‘I understand.’
She also took out the letters he sent when she missed him and would read them over and over again. When that wasn’t enough, she’d go to the small drawing-room where they used to study and look at the books, worksheets, and writing instruments that he used.
It must have been so hard for Raynald to live in a strange place when even she was struggling and missing him in her familiar home.
To others, she was like a flower in a greenhouse. They’d always think she could never fully understand how Raynald felt. But actually, Yurina knew his mind the best.
‘Cause I was like that, too.’
She still remembered the days when she first fell into this strange world, when she couldn’t sleep at night. Nothing could ease the sense of loss and loneliness she felt.
She felt guilty just thinking about Raynald feeling such pain. She knew he would struggle with this distance apart but now had to deal with new surroundings as well. She was disgusted by her own actions.
‘But, I’m sorry’
Yurina was so sorry as she hugged Raynald’s back, rubbing her nose against his neck.
Obviously, he was a man a whole head taller than her with shoulders twice her width, but strangely, he felt small against her.
Perhaps that’s why the face of Raynald’s younger self came to her mind. He was like a small animal craving affection. Only then did the man in front of her feel familiar, like the arrogant little boy she had known.
‘Yeah, Ray is lazy. Anytime, anywhere.’
When Yurina gently smoothed his hair like she did when they were young, Raynald made a sigh-like sound that a small beast would make when it was in a good mood. Yurina also smiled quietly, leaning her cheek against his head.
“It must have been difficult.”
It wasn’t until quite some time later that Reynard smiled awkwardly and let Yurina go. He took a handkerchief out from his sleeve, put it on a flowerless spot, and let Yurina sit on it. Then he sat down on the ground not caring if his clothes got dirty.
“Let’s stay a little longer and go back when things settle down.”
“Okay.”
“Do you want me to make you a flower crown?”
“A flower crown? You know how to make one?”
“Aiden taught me. He often played in the fields with his younger brothers since they were from the countryside.
Aiden? Yurina chewed the name in her mouth.
“Oh, a friend from the academy?”
“He’s not even a friend.”
“I think he’s a friend. Why didn’t you mention him in your letters?”
“No way.”
Raynald stood up from his spot on the ground, avoiding Yurina’s playful smile that seemed to say ‘I know your heart.’
‘You’re not being honest.’
Since Raynald mentioned his name unconsciously, they must be close. It seemed to Yurina that Raynald wasn’t honest. However, it was still Raynald, so she just laughed.
Yurina stood up from her seat as well and silently stared at his back while picking flowers one by one and approaching him. Raynald looked back when he felt her approach.
“Sit down.”
While he said so, he grabbed Yurina’s hand and pulled her aside.
“I’m bored. Let me join you.”
“Then would you like to make a flower crown?”
“I don’t know how to make one.”
“I’ll teach you.”
“Okay. Let’s make one together.”
Yurina rolled up her sleeves slightly and plucked a flower. The scent of fresh flowers smelled good. As Raynald said, it smelled like the flower soap that Yurina used since she was young.
“It smells good. I think it’ll help me relax if I put it in the bath.”
“Really? Then let’s pick a bunch for when we go back.”
He sped up his flower picking. Yurina grabbed her dress to make a pouch as she looked at the petals piled up in his hands.
“Drop everything in here.”
As she held her dress out, Raynald scattered the flowers he had onto it. Yellow flowers bloomed all over the red dress.
At the same time, the autumn wind blew and rustled Yurina’s hair. Since she was holding onto the hem of her dress, Yurina couldn’t fix her hair properly and repeatedly lowered her head to minimize damage. But her hair became messier and messier.
“Ah….”
Raynald turned his head at her frustrated voice and burst into laughter when he saw Yurina’s face scrunched with a frown.
“Stay still. I’ll fix it for you”
Raynald skillfully plucked a flower and put it behind one of her ears.
“Okay, all done.”
Yurina glanced sideways at her ears and made a face. A flower on her head. It’s a strange combination for some reason.
“What is this?”
“A flower.”
“It’s weird.”
“It’s not weird. Don’t worry.”
Smiling with satisfaction, he took Yurina’s hand and sat down again. Then, she brought flowers piled up on the skirt of Yurina and they began to weave them one by one.
He didn’t have much experience and sometimes wove the flowers incorrectly, but he still made a passable flower crown.
After carefully observing the crown, Yurina followed his instructions and mimicked his finger movement. It looked easy, but the problem was the petals kept sticking to her fingers.
Raynald chuckled as he looked down at the crushed petals.
“You’re not as good with your hands as I thought you were. When I was young, I thought you were good at everything.”
“It’s my first time.”
“I was much better than this during my first time.”
Before Yurina could make another excuse, Raynald put down the one he was making and grabbed her hand.
“You have to hold it like this so it doesn’t fall out like this.”
His hands manipulated her fingers and wove the flowers one by one. From both of their hands, a fairly decent flower crown was completed.
Raynald nodded his head in satisfaction while wiping Yurina’s grass-stained fingers against his palm and finished his own flower crown. Unlike Yurina’s crown with crushed petals and sharp edges, his was round and full.
“It’s done. How is it? Pretty, isn’t it?”
“Yes, the flowers are yellow, so they look like real crowns.”
“If you want, I can cast a protective spell on them? If you put magic on it, it won’t wither and it won’t be crumpled either.”
“Can you do that, too?”
“It’s basic magic.”
Yurina alternated between the ugly flower crown in her hand and the pretty flower crown held by Raynald.
“Then let’s cast one on yours. Mine doesn’t look pretty and it’s already crumpled too much.”
“Okay.”
When Raynald swept the flower crown with his fingertips, bright light like the sun wrapped around the flowers and disappeared. Raynald looked up at the finished flower crown raised high in the sky and closed his eyes frowning as if blinded by the dazzling sun. Then, he laid down naturally on Yurina’s lap.
Instead of pushing him away, Yurina raised her hand to shade his face from the blinding sunlight.
“When I was young.”
With his eyes still closed, Raynald suddenly opened his mouth. Yurina, who was working hard to adjust her hand’s position to block the sun, waited patiently for him to continue.
“When I was younger than I was when I met you– so I was about ten years old– I saw a wagon accident. So I understand why you were so scared today.”
She put her hand down, forgetting to make a shade due to his unexpected words. Raynald pulled her hand over his eyes.
“At that time, a man was hit by a noble’s carriage, and the horseman who was driving the carriage got off, saw the fallen man, cursed him, and threw some gold coins. And then he left. The nobleman inside didn’t even look outside.”
Unlike the grave story, his voice was peaceful, but Yurina felt his hand that held hers shake slightly.
“Blood was on the floor cooling and the person was lying, dying. But no one was willing to help. I had to. A wizard was the only one who could heal such an injury, but how could we call a wizard if we weren’t nobles? Even if I tried, they wouldn’t come.”
His calm voice began to tremble bit by bit. He wasn’t looking at her, but Yurina shook her head reflexively.
“You don’t have to tell me. It’s a painful memory.”
“No, listen.”
Was this a memory he had bottled up? Yurina could no longer dissuade him. If he could get comfort from just sharing the story, she could listen to it again and again.
“There was nothing I could do back then. A person was dying in front of me, but all I could do was cry and beg him not to die. Pathetic, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not pathetic.”
When Yurina saw him in distress, she held his hand and recalled the faces of her family. She had died like the person young Raynald saw. She could hear her mother whisper helplessly, “I’m sorry.”
She couldn’t see her face, but Yurina could tell her mother had been suffering from the tone of her voice as she chanted over and over. Perhaps her mother’s voice at that time was similar to Raynald’s.
But Yurina never blamed her mother or felt she was pathetic for not being able to do anything.
She just felt sorry that her mom had to go through that.
But that’s what death is. Those who are dying and those who are forced to watch it helplessly are equally pained and tormented. How could little Raynald suffer such a terrible experience.
“I still remember that scene sometimes. Yuri, if I knew magic then, could I have saved them? Sometimes I regret it so much.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know.”
He smiled helplessly.
“I know, but I still feel guilty about it. Now, if something like that happened before me, I can heal them and get them to repent for any sins. If it weren’t for you, I might just leave and run away in such a situation.”
“Yes, I know.”
“…….”
After those confession-like words, Raynald shut his mouth. Yurina pondered for a moment about how to relieve his burdens before bending down and bumping him with her forehead.
“You know, Ray. He would have been grateful to you for whispering, don’t die, please live.”
It was a comfort that only she could give when remembering a moment of death. From anyone else, it would have felt like a passing comment, but from Yurina, he could hear her sincerity.
“You were there for them until the last minute. That’s enough.”
Yurina knew. It was so lonely lying alone in the crosswalk, but in the end, she felt at ease since her mom was next to her.
Yurina laughed as she tried to swallow her pain.
As soon as she finished speaking, Raynald’s lips trembled. Her palm that was covering his eyes began to moisten. Yurina patted him on his chest without saying any more.
Silent tears flowed for a moment in the wide field with yellow flowers swaying in the wind. Yurina bit her lips tightly and looked up at the sky.
‘Would it have been comforting?’
She wasn’t sure about that. Still, she hoped her words could comfort him.
Reynard could hardly calm down after releasing his pent-up traumas. Yurina kept whispering everything was fine like how he had soothed her earlier.
By the time his trembling died down and his breathing had stabilized to some extent, Yurina was murmuring close to his ear.
“Ray, like you said, you have the power to help now. So let’s find that nobleman from earlier and never let that happen again.”
“Huh?”
Yurina smiled at Raynald, removing the petals from his hair, causing a puzzled feeling to rise in his body to match his puzzled face.
“Don’t let something like this happen again.”
For you, for me. And for others who suffered the same.
Raynald nodded looking lighter as if he could read her inner thoughts from her eyes.
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
He placed the flower crown on Yurina’s head.
The golden sun above her head and the golden petals on the ground colored his world. With a smile that shined more than anything in this world, Raynald slowly kissed Yurina on her forehead.
‘I understand.’
She also took out the letters he sent when she missed him and would read them over and over again. When that wasn’t enough, she’d go to the small drawing-room where they used to study and look at the books, worksheets, and writing instruments that he used.
It must have been so hard for Raynald to live in a strange place when even she was struggling and missing him in her familiar home.
To others, she was like a flower in a greenhouse. They’d always think she could never fully understand how Raynald felt. But actually, Yurina knew his mind the best.
‘Cause I was like that, too.’
She still remembered the days when she first fell into this strange world, when she couldn’t sleep at night. Nothing could ease the sense of loss and loneliness she felt.
She felt guilty just thinking about Raynald feeling such pain. She knew he would struggle with this distance apart but now had to deal with new surroundings as well. She was disgusted by her own actions.
‘But, I’m sorry’
Yurina was so sorry as she hugged Raynald’s back, rubbing her nose against his neck.
Obviously, he was a man a whole head taller than her with shoulders twice her width, but strangely, he felt small against her.
Perhaps that’s why the face of Raynald’s younger self came to her mind. He was like a small animal craving affection. Only then did the man in front of her feel familiar, like the arrogant little boy she had known.
‘Yeah, Ray is lazy. Anytime, anywhere.’
When Yurina gently smoothed his hair like she did when they were young, Raynald made a sigh-like sound that a small beast would make when it was in a good mood. Yurina also smiled quietly, leaning her cheek against his head.
“It must have been difficult.”
It wasn’t until quite some time later that Reynard smiled awkwardly and let Yurina go. He took a handkerchief out from his sleeve, put it on a flowerless spot, and let Yurina sit on it. Then he sat down on the ground not caring if his clothes got dirty.
“Let’s stay a little longer and go back when things settle down.”
“Okay.”
“Do you want me to make you a flower crown?”
“A flower crown? You know how to make one?”
“Aiden taught me. He often played in the fields with his younger brothers since they were from the countryside.
Aiden? Yurina chewed the name in her mouth.
“Oh, a friend from the academy?”
“He’s not even a friend.”
“I think he’s a friend. Why didn’t you mention him in your letters?”
“No way.”
Raynald stood up from his spot on the ground, avoiding Yurina’s playful smile that seemed to say ‘I know your heart.’
‘You’re not being honest.’
Since Raynald mentioned his name unconsciously, they must be close. It seemed to Yurina that Raynald wasn’t honest. However, it was still Raynald, so she just laughed.
Yurina stood up from her seat as well and silently stared at his back while picking flowers one by one and approaching him. Raynald looked back when he felt her approach.
“Sit down.”
While he said so, he grabbed Yurina’s hand and pulled her aside.
“I’m bored. Let me join you.”
“Then would you like to make a flower crown?”
“I don’t know how to make one.”
“I’ll teach you.”
“Okay. Let’s make one together.”
Yurina rolled up her sleeves slightly and plucked a flower. The scent of fresh flowers smelled good. As Raynald said, it smelled like the flower soap that Yurina used since she was young.
“It smells good. I think it’ll help me relax if I put it in the bath.”
“Really? Then let’s pick a bunch for when we go back.”
He sped up his flower picking. Yurina grabbed her dress to make a pouch as she looked at the petals piled up in his hands.
“Drop everything in here.”
As she held her dress out, Raynald scattered the flowers he had onto it. Yellow flowers bloomed all over the red dress.
At the same time, the autumn wind blew and rustled Yurina’s hair. Since she was holding onto the hem of her dress, Yurina couldn’t fix her hair properly and repeatedly lowered her head to minimize damage. But her hair became messier and messier.
“Ah….”
Raynald turned his head at her frustrated voice and burst into laughter when he saw Yurina’s face scrunched with a frown.
“Stay still. I’ll fix it for you”
Raynald skillfully plucked a flower and put it behind one of her ears.
“Okay, all done.”
Yurina glanced sideways at her ears and made a face. A flower on her head. It’s a strange combination for some reason.
“What is this?”
“A flower.”
“It’s weird.”
“It’s not weird. Don’t worry.”
Smiling with satisfaction, he took Yurina’s hand and sat down again. Then, she brought flowers piled up on the skirt of Yurina and they began to weave them one by one.
He didn’t have much experience and sometimes wove the flowers incorrectly, but he still made a passable flower crown.
After carefully observing the crown, Yurina followed his instructions and mimicked his finger movement. It looked easy, but the problem was the petals kept sticking to her fingers.
Raynald chuckled as he looked down at the crushed petals.
“You’re not as good with your hands as I thought you were. When I was young, I thought you were good at everything.”
“It’s my first time.”
“I was much better than this during my first time.”
Before Yurina could make another excuse, Raynald put down the one he was making and grabbed her hand.
“You have to hold it like this so it doesn’t fall out like this.”
His hands manipulated her fingers and wove the flowers one by one. From both of their hands, a fairly decent flower crown was completed.
Raynald nodded his head in satisfaction while wiping Yurina’s grass-stained fingers against his palm and finished his own flower crown. Unlike Yurina’s crown with crushed petals and sharp edges, his was round and full.
“It’s done. How is it? Pretty, isn’t it?”
“Yes, the flowers are yellow, so they look like real crowns.”
“If you want, I can cast a protective spell on them? If you put magic on it, it won’t wither and it won’t be crumpled either.”
“Can you do that, too?”
“It’s basic magic.”
Yurina alternated between the ugly flower crown in her hand and the pretty flower crown held by Raynald.
“Then let’s cast one on yours. Mine doesn’t look pretty and it’s already crumpled too much.”
“Okay.”
When Raynald swept the flower crown with his fingertips, bright light like the sun wrapped around the flowers and disappeared. Raynald looked up at the finished flower crown raised high in the sky and closed his eyes frowning as if blinded by the dazzling sun. Then, he laid down naturally on Yurina’s lap.
Instead of pushing him away, Yurina raised her hand to shade his face from the blinding sunlight.
“When I was young.”
With his eyes still closed, Raynald suddenly opened his mouth. Yurina, who was working hard to adjust her hand’s position to block the sun, waited patiently for him to continue.
“When I was younger than I was when I met you– so I was about ten years old– I saw a wagon accident. So I understand why you were so scared today.”
She put her hand down, forgetting to make a shade due to his unexpected words. Raynald pulled her hand over his eyes.
“At that time, a man was hit by a noble’s carriage, and the horseman who was driving the carriage got off, saw the fallen man, cursed him, and threw some gold coins. And then he left. The nobleman inside didn’t even look outside.”
Unlike the grave story, his voice was peaceful, but Yurina felt his hand that held hers shake slightly.
“Blood was on the floor cooling and the person was lying, dying. But no one was willing to help. I had to. A wizard was the only one who could heal such an injury, but how could we call a wizard if we weren’t nobles? Even if I tried, they wouldn’t come.”
His calm voice began to tremble bit by bit. He wasn’t looking at her, but Yurina shook her head reflexively.
“You don’t have to tell me. It’s a painful memory.”
“No, listen.”
Was this a memory he had bottled up? Yurina could no longer dissuade him. If he could get comfort from just sharing the story, she could listen to it again and again.
“There was nothing I could do back then. A person was dying in front of me, but all I could do was cry and beg him not to die. Pathetic, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s not pathetic.”
When Yurina saw him in distress, she held his hand and recalled the faces of her family. She had died like the person young Raynald saw. She could hear her mother whisper helplessly, “I’m sorry.”
She couldn’t see her face, but Yurina could tell her mother had been suffering from the tone of her voice as she chanted over and over. Perhaps her mother’s voice at that time was similar to Raynald’s.
But Yurina never blamed her mother or felt she was pathetic for not being able to do anything.
She just felt sorry that her mom had to go through that.
But that’s what death is. Those who are dying and those who are forced to watch it helplessly are equally pained and tormented. How could little Raynald suffer such a terrible experience.
“I still remember that scene sometimes. Yuri, if I knew magic then, could I have saved them? Sometimes I regret it so much.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know.”
He smiled helplessly.
“I know, but I still feel guilty about it. Now, if something like that happened before me, I can heal them and get them to repent for any sins. If it weren’t for you, I might just leave and run away in such a situation.”
“Yes, I know.”
“…….”
After those confession-like words, Raynald shut his mouth. Yurina pondered for a moment about how to relieve his burdens before bending down and bumping him with her forehead.
“You know, Ray. He would have been grateful to you for whispering, don’t die, please live.”
It was a comfort that only she could give when remembering a moment of death. From anyone else, it would have felt like a passing comment, but from Yurina, he could hear her sincerity.
“You were there for them until the last minute. That’s enough.”
Yurina knew. It was so lonely lying alone in the crosswalk, but in the end, she felt at ease since her mom was next to her.
Yurina laughed as she tried to swallow her pain.
As soon as she finished speaking, Raynald’s lips trembled. Her palm that was covering his eyes began to moisten. Yurina patted him on his chest without saying any more.
Silent tears flowed for a moment in the wide field with yellow flowers swaying in the wind. Yurina bit her lips tightly and looked up at the sky.
‘Would it have been comforting?’
She wasn’t sure about that. Still, she hoped her words could comfort him.
Reynard could hardly calm down after releasing his pent-up traumas. Yurina kept whispering everything was fine like how he had soothed her earlier.
By the time his trembling died down and his breathing had stabilized to some extent, Yurina was murmuring close to his ear.
“Ray, like you said, you have the power to help now. So let’s find that nobleman from earlier and never let that happen again.”
“Huh?”
Yurina smiled at Raynald, removing the petals from his hair, causing a puzzled feeling to rise in his body to match his puzzled face.
“Don’t let something like this happen again.”
For you, for me. And for others who suffered the same.
Raynald nodded looking lighter as if he could read her inner thoughts from her eyes.
“Yeah, let’s do that.”
He placed the flower crown on Yurina’s head.
The golden sun above her head and the golden petals on the ground colored his world. With a smile that shined more than anything in this world, Raynald slowly kissed Yurina on her forehead.
