I Have A Husband
Translated by Wook
Edited by Wook
“Please be my husband.”
The last time she made a wish, as soon as she said it, the statue said that it had come true and told her to return.
“… …”
But for some reason, it was quiet this time.
“Try again.”
“Please be my husband.”
The statue could not make an expression, but somehow it was as if the statue was looking at her foolishly.
‘Sure enough. I can understand.’ Renier herself felt that her wish was so foolish and outrageous.
‘The best wish I came up with was ‘to be’ my husband. Did I not say that if I could go back to the moment when I made a wish again, I would make a wiser choice?’ Renier took a deep breath as she wanted to cry. A person can’t suddenly be wise just because time goes back.
Renier had been wrong back then, and was still wrong even now. ‘Is this life ruined too?’
“…if that is your wish.”
After a while, the statue opened its mouth and sighed.
“I will be your husband.”
Again silence flowed between the statue and Renier.
“Your wish has come true, but you don’t seem to be happy.”
“You just can’t feel it. I’m so happy and grateful that you are my husband.”
Renier thanked the statue at once, then soon realized her situation and burst into laughter. She asked the statue to be her husband when she already had a husband. Moreover, this husband is a statue.
A talking statue.
So, now, Renier has two husbands. One is a person who is having an affair, and the other is a statue, one that grants wishes and is able to talk. How can her luck in marriage be this rotten?
She didn’t know how time went back, but if it was going to go back, it would have been nice to go back to before she made a wish in the first place.
“Stand back,” The statue warned.
Aren’t warnings usually given when something is about to happen?
Whether human common sense is different from the common sense of the statue, before Renier could understand the words, the statue began to break.
“Ahhh, ahhhhh!”
The statue was split in half from the top of the head when Renier felt lost in the moment.
Kwang.
There was the sound of a blunt object hitting the floor, and pieces of marble and dust on the floor floated and landed.
Renier snorted and waved the dust in front of her face with her hands.
“… A, A person?”
“Why are you surprised? I can’t be your husband as a statue.”
In the place where the statue disappeared, a man who looked exactly like the statue was standing. The difference was that he had colors as he became a human.
Hair that seemed to be dyed in darkness, purple eyes that looked the same color as the hair at first glance, and the long, cool eyes. The man was beautiful.
She couldn’t describe him with anything other than those words. He was a man who looked as beautiful and dangerous as a sharpened sword. There was an overbearing and bizarre atmosphere that made one feel if he were to stretch out his hand, they would see blood on it.
“I, Veldemer, am your husband from this moment on.”
The man spoke in a low tone. It was a voice that couldn’t be disobeyed. Therefore, she didn’t have the courage to say the word ‘divorce’ out loud.
“Excuse me…”
The statue split open and a person came out of it. And that person will be my husband. Are you saying this isn’t really a dream?
Renier pinched the back of her hand. ‘It hurt. So, the man in front of me and this situation… This is not a dream.’ Renier blinked her eyes and looked up at the man.
In front of Renier’s eyes, the man’s splendid body unfolded. Naturally large-looking skeleton, well-formed abs, firm-looking thighs, and in between, a manly looking…
“…!”
‘He’s naked!’
Yes, he came out of the statue, so he must be naked. The statue was also naked, it would certainly be funny if the person who came out of it was wearing clothes.
Renier, who had unintentionally scanned his body, realized that, and her face turned red.
“What’s wrong?”
The man who introduced himself Veldemer took a step forward towards Renier. Seeing his naked body closer, Renier covered her face with both hands.
‘Otherwise, I might end up looking at him again. We all know it is not polite to look at other people naked.’
“T, That, you’re not wearing clothes.”
“Oh.”
Veldemer also looked down at his own body. He could see his naked body.
“You don’t have to turn your head. Now you are my wife,” Veldemer said while moving one step closer to Renier.
“You are free to watch as much as you want.”
“You’re not wrong, but…”
Although they were married in status, she had never met Veldemer. Would it be possible to lessen the intensity from the beginning like this?
“But even though you are my wife, I still have a condition.”
Renier turned her head halfway and asked, still covering her face with her palms.
“And what is that?”
“You can see as much as you want, but don’t touch my body.”
You can look, but you can’t touch? What kind of couple is that?
But this was a matter for another time. ‘First of all, we have to cover that naked body.’ Renier took off the robe she was wearing and handed it to Veldemer.
“Just put it on.”
Renier thought as she went down to the village. ‘This life is ruined.’
It would have been better if the second husband had been a statue, but now that he has become a man, he can talk and go anywhere on his own feet.
He even has the ability to grant wishes. How would he react if he found out that Renier already had a husband?
“Many women have tried to possess me.”
Veldemer, who had wrapped Renier’s robe around his waist, which barely covered his lower body, was drenched in old memories.
“There was a woman hiding in my room and came into my bed when I fell asleep. She even threatened me with a knife.”
It was a recollection full of self-love. A person with such narcissism would definitely be self-deprecating the moment he learned that Renier had made him her second husband.
Whatever he had done, Veldemer must have been trapped in the statue.
‘What the hell did he do to get himself trapped in the statue?’ Even without knowing his temperament, Renier was sure of this.
“But no one wanted to own me like you.”
‘Is that a compliment?’ Renier tilted his head.
“Since this has happened, I will be a good husband. This Veldemer cannot be just an ordinary husband.”
‘Should I thank you?’ Renier tilted his head again.
“But you can’t touch my body.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.”
‘He wants to be a good husband, but his body can’t be touched. Is this a pie in the sky kind of husband?’
[A pie in the sky is a Korean idiom used to describe something you really want, but cannot have for some reason.]
But that isn’t the point now. What to do with this pie right now, that is the problem.
Surely she can’t take it home at once. Because there is Edwin, her first husband.
She can’t even take him to the inn. He has an eye-catching appearance, and she, who brings Veldemer who is half-naked, will become a perfect subject of rumors.
“Where are you taking me?”
“I have an empty house.”
There was a place that came to her mind. It was a two-story house in the business sector. It was newly built and the location was good.
However, for some reason, rumors that a ghost is living there for three years ago have not gone out, so it has been empty until now.
If the place is empty, it will not cause any trouble to use it right away.
“Am I not going to where you live?”
“Ah, that’s because I live in the accommodation provided by someone. You must be uncomfortable there.”
“Are you working?”
Renier nodded her head. She didn’t want to lie to him like this, but she had no choice but to hide the fact that she is already married.
“I work in managing the property owned by a merchant.”
Renier pondered for a moment whether or not to inform him of the rumors that there were ghosts in the house.
‘But what if he said he is afraid of ghosts and decided to go somewhere else?’
‘Then there will be no solution.’ She decided to keep her mouth shut about it.
“So we have to go into town.”
Renier looked at Veldemer with a faint expression. His lower body was barely covered with the robe she had given him, but his upper body and below his knees were still bare.
Even at night, the village is not as dark as a forest. If they go there, people will definitely notice it.
“We can’t go into town like this.”
Renier took out the dagger she always carried from the small bag she was carrying. Then she began to tear off the thread that sewn the top of her dress and her skirt.
“What are you doing now?”
Veldemer looked at Renier who was tearing off her skirt with a puzzled look.
“On the way back, wear this like a cloak. I’ve got an underskirt, so I’ll be fine,” said Renier, who had torn off the stitching on the front, and handed the dagger to Veldemer.
“Could you do the back?”
He meekly took the dagger and stood behind Renier.
“There’s also another way: I wait here while you go to the village and get some clothes. But now that you’ve ripped it, let’s rip it off all the way.”
“Ah, right, there’s that way…”
‘It would’ve been great if you had told me that before I ripped it…’
“It’s done.”
Renier took off her baggy skirt and handed it to Beldemer. He sighed, pulled the skirt over and draped it over his shoulder.
It looked ridiculous, but from a distance, it would look like he was wearing a puffy outfit.
Renier smiled awkwardly as she looked at Veldemer, who was frowning.
“Then shall we go?”
***
It was midnight. The village was asleep.
It was very fortunate for Renier, as there were few passersby, and most only saw them from a distance.
“We’re here.”
Renier opened the front door of the house and entered. Even with regular maintenance, the daily accumulation of dust was unavoidable.
“You’ll be tired after cleaning, so shall we take a look at the bedroom first?”
Renier, speaking like a realtor, took Veldemer upstairs to the bedroom. She opened the window and pulled out the cloth covering the entire bed, and found that it was sufficient for the night.
“There’s no dust on the bed.”
Outside the window, it was dusk. Renier’s work had just started.
“Get some rest, I’ll get you some clothes.
“Okay, then.”
Renier closed the window again and left the room. Renier went down the stairs, and as he faintly heard the door opening and closing, Veldemer removed the rags that covered him.
Veldemer, who uncovered his lower body again, took a deep breath. ‘How long has it been since I tasted this freedom?’
His senses, which had been lost while being sealed in the statue, returned one by one.
“Haa…”
The coolness felt on the skin, the air passing through the tip of the nose and the smell of dust entering deep into the lungs.
“I need to start cleaning.”
Veldemer did not clean himself. By now, his faithful servant would be running, knowing he had woken up.
However, no matter how fast the servant was, it would take time for them to come. Unable to stand the dust, Veldemer decided to clear his surroundings.
“… …”
Veldemer’s cleaning tools were magic. His power is a gift and a curse from heaven. Magic was his weapon, but it was also the sword that stabbed him.
And after countless nights passed, it would now be his broomstick.
“… What’s this?”
I Have A Husband
Translated by Wook
Edited by Wook
“Please be my husband.”
The last time she made a wish, as soon as she said it, the statue said that it had come true and told her to return.
“… …”
But for some reason, it was quiet this time.
“Try again.”
“Please be my husband.”
The statue could not make an expression, but somehow it was as if the statue was looking at her foolishly.
‘Sure enough. I can understand.’ Renier herself felt that her wish was so foolish and outrageous.
‘The best wish I came up with was ‘to be’ my husband. Did I not say that if I could go back to the moment when I made a wish again, I would make a wiser choice?’ Renier took a deep breath as she wanted to cry. A person can’t suddenly be wise just because time goes back.
Renier had been wrong back then, and was still wrong even now. ‘Is this life ruined too?’
“…if that is your wish.”
After a while, the statue opened its mouth and sighed.
“I will be your husband.”
Again silence flowed between the statue and Renier.
“Your wish has come true, but you don’t seem to be happy.”
“You just can’t feel it. I’m so happy and grateful that you are my husband.”
Renier thanked the statue at once, then soon realized her situation and burst into laughter. She asked the statue to be her husband when she already had a husband. Moreover, this husband is a statue.
A talking statue.
So, now, Renier has two husbands. One is a person who is having an affair, and the other is a statue, one that grants wishes and is able to talk. How can her luck in marriage be this rotten?
She didn’t know how time went back, but if it was going to go back, it would have been nice to go back to before she made a wish in the first place.
“Stand back,” The statue warned.
Aren’t warnings usually given when something is about to happen?
Whether human common sense is different from the common sense of the statue, before Renier could understand the words, the statue began to break.
“Ahhh, ahhhhh!”
The statue was split in half from the top of the head when Renier felt lost in the moment.
Kwang.
There was the sound of a blunt object hitting the floor, and pieces of marble and dust on the floor floated and landed.
Renier snorted and waved the dust in front of her face with her hands.
“… A, A person?”
“Why are you surprised? I can’t be your husband as a statue.”
In the place where the statue disappeared, a man who looked exactly like the statue was standing. The difference was that he had colors as he became a human.
Hair that seemed to be dyed in darkness, purple eyes that looked the same color as the hair at first glance, and the long, cool eyes. The man was beautiful.
She couldn’t describe him with anything other than those words. He was a man who looked as beautiful and dangerous as a sharpened sword. There was an overbearing and bizarre atmosphere that made one feel if he were to stretch out his hand, they would see blood on it.
“I, Veldemer, am your husband from this moment on.”
The man spoke in a low tone. It was a voice that couldn’t be disobeyed. Therefore, she didn’t have the courage to say the word ‘divorce’ out loud.
“Excuse me…”
The statue split open and a person came out of it. And that person will be my husband. Are you saying this isn’t really a dream?
Renier pinched the back of her hand. ‘It hurt. So, the man in front of me and this situation… This is not a dream.’ Renier blinked her eyes and looked up at the man.
In front of Renier’s eyes, the man’s splendid body unfolded. Naturally large-looking skeleton, well-formed abs, firm-looking thighs, and in between, a manly looking…
“…!”
‘He’s naked!’
Yes, he came out of the statue, so he must be naked. The statue was also naked, it would certainly be funny if the person who came out of it was wearing clothes.
Renier, who had unintentionally scanned his body, realized that, and her face turned red.
“What’s wrong?”
The man who introduced himself Veldemer took a step forward towards Renier. Seeing his naked body closer, Renier covered her face with both hands.
‘Otherwise, I might end up looking at him again. We all know it is not polite to look at other people naked.’
“T, That, you’re not wearing clothes.”
“Oh.”
Veldemer also looked down at his own body. He could see his naked body.
“You don’t have to turn your head. Now you are my wife,” Veldemer said while moving one step closer to Renier.
“You are free to watch as much as you want.”
“You’re not wrong, but…”
Although they were married in status, she had never met Veldemer. Would it be possible to lessen the intensity from the beginning like this?
“But even though you are my wife, I still have a condition.”
Renier turned her head halfway and asked, still covering her face with her palms.
“And what is that?”
“You can see as much as you want, but don’t touch my body.”
You can look, but you can’t touch? What kind of couple is that?
But this was a matter for another time. ‘First of all, we have to cover that naked body.’ Renier took off the robe she was wearing and handed it to Veldemer.
“Just put it on.”
Renier thought as she went down to the village. ‘This life is ruined.’
It would have been better if the second husband had been a statue, but now that he has become a man, he can talk and go anywhere on his own feet.
He even has the ability to grant wishes. How would he react if he found out that Renier already had a husband?
“Many women have tried to possess me.”
Veldemer, who had wrapped Renier’s robe around his waist, which barely covered his lower body, was drenched in old memories.
“There was a woman hiding in my room and came into my bed when I fell asleep. She even threatened me with a knife.”
It was a recollection full of self-love. A person with such narcissism would definitely be self-deprecating the moment he learned that Renier had made him her second husband.
Whatever he had done, Veldemer must have been trapped in the statue.
‘What the hell did he do to get himself trapped in the statue?’ Even without knowing his temperament, Renier was sure of this.
“But no one wanted to own me like you.”
‘Is that a compliment?’ Renier tilted his head.
“Since this has happened, I will be a good husband. This Veldemer cannot be just an ordinary husband.”
‘Should I thank you?’ Renier tilted his head again.
“But you can’t touch my body.”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep that in mind.”
‘He wants to be a good husband, but his body can’t be touched. Is this a pie in the sky kind of husband?’
[A pie in the sky is a Korean idiom used to describe something you really want, but cannot have for some reason.]
But that isn’t the point now. What to do with this pie right now, that is the problem.
Surely she can’t take it home at once. Because there is Edwin, her first husband.
She can’t even take him to the inn. He has an eye-catching appearance, and she, who brings Veldemer who is half-naked, will become a perfect subject of rumors.
“Where are you taking me?”
“I have an empty house.”
There was a place that came to her mind. It was a two-story house in the business sector. It was newly built and the location was good.
However, for some reason, rumors that a ghost is living there for three years ago have not gone out, so it has been empty until now.
If the place is empty, it will not cause any trouble to use it right away.
“Am I not going to where you live?”
“Ah, that’s because I live in the accommodation provided by someone. You must be uncomfortable there.”
“Are you working?”
Renier nodded her head. She didn’t want to lie to him like this, but she had no choice but to hide the fact that she is already married.
“I work in managing the property owned by a merchant.”
Renier pondered for a moment whether or not to inform him of the rumors that there were ghosts in the house.
‘But what if he said he is afraid of ghosts and decided to go somewhere else?’
‘Then there will be no solution.’ She decided to keep her mouth shut about it.
“So we have to go into town.”
Renier looked at Veldemer with a faint expression. His lower body was barely covered with the robe she had given him, but his upper body and below his knees were still bare.
Even at night, the village is not as dark as a forest. If they go there, people will definitely notice it.
“We can’t go into town like this.”
Renier took out the dagger she always carried from the small bag she was carrying. Then she began to tear off the thread that sewn the top of her dress and her skirt.
“What are you doing now?”
Veldemer looked at Renier who was tearing off her skirt with a puzzled look.
“On the way back, wear this like a cloak. I’ve got an underskirt, so I’ll be fine,” said Renier, who had torn off the stitching on the front, and handed the dagger to Veldemer.
“Could you do the back?”
He meekly took the dagger and stood behind Renier.
“There’s also another way: I wait here while you go to the village and get some clothes. But now that you’ve ripped it, let’s rip it off all the way.”
“Ah, right, there’s that way…”
‘It would’ve been great if you had told me that before I ripped it…’
“It’s done.”
Renier took off her baggy skirt and handed it to Beldemer. He sighed, pulled the skirt over and draped it over his shoulder.
It looked ridiculous, but from a distance, it would look like he was wearing a puffy outfit.
Renier smiled awkwardly as she looked at Veldemer, who was frowning.
“Then shall we go?”
***
It was midnight. The village was asleep.
It was very fortunate for Renier, as there were few passersby, and most only saw them from a distance.
“We’re here.”
Renier opened the front door of the house and entered. Even with regular maintenance, the daily accumulation of dust was unavoidable.
“You’ll be tired after cleaning, so shall we take a look at the bedroom first?”
Renier, speaking like a realtor, took Veldemer upstairs to the bedroom. She opened the window and pulled out the cloth covering the entire bed, and found that it was sufficient for the night.
“There’s no dust on the bed.”
Outside the window, it was dusk. Renier’s work had just started.
“Get some rest, I’ll get you some clothes.
“Okay, then.”
Renier closed the window again and left the room. Renier went down the stairs, and as he faintly heard the door opening and closing, Veldemer removed the rags that covered him.
Veldemer, who uncovered his lower body again, took a deep breath. ‘How long has it been since I tasted this freedom?’
His senses, which had been lost while being sealed in the statue, returned one by one.
“Haa…”
The coolness felt on the skin, the air passing through the tip of the nose and the smell of dust entering deep into the lungs.
“I need to start cleaning.”
Veldemer did not clean himself. By now, his faithful servant would be running, knowing he had woken up.
However, no matter how fast the servant was, it would take time for them to come. Unable to stand the dust, Veldemer decided to clear his surroundings.
“… …”
Veldemer’s cleaning tools were magic. His power is a gift and a curse from heaven. Magic was his weapon, but it was also the sword that stabbed him.
And after countless nights passed, it would now be his broomstick.
“… What’s this?”
