195. “Why am I scared of you?”
Arima had brought Layla into his soul manifestation. The two of them were sitting on the ground, surrounded by the enchanting environment. The shining vines, an ocean placed upside down with the sun illuminating through the water, cyan lights filling the air after the integration of Eion energy, and the countless flowers and trees around which the vines would coil around.
Arima and Layla were sitting face to face on two spots where the vines had receded to let place to the dark green grass. The two seemed to be as calm as usual. Even Layla didn't seem to be overly anxious.
"I don't like being evasive about things. So, I'll be clear as possible," Arima uttered with a grave voice. "If you want a clear answer though, I'm not sure I can give you one. I'm not embracing the idea completely nor am I rejecting it. It's not because I once had a lover that I can't get one anymore."
Layla closed her eyes and decided to listen attentively.
"Love is a really curious thing after all…" Arima snickered. "Even with all the different lives I now have in my head, I still can't find a definitive answer to 'emotions'. If I wanted, I could say it's only physiological, a little trick from our brain. But we all know it's not. Emotions are powerful."
"And even if people may exaggerate things, love and friendship can make you stronger," he said and paused "But," his tone changed. "It's me we're talking about. What I want to make you understand with this is that loving me could be a really hard thing to do in the future."
Layla shuddered and opened her eyes wide. She looked at Arima's eyes and gulped. They were usually sharp and bright, but now they were hollow and dark.
"{Hey, stop that,}" Malum spoke up. Arima blinked once and his eyes returned to normal.
"Since the Judgement… no, even before that. I had already grown numb, I think."
"Everything around me couldn't affect me deeply enough," he stated. "When Elia queried my emotions, I said I could control them. That wasn't a lie. And so was the fact that there are people that could do the same."
"The only difference is that I have to control my emotions to emulate my own," Layla's expression sunk. She only had Arima's memories. She couldn't even start to wonder how his mind worked.
"Of course, I have emotions. No one can say he has none and still be able to even talk. As long as you think, you feel. Anger and love… these two are always present for example. I value my friends. But I don't even know if it's because I've altered my own perception or not."
"Layla," Arima raised his head and smiled. "I like you. But it's impossible for me to love you since I don't even know if I can genuinely do that anymore."
Layla breathed in. "I don't care," she retorted and Arima grinned as if he expected that. "If what you say is true, then I'll just have to make you love me one way or another."
Arima chuckled. "The mix of Lilis' stubbornness and Lanya's determination is something."
"I'll conclude with this. Love is as simple as it is complicated. It is complex because you may never know why you feel it. It's straightforward because it's easy to fall in love. When someone has feelings for you, you just need to open your heart a little to do the same in return."
"As long as you know and understand that someone loves you, you will never be unfazed eternally," Arima stood up. "If you can do that with me, it's your win."
Layla smiled and stood up too. "I know," she muttered and summoned her rapier which she pointed at Arima. "And I will do it today."
Arima blinked in confusion. He expected this conversation to be finished but he had surprisingly been taken off guard. "…What's your plan?"
"I want a duel," Layla smiled softly which contradicted with her words, and Arima frowned. "I won't be asking for something as stupid as a deathmatch, don’t worry. It's only until one of us can't fight anymore."
"But I'll attack to kill," Layla added and grinned. "Because I perfectly know that I can't beat you," she added and a silver-black aura appeared around her as she changed into her dragonewt form.
Arima squinted as her aura shoved the vines away and created ripples on the ocean above them. He waved his hand and grabbed Superore at the same time. He didn't release his aura nor did he even use his draconic transformation.
"All right, I accept your duel," he said and whirled the gun in his hand.
Layla smiled as she was bathing in silver light. "No," she voiced slowly and Arima was greatly confused. "I don't want to fight you like that. There's no point."
"You said it yourself; you can't beat me. I don't need to go farther."
Layla shook her head. "That’s not what I mean. You can use any form you want. I just want you to fight me with your true nature."
Arima's expression changed drastically. He stared at Layla for a few minutes then lifted his left hand. He covered his face with his palm and fell silent. Even the air around seemed to turn heavier as his presence darkened.
He rubbed his face and took out his hand. Layla shivered again. She couldn't help it. Lilis was the one who had given Elia her power to see emotions in the first place. She also could do the same. If that elf was here right now, she would've been frightened to death.
Layla was looking at Arima but she couldn't see any color. She could see those colors/emotions at any time, every time. But now that she wasn't seeing any, not even white, it made her extremely uncomfortable.
She couldn't see Arima's 'color' anymore but instead, an even scarier thing occurred. She felt like something invisible was coming out of Arima to literally consume her spirit.
His expression was far from a friendly one too. His entire face didn't show any kind of emotions whatsoever. But the real problem lied in his eyes. They were full of darkness like they had been filled with ink. There was nothing left of the usual silver pupils. Even the light emitted by Layla's body couldn't even produce a reflection.
"Is this what you wanted?" His voice even sounded like he was speaking to a stranger. Layla felt hurt inwardly but she nodded calmly.
"Yes."
"{Fuck… I'm supposed to be your dark part. Why am I scared of you?}" Malum grumbled. If you thought about it. Elia wasn't the only one who had noticed what Arima was hiding.
Chronepsis had noticed it as well. When they first met, the Dragon King called Arima a 'madman'. The latter had even made a little speech similar to what he had just told Layla.
After Chronepsis, it was Evergreen. She called Arima 'crazy'. And even until this day, she still couldn’t shake off the fear in depths of her mind.
"Here I come," Layla declared and kicked the ground. She appeared right in front of Arima and her rapier was pointing right at his head.
Arima's eyes narrowed and he lifted Superore. He blocked the rapier with the frame of his gun and Layla seemed to have a strong grip as the blade didn't deviate at all.
He simply moved his finger and so did Layla. They both pressed the trigger and made their bullets clash.
***
Night stopped eating his crepe and Karma had already done so a minute ago. They looked at each other and saw the other's expression.
Night sighed. "I have to be honest. Even I am scared of that," he smiled bitterly. "Well, if even that Malum is intimidated, who wouldn't?"
"{Obviously,}" Malum's voice resounded in Night and Karma's heads. He had isolated himself from Arima and managed to connect to the outside.
"{But don't be mistaken. I'm not scared just because he has a scary face. I'm not like you,}" Malum said and Night snorted. "{I was right in the middle of it. Each time that guy kills… no, liberate his emotions, I feel so cold and terrified like something is going to swallow me whole.}"
"{I don't like to say it like this, but I feel like a kid who just saw a creepy hand sticking out from under his bed. And now I have to be silent and still.}"
Night didn't even dare to laugh. That actually sounded pretty scary. But he also understood what Malum meant. He clicked his tongue and put the whole crepe in his mouth.
"{…Hey, can I take control of your body to eat one? I never had the chance to taste something, as a spiritual being.}"
"I refuse."
Malum grunted and asked Karma but she was eating everything on the menu to take Arima out of her mind so she didn't even talk back to him.
‘Seriously, just end your lover quarrel. I can't even sleep as long as Arima is like that,’ he complained inwardly and decided to spend time by bothering Night.
195. “Why am I scared of you?”
Arima had brought Layla into his soul manifestation. The two of them were sitting on the ground, surrounded by the enchanting environment. The shining vines, an ocean placed upside down with the sun illuminating through the water, cyan lights filling the air after the integration of Eion energy, and the countless flowers and trees around which the vines would coil around.
Arima and Layla were sitting face to face on two spots where the vines had receded to let place to the dark green grass. The two seemed to be as calm as usual. Even Layla didn't seem to be overly anxious.
"I don't like being evasive about things. So, I'll be clear as possible," Arima uttered with a grave voice. "If you want a clear answer though, I'm not sure I can give you one. I'm not embracing the idea completely nor am I rejecting it. It's not because I once had a lover that I can't get one anymore."
Layla closed her eyes and decided to listen attentively.
"Love is a really curious thing after all…" Arima snickered. "Even with all the different lives I now have in my head, I still can't find a definitive answer to 'emotions'. If I wanted, I could say it's only physiological, a little trick from our brain. But we all know it's not. Emotions are powerful."
"And even if people may exaggerate things, love and friendship can make you stronger," he said and paused "But," his tone changed. "It's me we're talking about. What I want to make you understand with this is that loving me could be a really hard thing to do in the future."
Layla shuddered and opened her eyes wide. She looked at Arima's eyes and gulped. They were usually sharp and bright, but now they were hollow and dark.
"{Hey, stop that,}" Malum spoke up. Arima blinked once and his eyes returned to normal.
"Since the Judgement… no, even before that. I had already grown numb, I think."
"Everything around me couldn't affect me deeply enough," he stated. "When Elia queried my emotions, I said I could control them. That wasn't a lie. And so was the fact that there are people that could do the same."
"The only difference is that I have to control my emotions to emulate my own," Layla's expression sunk. She only had Arima's memories. She couldn't even start to wonder how his mind worked.
"Of course, I have emotions. No one can say he has none and still be able to even talk. As long as you think, you feel. Anger and love… these two are always present for example. I value my friends. But I don't even know if it's because I've altered my own perception or not."
"Layla," Arima raised his head and smiled. "I like you. But it's impossible for me to love you since I don't even know if I can genuinely do that anymore."
Layla breathed in. "I don't care," she retorted and Arima grinned as if he expected that. "If what you say is true, then I'll just have to make you love me one way or another."
Arima chuckled. "The mix of Lilis' stubbornness and Lanya's determination is something."
"I'll conclude with this. Love is as simple as it is complicated. It is complex because you may never know why you feel it. It's straightforward because it's easy to fall in love. When someone has feelings for you, you just need to open your heart a little to do the same in return."
"As long as you know and understand that someone loves you, you will never be unfazed eternally," Arima stood up. "If you can do that with me, it's your win."
Layla smiled and stood up too. "I know," she muttered and summoned her rapier which she pointed at Arima. "And I will do it today."
Arima blinked in confusion. He expected this conversation to be finished but he had surprisingly been taken off guard. "…What's your plan?"
"I want a duel," Layla smiled softly which contradicted with her words, and Arima frowned. "I won't be asking for something as stupid as a deathmatch, don’t worry. It's only until one of us can't fight anymore."
"But I'll attack to kill," Layla added and grinned. "Because I perfectly know that I can't beat you," she added and a silver-black aura appeared around her as she changed into her dragonewt form.
Arima squinted as her aura shoved the vines away and created ripples on the ocean above them. He waved his hand and grabbed Superore at the same time. He didn't release his aura nor did he even use his draconic transformation.
"All right, I accept your duel," he said and whirled the gun in his hand.
Layla smiled as she was bathing in silver light. "No," she voiced slowly and Arima was greatly confused. "I don't want to fight you like that. There's no point."
"You said it yourself; you can't beat me. I don't need to go farther."
Layla shook her head. "That’s not what I mean. You can use any form you want. I just want you to fight me with your true nature."
Arima's expression changed drastically. He stared at Layla for a few minutes then lifted his left hand. He covered his face with his palm and fell silent. Even the air around seemed to turn heavier as his presence darkened.
He rubbed his face and took out his hand. Layla shivered again. She couldn't help it. Lilis was the one who had given Elia her power to see emotions in the first place. She also could do the same. If that elf was here right now, she would've been frightened to death.
Layla was looking at Arima but she couldn't see any color. She could see those colors/emotions at any time, every time. But now that she wasn't seeing any, not even white, it made her extremely uncomfortable.
She couldn't see Arima's 'color' anymore but instead, an even scarier thing occurred. She felt like something invisible was coming out of Arima to literally consume her spirit.
His expression was far from a friendly one too. His entire face didn't show any kind of emotions whatsoever. But the real problem lied in his eyes. They were full of darkness like they had been filled with ink. There was nothing left of the usual silver pupils. Even the light emitted by Layla's body couldn't even produce a reflection.
"Is this what you wanted?" His voice even sounded like he was speaking to a stranger. Layla felt hurt inwardly but she nodded calmly.
"Yes."
"{Fuck… I'm supposed to be your dark part. Why am I scared of you?}" Malum grumbled. If you thought about it. Elia wasn't the only one who had noticed what Arima was hiding.
Chronepsis had noticed it as well. When they first met, the Dragon King called Arima a 'madman'. The latter had even made a little speech similar to what he had just told Layla.
After Chronepsis, it was Evergreen. She called Arima 'crazy'. And even until this day, she still couldn’t shake off the fear in depths of her mind.
"Here I come," Layla declared and kicked the ground. She appeared right in front of Arima and her rapier was pointing right at his head.
Arima's eyes narrowed and he lifted Superore. He blocked the rapier with the frame of his gun and Layla seemed to have a strong grip as the blade didn't deviate at all.
He simply moved his finger and so did Layla. They both pressed the trigger and made their bullets clash.
***
Night stopped eating his crepe and Karma had already done so a minute ago. They looked at each other and saw the other's expression.
Night sighed. "I have to be honest. Even I am scared of that," he smiled bitterly. "Well, if even that Malum is intimidated, who wouldn't?"
"{Obviously,}" Malum's voice resounded in Night and Karma's heads. He had isolated himself from Arima and managed to connect to the outside.
"{But don't be mistaken. I'm not scared just because he has a scary face. I'm not like you,}" Malum said and Night snorted. "{I was right in the middle of it. Each time that guy kills… no, liberate his emotions, I feel so cold and terrified like something is going to swallow me whole.}"
"{I don't like to say it like this, but I feel like a kid who just saw a creepy hand sticking out from under his bed. And now I have to be silent and still.}"
Night didn't even dare to laugh. That actually sounded pretty scary. But he also understood what Malum meant. He clicked his tongue and put the whole crepe in his mouth.
"{…Hey, can I take control of your body to eat one? I never had the chance to taste something, as a spiritual being.}"
"I refuse."
Malum grunted and asked Karma but she was eating everything on the menu to take Arima out of her mind so she didn't even talk back to him.
‘Seriously, just end your lover quarrel. I can't even sleep as long as Arima is like that,’ he complained inwardly and decided to spend time by bothering Night.
