Chapter 6
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I believe it's been at least 2 days since our departure.
The two of us cooperated. I acted as a guide, ensuring the safety of the path ahead and sometimes hunted weaker monsters along the way. I wasn't stingy and sometimes brought Celine half-dead monsters for an easy kill.
She was much tougher than I thought and forced herself to act according to circumstances. Every bit of extra power meant a better chance at survival, after all.
As for me, hunting became a lot easier after putting an extra 0.5 stat points in strength. My teeth and claws sharpened noticeably, especially fangs that tore through the hard skin of small lizards with no problem. My attack power was 2-3 times higher than before and I had an advantage in mobility and perception too, so as long as I was careful, hunting weak preys was no longer a problem. All it took was 2-3 bites and scratches to put down weaker monsters.
Meanwhile, intimidation skill acted as a deterrence, but it couldn't be active all the time, so we had to rest from time to time. Before resting I chose decent places, where there were fewer crawlers. The fire from the torch was sufficient to keep off the small fries.
The torch itself was quite unique as it never extinguished. My vocal cords were different, so I could no longer speak human language to ask her about it. I assume, they got it somewhere in the cave...
Like that, I managed to reduce Celine's burden as much as I could. How could I guess? I was getting more headpats, of course.
As we spent more time together, we grew fond of each other. I never knew headpats could be this addictive...
Jokes aside, I naturally started worrying as she ran out of food. To aimlessly seek for the exit in this massive cave was ridiculous, but I couldn't just leave her here all alone, because I feel I'd feel so scared and miserable in her shoes.
People in modern age lacked that exactly - empathy. It was because one didn't understand another that coldness invaded human's nature.
I'm not an apostle of peace and kindness. It's just since I've become a monster, I secretly felt anxious, that one day I would lose all of my humanity. That's why I wanted to remind myself that my soul is that of a human.
But is a human supposed to be all that good? - Far from it, actually. All the evil things a human can do, beasts can do the same. Goodness is what makes humans distinct and set apart from other beasts, which can't afford to be compassionate, merciful and kind.
In the end, everything comes down to my selfishness. I had many regrets in the previous life, for example, having nobody to care for me was less of a problem than me having nobody to care for.
Outside of it, my life was already burdened as it was and I couldn't afford to be that charitable, but I tried my best from time to time.
As an atheist, I didn't believe my goodness would ever be returned neither in this world nor there, in heaven, but this didn't deter me from doing good deeds nor did I feel I was less than others.
Instead, I felt somewhat superior. What can kindness be worth if you expect to be rewarded by God for it? People did good deeds because they were just afraid to go to hell and suffer eternal damnation. They were greedy to enter God's sanctuary. In the end, none of their intentions were pure. Instead, they were selfish, even if they seemed kind and admirable from the outside.
Especially politicians, who blatantly called for media to publicize their charity activities to raise their reputation in the populace disgusted me.
Even though I say all that, I couldn't say I was all that better than others either. Probably, all the good things I did were also because I was similarly selfish. I felt worthless and wanted to feel better about myself this way...This makes me even worse than ones I once secretly looked down upon.
I don't know why I feel so attached to humanity when I didn't even try my best when I was one, but one simply understands something's worth when it's lost. If I had a chance now, I would probably be more different, a better person.
I feel I'm losing humanity every time I eat the raw bloody flesh of what I've hunted. I feel I'm losing humanity whenever I'm searching for prey to kill...I'm struggling between adapting to new life and not wanting to forget the previous one at the same time.
I just...do not know what I want anymore. I feel lost, and it's not the first time. My process of thoughts has always been messy, full of complications.
...
But I'm not alone now. My worries fade away when I'm with Celine. Though she must be about 14 or 15, not much of a kid anymore, she has that child's innocence and kindness retained. I feel so much more relaxed with her than I ever felt with rows upon rows of people, who were all either fake, scheming or hard to see through.
Being true to oneself is one, but being true to another feels much more fulfilling.
...I guess I was too distracted. Alright, back to reality!
When I hunted, I didn't go too far from her so unforeseen events wouldn't occur.
After dropping another crab-like monster from high altitude, a sweet ding sound rang from the system. 30/30 Exp lit up with a golden color on status screen and changed into 1/90 while level indicator changed from 1 to 2.
[ Prey eliminated
+2 Exp ]
[ Level up!
Gained: 24 skill points, 0.5 stat points
+0.5 HP
+0.3 Stamina
+0.03 Strength
+0.1 Agility
+0.01 Defense
+0.03 Willpower
+0.12 Perception ]
Finally! It feels great to feel stronger once again.
[ Name: -
Species: Bat
Titles:
Cunning (The successful sneak attacks deal +10% damage.)
Bully (+2% damage to the enemies weaker than you, -1% damage to the enemies stronger than you.)
Eternal Observer (+0.5 perception)
Hunter hunter (+5% damage against foes who initiate the death battle.)
Sadist (+1% damage against anything that has feelings and can feel pain.)
Samaritan (+10% HP restored from all types of healing skills and spells.)
Level 2/5
1/90 Exp
Skill points: 24
Stat points: 0.5
Trait: Nocturnal (+10% all stats at night and dark places, increased vision at night.)
Stats:
2.8/2.8 HP
1.9/1.9 Stamina
0 Mana
Strength: 0.76
Agility: 0.79
Defense: 0.05
Tenacity: 0.00
Willpower: 0.3
Perception: 1.5
Luck: 0.3 [Locked]
3% crit rate
Skills:
Night vision: 21
Vigilance: 17
Slumber: 9
Flying: 22
Echolocation: 24
Sneak: 11
Bite: 15
Scratch: 13
Deception: 3
Intimidation: 24
Throw: 2 ]
I screeched happily and gently landed on Celine's shoulder.
'You leveled up? Good job, mister bat.' She beamed and ruffled my head. Ah, another sweet head pat.
Hohoho, you've seen nothing little one, this lord is far more amazing than you think.
Celine giggled at my boastful expression.
'Ah, mister bat, how about I give you a name?'
She jumped up in excitement.
Genius!
I nodded my head without hesitation. Not seeing my name on the status screen was a bit offsetting.
'Ok, how about...little bat?'
I almost smacked my forehead in exasperation. Her naming sense is as good as every author of wuxia or Xianxia genre light novels.
Little bat, that's still okay though. I would vomit blood if I was named little black or something and I'm not even joking!
But little bat...still no. I furiously shook my head to express my refusal.
'Ah? Why? It sounds so cute...' Celine refuted with a disappointed expression.
'Ah, I know, how about...little black?' Her eyes shone with brilliant light.
All of a sudden I felt dizzy and fell to the ground.
'Ah, mister bat, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you feeling okay?'
I was gently lifted in an embrace. She looked at me tearfully.
Damn, not little black, please...just not little black...
I jumped on her shoulder, back to normal.
Celine heaved a sigh of relief.
'You scared me, thank god you are safe.'
After a while, she said. 'So, how about little black?'
My face twitched. I shook my head even more furiously than last time.
'No good? Alright, I'll think of another one later. Eh? There's a small lake here.'
She exclaimed in happiness.
My heart drummed. It's not like I expected a bath with a little beauty or anything...
'Mister bat, let's have a nice bath.' She said excitedly.
Oh no, I think a blush appeared on my face.
Despite fooling around, my perception never slackened in the least. The lake was safe, otherwise, I would notify her.
Hmm? Why did you grab me, Celine? Aah? What are you doing? You mischievous imp...stahp! I'm drowning!
I was being washed with dainty white hands, which now looked like a reaper's scythe to me. She even hummed a tune as she washed my feeble bat body.
I feel like even my brain is washed away from this torture.
'Ah, mister bat, why are you so disobedient? Being dirty is no good. Stop flailing your wings. You're getting me soaked.' Celine complained.
I'm drowning, I'm fucking drowning!
Ah~
I feel so violated~
* * *
Celine was beaming while she walked. I sat on her shoulder grumpily, with my fur being all puffy after a 'nice' shower.
'C'mon mister bat, don't be so angry.' Celine tried consoling me and patted my head.
Humph, it's not going to work. I turned my head to the side.
Tsundere mode, activate!
Hmm?
I stopped fooling around and screeched in low voice, then pointed my wing at another direction.
'There's no good? Alright.'
Celine trusted my sense of direction me after performing greatly for the past few days.
*Growl, growl
I heard the sound coming from Celine's stomach.
Shit! I almost forgot about it. I should find her something to eat, else her pace will drop further and it's never a good idea to stay in one place for too long unless it's secluded.
'It's alright, I'm fine.'
She gave me a somewhat pained smile, sensing my worried gaze.
For the following hours, I've tried to find something edible for a human. Except for weird herbs I wouldn't dare touch, there wasn't even anything else. Celine was getting weaker and weaker.
'Ah!'
Suddenly, Celine fell on the ground.
I flapped my wings and dropped by her side, worried.
...That's bad.
She sprained and bruised her leg. Even her shoes are already beyond worn out and her soles were bleeding...I should have noticed sooner...
My heart weighted down. She couldn't continue walking in such condition.
...
This is seriously bad. After all that, is she going to die here?
Is there something I can do? Anything?
As I was fretting I felt a warm hand on my tiny head.
'I'm sorry, mister bat. This is...as far I go.'
No.
'Thank you for saving me, thank you for being with me. It's time to part.'
No!
-0.1
I have been slapped away.
'Leave me, now!'
Celine's expression changed, appearing as cold as ice.
I refuse!
-0.1
'Go away!'
-0.1
-0.1
-0.1
...
'Why are you not leaving? You'll die, sob, sob.'
Now she was crying.
I won't leave, I'll protect you.
My tiny blood-red eyes stared right back at her. My expression said it all.
Only silent sobs could be heard in the cave.
The torch was extinguished.
Slithering and crawling sounds increased in the surroundings. They were now getting more distinct.
In the dark cave full of monsters, a little girl was waiting for death to come...
Soon, the consistent use of intimidation skill took its toll on me. I was forced to deactivate it, in order to not pass out.
Slowly, the monsters started gathering from all around. I felt their gazes, directed at us.
Once again, I felt so despairingly powerless.
I always thought I was smart, in fact too smart for my own good...I realized by staying there, I would only add one more insignificant bat corpse to the monsters.
I'm aware, life isn't a sweet story, where problems are solved one way or another despite everything. Life is that harsh, always was. Now...
Hahaha, I know it's stupid...but I promised myself to live without regrets, didn't I? What's this insignificant bat life worth?
Sigh, life was never easy, but even then...it was good while it lasted...
System, put all my stat points into defense and skill points into Bite.
'Mister bat...' I heard a light sobbing sound behind me.
Sigh, here we go.
...
1,2,3...6.
I looked at the monster corpses with much disappointment.
This was what all my effort amounted to. My wings were torn by a gremlin-like monster. Next, my bloodied body was thrown back to Celine, who held me in her hands, bathing me in tears.
Now, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to fly to safety.
I feel...relieved. This was the right thing to do, but sometimes, the right choice isn't always the correct one.
Still, I don't regret. I don't regret I'll die for my stupidity. I regret dying for nothing, I regret being useless.
The monsters started approaching. I smelled the disturbing stench coming from their bodies. I felt their evil intentions from their greedy eyes.
I hope I won't reincarnate ever again.
I just want to die and rest for eternity, becoming nothingness.
I closed my eyes, accepting the bitter fate.
I felt Celine's trembling hands in her embrace.
I'm sorry...
...
...
...
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
I believe it's been at least 2 days since our departure.
The two of us cooperated. I acted as a guide, ensuring the safety of the path ahead and sometimes hunted weaker monsters along the way. I wasn't stingy and sometimes brought Celine half-dead monsters for an easy kill.
She was much tougher than I thought and forced herself to act according to circumstances. Every bit of extra power meant a better chance at survival, after all.
As for me, hunting became a lot easier after putting an extra 0.5 stat points in strength. My teeth and claws sharpened noticeably, especially fangs that tore through the hard skin of small lizards with no problem. My attack power was 2-3 times higher than before and I had an advantage in mobility and perception too, so as long as I was careful, hunting weak preys was no longer a problem. All it took was 2-3 bites and scratches to put down weaker monsters.
Meanwhile, intimidation skill acted as a deterrence, but it couldn't be active all the time, so we had to rest from time to time. Before resting I chose decent places, where there were fewer crawlers. The fire from the torch was sufficient to keep off the small fries.
The torch itself was quite unique as it never extinguished. My vocal cords were different, so I could no longer speak human language to ask her about it. I assume, they got it somewhere in the cave...
Like that, I managed to reduce Celine's burden as much as I could. How could I guess? I was getting more headpats, of course.
As we spent more time together, we grew fond of each other. I never knew headpats could be this addictive...
Jokes aside, I naturally started worrying as she ran out of food. To aimlessly seek for the exit in this massive cave was ridiculous, but I couldn't just leave her here all alone, because I feel I'd feel so scared and miserable in her shoes.
People in modern age lacked that exactly - empathy. It was because one didn't understand another that coldness invaded human's nature.
I'm not an apostle of peace and kindness. It's just since I've become a monster, I secretly felt anxious, that one day I would lose all of my humanity. That's why I wanted to remind myself that my soul is that of a human.
But is a human supposed to be all that good? - Far from it, actually. All the evil things a human can do, beasts can do the same. Goodness is what makes humans distinct and set apart from other beasts, which can't afford to be compassionate, merciful and kind.
In the end, everything comes down to my selfishness. I had many regrets in the previous life, for example, having nobody to care for me was less of a problem than me having nobody to care for.
Outside of it, my life was already burdened as it was and I couldn't afford to be that charitable, but I tried my best from time to time.
As an atheist, I didn't believe my goodness would ever be returned neither in this world nor there, in heaven, but this didn't deter me from doing good deeds nor did I feel I was less than others.
Instead, I felt somewhat superior. What can kindness be worth if you expect to be rewarded by God for it? People did good deeds because they were just afraid to go to hell and suffer eternal damnation. They were greedy to enter God's sanctuary. In the end, none of their intentions were pure. Instead, they were selfish, even if they seemed kind and admirable from the outside.
Especially politicians, who blatantly called for media to publicize their charity activities to raise their reputation in the populace disgusted me.
Even though I say all that, I couldn't say I was all that better than others either. Probably, all the good things I did were also because I was similarly selfish. I felt worthless and wanted to feel better about myself this way...This makes me even worse than ones I once secretly looked down upon.
I don't know why I feel so attached to humanity when I didn't even try my best when I was one, but one simply understands something's worth when it's lost. If I had a chance now, I would probably be more different, a better person.
I feel I'm losing humanity every time I eat the raw bloody flesh of what I've hunted. I feel I'm losing humanity whenever I'm searching for prey to kill...I'm struggling between adapting to new life and not wanting to forget the previous one at the same time.
I just...do not know what I want anymore. I feel lost, and it's not the first time. My process of thoughts has always been messy, full of complications.
...
But I'm not alone now. My worries fade away when I'm with Celine. Though she must be about 14 or 15, not much of a kid anymore, she has that child's innocence and kindness retained. I feel so much more relaxed with her than I ever felt with rows upon rows of people, who were all either fake, scheming or hard to see through.
Being true to oneself is one, but being true to another feels much more fulfilling.
...I guess I was too distracted. Alright, back to reality!
When I hunted, I didn't go too far from her so unforeseen events wouldn't occur.
After dropping another crab-like monster from high altitude, a sweet ding sound rang from the system. 30/30 Exp lit up with a golden color on status screen and changed into 1/90 while level indicator changed from 1 to 2.
[ Prey eliminated
+2 Exp ]
[ Level up!
Gained: 24 skill points, 0.5 stat points
+0.5 HP
+0.3 Stamina
+0.03 Strength
+0.1 Agility
+0.01 Defense
+0.03 Willpower
+0.12 Perception ]
Finally! It feels great to feel stronger once again.
[ Name: -
Species: Bat
Titles:
Cunning (The successful sneak attacks deal +10% damage.)
Bully (+2% damage to the enemies weaker than you, -1% damage to the enemies stronger than you.)
Eternal Observer (+0.5 perception)
Hunter hunter (+5% damage against foes who initiate the death battle.)
Sadist (+1% damage against anything that has feelings and can feel pain.)
Samaritan (+10% HP restored from all types of healing skills and spells.)
Level 2/5
1/90 Exp
Skill points: 24
Stat points: 0.5
Trait: Nocturnal (+10% all stats at night and dark places, increased vision at night.)
Stats:
2.8/2.8 HP
1.9/1.9 Stamina
0 Mana
Strength: 0.76
Agility: 0.79
Defense: 0.05
Tenacity: 0.00
Willpower: 0.3
Perception: 1.5
Luck: 0.3 [Locked]
3% crit rate
Skills:
Night vision: 21
Vigilance: 17
Slumber: 9
Flying: 22
Echolocation: 24
Sneak: 11
Bite: 15
Scratch: 13
Deception: 3
Intimidation: 24
Throw: 2 ]
I screeched happily and gently landed on Celine's shoulder.
'You leveled up? Good job, mister bat.' She beamed and ruffled my head. Ah, another sweet head pat.
Hohoho, you've seen nothing little one, this lord is far more amazing than you think.
Celine giggled at my boastful expression.
'Ah, mister bat, how about I give you a name?'
She jumped up in excitement.
Genius!
I nodded my head without hesitation. Not seeing my name on the status screen was a bit offsetting.
'Ok, how about...little bat?'
I almost smacked my forehead in exasperation. Her naming sense is as good as every author of wuxia or Xianxia genre light novels.
Little bat, that's still okay though. I would vomit blood if I was named little black or something and I'm not even joking!
But little bat...still no. I furiously shook my head to express my refusal.
'Ah? Why? It sounds so cute...' Celine refuted with a disappointed expression.
'Ah, I know, how about...little black?' Her eyes shone with brilliant light.
All of a sudden I felt dizzy and fell to the ground.
'Ah, mister bat, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you feeling okay?'
I was gently lifted in an embrace. She looked at me tearfully.
Damn, not little black, please...just not little black...
I jumped on her shoulder, back to normal.
Celine heaved a sigh of relief.
'You scared me, thank god you are safe.'
After a while, she said. 'So, how about little black?'
My face twitched. I shook my head even more furiously than last time.
'No good? Alright, I'll think of another one later. Eh? There's a small lake here.'
She exclaimed in happiness.
My heart drummed. It's not like I expected a bath with a little beauty or anything...
'Mister bat, let's have a nice bath.' She said excitedly.
Oh no, I think a blush appeared on my face.
Despite fooling around, my perception never slackened in the least. The lake was safe, otherwise, I would notify her.
Hmm? Why did you grab me, Celine? Aah? What are you doing? You mischievous imp...stahp! I'm drowning!
I was being washed with dainty white hands, which now looked like a reaper's scythe to me. She even hummed a tune as she washed my feeble bat body.
I feel like even my brain is washed away from this torture.
'Ah, mister bat, why are you so disobedient? Being dirty is no good. Stop flailing your wings. You're getting me soaked.' Celine complained.
I'm drowning, I'm fucking drowning!
Ah~
I feel so violated~
* * *
Celine was beaming while she walked. I sat on her shoulder grumpily, with my fur being all puffy after a 'nice' shower.
'C'mon mister bat, don't be so angry.' Celine tried consoling me and patted my head.
Humph, it's not going to work. I turned my head to the side.
Tsundere mode, activate!
Hmm?
I stopped fooling around and screeched in low voice, then pointed my wing at another direction.
'There's no good? Alright.'
Celine trusted my sense of direction me after performing greatly for the past few days.
*Growl, growl
I heard the sound coming from Celine's stomach.
Shit! I almost forgot about it. I should find her something to eat, else her pace will drop further and it's never a good idea to stay in one place for too long unless it's secluded.
'It's alright, I'm fine.'
She gave me a somewhat pained smile, sensing my worried gaze.
For the following hours, I've tried to find something edible for a human. Except for weird herbs I wouldn't dare touch, there wasn't even anything else. Celine was getting weaker and weaker.
'Ah!'
Suddenly, Celine fell on the ground.
I flapped my wings and dropped by her side, worried.
...That's bad.
She sprained and bruised her leg. Even her shoes are already beyond worn out and her soles were bleeding...I should have noticed sooner...
My heart weighted down. She couldn't continue walking in such condition.
...
This is seriously bad. After all that, is she going to die here?
Is there something I can do? Anything?
As I was fretting I felt a warm hand on my tiny head.
'I'm sorry, mister bat. This is...as far I go.'
No.
'Thank you for saving me, thank you for being with me. It's time to part.'
No!
-0.1
I have been slapped away.
'Leave me, now!'
Celine's expression changed, appearing as cold as ice.
I refuse!
-0.1
'Go away!'
-0.1
-0.1
-0.1
...
'Why are you not leaving? You'll die, sob, sob.'
Now she was crying.
I won't leave, I'll protect you.
My tiny blood-red eyes stared right back at her. My expression said it all.
Only silent sobs could be heard in the cave.
The torch was extinguished.
Slithering and crawling sounds increased in the surroundings. They were now getting more distinct.
In the dark cave full of monsters, a little girl was waiting for death to come...
Soon, the consistent use of intimidation skill took its toll on me. I was forced to deactivate it, in order to not pass out.
Slowly, the monsters started gathering from all around. I felt their gazes, directed at us.
Once again, I felt so despairingly powerless.
I always thought I was smart, in fact too smart for my own good...I realized by staying there, I would only add one more insignificant bat corpse to the monsters.
I'm aware, life isn't a sweet story, where problems are solved one way or another despite everything. Life is that harsh, always was. Now...
Hahaha, I know it's stupid...but I promised myself to live without regrets, didn't I? What's this insignificant bat life worth?
Sigh, life was never easy, but even then...it was good while it lasted...
System, put all my stat points into defense and skill points into Bite.
'Mister bat...' I heard a light sobbing sound behind me.
Sigh, here we go.
...
1,2,3...6.
I looked at the monster corpses with much disappointment.
This was what all my effort amounted to. My wings were torn by a gremlin-like monster. Next, my bloodied body was thrown back to Celine, who held me in her hands, bathing me in tears.
Now, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to fly to safety.
I feel...relieved. This was the right thing to do, but sometimes, the right choice isn't always the correct one.
Still, I don't regret. I don't regret I'll die for my stupidity. I regret dying for nothing, I regret being useless.
The monsters started approaching. I smelled the disturbing stench coming from their bodies. I felt their evil intentions from their greedy eyes.
I hope I won't reincarnate ever again.
I just want to die and rest for eternity, becoming nothingness.
I closed my eyes, accepting the bitter fate.
I felt Celine's trembling hands in her embrace.
I'm sorry...
...
...
...
I believe it's been at least 2 days since our departure.The two of us cooperated. I acted as a guide, ensuring the safety of the path ahead and sometimes hunted weaker monsters along the way. I wasn't stingy and sometimes brought Celine half-dead monsters for an easy kill.She was much tougher than I thought and forced herself to act according to circumstances. Every bit of extra power meant a better chance at survival, after all.As for me, hunting became a lot easier after putting an extra 0.5 stat points in strength. My teeth and claws sharpened noticeably, especially fangs that tore through the hard skin of small lizards with no problem. My attack power was 2-3 times higher than before and I had an advantage in mobility and perception too, so as long as I was careful, hunting weak preys was no longer a problem. All it took was 2-3 bites and scratches to put down weaker monsters.Meanwhile, intimidation skill acted as a deterrence, but it couldn't be active all the time, so we had to rest from time to time. Before resting I chose decent places, where there were fewer crawlers. The fire from the torch was sufficient to keep off the small fries.The torch itself was quite unique as it never extinguished. My vocal cords were different, so I could no longer speak human language to ask her about it. I assume, they got it somewhere in the cave...Like that, I managed to reduce Celine's burden as much as I could. How could I guess? I was getting more headpats, of course.As we spent more time together, we grew fond of each other. I never knew headpats could be this addictive...Jokes aside, I naturally started worrying as she ran out of food. To aimlessly seek for the exit in this massive cave was ridiculous, but I couldn't just leave her here all alone, because I feel I'd feel so scared and miserable in her shoes.People in modern age lacked that exactly - empathy. It was because one didn't understand another that coldness invaded human's nature.I'm not an apostle of peace and kindness. It's just since I've become a monster, I secretly felt anxious, that one day I would lose all of my humanity. That's why I wanted to remind myself that my soul is that of a human.But is a human supposed to be all that good? - Far from it, actually. All the evil things a human can do, beasts can do the same. Goodness is what makes humans distinct and set apart from other beasts, which can't afford to be compassionate, merciful and kind.In the end, everything comes down to my selfishness. I had many regrets in the previous life, for example, having nobody to care for me was less of a problem than me having nobody to care for.Outside of it, my life was already burdened as it was and I couldn't afford to be that charitable, but I tried my best from time to time.As an atheist, I didn't believe my goodness would ever be returned neither in this world nor there, in heaven, but this didn't deter me from doing good deeds nor did I feel I was less than others.Instead, I felt somewhat superior. What can kindness be worth if you expect to be rewarded by God for it? People did good deeds because they were just afraid to go to hell and suffer eternal damnation. They were greedy to enter God's sanctuary. In the end, none of their intentions were pure. Instead, they were selfish, even if they seemed kind and admirable from the outside.Especially politicians, who blatantly called for media to publicize their charity activities to raise their reputation in the populace disgusted me.Even though I say all that, I couldn't say I was all that better than others either. Probably, all the good things I did were also because I was similarly selfish. I felt worthless and wanted to feel better about myself this way...This makes me even worse than ones I once secretly looked down upon.I don't know why I feel so attached to humanity when I didn't even try my best when I was one, but one simply understands something's worth when it's lost. If I had a chance now, I would probably be more different, a better person.I feel I'm losing humanity every time I eat the raw bloody flesh of what I've hunted. I feel I'm losing humanity whenever I'm searching for prey to kill...I'm struggling between adapting to new life and not wanting to forget the previous one at the same time.I just...do not know what I want anymore. I feel lost, and it's not the first time. My process of thoughts has always been messy, full of complications....But I'm not alone now. My worries fade away when I'm with Celine. Though she must be about 14 or 15, not much of a kid anymore, she has that child's innocence and kindness retained. I feel so much more relaxed with her than I ever felt with rows upon rows of people, who were all either fake, scheming or hard to see through.Being true to oneself is one, but being true to another feels much more fulfilling....I guess I was too distracted. Alright, back to reality!When I hunted, I didn't go too far from her so unforeseen events wouldn't occur.After dropping another crab-like monster from high altitude, a sweet ding sound rang from the system. 30/30 Exp lit up with a golden color on status screen and changed into 1/90 while level indicator changed from 1 to 2. Prey eliminated+2 Exp Level up!Gained: 24 skill points, 0.5 stat points+0.5 HP+0.3 Stamina+0.03 Strength+0.1 Agility+0.01 Defense+0.03 Willpower+0.12 Perception Finally! It feels great to feel stronger once again. Name: -Species: BatTitles:Cunning The successful sneak attacks deal +10% damage.Bully +2% damage to the enemies weaker than you, -1% damage to the enemies stronger than you.Eternal Observer +0.5 perceptionHunter hunter +5% damage against foes who initiate the death battle.Sadist +1% damage against anything that has feelings and can feel pain.Samaritan +10% HP restored from all types of healing skills and spells.Level 2/51/90 ExpSkill points: 24Stat points: 0.5Trait: Nocturnal +10% all stats at night and dark places, increased vision at night.Stats:2.8/2.8 HP1.9/1.9 Stamina0 ManaStrength: 0.76Agility: 0.79Defense: 0.05Tenacity: 0.00Willpower: 0.3Perception: 1.5Luck: 0.3 Locked3% crit rateSkills:Night vision: 21Vigilance: 17Slumber: 9Flying: 22Echolocation: 24Sneak: 11Bite: 15Scratch: 13Deception: 3Intimidation: 24Throw: 2 I screeched happily and gently landed on Celine's shoulder.'You leveled up? Good job, mister bat.' She beamed and ruffled my head. Ah, another sweet head pat.Hohoho, you've seen nothing little one, this lord is far more amazing than you think.Celine giggled at my boastful expression.'Ah, mister bat, how about I give you a name?'She jumped up in excitement.Genius!I nodded my head without hesitation. Not seeing my name on the status screen was a bit offsetting.'Ok, how about...little bat?'I almost smacked my forehead in exasperation. Her naming sense is as good as every author of wuxia or Xianxia genre light novels.Little bat, that's still okay though. I would vomit blood if I was named little black or something and I'm not even joking!But little bat...still no. I furiously shook my head to express my refusal.'Ah? Why? It sounds so cute...' Celine refuted with a disappointed expression.'Ah, I know, how about...little black?' Her eyes shone with brilliant light.All of a sudden I felt dizzy and fell to the ground.'Ah, mister bat, what's wrong? Are you hurt? Are you feeling okay?'I was gently lifted in an embrace. She looked at me tearfully.Damn, not little black, please...just not little black...I jumped on her shoulder, back to normal.Celine heaved a sigh of relief.'You scared me, thank god you are safe.'After a while, she said. 'So, how about little black?'My face twitched. I shook my head even more furiously than last time.'No good? Alright, I'll think of another one later. Eh? There's a small lake here.'She exclaimed in happiness.My heart drummed. It's not like I expected a bath with a little beauty or anything...'Mister bat, let's have a nice bath.' She said excitedly.Oh no, I think a blush appeared on my face.Despite fooling around, my perception never slackened in the least. The lake was safe, otherwise, I would notify her.Hmm? Why did you grab me, Celine? Aah? What are you doing? You mischievous imp...stahp! I'm drowning!I was being washed with dainty white hands, which now looked like a reaper's scythe to me. She even hummed a tune as she washed my feeble bat body.I feel like even my brain is washed away from this torture.'Ah, mister bat, why are you so disobedient? Being dirty is no good. Stop flailing your wings. You're getting me soaked.' Celine complained.I'm drowning, I'm fucking drowning!Ah~I feel so violated~* * *Celine was beaming while she walked. I sat on her shoulder grumpily, with my fur being all puffy after a 'nice' shower.'C'mon mister bat, don't be so angry.' Celine tried consoling me and patted my head.Humph, it's not going to work. I turned my head to the side.Tsundere mode, activate!Hmm?I stopped fooling around and screeched in low voice, then pointed my wing at another direction.'There's no good? Alright.'Celine trusted my sense of direction me after performing greatly for the past few days.*Growl, growlI heard the sound coming from Celine's stomach.Shit! I almost forgot about it. I should find her something to eat, else her pace will drop further and it's never a good idea to stay in one place for too long unless it's secluded.'It's alright, I'm fine.'She gave me a somewhat pained smile, sensing my worried gaze.For the following hours, I've tried to find something edible for a human. Except for weird herbs I wouldn't dare touch, there wasn't even anything else. Celine was getting weaker and weaker.'Ah!'Suddenly, Celine fell on the ground.I flapped my wings and dropped by her side, worried....That's bad.She sprained and bruised her leg. Even her shoes are already beyond worn out and her soles were bleeding...I should have noticed sooner...My heart weighted down. She couldn't continue walking in such condition....This is seriously bad. After all that, is she going to die here?Is there something I can do? Anything?As I was fretting I felt a warm hand on my tiny head.'I'm sorry, mister bat. This is...as far I go.'No.'Thank you for saving me, thank you for being with me. It's time to part.'No!-0.1I have been slapped away.'Leave me, now!'Celine's expression changed, appearing as cold as ice.I refuse!-0.1'Go away!'-0.1-0.1-0.1...'Why are you not leaving? You'll die, sob, sob.'Now she was crying.I won't leave, I'll protect you.My tiny blood-red eyes stared right back at her. My expression said it all.Only silent sobs could be heard in the cave.The torch was extinguished.Slithering and crawling sounds increased in the surroundings. They were now getting more distinct.In the dark cave full of monsters, a little girl was waiting for death to come...Soon, the consistent use of intimidation skill took its toll on me. I was forced to deactivate it, in order to not pass out.Slowly, the monsters started gathering from all around. I felt their gazes, directed at us.Once again, I felt so despairingly powerless.I always thought I was smart, in fact too smart for my own good...I realized by staying there, I would only add one more insignificant bat corpse to the monsters.I'm aware, life isn't a sweet story, where problems are solved one way or another despite everything. Life is that harsh, always was. Now...Hahaha, I know it's stupid...but I promised myself to live without regrets, didn't I? What's this insignificant bat life worth?Sigh, life was never easy, but even then...it was good while it lasted...System, put all my stat points into defense and skill points into Bite.'Mister bat...' I heard a light sobbing sound behind me.Sigh, here we go....1,2,3...6.I looked at the monster corpses with much disappointment.This was what all my effort amounted to. My wings were torn by a gremlin-like monster. Next, my bloodied body was thrown back to Celine, who held me in her hands, bathing me in tears.Now, even if I wanted to, I wouldn't be able to fly to safety.I feel...relieved. This was the right thing to do, but sometimes, the right choice isn't always the correct one.Still, I don't regret. I don't regret I'll die for my stupidity. I regret dying for nothing, I regret being useless.The monsters started approaching. I smelled the disturbing stench coming from their bodies. I felt their evil intentions from their greedy eyes.I hope I won't reincarnate ever again.I just want to die and rest for eternity, becoming nothingness.I closed my eyes, accepting the bitter fate.I felt Celine's trembling hands in her embrace.I'm sorry............
