Chapter 44: Love Drug
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My eyes opened and faced the bright white painted ceiling. My head was hurting a little, still I sat up on my bed, scratching my head with the palm of my hand.
Jesus! I shouldn't drink like that! It was a terrible experience for me.
On the other hand I get to experience such vivid dream which will never be my reality. If only my dreams were real, life would have been way better. Alas! those things will only be my imagination.
I got down from the bed and realised that I wasn't wearing any clothes which is strange for me. There's never been a day where I went to sleep nȧkėd at least I had my shorts.
With fear and confusion I looked at the bed quickly, hoping that nothing serious happened.
There was few drops of bloods on my white bed sheet, they were dried up—— as if they were stained last night.
Fuck. My. Life.
The memories of my last night, the memories of my dreams, they are all real!
No,no,no,no, it can't be. Not like this! What the hell I have done!?
I grabbed the shorts and put it on quickly. Without even brushing my teeth I went straight towards to Stella's room. When I came in front her room, the door was unlocked. That means she's downstairs. I ran towards the downstairs, walking down the staircase like a manic.
Stella was standing at the dining table. The back side of her body stood still, arranging the plates. I was anxious and scared to call out her name.
What will I say? How will I face her?
" Oh you're awake." She noticed my intense gaze, burning through her neck.
" Did I.... Did I.... last night... I...." I was chocking on my words, they couldn't get out from my mouth.
" I also have something to say about that. Why don't you go freshen up? I'll come to your room." Her reply came blank and casual. It was evident that she's going to leave.
Every thing just went wrong. I would have never imagine that I would destroy my own happiness with my own two hands.
I can't believe that I forced myself on a girl. In my whole life I have never done something so disgusting like this. It's even more saddening that the girl I forced myself on, has to be the girl I loved.
How will I face her?
How will I face my mother?
This shameful behaviour of mine, has no worth of being forgiven.
With a very heavy heart I sat on the couch waiting for Stella. As I had written in the contract, we will never have any intimacy or get physical. Now that the rule is broken she will most certainly divorce me and leave the house. I can't even beg her to forgive me. What I did was so cruel. There was a knock on the door but I had left it unlocked so, Stella opened it and came inside.
I was looking down on the floor with shame and contempt, trying to hold back my tears. Honestly this was the most heartbreaking and disgraceful moment of my entire life. I had failed myself as a man, as a son, as a friend, as a lover, as a human.
" So... I know that you may not like what I'm going to say next, but I wanted to tell you that if you agree, we can keep on doing what we did last night."
" Of course, we can do— wait what?!" I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the whole thing properly. Which made me jump in shock afterwards.
" Look I know you and Regina broke up, but I still don't know if you are dating someone else at the moment. If that not, we can have sėx once in while.... but of course we won't have to be in a relationship... you know kinda like friends with sėxuȧŀ benefits type? Only if you are okay with it." My ear drums were senseless perhaps I can't really understand what she was trying to say.
" Wait,Wait,wait I can not process everything that you are saying. First tell me, last night I forced you to have sėx with me right?"
" Yes."
" And now you want me to become your sėx buddy?"
" Sort of.... yeah"
" But didn't I.... like took advantage of you?"
" Well I liked it so, I guess we can say, it wasn't forced or maybe I'm just mȧsȯċhɨst. "
Wow! Seriously? Is this the after effect of watching ' Fifty Shades Of Grey' ?
( A/N: it's popular romance book based on Bdsm theme. I ȧssume most of you know about it.)
" But- but.... look at the blood! It was your first time! How can you be so calm and cool with it?!"
" It was my first time but that's not my blood."
" Huh?"
" Your scraped your arm last night. That blood fell from there. I have put bandaids on it." I stretched out both of my arms and I noticed that my left arm had two bandaid on it. I was so depressed after waking up that I didn't looked at my body.
" I don't understand. Everything seems so bizarre and-"
" Weird?"
" Yeah! I don't know how to react on this matter, I mean I'm happy that you're not upset with me or got hurt because of me. Oh god! Jesus Christ! What a ride of emotional roller coaster I just had! " One thing I came to understand that Stella was not hurt or upset about what happened yesterday. Apart from that I still have so many things to sort out with her. It's now or never.
" When you suddenly acted that way, pushing on bed and all, I was scared at first. But as everything went I started to like it even I don't know why. Perhaps I never had sėx or maybe I didn't back off knowing that it was you. "
" What ever you say, truth is I was drunk and I tried to force myself on you."
" No. I think you were not drunk. You were drugged."
" What? How can you tell?"
" Drunk people easily gets tired or falls asleep. But your body was hot and when you were.... umm... doing it with me it felt like you had taken aphrodisiac type drug to... umm.. boost your performance? Uhh...It's kinda awkward to explain it" She was trying to hold onto her laughing as she was explaining it. On the other hand I was burn into ashes with embarrassment.
~ to be continued
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My eyes opened and faced the bright white painted ceiling. My head was hurting a little, still I sat up on my bed, scratching my head with the palm of my hand.
Jesus! I shouldn't drink like that! It was a terrible experience for me.
On the other hand I get to experience such vivid dream which will never be my reality. If only my dreams were real, life would have been way better. Alas! those things will only be my imagination.
I got down from the bed and realised that I wasn't wearing any clothes which is strange for me. There's never been a day where I went to sleep nȧkėd at least I had my shorts.
With fear and confusion I looked at the bed quickly, hoping that nothing serious happened.
There was few drops of bloods on my white bed sheet, they were dried up—— as if they were stained last night.
Fuck. My. Life.
The memories of my last night, the memories of my dreams, they are all real!
No,no,no,no, it can't be. Not like this! What the hell I have done!?
I grabbed the shorts and put it on quickly. Without even brushing my teeth I went straight towards to Stella's room. When I came in front her room, the door was unlocked. That means she's downstairs. I ran towards the downstairs, walking down the staircase like a manic.
Stella was standing at the dining table. The back side of her body stood still, arranging the plates. I was anxious and scared to call out her name.
What will I say? How will I face her?
" Oh you're awake." She noticed my intense gaze, burning through her neck.
" Did I.... Did I.... last night... I...." I was chocking on my words, they couldn't get out from my mouth.
" I also have something to say about that. Why don't you go freshen up? I'll come to your room." Her reply came blank and casual. It was evident that she's going to leave.
Every thing just went wrong. I would have never imagine that I would destroy my own happiness with my own two hands.
I can't believe that I forced myself on a girl. In my whole life I have never done something so disgusting like this. It's even more saddening that the girl I forced myself on, has to be the girl I loved.
How will I face her?
How will I face my mother?
This shameful behaviour of mine, has no worth of being forgiven.
With a very heavy heart I sat on the couch waiting for Stella. As I had written in the contract, we will never have any intimacy or get physical. Now that the rule is broken she will most certainly divorce me and leave the house. I can't even beg her to forgive me. What I did was so cruel. There was a knock on the door but I had left it unlocked so, Stella opened it and came inside.
I was looking down on the floor with shame and contempt, trying to hold back my tears. Honestly this was the most heartbreaking and disgraceful moment of my entire life. I had failed myself as a man, as a son, as a friend, as a lover, as a human.
" So... I know that you may not like what I'm going to say next, but I wanted to tell you that if you agree, we can keep on doing what we did last night."
" Of course, we can do— wait what?!" I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the whole thing properly. Which made me jump in shock afterwards.
" Look I know you and Regina broke up, but I still don't know if you are dating someone else at the moment. If that not, we can have sėx once in while.... but of course we won't have to be in a relationship... you know kinda like friends with sėxuȧŀ benefits type? Only if you are okay with it." My ear drums were senseless perhaps I can't really understand what she was trying to say.
" Wait,Wait,wait I can not process everything that you are saying. First tell me, last night I forced you to have sėx with me right?"
" Yes."
" And now you want me to become your sėx buddy?"
" Sort of.... yeah"
" But didn't I.... like took advantage of you?"
" Well I liked it so, I guess we can say, it wasn't forced or maybe I'm just mȧsȯċhɨst. "
Wow! Seriously? Is this the after effect of watching ' Fifty Shades Of Grey' ?
( A/N: it's popular romance book based on Bdsm theme. I ȧssume most of you know about it.)
" But- but.... look at the blood! It was your first time! How can you be so calm and cool with it?!"
" It was my first time but that's not my blood."
" Huh?"
" Your scraped your arm last night. That blood fell from there. I have put bandaids on it." I stretched out both of my arms and I noticed that my left arm had two bandaid on it. I was so depressed after waking up that I didn't looked at my body.
" I don't understand. Everything seems so bizarre and-"
" Weird?"
" Yeah! I don't know how to react on this matter, I mean I'm happy that you're not upset with me or got hurt because of me. Oh god! Jesus Christ! What a ride of emotional roller coaster I just had! " One thing I came to understand that Stella was not hurt or upset about what happened yesterday. Apart from that I still have so many things to sort out with her. It's now or never.
" When you suddenly acted that way, pushing on bed and all, I was scared at first. But as everything went I started to like it even I don't know why. Perhaps I never had sėx or maybe I didn't back off knowing that it was you. "
" What ever you say, truth is I was drunk and I tried to force myself on you."
" No. I think you were not drunk. You were drugged."
" What? How can you tell?"
" Drunk people easily gets tired or falls asleep. But your body was hot and when you were.... umm... doing it with me it felt like you had taken aphrodisiac type drug to... umm.. boost your performance? Uhh...It's kinda awkward to explain it" She was trying to hold onto her laughing as she was explaining it. On the other hand I was burn into ashes with embarrassment.
~ to be continued
My eyes opened and faced the bright white painted ceiling. My head was hurting a little, still I sat up on my bed, scratching my head with the palm of my hand.Jesus! I shouldn't drink like that! It was a terrible experience for me.On the other hand I get to experience such vivid dream which will never be my reality. If only my dreams were real, life would have been way better. Alas! those things will only be my imagination.I got down from the bed and realised that I wasn't wearing any clothes which is strange for me. There's never been a day where I went to sleep nkd at least I had my shorts.With fear and confusion I looked at the bed quickly, hoping that nothing serious happened.There was few drops of bloods on my white bed sheet, they were dried up as if they were stained last night.Fuck. My. Life.The memories of my last night, the memories of my dreams, they are all real!No,no,no,no, it can't be. Not like this! What the hell I have done!?I grabbed the shorts and put it on quickly. Without even brushing my teeth I went straight towards to Stella's room. When I came in front her room, the door was unlocked. That means she's downstairs. I ran towards the downstairs, walking down the staircase like a manic.Stella was standing at the dining table. The back side of her body stood still, arranging the plates. I was anxious and scared to call out her name.What will I say? How will I face her?" Oh you're awake." She noticed my intense gaze, burning through her neck." Did I.... Did I.... last night... I...." I was chocking on my words, they couldn't get out from my mouth." I also have something to say about that. Why don't you go freshen up? I'll come to your room." Her reply came blank and casual. It was evident that she's going to leave.Every thing just went wrong. I would have never imagine that I would destroy my own happiness with my own two hands.I can't believe that I forced myself on a girl. In my whole life I have never done something so disgusting like this. It's even more saddening that the girl I forced myself on, has to be the girl I loved.How will I face her?How will I face my mother?This shameful behaviour of mine, has no worth of being forgiven.With a very heavy heart I sat on the couch waiting for Stella. As I had written in the contract, we will never have any intimacy or get physical. Now that the rule is broken she will most certainly divorce me and leave the house. I can't even beg her to forgive me. What I did was so cruel. There was a knock on the door but I had left it unlocked so, Stella opened it and came inside.I was looking down on the floor with shame and contempt, trying to hold back my tears. Honestly this was the most heartbreaking and disgraceful moment of my entire life. I had failed myself as a man, as a son, as a friend, as a lover, as a human." So... I know that you may not like what I'm going to say next, but I wanted to tell you that if you agree, we can keep on doing what we did last night."" Of course, we can do wait what?!" I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't hear the whole thing properly. Which made me jump in shock afterwards." Look I know you and Regina broke up, but I still don't know if you are dating someone else at the moment. If that not, we can have sx once in while.... but of course we won't have to be in a relationship... you know kinda like friends with sxu benefits type? Only if you are okay with it." My ear drums were senseless perhaps I can't really understand what she was trying to say." Wait,Wait,wait I can not process everything that you are saying. First tell me, last night I forced you to have sx with me right?"" Yes."" And now you want me to become your sx buddy?"" Sort of.... yeah"" But didn't I.... like took advantage of you?"" Well I liked it so, I guess we can say, it wasn't forced or maybe I'm just mshst. "Wow! Seriously? Is this the after effect of watching ' Fifty Shades Of Grey' ? A/N: it's popular romance book based on Bdsm theme. I ssume most of you know about it." But- but.... look at the blood! It was your first time! How can you be so calm and cool with it?!"" It was my first time but that's not my blood."" Huh?"" Your scraped your arm last night. That blood fell from there. I have put bandaids on it." I stretched out both of my arms and I noticed that my left arm had two bandaid on it. I was so depressed after waking up that I didn't looked at my body." I don't understand. Everything seems so bizarre and-"" Weird?"" Yeah! I don't know how to react on this matter, I mean I'm happy that you're not upset with me or got hurt because of me. Oh god! Jesus Christ! What a ride of emotional roller coaster I just had! " One thing I came to understand that Stella was not hurt or upset about what happened yesterday. Apart from that I still have so many things to sort out with her. It's now or never." When you suddenly acted that way, pushing on bed and all, I was scared at first. But as everything went I started to like it even I don't know why. Perhaps I never had sx or maybe I didn't back off knowing that it was you. "" What ever you say, truth is I was drunk and I tried to force myself on you."" No. I think you were not drunk. You were drugged."" What? How can you tell?"" Drunk people easily gets tired or falls asleep. But your body was hot and when you were.... umm... doing it with me it felt like you had taken aphrodisiac type drug to... umm.. boost your performance? Uhh...It's kinda awkward to explain it" She was trying to hold onto her laughing as she was explaining it. On the other hand I was burn into ashes with embarrassment.~ to be continued
