Chapter 42: 42
If audio player doesn't work, press Stop then Play button again
Hikaru tried to explain how Mirage had almost been shanghaied by a pirating publishing company and how they were signing with Inline to Risa and Shizuoka during lunch.
"I don't understand," Risa said doubtfully while kicking her feet. "All this time you're saying Takeshi-san has been a celebrity manager and now you're signing with his company?"
Shizuoka asked before Hikaru could reply again, "Why didn't he tell you?"
Hikaru said uncomfortably, "He didn't not tell me, and he's not one particular celebrity's manager, he's the general manager of the company, just like he said."
Her friends were doubtful about the whole situation and Hikaru got a little angry and said finally, "Kiri is willing to quit and find some other job if things get too difficult or if I ask him to! If he's willing to go so far, I don't see why you won't trust him. Why do you think this was some plot?"
Risa replied anxiously, "We're just worried about you. Did he really say he'd quit?"
Hikaru told them reluctantly, "He promised me on our first date, that if I couldn't stand his job after six months, he'd change it. And last night he was talking about taking the new Field Manager position or taking a different job entirely if it was too much of a conflict."
"Wow," Shizuoka said.
Hikaru said unhappily, "I don't want Kiri to have to change his job. He loves his job sometimes, and not everyone is that lucky."
Risa hugged her and said quietly, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was that serious about you. I just worried that he was playing around or that maybe he pushed this contract without you knowing."
Hikaru sighed and laid her head on the table. "Why does it have to be so complicated?"
--
After school she called Ryuske. He picked up immediately and told her, "Come home, I mean, to your mom's place. I came over early after talking to her on the phone a while."
"Oh," Hikaru replied. "OK, I'll be there soon."
"See you," he said.
When she got there, she found Miri and Ryuske sitting across the little table arguing over the paperwork between them.
"Hi?" she greeted them uncertainly.
Ryuske ran his hands through his hair and said, "Hey." He summoned up a smile for her.
Hikaru looked at him sitting there, and suddenly she realized who 'Don't Go' was for. But she couldn't say anything in front of her mother.
Miri stood up and ran to hug her daughter. Hikaru hugged her gently and told her, "You look more pregnant everyday."
Miri grumped, "Don't try to change the subject!"
Hikaru laughed and said, "Sorry, I guess you better tell me what the subject is."
Miri glared at her daughter and declared, "Your contract!"
Hikaru smiled a little sadly and said, "I thought you'd be glad. I never imagined you wouldn't be willing to sign for me."
Miri replied fretfully, "You have no idea how tough things were at the beginning for Akira, or how many demands the production company made on the guys."
Hikaru said quietly, "No, but I know he loved it. He always told us how lucky he was to be able to support us while doing what he loved."
Miri sighed and Ryuske said, "I've tried to reassure her that I'll do my best to protect you from the worst of it."
Hikaru looked at him and told him, "You don't have to. I want to do this. I'm not as good a musician as my father was," Ryuske and Miri both interrupted with protests.
"You are," they insisted.
Hikaru grinned wryly at them and said, "I'm not saying I'm a bad musician, but Ryuske, you're closer to being like him. He wrote music, I just play it. And I love playing it, I'm fine with that."
Ryuske looked at her and said seriously, "You will write it, when you're ready."
Hikaru opened her mouth to protest, but then changed what she was going to say, "It doesn't matter. What is wrong with the contract mom? Takeda-san has already helped us out, but he can't get the legal teams to work for us until we're official."
"Why won't Kiri be your manager?" Miri asked fretfully.
"He knows that relationships rarely survive the entertainment industry as well as your marriage did Miri," Ryuske answered before Hikaru. "As reluctant as I am to trust him, I think he meant it," he said while looking at Hikaru.
Hikaru nodded.
Ryuske closed his eyes and took a deep breath before smiling at her and then asking Miri, "Would it help if you meet Takeda-san personally?"
"Kiri said we're lucky to have caught his interest," Hikaru offered.
They both looked up at her with surprise.
Hikaru settled at the table and picked up the contract. The clause Kiri had suggested had been added. "What did Taka-ji have to say about it?" she asked her mother.
Miri sighed and sat at the table again. She took a sip of her tea and poured a cup for Hikaru before answering. "He said it was an amazing contract for a new band," she said reluctantly.
Hikaru smiled. But Ryuske clenched his fists and said unhappily, "But with me in it, it's not exactly a new band to Inline. They already know they can sell my work."
Hikaru leaned over and put her arm around him. "Are you really going to be OK with it?" she asked.
"As long as you're with me," he replied quietly.
She nodded.
Miri stared at them. "You're both sure about this?"
They nodded.
"What about college?" Miri asked Hikaru.
Hikaru winced and told her, "If my agreeing to go to college is the cost of your approval, I will."
Miri stared at her. After a moment she asked, "What does Kiri think?"
Hikaru hesitated. "I'm not sure, before he said he definitely thought I should go, but last night he said he's been thinking about my job, that he'd been trying to ignore it before, but will try to support me in it. I don't know. I don't want him to have to quit his job though," she said unhappily.
Ryuske stared at her in surprise. "Why would he quit?" he asked.
Hikaru explained. When she finished, they talked about the contract, the video projects and proposed recording schedules.
Eventually Miri sighed and said, "Alright, I'll sign for you."
Hikaru smiled and scooted around to hug her. "Thank you."
Miri looked at Ryuske and asked, "You promise to take care of my daughter?"
"Mom!" protested Hikaru. "Don't make it sound like you're marrying me off."
Ryuske laughed and promised Miri, "Always."
Miri looked at Hikaru and said seriously, "Your father was as married to the band as he was to me. You'll have to remember to show Kiri-kun that you love and think of him everyday, because it's not easy feeling like you might be in second place to the music."
Hikaru looked at her mother with something like shock. She'd thought her parents had been the happiest and most loving couple in the world. "Did you worry?" she asked after a moment.
"Not really," her mother said with a gentle, wistful smile. "Akira always made sure I knew how much he loved me. And I knew how much music meant to him, so I was jealous of it sometimes, but I never wanted him to give it up. But I listened to the heartaches of many people who weren't so lucky."
Miri insisted they stay to dinner after the contract was signed. At dinner Izumi asked if Ryuske was Hikaru's new boyfriend.
Hikaru stiffened but before she could reply angrily, Ryuske said in a tone of mock suffering, "I'm hurt that you have forgotten me so easily."
Izumi stared at him and asked, "What?"
Ryuske smiled at Izumi and said, "We played at your wedding. Miri-chan is very dear to all of us, I hope you're taking good care of her."
"Of course I am!" Izumi snapped.
Ryuske smiled calmly and said, "I'm glad."
Miri grinned at him, and dinner finished peacefully. Miri hugged and kissed them both when they left. "I'm really looking forward to the first music video!" she said.
Hikaru laughed as they walked to the bus stop. Ryuske smiled at her. Hikaru took a deep breath and asked suddenly, "Do you love me?"
"Yes," he answered without looking at her.
"I mean love, love?" Hikaru asked, watching him.
"Yes," he said again. But he looked away from her.
"I'm sorry," Hikaru said unhappily.
"Don't be," he said and took her hand.
"But," she started to say.
"Hikaru," he interrupted, "I love you, but I love Aisha more. That's why I never said anything."
"He's dead," Hikaru replied. Ryuske swallowed and she apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"I know," Ryuske told her and squeezed her hand.
"I don't love you like I love Kiri," Hikaru said.
"I know," he replied again. "And this will sound really stupid and cliché, but if you're happy, I'm happy," he told her while looking into her eyes.
"Really?" she asked uncertainly.
"Yes," he answered calmly, and raised a hand to touch her cheek.
"I'm really happy with Kiri," she told him.
He smiled at her and said, "Then you can have him. I'm sorry I got so upset. I was just afraid he'd been using you. Or that I'd lose you."
"He wouldn't do that! And I love you, just not like that, you won't lose me." Hikaru protested.
Ryuske nodded and said, "That's enough for me."
Hikaru sighed and he squeezed her hand again and told her firmly, "I mean it."
"I don't want you to be lonely, you never date like Rin," Hikaru complained.
"I've tried dating," he said uncomfortably. "I didn't really like it. Maybe I'm a little broken. Both of my loves have been unrequited," he pointed out with a wry smile.
Hikaru looked at him unhappily and said, "Sorry."
Ryuske sighed and told her, "Don't be, I'm not unhappy this way. I don't have that need for it that everyone else seems to. I need music like that. Even when I said I wasn't going to play again, I was learning and teaching music."
Hikaru clung to his hand and said, "Rin told me everyone needs something different from love."
Ryuske looked at her in surprise and nodded. "Yes."
"OK," she said.
Ryuske smiled at her and she smiled back.
They rode the bus downtown and Ryuske hugged her before walking off. "Thank you," he told her.
"Why?" Hikaru asked.
"Do you remember how we met?" he asked.
"Yes of course?" she replied.
He grinned and asked, "And the first line of the song you played for me?"
"I'm just a bachelor, looking for a partner," she sang lightly.
He nodded. "That's when I knew," he said quietly. "Thanks for being my partner. Making music together is all I need."
"OK," she replied.
"See you," he said with a grin.
"See you," she returned, and he walked off. She waited for the bus home and wondered if she should tell Kiri.
--
When she got home, the house felt empty. Tokiko was gone, but she'd left instructions on how to finish the dinner she'd prepared. Hikaru smiled in amusement at the thought that Kiri got not only his pretty looks but his enjoyment in feeding her from his mother.
She sighed. She missed him like crazy, but if he liked to travel, she didn't want him to quit doing it for her. But she really wished she could hug him and sleep beside him.
'Are you busy?' she messaged.
'Yeah, but if you're free, I'll call in awhile," he replied almost instantly.
'Just homework left tonight. Please call, I miss you,' she sent back.
'I will, love you,' he sent.
'Love you too,' she finished.
She stored the food for tomorrow and worked on her homework. When Kiri called it was a video call. Hikaru almost dropped the phone in surprise.
Kiri laughed, and said with a grin, "So cute."
Hikaru blushed and replied, "I wasn't expecting a video call."
Kiri grinned and suggested teasingly, "Too bad I caught you with all your clothes on?"
Hikaru stared at him in shock.
"Joking?" he suggested lightly.
"I guess I could take off clothes if you really wanted," she said, looking away from her phone.
"I love you, and someday when you think that would be fun, hell yes, but right now, no Hikaru," he told her firmly.
She looked back and he smiled at her. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes," he said. "How is everything going?"
"Ryuske loves me," she blurted out.
Kiri's smile vanished and he replied, "I know."
Hikaru gaped at him and asked, "How did you know? I didn't know until today."
Kiri raised an eyebrow at her and told her, "It seemed kind of obvious, especially with the new song."
"Oh," she replied.
"And?" he enquired.
"And?" she repeated blankly.
"Of course I do," she replied and Kiri froze. She rushed on, "But not like that, not like I love you!"
Kiri opened his mouth and then shut it again.
Hikaru asked anxiously, "Should I have not told you? I didn't know if I should tell you, but I thought it might be worse not to tell you."
"I don't know," he said after a minute. "It doesn't make me happy, but I already guessed it. How did it come up?" he asked a little plaintively.
Hikaru blushed and said with embarrassment, "I asked. All of a sudden, when I went to talk to mom about the contract and he was sitting at the table where they'd been arguing, he smiled at me and I realized 'Don't Go' was to me. So after we left, I asked."
Kiri smiled tremulously at her.
Hikaru told him anxiously, "He said it's fine like this, that music is enough." Kiri didn't say anything and she said unhappily, "I don't know how to reassure you. I love you, I wish I could hold you. I guess I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's OK," Kiri said.
"You don't look like it's OK," she worried.
He smiled a little and replied, "I have only been gone a couple days, and so much is happening to you, and I can't even touch you. It makes me feel anxious."
Hikaru told him, "When you get home we'll touch a lot."
"Yes," he agreed.
"Kiri?" she asked.
"What?" he asked in return.
"Will you please tell me whenever I'm making you feel anxious, and if there's anything I can do to make you feel reassured?" Hikaru begged.
He looked at her a little ruefully. "Sorry,"he said quietly, "I feel a little anxious, but I don't know what you can do about it, and I didn't mean to make you worry more."
"I really love you Kiri," she told him seriously.
He smiled and replied, "I love you too."
"Mom said that musicians make people wonder if they're coming second if they're not careful," Hikaru said anxiously.
Kiri grinned at her and said lightly, "I know very well that music comes first, it's why I had a rule against dating musicians."
Hikaru stared at him. "You don't come second," she protested.
Wryly he asked, "Would you give up music for me?"
Hikaru gazed at him unhappily, then she looked at her guitar. She swallowed.
"You don't have to answer that," he told her gently.
"I could give up being in the band, if you really needed me to," she said miserably, "but I don't think I could give up playing entirely."
Kiri stared at her with shock written all over his face. After a moment he closed his open mouth and swallowed. "Hikaru," he said uncertainly.
She looked at him and told him, "I hope you won't ask me to. I think I'd feel miserable. But I don't want to give you up either."
"I won't ask you to, I'm, god, I love you so freaking much Hikaru," he replied with a crack in his voice.
"Me too," she told him quickly.
"I know that music is like air to you," Kiri said anxiously, "you might stop breathing if I asked, but it would kill you and I'd be miserable for the rest of my life! I'll never ask you to give it up."
Hikaru smiled shakily and asked, "Why did you ask then?"
Kiri blushed and looked away. "I really didn't think you loved me enough that you'd even consider it," he said almost too quietly for her to hear.
"I do," she replied.
He looked back and said a little breathlessly, "Yeah. Me too."
Then they talked about anything, nothing, and everything, both reluctant to end the call. Eventually they said goodnight.
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
Hikaru tried to explain how Mirage had almost been shanghaied by a pirating publishing company and how they were signing with Inline to Risa and Shizuoka during lunch.
"I don't understand," Risa said doubtfully while kicking her feet. "All this time you're saying Takeshi-san has been a celebrity manager and now you're signing with his company?"
Shizuoka asked before Hikaru could reply again, "Why didn't he tell you?"
Hikaru said uncomfortably, "He didn't not tell me, and he's not one particular celebrity's manager, he's the general manager of the company, just like he said."
Her friends were doubtful about the whole situation and Hikaru got a little angry and said finally, "Kiri is willing to quit and find some other job if things get too difficult or if I ask him to! If he's willing to go so far, I don't see why you won't trust him. Why do you think this was some plot?"
Risa replied anxiously, "We're just worried about you. Did he really say he'd quit?"
Hikaru told them reluctantly, "He promised me on our first date, that if I couldn't stand his job after six months, he'd change it. And last night he was talking about taking the new Field Manager position or taking a different job entirely if it was too much of a conflict."
"Wow," Shizuoka said.
Hikaru said unhappily, "I don't want Kiri to have to change his job. He loves his job sometimes, and not everyone is that lucky."
Risa hugged her and said quietly, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was that serious about you. I just worried that he was playing around or that maybe he pushed this contract without you knowing."
Hikaru sighed and laid her head on the table. "Why does it have to be so complicated?"
--
After school she called Ryuske. He picked up immediately and told her, "Come home, I mean, to your mom's place. I came over early after talking to her on the phone a while."
"Oh," Hikaru replied. "OK, I'll be there soon."
"See you," he said.
When she got there, she found Miri and Ryuske sitting across the little table arguing over the paperwork between them.
"Hi?" she greeted them uncertainly.
Ryuske ran his hands through his hair and said, "Hey." He summoned up a smile for her.
Hikaru looked at him sitting there, and suddenly she realized who 'Don't Go' was for. But she couldn't say anything in front of her mother.
Miri stood up and ran to hug her daughter. Hikaru hugged her gently and told her, "You look more pregnant everyday."
Miri grumped, "Don't try to change the subject!"
Hikaru laughed and said, "Sorry, I guess you better tell me what the subject is."
Miri glared at her daughter and declared, "Your contract!"
Hikaru smiled a little sadly and said, "I thought you'd be glad. I never imagined you wouldn't be willing to sign for me."
Miri replied fretfully, "You have no idea how tough things were at the beginning for Akira, or how many demands the production company made on the guys."
Hikaru said quietly, "No, but I know he loved it. He always told us how lucky he was to be able to support us while doing what he loved."
Miri sighed and Ryuske said, "I've tried to reassure her that I'll do my best to protect you from the worst of it."
Hikaru looked at him and told him, "You don't have to. I want to do this. I'm not as good a musician as my father was," Ryuske and Miri both interrupted with protests.
"You are," they insisted.
Hikaru grinned wryly at them and said, "I'm not saying I'm a bad musician, but Ryuske, you're closer to being like him. He wrote music, I just play it. And I love playing it, I'm fine with that."
Ryuske looked at her and said seriously, "You will write it, when you're ready."
Hikaru opened her mouth to protest, but then changed what she was going to say, "It doesn't matter. What is wrong with the contract mom? Takeda-san has already helped us out, but he can't get the legal teams to work for us until we're official."
"Why won't Kiri be your manager?" Miri asked fretfully.
"He knows that relationships rarely survive the entertainment industry as well as your marriage did Miri," Ryuske answered before Hikaru. "As reluctant as I am to trust him, I think he meant it," he said while looking at Hikaru.
Hikaru nodded.
Ryuske closed his eyes and took a deep breath before smiling at her and then asking Miri, "Would it help if you meet Takeda-san personally?"
"Kiri said we're lucky to have caught his interest," Hikaru offered.
They both looked up at her with surprise.
Hikaru settled at the table and picked up the contract. The clause Kiri had suggested had been added. "What did Taka-ji have to say about it?" she asked her mother.
Miri sighed and sat at the table again. She took a sip of her tea and poured a cup for Hikaru before answering. "He said it was an amazing contract for a new band," she said reluctantly.
Hikaru smiled. But Ryuske clenched his fists and said unhappily, "But with me in it, it's not exactly a new band to Inline. They already know they can sell my work."
Hikaru leaned over and put her arm around him. "Are you really going to be OK with it?" she asked.
"As long as you're with me," he replied quietly.
She nodded.
Miri stared at them. "You're both sure about this?"
They nodded.
"What about college?" Miri asked Hikaru.
Hikaru winced and told her, "If my agreeing to go to college is the cost of your approval, I will."
Miri stared at her. After a moment she asked, "What does Kiri think?"
Hikaru hesitated. "I'm not sure, before he said he definitely thought I should go, but last night he said he's been thinking about my job, that he'd been trying to ignore it before, but will try to support me in it. I don't know. I don't want him to have to quit his job though," she said unhappily.
Ryuske stared at her in surprise. "Why would he quit?" he asked.
Hikaru explained. When she finished, they talked about the contract, the video projects and proposed recording schedules.
Eventually Miri sighed and said, "Alright, I'll sign for you."
Hikaru smiled and scooted around to hug her. "Thank you."
Miri looked at Ryuske and asked, "You promise to take care of my daughter?"
"Mom!" protested Hikaru. "Don't make it sound like you're marrying me off."
Ryuske laughed and promised Miri, "Always."
Miri looked at Hikaru and said seriously, "Your father was as married to the band as he was to me. You'll have to remember to show Kiri-kun that you love and think of him everyday, because it's not easy feeling like you might be in second place to the music."
Hikaru looked at her mother with something like shock. She'd thought her parents had been the happiest and most loving couple in the world. "Did you worry?" she asked after a moment.
"Not really," her mother said with a gentle, wistful smile. "Akira always made sure I knew how much he loved me. And I knew how much music meant to him, so I was jealous of it sometimes, but I never wanted him to give it up. But I listened to the heartaches of many people who weren't so lucky."
Miri insisted they stay to dinner after the contract was signed. At dinner Izumi asked if Ryuske was Hikaru's new boyfriend.
Hikaru stiffened but before she could reply angrily, Ryuske said in a tone of mock suffering, "I'm hurt that you have forgotten me so easily."
Izumi stared at him and asked, "What?"
Ryuske smiled at Izumi and said, "We played at your wedding. Miri-chan is very dear to all of us, I hope you're taking good care of her."
"Of course I am!" Izumi snapped.
Ryuske smiled calmly and said, "I'm glad."
Miri grinned at him, and dinner finished peacefully. Miri hugged and kissed them both when they left. "I'm really looking forward to the first music video!" she said.
Hikaru laughed as they walked to the bus stop. Ryuske smiled at her. Hikaru took a deep breath and asked suddenly, "Do you love me?"
"Yes," he answered without looking at her.
"I mean love, love?" Hikaru asked, watching him.
"Yes," he said again. But he looked away from her.
"I'm sorry," Hikaru said unhappily.
"Don't be," he said and took her hand.
"But," she started to say.
"Hikaru," he interrupted, "I love you, but I love Aisha more. That's why I never said anything."
"He's dead," Hikaru replied. Ryuske swallowed and she apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"
"I know," Ryuske told her and squeezed her hand.
"I don't love you like I love Kiri," Hikaru said.
"I know," he replied again. "And this will sound really stupid and cliché, but if you're happy, I'm happy," he told her while looking into her eyes.
"Really?" she asked uncertainly.
"Yes," he answered calmly, and raised a hand to touch her cheek.
"I'm really happy with Kiri," she told him.
He smiled at her and said, "Then you can have him. I'm sorry I got so upset. I was just afraid he'd been using you. Or that I'd lose you."
"He wouldn't do that! And I love you, just not like that, you won't lose me." Hikaru protested.
Ryuske nodded and said, "That's enough for me."
Hikaru sighed and he squeezed her hand again and told her firmly, "I mean it."
"I don't want you to be lonely, you never date like Rin," Hikaru complained.
"I've tried dating," he said uncomfortably. "I didn't really like it. Maybe I'm a little broken. Both of my loves have been unrequited," he pointed out with a wry smile.
Hikaru looked at him unhappily and said, "Sorry."
Ryuske sighed and told her, "Don't be, I'm not unhappy this way. I don't have that need for it that everyone else seems to. I need music like that. Even when I said I wasn't going to play again, I was learning and teaching music."
Hikaru clung to his hand and said, "Rin told me everyone needs something different from love."
Ryuske looked at her in surprise and nodded. "Yes."
"OK," she said.
Ryuske smiled at her and she smiled back.
They rode the bus downtown and Ryuske hugged her before walking off. "Thank you," he told her.
"Why?" Hikaru asked.
"Do you remember how we met?" he asked.
"Yes of course?" she replied.
He grinned and asked, "And the first line of the song you played for me?"
"I'm just a bachelor, looking for a partner," she sang lightly.
He nodded. "That's when I knew," he said quietly. "Thanks for being my partner. Making music together is all I need."
"OK," she replied.
"See you," he said with a grin.
"See you," she returned, and he walked off. She waited for the bus home and wondered if she should tell Kiri.
--
When she got home, the house felt empty. Tokiko was gone, but she'd left instructions on how to finish the dinner she'd prepared. Hikaru smiled in amusement at the thought that Kiri got not only his pretty looks but his enjoyment in feeding her from his mother.
She sighed. She missed him like crazy, but if he liked to travel, she didn't want him to quit doing it for her. But she really wished she could hug him and sleep beside him.
'Are you busy?' she messaged.
'Yeah, but if you're free, I'll call in awhile," he replied almost instantly.
'Just homework left tonight. Please call, I miss you,' she sent back.
'I will, love you,' he sent.
'Love you too,' she finished.
She stored the food for tomorrow and worked on her homework. When Kiri called it was a video call. Hikaru almost dropped the phone in surprise.
Kiri laughed, and said with a grin, "So cute."
Hikaru blushed and replied, "I wasn't expecting a video call."
Kiri grinned and suggested teasingly, "Too bad I caught you with all your clothes on?"
Hikaru stared at him in shock.
"Joking?" he suggested lightly.
"I guess I could take off clothes if you really wanted," she said, looking away from her phone.
"I love you, and someday when you think that would be fun, hell yes, but right now, no Hikaru," he told her firmly.
She looked back and he smiled at her. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes," he said. "How is everything going?"
"Ryuske loves me," she blurted out.
Kiri's smile vanished and he replied, "I know."
Hikaru gaped at him and asked, "How did you know? I didn't know until today."
Kiri raised an eyebrow at her and told her, "It seemed kind of obvious, especially with the new song."
"Oh," she replied.
"And?" he enquired.
"And?" she repeated blankly.
"Of course I do," she replied and Kiri froze. She rushed on, "But not like that, not like I love you!"
Kiri opened his mouth and then shut it again.
Hikaru asked anxiously, "Should I have not told you? I didn't know if I should tell you, but I thought it might be worse not to tell you."
"I don't know," he said after a minute. "It doesn't make me happy, but I already guessed it. How did it come up?" he asked a little plaintively.
Hikaru blushed and said with embarrassment, "I asked. All of a sudden, when I went to talk to mom about the contract and he was sitting at the table where they'd been arguing, he smiled at me and I realized 'Don't Go' was to me. So after we left, I asked."
Kiri smiled tremulously at her.
Hikaru told him anxiously, "He said it's fine like this, that music is enough." Kiri didn't say anything and she said unhappily, "I don't know how to reassure you. I love you, I wish I could hold you. I guess I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's OK," Kiri said.
"You don't look like it's OK," she worried.
He smiled a little and replied, "I have only been gone a couple days, and so much is happening to you, and I can't even touch you. It makes me feel anxious."
Hikaru told him, "When you get home we'll touch a lot."
"Yes," he agreed.
"Kiri?" she asked.
"What?" he asked in return.
"Will you please tell me whenever I'm making you feel anxious, and if there's anything I can do to make you feel reassured?" Hikaru begged.
He looked at her a little ruefully. "Sorry,"he said quietly, "I feel a little anxious, but I don't know what you can do about it, and I didn't mean to make you worry more."
"I really love you Kiri," she told him seriously.
He smiled and replied, "I love you too."
"Mom said that musicians make people wonder if they're coming second if they're not careful," Hikaru said anxiously.
Kiri grinned at her and said lightly, "I know very well that music comes first, it's why I had a rule against dating musicians."
Hikaru stared at him. "You don't come second," she protested.
Wryly he asked, "Would you give up music for me?"
Hikaru gazed at him unhappily, then she looked at her guitar. She swallowed.
"You don't have to answer that," he told her gently.
"I could give up being in the band, if you really needed me to," she said miserably, "but I don't think I could give up playing entirely."
Kiri stared at her with shock written all over his face. After a moment he closed his open mouth and swallowed. "Hikaru," he said uncertainly.
She looked at him and told him, "I hope you won't ask me to. I think I'd feel miserable. But I don't want to give you up either."
"I won't ask you to, I'm, god, I love you so freaking much Hikaru," he replied with a crack in his voice.
"Me too," she told him quickly.
"I know that music is like air to you," Kiri said anxiously, "you might stop breathing if I asked, but it would kill you and I'd be miserable for the rest of my life! I'll never ask you to give it up."
Hikaru smiled shakily and asked, "Why did you ask then?"
Kiri blushed and looked away. "I really didn't think you loved me enough that you'd even consider it," he said almost too quietly for her to hear.
"I do," she replied.
He looked back and said a little breathlessly, "Yeah. Me too."
Then they talked about anything, nothing, and everything, both reluctant to end the call. Eventually they said goodnight.
Hikaru tried to explain how Mirage had almost been shanghaied by a pirating publishing company and how they were signing with Inline to Risa and Shizuoka during lunch."I don't understand," Risa said doubtfully while kicking her feet. "All this time you're saying Takeshi-san has been a celebrity manager and now you're signing with his company?"Shizuoka asked before Hikaru could reply again, "Why didn't he tell you?"Hikaru said uncomfortably, "He didn't not tell me, and he's not one particular celebrity's manager, he's the general manager of the company, just like he said."Her friends were doubtful about the whole situation and Hikaru got a little angry and said finally, "Kiri is willing to quit and find some other job if things get too difficult or if I ask him to! If he's willing to go so far, I don't see why you won't trust him. Why do you think this was some plot?"Risa replied anxiously, "We're just worried about you. Did he really say he'd quit?"Hikaru told them reluctantly, "He promised me on our first date, that if I couldn't stand his job after six months, he'd change it. And last night he was talking about taking the new Field Manager position or taking a different job entirely if it was too much of a conflict.""Wow," Shizuoka said.Hikaru said unhappily, "I don't want Kiri to have to change his job. He loves his job sometimes, and not everyone is that lucky."Risa hugged her and said quietly, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize he was that serious about you. I just worried that he was playing around or that maybe he pushed this contract without you knowing."Hikaru sighed and laid her head on the table. "Why does it have to be so complicated?"--After school she called Ryuske. He picked up immediately and told her, "Come home, I mean, to your mom's place. I came over early after talking to her on the phone a while.""Oh," Hikaru replied. "OK, I'll be there soon.""See you," he said.When she got there, she found Miri and Ryuske sitting across the little table arguing over the paperwork between them."Hi?" she greeted them uncertainly.Ryuske ran his hands through his hair and said, "Hey." He summoned up a smile for her.Hikaru looked at him sitting there, and suddenly she realized who 'Don't Go' was for. But she couldn't say anything in front of her mother.Miri stood up and ran to hug her daughter. Hikaru hugged her gently and told her, "You look more pregnant everyday."Miri grumped, "Don't try to change the subject!"Hikaru laughed and said, "Sorry, I guess you better tell me what the subject is."Miri glared at her daughter and declared, "Your contract!"Hikaru smiled a little sadly and said, "I thought you'd be glad. I never imagined you wouldn't be willing to sign for me."Miri replied fretfully, "You have no idea how tough things were at the beginning for Akira, or how many demands the production company made on the guys."Hikaru said quietly, "No, but I know he loved it. He always told us how lucky he was to be able to support us while doing what he loved."Miri sighed and Ryuske said, "I've tried to reassure her that I'll do my best to protect you from the worst of it."Hikaru looked at him and told him, "You don't have to. I want to do this. I'm not as good a musician as my father was," Ryuske and Miri both interrupted with protests."You are," they insisted.Hikaru grinned wryly at them and said, "I'm not saying I'm a bad musician, but Ryuske, you're closer to being like him. He wrote music, I just play it. And I love playing it, I'm fine with that."Ryuske looked at her and said seriously, "You will write it, when you're ready."Hikaru opened her mouth to protest, but then changed what she was going to say, "It doesn't matter. What is wrong with the contract mom? Takeda-san has already helped us out, but he can't get the legal teams to work for us until we're official.""Why won't Kiri be your manager?" Miri asked fretfully."He knows that relationships rarely survive the entertainment industry as well as your marriage did Miri," Ryuske answered before Hikaru. "As reluctant as I am to trust him, I think he meant it," he said while looking at Hikaru.Hikaru nodded.Ryuske closed his eyes and took a deep breath before smiling at her and then asking Miri, "Would it help if you meet Takeda-san personally?""Kiri said we're lucky to have caught his interest," Hikaru offered.They both looked up at her with surprise.Hikaru settled at the table and picked up the contract. The clause Kiri had suggested had been added. "What did Taka-ji have to say about it?" she asked her mother.Miri sighed and sat at the table again. She took a sip of her tea and poured a cup for Hikaru before answering. "He said it was an amazing contract for a new band," she said reluctantly.Hikaru smiled. But Ryuske clenched his fists and said unhappily, "But with me in it, it's not exactly a new band to Inline. They already know they can sell my work."Hikaru leaned over and put her arm around him. "Are you really going to be OK with it?" she asked."As long as you're with me," he replied quietly.She nodded.Miri stared at them. "You're both sure about this?"They nodded."What about college?" Miri asked Hikaru.Hikaru winced and told her, "If my agreeing to go to college is the cost of your approval, I will."Miri stared at her. After a moment she asked, "What does Kiri think?"Hikaru hesitated. "I'm not sure, before he said he definitely thought I should go, but last night he said he's been thinking about my job, that he'd been trying to ignore it before, but will try to support me in it. I don't know. I don't want him to have to quit his job though," she said unhappily.Ryuske stared at her in surprise. "Why would he quit?" he asked.Hikaru explained. When she finished, they talked about the contract, the video projects and proposed recording schedules. Eventually Miri sighed and said, "Alright, I'll sign for you."Hikaru smiled and scooted around to hug her. "Thank you."Miri looked at Ryuske and asked, "You promise to take care of my daughter?""Mom!" protested Hikaru. "Don't make it sound like you're marrying me off."Ryuske laughed and promised Miri, "Always."Miri looked at Hikaru and said seriously, "Your father was as married to the band as he was to me. You'll have to remember to show Kiri-kun that you love and think of him everyday, because it's not easy feeling like you might be in second place to the music."Hikaru looked at her mother with something like shock. She'd thought her parents had been the happiest and most loving couple in the world. "Did you worry?" she asked after a moment."Not really," her mother said with a gentle, wistful smile. "Akira always made sure I knew how much he loved me. And I knew how much music meant to him, so I was jealous of it sometimes, but I never wanted him to give it up. But I listened to the heartaches of many people who weren't so lucky."Miri insisted they stay to dinner after the contract was signed. At dinner Izumi asked if Ryuske was Hikaru's new boyfriend. Hikaru stiffened but before she could reply angrily, Ryuske said in a tone of mock suffering, "I'm hurt that you have forgotten me so easily."Izumi stared at him and asked, "What?"Ryuske smiled at Izumi and said, "We played at your wedding. Miri-chan is very dear to all of us, I hope you're taking good care of her.""Of course I am!" Izumi snapped.Ryuske smiled calmly and said, "I'm glad."Miri grinned at him, and dinner finished peacefully. Miri hugged and kissed them both when they left. "I'm really looking forward to the first music video!" she said.Hikaru laughed as they walked to the bus stop. Ryuske smiled at her. Hikaru took a deep breath and asked suddenly, "Do you love me?""Yes," he answered without looking at her."I mean love, love?" Hikaru asked, watching him."Yes," he said again. But he looked away from her."I'm sorry," Hikaru said unhappily."Don't be," he said and took her hand."But," she started to say."Hikaru," he interrupted, "I love you, but I love Aisha more. That's why I never said anything.""He's dead," Hikaru replied. Ryuske swallowed and she apologized, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean""I know," Ryuske told her and squeezed her hand."I don't love you like I love Kiri," Hikaru said."I know," he replied again. "And this will sound really stupid and clich, but if you're happy, I'm happy," he told her while looking into her eyes."Really?" she asked uncertainly."Yes," he answered calmly, and raised a hand to touch her cheek."I'm really happy with Kiri," she told him.He smiled at her and said, "Then you can have him. I'm sorry I got so upset. I was just afraid he'd been using you. Or that I'd lose you.""He wouldn't do that! And I love you, just not like that, you won't lose me." Hikaru protested.Ryuske nodded and said, "That's enough for me."Hikaru sighed and he squeezed her hand again and told her firmly, "I mean it.""I don't want you to be lonely, you never date like Rin," Hikaru complained."I've tried dating," he said uncomfortably. "I didn't really like it. Maybe I'm a little broken. Both of my loves have been unrequited," he pointed out with a wry smile.Hikaru looked at him unhappily and said, "Sorry."Ryuske sighed and told her, "Don't be, I'm not unhappy this way. I don't have that need for it that everyone else seems to. I need music like that. Even when I said I wasn't going to play again, I was learning and teaching music."Hikaru clung to his hand and said, "Rin told me everyone needs something different from love."Ryuske looked at her in surprise and nodded. "Yes.""OK," she said.Ryuske smiled at her and she smiled back.They rode the bus downtown and Ryuske hugged her before walking off. "Thank you," he told her."Why?" Hikaru asked."Do you remember how we met?" he asked."Yes of course?" she replied.He grinned and asked, "And the first line of the song you played for me?""I'm just a bachelor, looking for a partner," she sang lightly.He nodded. "That's when I knew," he said quietly. "Thanks for being my partner. Making music together is all I need.""OK," she replied."See you," he said with a grin."See you," she returned, and he walked off. She waited for the bus home and wondered if she should tell Kiri.--When she got home, the house felt empty. Tokiko was gone, but she'd left instructions on how to finish the dinner she'd prepared. Hikaru smiled in amusement at the thought that Kiri got not only his pretty looks but his enjoyment in feeding her from his mother. She sighed. She missed him like crazy, but if he liked to travel, she didn't want him to quit doing it for her. But she really wished she could hug him and sleep beside him.'Are you busy?' she messaged.'Yeah, but if you're free, I'll call in awhile," he replied almost instantly.'Just homework left tonight. Please call, I miss you,' she sent back.'I will, love you,' he sent.'Love you too,' she finished.She stored the food for tomorrow and worked on her homework. When Kiri called it was a video call. Hikaru almost dropped the phone in surprise.Kiri laughed, and said with a grin, "So cute."Hikaru blushed and replied, "I wasn't expecting a video call."Kiri grinned and suggested teasingly, "Too bad I caught you with all your clothes on?"Hikaru stared at him in shock."Joking?" he suggested lightly."I guess I could take off clothes if you really wanted," she said, looking away from her phone."I love you, and someday when you think that would be fun, hell yes, but right now, no Hikaru," he told her firmly.She looked back and he smiled at her. "Are you sure?" she asked."Yes," he said. "How is everything going?""Ryuske loves me," she blurted out.Kiri's smile vanished and he replied, "I know."Hikaru gaped at him and asked, "How did you know? I didn't know until today."Kiri raised an eyebrow at her and told her, "It seemed kind of obvious, especially with the new song.""Oh," she replied."And?" he enquired."And?" she repeated blankly."Of course I do," she replied and Kiri froze. She rushed on, "But not like that, not like I love you!"Kiri opened his mouth and then shut it again.Hikaru asked anxiously, "Should I have not told you? I didn't know if I should tell you, but I thought it might be worse not to tell you.""I don't know," he said after a minute. "It doesn't make me happy, but I already guessed it. How did it come up?" he asked a little plaintively.Hikaru blushed and said with embarrassment, "I asked. All of a sudden, when I went to talk to mom about the contract and he was sitting at the table where they'd been arguing, he smiled at me and I realized 'Don't Go' was to me. So after we left, I asked."Kiri smiled tremulously at her.Hikaru told him anxiously, "He said it's fine like this, that music is enough." Kiri didn't say anything and she said unhappily, "I don't know how to reassure you. I love you, I wish I could hold you. I guess I shouldn't have said anything.""It's OK," Kiri said."You don't look like it's OK," she worried.He smiled a little and replied, "I have only been gone a couple days, and so much is happening to you, and I can't even touch you. It makes me feel anxious."Hikaru told him, "When you get home we'll touch a lot.""Yes," he agreed."Kiri?" she asked."What?" he asked in return."Will you please tell me whenever I'm making you feel anxious, and if there's anything I can do to make you feel reassured?" Hikaru begged.He looked at her a little ruefully. "Sorry,"he said quietly, "I feel a little anxious, but I don't know what you can do about it, and I didn't mean to make you worry more.""I really love you Kiri," she told him seriously.He smiled and replied, "I love you too.""Mom said that musicians make people wonder if they're coming second if they're not careful," Hikaru said anxiously.Kiri grinned at her and said lightly, "I know very well that music comes first, it's why I had a rule against dating musicians."Hikaru stared at him. "You don't come second," she protested.Wryly he asked, "Would you give up music for me?"Hikaru gazed at him unhappily, then she looked at her guitar. She swallowed."You don't have to answer that," he told her gently."I could give up being in the band, if you really needed me to," she said miserably, "but I don't think I could give up playing entirely."Kiri stared at her with shock written all over his face. After a moment he closed his open mouth and swallowed. "Hikaru," he said uncertainly.She looked at him and told him, "I hope you won't ask me to. I think I'd feel miserable. But I don't want to give you up either.""I won't ask you to, I'm, god, I love you so freaking much Hikaru," he replied with a crack in his voice."Me too," she told him quickly."I know that music is like air to you," Kiri said anxiously, "you might stop breathing if I asked, but it would kill you and I'd be miserable for the rest of my life! I'll never ask you to give it up."Hikaru smiled shakily and asked, "Why did you ask then?"Kiri blushed and looked away. "I really didn't think you loved me enough that you'd even consider it," he said almost too quietly for her to hear."I do," she replied.He looked back and said a little breathlessly, "Yeah. Me too."Then they talked about anything, nothing, and everything, both reluctant to end the call. Eventually they said goodnight.
