Translated by juurensha
Edited by Noks
A weight that must be borne
“Fire Ge.” Ling Yi ran over and hugged He Ziyan’s neck from behind. “Don’t say it like that, I’m so sad.”
“Hey, hey, you’re gripping me too tight.” He Ziyan laughed, and when he turned his head to see Ling Yi crying again, he found it both funny and pitiful. “You really are a cry-baby, crying whenever you meet anything. Just don’t get any snot on me.”
“I’m just very sad.” Ling Yi’s mouth was pursed, and his tears were still dripping down, one big drop after another. Lu Yuan was the same, gulping down cup after cup of alcohol after hearing this, both angry and sad. “They must think you will explode in popularity after this drama, and want to prevent that from happening. Last time, it was gossip about an affair, this time, it’s about family, they’re too disgusting.”
Fang Juexia understood them being in such a mood. Lu Yuan and Ling Yi came from happy families, and even more, Ling Yi was a child who had been spoiled as he was growing up. When he thought of He Ziyan’s life, he would definitely compare it with his own, and would be very sympathetic.
On the contrary, Jiang Miao, Pei Tingsong, and him, the three of them seemed very silent; they wanted to comfort He Ziyan, but couldn’t think of any words to comfort him with. Fang Juexia couldn’t help but glance at Pei Tingsong, only to see him looking down, his eyelashes casting long shadows under the booth’s light, making him imagine the clouds that floated in the sky during midsummer, and how the shadows of those clouds would also appear on the ground.
Jiang Miao had been very silent from the beginning; he was always calm, but he was also the most comforting person in their group. Fang Juexia looked at his thin shoulders; he had worked too hard after his drama had started filming, and he seemed to have shrunk a bit.
It was also strange to think that there were several children from unhappy families in their group. It seemed like a coincidence, but it was just that real.
Fang Juexia couldn’t help recalling how, when he was a child, his teacher always said that the adjective in front of the word ‘family’ should be “happy” and “blessed”, and so he would look forward to such a ‘happy’ family, mistakenly thinking that everyone’s family was a happy family.
Now, it seemed that everyone was aware of only the changes they personally went through in life, while there were how many broken families that really existed around everyone.
They couldn’t continue eating their celebratory meal anymore, so Cheng Qiang arranged for people to send the members back to their dormitories, while asking Jiang Miao to comfort He Ziyan a bit before he rushed back to the company to work overtime.
On the way from the parking lot to the dormitory elevator, the people in front talked noisily, while Fang Juexia and Jiang Miao walked behind.
“Miao Ge,” Fang Juexia took the initiative to ask, “have you known about this for a long time?” In fact, his tone made it clear that he wasn’t asking a question, and that he was just verifying his own answer.
Jiang Miao also smiled. “Yes.”
His eyes moved to He Ziyan who was walking in front of him. “When I first entered the company, the company arranged for us to live together. He asked me why I cared for my younger sister so much, and I confessed that my parents had died together in the plane crash, leaving just the two of us to grow up together with relatives, which is why I can’t help but take care of her.” He took a breath. “Later, he told me about his matters. With everyone comparing their miseries together, and then both looking after each other, life didn’t seem so miserable anymore.”
Fang Juexia had guessed something similar.
After listening to Jiang Miao’s words, the idea that he should confess to them also popped up in Fang Juexia’s mind, that he should tell them about everything that he had gone through, from his nightmarish father to the darkness that he had dealt with for so many years.
But looking at the heaviness on Jiang Miao’s face, he felt that now was not a good time. He didn’t want his experience to cloud over other people’s worries.
They were similar, both covered with a mature shell. If they took it off, what one may find hidden inside may still be a child who couldn’t grow up or run away. No matter how much time passed, that child would always be hiding inside.
No one could erase the existence of this child, and the best way to deal with him was to maintain a peaceful coexistence with him.
From not too far away, Ling Yi waved at them, who were behind him, and yelled, “Hurry up ya, the elevator is closing.”
“The definition of family is sometimes very narrow.” Fang Juexia suddenly opened his mouth again, and sounded as if he were making some kind of mathematical conjecture or judgment.
Jiang Miao, who had already walked forward quickly, turned back upon hearing Fang Juexia and looked at him with complicated eyes. He looked at his thin shoulders and the rare fire in his always cold eyes right now.
“We are family, too.” He said seriously.
.
Cheng Qiang went back to the company and dealt with this matter while restraining his anger. The mess last time, the one about the dating gossip, could be said to simply be a common routine in the circle, but the rumors this time were just low-down and the worst.
Originally, with this type of gossip creating an uproar, Star Chart and the public relations team would have found it difficult to reduce the impact of such rumors, because no matter how they tried to explain and clarify it, no one could really speak about sensitive matters, moreso with it termed as corruption. Some people would say it was an issue with the public security system, while others would say it involved the financial affairs of an enterprise; in a word, the moment the rumor first came out, then no matter what, anyone could say that the upper authorities weren’t allowed to make the entire matter public, and could seize to distort the matter using that pretext.
Even if He Ziyan’s real parents were pulled out, it couldn’t guarantee that the other side wouldn’t go along with this and say that what they spread about was false. Most people just wanted to believe in whatever story they wanted to see.
Who could have known that the reason He Ziyan had always been evasive and unclear was because he really had no parents.
Cheng Qiang felt very powerless. In order to clarify the rumors, these boys had to reveal their scars, but if they didn’t clarify the matter, then He Ziyan’s efforts up until now would have been in vain.
This was probably something that had to be endured on the climb up to the top.
Star Chart’s clarification plan was executed very quickly; the relevant documents were listed one by one, which included all the certificates that He Ziyan had given them, the old documents from the orphanage, and the collective account of the work he had done as an adult. There were all kinds of documents, and all of them together proved that He Ziyan did not belong to any family.
Along with this announcement, Star Chart posted a strongly-worded message, using very serious words for the first time in order to express their anger. The fans and many other deceived netizens also expressed anger at the rumor after this clarification was released.
[@melody: It’s too much, forcing people to take out their identity as an orphan in order to clarify the matter.]
[@I also like Kaleido today: The rumormaker is dead, I’m so distressed over my Fire Ge 55555. He’s so happy every day, and you can’t tell at all]
[@pinkoh: Ah…so it turns out it’s like this…before, when watching their ensemble show, I felt like everyone mentioned their family, and only HZY didn’t. I thought back then that he had a bad relationship with his family, but I never imagined he was an abandoned child. This rumormaker really deserves to die.]
Although they had to wash their dirty linen in public, this matter was finally dealt with. The drama crew, after communicating with Star Chart, also published a Weibo post protecting their actors, calling on “the ill-intentioned people” to compete fairly.
Nobody thought that this malicious rumor would end with such a sob. The furor of the matter lasted for three or four days, and many people clamoured that everyone needed to resist the bad atmosphere created by rumor-mongering in the entertainment circle. This made a big splash, making it seem as if the netizens would really start to resist it.
But Fang Juexia knew better than anyone that once the next rumor appeared, many people would step into it again like before, eat the melons they felt were sweet, and would become the anonymous accomplices carrying those rumors forward.
Perhaps it had gone on for too long, or maybe because He Ziyan was really not good at showing weakness, but even if the members were drinking and chatting together, he would still laugh like he was used to and joke about his previous terrible matters.
“If these things happened to others, they might have already talked about it tearfully in a reality TV show several times,” Pei Tingsong said sharply.
He Ziyan shook his head. “That’s not okay, my complaints can’t destroy my image as a silly head gong.”
Lu Yuan laughed. “Hahahahaha, is that even a good reputation?”
Pei Tingsong was unconvinced. “I approve the part in the front, but you are not the head gong.”
Fang Juexia glanced at him and asked calmly, “Is the head gong position decided on our childishness level?”
Ling Yi laughed until his stomach hurt. “Hahahahaha, what’s going on with your guys’ gong group?”
“Don’t talk about it, what gong or shou ah?” Jiang Miao stopped them. “Fortunately, there is no camera filming right now, otherwise everyone would know that you guys are secretly reading gay stories.”
Under the arrangement of the company and the program team, He Ziyan went to Ling Yi’s music program as a guest to help the singers. As soon as people got busy, things turned around quickly.
However, Fang Juexia still felt a little uneasy. In the past, he had thought that rumors would only be about himself, but he didn’t expect that they would also involve family members. Work went on, as did the right and wrong in the entertainment industry. Today, it was about his bandmate, and the next day it was about his family. He didn’t know if it was because he had been in the circle for too long, but Fang Juexia kept thinking of himself while looking at other’s experiences.
It was like being forced to swallow bowls of white rice mixed with fish bones; they already didn’t want to consume it, and then, they also had to protect against the spines inside the bowl, wondering if one day, it would scratch their throats.
But there was no other way; when they weren’t popular, everything was calm and still, but now that they had gotten popular, none of these things could be stopped.
Kaleido had risen faster than any of them could imagine, having spent two years dormant before exploding in popularity this year. The two gold lettered signs of ‘strength’ and ‘originality’ tagged on them made them unique among boybands. They had even jumped over the transformation process most idol groups had to go through by leaving their own position and name in the music world.
The biggest fear among boybands was uneven popularity among members. Now, in addition to their two top members, the other members were also blooming in other fields. All of the members boasted of a very stable popularity, and long-term development was not a problem for any of them.
There were too many dramas looking for Fang Juexia, all offering the lead male lead role to him, but he didn’t care about acting, and he didn’t really like doing variety shows either. It was even more difficult to arrange these things for Pei Tingsong. However, even though their exposure rate was not greater than that of their bandmates, their popularity grew higher day by day, especially when it came to their CP fans. It was completely unprecedented, with the power of any one of their CP fan stations being enough to topple any of that of the only-fan stations of Kaleido.
Star Chart didn’t force them to work, but they were constantly invited to do advertisements, and the fashion circle also favored them. One magazine cover after the other invited them, and later, even a blue-blooded luxury brand extended an olive branch to them, arranging for them to come see one of their shows. Fang Juexia listened to the company’s arrangement and agreed. Gradually, their modeling clothes changed from before, and the clothes for shooting the single person covers were also specially sponsored by the brand.
The rumors online changed even faster. Since they had changed to adapt a high luxury brand style, many gossip forums had already begun to discuss it. Many posts and threads had been created on these forums, saying that Fang Juexia had found a new financier with a strong background and great strength, which allowed him to face absolutely no problems on his climb to the top. The rumors were suspended once before being reposted, which made Xiao Wen so angry that he kept losing his temper in the car every day.
“Where is this financier? If you had a financier, would you still have to work so hard?”
When Fang Juexia heard him say this, he just felt that these rumors were of a rather ordinary fare. He had become very popular too quickly in a short amount of time. Even before, when he was not popular, there had been all sorts of rumors, and even now, there were constant disturbances, so it was useless for him to worry about them. “Are there few of these kinds of rumors? This kind of news can’t cause any big disturbances, don’t worry about it.”
Unexpectedly, Pei Tingsong, who was sitting next to him, joined in on the excitement.
[A Constant Truth: I’m the original financier; I’m rich, have a good background, am protecting you, and I’m even handsome.]
Reading this message made Fang Juexia feel that it was both infuriating and funny.
[Moonlight: Shameless.]
Seeing this word, Pei Tingsong began to laugh.
[A Constant Truth: Gege, just this much is shameless? You’ve been with me for so long, and your temper is getting bigger and bigger, but your face hasn’t become thicker at all.]
[A Constant Truth: I have many shameless things to do with you.]
Fang Juexia blushed as he read these words, so he turned his face and looked straight ahead without looking at him. But just as he did this, the cellphone in his hand vibrated again. Xiao Wen, who was in the passenger seat, thought it was strange. “Whose cellphone is it that keeps vibrating?”
He had to look down and read the incoming message.
[A Constant Truth: You’re not allowed to hide, I’m really going to bully you in earnest.]
This guy was really…. Fang Juexia puffed himself up, turned his face to look at him, and glared at him.
As soon as their eyes met, Pei Tingsong smiled at him. His smile was so childish, with his eyes curving into crescents, and he even mouthed at him silently, “You are so cute.”
He really couldn’t do anything to him, it was hard to even pretend to be angry with him. Only after Fang Juexia took a deep breath, turned his head, and looked out of the window, did he manage to hide the smile on his face.
The sweet-scented osmanthus blossoms on the side of the road fell to the ground in milky yellow dots, all fragments of autumn. As the wind swirled, their fragrance wafted through the window.
So sweet.
Cheng Qiang found them for a meeting; the others hadn’t arrived yet, only Fang Juexia and Pei Tingsong had come in early, so he first explained the recent brand endorsement to them. “The brand merchants really like your popularity and reputation at present, but in order to be safe, they are planning to give you guys only the title of style ambassador first, and then they’ll wait until the new year to promote you guys to spokespersons officially. By then, the cover-shoot for your guys’ magazine should also be quite complete.”
Fang Juexia only nodded, not speaking.
Pei Tingsong leaned back on the chair and said lazily, “Isn’t it just about picking a new face? But they’re dragging it on this much.”
“You got something good, and you’re still showing off your cleverness, not even thinking about how long you’ve been popular for?” Cheng Qiang told the assistants to put the papers away properly, and then warned, “Be very careful right now, especially you, Xiao Pei, don’t quarrel online, be a bit more steady, and don’t make trouble. In the blink of an eye, it’ll be the end of the year, then the release of your winter album, and all sorts of major parties and awards ceremonies will be held. By then, we’ll be so busy, we’ll never be done. Now, keep a low profile for me, understand?”
Fang Juexia nodded obediently and even pressed Pei Tingsong’s head down to make him nod along with him as well.
It was just at this time that Ling Yi pushed open the door and came in. “Your baby Ling Yi has arrived!”
Pei Tingsong pretended to be deaf and dumb. “Who? Who’s a 1?”
“You little brat Xiao Pei.” Ling Yi pinched his neck from behind and shook it desperately. “Have you been infected by your CP fans to become deaf like this?”
Fang Juexia didn’t get the joke and asked, “What does that mean?”
He Ziyan came in with Ling Yi. “Just now, we used our side accounts to scroll through Weibo, and saw that your guys’ only-fans and CP fans had started to quarrel. Good god, they were flaming to the point that that’s what you call it— a murky sky over a dark earth with neither the sun nor moon giving off any light.”
Pei Tingsong kicked him with his foot. “Are you narrating a book?”
“You’ve discovered my hidden skill.” He Ziyan sat next to him and continued, “It’s normal for fans to tear into each other every day, but it’s too exciting when your fans quarrel. Isn’t your CP called TingJue? So, it’s all blue skies over the TingJue girls’ heads and because you two interact too much, they’ve become more publicized. Then they were cursed out by the only-fans; it’s fine if they just curse them out ba, but they even gave the CP fans a bad nickname.”
Fang Juexia, who hardly ever surfed online, was a little surprised. “Even fans have bad nicknames?”
“Yes ah! What did they call them, do you know? ” Ling Yi tried to hold back his laughter. “Deaf girls! Hahahahahahaha!”
De-deaf?
He Ziyan repeatedly sighed. “It’s really a pun, just too wonderful. It’s not only related to TingJue, but also criticizes and curses out the CP fans as being deaf and dumb, not waking up no matter how they’re yelled at, taking the fake to be real.”
Saying that, Fang Juexia unavoidably felt a bit guilty; after all, they really were real, and were just pretending to be fake while switching in something real.
Pei Tingsong clicked his tongue. “People can call them whatever they want, but they even came up with a bad nickname.”
“You think it’s only-fans giving CP fans names ah, isn’t it all the same flipped around.” Ling Yi was like someone who was enumerating a family’s valuables when regarding his bandmates’ fan circles. “Look, don’t you have the nickname Putuo Temple Site from before? Your only-fans always call themselves believers, and they’re saying that the believers are willing to be vegetarian all their lives in exchange for the deaf girls being able to hear and see clearly.”
Fang Juexia accidentally laughed, then opened up a bottle of water in order to suppress it.
Ling Yi added, “Yet, as a result, the TingJue girls hit back, saying that they were afraid that the believers at Putuo Temple Site weren’t all nuns.”
He Ziyan started laughing hard. “Hey, hey, I saw another one. Because Juexia’s full name can be abbreviated as Hairline, the CP fans say that Juexia’s poisonous only-fans are girls with receding hairlines, that is, bald girls. Putuo Temple Site nuns paired with bald girls, even your poisonous only-fans match perfectly, no wonder they quarrel every day.
“If they quarrel, that’s nothing much, but Sansan also taught me a phrase: I curse you, and you curse me, and my two Gege sleep together, you’ll see.”
Fang Juexia almost choked on his own saliva.
With the two of them mocking it, even the quarrel became funny.
Cheng Qiang, however, had a headache. “Be careful with your side accounts for me, you better keep your masks on tightly. Some time ago, a little flower’s mask fell off, and even her love affair was accidentally exposed, and there was so much uproar over it.”
“Understood—”
Onceall the people arrived, the meeting shifted into business mode. Cheng Qiang collected and explained all the work they had done since the beginning of the year; there was a whole heap of stuff, and everyone grew sleepy just listening to it. Just when Ling Yi was bored enough to start secretly playing Xiao Xiao Le under the table, Cheng Qiang finally changed the topic.
“Another more important matter is about your tour.”
The six people came to life in a flash.
“A tour???”
“Are we going to have a concert?”
“When? Where is the first performance? Beijing?”
Cheng Qiang moved his hands up and down in the air to suppress them a bit. “Calm down, okay? It’s like you guys have never had a concert before.”
“We’ve never had one ah!”
Fang Juexia couldn’t help laughing. He thought it would be a long time before they could have their own concert, but he didn’t expect that this day would come faster than he had expected.
Cheng Qiang explained, “There are many things to prepare for a concert, such as determining the concept, selecting the venue and doing the paperwork for it, negotiating for sponsors, designing the special effects, re-choreographing, and rehearsing… It’ll probably take more than half a year. Most of your fans are still students, so we have preliminarily determined that it will be during summer vacation next year.”
“So long ah.” Ling Yi pulled a pillow into his arms and complained, “There’s more than half a year left.”
Jiang Miao said with a smile, “It’s very good. This way, the winter album will also have been released, and with two regular albums plus three mini albums, plus each member’s solo, we will certainly have enough repertoire for the concert.”
“That’s right.” Cheng Qiang sat down and said, “You can also invite your senior brothers to be your guest.”
Normally, Pei Tingsong didn’t pay much attention in meetings, but he raised his hand this time. “Question, will one of the concert venues be Guangzhou?”
Fang Juexia was stunned and looked at him immediately.
Lu Yuan first took over. “There must be some held there ba, the first tier cities of Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou must all be there ah.”
“I also want to go to Guangzhou,” said Ling Yi, happily rocking back and forth, looking like an electric sunflower toy bought from a roadside stand. “The food in Guangzhou is delicious.”
Cheng Qiang nodded. “As long as nothing unexpected happens, there should be some held there. The company’s current idea is to hold ten concerts in China first, and then concerts abroad will be determined later.”
He Ziyan couldn’t help but complain, “Small obscure K can actually do an overseas concert?”
“Hahahaha!”
By the time the meeting ended, it was evening. Cheng Qiang urged them to go back, while he had to deal with some mail in the company. The weather had gotten colder, but the weather in Beijing was always unpredictable. The weather during daytime was still the cool and crisp autumn weather, but as soon as it got dark, the wind started whistling. Fang Juexia only wore a sweater over his shirt, and looking from behind, his gaunt shoulders stood out with their thinness, and his pale ankles were also thin.
After two steps, Pei Tingsong grabbed him and said, “Accompany me to the workshop to get something.”
Fang Juexia found this gesture inexplicable. “Now?”
“En.”
He said he wanted to get something, so Fang Juexia would certainly go with him. After opening the door, Fang Juexia stood outside and waited. Pei Tingsong didn’t turn on the light; he simply took down a dark brown windbreaker coat from the back of the swivel chair, then pulled Fang Juexia in, closed the door, put the windbreaker on his shoulders, took his arm, and helped him put his arms into the sleeves before buttoning it up. He tied up the belt of the jacket, all the while thinking that Fang Juexia’s waist was very thin.
Looking down at Gege’s waist for a while, Pei Tingsong loosened it up again. “Don’t fasten it.”
Fang Juexia’s face was smiling. With no lights on, the room was shrouded in darkness, and only the moonlight outside the window was shining on his face. It was like a layer of frost covering a gentle ice beauty.
Pei Tingsong couldn’t help but lower his head and pull his belt until he was pulled into his embrace. Fang Juexia, who couldn’t see clearly, could only sense the gentle smell of sea salt as it wrapped around him. Hot and humid kisses fell down like rain, his teeth were pried open, and his tongue was hooked out. As they entangled together, his hands moved unconsciously up, as they always did in this situation, and he grasped the fabric of Pei Tingsong’s coat.
With just a kiss, he felt the taste of love all the way from the inside to outside.
“It’s cold outside,” Pei Tingsong said with his forehead lowered.
Fang Juexia let out a soft “en”, and then heard him volunteering, “I’ll help you warm up.”
And he did so by grinding up against Fang Juexia in the dark, while his heavy breathing pressed him into retreating. As soon as he retreated a bit, Pei Tingsong attacked, and just like that, he stumbled step by step until he had no space to retreat to, for his back was now against the door. As Pei Tingsong went from his lips to the side of his neck, to his collarbone under his shirt, Fang Juexia panted a few times, his face hot, and only then did he stop.
After finishing kissing him, Pei Tingsong was still a little unhappy. He straightened Fang Juexia’s collar. “You see how little you wear, your lips and face are cold.”
“Only the sick would feel hot,” Fang Juexia quibbled.
Pei Tingsong pinched the tip of his chin. “Then are you not embarrassed right now, are you sick?”
Indeed, it was worse than being sick.
Fang Juexia was hot all over, but he couldn’t get anything good out of quarelling with him, so he could only switch the topic, “What did you want to get?”
Pei Tingsong pulled him out. “It’s on you, little one.”
On hearing this address, Fang Juexia felt as if his heart had been scratched by a cat’s paw. He said solemnly, “If you can’t calculate our ages, I’ll tell you. I’m three years older than you, I’m your Ge.”
“To be precise, it’s two and a half years.”
The two of them snarked at each other as they walked down the corridor and actually bumped into Cheng Qiang, who came out of the office in a hurry. He was just removing his cellphone from his ear, it was clear that he must have just ended a phone call.
Pei Tingsong felt it was strange and called out, “Qiang Ge.” Only then did Cheng Qiang turn back. “Why are you guys still here? Perfect, Juexia, there’s something I have to discuss with you?”
What was the matter now?
Fang Juexia had a bad feeling and didn’t speak. He simply looked up at him.
When Cheng Qiang walked over, he hesitated when he saw Pei Tingsong. Fang Juexia was calm and said, “It’s okay, Ge. You say it directly ba.”
“It’s your father’s matter.” Cheng Qiang originally only knew that Fang Juexia was from a single parent family, but he didn’t know about the specific situation of his father, so he talked about it as if carrying the idea that this could all just be a rumor. “I don’t know if it’s true, but an anonymous e-mail was sent to us, saying that they have evidence of your father taking drugs. Now they are asking us for fees to not report it publically, and if we don’t give it to them, they will find another company to reveal the matter to.”
Pei Tingsong’s face suddenly grew cold. “How much is it?”
“Seven digits.” Cheng Qiang frowned and looked at the real person who was involved. “The company can also pay this…”
A smile appeared on Fang Juexia’s mouth. His voice was very light, containing no emotions, but he interrupted Cheng Qiang for the very first time—
“Dream on.”
Translated by juurensha
Edited by Noks
A weight that must be borne
“Fire Ge.” Ling Yi ran over and hugged He Ziyan’s neck from behind. “Don’t say it like that, I’m so sad.”
“Hey, hey, you’re gripping me too tight.” He Ziyan laughed, and when he turned his head to see Ling Yi crying again, he found it both funny and pitiful. “You really are a cry-baby, crying whenever you meet anything. Just don’t get any snot on me.”
“I’m just very sad.” Ling Yi’s mouth was pursed, and his tears were still dripping down, one big drop after another. Lu Yuan was the same, gulping down cup after cup of alcohol after hearing this, both angry and sad. “They must think you will explode in popularity after this drama, and want to prevent that from happening. Last time, it was gossip about an affair, this time, it’s about family, they’re too disgusting.”
Fang Juexia understood them being in such a mood. Lu Yuan and Ling Yi came from happy families, and even more, Ling Yi was a child who had been spoiled as he was growing up. When he thought of He Ziyan’s life, he would definitely compare it with his own, and would be very sympathetic.
On the contrary, Jiang Miao, Pei Tingsong, and him, the three of them seemed very silent; they wanted to comfort He Ziyan, but couldn’t think of any words to comfort him with. Fang Juexia couldn’t help but glance at Pei Tingsong, only to see him looking down, his eyelashes casting long shadows under the booth’s light, making him imagine the clouds that floated in the sky during midsummer, and how the shadows of those clouds would also appear on the ground.
Jiang Miao had been very silent from the beginning; he was always calm, but he was also the most comforting person in their group. Fang Juexia looked at his thin shoulders; he had worked too hard after his drama had started filming, and he seemed to have shrunk a bit.
It was also strange to think that there were several children from unhappy families in their group. It seemed like a coincidence, but it was just that real.
Fang Juexia couldn’t help recalling how, when he was a child, his teacher always said that the adjective in front of the word ‘family’ should be “happy” and “blessed”, and so he would look forward to such a ‘happy’ family, mistakenly thinking that everyone’s family was a happy family.
Now, it seemed that everyone was aware of only the changes they personally went through in life, while there were how many broken families that really existed around everyone.
They couldn’t continue eating their celebratory meal anymore, so Cheng Qiang arranged for people to send the members back to their dormitories, while asking Jiang Miao to comfort He Ziyan a bit before he rushed back to the company to work overtime.
On the way from the parking lot to the dormitory elevator, the people in front talked noisily, while Fang Juexia and Jiang Miao walked behind.
“Miao Ge,” Fang Juexia took the initiative to ask, “have you known about this for a long time?” In fact, his tone made it clear that he wasn’t asking a question, and that he was just verifying his own answer.
Jiang Miao also smiled. “Yes.”
His eyes moved to He Ziyan who was walking in front of him. “When I first entered the company, the company arranged for us to live together. He asked me why I cared for my younger sister so much, and I confessed that my parents had died together in the plane crash, leaving just the two of us to grow up together with relatives, which is why I can’t help but take care of her.” He took a breath. “Later, he told me about his matters. With everyone comparing their miseries together, and then both looking after each other, life didn’t seem so miserable anymore.”
Fang Juexia had guessed something similar.
After listening to Jiang Miao’s words, the idea that he should confess to them also popped up in Fang Juexia’s mind, that he should tell them about everything that he had gone through, from his nightmarish father to the darkness that he had dealt with for so many years.
But looking at the heaviness on Jiang Miao’s face, he felt that now was not a good time. He didn’t want his experience to cloud over other people’s worries.
They were similar, both covered with a mature shell. If they took it off, what one may find hidden inside may still be a child who couldn’t grow up or run away. No matter how much time passed, that child would always be hiding inside.
No one could erase the existence of this child, and the best way to deal with him was to maintain a peaceful coexistence with him.
From not too far away, Ling Yi waved at them, who were behind him, and yelled, “Hurry up ya, the elevator is closing.”
“The definition of family is sometimes very narrow.” Fang Juexia suddenly opened his mouth again, and sounded as if he were making some kind of mathematical conjecture or judgment.
Jiang Miao, who had already walked forward quickly, turned back upon hearing Fang Juexia and looked at him with complicated eyes. He looked at his thin shoulders and the rare fire in his always cold eyes right now.
“We are family, too.” He said seriously.
.
Cheng Qiang went back to the company and dealt with this matter while restraining his anger. The mess last time, the one about the dating gossip, could be said to simply be a common routine in the circle, but the rumors this time were just low-down and the worst.
Originally, with this type of gossip creating an uproar, Star Chart and the public relations team would have found it difficult to reduce the impact of such rumors, because no matter how they tried to explain and clarify it, no one could really speak about sensitive matters, moreso with it termed as corruption. Some people would say it was an issue with the public security system, while others would say it involved the financial affairs of an enterprise; in a word, the moment the rumor first came out, then no matter what, anyone could say that the upper authorities weren’t allowed to make the entire matter public, and could seize to distort the matter using that pretext.
Even if He Ziyan’s real parents were pulled out, it couldn’t guarantee that the other side wouldn’t go along with this and say that what they spread about was false. Most people just wanted to believe in whatever story they wanted to see.
Who could have known that the reason He Ziyan had always been evasive and unclear was because he really had no parents.
Cheng Qiang felt very powerless. In order to clarify the rumors, these boys had to reveal their scars, but if they didn’t clarify the matter, then He Ziyan’s efforts up until now would have been in vain.
This was probably something that had to be endured on the climb up to the top.
Star Chart’s clarification plan was executed very quickly; the relevant documents were listed one by one, which included all the certificates that He Ziyan had given them, the old documents from the orphanage, and the collective account of the work he had done as an adult. There were all kinds of documents, and all of them together proved that He Ziyan did not belong to any family.
Along with this announcement, Star Chart posted a strongly-worded message, using very serious words for the first time in order to express their anger. The fans and many other deceived netizens also expressed anger at the rumor after this clarification was released.
[@melody: It’s too much, forcing people to take out their identity as an orphan in order to clarify the matter.]
[@I also like Kaleido today: The rumormaker is dead, I’m so distressed over my Fire Ge 55555. He’s so happy every day, and you can’t tell at all]
[@pinkoh: Ah…so it turns out it’s like this…before, when watching their ensemble show, I felt like everyone mentioned their family, and only HZY didn’t. I thought back then that he had a bad relationship with his family, but I never imagined he was an abandoned child. This rumormaker really deserves to die.]
Although they had to wash their dirty linen in public, this matter was finally dealt with. The drama crew, after communicating with Star Chart, also published a Weibo post protecting their actors, calling on “the ill-intentioned people” to compete fairly.
Nobody thought that this malicious rumor would end with such a sob. The furor of the matter lasted for three or four days, and many people clamoured that everyone needed to resist the bad atmosphere created by rumor-mongering in the entertainment circle. This made a big splash, making it seem as if the netizens would really start to resist it.
But Fang Juexia knew better than anyone that once the next rumor appeared, many people would step into it again like before, eat the melons they felt were sweet, and would become the anonymous accomplices carrying those rumors forward.
Perhaps it had gone on for too long, or maybe because He Ziyan was really not good at showing weakness, but even if the members were drinking and chatting together, he would still laugh like he was used to and joke about his previous terrible matters.
“If these things happened to others, they might have already talked about it tearfully in a reality TV show several times,” Pei Tingsong said sharply.
He Ziyan shook his head. “That’s not okay, my complaints can’t destroy my image as a silly head gong.”
Lu Yuan laughed. “Hahahahaha, is that even a good reputation?”
Pei Tingsong was unconvinced. “I approve the part in the front, but you are not the head gong.”
Fang Juexia glanced at him and asked calmly, “Is the head gong position decided on our childishness level?”
Ling Yi laughed until his stomach hurt. “Hahahahaha, what’s going on with your guys’ gong group?”
“Don’t talk about it, what gong or shou ah?” Jiang Miao stopped them. “Fortunately, there is no camera filming right now, otherwise everyone would know that you guys are secretly reading gay stories.”
Under the arrangement of the company and the program team, He Ziyan went to Ling Yi’s music program as a guest to help the singers. As soon as people got busy, things turned around quickly.
However, Fang Juexia still felt a little uneasy. In the past, he had thought that rumors would only be about himself, but he didn’t expect that they would also involve family members. Work went on, as did the right and wrong in the entertainment industry. Today, it was about his bandmate, and the next day it was about his family. He didn’t know if it was because he had been in the circle for too long, but Fang Juexia kept thinking of himself while looking at other’s experiences.
It was like being forced to swallow bowls of white rice mixed with fish bones; they already didn’t want to consume it, and then, they also had to protect against the spines inside the bowl, wondering if one day, it would scratch their throats.
But there was no other way; when they weren’t popular, everything was calm and still, but now that they had gotten popular, none of these things could be stopped.
Kaleido had risen faster than any of them could imagine, having spent two years dormant before exploding in popularity this year. The two gold lettered signs of ‘strength’ and ‘originality’ tagged on them made them unique among boybands. They had even jumped over the transformation process most idol groups had to go through by leaving their own position and name in the music world.
The biggest fear among boybands was uneven popularity among members. Now, in addition to their two top members, the other members were also blooming in other fields. All of the members boasted of a very stable popularity, and long-term development was not a problem for any of them.
There were too many dramas looking for Fang Juexia, all offering the lead male lead role to him, but he didn’t care about acting, and he didn’t really like doing variety shows either. It was even more difficult to arrange these things for Pei Tingsong. However, even though their exposure rate was not greater than that of their bandmates, their popularity grew higher day by day, especially when it came to their CP fans. It was completely unprecedented, with the power of any one of their CP fan stations being enough to topple any of that of the only-fan stations of Kaleido.
Star Chart didn’t force them to work, but they were constantly invited to do advertisements, and the fashion circle also favored them. One magazine cover after the other invited them, and later, even a blue-blooded luxury brand extended an olive branch to them, arranging for them to come see one of their shows. Fang Juexia listened to the company’s arrangement and agreed. Gradually, their modeling clothes changed from before, and the clothes for shooting the single person covers were also specially sponsored by the brand.
The rumors online changed even faster. Since they had changed to adapt a high luxury brand style, many gossip forums had already begun to discuss it. Many posts and threads had been created on these forums, saying that Fang Juexia had found a new financier with a strong background and great strength, which allowed him to face absolutely no problems on his climb to the top. The rumors were suspended once before being reposted, which made Xiao Wen so angry that he kept losing his temper in the car every day.
“Where is this financier? If you had a financier, would you still have to work so hard?”
When Fang Juexia heard him say this, he just felt that these rumors were of a rather ordinary fare. He had become very popular too quickly in a short amount of time. Even before, when he was not popular, there had been all sorts of rumors, and even now, there were constant disturbances, so it was useless for him to worry about them. “Are there few of these kinds of rumors? This kind of news can’t cause any big disturbances, don’t worry about it.”
Unexpectedly, Pei Tingsong, who was sitting next to him, joined in on the excitement.
[A Constant Truth: I’m the original financier; I’m rich, have a good background, am protecting you, and I’m even handsome.]
Reading this message made Fang Juexia feel that it was both infuriating and funny.
[Moonlight: Shameless.]
Seeing this word, Pei Tingsong began to laugh.
[A Constant Truth: Gege, just this much is shameless? You’ve been with me for so long, and your temper is getting bigger and bigger, but your face hasn’t become thicker at all.]
[A Constant Truth: I have many shameless things to do with you.]
Fang Juexia blushed as he read these words, so he turned his face and looked straight ahead without looking at him. But just as he did this, the cellphone in his hand vibrated again. Xiao Wen, who was in the passenger seat, thought it was strange. “Whose cellphone is it that keeps vibrating?”
He had to look down and read the incoming message.
[A Constant Truth: You’re not allowed to hide, I’m really going to bully you in earnest.]
This guy was really…. Fang Juexia puffed himself up, turned his face to look at him, and glared at him.
As soon as their eyes met, Pei Tingsong smiled at him. His smile was so childish, with his eyes curving into crescents, and he even mouthed at him silently, “You are so cute.”
He really couldn’t do anything to him, it was hard to even pretend to be angry with him. Only after Fang Juexia took a deep breath, turned his head, and looked out of the window, did he manage to hide the smile on his face.
The sweet-scented osmanthus blossoms on the side of the road fell to the ground in milky yellow dots, all fragments of autumn. As the wind swirled, their fragrance wafted through the window.
So sweet.
Cheng Qiang found them for a meeting; the others hadn’t arrived yet, only Fang Juexia and Pei Tingsong had come in early, so he first explained the recent brand endorsement to them. “The brand merchants really like your popularity and reputation at present, but in order to be safe, they are planning to give you guys only the title of style ambassador first, and then they’ll wait until the new year to promote you guys to spokespersons officially. By then, the cover-shoot for your guys’ magazine should also be quite complete.”
Fang Juexia only nodded, not speaking.
Pei Tingsong leaned back on the chair and said lazily, “Isn’t it just about picking a new face? But they’re dragging it on this much.”
“You got something good, and you’re still showing off your cleverness, not even thinking about how long you’ve been popular for?” Cheng Qiang told the assistants to put the papers away properly, and then warned, “Be very careful right now, especially you, Xiao Pei, don’t quarrel online, be a bit more steady, and don’t make trouble. In the blink of an eye, it’ll be the end of the year, then the release of your winter album, and all sorts of major parties and awards ceremonies will be held. By then, we’ll be so busy, we’ll never be done. Now, keep a low profile for me, understand?”
Fang Juexia nodded obediently and even pressed Pei Tingsong’s head down to make him nod along with him as well.
It was just at this time that Ling Yi pushed open the door and came in. “Your baby Ling Yi has arrived!”
Pei Tingsong pretended to be deaf and dumb. “Who? Who’s a 1?”
“You little brat Xiao Pei.” Ling Yi pinched his neck from behind and shook it desperately. “Have you been infected by your CP fans to become deaf like this?”
Fang Juexia didn’t get the joke and asked, “What does that mean?”
He Ziyan came in with Ling Yi. “Just now, we used our side accounts to scroll through Weibo, and saw that your guys’ only-fans and CP fans had started to quarrel. Good god, they were flaming to the point that that’s what you call it— a murky sky over a dark earth with neither the sun nor moon giving off any light.”
Pei Tingsong kicked him with his foot. “Are you narrating a book?”
“You’ve discovered my hidden skill.” He Ziyan sat next to him and continued, “It’s normal for fans to tear into each other every day, but it’s too exciting when your fans quarrel. Isn’t your CP called TingJue? So, it’s all blue skies over the TingJue girls’ heads and because you two interact too much, they’ve become more publicized. Then they were cursed out by the only-fans; it’s fine if they just curse them out ba, but they even gave the CP fans a bad nickname.”
Fang Juexia, who hardly ever surfed online, was a little surprised. “Even fans have bad nicknames?”
“Yes ah! What did they call them, do you know? ” Ling Yi tried to hold back his laughter. “Deaf girls! Hahahahahahaha!”
De-deaf?
He Ziyan repeatedly sighed. “It’s really a pun, just too wonderful. It’s not only related to TingJue, but also criticizes and curses out the CP fans as being deaf and dumb, not waking up no matter how they’re yelled at, taking the fake to be real.”
Saying that, Fang Juexia unavoidably felt a bit guilty; after all, they really were real, and were just pretending to be fake while switching in something real.
Pei Tingsong clicked his tongue. “People can call them whatever they want, but they even came up with a bad nickname.”
“You think it’s only-fans giving CP fans names ah, isn’t it all the same flipped around.” Ling Yi was like someone who was enumerating a family’s valuables when regarding his bandmates’ fan circles. “Look, don’t you have the nickname Putuo Temple Site from before? Your only-fans always call themselves believers, and they’re saying that the believers are willing to be vegetarian all their lives in exchange for the deaf girls being able to hear and see clearly.”
Fang Juexia accidentally laughed, then opened up a bottle of water in order to suppress it.
Ling Yi added, “Yet, as a result, the TingJue girls hit back, saying that they were afraid that the believers at Putuo Temple Site weren’t all nuns.”
He Ziyan started laughing hard. “Hey, hey, I saw another one. Because Juexia’s full name can be abbreviated as Hairline, the CP fans say that Juexia’s poisonous only-fans are girls with receding hairlines, that is, bald girls. Putuo Temple Site nuns paired with bald girls, even your poisonous only-fans match perfectly, no wonder they quarrel every day.
“If they quarrel, that’s nothing much, but Sansan also taught me a phrase: I curse you, and you curse me, and my two Gege sleep together, you’ll see.”
Fang Juexia almost choked on his own saliva.
With the two of them mocking it, even the quarrel became funny.
Cheng Qiang, however, had a headache. “Be careful with your side accounts for me, you better keep your masks on tightly. Some time ago, a little flower’s mask fell off, and even her love affair was accidentally exposed, and there was so much uproar over it.”
“Understood—”
Onceall the people arrived, the meeting shifted into business mode. Cheng Qiang collected and explained all the work they had done since the beginning of the year; there was a whole heap of stuff, and everyone grew sleepy just listening to it. Just when Ling Yi was bored enough to start secretly playing Xiao Xiao Le under the table, Cheng Qiang finally changed the topic.
“Another more important matter is about your tour.”
The six people came to life in a flash.
“A tour???”
“Are we going to have a concert?”
“When? Where is the first performance? Beijing?”
Cheng Qiang moved his hands up and down in the air to suppress them a bit. “Calm down, okay? It’s like you guys have never had a concert before.”
“We’ve never had one ah!”
Fang Juexia couldn’t help laughing. He thought it would be a long time before they could have their own concert, but he didn’t expect that this day would come faster than he had expected.
Cheng Qiang explained, “There are many things to prepare for a concert, such as determining the concept, selecting the venue and doing the paperwork for it, negotiating for sponsors, designing the special effects, re-choreographing, and rehearsing… It’ll probably take more than half a year. Most of your fans are still students, so we have preliminarily determined that it will be during summer vacation next year.”
“So long ah.” Ling Yi pulled a pillow into his arms and complained, “There’s more than half a year left.”
Jiang Miao said with a smile, “It’s very good. This way, the winter album will also have been released, and with two regular albums plus three mini albums, plus each member’s solo, we will certainly have enough repertoire for the concert.”
“That’s right.” Cheng Qiang sat down and said, “You can also invite your senior brothers to be your guest.”
Normally, Pei Tingsong didn’t pay much attention in meetings, but he raised his hand this time. “Question, will one of the concert venues be Guangzhou?”
Fang Juexia was stunned and looked at him immediately.
Lu Yuan first took over. “There must be some held there ba, the first tier cities of Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou must all be there ah.”
“I also want to go to Guangzhou,” said Ling Yi, happily rocking back and forth, looking like an electric sunflower toy bought from a roadside stand. “The food in Guangzhou is delicious.”
Cheng Qiang nodded. “As long as nothing unexpected happens, there should be some held there. The company’s current idea is to hold ten concerts in China first, and then concerts abroad will be determined later.”
He Ziyan couldn’t help but complain, “Small obscure K can actually do an overseas concert?”
“Hahahaha!”
By the time the meeting ended, it was evening. Cheng Qiang urged them to go back, while he had to deal with some mail in the company. The weather had gotten colder, but the weather in Beijing was always unpredictable. The weather during daytime was still the cool and crisp autumn weather, but as soon as it got dark, the wind started whistling. Fang Juexia only wore a sweater over his shirt, and looking from behind, his gaunt shoulders stood out with their thinness, and his pale ankles were also thin.
After two steps, Pei Tingsong grabbed him and said, “Accompany me to the workshop to get something.”
Fang Juexia found this gesture inexplicable. “Now?”
“En.”
He said he wanted to get something, so Fang Juexia would certainly go with him. After opening the door, Fang Juexia stood outside and waited. Pei Tingsong didn’t turn on the light; he simply took down a dark brown windbreaker coat from the back of the swivel chair, then pulled Fang Juexia in, closed the door, put the windbreaker on his shoulders, took his arm, and helped him put his arms into the sleeves before buttoning it up. He tied up the belt of the jacket, all the while thinking that Fang Juexia’s waist was very thin.
Looking down at Gege’s waist for a while, Pei Tingsong loosened it up again. “Don’t fasten it.”
Fang Juexia’s face was smiling. With no lights on, the room was shrouded in darkness, and only the moonlight outside the window was shining on his face. It was like a layer of frost covering a gentle ice beauty.
Pei Tingsong couldn’t help but lower his head and pull his belt until he was pulled into his embrace. Fang Juexia, who couldn’t see clearly, could only sense the gentle smell of sea salt as it wrapped around him. Hot and humid kisses fell down like rain, his teeth were pried open, and his tongue was hooked out. As they entangled together, his hands moved unconsciously up, as they always did in this situation, and he grasped the fabric of Pei Tingsong’s coat.
With just a kiss, he felt the taste of love all the way from the inside to outside.
“It’s cold outside,” Pei Tingsong said with his forehead lowered.
Fang Juexia let out a soft “en”, and then heard him volunteering, “I’ll help you warm up.”
And he did so by grinding up against Fang Juexia in the dark, while his heavy breathing pressed him into retreating. As soon as he retreated a bit, Pei Tingsong attacked, and just like that, he stumbled step by step until he had no space to retreat to, for his back was now against the door. As Pei Tingsong went from his lips to the side of his neck, to his collarbone under his shirt, Fang Juexia panted a few times, his face hot, and only then did he stop.
After finishing kissing him, Pei Tingsong was still a little unhappy. He straightened Fang Juexia’s collar. “You see how little you wear, your lips and face are cold.”
“Only the sick would feel hot,” Fang Juexia quibbled.
Pei Tingsong pinched the tip of his chin. “Then are you not embarrassed right now, are you sick?”
Indeed, it was worse than being sick.
Fang Juexia was hot all over, but he couldn’t get anything good out of quarelling with him, so he could only switch the topic, “What did you want to get?”
Pei Tingsong pulled him out. “It’s on you, little one.”
On hearing this address, Fang Juexia felt as if his heart had been scratched by a cat’s paw. He said solemnly, “If you can’t calculate our ages, I’ll tell you. I’m three years older than you, I’m your Ge.”
“To be precise, it’s two and a half years.”
The two of them snarked at each other as they walked down the corridor and actually bumped into Cheng Qiang, who came out of the office in a hurry. He was just removing his cellphone from his ear, it was clear that he must have just ended a phone call.
Pei Tingsong felt it was strange and called out, “Qiang Ge.” Only then did Cheng Qiang turn back. “Why are you guys still here? Perfect, Juexia, there’s something I have to discuss with you?”
What was the matter now?
Fang Juexia had a bad feeling and didn’t speak. He simply looked up at him.
When Cheng Qiang walked over, he hesitated when he saw Pei Tingsong. Fang Juexia was calm and said, “It’s okay, Ge. You say it directly ba.”
“It’s your father’s matter.” Cheng Qiang originally only knew that Fang Juexia was from a single parent family, but he didn’t know about the specific situation of his father, so he talked about it as if carrying the idea that this could all just be a rumor. “I don’t know if it’s true, but an anonymous e-mail was sent to us, saying that they have evidence of your father taking drugs. Now they are asking us for fees to not report it publically, and if we don’t give it to them, they will find another company to reveal the matter to.”
Pei Tingsong’s face suddenly grew cold. “How much is it?”
“Seven digits.” Cheng Qiang frowned and looked at the real person who was involved. “The company can also pay this…”
A smile appeared on Fang Juexia’s mouth. His voice was very light, containing no emotions, but he interrupted Cheng Qiang for the very first time—
“Dream on.”
