“One reason why so few healers agreed to work with the militaries was because of the often soul-crushing dilemma they were put through in those jobs. As a healer, most of us were sworn to do our best to help people, with all we could offer in their time of need.
Yet in the military, you would often be inundated with so many injured you ended up having to pick and choose who to save, and who you would leave to die simply because there were not enough healer to go around, and some of the injured would have to be left to their fates as a result.
All of it just… made you feel so powerless and impotent, and often, you felt like you had condemned every man and woman you left to die with your own hands. Many would often begin to distance themselves further from their patients as a result, shutting away their conscience for efficiency and effectiveness, chopping away at their own souls just to save as many people as they could.
Worst of all? At times when you pass by those who had been deemed too badly injured to be saved, they would look at you, not with accusing or despairing eyes, but with looks of understanding, of peaceful acceptance of their impending deaths.
That was the most painful thing of all.” - Vera Lucia Loniare, retired army healer, now serving as a healer in a quiet, small village in the frontiers.
“Leave me be,” said Therese when Loren came over to help her with her injuries. The middle-aged woman still bled profusely, foul-smelling blood leaking out from the massive wound on her abdomen, even with the bandages tightly wrapped around it as first aid, and she just shook her head at the young healer’s crestfallen face. “I know my body, kid, and I know what you and your friends are capable of. You can’t help me through this, so save the ones who you can help instead.”
Loren was one of the only five medics associated with the company who were willing to follow the rest to the battlefield, rather than waiting for their return at the camp. None of the medics were that powerful as healers, with only Loren and another nature-affinity healer of mediocre power amongst them even capable of magical healing, the rest relying on more mundane medicine and techniques. Their powers were limited, much less with injuries as bad as Therese’s.
With a crestfallen look on his face, Loren left after he exchanged a nod with Therese, who returned an understanding look that seemed to console him, before he left and took over from one of his fellow medics who was dealing with Cassie’s injury. Cassie had one of the worse injuries amongst the group, along with Elfriede and Therese, but her injuries seemed more hopeful at least. As long as they could keep her stabilized long enough to return to their encampment, she could likely still be saved.
The nature-affinity healer in their group was tending to Elfriede’s injury, which while gruesome-looking, was in many ways, a flesh wound as it had not reached her organs. Even so, the wound bled profusely, and it was the healer’s top priority to stem the bleeding until they could get her to better healers in the encampment.
With only mundane healing capabilities in their hands, the other three medics worked on those with lighter injuries, like Ayrie. Ylisera even ignored them and followed Grünhildr to the front lines instead, the deep cut on her face still bleeding all over her clothes. The retreat was going well enough that the healers were able to concentrate on their work even while they were on the move, and Reinhardt even had time to visit them after they left the enemy forces behind.
The battle was dissolving into a one-sided rout by then, with the coalition forces’ field commanders giving contradictory orders to one another, which the defenders took advantage of with extreme prejudice. The young Duchess and her northern cousin even wheeled their cavalry around for repeated charges into the flanks of the faltering enemies, which helped divert their attention from the mercenaries circling around them to head back to the fort.
As Reinhardt came to visit, he was directed to Therese by a pale-faced Elfriede. Most of the injured from her detachment had been stabilized by then, other than Therese, who was beyond the ability of their present healers and medics to save. As the Captain of the company, it was only suitable for Reinhardt to at least listen to the last words of someone who had given their life under his command.
“Heya, boss,” said Therese as Reinhardt walked alongside her. Two of the company’s men carried her on a stretcher, and while the woman looked pale and weak, she also looked at Reinhardt with a surprisingly serene look on her face. She was dying, and she likely knew it all along, which was why she sent Loren away to care for the others instead. “Came for a visit before the end?”
Reinhardt just nodded quietly to her question, with a bit of guilt and frustration on his features. If only they had a better healer employed, or if only they could get back to the encampment sooner, then Therese wouldn’t have to die. But the grim reality before him dictated otherwise. They had no such healer, and were still at least another half hour or so from the encampment, since they had to skirt around the battlefield. In the end, all he could give her were some words of comfort. “Thank you for all you have done for us… and sorry.”
“It’s been twenty-seven years… since Bernd and I left our little village in the middle of nowhere and looked for a more exciting life,” said Therese as she reminisced a bit about her past. Reinhardt was well aware of her condition. The cut on her abdomen had also carved through many of her organs and tore them apart, and the only reason she was still so lucid and aware was because Loren gave her some painkiller draughts to make her more comfortable. It was all he could do for her. “We’ve been working as mercs for over two and a half decades, most of it with the company… We had expected it might end this way one day… so we weren’t that surprised.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m about to die… or maybe it’s the painkiller getting me high, but I sorta feel clearer in the head than I’ve ever been before, boss…” she said as her voice slightly faded. “I don’t really regret the choices I made. I don’t think Bernd would either. We lived the high life, and at least went out fighting… better than expiring in the bed, old and decrepit to the point that we’d need help not to soil our pants…”
“You all did well,” said Reinhardt in a consoling way. “We are proud of you.”
“Heh, feels weird to hear such pleasantries coming off your mouth, boss. Save ‘em for the snotty nobles instead…” said Therese with an even weaker voice. The woman was dying, the light of life slowly fading out from her eyes. “Just promise me one thing… My little tykes… they’d be the recipient of our final paycheck, no…? Please take good care of them for me…”
“I will look after them as if they were my own, I swear,” replied Reinhardt. Bernd and Therese had two children, an older boy who had just turned fifteen and was Goran’s apprentice and student, and a younger girl around eight who hung around with Erycea’s group most of the time. By default, since they were the only families of the deceased, both their final paychecks and death benefits would be paid out to them.
“Thanks…” said Therese with halting words and she slowly but surely weakened. “I can at least… rest in peace… knowing that… they’re… in good… hands…”
With those words, the woman closed her eyes, and exhaled one final time as the flame of her life extinguished.
Avitue
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“One reason why so few healers agreed to work with the militaries was because of the often soul-crushing dilemma they were put through in those jobs. As a healer, most of us were sworn to do our best to help people, with all we could offer in their time of need.
Yet in the military, you would often be inundated with so many injured you ended up having to pick and choose who to save, and who you would leave to die simply because there were not enough healer to go around, and some of the injured would have to be left to their fates as a result.
All of it just… made you feel so powerless and impotent, and often, you felt like you had condemned every man and woman you left to die with your own hands. Many would often begin to distance themselves further from their patients as a result, shutting away their conscience for efficiency and effectiveness, chopping away at their own souls just to save as many people as they could.
Worst of all? At times when you pass by those who had been deemed too badly injured to be saved, they would look at you, not with accusing or despairing eyes, but with looks of understanding, of peaceful acceptance of their impending deaths.
That was the most painful thing of all.” - Vera Lucia Loniare, retired army healer, now serving as a healer in a quiet, small village in the frontiers.
“Leave me be,” said Therese when Loren came over to help her with her injuries. The middle-aged woman still bled profusely, foul-smelling blood leaking out from the massive wound on her abdomen, even with the bandages tightly wrapped around it as first aid, and she just shook her head at the young healer’s crestfallen face. “I know my body, kid, and I know what you and your friends are capable of. You can’t help me through this, so save the ones who you can help instead.”
Loren was one of the only five medics associated with the company who were willing to follow the rest to the battlefield, rather than waiting for their return at the camp. None of the medics were that powerful as healers, with only Loren and another nature-affinity healer of mediocre power amongst them even capable of magical healing, the rest relying on more mundane medicine and techniques. Their powers were limited, much less with injuries as bad as Therese’s.
With a crestfallen look on his face, Loren left after he exchanged a nod with Therese, who returned an understanding look that seemed to console him, before he left and took over from one of his fellow medics who was dealing with Cassie’s injury. Cassie had one of the worse injuries amongst the group, along with Elfriede and Therese, but her injuries seemed more hopeful at least. As long as they could keep her stabilized long enough to return to their encampment, she could likely still be saved.
The nature-affinity healer in their group was tending to Elfriede’s injury, which while gruesome-looking, was in many ways, a flesh wound as it had not reached her organs. Even so, the wound bled profusely, and it was the healer’s top priority to stem the bleeding until they could get her to better healers in the encampment.
With only mundane healing capabilities in their hands, the other three medics worked on those with lighter injuries, like Ayrie. Ylisera even ignored them and followed Grünhildr to the front lines instead, the deep cut on her face still bleeding all over her clothes. The retreat was going well enough that the healers were able to concentrate on their work even while they were on the move, and Reinhardt even had time to visit them after they left the enemy forces behind.
The battle was dissolving into a one-sided rout by then, with the coalition forces’ field commanders giving contradictory orders to one another, which the defenders took advantage of with extreme prejudice. The young Duchess and her northern cousin even wheeled their cavalry around for repeated charges into the flanks of the faltering enemies, which helped divert their attention from the mercenaries circling around them to head back to the fort.
As Reinhardt came to visit, he was directed to Therese by a pale-faced Elfriede. Most of the injured from her detachment had been stabilized by then, other than Therese, who was beyond the ability of their present healers and medics to save. As the Captain of the company, it was only suitable for Reinhardt to at least listen to the last words of someone who had given their life under his command.
“Heya, boss,” said Therese as Reinhardt walked alongside her. Two of the company’s men carried her on a stretcher, and while the woman looked pale and weak, she also looked at Reinhardt with a surprisingly serene look on her face. She was dying, and she likely knew it all along, which was why she sent Loren away to care for the others instead. “Came for a visit before the end?”
Reinhardt just nodded quietly to her question, with a bit of guilt and frustration on his features. If only they had a better healer employed, or if only they could get back to the encampment sooner, then Therese wouldn’t have to die. But the grim reality before him dictated otherwise. They had no such healer, and were still at least another half hour or so from the encampment, since they had to skirt around the battlefield. In the end, all he could give her were some words of comfort. “Thank you for all you have done for us… and sorry.”
“It’s been twenty-seven years… since Bernd and I left our little village in the middle of nowhere and looked for a more exciting life,” said Therese as she reminisced a bit about her past. Reinhardt was well aware of her condition. The cut on her abdomen had also carved through many of her organs and tore them apart, and the only reason she was still so lucid and aware was because Loren gave her some painkiller draughts to make her more comfortable. It was all he could do for her. “We’ve been working as mercs for over two and a half decades, most of it with the company… We had expected it might end this way one day… so we weren’t that surprised.”
“Maybe it’s because I’m about to die… or maybe it’s the painkiller getting me high, but I sorta feel clearer in the head than I’ve ever been before, boss…” she said as her voice slightly faded. “I don’t really regret the choices I made. I don’t think Bernd would either. We lived the high life, and at least went out fighting… better than expiring in the bed, old and decrepit to the point that we’d need help not to soil our pants…”
“You all did well,” said Reinhardt in a consoling way. “We are proud of you.”
“Heh, feels weird to hear such pleasantries coming off your mouth, boss. Save ‘em for the snotty nobles instead…” said Therese with an even weaker voice. The woman was dying, the light of life slowly fading out from her eyes. “Just promise me one thing… My little tykes… they’d be the recipient of our final paycheck, no…? Please take good care of them for me…”
“I will look after them as if they were my own, I swear,” replied Reinhardt. Bernd and Therese had two children, an older boy who had just turned fifteen and was Goran’s apprentice and student, and a younger girl around eight who hung around with Erycea’s group most of the time. By default, since they were the only families of the deceased, both their final paychecks and death benefits would be paid out to them.
“Thanks…” said Therese with halting words and she slowly but surely weakened. “I can at least… rest in peace… knowing that… they’re… in good… hands…”
With those words, the woman closed her eyes, and exhaled one final time as the flame of her life extinguished.
Avitue
If you enjoy this story, please consider leaving a rating or review to help it gain more exposure, thank you! Or help support the author by leaving a tip!
Read ahead on my Patreon! For 5$ a month patrons will gain early access of up to 20 chapters ahead, or for 10$ a month, gain early access of up to 45 chapters ahead!
Or you can subscribe to all my stories and get a 10% discount on the price!
For every 15 cumulative new patrons in the Free Mage/Free Archmage/Magus/Archmagus tier I get in a month, from the next month onwards the respective patreon tiers will receive +5/+10 chapters permanently, until we reach my usual 25/55 chapters ahead!
Join the Discord for silly stuff and chat with us!
