah.  

''Now what?''  

''I have no idea.'' she scratched her head. ''Master Pylanor is hardly ever wrong, and I don't recall him lying.'' 

I suddenly felt anxious. Was this a curse or something? Had I eaten anything that this body can't handle? Thinking about food made me hungry again.  

I suddenly started to tire really quickly as well.  

What the fuck was going on? 

''Vel, something's wrong. I'm getting hungry, tired, and this itch is getting worse and worse.'' I was scared and I think it was heard in my voice. 

''Master Pylanor said you're fine. let's just go home and get you something to eat.'' She said with some worry on her face. It seemed the trusted Pylanor's diagnosis, though. This made me slightly less worried. 

''Thank you.'' 

''Also, it's Velariah.''  

She was going to do this every time wasn't she? 





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