Confession
Translated by Springlila
Edited by Springlila
Ding Xuerun is certainly intelligent, but this is the first time something like this has happened to him. When he was very young, he discovered that his sexual orientation was different from that of other boys. He matured too quickly and had read Freud’s theory at the time. He quickly accepted it and never felt like an outsider as a result of it.
Ding Xuerun never liked anyone, despite the fact that he was aware that his sexuality was different from that of others. His life was consumed by studies. He had too many things to learn and didn’t have time to think about others.
Lou Cheng was the first one he met.
He was placed between his arms and chest by Lou Cheng. Lou Cheng’s strength and aura brought by his physique enveloped him. The hot breath sprayed on his cheeks, making it difficult for him to breathe and move. He could only hold his breath and feel the dizziness caused by this intimate contact quietly.
As a man with cleanliness, of course, it’s impossible for Lou Cheng to stick his tongue out, but he clearly feels that he likes Ding Xuerun very much in his heart. When kissing him, he will be moved and filled with tenderness and joy. It makes him feel more comfortable than the freedom he gets from riding his motorcycle.
He gently pressed Ding Xuerun’s lips. After a half-minute, he pressed Ding Xuerun at the foot of the sofa, almost half-lying on him, and his lips fell a dense kiss all over his face.
When it was said to be a kiss, it was actually just rubbing his lips on his cheek, jaw, and eyelids. Lou Cheng didn’t know how to express his feelings, so he just hugged Ding Xuerun with joy and keep kissing him while whispering “Runrun.”
Ding Xuerun could hardly sit still. In his shackles, his normally clear mind was dizzy, and his consciousness was hazy. It’s not particularly intense, but it’s very moving.
Lou Cheng hugged him for a long time. He kissed Ding Xuerun on an impulse, but Ding Xuerun did not refuse. Lou Cheng regained his composure, regretting his hasty actions. He was still unsure of what he was feeling.
He exhaled deeply, resting his head on Ding Xuerun’s shoulder and pondering the significance of the kiss. Could he kiss Ding Xuerun if he didn’t like him? So…Is he bent?
Ding Xuerun leaned against him, his face flushed with Lou Cheng, and his hair was messed up. He placed his hand on Lou Cheng’s back and waited for him to think clearly.
Lou Cheng let go of him after a long time. He lowered his head and stared at Ding Xuerun, stretched out his hand, and gently brushed his hair on his forehead. His voice became hoarse: “Runrun, you let me kiss you, do you like me too?”
Ding Xuerun looked at him and answered with another question: “Do you like me?”
“Otherwise!” Lou Cheng replied subconsciously. “Well… am I gay now?” he paused, looking a little hesitant. It didn’t make sense to him. Why did he discover this at the age of nearly nineteen? Obviously, he had a few girlfriends before, but none of them made him feel the way he does now with Ding Xuerun.
Ding Xuerun has read numerous books, but could not come up with the correct answer at the moment. “If you don’t haven’t think about it clearly, do you want to think about it for a few more days?” he asked, raising his hand and touching Lou Cheng’s head.
“I…” Lou Cheng was a little confused. “Runrun…”
Ding Xuerun smiled: “Okay, don’t press me, I can’t move my legs,” He said as he pushed Lou Cheng away. When he stood up, he was a little unsteady, so Lou Cheng holding on to his waist: “Be careful.”
He put a hand on Lou Cheng’s shoulder and shook his leg hard: “Lou Cheng, next time we can’t sit and study in the living room. You should get a more comfortable chair. It might be better to sit in the study room.”
It was ten o’clock at night, and Ding Xuerun suggested going back to the dormitory to sleep.
There was a drizzle outside, and Lou Cheng wouldn’t let him go, grabbing his wrist and saying, “Don’t go, isn’t it better to stay in my house?”
“My phone is dead, the charger is in the dorm, and I need to change my clothes.”
“Then you can wear my clothes, don’t leave!” Lou Cheng said immediately. Even if he is still a little confused, he believes that he must not allow Ding Xuerun to leave.
Ding Xuerun shook his head and gave him a hug: “Lou Cheng, think carefully about it.”
He opened the umbrella and walked into the rain. Lou Cheng chased him down a few steps in his pajamas and barefoot. Ding Xuerun turned his head and told him: “Go back, I’m leaving. Go to bed early.”
Lou Cheng didn’t chase him any longer and watched Ding Xuerun walk away with his umbrella alone.
He returned home with a disheartened expression, feeling empty and miserable.
Lou Cheng sat in a daze on the sofa with his chin propped up. He never imagined that one day he would like men, and judging by Runrun’s demeanor, he seemed to like him as well.
He regretted it again in his heart. He should have just said yes, why was he so stupid… and let him go.
He was about to call Ding Xuerun when he noticed Ding Xuerun’s phone had fallen to the floor, hidden by the cushion.
The battery is dead.
Ding Xuerun returned to school so late that the school gate was locked. The doorman was about to scold the student when he noticed that it was Ding Xuerun, a sophomore in high school, so he simply reminded him: “Go back to school early next time.”
A flash of lightning flashed across the sky.
Then there was a low growl-like rumbling sound. The door guard’s face was illuminated by thunder, and said: “It’s going to rain heavily, go back to the dormitory and rest.”
Before the others had returned to the dormitory, heavy rain had begun to fall. Because of the thunder, the doorman said, “Wait, the power will be cut off in advance in the dormitory.”
Ding Xuerun placed the umbrella on the balcony and took a shower. Shortly, the dormitory’s power was turned off.
He changed into his pajamas and was about to set the alarm when he realized his phone was missing. He assumed it had fallen at Lou Cheng’s house.
Apart from live broadcasting, contacting Lou Cheng and his home, he hardly used his phone, and he wasn’t in a hurry. He smoked a cigarette while waiting for his hair to dry. He dozed off as his hair dried.
The heavy rain outside the window was pattering and knocking on the closed glass window.
Ding Xuerun had been sleeping well, but he couldn’t sleep easily due to something in his heart and the sound of thunder.
As he began to nod off, he faintly heard the sound of the window rattling, and he immediately opened his eyes in alert.
The sound of rain mingles with the thunder, which is now louder than it was dozens of minutes ago, and it cannot mask the “banging” glass hitting sound.
He sat up from the bed.
The dormitory balcony has a window, and there is a sliding door between the balcony and the dormitory. It is usually not closed for ventilation. Because of the thunder today, Ding Xuerun had to close it down.
He fumbled for his glasses but couldn’t find them, and the sound stopped for a second before hitting it hard again, only to hear a “creak—” and the window slowly opened.
Ding Xuerun got out of bed and saw a man crawling out of the window, tall, wet like a water ghost in the dark dormitory.
The other party also took out his mobile phone and turned on the bright light.
Although Ding Xuerun didn’t see his face clearly, he already knew who it was.
“Damn! The dorm supervisor locked the door, I can only climb up along the water pipe.” Lou Cheng’s short sleeves were soaked, so he caught the hem of his clothes and twisted a handful of water. Water drops dripped down his black hair and onto his eyelashes as he pushed the sliding door between him and Ding Xuerun.
Ding Xuerun was very angry when he heard him: “You climb the pipe! The school water pipe has been around for many years that it’s so old, and it is raining. Have you ever thought that if you are not careful … “
“I’m not going to be careless,” Lou Cheng said. He noticed Ding Xuerun was angry with him. He couldn’t help but take a step closer and flatteringly say, “I’ve practiced rock climbing…” His arms are very strong. This old-fashioned water pipe can’t compete with his skills. However, there was danger and he didn’t give it much thought.
Ding Xuerun frowned: “Is your brain short-circuited?”
“You yelled at me…” Lou Cheng’s voice was aggrieved and then said loudly, “I don’t want to climb either. Scold the dorm supervisor. It’s only 11:30, and he already sleeps like a pig, never waking up!”
“Lou Cheng!” There’s nothing Ding Xuerun can do about him.
“Runrun, don’t be angry,” Lou Cheng gave him the phone quickly, “You forgot your phone.”
“You climbed up the water pipe just to give me my phone?” Ding Xuerun exclaimed, his voice shaking with anger.
“N-no…” Lou Cheng quickly denied it. A handsome face with drops of water, youthful and vigorous, but cautious at the moment. “I…I want to talk to you, I don’t want to wait until tomorrow,” he said quietly to Ding Xuerun.
His wet clothes cling to him, but his entire body is hot, and his heart is about to burst.
Ding Xuerun was very helpless and took his bath towel to wipe the water for him: “Did you get hurt when you climbed up?”
“No, how could I get hurt? Who do you think am I?” Lou Cheng wrapped himself in Ding Xuerun’s bath towel, thinking there was something wrong. Because his clothes were still dripping, he removed his coat and threw it on the wet floor.
Ding Xuerun sighed and asked him, “What are you going to say?”
The wind was blowing so hard, Lou Cheng was wearing a bath towel. He found it difficult to deliver the lines he had just prepared. He hesitated for a long time, his face turning red: “Runrun, I-I think it’s clear that I really am that one. I…”
“Hmm?”
Lou Cheng couldn’t say it, but he strode over to Ding Xuerun and said, “I’m cold.”
Ding Xuerun was terrified when he imagined him climbing up the water pipe in the middle of the night. He was about to scold him when he felt Lou Cheng lower his head and rest his chin on his shoulder.
“I can’t sleep, I can’t help it anymore. I want to talk to you so much, I have to say it today. Runrun, I…” His voice became smaller, and his sigh fell on Ding Xuerun’s ear, “I like you.”
Ding Xuerun suddenly felt the thunder sound had stopped, and dripping water from Lou Cheng’s hair had fallen on his pajamas. He only heard his own indescribable heartbeat.
Lou Cheng finally said it and let out a big sigh of relief: “It was suffocating me.”
Wet lips pressed softly against Ding Xuerun’s cheek, and his heart was pounding hard in his chest: “Me too.”
Lou Cheng holding him tightly without letting go: “Runrun, I’m so cold.”
In the summer, the boys’ dormitory is sunny and hot. Even if it rains like this, people will feel cool and comfortable, not cold. Not to mention a body that is both strong and healthy.
Ding Xuerun only felt hot and not cold at all, but he still cared about him because he was afraid he would catch a cold: “There is still hot water available. Before going to bed, take a shower and let your hair dry.”
“My hair is short and it dries quickly.” Lou Cheng with sparkling star eyes, said softly, “I’ll hold you to sleep at night”
Confession
Translated by Springlila
Edited by Springlila
Ding Xuerun is certainly intelligent, but this is the first time something like this has happened to him. When he was very young, he discovered that his sexual orientation was different from that of other boys. He matured too quickly and had read Freud’s theory at the time. He quickly accepted it and never felt like an outsider as a result of it.
Ding Xuerun never liked anyone, despite the fact that he was aware that his sexuality was different from that of others. His life was consumed by studies. He had too many things to learn and didn’t have time to think about others.
Lou Cheng was the first one he met.
He was placed between his arms and chest by Lou Cheng. Lou Cheng’s strength and aura brought by his physique enveloped him. The hot breath sprayed on his cheeks, making it difficult for him to breathe and move. He could only hold his breath and feel the dizziness caused by this intimate contact quietly.
As a man with cleanliness, of course, it’s impossible for Lou Cheng to stick his tongue out, but he clearly feels that he likes Ding Xuerun very much in his heart. When kissing him, he will be moved and filled with tenderness and joy. It makes him feel more comfortable than the freedom he gets from riding his motorcycle.
He gently pressed Ding Xuerun’s lips. After a half-minute, he pressed Ding Xuerun at the foot of the sofa, almost half-lying on him, and his lips fell a dense kiss all over his face.
When it was said to be a kiss, it was actually just rubbing his lips on his cheek, jaw, and eyelids. Lou Cheng didn’t know how to express his feelings, so he just hugged Ding Xuerun with joy and keep kissing him while whispering “Runrun.”
Ding Xuerun could hardly sit still. In his shackles, his normally clear mind was dizzy, and his consciousness was hazy. It’s not particularly intense, but it’s very moving.
Lou Cheng hugged him for a long time. He kissed Ding Xuerun on an impulse, but Ding Xuerun did not refuse. Lou Cheng regained his composure, regretting his hasty actions. He was still unsure of what he was feeling.
He exhaled deeply, resting his head on Ding Xuerun’s shoulder and pondering the significance of the kiss. Could he kiss Ding Xuerun if he didn’t like him? So…Is he bent?
Ding Xuerun leaned against him, his face flushed with Lou Cheng, and his hair was messed up. He placed his hand on Lou Cheng’s back and waited for him to think clearly.
Lou Cheng let go of him after a long time. He lowered his head and stared at Ding Xuerun, stretched out his hand, and gently brushed his hair on his forehead. His voice became hoarse: “Runrun, you let me kiss you, do you like me too?”
Ding Xuerun looked at him and answered with another question: “Do you like me?”
“Otherwise!” Lou Cheng replied subconsciously. “Well… am I gay now?” he paused, looking a little hesitant. It didn’t make sense to him. Why did he discover this at the age of nearly nineteen? Obviously, he had a few girlfriends before, but none of them made him feel the way he does now with Ding Xuerun.
Ding Xuerun has read numerous books, but could not come up with the correct answer at the moment. “If you don’t haven’t think about it clearly, do you want to think about it for a few more days?” he asked, raising his hand and touching Lou Cheng’s head.
“I…” Lou Cheng was a little confused. “Runrun…”
Ding Xuerun smiled: “Okay, don’t press me, I can’t move my legs,” He said as he pushed Lou Cheng away. When he stood up, he was a little unsteady, so Lou Cheng holding on to his waist: “Be careful.”
He put a hand on Lou Cheng’s shoulder and shook his leg hard: “Lou Cheng, next time we can’t sit and study in the living room. You should get a more comfortable chair. It might be better to sit in the study room.”
It was ten o’clock at night, and Ding Xuerun suggested going back to the dormitory to sleep.
There was a drizzle outside, and Lou Cheng wouldn’t let him go, grabbing his wrist and saying, “Don’t go, isn’t it better to stay in my house?”
“My phone is dead, the charger is in the dorm, and I need to change my clothes.”
“Then you can wear my clothes, don’t leave!” Lou Cheng said immediately. Even if he is still a little confused, he believes that he must not allow Ding Xuerun to leave.
Ding Xuerun shook his head and gave him a hug: “Lou Cheng, think carefully about it.”
He opened the umbrella and walked into the rain. Lou Cheng chased him down a few steps in his pajamas and barefoot. Ding Xuerun turned his head and told him: “Go back, I’m leaving. Go to bed early.”
Lou Cheng didn’t chase him any longer and watched Ding Xuerun walk away with his umbrella alone.
He returned home with a disheartened expression, feeling empty and miserable.
Lou Cheng sat in a daze on the sofa with his chin propped up. He never imagined that one day he would like men, and judging by Runrun’s demeanor, he seemed to like him as well.
He regretted it again in his heart. He should have just said yes, why was he so stupid… and let him go.
He was about to call Ding Xuerun when he noticed Ding Xuerun’s phone had fallen to the floor, hidden by the cushion.
The battery is dead.
Ding Xuerun returned to school so late that the school gate was locked. The doorman was about to scold the student when he noticed that it was Ding Xuerun, a sophomore in high school, so he simply reminded him: “Go back to school early next time.”
A flash of lightning flashed across the sky.
Then there was a low growl-like rumbling sound. The door guard’s face was illuminated by thunder, and said: “It’s going to rain heavily, go back to the dormitory and rest.”
Before the others had returned to the dormitory, heavy rain had begun to fall. Because of the thunder, the doorman said, “Wait, the power will be cut off in advance in the dormitory.”
Ding Xuerun placed the umbrella on the balcony and took a shower. Shortly, the dormitory’s power was turned off.
He changed into his pajamas and was about to set the alarm when he realized his phone was missing. He assumed it had fallen at Lou Cheng’s house.
Apart from live broadcasting, contacting Lou Cheng and his home, he hardly used his phone, and he wasn’t in a hurry. He smoked a cigarette while waiting for his hair to dry. He dozed off as his hair dried.
The heavy rain outside the window was pattering and knocking on the closed glass window.
Ding Xuerun had been sleeping well, but he couldn’t sleep easily due to something in his heart and the sound of thunder.
As he began to nod off, he faintly heard the sound of the window rattling, and he immediately opened his eyes in alert.
The sound of rain mingles with the thunder, which is now louder than it was dozens of minutes ago, and it cannot mask the “banging” glass hitting sound.
He sat up from the bed.
The dormitory balcony has a window, and there is a sliding door between the balcony and the dormitory. It is usually not closed for ventilation. Because of the thunder today, Ding Xuerun had to close it down.
He fumbled for his glasses but couldn’t find them, and the sound stopped for a second before hitting it hard again, only to hear a “creak—” and the window slowly opened.
Ding Xuerun got out of bed and saw a man crawling out of the window, tall, wet like a water ghost in the dark dormitory.
The other party also took out his mobile phone and turned on the bright light.
Although Ding Xuerun didn’t see his face clearly, he already knew who it was.
“Damn! The dorm supervisor locked the door, I can only climb up along the water pipe.” Lou Cheng’s short sleeves were soaked, so he caught the hem of his clothes and twisted a handful of water. Water drops dripped down his black hair and onto his eyelashes as he pushed the sliding door between him and Ding Xuerun.
Ding Xuerun was very angry when he heard him: “You climb the pipe! The school water pipe has been around for many years that it’s so old, and it is raining. Have you ever thought that if you are not careful … “
“I’m not going to be careless,” Lou Cheng said. He noticed Ding Xuerun was angry with him. He couldn’t help but take a step closer and flatteringly say, “I’ve practiced rock climbing…” His arms are very strong. This old-fashioned water pipe can’t compete with his skills. However, there was danger and he didn’t give it much thought.
Ding Xuerun frowned: “Is your brain short-circuited?”
“You yelled at me…” Lou Cheng’s voice was aggrieved and then said loudly, “I don’t want to climb either. Scold the dorm supervisor. It’s only 11:30, and he already sleeps like a pig, never waking up!”
“Lou Cheng!” There’s nothing Ding Xuerun can do about him.
“Runrun, don’t be angry,” Lou Cheng gave him the phone quickly, “You forgot your phone.”
“You climbed up the water pipe just to give me my phone?” Ding Xuerun exclaimed, his voice shaking with anger.
“N-no…” Lou Cheng quickly denied it. A handsome face with drops of water, youthful and vigorous, but cautious at the moment. “I…I want to talk to you, I don’t want to wait until tomorrow,” he said quietly to Ding Xuerun.
His wet clothes cling to him, but his entire body is hot, and his heart is about to burst.
Ding Xuerun was very helpless and took his bath towel to wipe the water for him: “Did you get hurt when you climbed up?”
“No, how could I get hurt? Who do you think am I?” Lou Cheng wrapped himself in Ding Xuerun’s bath towel, thinking there was something wrong. Because his clothes were still dripping, he removed his coat and threw it on the wet floor.
Ding Xuerun sighed and asked him, “What are you going to say?”
The wind was blowing so hard, Lou Cheng was wearing a bath towel. He found it difficult to deliver the lines he had just prepared. He hesitated for a long time, his face turning red: “Runrun, I-I think it’s clear that I really am that one. I…”
“Hmm?”
Lou Cheng couldn’t say it, but he strode over to Ding Xuerun and said, “I’m cold.”
Ding Xuerun was terrified when he imagined him climbing up the water pipe in the middle of the night. He was about to scold him when he felt Lou Cheng lower his head and rest his chin on his shoulder.
“I can’t sleep, I can’t help it anymore. I want to talk to you so much, I have to say it today. Runrun, I…” His voice became smaller, and his sigh fell on Ding Xuerun’s ear, “I like you.”
Ding Xuerun suddenly felt the thunder sound had stopped, and dripping water from Lou Cheng’s hair had fallen on his pajamas. He only heard his own indescribable heartbeat.
Lou Cheng finally said it and let out a big sigh of relief: “It was suffocating me.”
Wet lips pressed softly against Ding Xuerun’s cheek, and his heart was pounding hard in his chest: “Me too.”
Lou Cheng holding him tightly without letting go: “Runrun, I’m so cold.”
In the summer, the boys’ dormitory is sunny and hot. Even if it rains like this, people will feel cool and comfortable, not cold. Not to mention a body that is both strong and healthy.
Ding Xuerun only felt hot and not cold at all, but he still cared about him because he was afraid he would catch a cold: “There is still hot water available. Before going to bed, take a shower and let your hair dry.”
“My hair is short and it dries quickly.” Lou Cheng with sparkling star eyes, said softly, “I’ll hold you to sleep at night”
