< Translated at Blessed Empyrean wordpress. >
Ah.
Renato quietly sighed at the man’s low and heavy lamentation. Worry, distress, guilt, remorse, sorrow…… As Khalid spoke out that he was having a hard time because of him, all kinds of negative emotions were mixed in his voice.
What should I say? That I was at fault? Or apologize for worrying him?
At a loss of what to say, Renato could only open his mouth. He suddenly recalled the advice Khalid had given him before. The day he went to recruit Arche and Iris, the man sternly rebuked him for not taking care of himself. At that time, he vowed to be careful so that he would never worry Khalid, but he tormented the man’s heart again.
“Didn’t I already tell you before? For the sake of those who value Your Imperial Highness, please……”
Why don’t you understand that you are also the most precious person to someone else? Khalid managed to hold back the words reaching his throat. Renato couldn’t value himself because he grew up in that kind of environment. He should blame the people who made Renato become like this, and it wasn’t right to blame Renato.
“Huuu.”
Khalid inhaled and exhaled repeatedly, trying to calm his chaotic mind. However, his feelings couldn’t subside. Just when they settled a little, the thought about the culprits who made Renato like this ignited his rage again.
“I’m sorry for having yelled at you. Even though I wasn’t supposed to do so……”
Khalid, barely containing his anger, apologized in an uncharacteristically depressed voice. Renato had long been exposed to Blanche’s verbal abuse and Maximo’s violence. Even if he was so angry that he couldn’t control his emotions, he shouldn’t have yelled at him.
Khalid raised his head and looked down at Renato with a complicated gaze. Seeing the pale face made his heart ache. He moved up the hand holding Renato’s wrist. As he stroked the inside of Renato’s bruised elbow, he could feel the previously stiff body flinch.
“I know you are helping me and the people around me at your loss…… But I’m not a brazen bastard who can casually accept everything. Please don’t make me a conscienceless human.”
“I’m sorry if it burdened you. I only……”
“There is no need to apologize. I didn’t bring it up to hear that.”
Khalid, interrupting Renato’s words in a softened tone compared to before, carefully pondered his words. Conveying one’s thoughts and feelings to others is an extremely arduous thing. Especially when he hoped that the person would change at least a little.
A person’s personality is not something that can change overnight. As it contains the years of that person’s life, it should not be judged by others as right or wrong. Khalid was careful about everything since it could sound like a complete denial of Renato’s life if done wrong. But there was something he really wanted to say.
“So, I mean to say that…… Your Imperial Highness, you don’t have to try to handle everything alone. And you don’t need to burden yourself because of me.”
A person who only knew how to give love but did not know how to receive it. That was how Khalid saw Renato. Although he grew up not receiving proper affection, the reason he knew how to show love to people around him was probably that he was kind by nature.
Renato was anxious when he couldn’t give others anything more, but he felt burdened when other people’s attention or affection was focused on him. As if he didn’t deserve it.
Needless to say, Renato’s inability to receive love was due to the unfortunate environment where he grew up. Feeling terribly unfamiliar whenever someone liked and praised him, he felt burdened and couldn’t be delighted. Truly, he was a very clumsy person in that aspect.
“I have always wanted to say this from a long time ago, but Your Imperial Highness has already given me so much. What you gave me right now is more than enough. So you don’t have to try to do anything more.”
“But……”
“I am not a child who needs help and protection like His Imperial Highness the 2nd Prince. It’s alright if you don’t suffer losses just to care for me.”
It was undeniable that things went well thanks to Renato, and he certainly benefited from that. But it was different if Renato’s sacrifice was included. Khalid didn’t want to take advantage of Renato’s loss. It wasn’t for his pride, but for Renato.
“……What if I do it because I want to? What if I don’t consider what I gave you a loss, your highness?”
Khalid was momentarily speechless because of the sincere question and blankly opened his mouth. Then, he quietly sighed.
“I am grateful and happy that I’m so valuable to Your Imperial Highness, but please think about it the other way around. Would you be happy if I gave you something by giving up what I had?”
“That……”
“What if I made an arbitrary decision without consulting Your Imperial Highness, went out to the battlefield alone, and got hurt? And what if I said there was no other choice because this method was the best? Could you still compliment me and thank me?”
“……No.”
Renato hesitated, then mumbled his answer in a faint voice. Only then did he understand a little bit why Khalid was angry with him. He would have been very upset if he were in Khalid’s position.
“I don’t mean to deny Your Imperial Highness’ method. Sharing and giving what you have is probably how you treat your precious people.”
Khalid gently stroked Renato’s hair to soothe him who was visibly depressed. Then, he gently held Renato’s chin to make Renato look at him.
“……Just as Your Imperial Highness cherishes Trudy-nim, Sir Louis and Dame Luna, I also cherish you.”
At the man’s unexpected words, Renato inhaled. His round violet eyes shook like petals fluttering in the wind. His heart seemed to drop, but then pounded erratically. He blankly looked up at Khalid.
“Even if our relationship started as a contract, even if we might go our separate ways one day, to me, you are already my person.”
“……”
“So I don’t want to see you force yourself to the point of getting hurt. I don’t want Your Imperial Highness not to value yourself, act like it was okay even if you are destroyed, or lose anything because of me or others. I wish you could be a little more selfish.”
Khalid emphasized each word, hoping that his sincerity would be conveyed. His voice was more serious and powerful than usual. After speaking, he looked down at the dark red bruised arm with eyes full of distress. Then he slowly lowered his head.
“I’m going to cool my head for a while.”
Smooch. Carefully kissing the wound that faintly smelled of blood, Khalid rose to his feet. He thought that it would be better if Renato organized his thoughts alone than being with him.
“I’m sorry. It may be hard to fall asleep again, but…… please rest.”
“Wait……”
Renato couldn’t stop Khalid from leaving the bedroom. The hand trying to hold onto Khalid could not reach him and went back down. He couldn’t decide if he should hold back someone angry with him. All Renato could do was stare at the man’s distant back.
* * *
Something feels odd.
In the quiet carriage, Trudy rolled his eyes, thinking that the atmosphere was strangely heavy today. The child’s gaze turned to Khalid sitting opposite him. From the moment they departed, he had been staring out the window with an expressionless face.
As expected, something is different from usual.
The green eyes, sensing a strong sense of disharmony in Khalid’s much colder appearance than usual, turned to Renato sitting next to him this time. If Khalid was like a frigid frozen winter lake, Renato was like a gloomy sky with dark clouds.
There is obviously something I don’t know.
Trudy easily noticed what had happened between Khalid and Renato. He didn’t want to admit it, but his hyung-nim and the grand prince had a very good relationship. It was even more so after their engagement in the kingdom.
The two had been so busy these past few days that they hadn’t been able to leisurely talk or meet each other, but Trudy knew better than anyone the soft atmosphere between Khalid and Renato. Whenever he was with the two, he felt a strange air resembling sweet sugar cookies or warm spring weather.
Then what is this awkward atmosphere now? Trudy was deeply perplexed by the completely changed air after just one night.
“Perhaps……”
Is this a couple’s quarrel? Trudy muttered to himself, recalling something he once heard from Max. Max said that no matter how close a couple was, they had no choice but to quarrel.
As he had that thought, Renato’s complexion seemed extremely bad. He was sullen like a rabbit with drooping ears, glancing at Khalid once in a while as if studying his countenance.
How dare you upset my hyung-nim!
Concluding that Renato and Khalid had a fight, Trudy clenched his fists. He didn’t know why the two quarreled, but it was unconditionally Khalid’s fault. Right, totally.
Trudy raised his eyes and stared profanely at Khalid, who must have broken his hyung-nim’s heart. But Khalid did not respond.
“Tch……!”
Khalid, as a knight, couldn’t have not noticed his gaze. Toward Khalid who definitely felt his gaze but pretended not to know, Trudy puffed up his cheeks and scowled with hateful eyes.
< Translated at Blessed Empyrean wordpress. >
Ah.
Renato quietly sighed at the man’s low and heavy lamentation. Worry, distress, guilt, remorse, sorrow…… As Khalid spoke out that he was having a hard time because of him, all kinds of negative emotions were mixed in his voice.
What should I say? That I was at fault? Or apologize for worrying him?
At a loss of what to say, Renato could only open his mouth. He suddenly recalled the advice Khalid had given him before. The day he went to recruit Arche and Iris, the man sternly rebuked him for not taking care of himself. At that time, he vowed to be careful so that he would never worry Khalid, but he tormented the man’s heart again.
“Didn’t I already tell you before? For the sake of those who value Your Imperial Highness, please……”
Why don’t you understand that you are also the most precious person to someone else? Khalid managed to hold back the words reaching his throat. Renato couldn’t value himself because he grew up in that kind of environment. He should blame the people who made Renato become like this, and it wasn’t right to blame Renato.
“Huuu.”
Khalid inhaled and exhaled repeatedly, trying to calm his chaotic mind. However, his feelings couldn’t subside. Just when they settled a little, the thought about the culprits who made Renato like this ignited his rage again.
“I’m sorry for having yelled at you. Even though I wasn’t supposed to do so……”
Khalid, barely containing his anger, apologized in an uncharacteristically depressed voice. Renato had long been exposed to Blanche’s verbal abuse and Maximo’s violence. Even if he was so angry that he couldn’t control his emotions, he shouldn’t have yelled at him.
Khalid raised his head and looked down at Renato with a complicated gaze. Seeing the pale face made his heart ache. He moved up the hand holding Renato’s wrist. As he stroked the inside of Renato’s bruised elbow, he could feel the previously stiff body flinch.
“I know you are helping me and the people around me at your loss…… But I’m not a brazen bastard who can casually accept everything. Please don’t make me a conscienceless human.”
“I’m sorry if it burdened you. I only……”
“There is no need to apologize. I didn’t bring it up to hear that.”
Khalid, interrupting Renato’s words in a softened tone compared to before, carefully pondered his words. Conveying one’s thoughts and feelings to others is an extremely arduous thing. Especially when he hoped that the person would change at least a little.
A person’s personality is not something that can change overnight. As it contains the years of that person’s life, it should not be judged by others as right or wrong. Khalid was careful about everything since it could sound like a complete denial of Renato’s life if done wrong. But there was something he really wanted to say.
“So, I mean to say that…… Your Imperial Highness, you don’t have to try to handle everything alone. And you don’t need to burden yourself because of me.”
A person who only knew how to give love but did not know how to receive it. That was how Khalid saw Renato. Although he grew up not receiving proper affection, the reason he knew how to show love to people around him was probably that he was kind by nature.
Renato was anxious when he couldn’t give others anything more, but he felt burdened when other people’s attention or affection was focused on him. As if he didn’t deserve it.
Needless to say, Renato’s inability to receive love was due to the unfortunate environment where he grew up. Feeling terribly unfamiliar whenever someone liked and praised him, he felt burdened and couldn’t be delighted. Truly, he was a very clumsy person in that aspect.
“I have always wanted to say this from a long time ago, but Your Imperial Highness has already given me so much. What you gave me right now is more than enough. So you don’t have to try to do anything more.”
“But……”
“I am not a child who needs help and protection like His Imperial Highness the 2nd Prince. It’s alright if you don’t suffer losses just to care for me.”
It was undeniable that things went well thanks to Renato, and he certainly benefited from that. But it was different if Renato’s sacrifice was included. Khalid didn’t want to take advantage of Renato’s loss. It wasn’t for his pride, but for Renato.
“……What if I do it because I want to? What if I don’t consider what I gave you a loss, your highness?”
Khalid was momentarily speechless because of the sincere question and blankly opened his mouth. Then, he quietly sighed.
“I am grateful and happy that I’m so valuable to Your Imperial Highness, but please think about it the other way around. Would you be happy if I gave you something by giving up what I had?”
“That……”
“What if I made an arbitrary decision without consulting Your Imperial Highness, went out to the battlefield alone, and got hurt? And what if I said there was no other choice because this method was the best? Could you still compliment me and thank me?”
“……No.”
Renato hesitated, then mumbled his answer in a faint voice. Only then did he understand a little bit why Khalid was angry with him. He would have been very upset if he were in Khalid’s position.
“I don’t mean to deny Your Imperial Highness’ method. Sharing and giving what you have is probably how you treat your precious people.”
Khalid gently stroked Renato’s hair to soothe him who was visibly depressed. Then, he gently held Renato’s chin to make Renato look at him.
“……Just as Your Imperial Highness cherishes Trudy-nim, Sir Louis and Dame Luna, I also cherish you.”
At the man’s unexpected words, Renato inhaled. His round violet eyes shook like petals fluttering in the wind. His heart seemed to drop, but then pounded erratically. He blankly looked up at Khalid.
“Even if our relationship started as a contract, even if we might go our separate ways one day, to me, you are already my person.”
“……”
“So I don’t want to see you force yourself to the point of getting hurt. I don’t want Your Imperial Highness not to value yourself, act like it was okay even if you are destroyed, or lose anything because of me or others. I wish you could be a little more selfish.”
Khalid emphasized each word, hoping that his sincerity would be conveyed. His voice was more serious and powerful than usual. After speaking, he looked down at the dark red bruised arm with eyes full of distress. Then he slowly lowered his head.
“I’m going to cool my head for a while.”
Smooch. Carefully kissing the wound that faintly smelled of blood, Khalid rose to his feet. He thought that it would be better if Renato organized his thoughts alone than being with him.
“I’m sorry. It may be hard to fall asleep again, but…… please rest.”
“Wait……”
Renato couldn’t stop Khalid from leaving the bedroom. The hand trying to hold onto Khalid could not reach him and went back down. He couldn’t decide if he should hold back someone angry with him. All Renato could do was stare at the man’s distant back.
* * *
Something feels odd.
In the quiet carriage, Trudy rolled his eyes, thinking that the atmosphere was strangely heavy today. The child’s gaze turned to Khalid sitting opposite him. From the moment they departed, he had been staring out the window with an expressionless face.
As expected, something is different from usual.
The green eyes, sensing a strong sense of disharmony in Khalid’s much colder appearance than usual, turned to Renato sitting next to him this time. If Khalid was like a frigid frozen winter lake, Renato was like a gloomy sky with dark clouds.
There is obviously something I don’t know.
Trudy easily noticed what had happened between Khalid and Renato. He didn’t want to admit it, but his hyung-nim and the grand prince had a very good relationship. It was even more so after their engagement in the kingdom.
The two had been so busy these past few days that they hadn’t been able to leisurely talk or meet each other, but Trudy knew better than anyone the soft atmosphere between Khalid and Renato. Whenever he was with the two, he felt a strange air resembling sweet sugar cookies or warm spring weather.
Then what is this awkward atmosphere now? Trudy was deeply perplexed by the completely changed air after just one night.
“Perhaps……”
Is this a couple’s quarrel? Trudy muttered to himself, recalling something he once heard from Max. Max said that no matter how close a couple was, they had no choice but to quarrel.
As he had that thought, Renato’s complexion seemed extremely bad. He was sullen like a rabbit with drooping ears, glancing at Khalid once in a while as if studying his countenance.
How dare you upset my hyung-nim!
Concluding that Renato and Khalid had a fight, Trudy clenched his fists. He didn’t know why the two quarreled, but it was unconditionally Khalid’s fault. Right, totally.
Trudy raised his eyes and stared profanely at Khalid, who must have broken his hyung-nim’s heart. But Khalid did not respond.
“Tch……!”
Khalid, as a knight, couldn’t have not noticed his gaze. Toward Khalid who definitely felt his gaze but pretended not to know, Trudy puffed up his cheeks and scowled with hateful eyes.
