Author: Nikss
‘I know it’s someone else.’
When I heard that, I tried to tell him.
I was about to tell him that I had a crush on him and that we should get to know each other properly.
If only I hadn’t heard a noise behind me.
Rustle—
At the sudden sound, I turned around.
My eyes widened at the startling sound, ‘Rudrick?’
There he was, Rudrick. He was staring at us, his face as cold as ever, expressionless.
I felt a small twinge of embarrassment at the sight of him, for as soon as he appeared, certain thoughts came to mind.
‘How long has he been here?’
I asked, and it seemed that Lord River hadn’t noticed Rudrick’s arrival either.
After looking at Rudrick with the same bewildered gaze as I did, he soon regained his composure and addressed him.
“Lord Bouser, since when have you been there-“
“I was wondering where you were.”
He snapped, turning to face me, “Here you are.”
I cringed and stiffened under his cold gaze.
No, I just came here for the pure purpose of taking a walk by the lake with Lord River. Why do I feel so guilty?
When I stood there, looking at him like I was a pest. Rudrick glanced at me, then back at Lord River, and then spoke in a casual, unconcerned tone.
“The imperial court wanted to speak with you about a matter of scheduling once we arrive in the north.”
“Ah, yes. I’ve certainly lost track of time. I’ll be with you shortly, Dahlia…”
“No, now.”
Interrupting, Rudrick spoke in a strangely coercive tone.
“If you’re in such a hurry, why don’t you go first?”
‘Why don’t you go first?’ he said, but it sounded more like a command, ‘Go first.
Lord River’ he looked conflicted.
If Rudrick was right and the Imperials were looking for him, he should return quickly, but he was troubled by the idea of leaving me behind.
Seeing him at a loss, I quickly interjected, “I’m fine, so if you’re in a rush, you can go first.”
“But…”
“I’m not alone, and Rudrick’s there. I’m sure there are others.”
Honestly, I’m not disappointed, but it’s better than being caught between two people and getting busted in the center.
And now that I’d confirmed his feelings, we could always continue the conversation later, if there was time.
Lord River must have sensed my thoughts, because he soon nodded and bowed his head.
“If you’ll excuse me, then…”
And with that, he hurried away. I and Rudrick were left alone by the stream.
“…”
“…”
“…”
‘Ah… This is breathtaking…’
In the heavy silence that followed, I could only break out in a cold sweat.
At least when I was with Lord River, I felt calm as the frozen landscape was serene, but somehow being with Rudrick left me with a chill that made this place appear vicious.
And I knew why I felt this way.
And why I hadn’t been able to be as chatty as usual.
It was because I was nervous about how long Rudrick had been there.
‘How long has he really been there?’
That was pretty important to me. We hadn’t just had a casual conversation by the stream.
Lord River had made a deliberate move on me, Duke Goldman had stabbed me in the back.
I hoped that if anyone overheard, it would be misunderstood, and I hoped it would not be known, even if it was Rudrick.
But as usual, the heavens did not grant my wish.
“The Duke of Goldman stabbed you in the back?”
I screamed inwardly at Rudrick’s straightforwardness, but I couldn’t remain silent, so I answered quickly.
“Oh, no, that was Duke Goldman’s idea… But where did you hear about it?”
“Since Goldman asked how you knew.”
‘You heard it from the start!’
“If you’ve been listening from there, you should come out! What have you been doing in the dark?”
“Just getting a weird vibe. If he tried anything stupid, I’d slash him in the back.”
“Ah… I see.”
Now that I think about it, the atmosphere became tense when I realized that Lord River was pulling tricks on me.
At the time, I panicked and even felt a sense of crisis.
Considering how I felt at the time, I was relieved that Rudrick was there, but I was also creeped out by his comment that he would have cut him off even without acknowledgment if he was in a bad mood.
Thank goodness the mood quickly lightened. I almost saw blood right in front of me.
“Oh, nothing happened, I’m sure you heard it was a joke.”
“Yes, I did. Too bad.”
‘Too bad about what?’
I asked, trying to deflect the question.
“Anyway, it’s no big deal, Duke Goldman did it out of his impatience. He wasn’t trying to harm my reputation, he was just trying to make a connection with my family.”
“…”
“Lord River said he couldn’t help it at first, but then he refused, so it’s not relevant…”
“I don’t understand.”
I squinted at him.
“What makes you believe him so much?”
“What?”
“After all, he did approach you on purpose in the first place, didn’t he?”
Rudrick’s eyes were burning fiercely again, “Who would have thought that lying and saying how easy it was to approach you the first time would be a way to reassure you?”
“What are you talking about…”
“It’s reasonable suspicion. I think you’re the one who’s blind right now.”
My mouth dropped open in disbelief, “I’m the one who’s blind?”
“Yes. How long have you known Goldman now? Or did you two already know each other from the past?”
“…No, we met at the victory banquet.”
“So you’ve known him for less than half a year, so how can you be sure you can trust him? You don’t know what he’s thinking, even if you’ve been together for years?”
“…”
“You’re so complacent.”
“Then.”
After a moment’s pause, I finally blurted out, “You don’t believe it either, do you?”
“…What?”
I could see Rudrick’s eyes widen, but I didn’t stop talking.
“…”
“If you put it that way, I haven’t even known you for a year or so.”
“We were together for less than a year when we were younger, and then we exchanged a few letters and lost touch immediately, and I haven’t seen you in more than a decade.”
“…”
“As far as I’m concerned, he and you are equally strangers, and if I’m going to be suspicious of him, I suppose it’s fair to be equally suspicious of you?”
Rudrick kept his mouth tightly shut, not answering, but a hint of frustration seemed to leak out, and he sighed softly.
Why does he have to stand there like that?
Part of me wondered if I should be so shocked that the Duke of Goldman had arranged it, but another part of me felt bitter that it was his way of expressing his concern.
I took a deep breath, and then turned to him, my voice much calmer.
“I know what you’re worried about.”
“…”
“To be honest, I was scared earlier, too. I thought I’d been betrayed by someone I trusted. I guess I was relieved to hear that you were there, but…”
I said firmly, “Still, this is my business.”
“…”
“It’s a choice I made, a person I chose to trust, and I’ll take responsibility for it, and if I’m wrong…”
“…”
“I’m willing to accept it because I chose to believe.”
So don’t worry too much about me getting hurt.
Perhaps because my feelings were conveyed, he stared at me for a while and finally looked away.
“…Yeah, you’ve always been that way, you know.”
“Why would you do that when you know everything? And why would I just blindly believe it without any evidence? It’s because you have an ulterior motive.”
“…”
“Don’t worry so much. Even if we’re friends, you don’t have the right to poke around like that…”
“Friends?”
Rudrick, who had been silent until then, suddenly raised his voice.
“Just because we’re friends, I can’t even do this?”
“Eh? Oh, no. Of course, you can be concerned, but I don’t know if it’s too much to say that I shouldn’t trust anyone…”
“So if we’re not friends, it’s okay?”
“If we’re not friends… What?”
I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was referring to. But he was staring back at me, his face as serious as ever, and his eyes as burdensome as well.
“Dahlia Averine.”
Rudrick paused for a moment.
Staring at me, he looked like he had something to say.
He gaped slightly, as if he were about to say more, then closed it tightly, and finally blurted out these words.
“I don’t want to play with you anymore.”
And then he turned and stomped away.
I stared after him, dumbfounded by his sudden declaration of war, until I realized that the distance between us had widened, and I ran after him.
“Let’s go together!”
Even as I followed him, I had to stop myself from a sudden, unsettling sense of foreboding.
He doesn’t want to play. Since when have we ever been playing little games?
No, he didn’t mean that.
‘You don’t want to be friends with me?’
Why? Just because?
I was stunned at how he just said he didn’t want to be friends like he was a 10-year-old kid, but what was worse was that I thought I knew why he was acting like that.
No, maybe I’ve been aware of it all along.
Ever since I saw the way his eyes were fixed on me, not care about anyone else.
Whenever I saw him fidgeting strangely around me on my way to see Princess, interrupting me whenever I was alone with Lord River.
And most of all…
‘I’ve found someone I like.’
When I said the name. From the moment I saw the look on his face.
I had to pull out the piece of speculation that I’d been ruling out as an absolute impossibility.
Rudrick Bouser, my dear cowardly old friend.
You don’t possibly…
‘Like me, do you?’
Author: Nikss
‘I know it’s someone else.’
When I heard that, I tried to tell him.
I was about to tell him that I had a crush on him and that we should get to know each other properly.
If only I hadn’t heard a noise behind me.
Rustle—
At the sudden sound, I turned around.
My eyes widened at the startling sound, ‘Rudrick?’
There he was, Rudrick. He was staring at us, his face as cold as ever, expressionless.
I felt a small twinge of embarrassment at the sight of him, for as soon as he appeared, certain thoughts came to mind.
‘How long has he been here?’
I asked, and it seemed that Lord River hadn’t noticed Rudrick’s arrival either.
After looking at Rudrick with the same bewildered gaze as I did, he soon regained his composure and addressed him.
“Lord Bouser, since when have you been there-“
“I was wondering where you were.”
He snapped, turning to face me, “Here you are.”
I cringed and stiffened under his cold gaze.
No, I just came here for the pure purpose of taking a walk by the lake with Lord River. Why do I feel so guilty?
When I stood there, looking at him like I was a pest. Rudrick glanced at me, then back at Lord River, and then spoke in a casual, unconcerned tone.
“The imperial court wanted to speak with you about a matter of scheduling once we arrive in the north.”
“Ah, yes. I’ve certainly lost track of time. I’ll be with you shortly, Dahlia…”
“No, now.”
Interrupting, Rudrick spoke in a strangely coercive tone.
“If you’re in such a hurry, why don’t you go first?”
‘Why don’t you go first?’ he said, but it sounded more like a command, ‘Go first.
Lord River’ he looked conflicted.
If Rudrick was right and the Imperials were looking for him, he should return quickly, but he was troubled by the idea of leaving me behind.
Seeing him at a loss, I quickly interjected, “I’m fine, so if you’re in a rush, you can go first.”
“But…”
“I’m not alone, and Rudrick’s there. I’m sure there are others.”
Honestly, I’m not disappointed, but it’s better than being caught between two people and getting busted in the center.
And now that I’d confirmed his feelings, we could always continue the conversation later, if there was time.
Lord River must have sensed my thoughts, because he soon nodded and bowed his head.
“If you’ll excuse me, then…”
And with that, he hurried away. I and Rudrick were left alone by the stream.
“…”
“…”
“…”
‘Ah… This is breathtaking…’
In the heavy silence that followed, I could only break out in a cold sweat.
At least when I was with Lord River, I felt calm as the frozen landscape was serene, but somehow being with Rudrick left me with a chill that made this place appear vicious.
And I knew why I felt this way.
And why I hadn’t been able to be as chatty as usual.
It was because I was nervous about how long Rudrick had been there.
‘How long has he really been there?’
That was pretty important to me. We hadn’t just had a casual conversation by the stream.
Lord River had made a deliberate move on me, Duke Goldman had stabbed me in the back.
I hoped that if anyone overheard, it would be misunderstood, and I hoped it would not be known, even if it was Rudrick.
But as usual, the heavens did not grant my wish.
“The Duke of Goldman stabbed you in the back?”
I screamed inwardly at Rudrick’s straightforwardness, but I couldn’t remain silent, so I answered quickly.
“Oh, no, that was Duke Goldman’s idea… But where did you hear about it?”
“Since Goldman asked how you knew.”
‘You heard it from the start!’
“If you’ve been listening from there, you should come out! What have you been doing in the dark?”
“Just getting a weird vibe. If he tried anything stupid, I’d slash him in the back.”
“Ah… I see.”
Now that I think about it, the atmosphere became tense when I realized that Lord River was pulling tricks on me.
At the time, I panicked and even felt a sense of crisis.
Considering how I felt at the time, I was relieved that Rudrick was there, but I was also creeped out by his comment that he would have cut him off even without acknowledgment if he was in a bad mood.
Thank goodness the mood quickly lightened. I almost saw blood right in front of me.
“Oh, nothing happened, I’m sure you heard it was a joke.”
“Yes, I did. Too bad.”
‘Too bad about what?’
I asked, trying to deflect the question.
“Anyway, it’s no big deal, Duke Goldman did it out of his impatience. He wasn’t trying to harm my reputation, he was just trying to make a connection with my family.”
“…”
“Lord River said he couldn’t help it at first, but then he refused, so it’s not relevant…”
“I don’t understand.”
I squinted at him.
“What makes you believe him so much?”
“What?”
“After all, he did approach you on purpose in the first place, didn’t he?”
Rudrick’s eyes were burning fiercely again, “Who would have thought that lying and saying how easy it was to approach you the first time would be a way to reassure you?”
“What are you talking about…”
“It’s reasonable suspicion. I think you’re the one who’s blind right now.”
My mouth dropped open in disbelief, “I’m the one who’s blind?”
“Yes. How long have you known Goldman now? Or did you two already know each other from the past?”
“…No, we met at the victory banquet.”
“So you’ve known him for less than half a year, so how can you be sure you can trust him? You don’t know what he’s thinking, even if you’ve been together for years?”
“…”
“You’re so complacent.”
“Then.”
After a moment’s pause, I finally blurted out, “You don’t believe it either, do you?”
“…What?”
I could see Rudrick’s eyes widen, but I didn’t stop talking.
“…”
“If you put it that way, I haven’t even known you for a year or so.”
“We were together for less than a year when we were younger, and then we exchanged a few letters and lost touch immediately, and I haven’t seen you in more than a decade.”
“…”
“As far as I’m concerned, he and you are equally strangers, and if I’m going to be suspicious of him, I suppose it’s fair to be equally suspicious of you?”
Rudrick kept his mouth tightly shut, not answering, but a hint of frustration seemed to leak out, and he sighed softly.
Why does he have to stand there like that?
Part of me wondered if I should be so shocked that the Duke of Goldman had arranged it, but another part of me felt bitter that it was his way of expressing his concern.
I took a deep breath, and then turned to him, my voice much calmer.
“I know what you’re worried about.”
“…”
“To be honest, I was scared earlier, too. I thought I’d been betrayed by someone I trusted. I guess I was relieved to hear that you were there, but…”
I said firmly, “Still, this is my business.”
“…”
“It’s a choice I made, a person I chose to trust, and I’ll take responsibility for it, and if I’m wrong…”
“…”
“I’m willing to accept it because I chose to believe.”
So don’t worry too much about me getting hurt.
Perhaps because my feelings were conveyed, he stared at me for a while and finally looked away.
“…Yeah, you’ve always been that way, you know.”
“Why would you do that when you know everything? And why would I just blindly believe it without any evidence? It’s because you have an ulterior motive.”
“…”
“Don’t worry so much. Even if we’re friends, you don’t have the right to poke around like that…”
“Friends?”
Rudrick, who had been silent until then, suddenly raised his voice.
“Just because we’re friends, I can’t even do this?”
“Eh? Oh, no. Of course, you can be concerned, but I don’t know if it’s too much to say that I shouldn’t trust anyone…”
“So if we’re not friends, it’s okay?”
“If we’re not friends… What?”
I stared at him, trying to figure out what he was referring to. But he was staring back at me, his face as serious as ever, and his eyes as burdensome as well.
“Dahlia Averine.”
Rudrick paused for a moment.
Staring at me, he looked like he had something to say.
He gaped slightly, as if he were about to say more, then closed it tightly, and finally blurted out these words.
“I don’t want to play with you anymore.”
And then he turned and stomped away.
I stared after him, dumbfounded by his sudden declaration of war, until I realized that the distance between us had widened, and I ran after him.
“Let’s go together!”
Even as I followed him, I had to stop myself from a sudden, unsettling sense of foreboding.
He doesn’t want to play. Since when have we ever been playing little games?
No, he didn’t mean that.
‘You don’t want to be friends with me?’
Why? Just because?
I was stunned at how he just said he didn’t want to be friends like he was a 10-year-old kid, but what was worse was that I thought I knew why he was acting like that.
No, maybe I’ve been aware of it all along.
Ever since I saw the way his eyes were fixed on me, not care about anyone else.
Whenever I saw him fidgeting strangely around me on my way to see Princess, interrupting me whenever I was alone with Lord River.
And most of all…
‘I’ve found someone I like.’
When I said the name. From the moment I saw the look on his face.
I had to pull out the piece of speculation that I’d been ruling out as an absolute impossibility.
Rudrick Bouser, my dear cowardly old friend.
You don’t possibly…
‘Like me, do you?’
