Chapter 110
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A strong wind blew. The figure of Yulif, who was crying as he hugged ‘her’ corpse, which she did not know of, became smaller. The fragmented time, images, and memories flew around Canaren like petals. All of which contained Yulif with ‘her’.
Sometimes she smiled brightly, sometimes she cried, and sometimes she was angry, but in the scenes, she always seemed happy. It was the same with Yulif. He was always looking at her with his friendly eyes, as if he couldn’t be more affectionate. He was silently saying that things that were ordinary and trivial to others were flashing memories and beautiful fantasies to him.
Canaren captured all the sights one by one. No, she took it to heart. She imprinted them on her soul. She dissolved it in the blood and let it flow through her body.
“I will return to her living time.”
Like shards of glass reflecting light, the precious memories from all around disappeared. What appeared in the endless darkness was Yulif standing in front of the huge door. Yulif’s voice was soft but determined. He seemed desperate.
“Great but foolish soul. Are you ready to pay the price?”
“It doesn’t matter what the cost is.”
“Time is not fair. It takes more force than flowing to oppose water. After paying the price, you won’t have a handful of time left. You may not be able to save the woman you love.”
Yulif stared at the door without answering. It wasn’t a conversation through voice, but the vibration that went straight into her head was the sound of the door. The door opened slowly. Through the gap, a bright light that seemed to blind, as if all colors in the world were mixed, flickered. It was the flashing light on the pocket watch.
“I don’t want to regret it again.”
It was a promise he made to himself, not to someone else. Yulif did not cry. He was expressionless, as if it was a lie that he spoke heart-pounding tear-jerking words. But Canaren could hear it clearly. He was sobbing in his heart.
That he killed her. That his love made her sick. That his ignorance tormented her. His selfishness made her resign. He… He… He couldn’t save her. It was all his fault
“I am the one who should die.”
Yulif walked slowly towards the open door. no. Do not go! Canaren tried to stop him, but she didn’t have a physical body and she couldn’t do anything. She had no choice but to watch Yulif cross the door, turn time back, and return to her.
As she watched him slowly sinking into the light, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to do it.
‘Yulif, you saved me. Thanks to your love, I was able to survive in the Imperial Palace, where even dreaming of hope was a luxury. I liked your warm eyes. I liked the shadow that quietly envelops me. Your scent, your voice, your touch, everything was comforting and comforting. Yulif, you didn’t kill me. Your love has never made me unhappy. It never had.’
‘So Yulif, you shouldn’t have lived alone.’
Yulif disappeared completely and the door closed. At the same time, Canaren’s consciousness faded. She did not wonder what had happened to Yulif, who had crossed the door, or what choice he had made. Because… because…
The one who he had been with since then was her, not the one who taught him the Hwira language. It was her.
*******
“…I was stupid I knew nothing.”
How pained Yulif must have been. How much Yulif had done to save her from the emperor and to get her out of the Imperial Palace. How did Yulif feel when he was by her side?
How much Yulif loved her.
Tears that she thought had dried up to the bottom fell again. Canren brought Yulif’s hand to her own cheek. Rather than goosebumps, her heart shivered in his ice-cold hands.
Yulif’s hands were always warm. In the snowy northern part she visited for the first time in her life, at the bright flower market of Pionia, on the road to the village together on the wedding day. It was always big and warm.
“Madam.”
Duke Theodore called her carefully. Canaren blinked, wiped away the tears, and looked at the duke. There was a strange feeling in his unfamiliar face. Duke Theodore, who noticed the puzzlement in her gaze, showed his characteristic generous smile.
“This old man is called Duke Theodore. I am the father to Empress Estella.”
“Ah…”
“Duke Rubius asked me to do something. The duke asked me not to tell you, but somehow I believe I shouldn’t be hiding it.”
“What… What did Yulif ask for?”
“Are you a Hwira?”
Canaren nodded her head. Even if it wasn’t a buzzing rumor, he could tell by looking at her pointed, elongated ears and the four wings on her back. Duke Theodore nodded his head, as if telling himself it must be so.
“The duke said that he would make my grandson, Lucian, emperor. In return, he asked me to ensure the safety of the Hwira people. He broke the law and sent a wizard to set up a barrier around the village. It would be best if they could live with people, but if that was difficult, he asked me to keep the records related to the Hwira people safe, even by destroying them. That was the condition the duke offered.”
Canaren bit her lips. It was to hold back her tears, which were about to burst out incessantly. She squeezed Yulif’s hand tightly. Who could have imagined that the meaning of sending her back to the village if she stayed with him for three months would mean something like this?
‘Why didn’t you tell me? Why are you trying to do everything by yourself?’ Canaren hated Yulif. She was sad. But those thoughts were only momentary. He shouldn’t have suffered alone. She felt pity for him, who seemed to have gone crazy.
“The terms of a deal for the emperor’s position are unpretentious. It was strange and I thought about it several times, but he was sincere. The duke wasn’t really interested in the throne. There seemed to be only one thought in his mind. I wondered what it was all along, and I finally found the answer.”
After finishing what he wanted to say, Duke Theodore withdrew from the two of them. Canaren looked down at Yulif and laughed. The corners of her lips, which had been pulled up laboriously, trembled.
“Yulif is such an idiot. If you prepare everything like this, you must have thought I would be happy. I said… I think I said it a few times. All I need is you… and I hope you love me.”
(TL/N: Yes, Yulif is an idiot!)
Yulif kept his promise to her. Except for one thing. She became free. There was no emperor who held her and bullied her anymore. If she wanted to, she could return to the village and live a comfortable and enjoyable life as before. Without fear of being hunted, without needing to worry. And, Yulif loved her. To the extent that he risked everything he had to transcend time.
Even so, he never said that he loved her.
And yet.
—I’m sorry.
—I’m sorry. I’m worried. I’m on your side. Eat more, it’s all for you. Pretty. It’s okay now. Stay with me. Don’t die.
Canaren now realized that all the words Yulif said to her were different expressions of love.
‘You fool. You’ve been holding it in.’ She didn’t understand his disingenuous expression either. They were both stupid. She regrets it because it was so stupid. She now knew what he had been thinking and how he had been risking his life to turn back time. She also… she would love him if she could. ‘I want to go back and hug you. I want to keep saying I love you. I want to tell you that your love is good and precious.’
Why did it become like this? They loved each other so much? Why were they always at odds? Couldn’t they both be happy until the end? Turning back time to the point of giving up his life, did he really have to die? Yulif, you… Is this really all right?
‘Can you leave me without saying you love me.’
“…You can’t. I can’t.”
‘I won’t do it.’ Canaren wouldn’t give up on Yulif no matter what. It was still the same then as it was now. She would not give up on him. She couldn’t give up.
“Derek, do you have a dagger?”
“One for self-defense, but why are you suddenly looking for a dagger?”
“Please. I have something I must do.”
Canaren smiled and held out her hand. Derek felt that the bright smile was ominous. If she had a dagger in her hand, it seemed that something irreversible would happen. Then Roana, who had been quietly watching the situation behind them, approached and pulled the dagger from Derek’s waist.
“Hey, Roana!”
“Are you going to do the same to me at Robelheim?”
“Yes. Do you still remember?”
Canaren nodded with a still smiling face. She saved her life, and she didn’t forget it. Deliberately responding lightly, Roana placed the dagger in Canaren’s hand and squeezed her hand.
As a wizard, Roana knew Yulif’s condition more accurately than Derek. Yulif was not in a state where normal medicine or healing magic would work. A miracle or something worthy of a miracle was needed.
“Please save our foolish lord so that I can hit him at least once. Got it?”
“You can’t hit him too hard.”
Having received the dagger, Canaren spread her wings wide. With the large, soft wings, she embraced Yulif and herself. Her white feathers fell from the sky.
In a small and peaceful world just for two, Canaren looked down at Yulif. He was still breathing weakly. She was afraid because she didn’t know when or at any moment that breath would stop.
She couldn’t turn back time like he could. Still, there were things only she could do. She was so glad that she could use her cursed powers for him. ‘I hope you are happy too. Yulif. My dear savior. My night sky. My lover. My rest. My consolation.’
「Let’s be happy together, us.」
Without hesitation, Canaren cut her arm with the dagger. She parted his lips and spilled her blood in it. She saw her wings gleaming golden, and her red blood turning honey-yellow, and it began to seep inside Yulif.
Like the legend of ‘a bird that escapes death’, as Anera said.
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A strong wind blew. The figure of Yulif, who was crying as he hugged ‘her’ corpse, which she did not know of, became smaller. The fragmented time, images, and memories flew around Canaren like petals. All of which contained Yulif with ‘her’.
Sometimes she smiled brightly, sometimes she cried, and sometimes she was angry, but in the scenes, she always seemed happy. It was the same with Yulif. He was always looking at her with his friendly eyes, as if he couldn’t be more affectionate. He was silently saying that things that were ordinary and trivial to others were flashing memories and beautiful fantasies to him.
Canaren captured all the sights one by one. No, she took it to heart. She imprinted them on her soul. She dissolved it in the blood and let it flow through her body.
“I will return to her living time.”
Like shards of glass reflecting light, the precious memories from all around disappeared. What appeared in the endless darkness was Yulif standing in front of the huge door. Yulif’s voice was soft but determined. He seemed desperate.
“Great but foolish soul. Are you ready to pay the price?”
“It doesn’t matter what the cost is.”
“Time is not fair. It takes more force than flowing to oppose water. After paying the price, you won’t have a handful of time left. You may not be able to save the woman you love.”
Yulif stared at the door without answering. It wasn’t a conversation through voice, but the vibration that went straight into her head was the sound of the door. The door opened slowly. Through the gap, a bright light that seemed to blind, as if all colors in the world were mixed, flickered. It was the flashing light on the pocket watch.
“I don’t want to regret it again.”
It was a promise he made to himself, not to someone else. Yulif did not cry. He was expressionless, as if it was a lie that he spoke heart-pounding tear-jerking words. But Canaren could hear it clearly. He was sobbing in his heart.
That he killed her. That his love made her sick. That his ignorance tormented her. His selfishness made her resign. He… He… He couldn’t save her. It was all his fault
“I am the one who should die.”
Yulif walked slowly towards the open door. no. Do not go! Canaren tried to stop him, but she didn’t have a physical body and she couldn’t do anything. She had no choice but to watch Yulif cross the door, turn time back, and return to her.
As she watched him slowly sinking into the light, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to do it.
‘Yulif, you saved me. Thanks to your love, I was able to survive in the Imperial Palace, where even dreaming of hope was a luxury. I liked your warm eyes. I liked the shadow that quietly envelops me. Your scent, your voice, your touch, everything was comforting and comforting. Yulif, you didn’t kill me. Your love has never made me unhappy. It never had.’
‘So Yulif, you shouldn’t have lived alone.’
Yulif disappeared completely and the door closed. At the same time, Canaren’s consciousness faded. She did not wonder what had happened to Yulif, who had crossed the door, or what choice he had made. Because… because…
The one who he had been with since then was her, not the one who taught him the Hwira language. It was her.
*******
“…I was stupid I knew nothing.”
How pained Yulif must have been. How much Yulif had done to save her from the emperor and to get her out of the Imperial Palace. How did Yulif feel when he was by her side?
How much Yulif loved her.
Tears that she thought had dried up to the bottom fell again. Canren brought Yulif’s hand to her own cheek. Rather than goosebumps, her heart shivered in his ice-cold hands.
Yulif’s hands were always warm. In the snowy northern part she visited for the first time in her life, at the bright flower market of Pionia, on the road to the village together on the wedding day. It was always big and warm.
“Madam.”
Duke Theodore called her carefully. Canaren blinked, wiped away the tears, and looked at the duke. There was a strange feeling in his unfamiliar face. Duke Theodore, who noticed the puzzlement in her gaze, showed his characteristic generous smile.
“This old man is called Duke Theodore. I am the father to Empress Estella.”
“Ah…”
“Duke Rubius asked me to do something. The duke asked me not to tell you, but somehow I believe I shouldn’t be hiding it.”
“What… What did Yulif ask for?”
“Are you a Hwira?”
Canaren nodded her head. Even if it wasn’t a buzzing rumor, he could tell by looking at her pointed, elongated ears and the four wings on her back. Duke Theodore nodded his head, as if telling himself it must be so.
“The duke said that he would make my grandson, Lucian, emperor. In return, he asked me to ensure the safety of the Hwira people. He broke the law and sent a wizard to set up a barrier around the village. It would be best if they could live with people, but if that was difficult, he asked me to keep the records related to the Hwira people safe, even by destroying them. That was the condition the duke offered.”
Canaren bit her lips. It was to hold back her tears, which were about to burst out incessantly. She squeezed Yulif’s hand tightly. Who could have imagined that the meaning of sending her back to the village if she stayed with him for three months would mean something like this?
‘Why didn’t you tell me? Why are you trying to do everything by yourself?’ Canaren hated Yulif. She was sad. But those thoughts were only momentary. He shouldn’t have suffered alone. She felt pity for him, who seemed to have gone crazy.
“The terms of a deal for the emperor’s position are unpretentious. It was strange and I thought about it several times, but he was sincere. The duke wasn’t really interested in the throne. There seemed to be only one thought in his mind. I wondered what it was all along, and I finally found the answer.”
After finishing what he wanted to say, Duke Theodore withdrew from the two of them. Canaren looked down at Yulif and laughed. The corners of her lips, which had been pulled up laboriously, trembled.
“Yulif is such an idiot. If you prepare everything like this, you must have thought I would be happy. I said… I think I said it a few times. All I need is you… and I hope you love me.”
(TL/N: Yes, Yulif is an idiot!)
Yulif kept his promise to her. Except for one thing. She became free. There was no emperor who held her and bullied her anymore. If she wanted to, she could return to the village and live a comfortable and enjoyable life as before. Without fear of being hunted, without needing to worry. And, Yulif loved her. To the extent that he risked everything he had to transcend time.
Even so, he never said that he loved her.
And yet.
—I’m sorry.
—I’m sorry. I’m worried. I’m on your side. Eat more, it’s all for you. Pretty. It’s okay now. Stay with me. Don’t die.
Canaren now realized that all the words Yulif said to her were different expressions of love.
‘You fool. You’ve been holding it in.’ She didn’t understand his disingenuous expression either. They were both stupid. She regrets it because it was so stupid. She now knew what he had been thinking and how he had been risking his life to turn back time. She also… she would love him if she could. ‘I want to go back and hug you. I want to keep saying I love you. I want to tell you that your love is good and precious.’
Why did it become like this? They loved each other so much? Why were they always at odds? Couldn’t they both be happy until the end? Turning back time to the point of giving up his life, did he really have to die? Yulif, you… Is this really all right?
‘Can you leave me without saying you love me.’
“…You can’t. I can’t.”
‘I won’t do it.’ Canaren wouldn’t give up on Yulif no matter what. It was still the same then as it was now. She would not give up on him. She couldn’t give up.
“Derek, do you have a dagger?”
“One for self-defense, but why are you suddenly looking for a dagger?”
“Please. I have something I must do.”
Canaren smiled and held out her hand. Derek felt that the bright smile was ominous. If she had a dagger in her hand, it seemed that something irreversible would happen. Then Roana, who had been quietly watching the situation behind them, approached and pulled the dagger from Derek’s waist.
“Hey, Roana!”
“Are you going to do the same to me at Robelheim?”
“Yes. Do you still remember?”
Canaren nodded with a still smiling face. She saved her life, and she didn’t forget it. Deliberately responding lightly, Roana placed the dagger in Canaren’s hand and squeezed her hand.
As a wizard, Roana knew Yulif’s condition more accurately than Derek. Yulif was not in a state where normal medicine or healing magic would work. A miracle or something worthy of a miracle was needed.
“Please save our foolish lord so that I can hit him at least once. Got it?”
“You can’t hit him too hard.”
Having received the dagger, Canaren spread her wings wide. With the large, soft wings, she embraced Yulif and herself. Her white feathers fell from the sky.
In a small and peaceful world just for two, Canaren looked down at Yulif. He was still breathing weakly. She was afraid because she didn’t know when or at any moment that breath would stop.
She couldn’t turn back time like he could. Still, there were things only she could do. She was so glad that she could use her cursed powers for him. ‘I hope you are happy too. Yulif. My dear savior. My night sky. My lover. My rest. My consolation.’
「Let’s be happy together, us.」
Without hesitation, Canaren cut her arm with the dagger. She parted his lips and spilled her blood in it. She saw her wings gleaming golden, and her red blood turning honey-yellow, and it began to seep inside Yulif.
Like the legend of ‘a bird that escapes death’, as Anera said.
A strong wind blew. The figure of Yulif, who was crying as he hugged her' corpse, which she did not know of, became smaller. The fragmented time, images, and memories flew around Canaren like petals. All of which contained Yulif with her'.Sometimes she smiled brightly, sometimes she cried, and sometimes she was angry, but in the scenes, she always seemed happy. It was the same with Yulif. He was always looking at her with his friendly eyes, as if he couldn't be more affectionate. He was silently saying that things that were ordinary and trivial to others were flashing memories and beautiful fantasies to him.Canaren captured all the sights one by one. No, she took it to heart. She imprinted them on her soul. She dissolved it in the blood and let it flow through her body.I will return to her living time.Like shards of glass reflecting light, the precious memories from all around disappeared. What appeared in the endless darkness was Yulif standing in front of the huge door. Yulif's voice was soft but determined. He seemed desperate.Great but foolish soul. Are you ready to pay the price?It doesn't matter what the cost is.Time is not fair. It takes more force than flowing to oppose water. After paying the price, you won't have a handful of time left. You may not be able to save the woman you love.Yulif stared at the door without answering. It wasn't a conversation through voice, but the vibration that went straight into her head was the sound of the door. The door opened slowly. Through the gap, a bright light that seemed to blind, as if all colors in the world were mixed, flickered. It was the flashing light on the pocket watch.I don't want to regret it again.It was a promise he made to himself, not to someone else. Yulif did not cry. He was expressionless, as if it was a lie that he spoke heart-pounding tear-jerking words. But Canaren could hear it clearly. He was sobbing in his heart.That he killed her. That his love made her sick. That his ignorance tormented her. His selfishness made her resign. He He He couldn't save her. It was all his faultI am the one who should die.Yulif walked slowly towards the open door. no. Do not go! Canaren tried to stop him, but she didn't have a physical body and she couldn't do anything. She had no choice but to watch Yulif cross the door, turn time back, and return to her.As she watched him slowly sinking into the light, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to do it.Yulif, you saved me. Thanks to your love, I was able to survive in the Imperial Palace, where even dreaming of hope was a luxury. I liked your warm eyes. I liked the shadow that quietly envelops me. Your scent, your voice, your touch, everything was comforting and comforting. Yulif, you didn't kill me. Your love has never made me unhappy. It never had.'So Yulif, you shouldn't have lived alone.'Yulif disappeared completely and the door closed. At the same time, Canaren's consciousness faded. She did not wonder what had happened to Yulif, who had crossed the door, or what choice he had made. Because becauseThe one who he had been with since then washer, not the one who taught him the Hwira language. It was her.*******I was stupid I knew nothing.How pained Yulif must have been. How much Yulif had done to save her from the emperor and to get her out of the Imperial Palace. How did Yulif feel when he was by her side?How much Yulif loved her.Tears that she thought had dried up to the bottom fell again. Canren brought Yulif's hand to her own cheek. Rather than goosebumps, her heart shivered in his ice-cold hands.Yulif's hands were always warm. In the snowy northern part she visited for the first time in her life, at the bright flower market of Pionia, on the road to the village together on the wedding day. It was always big and warm.Madam.Duke Theodore called her carefully. Canaren blinked, wiped away the tears, and looked at the duke. There was a strange feeling in his unfamiliar face. Duke Theodore, who noticed the puzzlement in her gaze, showed his characteristic generous smile.This old man is called Duke Theodore. I am the father to Empress Estella.AhDuke Rubius asked me to do something. The duke asked me not to tell you, but somehow I believe I shouldn't be hiding it.What What did Yulif ask for?Are you a Hwira?Canaren nodded her head. Even if it wasn't a buzzing rumor, he could tell by looking at her pointed, elongated ears and the four wings on her back. Duke Theodore nodded his head, as if telling himself it must be so.The duke said that he would make my grandson, Lucian, emperor. In return, he asked me to ensure the safety of the Hwira people. He broke the law and sent a wizard to set up a barrier around the village. It would be best if they could live with people, but if that was difficult, he asked me to keep the records related to the Hwira people safe, even by destroying them. That was the condition the duke offered.Canaren bit her lips. It was to hold back her tears, which were about to burst out incessantly. She squeezed Yulif's hand tightly. Who could have imagined that the meaning of sending her back to the village if she stayed with him for three months would mean something like this?Why didn't you tell me? Why are you trying to do everything by yourself?' Canaren hated Yulif. She was sad. But those thoughts were only momentary. He shouldn't have suffered alone. She felt pity for him, who seemed to have gone crazy.The terms of a deal for the emperor's position are unpretentious. It was strange and I thought about it several times, but he was sincere. The duke wasn't really interested in the throne. There seemed to be only one thought in his mind. I wondered what it was all along, and I finally found the answer.After finishing what he wanted to say, Duke Theodore withdrew from the two of them. Canaren looked down at Yulif and laughed. The corners of her lips, which had been pulled up laboriously, trembled.Yulif is such an idiot. If you prepare everything like this, you must have thought I would be happy. I said I think I said it a few times. All I need is you and I hope you love me.TL/N: Yes, Yulif is an idiot!Yulif kept his promise to her. Except for one thing. She became free. There was no emperor who held her and bullied her anymore. If she wanted to, she could return to the village and live a comfortable and enjoyable life as before. Without fear of being hunted, without needing to worry. And, Yulif loved her. To the extent that he risked everything he had to transcend time.Even so, he never said that he loved her.And yet.I'm sorry.I'm sorry. I'm worried. I'm on your side. Eat more, it's all for you. Pretty. It's okay now. Stay with me. Don't die.Canaren now realized that all the words Yulif said to her were different expressions of love.You fool. You've been holding it in.' She didn't understand his disingenuous expression either. They were both stupid. She regrets it because it was so stupid. She now knew what he had been thinking and how he had been risking his life to turn back time. She also she would love him if she could. I want to go back and hug you. I want to keep saying I love you. I want to tell you that your love is good and precious.'Why did it become like this? They loved each other so much? Why were they always at odds? Couldn't they both be happy until the end? Turning back time to the point of giving up his life, did he really have to die? Yulif, you Is this really all right?Can you leave me without saying you love me.'You can't. I can't.I won't do it.' Canaren wouldn't give up on Yulif no matter what. It was still the same then as it was now. She would not give up on him. She couldn't give up.Derek, do you have a dagger?One for self-defense, but why are you suddenly looking for a dagger?Please. I have something I must do.Canaren smiled and held out her hand. Derek felt that the bright smile was ominous. If she had a dagger in her hand, it seemed that something irreversible would happen. Then Roana, who had been quietly watching the situation behind them, approached and pulled the dagger from Derek's waist.Hey, Roana!Are you going to do the same to me at Robelheim?Yes. Do you still remember?Canaren nodded with a still smiling face. She saved her life, and she didn't forget it. Deliberately responding lightly, Roana placed the dagger in Canaren's hand and squeezed her hand.As a wizard, Roana knew Yulif's condition more accurately than Derek. Yulif was not in a state where normal medicine or healing magic would work. A miracle or something worthy of a miracle was needed.Please save our foolish lord so that I can hit him at least once. Got it?You can't hit him too hard.Having received the dagger, Canaren spread her wings wide. With the large, soft wings, she embraced Yulif and herself. Her white feathers fell from the sky.In a small and peaceful world just for two, Canaren looked down at Yulif. He was still breathing weakly. She was afraid because she didn't know when or at any moment that breath would stop.She couldn't turn back time like he could. Still, there were things only she could do. She was so glad that she could use her cursed powers for him. I hope you are happy too. Yulif. My dear savior. My night sky. My lover. My rest. My consolation.'Let's be happy together, us.Without hesitation, Canaren cut her arm with the dagger. She parted his lips and spilled her blood in it. She saw her wings gleaming golden, and her red blood turning honey-yellow, and it began to seep inside Yulif.Like the legend of a bird that escapes death', as Anera said.
