“……Your Imperial Highness?”
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Seeing Renato’s eyes wet with tears, Khalid called him in a bewildered voice.
“What’s wrong?”
Astonished, Khalid reached out and covered Renato’s cheek. At that moment, a few drops of water dripped down from the slightly drooping eye corner. When the flowing tears wetted the back of his hand, Khalid grandly flinched. The hot water seeped into his skin, making his heart sink.
“I’m, I’m sorry.”
Renato twisted his eye corners and bowed his head. He pursed his trembling lips and held back his tears. However, the tears that had already burst could hardly stop.
“Why am I like this……”
Renato wiped the continuously flowing tears with his hands and rubbed his eye corners. He didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Khalid.
“Please don’t rub like that, it will hurt.”
Belatedly coming to his senses, Khalid hurriedly stopped Renato. Holding the slender wrists and forcibly taking them off, he checked the red-hot eyes soaked in tears and frowned. Renato’s crying was what Khalid didn’t want to see the most.
“Please don’t hold it in and just cry.”
“But, huff.”
Despite Khalid’s words, Renato struggled to swallow the crying sounds leaking from his teeth. His vision was blurry as if drowned in water, so he couldn’t see Khalid’s face clearly, but he could guess what kind of expression the man was having. So he didn’t want to cry anymore.
“I didn’t mean to…… I’m, sorry.”
Barely suppressing his sobs, Renato stammered an apology. Meanwhile, his tears continued to flow.
“It’s alright.”
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Khalid gently pulled Renato, who was still shedding tears, into his arms. He couldn’t understand just what was going on, but he had to comfort Renato first.
“If you force yourself to endure it, you will get sick…… So please just cry to your heart’s content if you want to.”
“Hic.”
When Khalid permitted, the cries that just barely stopped flowed out. Held in the man’s arms, Renato sobbed like a child. With the arms silently embracing him without asking anything and the tender hand gently patting his back, countless known and unknown emotions he had held in his heart while living with Khalid poured out.
Feeling his sleeping gown dripping wet, Khalid clenched his teeth. This wasn’t the first time he had seen Renato cry, but today, he felt so anxious that it was hard to breathe. He patted the intermittently trembling back, transmitting warmth without a word. Because he knew this would be the most effective way to soothe Renato when he cried after several sessions of hypnosis treatments.
“……Have you calmed down?”
After a while, feeling Renato’s crying subsided, Khalid quietly asked. Then, a teary voice came back, saying ‘Yes’.
“I’m sorry for showing this unseemly sight…… I got emotional all of a sudden……”
Renato slightly leaned back, mumbling an apology. How absurd must he have been to cry out of nowhere while saying he couldn’t accept the watch as a wedding gift? He didn’t know how to explain this to Khalid.
“It can happen. Would you like to sit down for now?”
Khalid was not angry with Renato. Rather, he lightly stroked his hair to say it was okay, and led Renato, exhausted from crying, to the bed.
“Do you want some water?”
Placing Renato on the bed, Khalid handed him the water on the side table. Then, on second thought, he directly brought the glass of water to Renato’s lips.
“Please drink slowly.”
“I can drink……”
“Your hands are trembling. You will get all wet if you drop the glass, so come on, that’s right.”
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When Renato drank the water he had given, Khalid smiled to compliment him for having done a good job. Putting the glass of water down on the side table, he knelt in front of Renato and paused to choose his words. There was a pile of things that he wanted to ask Renato, but he hesitated out of fear that Renato would cry again if he said something wrong.
“I think I put a burden on you. I wanted to give you something corresponding to the wedding gift you gave me…… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to force you.”
“No, your highness never forced me. It’s just my problem because I’m weird!”
Renato raised his voice to refute. He didn’t want Khalid to make needless apologies because of his own problems. However, he couldn’t honestly say the reason was that he remembered his previous life.
“It’s not that I don’t want to receive the watch, but I don’t think I should……”
“May I ask why you think so?”
Khalid hesitantly asked. He tried to guess why Renato cried a while ago. And he concluded that it was because of Renato’s secret. So he tried not to ask, but it was hard to endure today.
“I, I just felt so. The watch might break because of me.”
Moving his lips with a face not knowing what to say, Renato opened his mouth with difficulty.
“Why?”
“……I’m sorry, it’s hard to explain. Anyway, this watch is precious to you, your highness. I thought I shouldn’t have it. It shouldn’t be broken because of me.”
“Hmm.”
Khalid hummed in a low tone at Renato’s vague explanation. He felt just like facing an unsolved riddle. Contemplating whether to ask more or to move on like usual, he quickly picked out the only parts he could understand from Renato’s words.
“So you mean you won’t receive the watch for fear that it might break?”
“……Yes.”
“If that’s the case, it’s fine. Please don’t worry, you can take it.”
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“Is it fine?”
“My mother left this watch to protect me from external dangers because I’d be alone after she passed away. If the watch breaks, that means it has played its role as an artifact.”
Finishing talking, Khalid placed the pocket watch in Renato’s hand. As he talked, he thought he should definitely give it to Renato.
Variables always exist.
No matter how well prepared he was to protect Renato, he couldn’t control everything. Since unforeseen accidents must be kept in mind, Khalid wanted this watch to protect Renato on occasions when he couldn’t help him.
“If the watch breaks while protecting Your Imperial Highness, I’ll actually feel proud and rewarded. I’m sure my mother who left me the watch will be delighted as well. Didn’t Your Imperial Highness also give me the sword ornament with that in mind?”
“Yes, but……”
“So please accept it without the need to feel burdened. But if you really don’t like it, I can’t help it.”
“……I don’t hate it.”
Renato dropped his head, feeling the tears that barely stopped welling up again. His pale hand fiddled with the pocket watch. Although it had been a while, it felt so familiar. It was natural, as it was always close to him over the past few years.
“Thank you. For entrusting me with something so precious……”
Eventually, Renato accepted the pocket watch. He could no longer refuse Khalid.
“Will you accept it?”
“Yes, as your highness said, I will keep it and return it to you when the contract is over.”
Definitely this time. Renato resolutely looked at Khalid, clutching the watch with both hands. He vowed never to repeat what had happened in his previous life.
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“……Okay.”
Khalid briefly froze when Renato said he would give it back when the contract was over, but soon nodded with a bitter smile. Then, he muttered.
“And…… I have one suggestion for you, Your Imperial Highness.”
“Please tell me.”
“It’s been quite some time since we got engaged, and we will be officially getting married after returning to the Empire. So why don’t we call each other by name now?”
“……Pardon?”
The round pale purple eyes grandly swayed at his unexpected suggestion. Thump, his heart fiercely pounded, his old memories rushing back again.
“By name?”
“Yes, I think it’d be better because we are going to be married soon. And we can show others that we have a good relationship too?”
Khalid twitched one eye in embarrassment. The names of those with noble blood are treated specially. Therefore, it was only possible for imperial or royal family members to allow someone to call their names when they were very close, such as lovers or friends.
Although they were about to get married, he and Renato had a contractual relationship. It might be better not to call each other’s names for later. Couples in political marriages, not love marriages, also often kept their formality till the end even if they became close.
But Khalid didn’t want to distance himself from Renato like that. Even if their relationship had a fixed end, he didn’t want to be conscious of the future not yet come and turn away from the present.
Above all, Renato said he would immediately accept if Khalid asked for divorce three years later, but added that he would also agree if Khalid wanted him to live as his companion after that. That meant the two might continue to be together after three years according to Khalid’s wish.
Renato had given him the right to decide the outcome of their marriage, but Khalid actually intended to follow Renato’s choice. Their union was originally proposed by Renato, so it was right that he concluded it as well. Still, Khalid wanted to leave many possibilities open. Truthfully, right now, he wanted to……
Khalid closed and reopened his eyes to stop the gradually deepening thoughts. Whenever he thought about Renato lately, his emotions kept becoming stranger. The feelings, indescribable in words and both thrilling and fearful, filled his heart.
“I want to get closer to Your Imperial Highness…… What do you think?”
Suppressing the chaotic sentiments just like a raging wave, Khalid met Renato’s gaze. Calling each other by name was a matter that required agreement between the two. So he earnestly asked for permission with a more serious face than ever.
“……Your Imperial Highness?”
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Seeing Renato’s eyes wet with tears, Khalid called him in a bewildered voice.
“What’s wrong?”
Astonished, Khalid reached out and covered Renato’s cheek. At that moment, a few drops of water dripped down from the slightly drooping eye corner. When the flowing tears wetted the back of his hand, Khalid grandly flinched. The hot water seeped into his skin, making his heart sink.
“I’m, I’m sorry.”
Renato twisted his eye corners and bowed his head. He pursed his trembling lips and held back his tears. However, the tears that had already burst could hardly stop.
“Why am I like this……”
Renato wiped the continuously flowing tears with his hands and rubbed his eye corners. He didn’t want to cause a scene in front of Khalid.
“Please don’t rub like that, it will hurt.”
Belatedly coming to his senses, Khalid hurriedly stopped Renato. Holding the slender wrists and forcibly taking them off, he checked the red-hot eyes soaked in tears and frowned. Renato’s crying was what Khalid didn’t want to see the most.
“Please don’t hold it in and just cry.”
“But, huff.”
Despite Khalid’s words, Renato struggled to swallow the crying sounds leaking from his teeth. His vision was blurry as if drowned in water, so he couldn’t see Khalid’s face clearly, but he could guess what kind of expression the man was having. So he didn’t want to cry anymore.
“I didn’t mean to…… I’m, sorry.”
Barely suppressing his sobs, Renato stammered an apology. Meanwhile, his tears continued to flow.
“It’s alright.”
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Khalid gently pulled Renato, who was still shedding tears, into his arms. He couldn’t understand just what was going on, but he had to comfort Renato first.
“If you force yourself to endure it, you will get sick…… So please just cry to your heart’s content if you want to.”
“Hic.”
When Khalid permitted, the cries that just barely stopped flowed out. Held in the man’s arms, Renato sobbed like a child. With the arms silently embracing him without asking anything and the tender hand gently patting his back, countless known and unknown emotions he had held in his heart while living with Khalid poured out.
Feeling his sleeping gown dripping wet, Khalid clenched his teeth. This wasn’t the first time he had seen Renato cry, but today, he felt so anxious that it was hard to breathe. He patted the intermittently trembling back, transmitting warmth without a word. Because he knew this would be the most effective way to soothe Renato when he cried after several sessions of hypnosis treatments.
“……Have you calmed down?”
After a while, feeling Renato’s crying subsided, Khalid quietly asked. Then, a teary voice came back, saying ‘Yes’.
“I’m sorry for showing this unseemly sight…… I got emotional all of a sudden……”
Renato slightly leaned back, mumbling an apology. How absurd must he have been to cry out of nowhere while saying he couldn’t accept the watch as a wedding gift? He didn’t know how to explain this to Khalid.
“It can happen. Would you like to sit down for now?”
Khalid was not angry with Renato. Rather, he lightly stroked his hair to say it was okay, and led Renato, exhausted from crying, to the bed.
“Do you want some water?”
Placing Renato on the bed, Khalid handed him the water on the side table. Then, on second thought, he directly brought the glass of water to Renato’s lips.
“Please drink slowly.”
“I can drink……”
“Your hands are trembling. You will get all wet if you drop the glass, so come on, that’s right.”
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When Renato drank the water he had given, Khalid smiled to compliment him for having done a good job. Putting the glass of water down on the side table, he knelt in front of Renato and paused to choose his words. There was a pile of things that he wanted to ask Renato, but he hesitated out of fear that Renato would cry again if he said something wrong.
“I think I put a burden on you. I wanted to give you something corresponding to the wedding gift you gave me…… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to force you.”
“No, your highness never forced me. It’s just my problem because I’m weird!”
Renato raised his voice to refute. He didn’t want Khalid to make needless apologies because of his own problems. However, he couldn’t honestly say the reason was that he remembered his previous life.
“It’s not that I don’t want to receive the watch, but I don’t think I should……”
“May I ask why you think so?”
Khalid hesitantly asked. He tried to guess why Renato cried a while ago. And he concluded that it was because of Renato’s secret. So he tried not to ask, but it was hard to endure today.
“I, I just felt so. The watch might break because of me.”
Moving his lips with a face not knowing what to say, Renato opened his mouth with difficulty.
“Why?”
“……I’m sorry, it’s hard to explain. Anyway, this watch is precious to you, your highness. I thought I shouldn’t have it. It shouldn’t be broken because of me.”
“Hmm.”
Khalid hummed in a low tone at Renato’s vague explanation. He felt just like facing an unsolved riddle. Contemplating whether to ask more or to move on like usual, he quickly picked out the only parts he could understand from Renato’s words.
“So you mean you won’t receive the watch for fear that it might break?”
“……Yes.”
“If that’s the case, it’s fine. Please don’t worry, you can take it.”
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“Is it fine?”
“My mother left this watch to protect me from external dangers because I’d be alone after she passed away. If the watch breaks, that means it has played its role as an artifact.”
Finishing talking, Khalid placed the pocket watch in Renato’s hand. As he talked, he thought he should definitely give it to Renato.
Variables always exist.
No matter how well prepared he was to protect Renato, he couldn’t control everything. Since unforeseen accidents must be kept in mind, Khalid wanted this watch to protect Renato on occasions when he couldn’t help him.
“If the watch breaks while protecting Your Imperial Highness, I’ll actually feel proud and rewarded. I’m sure my mother who left me the watch will be delighted as well. Didn’t Your Imperial Highness also give me the sword ornament with that in mind?”
“Yes, but……”
“So please accept it without the need to feel burdened. But if you really don’t like it, I can’t help it.”
“……I don’t hate it.”
Renato dropped his head, feeling the tears that barely stopped welling up again. His pale hand fiddled with the pocket watch. Although it had been a while, it felt so familiar. It was natural, as it was always close to him over the past few years.
“Thank you. For entrusting me with something so precious……”
Eventually, Renato accepted the pocket watch. He could no longer refuse Khalid.
“Will you accept it?”
“Yes, as your highness said, I will keep it and return it to you when the contract is over.”
Definitely this time. Renato resolutely looked at Khalid, clutching the watch with both hands. He vowed never to repeat what had happened in his previous life.
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“……Okay.”
Khalid briefly froze when Renato said he would give it back when the contract was over, but soon nodded with a bitter smile. Then, he muttered.
“And…… I have one suggestion for you, Your Imperial Highness.”
“Please tell me.”
“It’s been quite some time since we got engaged, and we will be officially getting married after returning to the Empire. So why don’t we call each other by name now?”
“……Pardon?”
The round pale purple eyes grandly swayed at his unexpected suggestion. Thump, his heart fiercely pounded, his old memories rushing back again.
“By name?”
“Yes, I think it’d be better because we are going to be married soon. And we can show others that we have a good relationship too?”
Khalid twitched one eye in embarrassment. The names of those with noble blood are treated specially. Therefore, it was only possible for imperial or royal family members to allow someone to call their names when they were very close, such as lovers or friends.
Although they were about to get married, he and Renato had a contractual relationship. It might be better not to call each other’s names for later. Couples in political marriages, not love marriages, also often kept their formality till the end even if they became close.
But Khalid didn’t want to distance himself from Renato like that. Even if their relationship had a fixed end, he didn’t want to be conscious of the future not yet come and turn away from the present.
Above all, Renato said he would immediately accept if Khalid asked for divorce three years later, but added that he would also agree if Khalid wanted him to live as his companion after that. That meant the two might continue to be together after three years according to Khalid’s wish.
Renato had given him the right to decide the outcome of their marriage, but Khalid actually intended to follow Renato’s choice. Their union was originally proposed by Renato, so it was right that he concluded it as well. Still, Khalid wanted to leave many possibilities open. Truthfully, right now, he wanted to……
Khalid closed and reopened his eyes to stop the gradually deepening thoughts. Whenever he thought about Renato lately, his emotions kept becoming stranger. The feelings, indescribable in words and both thrilling and fearful, filled his heart.
“I want to get closer to Your Imperial Highness…… What do you think?”
Suppressing the chaotic sentiments just like a raging wave, Khalid met Renato’s gaze. Calling each other by name was a matter that required agreement between the two. So he earnestly asked for permission with a more serious face than ever.
