Translated by juurensha
Edited by Noks
I know that you want to see him.
“What did you just say?”
Cheng Qiang nearly directly hit the brakes. “Xiao Pei kissed who?”
“It was an accident, aiya, Xiao Pei isn’t gay.” He didn’t have the time to explain too much to his own family’s agent; Ling Yi, who had just gotten first-hand fresh hot melons, directly forwarded a screenshot of Pei Tingsong’s private chat to the groupchat of five people besides Pei Tingsong, which was named— [Weeding out the strong, supporting the weak, boycotting the band tyrant (5)]
[The Original M-Dash: Forwarded a message]
[The Original M-Dash: Brothers, I come with a source of happiness!]
[Your Fire Ge is still Your Fire Ge: IsThisFriendYou’reTalkingAboutYourself.jpg]
[The Original M-Dash: And the person he kissed is definitely a man, I dare to bet my next life’s height on this! This whole heap of panic in his tone is absolutely from accidentally having kissed a man!]
[National first-class flower-hand dance performer: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha a single AF person can’t be picky]
[The Original M-Dash: Speaking of that, is it true that Xiao Pei has never dated ah? He’s so handsome, it can’t be that he isn’t to people’s tastes abroad?]
[Your Fire Ge is still Your Fire Ge: How can that be. I’ve chatted with him about it before, he thinks that dating is meaningless and a waste of time. You don’t understand the ideas an adolescent second child carries….]
[The Original M-Dash: Holy shit, this can’t be the little overlord’s first kiss ba?!]
[National first-class flower-hand dance performer: Wait, let me stroke my beard here. Xiao Pei has been running around to all kinds of events these days, and wasn’t he still filming ‘Escape For Your Life’ yesterday? Where did he get the time to meet a friend? And then even kiss them…]
[The Household’s Essential Good Captain: Xiao Wen told me that Xiao Pei and Juexia both slept at Xiao Pei’s apartment last night.]
[The Original M-Dash: Shit]
[National first-class flower hand dance performer:???]
[Your Fire Ge is still Your Fire Ge: wow]
[The Original M-Dash: It’s over, I should have sent this to the four people group chat… It’s too late to withdraw it now ba.]
After not receiving Ling Yi’s reply for a long time, Pei Tingsong started to feel that it was a little strange, so, taking advantage of the time during which Fang Juexia went out to cook porridge, he sent another message—
[Kaleido’s Number One Big Boss: Why are you silent? I’m in a hurry to tell my friend something.]
He poked him and really got a reply.
[The Original M-Dash: They can be friends. Friends should just be warm and intimate, and even kissing some more would be fine, don’t worry ah.]
Really?
Pei Tingsong’s current expression looked like the meme of the old man in the subway looking at his cellphone. Soon, Fang Juexia came in carrying a bowl of porridge and asked, “Why are you still not resting? Today is your only chance to rest. There is a press conference being held for a new endorsement tomorrow.”
After locking his cellphone, Pei Tingsong pretended that nothing had happened and tried to divert his attention. “Um, your cellphone was just vibrating.”
Fang Juexia let out an “en” and sat down beside the bed. It seemed that he didn’t plan to look at his cellphone.
He picked up the bowl of thick porridge and stirred it with a spoon, making the hot steam from it churn up into a cloud. The gap in the curtains allowed a vertical beam of sunlight into the room, which just fell perfectly on Fang Juexia’s face. His dark brown hair shone with a gold luster, his fine pale skin grew more transparent, and the capillaries in his eyes contained just a touch of cyan, thus seeming like a thread twisting, thin and shallow, with their tail-end hooking onto his red birthmark.
Pei Tingsong thought of that white eustoma. It had also been exactly like this—with the sun peeling off its skin, those fresh veins being exposed through the snow-white wound.
“Eat this while it’s still hot.” Fang Juexia handed the bowl to Pei Tingsong and looked up at him.
Hurriedly turning his head away, Pei Tingsong almost reached for it, but suddenly felt that this scene was wrong. He remembered the idol dramas that Ling Yi watched in the car every time they were traveling to events. When the hero in those shows was ill, the heroine always fed them food spoonful after spoonful, without the hero having to move around at all.
Seeing him act unruly, a tiny frown appeared on Fang Juexia’s and he asked with a little doubt, “Don’t want to eat?”
Pei Tingsong took a deep breath and then started coughing endlessly. He pulled out all of his acting skills, which surpassed the extent taught in idol school, and pretended to be weak. “I can’t lift my hands…”
Fang Juexia felt that was strange. “Is your fever that bad?” He placed the bowl on the bedside table and reached for Pei Tingsong’s forehead.
Pei Tingsong watched him put down the bowl, and felt that everything was deviating from his imagination, but he couldn’t say anything at this point.
He couldn’t actually directly tell Fang Juexia—‘If you feed me, I’ll eat it ba.’
“Logically speaking, your fever should have gone down after taking medicine… and there’s no thermometer here.” Fang Juexia’s eyebrows twisted, and he thought for a while before proposing, “Why don’t we still go to the hospital ba? You get up and put on some more clothes, and we’ll go to the hospital.”
Ah?
“No need, no need, I’m not going to the hospital.” Pei Tingsong knew that his illness wasn’t that serious. “I’m already this old, and it’s just a cold, there’s no need to go to the hospital.”
“Doesn’t matter how old you are. Your forehead is completely sweaty.” Fang Juexia wanted to drag him up from the bed, but Pei Tingsong was adamant about not going. “I’ll just have something to eat and sleep for a bit, and then I’ll be fine. I really don’t have to go to the hospital.”
After hearing him say this, Fang Juexia had no other options. Thinking about it, he even felt a little guilty; if he hadn’t just wrapped him in a bath towel yesterday, and had made him put on all his clothes properly, perhaps Pei Tingsong wouldn’t have gone as far as falling ill.
“Then you’d still better eat some of this. Although it doesn’t really taste like anything, there’s nothing else in your apartment besides rice.” Fang Juexia stirred the porridge, scooped up a spoonful, and stretched it over towards his mouth. He reflexively continued, “Next time…”
Halfway through speaking, Fang Juexia suddenly paused and stopped talking. Even the hand that was stretching the spoon over to the corner of Pei Tingsong’s mouth stopped.
Next time? What next time? It couldn’t be that he really wanted to cook for Pei Tingsong again?
Pei Tingsong saw him pause and stop talking, and deliberately prompted him, “What about next time? Will you cook something delicious for me next time? Last time, auntie even asked you to make fried rice for me.” The porridge had even been sent right next to his mouth, and Pei Tingsong drew closer to it as soon as he finished talking. However, who would have known that in the next moment, the cellphone that Fang Juexia had abandoned to the side would begin to ring endlessly.
“Who’s calling me…” Fang Juexia said to himself as he put the bowl down and went around to the other side of the bed to pick up the cellphone.
There had been only one millimeter left before he could have swallowed the porridge. Pei Tingsong was so angry that he propped himself up directly and then helped himself to two big mouthfuls of it.
Realizing that he—Pei Tingsong, all-powerful for 20 years, a devil incarnate who feared neither the heavens nor the earth—had been playing at a push-and-pull game with a bowl of porridge for such a long time, he really felt like he had to die laughing.
“Awake?” Fang Juexia stood by the side of the bed as he took the call. His facial expression seemed to change, and his voice grew much lower. “…If grandfather woke up, that’s good. I’ll just… I won’t go ba, so to avoid that upon seeing me, he’ll again…”
Pei Tingsong looked at him and kept feeling that this person had worries weighing on his mind.
“En.” Fang Juexia bowed his head as he spoke, “I’m also very busy now, and I can’t head over there. Mom, take good care of him. Tomorrow? There’s work tomorrow too…”
He was silent for a while before finally hanging up. With his back to Pei Tingsong, he sat by the bed, and then remembered that his phone had been vibrating because of messages, so he bowed his head to check them. Originally, there really had been many WeChat messages appearing on the lock screen interface, but as soon as he clicked on one of them, they all disappeared, leaving behind only an announcement saying that the group chat had suddenly been deleted.
“Why did they suddenly delete it…”
Pei Tingsong clenched his fist and coughed. He asked in a hoarse voice, “What’s been deleted?”
“A group chat.” Remembering that this group chat did not contain Pei Tingsong, Fang Juexia didn’t intend to say anymore, lest he find out that his group members had secretly created a group chat behind his back, and grow more angry at that. “Nothing really.”
“There is something ba?” Pei Tingsong asked tentatively, “Auntie was the one who called you just now?”
Fang Juexia nodded, but didn’t say anything more.
Pei Tingsong remembered that Fang Juexia’s mother had come to Beijing last time because of his grandfather’s illness. Listening to the phone call from just now, it seemed that it was still about that. He sort of knew about the situation, but he didn’t know any specific details about what had happened. However, Fang Juexia’s expression just now seemed to be very sad.
Due to the environment he had grown up in, Pei Tingsong wasn’t used to expressing his thoughts euphemistically at all. He just went straight to the point and did what he wanted. However, he also knew that Fang Juexia was a person who didn’t want others to interfere in his private affairs; he hadn’t even bothered to explain the situation concerning the hidden rules issue ever before.
Fang Juexia looked at the porridge that had been touched. “Eat some more? You can only get better quickly by eating.”
Unexpectedly, Pei Tingsong grew so uncomfortable that he dropped his own body askew right next to Fang Juexia’s hand, and his voice sounded so weak that it felt like it could start floating up. “So uncomfortable ah, Fang Juexia… I hurt as soon as I swallow, and all my bones hurt, all over my body.”
“How is it so serious?” Fang Juexia frowned, reached out and touched his face, then touched the back of his neck. All of these spots were really hot. “Then what should we do?”
Pei Tingsong looked as if he was about to ascend to the heavens. “I think I’d better go to the hospital ba…”
Looking at Pei Tingsong’s sickly appearance, Fang Juexia didn’t even dare to say anything harsh. “Just now when I said we should go to the hospital, you refused to go. Now you feel worse ba?” He sighed, got up, and opened the wardrobe while asking, “Do you have a turtleneck, lend me one.”
“Ah? There are some ba… You can look for it.”
He couldn’t think too much about it. As soon as he did, he would end up recalling his own animal behavior of biting Fang Juexia’s Adam’s apple.
Fang Juexia, with his back to him, rummaged through the wardrobe piece by piece before finding a dark green turtleneck sweater and taking it out. He was only thinking about covering up the wound, and he didn’t have the time to care about anything else, so he just crisply and decisively took off his pajama top.
At this time, Pei Tingsong, who was lying on the bed and pretending to be dead, looked up. He had just wanted to see which turtleneck Fang Juexia had chosen, but he hadn’t expected a spotless, pale body to collide with his eyes. As Fang Juexia moved to pull the sweater on, his back muscles pulled at the lines of the back of his waist, looking just like a piece of flowing glaze porcelain.
The mirror in the wardrobe reflected Fang Juexia’s thin waist. His abdominal muscles weren’t lumps, but were instead smooth and flat marks that looked like the character 川—pliable, tough, and pale.
His head flew as he turned his eyes away quickly.
How could there be a man with such a thin waist?
“I’m wearing this one.” Fang Juexia turned around, pulling at the too big clothes, and looked into his eyes. “It’s fine ba?”
Pei Tingsong raised his eyes and let out an “en.”
Fang Juexia hadn’t expected to hear any good words from him anyway. He picked up his pajamas and was ready to go change his pants, after which he would take him to see a doctor. “After I go back…”
“I’ll give it to you.”
He stopped and heard Pei Tingsong say from behind him, “It looks really good on you.”
Fang Juexia turned to look at him, but Pei Tingsong turned his back to him and added, “I bought it myself.”
He was always so strange. Fang Juexia told himself to learn to get used to it. Pei Tingsong was just different from other boys, so he didn’t refuse him immediately or say anything like ‘no need, I will return it to you.’
“You also need to change your clothes quickly. If you really don’t feel comfortable and don’t want to change, just put on a thicker sweater and wrap yourself up in a thick coat.”
“No.” Pei Tingsong sat up. His pale face currently carried a stubborn expression that declared that he would never concede. “Cool guys can’t just casually wear anything when going out.”
Fang Juexia finally started laughing from amusement. “Alright, cool guy.”
After hastily tidying up, Fang Juexia, regardless of Pei Tingsong’s strong opposition, wrapped him up in a huge cotton-padded coat. Pei Tingsong was originally tall, and now, he had on a huge cotton-padded coat.
“I look like a wall.”
He really deserves to be studying literature— thought Fang Juexia as he sighed in his heart. This metaphor was superb.
“It’s windy outside, so it’s good to wear more.” Fang Juexia helped him into the car and went around to the driver’s seat. “Fasten your seat belt.”
He opened up the GPS on his phone and said to himself, “Let me see first, where is the nearest hospital…”
“Hey, wait.” Pei Tingsong pulled his cellphone away from him and pulled his mask down. “None of the hospitals nearby are good, and there are also so many people there. I don’t want to be photographed. You drive out first, drive out.”
Fang Juexia looked at him, reasoned that the sick person was the most important, and so he did as he said, driving out of their little neighborhood and getting onto the road.
“Then where do you want to go?”
Pei Tingsong let out a very long “en”, with his eyes shifting around and around, and his whole person shrank into his king size cotton-padded coat. Finally, he cleared his throat and said in a super small voice, “I want to go to the hospital your grandfather is being treated at…”
Fang Juexia suddenly stopped the car, parking at the side of the road, looked at him, and said nothing.
Pei Tingsong hurriedly tunneled out of his cotton-padded coat and explained anxiously, “No, um, you see, your grandfather came all the way to Beijing to see a doctor, then the hospital he chose must be very good, right? I…”
“So this is why you suddenly wanted to see a doctor.” Fang Juexia took a deep breath, and the sunlight outside the car window made him squint his eyes. “You actually don’t feel that bad.”
“I feel bad!” Pei Tingsong took Fang Juexia’s hand and put it on his head. “You feel that, it’s still hot. I really feel bad.” His words were filled with such urgency that he choked and started to cough violently and endlessly. He coughed untill it felt that his lungs would almost fall out, but he still didn’t let go of his hand.
Fang Juexia had a cold face, but also possessed a soft heart. Seeing Pei Tingsong cough to this extent, he knew that this person definitely wouldn’t be able to endure work tomorrow. He pulled his hand away, unscrewed the thermos cup he had brought for him, handed it to him, and started the car again. “There will be no next time.”
After taking the cup filled with water, Pei Tingsong, who had coughed until his face turned red, drank some of it. He breathed a bit and then thought that his choking was too timely.
The hospital that Fang Juexia’s grandfather was staying at wasn’t too far from here, only about a 20 minute drive away. Pei Tingsong was feeling really uncomfortable. It wasn’t as exaggerated as he had been acting it to be, but he did still have a fever. As soon as the car started, he fell asleep with his head tilted down.
Even in such a short while, he had a dream.
In his dream, he was back to his childhood days, and was pushing his grandfather’s wheelchair to bask in the sun in the small garden. They read quietly together, and the ivy had already grown green for an entire spring and was about to climb into the back window of his room.
Then, he suddenly heard someone call out for him. The sunshine in his dream was cut into big pieces by a soft knife, the scene in his field of vision being cut into a bunch of broken shapes. He couldn’t see the person who had entered clearly, but he just felt that the voice was familiar, clear and cold, while also revealing a hint of soft warmth.
He woke up. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw the owner of that voice from his dream.
“Wear your mask securely.” Fang Juexia helped him put on his coat, zipped it all the way to the top, and secured his hat. A slightly cool hand extended to the side of his face, the back of the hand then stuck to his cheek to confirm his temperature.
“We arrived so soon.” Pei Tingsong’s voice had become even hoarser. Having just woken up, his whole person felt a bit top-heavy. Even then, he didn’t let Fang Juexia help him up, as if afraid that the other would laugh at him. “I can walk by myself.”
Fang Juexia looked at him, seeming to see a crumbling wall in front of him, and he couldn’t help laughing.
Pei Tingsong looked around and drew closer to Fang Juexia. “Is this the hospital where your grandfather is?”
Fang Juexia nodded. “Let’s go register ba.”
“Hey, wait.” Pei Tingsong grabbed his arm. “You go see your grandfather, it’s fine if I register myself alone.”
Fang Juexia stared at him and didn’t speak. Pei Tingsong said again, “Really, I really can go see a doctor by myself. You go quickly ba. Will he be in the inpatient department?”
“Let’s go register.”
“Why are you acting as a person turning a deaf ear right now? Am I not speaking Chinese?” Pei Tingsong caught him and asked, “We already came here, so you’re not really not going to go ba?”
People were coming and going around them, and Fang Juexia was reluctant to attract any notice towards them. He could only drag Pei Tingsong to a place where there were fewer people, then looked into his eyes and said, “He doesn’t want to see me, do you understand what I mean?” The early spring wind had scattered Fang Juexia’s bangs across his forehead, revealing the red birthmark at the corner of his eyes.
Pei Tingsong didn’t expect it to be like this, but Fang Juexia’s eyes were plainly soft, just like water.
He helped Fang Juexia by pressing down on the brim of his hat to cover his most recognizable mark.
“I don’t know if he wants to see you or not, but I know that you want to see him.”
Fang Juexia just looked at him, the water in his eyes trembling, then suddenly turned his head. The magnolia flowers in the hospital were blooming, cold and white as a pile of snow, but when the spring breeze blew, their stems seemed to soften, trembling with thoughts.
Finally, he was still dragged to the inpatient department by Pei Tingsong. Based on the room number his mama had sent to his cellphone a long time ago, the two people finally found the exact location. Before, he had sent a lot of money to his mama, and had used his connections with a college classmate to have his grandfather admitted to this private hospital. He had even wanted him to live in the VIP ward, but it didn’t seem to have worked. This was just a very ordinary single room, with a big bright window, from which some swaying magnolia flowers could be seen outside.
On the bed lay an old man with his head tilted down, as if he had fallen asleep. Fang Juexia’s mother gently took off the bifocals lying on the bridge of his nose and then took away his newspaper.
Having been tossed around for a long time, Pei Tingsong was now sweating all over. He looked at the situation inside the room through the small window on the door of the room, then turned his head to glance at Fang Juexia’s expression. Seeing that this person’s posture was that of someone who wanted to desert the area in the face of danger, he immediately pushed the door to the room open. His two hands then grasped firmly onto Fang Juexia’s shoulders, and he pushed him forward.
Fang Juexia’s mother raised her head and was stunned. She suddenly saw her son appear at the door, and then also saw Xiao Pei, whom she hadn’t seen for a long time, tilt his head and smile at her as he mouthed out ‘auntie.’
A surprise within a surprise.
With the situation having come to a head, Fang Juexia could only grit his teeth and walk in. He smiled at his mother, then stood at the side of the bed, looking at his sleeping grandfather.
His color looked pretty good, and there was a thin tube in his nostril, with a rising and falling chest, and also this slight snore.
Fang Juexia looked at his mother and asked in a low voice, “Was the operation successful?”
His mother nodded. “It was very good, and he just said he wanted to eat an apple. I didn’t even have time to cut it before he fell asleep while reading the newspaper.”
Pei Tingsong followed Fang Juexia’s example of sitting down and ran to sit beside Mama Fang. Mama Fang looked at him and asked, “Why are you wearing so much, you even have sweat on your forehead. Are you sick?”
Pei Tingsong nodded and answered, “I have a cold.” Saying that, he put on his mask and only showed a pair of smiling eyes.
From outside the window, the shadow of the magnolia tree could be seen reflected on his grandfather’s bed, light and shadow dancing about. Fang Juexia just sat like that quietly, looking at his grandfather without saying a word. The scenario right now was already better than what he had expected. He could visit him so quietly, and his grandfather wouldn’t drive him away in a fit of temper.
Calculating it through, he had already not seen his grandfather for more than a year. The person sleeping in front of him seemed to have gotten a lot older, with his hair growing gray, and even his eyebrows now contained spots of white. Fang Juexia had never even imagined that this person would gradually grow older. In his memory, this person always seemed to stand upright, solemn and serious. No matter where he stood, it always seemed that he was standing on a three chi platform.
He picked up the apple and the fruit knife by the bed and began to peel the apple. The sharp blade embedded into the apple’s flesh as it spun forward bit by bit, while the red skin curled down bit by bit, looking like a slide that he had gone on as a child.
There was a children’s playground in his grandfather’s little neighborhood, which had a red slide. As a child, he would only go there during the winter and summer holidays, and his grandfather would never let him go on the slide, nor would he let him lie by the windowsill to watch. He always said that if Fang Juexia broke his leg that way, there would be a world shaking scene to fight through back home.
Only if he obediently finished a set of Mathematical Olympiad papers would his grandfather lead him outside with a straight face and play with him for half an hour on the slide. However, he wouldn’t crouch down to catch him like other parents, he would instead always stand with his hands behind his back, watching him climb up and then slide down happily again and again.
Half an hour—no more, no less. When the time ran out, his grandfather would leave the playground.
Tiny little Fang Juexia would slide down the slide and run after his grandfather’s back. He would stumble forward until he could reach out and hook onto Grandfather’s fingers. Then he would pant as his steps slowed down and go home with him.
The apple peel had fallen across his entire knee, so Fang Juexia picked it up along with the whole apple and set it on the table. He got up to pour a glass of water for him and then went to Pei Tingsong, interrupting the mouthed conversation he was currently having with his own mama.
“Going now.”
“So fast?” Pei Tingsong took a look at Mama Fang. The other party already seemed fully satisfied and content, with a smile on her face, “Go ba.” Mama Fang raised her head and told Fang Juexia, “Good boy, you take Xiao Pei to get an infusion.”
Fang Juexia nodded and didn’t say much in return, simply pulling Pei Tingsong out of the room. He was silent the whole way—registering him, leading him to see a doctor, and then taking him to get an infusion. The private hospital had a good environment, with fewer people here on a weekday than they had thought. They found an infusion room without any people in it and sat there as the IV dripped.
Even after getting tossed around all morning, Pei Tingsong remained energetic before his mission was fulfilled. However, as soon as he came out of the inpatient ward, his symptoms grew much worse. He was dizzy, and his eyes grew blurry. When the nurse was using a needle to insert the IV, he glanced at it and felt that that one needle had turned into ten.
“It’ll be better after the infusion.” Fang Juexia sat next to him and patted him on the back whenever he coughed.
Pei Tingsong leaned against the back of the chair, looked at the transparent liquid medicine in the IV, and then turned to look at him. “I want to eat apples, too.”
Fang Juexia blinked. “Yet, you didn’t say anything just now.”
Their gazes held for ten seconds, then Pei Tingsong laughed. “I’m deceiving you, I don’t want to eat it.” He touched his throat with the hand that wasn’t connected to the IV drip. “My throat hurts.”
This action reminded Fang Juexia of his own throat, so he pulled at the collar of his sweater, looked down at the tip of his shoes, then glanced at Pei Tingsong’s long legs, which were acting strangely, constantly being drawn in, then stretched out.
“You…” Pei Tingsong finally opened his mouth, his voice in a rare state of uncertainty. “Do you think I’m being a busybody?”
Fang Juexia unscrewed the thermos cup, drank some water, and then tightened it again. The warm water flowed down his irritated throat and warmed his whole body. Speaking truthfully, after seeing his grandfather lying on the hospital bed safe and sound, it seemed that the big stone that had been pressing down on his heart for a long time had finally been removed.
Pei Tingsong was very eccentric. He didn’t know much about the saying of ‘not inquiring much into the affairs of people’, and he neither understood nor cared about following such social etiquette. In any case, whatever Pei Tingsong wanted to do must succeed, and he was also the complete opposite of himself.
But, to some extent, Fang Juexia was a little grateful. Grateful that Pei Tingsong had tried his best to build a step and had dragged him down to meet the person he wanted to see.
He did not reply to Pei Tingsong’s question from just now, but just looked at the white wall in front of him as he opened his mouth—
“My grandfather is a very conservative person. My grandmother passed away before I was born, and my mom is his only child.”
Pei Tingsong was a little surprised. He hadn’t expected Fang Juexia to actually tell him about his family.
“My mom had never left him before she went to university. Later, she went to Guangzhou for college and met my…” Fang Juexia hesitated before speaking, “My father. Grandfather didn’t allow them to be together, he felt that a dancer like my dad was very unreliable, and he didn’t want my mom to leave him and go so far south. They had a big fight, and then my mom secretly got on a train, left Shandong, and got a marriage license with my dad.”
Pei Tingsong listened quietly. With his background, it was a bit difficult for him to understand this kind of domestic conflict between two generations, but the elopement seemed to be a very romantic thing to him.
But romance often came at a price.
“Until I was born, my mom didn’t go back. At first, he didn’t want to see us. My mom told me that she stood at the door and kept calling and calling, but he wouldn’t answer any of the calls and wouldn’t open the door. Later, when I grew up a bit, he seemed to compromise a little. When I went back, he was willing to see me and even tidied up a small room for me. Occasionally, he would help me with my lessons.” Fang Juexia lowered his head as he continued speaking very slowly and in a very low voice, “My grandfather is a math teacher and has taught all his life. He said I was smarter than my mom, sensitive to numbers, and a good sprout.”
The story seemed to be developing in a better direction, but the sense of loss in Fang Juexia’s voice couldn’t be hidden.
“And then?” Pei Tingsong asked.
Fang Juexia drew in a breath. “Then it was just me and my mom. Grandfather wanted us to come back to stay with him. But…”
Pei Tingsong watched his profile.
“But I also liked dancing, I wanted to dance, so I stayed in Guangzhou to learn dance.”
“He was very disappointed. I was the same kind of person as my dad.”
It was these simple and condensed words that allowed Pei Tingsong to see the miniature of Fang Juexia’s childhood. He seemed to have thousands upon thousands of words in his heart, but these thousands upon thousands of words were all stuck in his throat, and he couldn’t utter any of them.
“You want to eat an apple?” Fang Juexia got up, seemingly ready to go out. “I’ll go buy some for you.”
“I don’t want to eat that.” Pei Tingsong grabbed his arm, ensuring that he couldn’t leave. “I said I was joking.”
“Okay ba.” Fang Juexia sat back and looked at that white wall.
Suddenly, he was hugged by Pei Tingsong. Crossing across his vision was the transparent IV tube that had gotten involved, and Pei Tingsong’s arms were looped around his neck, embracing him.
“I feel so bad…” He had a sore throat, but his tone was soft as he said, “Lend me a hug.”
Pei Tingsong’s head shrank into the hollows of Fang Juexia’s shoulder. He was like a big sick dog right now, rubbing against him while holding him tightly. Fang Juexia didn’t have the heart to push him away, so he convinced himself in his heart that if they were friends, hugging for a bit was very normal ba.
The little clock in his heart ticked by, matching with the drops of water that dripped down the IV. Drop by drop, they slid into his heart, tickling a bit—just like a drop of morning dew gathered on the tip of a leaf after the spring rain, falling neatly onto his shoulder.
“Fang Juexia.” The silence lasted for a minute and a half, after which Pei Tingsong once again broke it with his voice.
Fang Juexia set his own head on top of his head as a response, and while he was at it, also waited for his follow-up. In this bone-to-bone intimacy, Pei Tingsong stuck close to him, and in that warm voice that appeared after a low fever, said, “Didn’t you say that you won’t have any emotions when dealing with people you don’t care about? There’s always a basis for a temper like that. Your grandfather must be the same as you.”
As he spoke, the warm air from his breath sprayed against the side of Fang Juexia’s neck, carefully moistening the soft sweater.
“It’s because he loves you that he’s sulking at you.”
Fang Juexia was a little stunned, and the length of the second ticking in the little clock in his heart dragged longer, doubling, or even quadrupling in length at the moment.
“And you’re not wrong, you’re not wasting your talent at all…”
Fang Juexia’s mind was in a whirl, as if he were the one who was sick. Every word being transmitted over from Pei Tingsong’s mouth left a lengthy shock.
“You just belong on the stage.”
Translated by juurensha
Edited by Noks
I know that you want to see him.
“What did you just say?”
Cheng Qiang nearly directly hit the brakes. “Xiao Pei kissed who?”
“It was an accident, aiya, Xiao Pei isn’t gay.” He didn’t have the time to explain too much to his own family’s agent; Ling Yi, who had just gotten first-hand fresh hot melons, directly forwarded a screenshot of Pei Tingsong’s private chat to the groupchat of five people besides Pei Tingsong, which was named— [Weeding out the strong, supporting the weak, boycotting the band tyrant (5)]
[The Original M-Dash: Forwarded a message]
[The Original M-Dash: Brothers, I come with a source of happiness!]
[Your Fire Ge is still Your Fire Ge: IsThisFriendYou’reTalkingAboutYourself.jpg]
[The Original M-Dash: And the person he kissed is definitely a man, I dare to bet my next life’s height on this! This whole heap of panic in his tone is absolutely from accidentally having kissed a man!]
[National first-class flower-hand dance performer: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha a single AF person can’t be picky]
[The Original M-Dash: Speaking of that, is it true that Xiao Pei has never dated ah? He’s so handsome, it can’t be that he isn’t to people’s tastes abroad?]
[Your Fire Ge is still Your Fire Ge: How can that be. I’ve chatted with him about it before, he thinks that dating is meaningless and a waste of time. You don’t understand the ideas an adolescent second child carries….]
[The Original M-Dash: Holy shit, this can’t be the little overlord’s first kiss ba?!]
[National first-class flower-hand dance performer: Wait, let me stroke my beard here. Xiao Pei has been running around to all kinds of events these days, and wasn’t he still filming ‘Escape For Your Life’ yesterday? Where did he get the time to meet a friend? And then even kiss them…]
[The Household’s Essential Good Captain: Xiao Wen told me that Xiao Pei and Juexia both slept at Xiao Pei’s apartment last night.]
[The Original M-Dash: Shit]
[National first-class flower hand dance performer:???]
[Your Fire Ge is still Your Fire Ge: wow]
[The Original M-Dash: It’s over, I should have sent this to the four people group chat… It’s too late to withdraw it now ba.]
After not receiving Ling Yi’s reply for a long time, Pei Tingsong started to feel that it was a little strange, so, taking advantage of the time during which Fang Juexia went out to cook porridge, he sent another message—
[Kaleido’s Number One Big Boss: Why are you silent? I’m in a hurry to tell my friend something.]
He poked him and really got a reply.
[The Original M-Dash: They can be friends. Friends should just be warm and intimate, and even kissing some more would be fine, don’t worry ah.]
Really?
Pei Tingsong’s current expression looked like the meme of the old man in the subway looking at his cellphone. Soon, Fang Juexia came in carrying a bowl of porridge and asked, “Why are you still not resting? Today is your only chance to rest. There is a press conference being held for a new endorsement tomorrow.”
After locking his cellphone, Pei Tingsong pretended that nothing had happened and tried to divert his attention. “Um, your cellphone was just vibrating.”
Fang Juexia let out an “en” and sat down beside the bed. It seemed that he didn’t plan to look at his cellphone.
He picked up the bowl of thick porridge and stirred it with a spoon, making the hot steam from it churn up into a cloud. The gap in the curtains allowed a vertical beam of sunlight into the room, which just fell perfectly on Fang Juexia’s face. His dark brown hair shone with a gold luster, his fine pale skin grew more transparent, and the capillaries in his eyes contained just a touch of cyan, thus seeming like a thread twisting, thin and shallow, with their tail-end hooking onto his red birthmark.
Pei Tingsong thought of that white eustoma. It had also been exactly like this—with the sun peeling off its skin, those fresh veins being exposed through the snow-white wound.
“Eat this while it’s still hot.” Fang Juexia handed the bowl to Pei Tingsong and looked up at him.
Hurriedly turning his head away, Pei Tingsong almost reached for it, but suddenly felt that this scene was wrong. He remembered the idol dramas that Ling Yi watched in the car every time they were traveling to events. When the hero in those shows was ill, the heroine always fed them food spoonful after spoonful, without the hero having to move around at all.
Seeing him act unruly, a tiny frown appeared on Fang Juexia’s and he asked with a little doubt, “Don’t want to eat?”
Pei Tingsong took a deep breath and then started coughing endlessly. He pulled out all of his acting skills, which surpassed the extent taught in idol school, and pretended to be weak. “I can’t lift my hands…”
Fang Juexia felt that was strange. “Is your fever that bad?” He placed the bowl on the bedside table and reached for Pei Tingsong’s forehead.
Pei Tingsong watched him put down the bowl, and felt that everything was deviating from his imagination, but he couldn’t say anything at this point.
He couldn’t actually directly tell Fang Juexia—‘If you feed me, I’ll eat it ba.’
“Logically speaking, your fever should have gone down after taking medicine… and there’s no thermometer here.” Fang Juexia’s eyebrows twisted, and he thought for a while before proposing, “Why don’t we still go to the hospital ba? You get up and put on some more clothes, and we’ll go to the hospital.”
Ah?
“No need, no need, I’m not going to the hospital.” Pei Tingsong knew that his illness wasn’t that serious. “I’m already this old, and it’s just a cold, there’s no need to go to the hospital.”
“Doesn’t matter how old you are. Your forehead is completely sweaty.” Fang Juexia wanted to drag him up from the bed, but Pei Tingsong was adamant about not going. “I’ll just have something to eat and sleep for a bit, and then I’ll be fine. I really don’t have to go to the hospital.”
After hearing him say this, Fang Juexia had no other options. Thinking about it, he even felt a little guilty; if he hadn’t just wrapped him in a bath towel yesterday, and had made him put on all his clothes properly, perhaps Pei Tingsong wouldn’t have gone as far as falling ill.
“Then you’d still better eat some of this. Although it doesn’t really taste like anything, there’s nothing else in your apartment besides rice.” Fang Juexia stirred the porridge, scooped up a spoonful, and stretched it over towards his mouth. He reflexively continued, “Next time…”
Halfway through speaking, Fang Juexia suddenly paused and stopped talking. Even the hand that was stretching the spoon over to the corner of Pei Tingsong’s mouth stopped.
Next time? What next time? It couldn’t be that he really wanted to cook for Pei Tingsong again?
Pei Tingsong saw him pause and stop talking, and deliberately prompted him, “What about next time? Will you cook something delicious for me next time? Last time, auntie even asked you to make fried rice for me.” The porridge had even been sent right next to his mouth, and Pei Tingsong drew closer to it as soon as he finished talking. However, who would have known that in the next moment, the cellphone that Fang Juexia had abandoned to the side would begin to ring endlessly.
“Who’s calling me…” Fang Juexia said to himself as he put the bowl down and went around to the other side of the bed to pick up the cellphone.
There had been only one millimeter left before he could have swallowed the porridge. Pei Tingsong was so angry that he propped himself up directly and then helped himself to two big mouthfuls of it.
Realizing that he—Pei Tingsong, all-powerful for 20 years, a devil incarnate who feared neither the heavens nor the earth—had been playing at a push-and-pull game with a bowl of porridge for such a long time, he really felt like he had to die laughing.
“Awake?” Fang Juexia stood by the side of the bed as he took the call. His facial expression seemed to change, and his voice grew much lower. “…If grandfather woke up, that’s good. I’ll just… I won’t go ba, so to avoid that upon seeing me, he’ll again…”
Pei Tingsong looked at him and kept feeling that this person had worries weighing on his mind.
“En.” Fang Juexia bowed his head as he spoke, “I’m also very busy now, and I can’t head over there. Mom, take good care of him. Tomorrow? There’s work tomorrow too…”
He was silent for a while before finally hanging up. With his back to Pei Tingsong, he sat by the bed, and then remembered that his phone had been vibrating because of messages, so he bowed his head to check them. Originally, there really had been many WeChat messages appearing on the lock screen interface, but as soon as he clicked on one of them, they all disappeared, leaving behind only an announcement saying that the group chat had suddenly been deleted.
“Why did they suddenly delete it…”
Pei Tingsong clenched his fist and coughed. He asked in a hoarse voice, “What’s been deleted?”
“A group chat.” Remembering that this group chat did not contain Pei Tingsong, Fang Juexia didn’t intend to say anymore, lest he find out that his group members had secretly created a group chat behind his back, and grow more angry at that. “Nothing really.”
“There is something ba?” Pei Tingsong asked tentatively, “Auntie was the one who called you just now?”
Fang Juexia nodded, but didn’t say anything more.
Pei Tingsong remembered that Fang Juexia’s mother had come to Beijing last time because of his grandfather’s illness. Listening to the phone call from just now, it seemed that it was still about that. He sort of knew about the situation, but he didn’t know any specific details about what had happened. However, Fang Juexia’s expression just now seemed to be very sad.
Due to the environment he had grown up in, Pei Tingsong wasn’t used to expressing his thoughts euphemistically at all. He just went straight to the point and did what he wanted. However, he also knew that Fang Juexia was a person who didn’t want others to interfere in his private affairs; he hadn’t even bothered to explain the situation concerning the hidden rules issue ever before.
Fang Juexia looked at the porridge that had been touched. “Eat some more? You can only get better quickly by eating.”
Unexpectedly, Pei Tingsong grew so uncomfortable that he dropped his own body askew right next to Fang Juexia’s hand, and his voice sounded so weak that it felt like it could start floating up. “So uncomfortable ah, Fang Juexia… I hurt as soon as I swallow, and all my bones hurt, all over my body.”
“How is it so serious?” Fang Juexia frowned, reached out and touched his face, then touched the back of his neck. All of these spots were really hot. “Then what should we do?”
Pei Tingsong looked as if he was about to ascend to the heavens. “I think I’d better go to the hospital ba…”
Looking at Pei Tingsong’s sickly appearance, Fang Juexia didn’t even dare to say anything harsh. “Just now when I said we should go to the hospital, you refused to go. Now you feel worse ba?” He sighed, got up, and opened the wardrobe while asking, “Do you have a turtleneck, lend me one.”
“Ah? There are some ba… You can look for it.”
He couldn’t think too much about it. As soon as he did, he would end up recalling his own animal behavior of biting Fang Juexia’s Adam’s apple.
Fang Juexia, with his back to him, rummaged through the wardrobe piece by piece before finding a dark green turtleneck sweater and taking it out. He was only thinking about covering up the wound, and he didn’t have the time to care about anything else, so he just crisply and decisively took off his pajama top.
At this time, Pei Tingsong, who was lying on the bed and pretending to be dead, looked up. He had just wanted to see which turtleneck Fang Juexia had chosen, but he hadn’t expected a spotless, pale body to collide with his eyes. As Fang Juexia moved to pull the sweater on, his back muscles pulled at the lines of the back of his waist, looking just like a piece of flowing glaze porcelain.
The mirror in the wardrobe reflected Fang Juexia’s thin waist. His abdominal muscles weren’t lumps, but were instead smooth and flat marks that looked like the character 川—pliable, tough, and pale.
His head flew as he turned his eyes away quickly.
How could there be a man with such a thin waist?
“I’m wearing this one.” Fang Juexia turned around, pulling at the too big clothes, and looked into his eyes. “It’s fine ba?”
Pei Tingsong raised his eyes and let out an “en.”
Fang Juexia hadn’t expected to hear any good words from him anyway. He picked up his pajamas and was ready to go change his pants, after which he would take him to see a doctor. “After I go back…”
“I’ll give it to you.”
He stopped and heard Pei Tingsong say from behind him, “It looks really good on you.”
Fang Juexia turned to look at him, but Pei Tingsong turned his back to him and added, “I bought it myself.”
He was always so strange. Fang Juexia told himself to learn to get used to it. Pei Tingsong was just different from other boys, so he didn’t refuse him immediately or say anything like ‘no need, I will return it to you.’
“You also need to change your clothes quickly. If you really don’t feel comfortable and don’t want to change, just put on a thicker sweater and wrap yourself up in a thick coat.”
“No.” Pei Tingsong sat up. His pale face currently carried a stubborn expression that declared that he would never concede. “Cool guys can’t just casually wear anything when going out.”
Fang Juexia finally started laughing from amusement. “Alright, cool guy.”
After hastily tidying up, Fang Juexia, regardless of Pei Tingsong’s strong opposition, wrapped him up in a huge cotton-padded coat. Pei Tingsong was originally tall, and now, he had on a huge cotton-padded coat.
“I look like a wall.”
He really deserves to be studying literature— thought Fang Juexia as he sighed in his heart. This metaphor was superb.
“It’s windy outside, so it’s good to wear more.” Fang Juexia helped him into the car and went around to the driver’s seat. “Fasten your seat belt.”
He opened up the GPS on his phone and said to himself, “Let me see first, where is the nearest hospital…”
“Hey, wait.” Pei Tingsong pulled his cellphone away from him and pulled his mask down. “None of the hospitals nearby are good, and there are also so many people there. I don’t want to be photographed. You drive out first, drive out.”
Fang Juexia looked at him, reasoned that the sick person was the most important, and so he did as he said, driving out of their little neighborhood and getting onto the road.
“Then where do you want to go?”
Pei Tingsong let out a very long “en”, with his eyes shifting around and around, and his whole person shrank into his king size cotton-padded coat. Finally, he cleared his throat and said in a super small voice, “I want to go to the hospital your grandfather is being treated at…”
Fang Juexia suddenly stopped the car, parking at the side of the road, looked at him, and said nothing.
Pei Tingsong hurriedly tunneled out of his cotton-padded coat and explained anxiously, “No, um, you see, your grandfather came all the way to Beijing to see a doctor, then the hospital he chose must be very good, right? I…”
“So this is why you suddenly wanted to see a doctor.” Fang Juexia took a deep breath, and the sunlight outside the car window made him squint his eyes. “You actually don’t feel that bad.”
“I feel bad!” Pei Tingsong took Fang Juexia’s hand and put it on his head. “You feel that, it’s still hot. I really feel bad.” His words were filled with such urgency that he choked and started to cough violently and endlessly. He coughed untill it felt that his lungs would almost fall out, but he still didn’t let go of his hand.
Fang Juexia had a cold face, but also possessed a soft heart. Seeing Pei Tingsong cough to this extent, he knew that this person definitely wouldn’t be able to endure work tomorrow. He pulled his hand away, unscrewed the thermos cup he had brought for him, handed it to him, and started the car again. “There will be no next time.”
After taking the cup filled with water, Pei Tingsong, who had coughed until his face turned red, drank some of it. He breathed a bit and then thought that his choking was too timely.
The hospital that Fang Juexia’s grandfather was staying at wasn’t too far from here, only about a 20 minute drive away. Pei Tingsong was feeling really uncomfortable. It wasn’t as exaggerated as he had been acting it to be, but he did still have a fever. As soon as the car started, he fell asleep with his head tilted down.
Even in such a short while, he had a dream.
In his dream, he was back to his childhood days, and was pushing his grandfather’s wheelchair to bask in the sun in the small garden. They read quietly together, and the ivy had already grown green for an entire spring and was about to climb into the back window of his room.
Then, he suddenly heard someone call out for him. The sunshine in his dream was cut into big pieces by a soft knife, the scene in his field of vision being cut into a bunch of broken shapes. He couldn’t see the person who had entered clearly, but he just felt that the voice was familiar, clear and cold, while also revealing a hint of soft warmth.
He woke up. As soon as he opened his eyes, he saw the owner of that voice from his dream.
“Wear your mask securely.” Fang Juexia helped him put on his coat, zipped it all the way to the top, and secured his hat. A slightly cool hand extended to the side of his face, the back of the hand then stuck to his cheek to confirm his temperature.
“We arrived so soon.” Pei Tingsong’s voice had become even hoarser. Having just woken up, his whole person felt a bit top-heavy. Even then, he didn’t let Fang Juexia help him up, as if afraid that the other would laugh at him. “I can walk by myself.”
Fang Juexia looked at him, seeming to see a crumbling wall in front of him, and he couldn’t help laughing.
Pei Tingsong looked around and drew closer to Fang Juexia. “Is this the hospital where your grandfather is?”
Fang Juexia nodded. “Let’s go register ba.”
“Hey, wait.” Pei Tingsong grabbed his arm. “You go see your grandfather, it’s fine if I register myself alone.”
Fang Juexia stared at him and didn’t speak. Pei Tingsong said again, “Really, I really can go see a doctor by myself. You go quickly ba. Will he be in the inpatient department?”
“Let’s go register.”
“Why are you acting as a person turning a deaf ear right now? Am I not speaking Chinese?” Pei Tingsong caught him and asked, “We already came here, so you’re not really not going to go ba?”
People were coming and going around them, and Fang Juexia was reluctant to attract any notice towards them. He could only drag Pei Tingsong to a place where there were fewer people, then looked into his eyes and said, “He doesn’t want to see me, do you understand what I mean?” The early spring wind had scattered Fang Juexia’s bangs across his forehead, revealing the red birthmark at the corner of his eyes.
Pei Tingsong didn’t expect it to be like this, but Fang Juexia’s eyes were plainly soft, just like water.
He helped Fang Juexia by pressing down on the brim of his hat to cover his most recognizable mark.
“I don’t know if he wants to see you or not, but I know that you want to see him.”
Fang Juexia just looked at him, the water in his eyes trembling, then suddenly turned his head. The magnolia flowers in the hospital were blooming, cold and white as a pile of snow, but when the spring breeze blew, their stems seemed to soften, trembling with thoughts.
Finally, he was still dragged to the inpatient department by Pei Tingsong. Based on the room number his mama had sent to his cellphone a long time ago, the two people finally found the exact location. Before, he had sent a lot of money to his mama, and had used his connections with a college classmate to have his grandfather admitted to this private hospital. He had even wanted him to live in the VIP ward, but it didn’t seem to have worked. This was just a very ordinary single room, with a big bright window, from which some swaying magnolia flowers could be seen outside.
On the bed lay an old man with his head tilted down, as if he had fallen asleep. Fang Juexia’s mother gently took off the bifocals lying on the bridge of his nose and then took away his newspaper.
Having been tossed around for a long time, Pei Tingsong was now sweating all over. He looked at the situation inside the room through the small window on the door of the room, then turned his head to glance at Fang Juexia’s expression. Seeing that this person’s posture was that of someone who wanted to desert the area in the face of danger, he immediately pushed the door to the room open. His two hands then grasped firmly onto Fang Juexia’s shoulders, and he pushed him forward.
Fang Juexia’s mother raised her head and was stunned. She suddenly saw her son appear at the door, and then also saw Xiao Pei, whom she hadn’t seen for a long time, tilt his head and smile at her as he mouthed out ‘auntie.’
A surprise within a surprise.
With the situation having come to a head, Fang Juexia could only grit his teeth and walk in. He smiled at his mother, then stood at the side of the bed, looking at his sleeping grandfather.
His color looked pretty good, and there was a thin tube in his nostril, with a rising and falling chest, and also this slight snore.
Fang Juexia looked at his mother and asked in a low voice, “Was the operation successful?”
His mother nodded. “It was very good, and he just said he wanted to eat an apple. I didn’t even have time to cut it before he fell asleep while reading the newspaper.”
Pei Tingsong followed Fang Juexia’s example of sitting down and ran to sit beside Mama Fang. Mama Fang looked at him and asked, “Why are you wearing so much, you even have sweat on your forehead. Are you sick?”
Pei Tingsong nodded and answered, “I have a cold.” Saying that, he put on his mask and only showed a pair of smiling eyes.
From outside the window, the shadow of the magnolia tree could be seen reflected on his grandfather’s bed, light and shadow dancing about. Fang Juexia just sat like that quietly, looking at his grandfather without saying a word. The scenario right now was already better than what he had expected. He could visit him so quietly, and his grandfather wouldn’t drive him away in a fit of temper.
Calculating it through, he had already not seen his grandfather for more than a year. The person sleeping in front of him seemed to have gotten a lot older, with his hair growing gray, and even his eyebrows now contained spots of white. Fang Juexia had never even imagined that this person would gradually grow older. In his memory, this person always seemed to stand upright, solemn and serious. No matter where he stood, it always seemed that he was standing on a three chi platform.
He picked up the apple and the fruit knife by the bed and began to peel the apple. The sharp blade embedded into the apple’s flesh as it spun forward bit by bit, while the red skin curled down bit by bit, looking like a slide that he had gone on as a child.
There was a children’s playground in his grandfather’s little neighborhood, which had a red slide. As a child, he would only go there during the winter and summer holidays, and his grandfather would never let him go on the slide, nor would he let him lie by the windowsill to watch. He always said that if Fang Juexia broke his leg that way, there would be a world shaking scene to fight through back home.
Only if he obediently finished a set of Mathematical Olympiad papers would his grandfather lead him outside with a straight face and play with him for half an hour on the slide. However, he wouldn’t crouch down to catch him like other parents, he would instead always stand with his hands behind his back, watching him climb up and then slide down happily again and again.
Half an hour—no more, no less. When the time ran out, his grandfather would leave the playground.
Tiny little Fang Juexia would slide down the slide and run after his grandfather’s back. He would stumble forward until he could reach out and hook onto Grandfather’s fingers. Then he would pant as his steps slowed down and go home with him.
The apple peel had fallen across his entire knee, so Fang Juexia picked it up along with the whole apple and set it on the table. He got up to pour a glass of water for him and then went to Pei Tingsong, interrupting the mouthed conversation he was currently having with his own mama.
“Going now.”
“So fast?” Pei Tingsong took a look at Mama Fang. The other party already seemed fully satisfied and content, with a smile on her face, “Go ba.” Mama Fang raised her head and told Fang Juexia, “Good boy, you take Xiao Pei to get an infusion.”
Fang Juexia nodded and didn’t say much in return, simply pulling Pei Tingsong out of the room. He was silent the whole way—registering him, leading him to see a doctor, and then taking him to get an infusion. The private hospital had a good environment, with fewer people here on a weekday than they had thought. They found an infusion room without any people in it and sat there as the IV dripped.
Even after getting tossed around all morning, Pei Tingsong remained energetic before his mission was fulfilled. However, as soon as he came out of the inpatient ward, his symptoms grew much worse. He was dizzy, and his eyes grew blurry. When the nurse was using a needle to insert the IV, he glanced at it and felt that that one needle had turned into ten.
“It’ll be better after the infusion.” Fang Juexia sat next to him and patted him on the back whenever he coughed.
Pei Tingsong leaned against the back of the chair, looked at the transparent liquid medicine in the IV, and then turned to look at him. “I want to eat apples, too.”
Fang Juexia blinked. “Yet, you didn’t say anything just now.”
Their gazes held for ten seconds, then Pei Tingsong laughed. “I’m deceiving you, I don’t want to eat it.” He touched his throat with the hand that wasn’t connected to the IV drip. “My throat hurts.”
This action reminded Fang Juexia of his own throat, so he pulled at the collar of his sweater, looked down at the tip of his shoes, then glanced at Pei Tingsong’s long legs, which were acting strangely, constantly being drawn in, then stretched out.
“You…” Pei Tingsong finally opened his mouth, his voice in a rare state of uncertainty. “Do you think I’m being a busybody?”
Fang Juexia unscrewed the thermos cup, drank some water, and then tightened it again. The warm water flowed down his irritated throat and warmed his whole body. Speaking truthfully, after seeing his grandfather lying on the hospital bed safe and sound, it seemed that the big stone that had been pressing down on his heart for a long time had finally been removed.
Pei Tingsong was very eccentric. He didn’t know much about the saying of ‘not inquiring much into the affairs of people’, and he neither understood nor cared about following such social etiquette. In any case, whatever Pei Tingsong wanted to do must succeed, and he was also the complete opposite of himself.
But, to some extent, Fang Juexia was a little grateful. Grateful that Pei Tingsong had tried his best to build a step and had dragged him down to meet the person he wanted to see.
He did not reply to Pei Tingsong’s question from just now, but just looked at the white wall in front of him as he opened his mouth—
“My grandfather is a very conservative person. My grandmother passed away before I was born, and my mom is his only child.”
Pei Tingsong was a little surprised. He hadn’t expected Fang Juexia to actually tell him about his family.
“My mom had never left him before she went to university. Later, she went to Guangzhou for college and met my…” Fang Juexia hesitated before speaking, “My father. Grandfather didn’t allow them to be together, he felt that a dancer like my dad was very unreliable, and he didn’t want my mom to leave him and go so far south. They had a big fight, and then my mom secretly got on a train, left Shandong, and got a marriage license with my dad.”
Pei Tingsong listened quietly. With his background, it was a bit difficult for him to understand this kind of domestic conflict between two generations, but the elopement seemed to be a very romantic thing to him.
But romance often came at a price.
“Until I was born, my mom didn’t go back. At first, he didn’t want to see us. My mom told me that she stood at the door and kept calling and calling, but he wouldn’t answer any of the calls and wouldn’t open the door. Later, when I grew up a bit, he seemed to compromise a little. When I went back, he was willing to see me and even tidied up a small room for me. Occasionally, he would help me with my lessons.” Fang Juexia lowered his head as he continued speaking very slowly and in a very low voice, “My grandfather is a math teacher and has taught all his life. He said I was smarter than my mom, sensitive to numbers, and a good sprout.”
The story seemed to be developing in a better direction, but the sense of loss in Fang Juexia’s voice couldn’t be hidden.
“And then?” Pei Tingsong asked.
Fang Juexia drew in a breath. “Then it was just me and my mom. Grandfather wanted us to come back to stay with him. But…”
Pei Tingsong watched his profile.
“But I also liked dancing, I wanted to dance, so I stayed in Guangzhou to learn dance.”
“He was very disappointed. I was the same kind of person as my dad.”
It was these simple and condensed words that allowed Pei Tingsong to see the miniature of Fang Juexia’s childhood. He seemed to have thousands upon thousands of words in his heart, but these thousands upon thousands of words were all stuck in his throat, and he couldn’t utter any of them.
“You want to eat an apple?” Fang Juexia got up, seemingly ready to go out. “I’ll go buy some for you.”
“I don’t want to eat that.” Pei Tingsong grabbed his arm, ensuring that he couldn’t leave. “I said I was joking.”
“Okay ba.” Fang Juexia sat back and looked at that white wall.
Suddenly, he was hugged by Pei Tingsong. Crossing across his vision was the transparent IV tube that had gotten involved, and Pei Tingsong’s arms were looped around his neck, embracing him.
“I feel so bad…” He had a sore throat, but his tone was soft as he said, “Lend me a hug.”
Pei Tingsong’s head shrank into the hollows of Fang Juexia’s shoulder. He was like a big sick dog right now, rubbing against him while holding him tightly. Fang Juexia didn’t have the heart to push him away, so he convinced himself in his heart that if they were friends, hugging for a bit was very normal ba.
The little clock in his heart ticked by, matching with the drops of water that dripped down the IV. Drop by drop, they slid into his heart, tickling a bit—just like a drop of morning dew gathered on the tip of a leaf after the spring rain, falling neatly onto his shoulder.
“Fang Juexia.” The silence lasted for a minute and a half, after which Pei Tingsong once again broke it with his voice.
Fang Juexia set his own head on top of his head as a response, and while he was at it, also waited for his follow-up. In this bone-to-bone intimacy, Pei Tingsong stuck close to him, and in that warm voice that appeared after a low fever, said, “Didn’t you say that you won’t have any emotions when dealing with people you don’t care about? There’s always a basis for a temper like that. Your grandfather must be the same as you.”
As he spoke, the warm air from his breath sprayed against the side of Fang Juexia’s neck, carefully moistening the soft sweater.
“It’s because he loves you that he’s sulking at you.”
Fang Juexia was a little stunned, and the length of the second ticking in the little clock in his heart dragged longer, doubling, or even quadrupling in length at the moment.
“And you’re not wrong, you’re not wasting your talent at all…”
Fang Juexia’s mind was in a whirl, as if he were the one who was sick. Every word being transmitted over from Pei Tingsong’s mouth left a lengthy shock.
“You just belong on the stage.”
