Chapter 386
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The following day after breakfast, Kyon gave the girls instructions on how to behave and what to do in case of some unforeseen circumstances. At first, Leila protested when Zosimos said he was leaving Eve in charge, but his stern glance stopped the tantrum. Anyway, the only thing she really cared about were cartoons! It would be hard to handle her without this wonderful manipulation tool.
Lovr left the Garden of Eden hotel and the walls of Dantes for a very simple reason: he had to get citizenship for his second identity as an imperial investigator. Otherwise, there would be questions like, "How did you get into the city after passing the customs?"
After spending a couple of hours on registration, Kyon headed towards the Imperial Department of Law Enforcement, located five kilometers closer to the city center than the Garden of Eden Hotel.
It was a majestic five-story dark grey building with the Russells' coat of arms on the facade. The vast park around it was dotted with bushes, flowers, fountains, and statues of generals.
Each floor was about five 5 meters high, so the building seemed really huge, several times larger than the Boston Department.
The Imperial Department of Law Enforcement was the main of the three branches of the Ministry of Justice. It comprised many functions, including those performed by the armed forces and federal law enforcement agencies. Any criminal activities in the capital fell under its jurisdiction: from minor offenses and crimes to corruption and treason. Being an investigator required versatile skills, while other jobs in law and economics were of lesser importance and influence in this world of power.
Wherever he went, he attracted numerous glances. People around him started whispering, gasping and even screaming in horror. He had chosen this particular identity that guaranteed walked a thorny path for one important reason: to harvest darkness. He had filled the core by 25% so far, which was too little. Staying in the guise of Dick Baker would earn him more darkness, but it also came with a price of "raising the level of difficulty."
That's how he got into the investigation department. Dick Baker's formation, papers, and recommendation letter helped him to pass the reception desk.
The following steps are required to upgrade (or receive) a rank: prepare the necessary documents, submit them to the front desk and wait for their response, which might take several months as a rule. If approved, the next step is to get an appointment to take the exam for the declared rank. This exam can't be taken more often than once a year. If it's passed successfully, they change (or issue) the documents, the formation, and the uniform, and it's back to work.
Kyon was not going to waste months on all the red tape. One hundred thousand spheres in the right hands, and he cut in line. Another half an hour, and his documents were approved. An hour later, he entered the office.
A corpulent lady adjusted her glasses. As she saw Dick Baker, she gasped and coughed loudly. When fifty valerian drops brought her to her senses, she skimmed through the papers and the recommendation letter: «Dick Baker? .. From the head of the Iron Throne department? .. The best investigator ever? .. Saved Boston from the criminal of the century? .. Gods…»
The woman glanced suspiciously at the fat, unsightly young man over her glasses and asked: «Do you really think you will become a third-ranking investigator just like this? With this piece of paper»
«This paper matches my deeds.» – Kyon reassured her firmly.
She took another look at the accomplishments described in the document. If the letter's authenticity hadn't been approved, she would never have believed her eyes. She took off her glasses and said coldly: «A high-ranking imperial investigator is a position of authority. Our city with fifty million people has over two hundred thousand investigators. You must have a military ID card and special training to get at least the seventh rank. Only every tenth applicant succeeds in getting it. The sixth rank requires three years of impeccable experience. To get the fifth rank, you need five years of experience and a recommendation letter from the boss. The fourth rank requires ten-year experience. You will also have to prove your qualifications and skills with a certain number of resolved cases and be in your superiors' good books. Only a few become investigators of the third rank and above... To be more precise, every thousandth does. They are talented people with extraordinary abilities who have stood the test of time and have proven their dedication. As you can see, the competition is insane. And then you appear out of the blue, thinking you can cut out this difficult path with one letter of recommendation? They will nip you in the bud!»
Kyon said nothing. He expected to hear something like that.
The woman realized that she was wasting her breath and shook her head: «Anyway, I have no right to refuse a recommendation letter of this level. You may go to room 216 at four p.m. Here is your exam pass. I give you ten points, but I doubt they will let an upstart like you pass!»
Kyon took the pass and left the office in a foul mood. What were the odds that he would get a reasonable examiner? It was highly unlikely. Nobody liked bastards that went through the back door. Anyway, if they flunked him, he had a genuine letter of recommendation and enough knowledge to win an appeal. The chance that they might destroy the letter was almost zero as the department was literally stuffed with surveillance formations. No one would risk their position or even freedom for who knows what.
Ten minutes before the exam, Lovr entered room 216, a spacious hall with large windows and numerous desks, nothing fancy.
About thirty investigators from the 7th to the 5th rank stared at the new guy. They were taking an exam to upgrade their rank. All kinds of grimaces distorted their faces. Someone even became hysterical: «Where did this creature come from?» … «Hey kid, where are you from?» … «Aren't you too young to become a 6th investigator? Have you finished military service and training? Do you have three years of experience?» – They must have taken him for a 7th rank investigator.
Lovr ignored their numerous questions. He took an empty seat and got engrossed in reading.
Soon, most of those present lost interest in the fat guy and focused on the upcoming exam, but one of them grabbed his head and desperately groaned: «Why is this happening to me? It's the third time in a row that Raisen has been my examiner!»
«Who is Raisen?» – A woman sitting near him asked.
«He was my examiner in two exams! I had almost all the answers right, but he kept splitting hairs and finally flunked me! I ran a background check on him and found out that Raisen has the lowest pass rate in Dantes!» – He howled, making everyone even more anxious.
«Damn it! I don't want to wait another year!» … «Bloody hell! I have already promised my wife to become a 5th rank investigator!» … «What did I get myself into?» – The investigators buried their glances in their desks with grim faces.
Just at that moment, a lean, short-haired middle-aged man entered the room with a pleased grin on his face and gave everyone a condescending look: «My dear examinees, that's the right approach.»
The examinees tucked their heads in fear.
«Ha ha! Why so grim faces? I am an examiner, not an executioner!» – Raisen laughed loudly. – «There is nothing to worry about if your track record is good as well as your knowledge and self-confidence! A strict examiner kills your confidence? Then you are not worthy of getting an upgrade!»
Kyon raised an eyebrow. The howling examinee turned out to be a fraud. He added to the atmosphere of fear so that those who considered themselves unworthy of an upgrade for some reasons made mistakes and failed.
«So, my name is Raisen Postulate. I am a 4th ranking investigator. I will be your examiner today. You need to keep at least one point to pass the exam successfully. Each of you has been given a different number of points, from ten to fifty. The number depends on your experience, achievements, recommendations, and the desired rank. To be honest, your status and strength will also play a role.»
«There are three types of assignments: multiple choice questions, written and oral tasks. First, you will get one hundred questions with four possible answers each. You will lose a point with each mistake. Then, there are ten written tasks to explain in detail on a separate piece of paper. Finally, I'll ask you three random questions to get your competent answers. The higher the desired rank, the more difficult and tricky my questions will be. Any questions?»
«How will you evaluate the written and oral tasks?» – One of the investigators asked.
«Written and oral assignments are of great importance as they reveal your abilities, skills, experience, and attitude. I will take ten points for each wrong answer.» – Rasen flashed a dazzling smile.
*the examinees gasp in fear*
«But how will we know if our answer was wrong or right? What criteria are you using to evaluate the answers?»
Raisen answered in an indifferent voice: «An investigator is a precise and meticulous job. Each of your possible actions has been described in the book that gives the sequence of procedures that need to be performed. It will be easy even for a 4th ranking investigator like me to assess the quality of your work.»
«By the way!» – Raisen exclaimed suddenly. – «Today is a special day. I've seen a lot in my career, but this is my first! One of the examinees doesn't even have the 7th rank. He hasn't gained ten years of experience. In some magic way, he has received permission to pass the exam for the job of an investigator of the third rank!»
The thirty examinees made a terrible racket: «What do you mean he has no 7th rank?» … «Is it a joke? What kind of injustice is this?» … «How much did he pay and whom to do this?» … «Who is he? I want to look him in the eye!»
«Ha ha!» – Raisen laughed viciously as he walked towards the last row of desks. – «I have dreamed of becoming a high-ranking investigator since I was a child just like many of my colleagues. We work tirelessly for days on end for this position! And then, there's this smartass who believes that he can deceive the system! It's funny! A high-ranking imperial investigator is not a job that you get with a bribe or any other tricks! You must have a huge amount of knowledge and experience! Kind uncle Reisen will judge this rogue to the fullest extent of the powers given to me! I am sure that he will achieve nothing with his ten points. Am I right, Dick Baker?» – Raisen hissed sarcastically, banging his hand on the desk with an extremely unpleasant-looking fat guy.
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The following day after breakfast, Kyon gave the girls instructions on how to behave and what to do in case of some unforeseen circumstances. At first, Leila protested when Zosimos said he was leaving Eve in charge, but his stern glance stopped the tantrum. Anyway, the only thing she really cared about were cartoons! It would be hard to handle her without this wonderful manipulation tool.
Lovr left the Garden of Eden hotel and the walls of Dantes for a very simple reason: he had to get citizenship for his second identity as an imperial investigator. Otherwise, there would be questions like, "How did you get into the city after passing the customs?"
After spending a couple of hours on registration, Kyon headed towards the Imperial Department of Law Enforcement, located five kilometers closer to the city center than the Garden of Eden Hotel.
It was a majestic five-story dark grey building with the Russells' coat of arms on the facade. The vast park around it was dotted with bushes, flowers, fountains, and statues of generals.
Each floor was about five 5 meters high, so the building seemed really huge, several times larger than the Boston Department.
The Imperial Department of Law Enforcement was the main of the three branches of the Ministry of Justice. It comprised many functions, including those performed by the armed forces and federal law enforcement agencies. Any criminal activities in the capital fell under its jurisdiction: from minor offenses and crimes to corruption and treason. Being an investigator required versatile skills, while other jobs in law and economics were of lesser importance and influence in this world of power.
Wherever he went, he attracted numerous glances. People around him started whispering, gasping and even screaming in horror. He had chosen this particular identity that guaranteed walked a thorny path for one important reason: to harvest darkness. He had filled the core by 25% so far, which was too little. Staying in the guise of Dick Baker would earn him more darkness, but it also came with a price of "raising the level of difficulty."
That's how he got into the investigation department. Dick Baker's formation, papers, and recommendation letter helped him to pass the reception desk.
The following steps are required to upgrade (or receive) a rank: prepare the necessary documents, submit them to the front desk and wait for their response, which might take several months as a rule. If approved, the next step is to get an appointment to take the exam for the declared rank. This exam can't be taken more often than once a year. If it's passed successfully, they change (or issue) the documents, the formation, and the uniform, and it's back to work.
Kyon was not going to waste months on all the red tape. One hundred thousand spheres in the right hands, and he cut in line. Another half an hour, and his documents were approved. An hour later, he entered the office.
A corpulent lady adjusted her glasses. As she saw Dick Baker, she gasped and coughed loudly. When fifty valerian drops brought her to her senses, she skimmed through the papers and the recommendation letter: «Dick Baker? .. From the head of the Iron Throne department? .. The best investigator ever? .. Saved Boston from the criminal of the century? .. Gods…»
The woman glanced suspiciously at the fat, unsightly young man over her glasses and asked: «Do you really think you will become a third-ranking investigator just like this? With this piece of paper»
«This paper matches my deeds.» – Kyon reassured her firmly.
She took another look at the accomplishments described in the document. If the letter's authenticity hadn't been approved, she would never have believed her eyes. She took off her glasses and said coldly: «A high-ranking imperial investigator is a position of authority. Our city with fifty million people has over two hundred thousand investigators. You must have a military ID card and special training to get at least the seventh rank. Only every tenth applicant succeeds in getting it. The sixth rank requires three years of impeccable experience. To get the fifth rank, you need five years of experience and a recommendation letter from the boss. The fourth rank requires ten-year experience. You will also have to prove your qualifications and skills with a certain number of resolved cases and be in your superiors' good books. Only a few become investigators of the third rank and above... To be more precise, every thousandth does. They are talented people with extraordinary abilities who have stood the test of time and have proven their dedication. As you can see, the competition is insane. And then you appear out of the blue, thinking you can cut out this difficult path with one letter of recommendation? They will nip you in the bud!»
Kyon said nothing. He expected to hear something like that.
The woman realized that she was wasting her breath and shook her head: «Anyway, I have no right to refuse a recommendation letter of this level. You may go to room 216 at four p.m. Here is your exam pass. I give you ten points, but I doubt they will let an upstart like you pass!»
Kyon took the pass and left the office in a foul mood. What were the odds that he would get a reasonable examiner? It was highly unlikely. Nobody liked bastards that went through the back door. Anyway, if they flunked him, he had a genuine letter of recommendation and enough knowledge to win an appeal. The chance that they might destroy the letter was almost zero as the department was literally stuffed with surveillance formations. No one would risk their position or even freedom for who knows what.
Ten minutes before the exam, Lovr entered room 216, a spacious hall with large windows and numerous desks, nothing fancy.
About thirty investigators from the 7th to the 5th rank stared at the new guy. They were taking an exam to upgrade their rank. All kinds of grimaces distorted their faces. Someone even became hysterical: «Where did this creature come from?» … «Hey kid, where are you from?» … «Aren't you too young to become a 6th investigator? Have you finished military service and training? Do you have three years of experience?» – They must have taken him for a 7th rank investigator.
Lovr ignored their numerous questions. He took an empty seat and got engrossed in reading.
Soon, most of those present lost interest in the fat guy and focused on the upcoming exam, but one of them grabbed his head and desperately groaned: «Why is this happening to me? It's the third time in a row that Raisen has been my examiner!»
«Who is Raisen?» – A woman sitting near him asked.
«He was my examiner in two exams! I had almost all the answers right, but he kept splitting hairs and finally flunked me! I ran a background check on him and found out that Raisen has the lowest pass rate in Dantes!» – He howled, making everyone even more anxious.
«Damn it! I don't want to wait another year!» … «Bloody hell! I have already promised my wife to become a 5th rank investigator!» … «What did I get myself into?» – The investigators buried their glances in their desks with grim faces.
Just at that moment, a lean, short-haired middle-aged man entered the room with a pleased grin on his face and gave everyone a condescending look: «My dear examinees, that's the right approach.»
The examinees tucked their heads in fear.
«Ha ha! Why so grim faces? I am an examiner, not an executioner!» – Raisen laughed loudly. – «There is nothing to worry about if your track record is good as well as your knowledge and self-confidence! A strict examiner kills your confidence? Then you are not worthy of getting an upgrade!»
Kyon raised an eyebrow. The howling examinee turned out to be a fraud. He added to the atmosphere of fear so that those who considered themselves unworthy of an upgrade for some reasons made mistakes and failed.
«So, my name is Raisen Postulate. I am a 4th ranking investigator. I will be your examiner today. You need to keep at least one point to pass the exam successfully. Each of you has been given a different number of points, from ten to fifty. The number depends on your experience, achievements, recommendations, and the desired rank. To be honest, your status and strength will also play a role.»
«There are three types of assignments: multiple choice questions, written and oral tasks. First, you will get one hundred questions with four possible answers each. You will lose a point with each mistake. Then, there are ten written tasks to explain in detail on a separate piece of paper. Finally, I'll ask you three random questions to get your competent answers. The higher the desired rank, the more difficult and tricky my questions will be. Any questions?»
«How will you evaluate the written and oral tasks?» – One of the investigators asked.
«Written and oral assignments are of great importance as they reveal your abilities, skills, experience, and attitude. I will take ten points for each wrong answer.» – Rasen flashed a dazzling smile.
*the examinees gasp in fear*
«But how will we know if our answer was wrong or right? What criteria are you using to evaluate the answers?»
Raisen answered in an indifferent voice: «An investigator is a precise and meticulous job. Each of your possible actions has been described in the book that gives the sequence of procedures that need to be performed. It will be easy even for a 4th ranking investigator like me to assess the quality of your work.»
«By the way!» – Raisen exclaimed suddenly. – «Today is a special day. I've seen a lot in my career, but this is my first! One of the examinees doesn't even have the 7th rank. He hasn't gained ten years of experience. In some magic way, he has received permission to pass the exam for the job of an investigator of the third rank!»
The thirty examinees made a terrible racket: «What do you mean he has no 7th rank?» … «Is it a joke? What kind of injustice is this?» … «How much did he pay and whom to do this?» … «Who is he? I want to look him in the eye!»
«Ha ha!» – Raisen laughed viciously as he walked towards the last row of desks. – «I have dreamed of becoming a high-ranking investigator since I was a child just like many of my colleagues. We work tirelessly for days on end for this position! And then, there's this smartass who believes that he can deceive the system! It's funny! A high-ranking imperial investigator is not a job that you get with a bribe or any other tricks! You must have a huge amount of knowledge and experience! Kind uncle Reisen will judge this rogue to the fullest extent of the powers given to me! I am sure that he will achieve nothing with his ten points. Am I right, Dick Baker?» – Raisen hissed sarcastically, banging his hand on the desk with an extremely unpleasant-looking fat guy.
The following day after breakfast, Kyon gave the girls instructions on how to behave and what to do in case of some unforeseen circumstances. At first, Leila protested when Zosimos said he was leaving Eve in charge, but his stern glance stopped the tantrum. Anyway, the only thing she really cared about were cartoons! It would be hard to handle her without this wonderful manipulation tool. Lovr left the Garden of Eden hotel and the walls of Dantes for a very simple reason: he had to get citizenship for his second identity as an imperial investigator. Otherwise, there would be questions like, "How did you get into the city after passing the customs?" After spending a couple of hours on registration, Kyon headed towards the Imperial Department of Law Enforcement, located five kilometers closer to the city center than the Garden of Eden Hotel. It was a majestic five-story dark grey building with the Russells' coat of arms on the facade. The vast park around it was dotted with bushes, flowers, fountains, and statues of generals. Each floor was about five 5 meters high, so the building seemed really huge, several times larger than the Boston Department. The Imperial Department of Law Enforcement was the main of the three branches of the Ministry of Justice. It comprised many functions, including those performed by the armed forces and federal law enforcement agencies. Any criminal activities in the capital fell under its jurisdiction: from minor offenses and crimes to corruption and treason. Being an investigator required versatile skills, while other jobs in law and economics were of lesser importance and influence in this world of power. Wherever he went, he attracted numerous glances. People around him started whispering, gasping and even screaming in horror. He had chosen this particular identity that guaranteed walked a thorny path for one important reason: to harvest darkness. He had filled the core by 25% so far, which was too little. Staying in the guise of Dick Baker would earn him more darkness, but it also came with a price of "raising the level of difficulty." That's how he got into the investigation department. Dick Baker's formation, papers, and recommendation letter helped him to pass the reception desk. The following steps are required to upgrade or receive a rank: prepare the necessary documents, submit them to the front desk and wait for their response, which might take several months as a rule. If approved, the next step is to get an appointment to take the exam for the declared rank. This exam can't be taken more often than once a year. If it's passed successfully, they change or issue the documents, the formation, and the uniform, and it's back to work. Kyon was not going to waste months on all the red tape. One hundred thousand spheres in the right hands, and he cut in line. Another half an hour, and his documents were approved. An hour later, he entered the office. A corpulent lady adjusted her glasses. As she saw Dick Baker, she gasped and coughed loudly. When fifty valerian drops brought her to her senses, she skimmed through the papers and the recommendation letter: Dick Baker? .. From the head of the Iron Throne department? .. The best investigator ever? .. Saved Boston from the criminal of the century? .. Gods The woman glanced suspiciously at the fat, unsightly young man over her glasses and asked: Do you really think you will become a third-ranking investigator just like this? With this piece of paper This paper matches my deeds. Kyon reassured her firmly. She took another look at the accomplishments described in the document. If the letter's authenticity hadn't been approved, she would never have believed her eyes. She took off her glasses and said coldly: A high-ranking imperial investigator is a position of authority. Our city with fifty million people has over two hundred thousand investigators. You must have a military ID card and special training to get at least the seventh rank. Only every tenth applicant succeeds in getting it. The sixth rank requires three years of impeccable experience. To get the fifth rank, you need five years of experience and a recommendation letter from the boss. The fourth rank requires ten-year experience. You will also have to prove your qualifications and skills with a certain number of resolved cases and be in your superiors' good books. Only a few become investigators of the third rank and above... To be more precise, every thousandth does. They are talented people with extraordinary abilities who have stood the test of time and have proven their dedication. As you can see, the competition is insane. And then you appear out of the blue, thinking you can cut out this difficult path with one letter of recommendation? They will nip you in the bud! Kyon said nothing. He expected to hear something like that. The woman realized that she was wasting her breath and shook her head: Anyway, I have no right to refuse a recommendation letter of this level. You may go to room 216 at four p.m. Here is your exam pass. I give you ten points, but I doubt they will let an upstart like you pass! Kyon took the pass and left the office in a foul mood. What were the odds that he would get a reasonable examiner? It was highly unlikely. Nobody liked bastards that went through the back door. Anyway, if they flunked him, he had a genuine letter of recommendation and enough knowledge to win an appeal. The chance that they might destroy the letter was almost zero as the department was literally stuffed with surveillance formations. No one would risk their position or even freedom for who knows what. Ten minutes before the exam, Lovr entered room 216, a spacious hall with large windows and numerous desks, nothing fancy. About thirty investigators from the 7th to the 5th rank stared at the new guy. They were taking an exam to upgrade their rank. All kinds of grimaces distorted their faces. Someone even became hysterical: Where did this creature come from? Hey kid, where are you from? Aren't you too young to become a 6th investigator? Have you finished military service and training? Do you have three years of experience? They must have taken him for a 7th rank investigator. Lovr ignored their numerous questions. He took an empty seat and got engrossed in reading. Soon, most of those present lost interest in the fat guy and focused on the upcoming exam, but one of them grabbed his head and desperately groaned: Why is this happening to me? It's the third time in a row that Raisen has been my examiner! Who is Raisen? A woman sitting near him asked. He was my examiner in two exams! I had almost all the answers right, but he kept splitting hairs and finally flunked me! I ran a background check on him and found out that Raisen has the lowest pass rate in Dantes! He howled, making everyone even more anxious. Damn it! I don't want to wait another year! Bloody hell! I have already promised my wife to become a 5th rank investigator! What did I get myself into? The investigators buried their glances in their desks with grim faces. Just at that moment, a lean, short-haired middle-aged man entered the room with a pleased grin on his face and gave everyone a condescending look: My dear examinees, that's the right approach. The examinees tucked their heads in fear. Ha ha! Why so grim faces? I am an examiner, not an executioner! Raisen laughed loudly. There is nothing to worry about if your track record is good as well as your knowledge and self-confidence! A strict examiner kills your confidence? Then you are not worthy of getting an upgrade! Kyon raised an eyebrow. The howling examinee turned out to be a fraud. He added to the atmosphere of fear so that those who considered themselves unworthy of an upgrade for some reasons made mistakes and failed. So, my name is Raisen Postulate. I am a 4th ranking investigator. I will be your examiner today. You need to keep at least one point to pass the exam successfully. Each of you has been given a different number of points, from ten to fifty. The number depends on your experience, achievements, recommendations, and the desired rank. To be honest, your status and strength will also play a role. There are three types of assignments: multiple choice questions, written and oral tasks. First, you will get one hundred questions with four possible answers each. You will lose a point with each mistake. Then, there are ten written tasks to explain in detail on a separate piece of paper. Finally, I'll ask you three random questions to get your competent answers. The higher the desired rank, the more difficult and tricky my questions will be. Any questions? How will you evaluate the written and oral tasks? One of the investigators asked. Written and oral assignments are of great importance as they reveal your abilities, skills, experience, and attitude. I will take ten points for each wrong answer. Rasen flashed a dazzling smile. *the examinees gasp in fear* But how will we know if our answer was wrong or right? What criteria are you using to evaluate the answers? Raisen answered in an indifferent voice: An investigator is a precise and meticulous job. Each of your possible actions has been described in the book that gives the sequence of procedures that need to be performed. It will be easy even for a 4th ranking investigator like me to assess the quality of your work. By the way! Raisen exclaimed suddenly. Today is a special day. I've seen a lot in my career, but this is my first! One of the examinees doesn't even have the 7th rank. He hasn't gained ten years of experience. In some magic way, he has received permission to pass the exam for the job of an investigator of the third rank! The thirty examinees made a terrible racket: What do you mean he has no 7th rank? Is it a joke? What kind of injustice is this? How much did he pay and whom to do this? Who is he? I want to look him in the eye! Ha ha! Raisen laughed viciously as he walked towards the last row of desks. I have dreamed of becoming a high-ranking investigator since I was a child just like many of my colleagues. We work tirelessly for days on end for this position! And then, there's this smartass who believes that he can deceive the system! It's funny! A high-ranking imperial investigator is not a job that you get with a bribe or any other tricks! You must have a huge amount of knowledge and experience! Kind uncle Reisen will judge this rogue to the fullest extent of the powers given to me! I am sure that he will achieve nothing with his ten points. Am I right, Dick Baker? Raisen hissed sarcastically, banging his hand on the desk with an extremely unpleasant-looking fat guy.
