Should I ask to use a separate bedroom starting today?
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Coming up with a nonsensical solution, Renato dropped his face on the desk. If he suddenly wanted to use a separate room although they had been doing well so far without any problems, Khalid would surely ask why. How would he respond to that? ‘Because I have realized that I love you?’
“I can’t tell him……”
Renato buried his face deep in his arms, murmuring in melancholy. He didn’t have the confidence to explain to Khalid, and he didn’t want to sleep separately from the man in the first place. It was one’s natural instinct to want to be with the person he liked, even if he was distressed from not getting enough sleep.
What should I do from now on?
At a loss, Renato only sighed deeply. After realizing his feelings for Khalid, he wandered like a lost person for days, not knowing what to do.
Of course, he did not dare to confess to Khalid. Just accepting his feelings now overwhelmed him. His whole body reacted and he could only hold onto his mind whenever he was with Khalid, so he didn’t have the courage to confess.
Even if he confessed, what should he say? He offered a contractual marriage that would result in divorce in three years, but now that he had come to like Khalid, he wanted the man to stay with him even after the promised period had passed? It was too brazen and shameless in Renato’s thoughts.
Even if he successfully confessed, the problem would be after that. What if Khalid rejected him? Renato was not confident he could endure his rejection.
Of course, if he mustered up his courage to confess, Khalid would probably listen and ponder more seriously than ever. But accepting his feelings was a different matter.
There is a difference between liking and loving someone deeply.
Renato didn’t know the difference just a few days ago, but now he knew well. So that also made him more afraid. The Khalid he knew was more affectionate and warm-hearted than anyone else, but he was never someone who would accept a confession based solely on affection or fondness.
So Renato didn’t have the courage to tell Khalid. For him, ‘the person I like also likes me’ was only possible if a miracle happened, and Renato didn’t expect such luck to come to him.
More accustomed to being hated than loved, Renato had a habit of always assuming the worst rather than the best. It was a defense mechanism he had built up after being neglected since his childhood. Because if he didn’t expect anything, he wouldn’t be disappointed or hurt.
For that reason, Renato did not dare to think that Khalid had the same feelings as him. He didn’t realize it himself, but he was obviously terrified. It was the first time in his previous and present life that he had fallen in love with someone, so he was more cautious and afraid than usual.
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If I confess and get rejected, how will I see Khalid’s face in the future?
Like it or not, he had to live with Khalid as a married couple for three years. It might be different if the man accepted his confession, but if he refused, all the bonds he had built up laboriously so far could be destroyed. In that case, it would be much better to just keep their current relationship.
That was Renato’s conclusion. Rather than ruining things out of greed, he wanted to stay on good terms with Khalid just like now. So……
“I just have to put up with it, that’s it……”
Making up his mind, Renato raised his body and muttered to himself as if casting a spell. In order to live like this, he should never show his feelings to Khalid.
The problem was that he didn’t have the confidence to hide them till the end. Just lying in the same bed with Khalid made him unable to sleep as his heart raced, so how could he avoid being caught by the man? Truthfully, it was close to impossible.
I shouldn’t have said it was three years.
Renato belatedly regretted it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had made the wrong first step. But even if he went back a few months ago, he would still offer Khalid a contractual marriage. It was the best option back then. And he had never thought he would fall in love with Khalid.
If he hadn’t set the three-year limit, would he not have to worry about this now? At least they wouldn’t divorce, so he could have stayed with Khalid. No, if he just proposed without a contract in the first place……
“Huu.”
Renato shook his head, cutting off the ensuing idle thoughts and regrets. Then, he rubbed his eyes with his hand. He hadn’t slept well, so his eyes felt itchy.
After sweeping his face, he half buried himself in the chair and closed his eyes. As he deeply inhaled and exhaled, his nausea subsided little by little.
“Haam……”
Renato softly yawned with his eyes closed. The fatigue accumulated over the past few days rushed over as soon as he relaxed. He inadvertently fell into a shallow sleep.
……to, Renato.
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How many minutes had he fallen asleep like that? His sunken consciousness slowly woke up again because of a voice permeating his ears. Feeling a hand touch his hair, Renato tossed and turned. Then, a soft laugh fell on the crown of his head.
Who?
Renato’s eyelids twitched at the familiar laugh. He wanted to open his eyes to confirm the other person, but his eyelids were too heavy. His body was also limp like cotton soaked in water.
“Agh……”
Renato furrowed his brows in irritation when his body could not move as he wanted. Then, blunt and firm fingertips gently rubbed his furrowed skin.
“You should wake up now.”
“Uhm.”
In response to the voice and touch waking him up, Renato softly groaned. Soon, his eyelids opened, revealing sleepy pale purple eyes. Renato blankly looked at the person waking him up. His vision was blurry and the silhouette was dim, but he could recognize who that was at a glance.
“Kha, lid?”
“Have you woken up?”
Khalid softly smiled when Renato called him in a sleepy voice. Then he straightened the fallen bangs. The hand that tucked Renato’s silvery hair behind his ears caressed the under-eye which was darker than usual.
“Ah.”
Completely awake when the man’s hand stroked his slightly heated eye rims, Renato jumped up and staggered in dizziness.
“Are you okay?”
Seeing Renato momentarily stagger and unable to steady himself, Khalid hurriedly grabbed his arm. Then, he looked at Renato’s face with eyes full of concern.
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“I guess I woke you up for nothing. You were sleeping uncomfortably at the desk……”
“No, uhm, did you come because we have to go meet Her Majesty the Queen Consort?”
Renato took a short breath and straightened himself with an expression saying he was alright. But contrary to his calm appearance, his heart was terribly pounding. It wasn’t good for his heart to see Khalid’s face as soon as he opened his eyes. He pursed his lips, hoping that his palpitations would quickly subside.
“We still have some time left before the appointment. Please sit down.”
Khaled placed Renato back in the chair and reached out his hand to him. Renato’s body stiffened as the large, cool hand touched his forehead.
“I think you have a fever……”
“I, I’m okay. It’s because I just woke up.”
“Do you have a sore throat or chills?”
“Not at all.”
“Hmm, please wait a bit.”
Seemingly troubled by Renato’s answer, Khalid murmured, then turned away and disappeared from the bedroom. Then, he soon returned with a tray carrying a teacup with white steam over it.
“Because you have a slight fever and your voice seems to be a bit hoarse…… Please drink this.”
“This is?”
Suddenly receiving a teacup, Renato blinked his eyes at the floating lemon slices. A sweet and sour scent spread along with the rising steam.
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“It’s good to drink when you have a cold. It’s also effective in relieving fatigue.”
Renato pressed his lips as he listened to Khalid’s voice explaining the effects of the lemon tea. He didn’t know what to do when feeling the man’s tenderness like this. He had no idea how he used to behave before.
“Thank you.”
“It’s hot, so please drink slowly so as not to burn your tongue.”
“Yes……”
Renato slightly nodded at Khalid’s request, carefully bringing the teacup to his lips.
“Are you very tired? You have a very bad complexion…… Should I send someone to the Queen Consort’s Palace to postpone or cancel the appointment?”
Looking at Renato sipping lemon tea, Khalid opened his mouth. Although Khalid pretended not to know because it seemed Renato didn’t want to make it obvious, he knew Renato had been losing sleep for days. The reason why he didn’t seem well now was probably because of fatigue.
“I’m okay. I just feel a bit dizzy after waking up.”
Renato put down the half-empty teacup, dissuading Khalid as he was about to immediately send someone to the Queen Consort’s Palace. They were supposed to visit Laila today.
“Her Majesty will be waiting for us……”
“She will understand if we say you are sick.”
“I’m a little tired, but I’m not sick. And today is the only day we can meet Her Majesty and his highness the royal prince. We have to leave the kingdom the day after tomorrow…… So I want to meet them at least once before that.”
It was Renato’s first meeting with Laila after she gave birth. After being saved thanks to the Fairy’s Tears, Laila came to her senses and kept wanting to meet them. However, their meeting had already been postponed twice because the palace doctor opposed it, saying she should regain stability.
Then this morning, an appointment was made in a hurry. As the meeting could not be delayed any longer, the palace doctor permitted that it would be okay for a short time.
Should I ask to use a separate bedroom starting today?
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Coming up with a nonsensical solution, Renato dropped his face on the desk. If he suddenly wanted to use a separate room although they had been doing well so far without any problems, Khalid would surely ask why. How would he respond to that? ‘Because I have realized that I love you?’
“I can’t tell him……”
Renato buried his face deep in his arms, murmuring in melancholy. He didn’t have the confidence to explain to Khalid, and he didn’t want to sleep separately from the man in the first place. It was one’s natural instinct to want to be with the person he liked, even if he was distressed from not getting enough sleep.
What should I do from now on?
At a loss, Renato only sighed deeply. After realizing his feelings for Khalid, he wandered like a lost person for days, not knowing what to do.
Of course, he did not dare to confess to Khalid. Just accepting his feelings now overwhelmed him. His whole body reacted and he could only hold onto his mind whenever he was with Khalid, so he didn’t have the courage to confess.
Even if he confessed, what should he say? He offered a contractual marriage that would result in divorce in three years, but now that he had come to like Khalid, he wanted the man to stay with him even after the promised period had passed? It was too brazen and shameless in Renato’s thoughts.
Even if he successfully confessed, the problem would be after that. What if Khalid rejected him? Renato was not confident he could endure his rejection.
Of course, if he mustered up his courage to confess, Khalid would probably listen and ponder more seriously than ever. But accepting his feelings was a different matter.
There is a difference between liking and loving someone deeply.
Renato didn’t know the difference just a few days ago, but now he knew well. So that also made him more afraid. The Khalid he knew was more affectionate and warm-hearted than anyone else, but he was never someone who would accept a confession based solely on affection or fondness.
So Renato didn’t have the courage to tell Khalid. For him, ‘the person I like also likes me’ was only possible if a miracle happened, and Renato didn’t expect such luck to come to him.
More accustomed to being hated than loved, Renato had a habit of always assuming the worst rather than the best. It was a defense mechanism he had built up after being neglected since his childhood. Because if he didn’t expect anything, he wouldn’t be disappointed or hurt.
For that reason, Renato did not dare to think that Khalid had the same feelings as him. He didn’t realize it himself, but he was obviously terrified. It was the first time in his previous and present life that he had fallen in love with someone, so he was more cautious and afraid than usual.
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If I confess and get rejected, how will I see Khalid’s face in the future?
Like it or not, he had to live with Khalid as a married couple for three years. It might be different if the man accepted his confession, but if he refused, all the bonds he had built up laboriously so far could be destroyed. In that case, it would be much better to just keep their current relationship.
That was Renato’s conclusion. Rather than ruining things out of greed, he wanted to stay on good terms with Khalid just like now. So……
“I just have to put up with it, that’s it……”
Making up his mind, Renato raised his body and muttered to himself as if casting a spell. In order to live like this, he should never show his feelings to Khalid.
The problem was that he didn’t have the confidence to hide them till the end. Just lying in the same bed with Khalid made him unable to sleep as his heart raced, so how could he avoid being caught by the man? Truthfully, it was close to impossible.
I shouldn’t have said it was three years.
Renato belatedly regretted it. The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had made the wrong first step. But even if he went back a few months ago, he would still offer Khalid a contractual marriage. It was the best option back then. And he had never thought he would fall in love with Khalid.
If he hadn’t set the three-year limit, would he not have to worry about this now? At least they wouldn’t divorce, so he could have stayed with Khalid. No, if he just proposed without a contract in the first place……
“Huu.”
Renato shook his head, cutting off the ensuing idle thoughts and regrets. Then, he rubbed his eyes with his hand. He hadn’t slept well, so his eyes felt itchy.
After sweeping his face, he half buried himself in the chair and closed his eyes. As he deeply inhaled and exhaled, his nausea subsided little by little.
“Haam……”
Renato softly yawned with his eyes closed. The fatigue accumulated over the past few days rushed over as soon as he relaxed. He inadvertently fell into a shallow sleep.
……to, Renato.
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How many minutes had he fallen asleep like that? His sunken consciousness slowly woke up again because of a voice permeating his ears. Feeling a hand touch his hair, Renato tossed and turned. Then, a soft laugh fell on the crown of his head.
Who?
Renato’s eyelids twitched at the familiar laugh. He wanted to open his eyes to confirm the other person, but his eyelids were too heavy. His body was also limp like cotton soaked in water.
“Agh……”
Renato furrowed his brows in irritation when his body could not move as he wanted. Then, blunt and firm fingertips gently rubbed his furrowed skin.
“You should wake up now.”
“Uhm.”
In response to the voice and touch waking him up, Renato softly groaned. Soon, his eyelids opened, revealing sleepy pale purple eyes. Renato blankly looked at the person waking him up. His vision was blurry and the silhouette was dim, but he could recognize who that was at a glance.
“Kha, lid?”
“Have you woken up?”
Khalid softly smiled when Renato called him in a sleepy voice. Then he straightened the fallen bangs. The hand that tucked Renato’s silvery hair behind his ears caressed the under-eye which was darker than usual.
“Ah.”
Completely awake when the man’s hand stroked his slightly heated eye rims, Renato jumped up and staggered in dizziness.
“Are you okay?”
Seeing Renato momentarily stagger and unable to steady himself, Khalid hurriedly grabbed his arm. Then, he looked at Renato’s face with eyes full of concern.
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“I guess I woke you up for nothing. You were sleeping uncomfortably at the desk……”
“No, uhm, did you come because we have to go meet Her Majesty the Queen Consort?”
Renato took a short breath and straightened himself with an expression saying he was alright. But contrary to his calm appearance, his heart was terribly pounding. It wasn’t good for his heart to see Khalid’s face as soon as he opened his eyes. He pursed his lips, hoping that his palpitations would quickly subside.
“We still have some time left before the appointment. Please sit down.”
Khaled placed Renato back in the chair and reached out his hand to him. Renato’s body stiffened as the large, cool hand touched his forehead.
“I think you have a fever……”
“I, I’m okay. It’s because I just woke up.”
“Do you have a sore throat or chills?”
“Not at all.”
“Hmm, please wait a bit.”
Seemingly troubled by Renato’s answer, Khalid murmured, then turned away and disappeared from the bedroom. Then, he soon returned with a tray carrying a teacup with white steam over it.
“Because you have a slight fever and your voice seems to be a bit hoarse…… Please drink this.”
“This is?”
Suddenly receiving a teacup, Renato blinked his eyes at the floating lemon slices. A sweet and sour scent spread along with the rising steam.
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“It’s good to drink when you have a cold. It’s also effective in relieving fatigue.”
Renato pressed his lips as he listened to Khalid’s voice explaining the effects of the lemon tea. He didn’t know what to do when feeling the man’s tenderness like this. He had no idea how he used to behave before.
“Thank you.”
“It’s hot, so please drink slowly so as not to burn your tongue.”
“Yes……”
Renato slightly nodded at Khalid’s request, carefully bringing the teacup to his lips.
“Are you very tired? You have a very bad complexion…… Should I send someone to the Queen Consort’s Palace to postpone or cancel the appointment?”
Looking at Renato sipping lemon tea, Khalid opened his mouth. Although Khalid pretended not to know because it seemed Renato didn’t want to make it obvious, he knew Renato had been losing sleep for days. The reason why he didn’t seem well now was probably because of fatigue.
“I’m okay. I just feel a bit dizzy after waking up.”
Renato put down the half-empty teacup, dissuading Khalid as he was about to immediately send someone to the Queen Consort’s Palace. They were supposed to visit Laila today.
“Her Majesty will be waiting for us……”
“She will understand if we say you are sick.”
“I’m a little tired, but I’m not sick. And today is the only day we can meet Her Majesty and his highness the royal prince. We have to leave the kingdom the day after tomorrow…… So I want to meet them at least once before that.”
It was Renato’s first meeting with Laila after she gave birth. After being saved thanks to the Fairy’s Tears, Laila came to her senses and kept wanting to meet them. However, their meeting had already been postponed twice because the palace doctor opposed it, saying she should regain stability.
Then this morning, an appointment was made in a hurry. As the meeting could not be delayed any longer, the palace doctor permitted that it would be okay for a short time.
