“Ow, my body..”
I hit my stiff shoulder that is carrying a pile of wood.
I promised myself I would never live as a hogu* again, but it was difficult to throw away the slavish spirit that was deeply ingrained in my bones at once.
(*Hogu: People who are being used and taken for granted by others)
I thought it would be a waste if I didn’t collect these woods, so I brought them all with me. Added by the muscle pain from rolling down the hill, my whole body was all worn out.
“Let’s just think positively. Positively.”
If I didn’t bring these woods home today, I had to stay up all night shivering.
My sisters and I would be able to endure it, but Rose was different. The youngest, who was only five years old, wasn’t able to be breastfed because our mother died from giving birth to her.
Naturally, I have to take care of that child. It was something I woke up to. Even if I made up my mind, it’s not something that I could easily change.
Every winter, she caught a cold, so I had to make a fire.
Poor little thing.
No matter how hard my life was, little Rose did not have it easy.
My heart broke when I thought how the weak little girl would be swayed by life in the future.
Of course, before that, I had to stay alive first.
"Bel, why did you so late?"
"... Sister Melanie."
As soon as I came home, I was greeted by my second sister, Melanie. She was staying at home, chilling while flipping her book. Unlike my eldest sister, she didn't go out much, but the problem was she didn't do housework either.
"Why should I?"
Those were the best words the second sister was best at. She always said that when I asked her if she could help me with some works or take care of our father's meal. She always refused with such an ugly expression on her face.
"I can't get ready because you came late."
"..."
I was dumbfounded and put down the woods that I collected.
I wanted to say 'don't you have hands?' but I wasn't in the mood. I massaged my temple, thinking what I should do with her. Of course, my second sister would not ask me where, when, why, and how badly I got hurt.
"You have to tell me if you're coming home late."
"If anyone hear that, they might thought you are worried about me."
"What? Bella, what did you just--"
"Enough. Just look at it, you can tell what made me late."
I turned and waved my hand around.
Melanie, who was looking at me puzzledly, picked up the book again. She must have thought she heard it wrong.
Gosh, this bookworm.
My second sister was very well-behaved, but there was a reason why she became like that. Melanie, who loved books and studying, had one dream since long time ago.
Graduating from the best Academy in the Empire and becoming the Head of Platina Guild. It was similar to wanting to graduate from S university and join S Electronics*.
(*Refers to one of the most prestigious universities and electronics giant from South Korea)
Unfortunately, however, she was automatically dropped out from the Academy because she had to run away with our father at night.
She had it better than me, who never been near the Academy, but I could guess how much the shock of forcing her to give up her dreams because of our father's greediness.
"..."
Forget it. Now, I had other things to think about.
Having a more serious situation to worry about, I hid the bitterness. If we died, then that was it. Whether you went to the Academy or not, when you're going to end up looking like a piece of meat, you don't have to understand everyone's problem.
"Sister, what are you saying you're not ready for? Didn't you just say something about preparation?"
"He's definitely ready for his father."
"What?"
"Today's the day he's coming back. Did you forget?"
This time, Melanie was looking at me seriously.
Until this morning, we discussed whether to leave the food preparing for father to the third child, who was busy.
"Ah."
I opened my mouth as I looked at her.
Another thing I didn't want to remember came into my mind.
My father, who left to the North for business, sent us a letter that he would be returning today.
Today was the day when he came back with a big bomb, saying that he had a gift for his loved ones.
"... Why does it have to be today?"
How could the progress was this fast?
No matter if this is a R-rated novel or not, it's too much. When I paid my own money to read it, I complained about it as there were so many lame explanations, but how is it okay to take several lives so quickly.
"This is crazy."
"Huh? What did you say, sister?"
"Rose."
I looked down at a cute creature pulling my old skirt, who stole my whole heart with her blinking and looking like an angel.
"Let me look at our little princess!"
"Sister!"
Rose hung on me and smiled broadly. I bent my knees and cupped my cheek as if I were looking at a chick following its mother.
Ah yes, this feeling!
Now I remember how much I hold on to this soft feeling.
Just like Rose had to look up to me as a mother, I've lived for Rose in this house with indifferent people.
Us, four sisters, looked alike. But among us, Rose's hair and eyes looked like me the most.
"Oh my god, whose little sister is this pretty?"
"Your little sister!"
And don't forget she was this smart.
For the first time after remembering my memories, I forgot all my worries.
I stroked Rose's platinum hair.
The thought of a child who didn't even do any wrong made me shudder—this time, I have to cool-headed and think clearly.
Let's see, where I could find a way to live, even one more day.
Before father came home and dropped the bomb, I had to come up with a good plan.
He was my father, but his words were inconvertible. Once he made up his mind, he could send Elijah away at any moment.
"Rose, have you seen eldest sister by any chance?"
I looked around and suddenly remembered about my eldest sister, who would be the center of this problem.
If my eldest sister was home, there's nothing to worry about. Even though she was a noble lady, I could hardly count the days when my eldest sister came home. And the reasons were very simple and instinctive.
Either lack of man, or short of money.
"Sister Elijah? I saw her at downtown."
"Is that so? Then, let's go see her."
I took Rose's hand and opened the door. The creaking, old sound seemed to show the future of this family as if it were a haunted house.
"Rose, where did you see her? Hm?"
We hurried out of the narrow road. When my father returned, I am going to start a family meeting. But before that, I had to find my eldest sister and negotiated about it.
Rose waved her little hands and answered confidently.
"Yes, I saw her near the watermill."
"What?"
"The water mill. I saw her went that way. Follow me, sister!"
"No, Rose. You wait here, I will go there."
I let go of Rose's hand and turned the child around to usher her back home. Rose, who didn't know anything, pouted her lips to show that she wanted to go with me. But, there were places that I could bring her along to and places that I couldn't.
And the place where my eldest sister was, was most definitely, the latter one.
"Oh, Max. Why didn't you come to pick me up early, knowing that I'm staying at Eugene's place?"
"I'm so sorry, Eljiah. My mother wouldn't let me go.."
"Huh.. I thought you forgot about me."
"That's impossible!"
A shocked man's voice echoed through the piles of straw and wood.
"How could I forget about you, Elijah? Those beautiful eyes, nose, and lips."
"Max…"
It didn't take long before the two people become mushy with each other.
Seeing the two of them clinging to each other as if they were about to eat each other, I was completely in shock.
Wow, do you know what's going on because of you now?
Seeing my eldest sister wrapped her arms around the man's neck so easily, something that I had barely suppressed came up.
It's not like I've never read about it once or twice. Even if I haven't seen Elijah like that in person, she was actually portrayed like this.
Elijah embraced the man's neck with her pale purple eyes staring at him like she was longing for something.
They didn't even realize that someone's watching.
"..."
Somehow, I hate this.
As the scenes in the novel unfolded so vividly, I felt strange again.
If it wasn't for my life and death, I was excited to see how passionate those two people would be.
I didn't know that my eldest sister's appearance is similar to mine, so I was even more upset.
Some people were struggling to grab hold of the ropes of life, while others were grabbing some man's neck.
I couldn't stand the overwhelming irony inside me, so I coughed out loud.
"Ahem!"
"Hm? W-who.. Ah, it was you, Bella." She sighed.
What's with that relieved sounded voice.
My eldest sister, who seemed to yelp at first, sighed in relief as soon as she saw me coming out from behind the pile of straw.
Thankfully, her lover, Max, was a man who had a small amount of shame.
"Elijah, w-we should--"
"No, it's okay. It is just Bella."
"..."
Huh, I ran my hand in my hair.
Hearing that word, I could see well how my eldest sister had thought of me.
It's not just some fool, but a fool of the fool whom, by chance, had a pair of eyes.
It would be better if she yelled at me to get out. But she just giggled as if she was looking at a puppet.
“Ow, my body..”
I hit my stiff shoulder that is carrying a pile of wood.
I promised myself I would never live as a hogu* again, but it was difficult to throw away the slavish spirit that was deeply ingrained in my bones at once.
(*Hogu: People who are being used and taken for granted by others)
I thought it would be a waste if I didn’t collect these woods, so I brought them all with me. Added by the muscle pain from rolling down the hill, my whole body was all worn out.
“Let’s just think positively. Positively.”
If I didn’t bring these woods home today, I had to stay up all night shivering.
My sisters and I would be able to endure it, but Rose was different. The youngest, who was only five years old, wasn’t able to be breastfed because our mother died from giving birth to her.
Naturally, I have to take care of that child. It was something I woke up to. Even if I made up my mind, it’s not something that I could easily change.
Every winter, she caught a cold, so I had to make a fire.
Poor little thing.
No matter how hard my life was, little Rose did not have it easy.
My heart broke when I thought how the weak little girl would be swayed by life in the future.
Of course, before that, I had to stay alive first.
"Bel, why did you so late?"
"... Sister Melanie."
As soon as I came home, I was greeted by my second sister, Melanie. She was staying at home, chilling while flipping her book. Unlike my eldest sister, she didn't go out much, but the problem was she didn't do housework either.
"Why should I?"
Those were the best words the second sister was best at. She always said that when I asked her if she could help me with some works or take care of our father's meal. She always refused with such an ugly expression on her face.
"I can't get ready because you came late."
"..."
I was dumbfounded and put down the woods that I collected.
I wanted to say 'don't you have hands?' but I wasn't in the mood. I massaged my temple, thinking what I should do with her. Of course, my second sister would not ask me where, when, why, and how badly I got hurt.
"You have to tell me if you're coming home late."
"If anyone hear that, they might thought you are worried about me."
"What? Bella, what did you just--"
"Enough. Just look at it, you can tell what made me late."
I turned and waved my hand around.
Melanie, who was looking at me puzzledly, picked up the book again. She must have thought she heard it wrong.
Gosh, this bookworm.
My second sister was very well-behaved, but there was a reason why she became like that. Melanie, who loved books and studying, had one dream since long time ago.
Graduating from the best Academy in the Empire and becoming the Head of Platina Guild. It was similar to wanting to graduate from S university and join S Electronics*.
(*Refers to one of the most prestigious universities and electronics giant from South Korea)
Unfortunately, however, she was automatically dropped out from the Academy because she had to run away with our father at night.
She had it better than me, who never been near the Academy, but I could guess how much the shock of forcing her to give up her dreams because of our father's greediness.
"..."
Forget it. Now, I had other things to think about.
Having a more serious situation to worry about, I hid the bitterness. If we died, then that was it. Whether you went to the Academy or not, when you're going to end up looking like a piece of meat, you don't have to understand everyone's problem.
"Sister, what are you saying you're not ready for? Didn't you just say something about preparation?"
"He's definitely ready for his father."
"What?"
"Today's the day he's coming back. Did you forget?"
This time, Melanie was looking at me seriously.
Until this morning, we discussed whether to leave the food preparing for father to the third child, who was busy.
"Ah."
I opened my mouth as I looked at her.
Another thing I didn't want to remember came into my mind.
My father, who left to the North for business, sent us a letter that he would be returning today.
Today was the day when he came back with a big bomb, saying that he had a gift for his loved ones.
"... Why does it have to be today?"
How could the progress was this fast?
No matter if this is a R-rated novel or not, it's too much. When I paid my own money to read it, I complained about it as there were so many lame explanations, but how is it okay to take several lives so quickly.
"This is crazy."
"Huh? What did you say, sister?"
"Rose."
I looked down at a cute creature pulling my old skirt, who stole my whole heart with her blinking and looking like an angel.
"Let me look at our little princess!"
"Sister!"
Rose hung on me and smiled broadly. I bent my knees and cupped my cheek as if I were looking at a chick following its mother.
Ah yes, this feeling!
Now I remember how much I hold on to this soft feeling.
Just like Rose had to look up to me as a mother, I've lived for Rose in this house with indifferent people.
Us, four sisters, looked alike. But among us, Rose's hair and eyes looked like me the most.
"Oh my god, whose little sister is this pretty?"
"Your little sister!"
And don't forget she was this smart.
For the first time after remembering my memories, I forgot all my worries.
I stroked Rose's platinum hair.
The thought of a child who didn't even do any wrong made me shudder—this time, I have to cool-headed and think clearly.
Let's see, where I could find a way to live, even one more day.
Before father came home and dropped the bomb, I had to come up with a good plan.
He was my father, but his words were inconvertible. Once he made up his mind, he could send Elijah away at any moment.
"Rose, have you seen eldest sister by any chance?"
I looked around and suddenly remembered about my eldest sister, who would be the center of this problem.
If my eldest sister was home, there's nothing to worry about. Even though she was a noble lady, I could hardly count the days when my eldest sister came home. And the reasons were very simple and instinctive.
Either lack of man, or short of money.
"Sister Elijah? I saw her at downtown."
"Is that so? Then, let's go see her."
I took Rose's hand and opened the door. The creaking, old sound seemed to show the future of this family as if it were a haunted house.
"Rose, where did you see her? Hm?"
We hurried out of the narrow road. When my father returned, I am going to start a family meeting. But before that, I had to find my eldest sister and negotiated about it.
Rose waved her little hands and answered confidently.
"Yes, I saw her near the watermill."
"What?"
"The water mill. I saw her went that way. Follow me, sister!"
"No, Rose. You wait here, I will go there."
I let go of Rose's hand and turned the child around to usher her back home. Rose, who didn't know anything, pouted her lips to show that she wanted to go with me. But, there were places that I could bring her along to and places that I couldn't.
And the place where my eldest sister was, was most definitely, the latter one.
"Oh, Max. Why didn't you come to pick me up early, knowing that I'm staying at Eugene's place?"
"I'm so sorry, Eljiah. My mother wouldn't let me go.."
"Huh.. I thought you forgot about me."
"That's impossible!"
A shocked man's voice echoed through the piles of straw and wood.
"How could I forget about you, Elijah? Those beautiful eyes, nose, and lips."
"Max…"
It didn't take long before the two people become mushy with each other.
Seeing the two of them clinging to each other as if they were about to eat each other, I was completely in shock.
Wow, do you know what's going on because of you now?
Seeing my eldest sister wrapped her arms around the man's neck so easily, something that I had barely suppressed came up.
It's not like I've never read about it once or twice. Even if I haven't seen Elijah like that in person, she was actually portrayed like this.
Elijah embraced the man's neck with her pale purple eyes staring at him like she was longing for something.
They didn't even realize that someone's watching.
"..."
Somehow, I hate this.
As the scenes in the novel unfolded so vividly, I felt strange again.
If it wasn't for my life and death, I was excited to see how passionate those two people would be.
I didn't know that my eldest sister's appearance is similar to mine, so I was even more upset.
Some people were struggling to grab hold of the ropes of life, while others were grabbing some man's neck.
I couldn't stand the overwhelming irony inside me, so I coughed out loud.
"Ahem!"
"Hm? W-who.. Ah, it was you, Bella." She sighed.
What's with that relieved sounded voice.
My eldest sister, who seemed to yelp at first, sighed in relief as soon as she saw me coming out from behind the pile of straw.
Thankfully, her lover, Max, was a man who had a small amount of shame.
"Elijah, w-we should--"
"No, it's okay. It is just Bella."
"..."
Huh, I ran my hand in my hair.
Hearing that word, I could see well how my eldest sister had thought of me.
It's not just some fool, but a fool of the fool whom, by chance, had a pair of eyes.
It would be better if she yelled at me to get out. But she just giggled as if she was looking at a puppet.
