536 Paradise
(POV: Lily)
The place was so nostalgic that it brought tears to my eyes.
The room where I’d lived alone for 30 years was small and dim. Although it was only for three months, it was the room where we spent a peaceful life together. The memories of those days shone above anything else.
Yes, this was my home.
“Shut up! Don’t talk like you know people’s feelings, you damned doll!”
In the dimly-lit room, illuminated by the flickering lamp, Kurono was shouting.
Most people would think that he was furious.
But I knew that right now, both the sorrow and suffering were tearing his heart apart.
“Don’t look down on me, Sariel. Listen, I won’t kill you because you used to be Shirasaki. And you won’t kill me either. I’ll keep both of us alive. I won’t yield to you, no matter what—”
Why wasn’t I by his side when he was in so much time? I can’t forgive myself.
But what was even more unforgivable is—
“—And that’s why I’ll take you away from God.”
“I see.”
The Seventh Apostle, Sariel.
How much do you have to make Kurono suffer?
Her very existence is driving him insane, and I didn’t know why.
Aah, why… why? I really don’t understand. I can’t believe it.
That woman was sleeping on my bed. Contrary to Kurono, who was agonizing, she was quiet and expressionless.
It can’t be. That’s my place. That bed, next to Kurono, is a place reserved for me. If I had been there, I’d snuggle up to him, take his hand, and pull him closer.
“It’ll be fine.”
“Don’t cry.”
“I’m with you.”
I’d have tried my best to console him.
“I give all of myself to you.”
Stop, stop it, don’t touch Kurono.
Stop it, stop it, Kurono, don’t touch her—
—She’s our enemy. She has to be killed. You have to kill her. Chop her head off, rip out her heart, tear her limb from limb, then reduce her into ash…
Kill that apostle. Such was my wish. Such was what should’ve happened—
—But why is Kurono touching her so gently?
Powerless as he was, he somehow managed to stretch his bloodied limbs, and embraced Sariel. With trembling fingertips, he removed the sweater that covered her body.
Underneath that, was the body of a broken doll. She was missing her limbs, and was covered in blood. She was hideous and filthy.
Yet, Kurono gently embraced that thing, as if she was someone he cherished.
“—[Over-Ecstasy]”
“—Stop it!”
Thereupon, my vision was cut off.
When I looked up, I no longer saw a dimly-lit hut, but instead a wooden ceiling with a lamp that emitted brilliant light.
I was in the dormitory lounge.
“Li-Lily…”
Kurono was in front of me. He seemed desperate, as if he was in shock—no, as if he’d made an irrevocable mistake.
Why are you making such an expression? Kurono, you haven’t done anything. It wasn’t your fault.
I’m sorry, Kurono. I read your mind without permission.
Therefore, no wonder you pushed me away. I’d see why anyone would get angry.
Hence, it’s only natural for Kurono to push me away.
“…Kurono.”
I’m sorry, forgive me, it’s my fault…
Yet, no words would come out.
I couldn’t muster any word. Kurono, I’m in pain. It hurts so much, I can’t breathe.
Aah, I see, is that so…? No matter how painful it is, Kurono won’t help me anymore.
Kurono had rejected me. He chose Sariel over me.
“—Kurono, it hurts, a-aah…”
My mind went blank.
I couldn’t comprehend anything. I couldn’t accept it. Unacceptable. I didn’t want to admit it—
—However, no matter how much I rejected it, that scene wreaked havoc in my mind.
—The sight of Kurono embracing the bloody Sariel, before sealing her lips using his.
“—Aah, uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah—!!”
I wailed and screamed. Afterwards, I blindly ran away.
After all, Kurono had abandoned me. He had pushed me away. After I saw something I shouldn’t.
Surely, Kurono would never touch me again. Never again would he hold my hand, pat my head, hug him, or sleep together in the same bed.
Oh, I see… I was the one who left…
“Uuh, huwaaa, aaaaahh—!”
Run, run. Keep running. In the endless darkness, anywhere—
—there’s no escape.
I couldn’t live without Kurono. I wanted to go home right away—
“—It’s okay if you don’t go home.”
But then, I heard a voice.
The mysterious voice, which I had heard for the first time, felt nostalgic to me.
Who? My chest, it’s about to burst…
“You don’t have to run away anymore.”
The mysterious voice echoed once again. As soon as it reached my ears, something fell from my chest.
“Ah—”
Instinctively, I tried to catch it, to no avail. Then, there was a high-pitched thump.
It fell to the ground, creating a pool of bright red blood, as if my heart had fallen.
However, what was submerged in blood wasn’t a pulsating organ, but a radiant crimson crystal—[Queen Beryl.]
“…It’s broken.”
Even though [Queen Beryl] was unbreakable. It was a magical artifact that’d been blessed by the Fairy Queen, Iris. Unless it suffered from a tremendous blow, or hit by an advanced magic circle dedicated to dismantlement, it wouldn’t have broken.
Yet, the thing lying at my feet shattered as if it was made by glass. Beautifully split in two from the middle.
It should be a pure crystal, so why?
Blood was gushing out endlessly from within the crack.
“Lily, it doesn’t matter where you go. Because—”
—From the fountain of blood that flowed ceaselessly, light suddenly poured out. The crimson light was both alluring and blinding.
“—As long as Kurono is there, it’s alright.”
I see. It’s my own voice.
After the crimson flash had subsided, I saw a figure in front of me. An adorable, kind, and innocent-looking girl. She was petite and small. The resemblance was uncanny. Least but not last, she was enveloped in a bright red glow.
She looked similar to the guardian spirit who possessed Kurono in [Excelion.]
“You’re… me.”
“Yes, it’s me, Lily. That’s why, Lily, I know everything about you.”
I know right away that it was a lie.
I am me. Both the child and adult versions of myself were two sides of the same coin. Like a split personality, they were one and the same.
Therefore, this spirit, this apparition, who took after my appearance, was just a fake. An evil being who pretended to be me.
“You envy Sariel.”
When I was about to lunge at her, that single line stopped me.
“…I’m not.”
For some reason, my voice was dull.
“You can’t help but be jealous of Sariel, who was chosen by Kurono.”
“No.”
“Even though Kurono’s first time should’ve been yours.”
“Stop—!”
No, that’s not it, I was just—
“—You’re jealous, so jealous…”
“I, I was just, about Kurono, I…”
“Do you want Kurono to suffer?”
I always think about him.
“Do you want Kurono to be sad?”
Always, always, first and foremost, I always did it for his sake.
“Are you willing to do anything for Kurono?”
“I am.”
…For his sake, as long as it’s for him, I’m willing to commit atrocity.
“For Kurono, I’ll do anything—I can do anything! Because I love him!”
“Ahaha, you’re lying. In truth, you just want to own him. You want him to become yours, in the truest sense of the word.”
An obsessive desire that tainted the purity of love. A deadly, venomous emotion that defiled sincere thoughts.
I love Kurono.
That feeling was everything for me—the meaning of my life. As such, that sentence was akin to the greatest insult.
“I, don’t love Kurono?”
I just want to possess him? All this time, I only did it for my sake?
“That’s right, Lily. You don’t love him.”
“I love him!”
“You don’t.”
“I love Kurono! I love Kurono more than anyone else in this world!”
“Then why didn’t you forgive him?”
“Huh!?”
Did I refuse to forgive him?
“You were the one who refused him.”
So it wasn’t Kurono, but me?
“Hey, why? Why couldn’t you forgive Kurono for embracing Sariel?”
“…”
That’s not true. It couldn’t be. I did it for his sake. I figured that Sariel is better off dead, hence why I did that…
It’s Sariel’s fault. If not for her, none of this would’ve happened.
It isn’t Kurono’s fault. Kurono hasn’t been defiled. Kurono still cares about me—
“—Ufufu, don’t cry, Lily.”
Cry? Am I crying?
Aah, indeed. My tears wouldn’t stop falling.
Why? How pathetic. I’m currently in my woman form, yet I’m crying like a toddler. And being comforted by one.
“It’s not your fault.”
“No, no, it is my fault…”
“It’s not, it’s only natural for you to get jealous.”
“T-that’s not true, I was just in pain…”
My chest hurt. When I got jealous, my chest would always burn.
The first time I felt jealous was when Kurono met Simon. To be precise, when I saw how happy Kurono was because Simon had the knowledge of another world.
His smile was unlike when he was talking with me.
When I realized I wasn’t the one behind that smile of his, for the first time in my life, I understood the meaning of jealousy.
“Yes, that’s correct, Lily is jealous.”
Once that feeling sprouted, it started to torment me from time to time, even when I was unaware of it.
For example, Fiona. My best friend and greatest love rival. We’d probably kill each other someday.
I was really envious when Kurono gave her a ring.
That ordinary silver ring sparked her love towards him.
I’d received presents from Kurono before. This ancient velvet dress was one of them. Thus, it became my best armor—and also my treasure.
No, even if he hadn’t given her that ring, I’d still be jealous whenever Kurono smiled or treated her nicely.
I’d get jealous whenever he showed the side of him that I didn’t know existed to someone else.
Fiona’s straightforwardness would fluster him. I knew that inside, he actually liked the feeling.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t do that.
“It’s not just Fiona. Whenever Kurono looked at other women, Lily would be—”
—The princess of Avalon. The receptionist of the elves. The sight of them was enough to fill me with jealousy. It was so obvious, even to this child.
In fact, I also felt threatened by Nell despite how kind she was.
“Lily is always jealous. Be it to that woman, or that other woman, to anyone—”
“You are right, I am jealous.”
“Yes, but that’s only natural. If you’re in love, it’s only natural to be jealous, so it can’t be helped.”
“But that feeling is unsightly… and wrong.”
“It can’t be helped, because Lily loves Kurono.”
Contradiction. That logic is just inconsistent.
“Jealousy isn’t love. It’s a selfish feeling. It’s basically resentment for not being yours. It’s not selfless by any means.”
That’s not love.
“No, it’s not. You love him, that’s why you’re jealous. Lily is the most jealous in the world because she loves Kurono more than anyone else!”
With an innocent smile, Lily declared so.
“I’m jealous… Because I love him?”
“That’s right.”
No, that can’t be.
“Even if I’m jealous, is it okay for me to love him?”
“Of course.”
No way. It shouldn’t be. I disapprove of that.
“Hey, do I love Kurono?”
“Yes, you love Kurono!”
But once I admit that, I couldn’t go back anymore.
Love and jealousy were two sides of the same coin, just like me as a woman and as a girl. The two feelings combined gave birth to my love—Lily’s love.
Is this what they meant by being enlightened? Suddenly, the world seems entirely different.
“You love him more than anyone else in this world.”
A love that swallowed pain, sorrow, and everything else.
Ah, so this is love. I’ll never stop loving…
“That’s why—”
Suddenly, my world was brimming with light—with love. Only a path of light laid in front of me.
Surely, there was something at the end of that path. A place where the memories of that day would last forever.
“—Kurono is mine.”
“Congratulations, Lily. You’ve finally found true love.”
Thank you for opening my eyes. I’ve finally found love.
“The Fairy Queen, Iris, is also congratulating you.”
Aah, I see. My power began to surge. In my heart, from the depths of my soul, power overflowed endlessly, as if responding to my love.
“C’mon, let’s go, the final trial awaits.”
In order to take a step towards a happy future full of love, I raised my head.
There was a black slate.
[Zero Chronicle]. An ancient stone monument praising the Demon King created a path for me.
Blood-red ancient letters danced on the jet-black surface. The undecipherable magic circle showed its effect at once.
The surface of the stone slab swayed quietly like the surface of a lake at night. On the other side, I saw a magnificent gate. A jet-black, monumental gate that rose higher than the main gate of the Galahad Fortress. Engraved on the black steel gate was the crest of a black dragon with outstretched wings.
“…This is the entrance to Avalon.”
“Yes.”
I could tell right away. I’d seen the main gate of the capital of Avalon before. There was a glorious white gate akin to a work of art. However, since the gate showed a black dragon crest, it probably led to the Lost City of the True Demon King.
After the emergence of [Zero Chronicle], I was immediately teleported here.
“Hey, Lily, what do you see beyond this Avalon?”
The girl smiled and extended her hand as if to invite me in.
“Paradise.”
I laughed and took Lily’s hand.
“Wait just a bit longer, Kurono. I’ll take you to paradise soon.”
Surely, it was a land of happiness, with no pain or sorrow. A world consisted of us two. A paradise that existed just for the two of us—
536 Paradise
(POV: Lily)
The place was so nostalgic that it brought tears to my eyes.
The room where I’d lived alone for 30 years was small and dim. Although it was only for three months, it was the room where we spent a peaceful life together. The memories of those days shone above anything else.
Yes, this was my home.
“Shut up! Don’t talk like you know people’s feelings, you damned doll!”
In the dimly-lit room, illuminated by the flickering lamp, Kurono was shouting.
Most people would think that he was furious.
But I knew that right now, both the sorrow and suffering were tearing his heart apart.
“Don’t look down on me, Sariel. Listen, I won’t kill you because you used to be Shirasaki. And you won’t kill me either. I’ll keep both of us alive. I won’t yield to you, no matter what—”
Why wasn’t I by his side when he was in so much time? I can’t forgive myself.
But what was even more unforgivable is—
“—And that’s why I’ll take you away from God.”
“I see.”
The Seventh Apostle, Sariel.
How much do you have to make Kurono suffer?
Her very existence is driving him insane, and I didn’t know why.
Aah, why… why? I really don’t understand. I can’t believe it.
That woman was sleeping on my bed. Contrary to Kurono, who was agonizing, she was quiet and expressionless.
It can’t be. That’s my place. That bed, next to Kurono, is a place reserved for me. If I had been there, I’d snuggle up to him, take his hand, and pull him closer.
“It’ll be fine.”
“Don’t cry.”
“I’m with you.”
I’d have tried my best to console him.
“I give all of myself to you.”
Stop, stop it, don’t touch Kurono.
Stop it, stop it, Kurono, don’t touch her—
—She’s our enemy. She has to be killed. You have to kill her. Chop her head off, rip out her heart, tear her limb from limb, then reduce her into ash…
Kill that apostle. Such was my wish. Such was what should’ve happened—
—But why is Kurono touching her so gently?
Powerless as he was, he somehow managed to stretch his bloodied limbs, and embraced Sariel. With trembling fingertips, he removed the sweater that covered her body.
Underneath that, was the body of a broken doll. She was missing her limbs, and was covered in blood. She was hideous and filthy.
Yet, Kurono gently embraced that thing, as if she was someone he cherished.
“—[Over-Ecstasy]”
“—Stop it!”
Thereupon, my vision was cut off.
When I looked up, I no longer saw a dimly-lit hut, but instead a wooden ceiling with a lamp that emitted brilliant light.
I was in the dormitory lounge.
“Li-Lily…”
Kurono was in front of me. He seemed desperate, as if he was in shock—no, as if he’d made an irrevocable mistake.
Why are you making such an expression? Kurono, you haven’t done anything. It wasn’t your fault.
I’m sorry, Kurono. I read your mind without permission.
Therefore, no wonder you pushed me away. I’d see why anyone would get angry.
Hence, it’s only natural for Kurono to push me away.
“…Kurono.”
I’m sorry, forgive me, it’s my fault…
Yet, no words would come out.
I couldn’t muster any word. Kurono, I’m in pain. It hurts so much, I can’t breathe.
Aah, I see, is that so…? No matter how painful it is, Kurono won’t help me anymore.
Kurono had rejected me. He chose Sariel over me.
“—Kurono, it hurts, a-aah…”
My mind went blank.
I couldn’t comprehend anything. I couldn’t accept it. Unacceptable. I didn’t want to admit it—
—However, no matter how much I rejected it, that scene wreaked havoc in my mind.
—The sight of Kurono embracing the bloody Sariel, before sealing her lips using his.
“—Aah, uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah—!!”
I wailed and screamed. Afterwards, I blindly ran away.
After all, Kurono had abandoned me. He had pushed me away. After I saw something I shouldn’t.
Surely, Kurono would never touch me again. Never again would he hold my hand, pat my head, hug him, or sleep together in the same bed.
Oh, I see… I was the one who left…
“Uuh, huwaaa, aaaaahh—!”
Run, run. Keep running. In the endless darkness, anywhere—
—there’s no escape.
I couldn’t live without Kurono. I wanted to go home right away—
“—It’s okay if you don’t go home.”
But then, I heard a voice.
The mysterious voice, which I had heard for the first time, felt nostalgic to me.
Who? My chest, it’s about to burst…
“You don’t have to run away anymore.”
The mysterious voice echoed once again. As soon as it reached my ears, something fell from my chest.
“Ah—”
Instinctively, I tried to catch it, to no avail. Then, there was a high-pitched thump.
It fell to the ground, creating a pool of bright red blood, as if my heart had fallen.
However, what was submerged in blood wasn’t a pulsating organ, but a radiant crimson crystal—[Queen Beryl.]
“…It’s broken.”
Even though [Queen Beryl] was unbreakable. It was a magical artifact that’d been blessed by the Fairy Queen, Iris. Unless it suffered from a tremendous blow, or hit by an advanced magic circle dedicated to dismantlement, it wouldn’t have broken.
Yet, the thing lying at my feet shattered as if it was made by glass. Beautifully split in two from the middle.
It should be a pure crystal, so why?
Blood was gushing out endlessly from within the crack.
“Lily, it doesn’t matter where you go. Because—”
—From the fountain of blood that flowed ceaselessly, light suddenly poured out. The crimson light was both alluring and blinding.
“—As long as Kurono is there, it’s alright.”
I see. It’s my own voice.
After the crimson flash had subsided, I saw a figure in front of me. An adorable, kind, and innocent-looking girl. She was petite and small. The resemblance was uncanny. Least but not last, she was enveloped in a bright red glow.
She looked similar to the guardian spirit who possessed Kurono in [Excelion.]
“You’re… me.”
“Yes, it’s me, Lily. That’s why, Lily, I know everything about you.”
I know right away that it was a lie.
I am me. Both the child and adult versions of myself were two sides of the same coin. Like a split personality, they were one and the same.
Therefore, this spirit, this apparition, who took after my appearance, was just a fake. An evil being who pretended to be me.
“You envy Sariel.”
When I was about to lunge at her, that single line stopped me.
“…I’m not.”
For some reason, my voice was dull.
“You can’t help but be jealous of Sariel, who was chosen by Kurono.”
“No.”
“Even though Kurono’s first time should’ve been yours.”
“Stop—!”
No, that’s not it, I was just—
“—You’re jealous, so jealous…”
“I, I was just, about Kurono, I…”
“Do you want Kurono to suffer?”
I always think about him.
“Do you want Kurono to be sad?”
Always, always, first and foremost, I always did it for his sake.
“Are you willing to do anything for Kurono?”
“I am.”
…For his sake, as long as it’s for him, I’m willing to commit atrocity.
“For Kurono, I’ll do anything—I can do anything! Because I love him!”
“Ahaha, you’re lying. In truth, you just want to own him. You want him to become yours, in the truest sense of the word.”
An obsessive desire that tainted the purity of love. A deadly, venomous emotion that defiled sincere thoughts.
I love Kurono.
That feeling was everything for me—the meaning of my life. As such, that sentence was akin to the greatest insult.
“I, don’t love Kurono?”
I just want to possess him? All this time, I only did it for my sake?
“That’s right, Lily. You don’t love him.”
“I love him!”
“You don’t.”
“I love Kurono! I love Kurono more than anyone else in this world!”
“Then why didn’t you forgive him?”
“Huh!?”
Did I refuse to forgive him?
“You were the one who refused him.”
So it wasn’t Kurono, but me?
“Hey, why? Why couldn’t you forgive Kurono for embracing Sariel?”
“…”
That’s not true. It couldn’t be. I did it for his sake. I figured that Sariel is better off dead, hence why I did that…
It’s Sariel’s fault. If not for her, none of this would’ve happened.
It isn’t Kurono’s fault. Kurono hasn’t been defiled. Kurono still cares about me—
“—Ufufu, don’t cry, Lily.”
Cry? Am I crying?
Aah, indeed. My tears wouldn’t stop falling.
Why? How pathetic. I’m currently in my woman form, yet I’m crying like a toddler. And being comforted by one.
“It’s not your fault.”
“No, no, it is my fault…”
“It’s not, it’s only natural for you to get jealous.”
“T-that’s not true, I was just in pain…”
My chest hurt. When I got jealous, my chest would always burn.
The first time I felt jealous was when Kurono met Simon. To be precise, when I saw how happy Kurono was because Simon had the knowledge of another world.
His smile was unlike when he was talking with me.
When I realized I wasn’t the one behind that smile of his, for the first time in my life, I understood the meaning of jealousy.
“Yes, that’s correct, Lily is jealous.”
Once that feeling sprouted, it started to torment me from time to time, even when I was unaware of it.
For example, Fiona. My best friend and greatest love rival. We’d probably kill each other someday.
I was really envious when Kurono gave her a ring.
That ordinary silver ring sparked her love towards him.
I’d received presents from Kurono before. This ancient velvet dress was one of them. Thus, it became my best armor—and also my treasure.
No, even if he hadn’t given her that ring, I’d still be jealous whenever Kurono smiled or treated her nicely.
I’d get jealous whenever he showed the side of him that I didn’t know existed to someone else.
Fiona’s straightforwardness would fluster him. I knew that inside, he actually liked the feeling.
Meanwhile, I couldn’t do that.
“It’s not just Fiona. Whenever Kurono looked at other women, Lily would be—”
—The princess of Avalon. The receptionist of the elves. The sight of them was enough to fill me with jealousy. It was so obvious, even to this child.
In fact, I also felt threatened by Nell despite how kind she was.
“Lily is always jealous. Be it to that woman, or that other woman, to anyone—”
“You are right, I am jealous.”
“Yes, but that’s only natural. If you’re in love, it’s only natural to be jealous, so it can’t be helped.”
“But that feeling is unsightly… and wrong.”
“It can’t be helped, because Lily loves Kurono.”
Contradiction. That logic is just inconsistent.
“Jealousy isn’t love. It’s a selfish feeling. It’s basically resentment for not being yours. It’s not selfless by any means.”
That’s not love.
“No, it’s not. You love him, that’s why you’re jealous. Lily is the most jealous in the world because she loves Kurono more than anyone else!”
With an innocent smile, Lily declared so.
“I’m jealous… Because I love him?”
“That’s right.”
No, that can’t be.
“Even if I’m jealous, is it okay for me to love him?”
“Of course.”
No way. It shouldn’t be. I disapprove of that.
“Hey, do I love Kurono?”
“Yes, you love Kurono!”
But once I admit that, I couldn’t go back anymore.
Love and jealousy were two sides of the same coin, just like me as a woman and as a girl. The two feelings combined gave birth to my love—Lily’s love.
Is this what they meant by being enlightened? Suddenly, the world seems entirely different.
“You love him more than anyone else in this world.”
A love that swallowed pain, sorrow, and everything else.
Ah, so this is love. I’ll never stop loving…
“That’s why—”
Suddenly, my world was brimming with light—with love. Only a path of light laid in front of me.
Surely, there was something at the end of that path. A place where the memories of that day would last forever.
“—Kurono is mine.”
“Congratulations, Lily. You’ve finally found true love.”
Thank you for opening my eyes. I’ve finally found love.
“The Fairy Queen, Iris, is also congratulating you.”
Aah, I see. My power began to surge. In my heart, from the depths of my soul, power overflowed endlessly, as if responding to my love.
“C’mon, let’s go, the final trial awaits.”
In order to take a step towards a happy future full of love, I raised my head.
There was a black slate.
[Zero Chronicle]. An ancient stone monument praising the Demon King created a path for me.
Blood-red ancient letters danced on the jet-black surface. The undecipherable magic circle showed its effect at once.
The surface of the stone slab swayed quietly like the surface of a lake at night. On the other side, I saw a magnificent gate. A jet-black, monumental gate that rose higher than the main gate of the Galahad Fortress. Engraved on the black steel gate was the crest of a black dragon with outstretched wings.
“…This is the entrance to Avalon.”
“Yes.”
I could tell right away. I’d seen the main gate of the capital of Avalon before. There was a glorious white gate akin to a work of art. However, since the gate showed a black dragon crest, it probably led to the Lost City of the True Demon King.
After the emergence of [Zero Chronicle], I was immediately teleported here.
“Hey, Lily, what do you see beyond this Avalon?”
The girl smiled and extended her hand as if to invite me in.
“Paradise.”
I laughed and took Lily’s hand.
“Wait just a bit longer, Kurono. I’ll take you to paradise soon.”
Surely, it was a land of happiness, with no pain or sorrow. A world consisted of us two. A paradise that existed just for the two of us—
