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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 217

Published at 10th of May 2023 10:51:45 AM


Chapter 217

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“What?” Gintoki was puzzled.

“At that time, when I proposed to have an outdoor barbecue, that man’s reaction…”

“Oh! I remember now!” Shinpachi answered first, “At that time, Kondo-san desperately wanted to protect the Princess!”

“Oh! I remember too-aru!” Kagura agreed.

“There is indeed such a thing.” Gintoki also nodded.

“As a man, that kind of look can’t deceive anyone!” Kawaki nodded and continued, “It’s also natural to protect the woman you like.”

“Even if you say so, I still feel that something is wrong…” Sogo frowned slightly and muttered, “Kondo-san came to us yesterday and hoped that we would destroy the wedding reception today. If he likes her, why does he want us to destroy the wedding reception? It doesn’t make sense…”

“No,” Kawaki shook his head. “You guys have forgotten the most important point.”

“The most important point?” Sogo was puzzled.

“Ah, didn’t you just say it? If he went to the Planet Gorilla, he would never be able to come back.” Kawaki explained.

“You mean…” Sogo suddenly thought of a possibility and looked at Kondo on the stage with a shocked face.

“It seems that you also noticed,” Kawaki smiled happily and then looked at Kondo on the stage. His eyes were much gentler, “Everything he did is for you guys. He can’t bear to part with you guys at all! No, it’s not that he can’t part with you guys; it’s that he can’t trust you guys! Between Shinsengumi and his own happiness, this man chose Shinsengumi! What an admirable man!”

“So it’s like this, it’s actually like this…” Sogo’s eyes also softened, and tears could be vaguely seen in the corners of his eyes, “Kondo-san actually thinks like this, what a… big idiot… He has already done enough for Shinsengumi. I didn’t expect that in the end; he was still thinking about Shinsengumi… Occasionally, he should also consider his own happiness! Bastard!”

Looking at Sogo, who clenched his fists and had a look of pity on his face, Shinpachi said to Gintoki with an expressionless face, “Hey, these two are idiots. If Kondo-san knew what they were thinking, he would definitely faint from anger.”

“No,” Gintoki replied.

“Huh? No? Gin-san, do you mean that Kondo-san really thinks so?!” Shinpachi was so shocked that his eyeballs almost popped out.

“No, what I mean is, there are not only two idiots,” Gintoki said, pointing to Tsukuyo and Kagura, “It should be four idiots.”

Looking at Tsukuyo, whose eyes were slightly red, and Kagura, who was crying bitterly, the corners of Shinpachi’s mouth twitched.

“Ah, sure enough.”

Suddenly, the walkie-talkie in Sogo’s arms rang. Sogo took it out.

“This is Kondo. If you hear me, respond back! Over!” Kondo’s voice came from the walkie-talkie, “What’re you guys waiting for?! Hurry up and ruin this wedding reception! Over! Aren’t you best at doing this?! I didn’t invite you guys here to eat and drink! Over!”

“What do you mean eating and drinking? There are only bananas here. Don’t look down on us, over.” Gintoki curled his lips in disdain.

“This time, we Shinsengumi can’t make too big of a move.”

After saying that, Kondo looked at Matsudaira, who was eating bananas in the audience, “This marriage was set up by Uncle Matsudaira. If we mess it up, Shinsengumi will really be finished! Over!”

“Even now, he is still thinking of Shinsengumi…” Sogo wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and said to the walkie-talkie with a tender face, “That’s enough. Kondo-san, you have done enough. We all know. Don’t worry, and boldly pursue your own happiness. Over!”

“What are you talking about?” Kondo was a little confused, “Hurry up and think of a way! Over!”

“No, no matter what you say, I will let this reception continue!” Sogo replied, “Sometimes, you should also consider yourself! You have to work hard to grasp the hard-won happiness! Bastard! Over!”

“That’s right,” Tsukuyo wiped the tears from the corners of her eyes, “It’s good to live happily. Come on, gorilla, over! “

“Be sure to give birth to a lot of little gorilla-aru!” Kagura was moved to tears, “Just send us some bananas occasionally! Over!”

“Men can’t just think about their careers. Sometimes, they should also consider their own happiness,” Kawaki sighed softly, “This time, try to believe in your team members. They definitely won’t let Shinsengumi fall! Over!”

“What are you guys talking about?” Kondo yelled at the walkie-talkie with his veins bursting, “Take a good look at the atmosphere! Do I look like I’m pursuing happiness?”

“Kondo-san!” Sogo’s eyes were wet again. He shouted into the walkie-talkie, “Enough! Stop talking like that! Just pursue your happiness! Over!”

“Hey! Listen to me! You bastards! Over!” Kondo’s voice came again, but this time, no one paid him any attention.

“Hey, Gin-san,” Shinpachi said expressionlessly, “These people are really all idiots.”

“In short, I’m counting on you. Please let the reception proceed smoothly.” Sogo bowed and straightened his body again. He covered his eyes and muttered.

“Leave it to us.” Kawaki gave him a thumbs up.

Tsukuyo and Kagura also nodded heavily.

“Gin-san, can they still be saved?” Shinpachi complained again.

“They can’t be saved…”



Sogo covered his eyes and returned to Shinsengumi’s seat.

“How is it? Did they agree to help?” Yamazaki quickly asked.

“You guys… don’t know anything at all.” Sogo wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and glanced at the Shinsengumi members at the table, “You don’t understand Kondo-san’s feelings at all!”

“What nonsense are you talking about?” Toshiro looked at Sogo with a disgusted expression.

“Kondo-san… Kondo-san only asks us to ruin this reception for us… Why don’t you understand at all?!” Sogo shouted.

“Eh?”



“So that’s how it is, so that’s how it is,” Yamazaki could not help but sniff, “It turns out that the Bureau Chief only said those words because he could not let us go…”

“How can we accept this?! It is right to pursue your own happiness!”

“Bureau Chief, that bastard!”

“You should also consider your own matters!”

The Shinsengumi members said with tears streaming down their faces.

“I really am an idiot. I actually went to ask that woman to do that kind of thing…” Toshiro covered his eyes, and his face was full of unwillingness, “The one who ruined Kondo-san’s happiness was us…”

“That woman? What happened?” Sogo asked curiously.

“Before I came, I specially went to Snack Smile and asked that woman to ruin the reception.” Toshiro wiped away his tears and sobbed.

“Could it be that nee-san will come?” Yamazaki stood up abruptly, “Not good! If nee-san comes here, she will definitely ruin the ceremony! Then…”

As he spoke, Yamazaki looked at Kondo on the stage, “The Chief’s happiness will be ruined!”

“Then, we can only go up,” Toshiro also stood up, “Even if I have to risk my life, I can’t let this wedding reception be ruined! Because… this is related to Kondo-san’s happiness!”

“That’s right!” All Shinsengumi members stood up, “For Chief’s happiness!”

Shinpachi, who was silently watching the show from the side, once again spoke with an expressionless face, “Gin-san, these people are all idiots.”

“Ah, I can’t deny it,” Gintoki replied.



‘What are those guys doing!’ Kondo looked at the Shinsengumi members, who were crying and looking at him with a touched face. He felt angry in his heart, ‘Why are you crying? Are you crying because you can’t think of a way to ruin the wedding?! Damn it!’

However, just as he finished thinking, the voice of the emcee sounded again.

“Will the bride and groom please step forward?!” The emcee continued, “We have kept you all in suspense long enough. Now, we will carry out the husband and wife’s first collaboration work!”

Looking at the huge Simmons bed pushed over by the waiters, Kondo stopped thinking. On the other hand, Bubble lay down on it with a calm face. Her face was blushing as if waiting for Kondo’s blessing.

‘Hey! Wait a minute!’ Kondo’s heart was in turmoil, ‘Isn’t it usually cutting a cake?! Even cutting a banana is fine! No, no, no, this is too strange! Isn’t that what it means to work collaboratively? Hey! Wait a minute!’

Then, Kondo sent a pleading look to Matsudaira, who was not far away.

Matsudaira: Kondo, this is a Planet Gorilla wedding tradition to show respect for the prosperity of their offspring. Show them you’re a man!

Then, Matsudaira raised a thumb up.

‘What do you mean by giving me a thumbs-up?!’ Kondo’s eyes were bloodshot, and the veins on his forehead were bulging. His expression became ferocious, ‘Do you want me to do it? Who is going to bend his thumb for me? Don’t joke around! This isn’t some hardcore porn! I’m not Taka Kato! Most people like me are Suzume Kato!’ 

(TL notes: Taka Kato is a Japanese adult video actor, and Taka means Hawk, while Suzume is a sparrow.)

Looking at the gorillas who were staring straight at him without turning their eyes, Kondo became even more furious. ‘Why are all of them looking over? They were still eating bananas just now, but now they want to watch my banana?! Shinpachi-kun! Help me!’

Kondo looked at Shinpachi with tears in his eyes. However, when he saw Shinpachi, who was putting bananas into the Tupperware, he became even worse, ‘Forget about the Tupperware! You don’t have to take bananas home! How domestic can you get?!’

However, at this moment, Toshiro’s voice sounded.

“Hey, wait a minute.” Toshiro lit a cigarette.

‘Toshi! I knew it! Even if others don’t care about me, you won’t ignore me!’ Kondo was moved to tears.

“Allow us to send a blessing.” Toshiro gently puffed out a mouthful of smoke and tried his best to curl his lips into a forced smile, “Shinsengumi!”

As soon as he finished speaking, all the members of Shinsengumi stood up.

“One or two!” Toshiro shouted.

“Chief! We’re so happy for you!” All of the Shinsengumi members saluted and shouted at the same time.

‘What the hell are you guys doing?!’ Kondo was about to collapse.

“Kondo-san, don’t worry. Shinsengumi… just leave it to us!” Toshiro lowered his head and bit his lower lip as he shouted, “Just pursue the happiness you think is! Even if it’s a gorilla, it doesn’t matter! We will support you!”

“That’s right! We will definitely take good care of ourselves!” Yamazaki wiped his tears and then shouted loudly.

“Chief! Be sure to give birth to healthy little apes!”

“We will always bless you on Earth!”

Hearing the blessings of his own team members, Kondo really had the urge to kill someone.

‘What the hell are you guys talking about!’ Kondo had already collapsed to the point of wanting to kill someone.

“Kondo! I heard everything from Sogo and Toshiro!” Matsudaira covered his eyes and stood up, “I already understand your feelings! Don’t worry! As long as this old man is alive, Shinsengumi will be fine! Don’t worry, and go ahead!”

‘What the hell do you know about me?’ Kondo roared in his heart, ‘If really understood, it wouldn’t be like that! You guys better stop before you go too far!!’

However, in the next moment, Bubbles sat up and threw Kondo up by the back of his collar with one hand. Kondo didn’t even have time to react.

Kondo in the air looked at the shy Bubbles who was already posing below and stopped thinking…

Just at this critical moment, a naginata shot straight from a distance. It stabbed into Kondo’s clothes and nailed him to the wall.

‘That…’ Looking at the familiar figure at the door, Kondo’s tears instantly covered his entire face, ‘That’s Miss Otae!’

“Miss Otae!” Kondo was so moved that he didn’t know what to do.

“What!” The Shinsengumi members quickly looked at the entrance, “It’s nee-san! nee-san is here to ruin the marriage!”

“Calm down! If everyone goes up, we will definitely be able to stop her from ruining the reception!” Toshiro shouted.

“Oh!” xn

“Oh my ass! What the hell are you guys trying to do!” Kondo cursed.

“Of course, it’s for Chief’s happiness!” The Shinsengumi members said at the same time.

“I can’t tell at all!” Kondo cursed, “Take a good look at the atmosphere, bastard!”

“No, you don’t have to say anymore, Chief!” Yamazaki said, “We all know! You like that gorilla! But for us, you want to give up the hard-won happiness. This kind of thing… we will never allow it!”

Following that, the Shinsengumi members charged toward Otae.

However… they might have underestimated Otae’s combat strength, and all of Shinsengumi’s members were knocked down…

Looking at Otae walking up the stage step by step, Kawaki couldn’t help but chuckle. He stood up first and glanced at Tsukuyo, “Let’s go, Tsukki.”

Without thinking too much, Tsukuyo stood up and followed Kawaki out of the hall without looking back…

Kawaki listened to the noise coming from behind and smiled quietly. Tsukuyo looked behind her from time to time, obviously not understanding what was going on…

Kawaki had just walked out of the reception door when he met Kyubei and Tojo, who had just arrived.

“Young Master! Danger!” Tojo hurriedly blocked in front of Kyubei, “This man is too dangerous!”

“Don’t be impudent, Tojo.” Kyubei reprimanded.

“But…”

“Back down!”

Only then did Tojo retreat to the side.

“How is it? Have you found the expression you want to protect?” Kawaki narrowed his eyes and said with a smile.

“Ah, I did find it.” Kyubei gently raised the corners of her mouth.

“That’s good.” After saying that, Kawaki walked out without looking back, and Tsukuyo followed him.



“Hey, did you create some trouble again?” Tsukuyo looked at Kawaki with disdain.

“How is that possible…” Kawaki curled his lips in disdain. However, in the next moment, Kawaki suddenly felt something. He raised his head and stretched out his hand to feel it, “It seems to be raining.”

“It seems to be…”

“Come on.” After Kawaki held up the umbrella, he glanced at Tsukuyo beside him.

“Oh…”




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