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Maybe a Fake Gintama - Chapter 312

Published at 15th of April 2024 05:58:02 AM


Chapter 312

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Finally, Kawaki came to the front of the queue. The Hyakka also put down the spoils of war they had just stolen.

“Boss, you are cutting in line.”

At this time, Sogo was still soaking in the bathtub.

Hearing this, Kawaki crossed his arms and snorted, “Cutting in line? How could I do something that only LV0 guys would do? Just watch, dealing with OTAKUs of this level is as easy as memorizing the first two lines of the 9×9 multiplication table!”

After saying that, Kawaki walked to the chubby with glasses who was first in the queue. He smiled without any hesitation and said, “Little brother, can you give me your number plate?”

Seeing the girls behind Kawaki staring at him fiercely, the chubby glasses man swallowed a mouthful of saliva and then held the number plate in his hands. He gathered his courage and said, “No… I won’t give it to you!”

Kawaki seemed to have noticed something. He raised the corner of his mouth and snorted softly. He turned his head to look at the Hyakka members behind him and complained, “Hey, don’t show such a fierce expression. I can do it alone.”

After saying that, Kawaki turned around again and looked at the glasses man in front of him. He smiled and took out several coupons from Yoshiwara’s various stores.

“What if I use this to trade?” Kawaki raised his eyebrows and said with a smile, “This is a real discount coupon for Yoshiwara’s various stores. As long as you have this, you can definitely say goodbye to virginity. Do you really not want it? Really? Ask yourself if you really don’t want it?”

The glasses man struggled to look at the girls on the cover of the coupons.

“Think about it, is that Owee really important? Owee can’t help you get rid of your virginity, but this…” Kawaki lowered his voice and whispered into the glasses man’s ear, “I’ll tell you in a low voice. With this, all your fantasies will come true~ Whether it is [Beep—] style, [Beep—] style, or even [Beep—] style, or even [Beep—] style, all of them will satisfy you~ So, what are you still hesitating for? This is a rare opportunity. If you let this pass, there will be no such store in the future~ Go, hurry up and take out your number plate. [Beep—] is waving to you~”

The glasses man blushed and panted. His eyes were about to crack. He had already swallowed several mouthfuls of saliva. He gradually loosened his grip on the number plate. However, he still hadn’t completely let go. It was obvious that he was still in a fierce struggle of thoughts.

However, Kawaki didn’t say anything else. This was already enough. It didn’t matter if it was earlier or later. In the end, the person in front of him would obediently hand over his number plate.

However, at this moment, the thin man who was in second place couldn’t help but hand over his number plate, “Change with me! I’m begging you! Change with me! I’m already thirty years old! I want to get rid of my virginity! The second place also has a 100% chance to get the game console!”

After the thin man spoke, the third, fourth, and hundredth people behind him all shouted out, wanting to change.

However, Kawaki did not react to this. He continued to look at the glasses man in front of him with a playful expression. It could be seen that the glasses man should be a veteran game OTAKU. An ordinary OTAKU would definitely not be able to hold on for so long! However, it was still a foregone conclusion. Seeing the glasses man’s hand relax slightly, Kawaki smiled quietly.

Then he turned around, raised his hand, and shook the coupon in his hand. He sighed and said, “Sigh~ Forget it. Since you don’t want to change it, forget it. I’d better obediently go queue up…”

“Wait a minute!” The glasses man bit his lower lip. After a fierce mental struggle, he finally shouted, “Change! I will change!”

“But it seems that you are really reluctant. If it is really difficult, forget it. After all, that number plate should be very important to you, right?” Kawaki turned his head and frowned.

“Yes… indeed, this is very important to me. For me, it is like the world I live in. Although it is a virtual world, I have found solace…” The glasses man looked at the number plate in his hand, and his eyes flashed with a struggle, but in the end, he compromised.

The glasses little brother raised his head and continued, “However, I understand now! Indulging in the virtual world is absolutely not possible! No, it’s not that I can’t, it’s just that I was too confident! I thought that I would no longer be interested in anything in the real world if I were immersed in that kind of place! However, I was wrong! Seeing the thing in your hand, I was still attracted! I failed! At this moment, I understood that I had always been avoiding reality! For this kind of half-assed self, I…”

As he spoke, the glasses man actually choked.

“It’s not half-assed at all,” Kawaki walked over and patted the glasses man on the shoulder. He looked at the long line behind the glasses man and said, “A half-assed person can’t get first place in a line of tens of thousands of people! A half-assed person can’t accept his real self at this time! A half-assed person can’t shed tears at this time! The last and most important point! A half-assed person would never dare to admit that he was half-assed! You better remember this clearly!”

“You…” The glasses man raised his head and looked at Kawaki in disbelief. Then, he hugged his head and burst into tears.

“This is for you.” As he said that, Kawaki directly stuffed the coupon into the glasses man’s arms, “Forget about the number plate, I can’t steal the world you love. Come on, be it in the virtual world or in the real world.”

With that, Kawaki turned and left.

“Who… who are you?” The glasses man sucked in his snot as he shouted toward Kawaki’s back.

“Who ?” Kawaki chuckled. Then, he looked up at the sky and let out a long sigh. “It’s the same as you. It’s just an OTAKU immersed in the virtual world. It’s nothing special, but let’s forget about it today. After seeing so many lovely juniors, I can’t bear to compete with you for living space. Goodbye, not half-assed person.”

After saying that, Kawaki waved his hand.

“Senior! I will help you bring an Owee out! Even if it means risking my life!” The glasses man screamed with tears, “This is the first time someone acknowledge me! Absolutely! I will definitely bring one Owee out for you!”

“We are the same! We are not half-assed! Senior!” The group of OTAKUs behind the chubby glasses man also cried out with tears streaming down their faces.

Hearing this, the corners of Kawaki’s lips curled up slightly. The Hyakka, as well as Tsukuyo who had just arrived, as well as Sogo, who had just left the bathtub and sat in the kotatsu, were all dumbfounded.

They had originally thought that it would be an ordinary exchange, but they had never expected that it would actually end up like this in the end!

“You…” Kawaki turned his head and wiped away the non-existence tears at the corner of his eyes. He said somewhat reluctantly, “No need. A half-assed like me is not worth it…”

Sogo, Tsukuyo, and Hyakka members: Enough already!

“What are you talking about? Senior is not a half-assed!” The glasses man wiped the tears from the corners of his eyes and retorted with a smile.

“Yes, yes!” The group of OTAKUs behind the glasses man also wiped away their tears and agreed with a smile.

Sogo, Tsukuyo, and Hyakka members: Enough already!!



Kawaki was wearing beach shorts and soaking in the bathtub. A few Hyakka girls were constantly filling firewood under the bathtub. Behind Kawaki, there were two Hyakka girls standing behind him, massaging his shoulders.

On the right side of the bathtub, there was a Hyakka girl. She held a chopstick and continuously picked up the vegetables that had been cooked in the hot pot. After blowing them to a suitable temperature, she sent them into Kawaki’s mouth.

On the left side of the bathtub, a Hyakka girl was holding the cheese and hot milk that she had just robbed and was carefully feeding it to Kawaki.

Sogo sat in the kotatsu, bored. He originally wanted to pick up his chopsticks to eat hot pot together, but he was stopped by the Hyakka’s fierce eyes.

“Boss, you’re really amazing. You managed to transform all the OTAKUs so easily.”

Sogo pursed his lips as he looked at those OTAKUs who were standing in front of him with high fighting spirits and no longer any OTAKU sinister look on their faces.

“Hey, how did you do it?” Tsukuyo finally couldn’t help but walk over and ask.

In fact, Tsukuyo stood in place and thought for a long time, but she didn’t understand why so many people could be changed with just a simple sentence.

If not for this reason, just based on Kawaki’s decadent appearance at this time, Tsukuyo would have already gone mad.

“Actually, it is only the words [self-values].” Kawaki shrugged and replied casually.

“Self-values?”

“Ah, it’s quite troublesome to tell them all, and it may be said that the number of words is not enough. A simple summary is enough,” Kawaki continued, “It’s also what we often say that there are all kinds of mangas that exist, [being recognized by others] and [recognizing others]. Only when these two situations exist at the same time can one truly find [self-value].”

Tsukuyo crossed her arms and lowered her head as she pondered over Kawaki’s words. As for Sogo, he had an expression that said, [I’m not interested at all.]

“It’s really easy, just lie in the bathtub like this, and you can get Owee at the end. Today’s war is undoubtedly a complete victory~” Kawaki closed his eyes and sighed.

“Wait a minute, I have something to ask you.” Tsukuyo suddenly asked again, “What’s with that Yoshiwara’s various shop discount coupons?”

“Don’t worry, just like before, it’s all a discount.” Kawaki waved his hand and said indifferently, “Speaking of which, I still have a lot of it in me. If you need them, you can give them away. The OTAKU in front of you is also a group of good potential consumers.”

“Boss, your character is really bad.” Sogo could not help but complain, “But it is also because of this that we can get along.”




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