“You never really wanted to be a shrine maiden of longevity, did you…?”
“!!!!!!!!!”
After saying that, Gustav stayed quiet for a while just to see if Natalia would refute him in some way… but the brunette didn’t say anything, so the holy knight let out a sigh.
“Well, being a shrine maiden of longevity can be pretty tough, considering the fact that all women, regardless of status, think of them as perfect ladies. That’s why I can kind of understand why you’d let go of that role as soon as the Emperor found someone else to replace you… the pressure can be suffocating.”
“What are you talking about, sensei? I wasn’t feeling suffocated, or anything like that. Anyone would’ve done the same if they were in my shoes. I mean, who wouldn’t let got of that role for the Altruistic Saintess herself? Besides, you don’t have to be super smart to know that Leonora will be a way more competent shrine maiden of longevity than me, and that’s a fact.”
Everyone knew that a shrine maiden of longevity could be replaced at any time by someone more deserving of that role, so Natalia wasn’t really lying when she said that anyone would’ve done the same if they were in her shoes… however, the holy knight saw right through her attempt at deceiving him.
“Haaah∼, you can be really boring sometimes, you know that…?”
“I’m what…?”
“I said that you can be really boring sometimes. I mean, you don’t have to be so serious all the time, you know? I want to hear your opinion on all this, not the generic and morally right answer to my question.”
Natalia wasn’t really expecting to deceive Gustav with just that, but still, being called boring by him, of all people, made her a bit sad. However, since the holy knight didn’t know that, he just continued talking.
“You and your cousins are always talking about how Leonora needs to take care of herself a bit more, but in my eyes, you’re just as bad at taking care of yourself.”
“Ugh…! B-but I don’t put myself in danger all the time, so-!”
‘So that’s an unfair comparison!’ – Is what Natalia wanted to say, but Gustav cut her off before she could finish her sentence.
“Ha! You claim to not put yourself in danger all the time, but you know that poisoning someone is a crime, right? You could go to jail if someone ever found out about that, which is exactly my point. You become so reckless when it comes to your friends and family, that you’d do anything just to protect them.”
Natalia couldn’t refute the holy knight this time. Gustav was so good at observing other people, that it was almost impossible to hide anything from him, which only made Natalia feel even more depressed than she already was, after all, she knew that he was right about everything.
“Well, being protective of the people you care about isn’t really a bad thing, but I still think you should take care of yourself a bit more. I mean, it’s not like you have to give up on everything you want to do, just to make the people around you happy, you know? Piling up regrets can be really bad for you.”
On the other hand, Gustav was doing his best to make Natalia open up to him, since he still had to hear why she was feeling so down, in order to give her some useful advice–
“But, like I said earlier, the pressure of being a shrine maiden of longevity can be a bit too much for some people, so I can understand why you’d give up on that role without a fight.”
“…*Whisper*…Shut up….”
–However, no matter how hard Gustav tried, he only managed to make Natalia feel more and more irritated, after all, even though he had good intentions, his words sounded awfully condescending.
“What I can’t understand though, is why you’re feeling so down if you didn’t even want to be a shrine maiden of longevity in the first place. This doesn’t make any-”
“I know that this doesn’t make any sense, okay!? So shut up already!”
After reaching the boiling point, and shouting that, Natalia started tearing up. She was crying mainly because of everything that happened to her recently, but Gustav obviously didn’t know that, so he quickly apologized to her–
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry… I was just-”
“No one cares about what I think!”
–However, the brunette didn’t want to hear the holy knight’s apology right now. She just wanted to vent all this frustration that was pilling up inside of her.
“Even though being the next shrine maiden of longevity of the Weiz Empire was a lot of pressure, I studied really hard, every day, just to be deserving of that title! So of course I wasn’t okay when His Majesty asked me to hand that role to Leonora! Who would be okay with something like that!? It’s so unfair!”
Natalia always kept her cool in front of everyone, but for some reason, she just couldn’t do the same when she was alone with Gustav, so just for today, she decided to cast away her ‘composed’ facade and let all of her pent up emotions out.
“Contrary to everyone else, I don’t know what I want to do! I never had a clear goal ahead of me! That’s why I was working so hard to be a good shrine maiden of longevity! For the first time ever, I had something to work hard for! But now I don’t have anything! I’m back at being that same empty husk from before!” – Said Natalia, in a sad tone, while tears streamed down her face.
Natalia was the first-born daughter of the Klingbeil household, a family of Dukes, so she was obviously one of the most important noble ladies of the Weiz Empire, right alongside Bianca. Although, because of that, she was forced to learn a little bit of everything from an early age. From harvesting crops, to finances and politics; the scope of Natalia’s study plan was really broad. She was even forced to learn how to deal with poisons at some point, which was a specialty of the Klingbeil household.
However, even though Natalia was already regarded as a prodigy by many people at the time, that study regimen was still a bit too hard for someone her age. There were times she even thought about running away from home, just to escape from that harsh environment. But, as a noble, it was her responsibility to ensure that the people of her territory would be led by a competent lord, not a sheltered princess, so she decided to endure her training.
For many years, becoming a good duchess was the only thing that she ever cared about, but after noticing that her cousins were experiencing the same things that happened to her, Natalia decided to become their emotional support, after all, she didn’t want to see the two giving up on themselves just for the sake of others, like she did.
But, before she noticed it, Natalia wasn’t needed anymore.
Albert found a reason to become the next Emperor without giving up on himself, and it was all thanks to his beloved fiancee, Leonora von Harkenberg.
Bianca was becoming more confident on herself after becoming a Child Loved by the Spirits, and it was all thanks to Leonora… again.
Even Leonora herself was learning to be more selfish lately, in order to shut up everyone who opposed her marriage with Albert.
However, Natalia was the only one who stayed the same.
“I’m…*Sob*…the only one who…*Sob*…doesn’t know what to do…*Sob*…with my life…!”
Natalia never wanted to be a shrine maiden of longevity. She knew that she wasn’t good enough for that role. But even so, she was scared of becoming that same old Natalia that only cared about being a good duchess, and nothing more.
“Wait, you don’t know what to do with your life? Then does that mean you don’t have any dreams, or some aspirations, that you want to fulfil? You know that you can create your own purposes in life, right?” – Asked Gustav, in a gentle tone, as he stared at the crying Natalia with a curious look on his face.
After being asked that, Natalia looked down and pondered for a while… until she remembered an old childhood dream that she once had–
“–I…*Sob*…I always wanted to know what it’s like…*Sob*…to fall in love with someone….”
Natalia tried to wipe away her tears and stop crying, but after remembering her old childhood dream, they just wouldn’t stop flowing. So, she decided to continue anyway.
“I want to create an unshakable bond with someone…*Sob*…I want to have fun with that person while we chat away an entire afternoon…*Sob*…I want to go on many dates with that person…*Sob*…I want to stay with the person I love until the end of our days… but that’s an impossible dream–”
Compared with the dreams and aspirations of her friends and family, Natalia’s dream a lot more simpler and childish… but also way harder to fulfil. Well, with enough time and patience, anyone could spend their entire lifetime with someone that they loved. However, that wasn’t so easily achievable for Natalia.
“–And do you want to know why–?”
Natalia then looked up and stared straight into Gustav’s blue eyes with a sad smile on her face, before continuing.
“–Because, of all people, I fell in love with you, a brutish guy who doesn’t care about love… so now I’m officially just another empty person with no dreams….”
After confessing her feelings for the holy knight, Natalia quickly wiped off her tears, then she turned around and started walking towards the main entrance of the cathedral.
In a way, Natalia was feeling kind of relieved after telling Gustav how she felt about him. She knew that her love had no future, so the sooner she gave up on him, the sooner she’d recover from this broken heart.
But just as Natalia was about reach out to open the front door of the church–
“Kyaah!”
–Gustav grabbed her waist and made her face him.
Natalia was obviously confused as to why Gustav suddenly did that, however, before she could even ask him his motives, she felt something warm pressing against her lips.
“\\\\\\\\\Nnnmh∼!?\\\\\\\\\”
At first, Natalia tried to free herself when she realized what was happening, but as the seconds passed, she stopped resisting Gustav’s passionate kiss and started enjoying it instead.
“\\\\\\\\\Nnnh∼♥\\\\\\\\\”
One minute?
Two minutes?
Maybe five?
Natalia didn’t know how much time had passed. The only thing she knew, was that she couldn’t even stand properly after her kiss with Gustav. It was like her legs had turned into jelly. So, just like a true knight in shining armor, Gustav carried Natalia like a princess to a nearby bench, and then sat by her side.
“The Natalia I know would never say something like: “This dream is impossible to fulfil.” Instead, she would make me change my mind about love, just like she made me change my mind about Leonora a few weeks ago. That’s the Natalia I know.” – Said Gustav, in a calm tone, as he traced the brunette’s rosy lips with his thumb.
“\\\\\\\\\Y-y-y-you want me to do what…!?\\\\\\\\\”
“Well, I’m not in a hurry, so you can take your time convincing me. Fufu, although, I can’t promise you I won’t lose control if you show me that cute crying face of yours again.”
After saying that, Gustav grinned at Natalia, then he stood up and started walking towards the inner chamber of the regret room.
However, on his way there, Gustav remembered something important, so he looked back at Natalia from over his shoulder, and said–
“–Oh, right, the numbness on your legs will probably be gone by nightfall, so you should wait a bit before heading back to your room.”
The moment Natalia heard that, she remembered what she said to Gustav on the day she poisoned him–
—The numbness on your body will probably be gone by dawn.
–So she couldn’t help but feel really embarrassed after having her own words thrown back at her.
“\\\\\\\\\Uuuuuh∼\\\\\\\\\”
“Don’t forget to be careful on your way back to the students’ dormitory, okay? A lone sheep can be an easy prey to a hungry wolf… or a pack of them.”
“\\\\\\\\\Ugh…! I-I know that already… y-you don’t have to remind me…\\\\\\\\\”
“Is that so? Then good night. See you tomorrow.”
After saying his goodbyes, Gustav then headed off to the inner chamber of the regret room, leaving behind an still embarrassed Natalia, who couldn’t stop thinking about the passionate kiss that she shared with him just a couple of minutes ago.
(\\\\\\Kyaaaah∼! Oh my god! I kissed him! I really kissed him! And it was a real one this time!\\\\\\)
Natalia was on cloud nine.
All the grief and sadness that she felt until now were blown away to oblivion.
No one would even believe that she was crying he eyes out just mere moments ago.
(\\\\\\And what’s more, that was a tongue kiss! I never thought a deep kiss could feel this good! Gustav is such a lewd beast!\\\\\\)
Natalia was so happy right now, that she wanted to scream and celebrate this moment with her friends. But, after considering the fact that Gustav was her teacher, Natalia decided it’d be better to hide this matter from them… well, at least not all of them.
When Natalia went to Leo for love advice, he was so surprised to know that she already had kissed Gustav twice, that he almost choked on his tea.
“You never really wanted to be a shrine maiden of longevity, did you…?”
“!!!!!!!!!”
After saying that, Gustav stayed quiet for a while just to see if Natalia would refute him in some way… but the brunette didn’t say anything, so the holy knight let out a sigh.
“Well, being a shrine maiden of longevity can be pretty tough, considering the fact that all women, regardless of status, think of them as perfect ladies. That’s why I can kind of understand why you’d let go of that role as soon as the Emperor found someone else to replace you… the pressure can be suffocating.”
“What are you talking about, sensei? I wasn’t feeling suffocated, or anything like that. Anyone would’ve done the same if they were in my shoes. I mean, who wouldn’t let got of that role for the Altruistic Saintess herself? Besides, you don’t have to be super smart to know that Leonora will be a way more competent shrine maiden of longevity than me, and that’s a fact.”
Everyone knew that a shrine maiden of longevity could be replaced at any time by someone more deserving of that role, so Natalia wasn’t really lying when she said that anyone would’ve done the same if they were in her shoes… however, the holy knight saw right through her attempt at deceiving him.
“Haaah∼, you can be really boring sometimes, you know that…?”
“I’m what…?”
“I said that you can be really boring sometimes. I mean, you don’t have to be so serious all the time, you know? I want to hear your opinion on all this, not the generic and morally right answer to my question.”
Natalia wasn’t really expecting to deceive Gustav with just that, but still, being called boring by him, of all people, made her a bit sad. However, since the holy knight didn’t know that, he just continued talking.
“You and your cousins are always talking about how Leonora needs to take care of herself a bit more, but in my eyes, you’re just as bad at taking care of yourself.”
“Ugh…! B-but I don’t put myself in danger all the time, so-!”
‘So that’s an unfair comparison!’ – Is what Natalia wanted to say, but Gustav cut her off before she could finish her sentence.
“Ha! You claim to not put yourself in danger all the time, but you know that poisoning someone is a crime, right? You could go to jail if someone ever found out about that, which is exactly my point. You become so reckless when it comes to your friends and family, that you’d do anything just to protect them.”
Natalia couldn’t refute the holy knight this time. Gustav was so good at observing other people, that it was almost impossible to hide anything from him, which only made Natalia feel even more depressed than she already was, after all, she knew that he was right about everything.
“Well, being protective of the people you care about isn’t really a bad thing, but I still think you should take care of yourself a bit more. I mean, it’s not like you have to give up on everything you want to do, just to make the people around you happy, you know? Piling up regrets can be really bad for you.”
On the other hand, Gustav was doing his best to make Natalia open up to him, since he still had to hear why she was feeling so down, in order to give her some useful advice–
“But, like I said earlier, the pressure of being a shrine maiden of longevity can be a bit too much for some people, so I can understand why you’d give up on that role without a fight.”
“…*Whisper*…Shut up….”
–However, no matter how hard Gustav tried, he only managed to make Natalia feel more and more irritated, after all, even though he had good intentions, his words sounded awfully condescending.
“What I can’t understand though, is why you’re feeling so down if you didn’t even want to be a shrine maiden of longevity in the first place. This doesn’t make any-”
“I know that this doesn’t make any sense, okay!? So shut up already!”
After reaching the boiling point, and shouting that, Natalia started tearing up. She was crying mainly because of everything that happened to her recently, but Gustav obviously didn’t know that, so he quickly apologized to her–
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry… I was just-”
“No one cares about what I think!”
–However, the brunette didn’t want to hear the holy knight’s apology right now. She just wanted to vent all this frustration that was pilling up inside of her.
“Even though being the next shrine maiden of longevity of the Weiz Empire was a lot of pressure, I studied really hard, every day, just to be deserving of that title! So of course I wasn’t okay when His Majesty asked me to hand that role to Leonora! Who would be okay with something like that!? It’s so unfair!”
Natalia always kept her cool in front of everyone, but for some reason, she just couldn’t do the same when she was alone with Gustav, so just for today, she decided to cast away her ‘composed’ facade and let all of her pent up emotions out.
“Contrary to everyone else, I don’t know what I want to do! I never had a clear goal ahead of me! That’s why I was working so hard to be a good shrine maiden of longevity! For the first time ever, I had something to work hard for! But now I don’t have anything! I’m back at being that same empty husk from before!” – Said Natalia, in a sad tone, while tears streamed down her face.
Natalia was the first-born daughter of the Klingbeil household, a family of Dukes, so she was obviously one of the most important noble ladies of the Weiz Empire, right alongside Bianca. Although, because of that, she was forced to learn a little bit of everything from an early age. From harvesting crops, to finances and politics; the scope of Natalia’s study plan was really broad. She was even forced to learn how to deal with poisons at some point, which was a specialty of the Klingbeil household.
However, even though Natalia was already regarded as a prodigy by many people at the time, that study regimen was still a bit too hard for someone her age. There were times she even thought about running away from home, just to escape from that harsh environment. But, as a noble, it was her responsibility to ensure that the people of her territory would be led by a competent lord, not a sheltered princess, so she decided to endure her training.
For many years, becoming a good duchess was the only thing that she ever cared about, but after noticing that her cousins were experiencing the same things that happened to her, Natalia decided to become their emotional support, after all, she didn’t want to see the two giving up on themselves just for the sake of others, like she did.
But, before she noticed it, Natalia wasn’t needed anymore.
Albert found a reason to become the next Emperor without giving up on himself, and it was all thanks to his beloved fiancee, Leonora von Harkenberg.
Bianca was becoming more confident on herself after becoming a Child Loved by the Spirits, and it was all thanks to Leonora… again.
Even Leonora herself was learning to be more selfish lately, in order to shut up everyone who opposed her marriage with Albert.
However, Natalia was the only one who stayed the same.
“I’m…*Sob*…the only one who…*Sob*…doesn’t know what to do…*Sob*…with my life…!”
Natalia never wanted to be a shrine maiden of longevity. She knew that she wasn’t good enough for that role. But even so, she was scared of becoming that same old Natalia that only cared about being a good duchess, and nothing more.
“Wait, you don’t know what to do with your life? Then does that mean you don’t have any dreams, or some aspirations, that you want to fulfil? You know that you can create your own purposes in life, right?” – Asked Gustav, in a gentle tone, as he stared at the crying Natalia with a curious look on his face.
After being asked that, Natalia looked down and pondered for a while… until she remembered an old childhood dream that she once had–
“–I…*Sob*…I always wanted to know what it’s like…*Sob*…to fall in love with someone….”
Natalia tried to wipe away her tears and stop crying, but after remembering her old childhood dream, they just wouldn’t stop flowing. So, she decided to continue anyway.
“I want to create an unshakable bond with someone…*Sob*…I want to have fun with that person while we chat away an entire afternoon…*Sob*…I want to go on many dates with that person…*Sob*…I want to stay with the person I love until the end of our days… but that’s an impossible dream–”
Compared with the dreams and aspirations of her friends and family, Natalia’s dream a lot more simpler and childish… but also way harder to fulfil. Well, with enough time and patience, anyone could spend their entire lifetime with someone that they loved. However, that wasn’t so easily achievable for Natalia.
“–And do you want to know why–?”
Natalia then looked up and stared straight into Gustav’s blue eyes with a sad smile on her face, before continuing.
“–Because, of all people, I fell in love with you, a brutish guy who doesn’t care about love… so now I’m officially just another empty person with no dreams….”
After confessing her feelings for the holy knight, Natalia quickly wiped off her tears, then she turned around and started walking towards the main entrance of the cathedral.
In a way, Natalia was feeling kind of relieved after telling Gustav how she felt about him. She knew that her love had no future, so the sooner she gave up on him, the sooner she’d recover from this broken heart.
But just as Natalia was about reach out to open the front door of the church–
“Kyaah!”
–Gustav grabbed her waist and made her face him.
Natalia was obviously confused as to why Gustav suddenly did that, however, before she could even ask him his motives, she felt something warm pressing against her lips.
“\\\\\\\\\Nnnmh∼!?\\\\\\\\\”
At first, Natalia tried to free herself when she realized what was happening, but as the seconds passed, she stopped resisting Gustav’s passionate kiss and started enjoying it instead.
“\\\\\\\\\Nnnh∼♥\\\\\\\\\”
One minute?
Two minutes?
Maybe five?
Natalia didn’t know how much time had passed. The only thing she knew, was that she couldn’t even stand properly after her kiss with Gustav. It was like her legs had turned into jelly. So, just like a true knight in shining armor, Gustav carried Natalia like a princess to a nearby bench, and then sat by her side.
“The Natalia I know would never say something like: “This dream is impossible to fulfil.” Instead, she would make me change my mind about love, just like she made me change my mind about Leonora a few weeks ago. That’s the Natalia I know.” – Said Gustav, in a calm tone, as he traced the brunette’s rosy lips with his thumb.
“\\\\\\\\\Y-y-y-you want me to do what…!?\\\\\\\\\”
“Well, I’m not in a hurry, so you can take your time convincing me. Fufu, although, I can’t promise you I won’t lose control if you show me that cute crying face of yours again.”
After saying that, Gustav grinned at Natalia, then he stood up and started walking towards the inner chamber of the regret room.
However, on his way there, Gustav remembered something important, so he looked back at Natalia from over his shoulder, and said–
“–Oh, right, the numbness on your legs will probably be gone by nightfall, so you should wait a bit before heading back to your room.”
The moment Natalia heard that, she remembered what she said to Gustav on the day she poisoned him–
—The numbness on your body will probably be gone by dawn.
–So she couldn’t help but feel really embarrassed after having her own words thrown back at her.
“\\\\\\\\\Uuuuuh∼\\\\\\\\\”
“Don’t forget to be careful on your way back to the students’ dormitory, okay? A lone sheep can be an easy prey to a hungry wolf… or a pack of them.”
“\\\\\\\\\Ugh…! I-I know that already… y-you don’t have to remind me…\\\\\\\\\”
“Is that so? Then good night. See you tomorrow.”
After saying his goodbyes, Gustav then headed off to the inner chamber of the regret room, leaving behind an still embarrassed Natalia, who couldn’t stop thinking about the passionate kiss that she shared with him just a couple of minutes ago.
(\\\\\\Kyaaaah∼! Oh my god! I kissed him! I really kissed him! And it was a real one this time!\\\\\\)
Natalia was on cloud nine.
All the grief and sadness that she felt until now were blown away to oblivion.
No one would even believe that she was crying he eyes out just mere moments ago.
(\\\\\\And what’s more, that was a tongue kiss! I never thought a deep kiss could feel this good! Gustav is such a lewd beast!\\\\\\)
Natalia was so happy right now, that she wanted to scream and celebrate this moment with her friends. But, after considering the fact that Gustav was her teacher, Natalia decided it’d be better to hide this matter from them… well, at least not all of them.
When Natalia went to Leo for love advice, he was so surprised to know that she already had kissed Gustav twice, that he almost choked on his tea.
