Chapter 121: Stella 3
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Their relationship can be considered as infatuation but not love. Still I wasn't confident enough to tell Regina that or even Theo. My position is quite complex. I was an outsider. Therefore I remained silent. They will either work on the relationship or break up soon. I may have not dated anyone or been in a relationship but I've seen many people.
This observation gained me so much knowledge. So, I'm like a love guru.
I had this fear that everyone will leave me at some point. Thanks to the insecurity of mine, I was unable to date anyone or romantically involved with anyone. Relationships are shit to be honest. One mistake and then you'll start to fight or argue or doubt each other. It's very fragile.
Seriously why bother being with someone when you can just stay alone.
I continued to give my advice to Theo but it finally happened. Regina broke up with Theo. It was the right thing to do. Although I wonder if I'm responsible for it. I did gave advice to Regina about life and how being in love feels.
Technically I brainwashed her, right?
Was it the right thing to do?
Will she hate me?
The guilt remains chained into my heart. I was scared. The incident from my past, I don't want to repeat it. Oh god! What have I done.
Theo didn't tell me anything. His mood seemed off. I already heard about the breakup from Regina after the second day of their separation. Personally, I had no intentions to poke my nose into his life. But he looked so sad. Even if he hides it, I can see the glumness in his eyes. At that moment I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him that things will get better soon.
As long he keeps it all to himself, I can not help him.
Few days later we went to my parent's anniversary party. Vincent, Albert, Simon and Ray, all of my friends were there. I was happy to see them after a long time. But after Theo met Ray, his behaviour changed.
Then suddenly, Theo became furious with me. I went out with Ray since I was unable to meet him for a long time. My phone was switched off and it made him worry. We continue to argue and it ends up as a fight.
" I don't care with whom you have lunch with but you should have informed me about it." He shouted out.
" Why do I have to tell you?! Didn't we agreed to stay out of each other's life? Then why are you buŧŧing in my life?" My inner lioness roars back at him which I regretted later on.
" Your life? You should be aware that what you do outside with others, it can affect my public image. So, I'm only concerned about that. Make sure you remember it." He left me speechless although his words were correct. He was really worried about me. I could have talked more politely.
During those time I was on my periods. So, it's kinda natural for me to act that way. I started to avoid him. The distance between us grew further. The silence remained unshaken.
My mom was sick so I came to visit her. Theo informed me that he'll be going on a business trip. I stay with my parents. My heart was filled with grief. Hard to believe but I was missing Theo. Every time I think of him, my heart ached.
How strange. Just in those few days I became so closed to him.
But god had other plans for us. The road of our love wasn't going to be easy. When I came back home Theo have already retuned from his trip. Then why didn't he inform me?
I was about to call him and then Theo enters at a terrible state. His condition wasn't good. It's far worse than being drunk. He was still in hallucination. Grabbing my arm with all his strength, he took me inside his room. I realised that Theo is unable to hear my words and stop his madness. He begun to touch me passionately like a lover.
" T-Theo... you're drunk..... don't do this" I warned him once again. He refused to come back to his senses. His hands roams over my body.
But surprisingly I was not disgusted by his touch. In fact I wanted more. My eyes went at the flower vase. I can easily grab it then hit him with it. But how strange! I didn't stop him. My body was responding to his touch. I was sober. Never have I felt so ecstatic in my whole life.
Is it because I'm a vɨrġɨn?
Is this why I'm feeling so good after being embraced by a man?
Or what if the reason is the man who's embracing me?
I asked myself one more time before things can go too far. At the end I decided to enjoy it. Of course I had questions but they can be dealt with later. Theo won't remember it and I'll get to loose my vɨrġɨnɨtƴ. I mean I don't really mind giving it to him. Currently he's not in a relationship with anyone. So, none of us doing anything shameful or illegal. I'm an ȧduŀt I can have sėx with whom I like.
Yeah! There's nothing to think more. The night was filled with pŀėȧsurė. My body was on cloud nine. At first it did hurt. Then everything became smooth like buŧŧer. It was night of passion. The only sad thing is Theo was not sober.
When he fell asleep, I kept on gazing at his face. Why did I let him touch me? I never allowed anyone then why him? Please don't tell me that I'm in love with him! This is hard to believe.
But there's no other answer to this!
I calmed my heart. Let's not go further. I'll think of an excuse to end this matter. These feelings have gotten so firm that my body didn't rejected the touch of a man. When Theo came to talk to me next morning he was extremely anxious.
I knew that last night was not his fault. It has nothing to do with alcohol. Someone might have tried to drug him. Good thing that he retuned home safely.
I told him that what happened last night was nothing to be worried about. He was not in his senses. Since he's single now we can be sėx buddies if he agrees. That way I can be closer to him. Asking for his love is way beyond my reach. We are ȧduŀts. Having a physical relationship isn't a big deal. I knew he won't return my feelings so what's the point of making it complicated.
But Theo said something unexpected. He was already in love with me ever since we retuned from the honeymoon trip. I can't believe my own ears.
How can this happen?
But will this happiness last forever?
~ to be continued
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Their relationship can be considered as infatuation but not love. Still I wasn't confident enough to tell Regina that or even Theo. My position is quite complex. I was an outsider. Therefore I remained silent. They will either work on the relationship or break up soon. I may have not dated anyone or been in a relationship but I've seen many people.
This observation gained me so much knowledge. So, I'm like a love guru.
I had this fear that everyone will leave me at some point. Thanks to the insecurity of mine, I was unable to date anyone or romantically involved with anyone. Relationships are shit to be honest. One mistake and then you'll start to fight or argue or doubt each other. It's very fragile.
Seriously why bother being with someone when you can just stay alone.
I continued to give my advice to Theo but it finally happened. Regina broke up with Theo. It was the right thing to do. Although I wonder if I'm responsible for it. I did gave advice to Regina about life and how being in love feels.
Technically I brainwashed her, right?
Was it the right thing to do?
Will she hate me?
The guilt remains chained into my heart. I was scared. The incident from my past, I don't want to repeat it. Oh god! What have I done.
Theo didn't tell me anything. His mood seemed off. I already heard about the breakup from Regina after the second day of their separation. Personally, I had no intentions to poke my nose into his life. But he looked so sad. Even if he hides it, I can see the glumness in his eyes. At that moment I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him that things will get better soon.
As long he keeps it all to himself, I can not help him.
Few days later we went to my parent's anniversary party. Vincent, Albert, Simon and Ray, all of my friends were there. I was happy to see them after a long time. But after Theo met Ray, his behaviour changed.
Then suddenly, Theo became furious with me. I went out with Ray since I was unable to meet him for a long time. My phone was switched off and it made him worry. We continue to argue and it ends up as a fight.
" I don't care with whom you have lunch with but you should have informed me about it." He shouted out.
" Why do I have to tell you?! Didn't we agreed to stay out of each other's life? Then why are you buŧŧing in my life?" My inner lioness roars back at him which I regretted later on.
" Your life? You should be aware that what you do outside with others, it can affect my public image. So, I'm only concerned about that. Make sure you remember it." He left me speechless although his words were correct. He was really worried about me. I could have talked more politely.
During those time I was on my periods. So, it's kinda natural for me to act that way. I started to avoid him. The distance between us grew further. The silence remained unshaken.
My mom was sick so I came to visit her. Theo informed me that he'll be going on a business trip. I stay with my parents. My heart was filled with grief. Hard to believe but I was missing Theo. Every time I think of him, my heart ached.
How strange. Just in those few days I became so closed to him.
But god had other plans for us. The road of our love wasn't going to be easy. When I came back home Theo have already retuned from his trip. Then why didn't he inform me?
I was about to call him and then Theo enters at a terrible state. His condition wasn't good. It's far worse than being drunk. He was still in hallucination. Grabbing my arm with all his strength, he took me inside his room. I realised that Theo is unable to hear my words and stop his madness. He begun to touch me passionately like a lover.
" T-Theo... you're drunk..... don't do this" I warned him once again. He refused to come back to his senses. His hands roams over my body.
But surprisingly I was not disgusted by his touch. In fact I wanted more. My eyes went at the flower vase. I can easily grab it then hit him with it. But how strange! I didn't stop him. My body was responding to his touch. I was sober. Never have I felt so ecstatic in my whole life.
Is it because I'm a vɨrġɨn?
Is this why I'm feeling so good after being embraced by a man?
Or what if the reason is the man who's embracing me?
I asked myself one more time before things can go too far. At the end I decided to enjoy it. Of course I had questions but they can be dealt with later. Theo won't remember it and I'll get to loose my vɨrġɨnɨtƴ. I mean I don't really mind giving it to him. Currently he's not in a relationship with anyone. So, none of us doing anything shameful or illegal. I'm an ȧduŀt I can have sėx with whom I like.
Yeah! There's nothing to think more. The night was filled with pŀėȧsurė. My body was on cloud nine. At first it did hurt. Then everything became smooth like buŧŧer. It was night of passion. The only sad thing is Theo was not sober.
When he fell asleep, I kept on gazing at his face. Why did I let him touch me? I never allowed anyone then why him? Please don't tell me that I'm in love with him! This is hard to believe.
But there's no other answer to this!
I calmed my heart. Let's not go further. I'll think of an excuse to end this matter. These feelings have gotten so firm that my body didn't rejected the touch of a man. When Theo came to talk to me next morning he was extremely anxious.
I knew that last night was not his fault. It has nothing to do with alcohol. Someone might have tried to drug him. Good thing that he retuned home safely.
I told him that what happened last night was nothing to be worried about. He was not in his senses. Since he's single now we can be sėx buddies if he agrees. That way I can be closer to him. Asking for his love is way beyond my reach. We are ȧduŀts. Having a physical relationship isn't a big deal. I knew he won't return my feelings so what's the point of making it complicated.
But Theo said something unexpected. He was already in love with me ever since we retuned from the honeymoon trip. I can't believe my own ears.
How can this happen?
But will this happiness last forever?
~ to be continued
Their relationship can be considered as infatuation but not love. Still I wasn't confident enough to tell Regina that or even Theo. My position is quite complex. I was an outsider. Therefore I remained silent. They will either work on the relationship or break up soon. I may have not dated anyone or been in a relationship but I've seen many people. This observation gained me so much knowledge. So, I'm like a love guru. I had this fear that everyone will leave me at some point. Thanks to the insecurity of mine, I was unable to date anyone or romantically involved with anyone. Relationships are shit to be honest. One mistake and then you'll start to fight or argue or doubt each other. It's very fragile. Seriously why bother being with someone when you can just stay alone. I continued to give my advice to Theo but it finally happened. Regina broke up with Theo. It was the right thing to do. Although I wonder if I'm responsible for it. I did gave advice to Regina about life and how being in love feels. Technically I brainwashed her, right? Was it the right thing to do? Will she hate me? The guilt remains chained into my heart. I was scared. The incident from my past, I don't want to repeat it. Oh god! What have I done. Theo didn't tell me anything. His mood seemed off. I already heard about the breakup from Regina after the second day of their separation. Personally, I had no intentions to poke my nose into his life. But he looked so sad. Even if he hides it, I can see the glumness in his eyes. At that moment I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him that things will get better soon. As long he keeps it all to himself, I can not help him. Few days later we went to my parent's anniversary party. Vincent, Albert, Simon and Ray, all of my friends were there. I was happy to see them after a long time. But after Theo met Ray, his behaviour changed. Then suddenly, Theo became furious with me. I went out with Ray since I was unable to meet him for a long time. My phone was switched off and it made him worry. We continue to argue and it ends up as a fight. " I don't care with whom you have lunch with but you should have informed me about it." He shouted out. " Why do I have to tell you?! Didn't we agreed to stay out of each other's life? Then why are you buing in my life?" My inner lioness roars back at him which I regretted later on. " Your life? You should be aware that what you do outside with others, it can affect my public image. So, I'm only concerned about that. Make sure you remember it." He left me speechless although his words were correct. He was really worried about me. I could have talked more politely. During those time I was on my periods. So, it's kinda natural for me to act that way. I started to avoid him. The distance between us grew further. The silence remained unshaken. My mom was sick so I came to visit her. Theo informed me that he'll be going on a business trip. I stay with my parents. My heart was filled with grief. Hard to believe but I was missing Theo. Every time I think of him, my heart ached. How strange. Just in those few days I became so closed to him. But god had other plans for us. The road of our love wasn't going to be easy. When I came back home Theo have already retuned from his trip. Then why didn't he inform me? I was about to call him and then Theo enters at a terrible state. His condition wasn't good. It's far worse than being drunk. He was still in hallucination. Grabbing my arm with all his strength, he took me inside his room. I realised that Theo is unable to hear my words and stop his madness. He begun to touch me passionately like a lover. " T-Theo... you're drunk..... don't do this" I warned him once again. He refused to come back to his senses. His hands roams over my body. But surprisingly I was not disgusted by his touch. In fact I wanted more. My eyes went at the flower vase. I can easily grab it then hit him with it. But how strange! I didn't stop him. My body was responding to his touch. I was sober. Never have I felt so ecstatic in my whole life. Is it because I'm a vrn? Is this why I'm feeling so good after being embraced by a man? Or what if the reason is the man who's embracing me? I asked myself one more time before things can go too far. At the end I decided to enjoy it. Of course I had questions but they can be dealt with later. Theo won't remember it and I'll get to loose my vrnt. I mean I don't really mind giving it to him. Currently he's not in a relationship with anyone. So, none of us doing anything shameful or illegal. I'm an dut I can have sx with whom I like. Yeah! There's nothing to think more. The night was filled with psur. My body was on cloud nine. At first it did hurt. Then everything became smooth like buer. It was night of passion. The only sad thing is Theo was not sober. When he fell asleep, I kept on gazing at his face. Why did I let him touch me? I never allowed anyone then why him? Please don't tell me that I'm in love with him! This is hard to believe. But there's no other answer to this! I calmed my heart. Let's not go further. I'll think of an excuse to end this matter. These feelings have gotten so firm that my body didn't rejected the touch of a man. When Theo came to talk to me next morning he was extremely anxious. I knew that last night was not his fault. It has nothing to do with alcohol. Someone might have tried to drug him. Good thing that he retuned home safely. I told him that what happened last night was nothing to be worried about. He was not in his senses. Since he's single now we can be sx buddies if he agrees. That way I can be closer to him. Asking for his love is way beyond my reach. We are duts. Having a physical relationship isn't a big deal. I knew he won't return my feelings so what's the point of making it complicated. But Theo said something unexpected. He was already in love with me ever since we retuned from the honeymoon trip. I can't believe my own ears. How can this happen? But will this happiness last forever? ~ to be continued
