Chapter 32
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The rain continued to roar after Arata had gone home. He was air-drying his hair when he walked out of the bathroom with only a bathrobe on to cover himself. He did not have any guests, and he doubt anyone would come at this weather. It was the 9 PM action time, and all he thought of was sleeping already.
"I should have blow dried my hair..." Arata murmured as he stared at his made bed.
The doorbell sounded along the walls of the house. The owner of the house walked out of his room and made his way to the door. He peeped through the hole and immediately grabbed the knob to twist it. He cried as he swung the door, "Attori!?"
The mad girl came to him in the middle of the night, amidst the heavy rain. She only had her raincoat over her fleece jacket and dress, and she was dripping all over the entry mat. The moisture and cold of the rain condensed inside her coat, still soaking her clothes. Her boots were dripping, and her socks had become soggy and uneven.
The boyfriend let her inside the house, and she started slipping the wet garments off of her as soon as he closed the door behind her. Arata ran to the toilet in the first floor, raiding the closet for any spare towel. He came back to a girl with just her thin blue slip that was underneath her dress, soon covering her shoulders and back with the absorbent fabric.
"What happened to you? Why did you come here this late? And the rain..." Arata combed his hand through her sticky, wet hair.
"I just... missed you." Attori smiled like a soft girl.
"We see each other a lot. We met each other in class earlier." He hugged her as if warming her faster than the towel did. "Didn't we?"
"We did, but you haven't held me for a long while." She returned his embrace, whispering against his neck, "It's always those other girls. When did they become so much more important? Didn't you promise me that I'll be your number one?"
"I'm sorry... I didn't realize I had been... neglecting you." He planted a kiss on head. "I got confident that you'll be okay as long as I see you from time to time outside of school." He held her tighter. "Are you mad?"
Attori kept her silence. She only held onto him for quite a while before pulling back, breaking from his hold. She smiled at him, forcing her deviousness to lift her spirits. "Can I stay here tonight? Am I disturbing you and someone else?"
"No, no one's here. You can head to the bedroom." He caressed her head before he collected her wet apparel. "I'm just going to take care of these." He watched her go as he walked backwards, towards the washing room next to the toilet.
Arata hanged the raincoat and laundered the other pieces of her garments such as socks and cotton jacket. He set the timer to wash and dry. The player then stood up straight and watched the clothes whir inside the machine. To think about it, he did spend a lot more memorable moments with other girls. The hours he is with Attori did not equate to a precious moment of any date he just had.
The girlfriend had gone up to the bedroom, only with the towel warming her shuddering body. His momentary hold was not enough; it started being not enough. She opened the door to see the room she had seen before, only to be surprised by new displays on the wall. Photographs. It was the new achievement board called Moments wall, but she did not know that. Attori went to see the big framed photo of their first date, the one they had in the Lumen Park Skate Alley. A smile curled her lips, but it fell as she saw the others.
It was not because he had put up seven framed photos, one girl each; it was because of his smile. The way he smiled was just the same as he had when he was with Attori. She had been questioning the recent changes in Arata's behavior, and yet she was too blind to notice this... smile. She had a bigger frame, but the smile in it was nothing more special than the rest. She picked up the one with Ruby in it. She remembered how the queen looked at her when she entered the room yesterday. It was look of victory.
Her fingers curled in anger, but her poker face refused to waver. She thought of throwing the photo against the wall, but she knew Arata would be disappointed. She was so sure the man had already picked her, but she felt nothing more compared to the others.
"Is something wrong?" Arata had walked into the room, sending an invisible scare to the girl.
"Ah, nothing really." She placed the framed photo back in its place, hand trembling in the urge to throw it at the man. "Arata, can I ask you something? I haven't asked about it before, because I thought you're just being kind. But from time to time, you act like you're actively seeking the attention of the other girls..." She walked towards him with a plastered smile. "Am I really not that enough for you?"
A sudden pang hit Arata. He did not forget that he swore to Attori that he was only entertaining them because they come to him. Before, it was all for kindness and consideration.
"No!" The man blurted before panicking and reaching to hold her shoulders. "I mean, you've always been the best thing I ever had!" He paused as he averted his eyes from her face. "It's just that..." He walked towards the bed and sat down, head down and arms on his thighs. "What is happening to Keiko bothered me a lot. I just feel like, if I don't respond to everyone's needed care, trouble will break out, and someone will get hurt."
He stared at the scar on his hand. "I'm scared you'd be blamed for something I had done. I'm scared to lose one of my few friends..."
"But it's not your fault Wakaba wanted to have you for herself. It's not your fault that she attacked me, and I had to attack her back. It's not your fault if any of us gets hurt. It was because we're stupid and desperate." Attori frowned at the melancholic man and started raising her voice. "Aren't you getting too full of yourself? You think you can control everyone around you? Don't talk like we're just here to entertain you.
"It doesn't matter who you picked, and it doesn't matter who you favor soon. No matter what happens, there will always be someone who would want more, and the more you give them what they like, the more they cross the line." Attori started talking in a softer tone. "I love you, Arata. And so does everyone. We all just want you for ourselves, but we have to consider the fact that... you don't like that. Wakaba doesn't get it, and she could care less if she doesn't. As long as she gets you, she'll be okay."
The blue-haired girl walked to him and held his head against her abdomen. She whispered in a soft voice, "Arata, I'm pregnant."
"Wait, what?" Arata abruptly pulled his head away from her hold, looking up at her face to see how blank it had been. Shock paralyzed him and prevented him from making any sound. His face wriggled in battle between celebrating a good news and lamenting over something he cannot undo.
"The terror in your eyes just now told me... that you were screwed not because you don't love me, but because you knew you couldn't be caught with other women anymore." Attori suddenly smiled deviously at him. "Of course, it's a lie. I wouldn't be able to keep my cool if I was really pregnant with our baby."
"Please don't do things like that! It's so bad for my heart!" Arata sobbed before holding Attori by the waist and rubbing his face against her abdomen. He was savoring the scent of her skin against the cool rain, and the warmth that hid underneath the cold moisture of her slip.
However, he felt the fabric fell unto his head. He pulled his head back and saw that Attori had slipped the straps off of her shoulders, letting it fall down to his arms. She then held on his shoulders and pushed him down the bed. With her wet hair sprawling from her head down around Arata's face, there was little to no light that reflected on her blue eyes.
"I've never known you to be so vulnerable. You were always cool and composed, like a perfect being that does no mistake." She continued to whisper. "Wakaba Keiko must have poisoned you. She cracked you like an egg, and now you're struggling to keep yourself together. I won't let anyone continue to hurt you that way."
"What are you planning to do?" Arata stared at her eyes as she loomed her face against his.
"What I've always wanted. What Mama had warned me against the entire time. What Tohsaki should fear. What Wakaba had been begging for since that day..." She smiled and soon stroked at his face with her knuckles. "Why don't you just sit tight for now? Tomorrow, Saturday, next week... you don't have to worry about anything."
The man grabbed her wrist that was closest to his face. "You're not going to hurt Keiko. I need her to stay with me."
"Why? Is she really that important to you? Is it because you still wanted to marry her after all this time?" Attori glared at him. "What makes her more special than your own health?"
"It's..." His grip on her wrist tightened, but not to shatter it. It was a way to keep himself from trembling more than he should. The man who easily gets frightened decided to confront the woman capable of bringing chaos, the same woman he chose. "It's not her... that I am protecting..." He closed his eyes, trying to control his words correctly, before opening them again and staring at those deadpan blue eyes before him. "It's my pride..."
"Pride?"
"I'm a god, Attori. This life... is the only thing I have left, and is the only thing I could be proud of. If I fail to get everyone, my reputation will be lost. If I fail to keep everyone, my reputation will also be lost." His hold on her weakened. "This world... and you... are the only ones that make me feel alive. If I fail, I wouldn't feel so good. I'd start caring less and less... to the point that I'll ask to be... deleted...
"It sounds like a terrible lie, but this is what this means to me, Attori. I will desperately hold onto and change Keiko if I had to, while keeping up with pressure coming from every woman I have conquer." Arata just kept on spouting, ignoring the confused look on the girl's face. "I love you... so much... but I cannot just stay here cooped up in my room. I had to keep on playing the game... for you..."
"I don't understand how this is a game for you..." Attori pulled back and sat on his groin. "Are you saying you are compelled to romance and screw everyone?"
"By my stature, yes." Arata managed to lift his torso to see more of her. His chest was moving up and down in fear, his heart raging inside its cage in terror.
"But if you have the choice of picking only one, it would be me?" Her voice had become softer and more sentient compared to the one earlier, that was both murderous and cold.
"Yes."
"But you're not allowed to do that... because you're a god?"
"Yes..." He then sighed discreetly. "Actually, no. I have that choice, but it's too late to take it now. I've already taken the path to getting everyone that I see fit. You're the best one I have, and the one I would love to keep... but you're not my only option, you're my choice."
"...Is this... the source of your nightmares?" She asked again, this time, with a worried voice.
Seeing that the mood had gone better, Arata smiled and nodded. "It kinda got complicated a while back. I'm sorry if I worried you about them. Living in the border of two worlds is a little hard to manage, especially when I need both."
"Who else knew about this?"
"...A fairy in Lumen Park. Like me, she existed in both worlds, but her existence doesn't impact the worlds too much. She's not a god like me..." Arata was starting to chuckle, still scared for a turnaround of the situation. However, he was grateful for the path of their conversation. "All my escapades with the others... are all out of nature and need as a god..."
"...And you're letting me in your secret, why?" The girl stared at him again.
"Because I thought... I shouldn't lie to you, to the girl I love the most. I needed your permission to continue, and I needed to convince you that everything... is going to work out. You don't need to harm anyone..." His breath kept on hitching, uncertain of his answers.
"And you're planning to hide this from me until when?"
"I have no idea I could say this to you. I was scared that I would get punished if I do." He shook his head carefully. "I don't want to lose you."
Attori averted her gaze from him. She stared at the things around the room that felt strange to her, like the trophies, books, and frames that were not supposed to be displayed in one's bedroom. She then brought her eyes on his computer and to the journal lying on his nightstand. She brought her gaze back to Arata's face.
"Do you expect me to believe all of this?"
"...I wish you would."
"So a god came to the school, and made different girls fall in love with him. So much that they might end up hurting each other. But in under no circumstances that one should be killed. Everyone gets a happy story with the god, while he frolic in their beds." Her voice trailed at every end of her sentences. "Sounds about right to describe you..."
"Do you believe me, Attori?" Arata whispered to confirm her thoughts. He watched her look down at him.
"No."
Another pang came to his heart. The ruthless blue eyes that looked down upon him shredded him more than he could count into pieces that he would never imagine to see. Arata stared at the female who was looking so blank on top of him. His mouth began to twitch as he started to beg. "A-Attori, I'm telling you the truth..."
'Ah, he never learns,' Attori thought.
The woman smiled again at him with her devious smirk. "I know you're not just an ordinary man, Arata. I just didn't think that you are a god." She flicked his nose with force. "You've always been so submissive to me. I didn't think I would have a god under me whenever I join him in bed. Isn't it fantastic?"
"You lost me already..." He consoled his nose.
"Hey, what you said was more confusing, and I followed just fine." She puffed before flicking his nose again, making it redder than the rest of his face. She then leaned down and kissed his nose. Pulling up a little, she smiled with her eyes gleaming meaningfully. "I'm saying... I don't need to 'believe' you. I already know."
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The rain continued to roar after Arata had gone home. He was air-drying his hair when he walked out of the bathroom with only a bathrobe on to cover himself. He did not have any guests, and he doubt anyone would come at this weather. It was the 9 PM action time, and all he thought of was sleeping already.
"I should have blow dried my hair..." Arata murmured as he stared at his made bed.
The doorbell sounded along the walls of the house. The owner of the house walked out of his room and made his way to the door. He peeped through the hole and immediately grabbed the knob to twist it. He cried as he swung the door, "Attori!?"
The mad girl came to him in the middle of the night, amidst the heavy rain. She only had her raincoat over her fleece jacket and dress, and she was dripping all over the entry mat. The moisture and cold of the rain condensed inside her coat, still soaking her clothes. Her boots were dripping, and her socks had become soggy and uneven.
The boyfriend let her inside the house, and she started slipping the wet garments off of her as soon as he closed the door behind her. Arata ran to the toilet in the first floor, raiding the closet for any spare towel. He came back to a girl with just her thin blue slip that was underneath her dress, soon covering her shoulders and back with the absorbent fabric.
"What happened to you? Why did you come here this late? And the rain..." Arata combed his hand through her sticky, wet hair.
"I just... missed you." Attori smiled like a soft girl.
"We see each other a lot. We met each other in class earlier." He hugged her as if warming her faster than the towel did. "Didn't we?"
"We did, but you haven't held me for a long while." She returned his embrace, whispering against his neck, "It's always those other girls. When did they become so much more important? Didn't you promise me that I'll be your number one?"
"I'm sorry... I didn't realize I had been... neglecting you." He planted a kiss on head. "I got confident that you'll be okay as long as I see you from time to time outside of school." He held her tighter. "Are you mad?"
Attori kept her silence. She only held onto him for quite a while before pulling back, breaking from his hold. She smiled at him, forcing her deviousness to lift her spirits. "Can I stay here tonight? Am I disturbing you and someone else?"
"No, no one's here. You can head to the bedroom." He caressed her head before he collected her wet apparel. "I'm just going to take care of these." He watched her go as he walked backwards, towards the washing room next to the toilet.
Arata hanged the raincoat and laundered the other pieces of her garments such as socks and cotton jacket. He set the timer to wash and dry. The player then stood up straight and watched the clothes whir inside the machine. To think about it, he did spend a lot more memorable moments with other girls. The hours he is with Attori did not equate to a precious moment of any date he just had.
The girlfriend had gone up to the bedroom, only with the towel warming her shuddering body. His momentary hold was not enough; it started being not enough. She opened the door to see the room she had seen before, only to be surprised by new displays on the wall. Photographs. It was the new achievement board called Moments wall, but she did not know that. Attori went to see the big framed photo of their first date, the one they had in the Lumen Park Skate Alley. A smile curled her lips, but it fell as she saw the others.
It was not because he had put up seven framed photos, one girl each; it was because of his smile. The way he smiled was just the same as he had when he was with Attori. She had been questioning the recent changes in Arata's behavior, and yet she was too blind to notice this... smile. She had a bigger frame, but the smile in it was nothing more special than the rest. She picked up the one with Ruby in it. She remembered how the queen looked at her when she entered the room yesterday. It was look of victory.
Her fingers curled in anger, but her poker face refused to waver. She thought of throwing the photo against the wall, but she knew Arata would be disappointed. She was so sure the man had already picked her, but she felt nothing more compared to the others.
"Is something wrong?" Arata had walked into the room, sending an invisible scare to the girl.
"Ah, nothing really." She placed the framed photo back in its place, hand trembling in the urge to throw it at the man. "Arata, can I ask you something? I haven't asked about it before, because I thought you're just being kind. But from time to time, you act like you're actively seeking the attention of the other girls..." She walked towards him with a plastered smile. "Am I really not that enough for you?"
A sudden pang hit Arata. He did not forget that he swore to Attori that he was only entertaining them because they come to him. Before, it was all for kindness and consideration.
"No!" The man blurted before panicking and reaching to hold her shoulders. "I mean, you've always been the best thing I ever had!" He paused as he averted his eyes from her face. "It's just that..." He walked towards the bed and sat down, head down and arms on his thighs. "What is happening to Keiko bothered me a lot. I just feel like, if I don't respond to everyone's needed care, trouble will break out, and someone will get hurt."
He stared at the scar on his hand. "I'm scared you'd be blamed for something I had done. I'm scared to lose one of my few friends..."
"But it's not your fault Wakaba wanted to have you for herself. It's not your fault that she attacked me, and I had to attack her back. It's not your fault if any of us gets hurt. It was because we're stupid and desperate." Attori frowned at the melancholic man and started raising her voice. "Aren't you getting too full of yourself? You think you can control everyone around you? Don't talk like we're just here to entertain you.
"It doesn't matter who you picked, and it doesn't matter who you favor soon. No matter what happens, there will always be someone who would want more, and the more you give them what they like, the more they cross the line." Attori started talking in a softer tone. "I love you, Arata. And so does everyone. We all just want you for ourselves, but we have to consider the fact that... you don't like that. Wakaba doesn't get it, and she could care less if she doesn't. As long as she gets you, she'll be okay."
The blue-haired girl walked to him and held his head against her abdomen. She whispered in a soft voice, "Arata, I'm pregnant."
"Wait, what?" Arata abruptly pulled his head away from her hold, looking up at her face to see how blank it had been. Shock paralyzed him and prevented him from making any sound. His face wriggled in battle between celebrating a good news and lamenting over something he cannot undo.
"The terror in your eyes just now told me... that you were screwed not because you don't love me, but because you knew you couldn't be caught with other women anymore." Attori suddenly smiled deviously at him. "Of course, it's a lie. I wouldn't be able to keep my cool if I was really pregnant with our baby."
"Please don't do things like that! It's so bad for my heart!" Arata sobbed before holding Attori by the waist and rubbing his face against her abdomen. He was savoring the scent of her skin against the cool rain, and the warmth that hid underneath the cold moisture of her slip.
However, he felt the fabric fell unto his head. He pulled his head back and saw that Attori had slipped the straps off of her shoulders, letting it fall down to his arms. She then held on his shoulders and pushed him down the bed. With her wet hair sprawling from her head down around Arata's face, there was little to no light that reflected on her blue eyes.
"I've never known you to be so vulnerable. You were always cool and composed, like a perfect being that does no mistake." She continued to whisper. "Wakaba Keiko must have poisoned you. She cracked you like an egg, and now you're struggling to keep yourself together. I won't let anyone continue to hurt you that way."
"What are you planning to do?" Arata stared at her eyes as she loomed her face against his.
"What I've always wanted. What Mama had warned me against the entire time. What Tohsaki should fear. What Wakaba had been begging for since that day..." She smiled and soon stroked at his face with her knuckles. "Why don't you just sit tight for now? Tomorrow, Saturday, next week... you don't have to worry about anything."
The man grabbed her wrist that was closest to his face. "You're not going to hurt Keiko. I need her to stay with me."
"Why? Is she really that important to you? Is it because you still wanted to marry her after all this time?" Attori glared at him. "What makes her more special than your own health?"
"It's..." His grip on her wrist tightened, but not to shatter it. It was a way to keep himself from trembling more than he should. The man who easily gets frightened decided to confront the woman capable of bringing chaos, the same woman he chose. "It's not her... that I am protecting..." He closed his eyes, trying to control his words correctly, before opening them again and staring at those deadpan blue eyes before him. "It's my pride..."
"Pride?"
"I'm a god, Attori. This life... is the only thing I have left, and is the only thing I could be proud of. If I fail to get everyone, my reputation will be lost. If I fail to keep everyone, my reputation will also be lost." His hold on her weakened. "This world... and you... are the only ones that make me feel alive. If I fail, I wouldn't feel so good. I'd start caring less and less... to the point that I'll ask to be... deleted...
"It sounds like a terrible lie, but this is what this means to me, Attori. I will desperately hold onto and change Keiko if I had to, while keeping up with pressure coming from every woman I have conquer." Arata just kept on spouting, ignoring the confused look on the girl's face. "I love you... so much... but I cannot just stay here cooped up in my room. I had to keep on playing the game... for you..."
"I don't understand how this is a game for you..." Attori pulled back and sat on his groin. "Are you saying you are compelled to romance and screw everyone?"
"By my stature, yes." Arata managed to lift his torso to see more of her. His chest was moving up and down in fear, his heart raging inside its cage in terror.
"But if you have the choice of picking only one, it would be me?" Her voice had become softer and more sentient compared to the one earlier, that was both murderous and cold.
"Yes."
"But you're not allowed to do that... because you're a god?"
"Yes..." He then sighed discreetly. "Actually, no. I have that choice, but it's too late to take it now. I've already taken the path to getting everyone that I see fit. You're the best one I have, and the one I would love to keep... but you're not my only option, you're my choice."
"...Is this... the source of your nightmares?" She asked again, this time, with a worried voice.
Seeing that the mood had gone better, Arata smiled and nodded. "It kinda got complicated a while back. I'm sorry if I worried you about them. Living in the border of two worlds is a little hard to manage, especially when I need both."
"Who else knew about this?"
"...A fairy in Lumen Park. Like me, she existed in both worlds, but her existence doesn't impact the worlds too much. She's not a god like me..." Arata was starting to chuckle, still scared for a turnaround of the situation. However, he was grateful for the path of their conversation. "All my escapades with the others... are all out of nature and need as a god..."
"...And you're letting me in your secret, why?" The girl stared at him again.
"Because I thought... I shouldn't lie to you, to the girl I love the most. I needed your permission to continue, and I needed to convince you that everything... is going to work out. You don't need to harm anyone..." His breath kept on hitching, uncertain of his answers.
"And you're planning to hide this from me until when?"
"I have no idea I could say this to you. I was scared that I would get punished if I do." He shook his head carefully. "I don't want to lose you."
Attori averted her gaze from him. She stared at the things around the room that felt strange to her, like the trophies, books, and frames that were not supposed to be displayed in one's bedroom. She then brought her eyes on his computer and to the journal lying on his nightstand. She brought her gaze back to Arata's face.
"Do you expect me to believe all of this?"
"...I wish you would."
"So a god came to the school, and made different girls fall in love with him. So much that they might end up hurting each other. But in under no circumstances that one should be killed. Everyone gets a happy story with the god, while he frolic in their beds." Her voice trailed at every end of her sentences. "Sounds about right to describe you..."
"Do you believe me, Attori?" Arata whispered to confirm her thoughts. He watched her look down at him.
"No."
Another pang came to his heart. The ruthless blue eyes that looked down upon him shredded him more than he could count into pieces that he would never imagine to see. Arata stared at the female who was looking so blank on top of him. His mouth began to twitch as he started to beg. "A-Attori, I'm telling you the truth..."
'Ah, he never learns,' Attori thought.
The woman smiled again at him with her devious smirk. "I know you're not just an ordinary man, Arata. I just didn't think that you are a god." She flicked his nose with force. "You've always been so submissive to me. I didn't think I would have a god under me whenever I join him in bed. Isn't it fantastic?"
"You lost me already..." He consoled his nose.
"Hey, what you said was more confusing, and I followed just fine." She puffed before flicking his nose again, making it redder than the rest of his face. She then leaned down and kissed his nose. Pulling up a little, she smiled with her eyes gleaming meaningfully. "I'm saying... I don't need to 'believe' you. I already know."
The rain continued to roar after Arata had gone home. He was air-drying his hair when he walked out of the bathroom with only a bathrobe on to cover himself. He did not have any guests, and he doubt anyone would come at this weather. It was the 9 PM action time, and all he thought of was sleeping already."I should have blow dried my hair..." Arata murmured as he stared at his made bed.The doorbell sounded along the walls of the house. The owner of the house walked out of his room and made his way to the door. He peeped through the hole and immediately grabbed the knob to twist it. He cried as he swung the door, "Attori!?"The mad girl came to him in the middle of the night, amidst the heavy rain. She only had her raincoat over her fleece jacket and dress, and she was dripping all over the entry mat. The moisture and cold of the rain condensed inside her coat, still soaking her clothes. Her boots were dripping, and her socks had become soggy and uneven.The boyfriend let her inside the house, and she started slipping the wet garments off of her as soon as he closed the door behind her. Arata ran to the toilet in the first floor, raiding the closet for any spare towel. He came back to a girl with just her thin blue slip that was underneath her dress, soon covering her shoulders and back with the absorbent fabric."What happened to you? Why did you come here this late? And the rain..." Arata combed his hand through her sticky, wet hair."I just... missed you." Attori smiled like a soft girl."We see each other a lot. We met each other in class earlier." He hugged her as if warming her faster than the towel did. "Didn't we?""We did, but you haven't held me for a long while." She returned his embrace, whispering against his neck, "It's always those other girls. When did they become so much more important? Didn't you promise me that I'll be your number one?""I'm sorry... I didn't realize I had been... neglecting you." He planted a kiss on head. "I got confident that you'll be okay as long as I see you from time to time outside of school." He held her tighter. "Are you mad?"Attori kept her silence. She only held onto him for quite a while before pulling back, breaking from his hold. She smiled at him, forcing her deviousness to lift her spirits. "Can I stay here tonight? Am I disturbing you and someone else?""No, no one's here. You can head to the bedroom." He caressed her head before he collected her wet apparel. "I'm just going to take care of these." He watched her go as he walked backwards, towards the washing room next to the toilet.Arata hanged the raincoat and laundered the other pieces of her garments such as socks and cotton jacket. He set the timer to wash and dry. The player then stood up straight and watched the clothes whir inside the machine. To think about it, he did spend a lot more memorable moments with other girls. The hours he is with Attori did not equate to a precious moment of any date he just had.The girlfriend had gone up to the bedroom, only with the towel warming her shuddering body. His momentary hold was not enough; it started being not enough. She opened the door to see the room she had seen before, only to be surprised by new displays on the wall. Photographs. It was the new achievement board called Moments wall, but she did not know that. Attori went to see the big framed photo of their first date, the one they had in the Lumen Park Skate Alley. A smile curled her lips, but it fell as she saw the others.It was not because he had put up seven framed photos, one girl each; it was because of his smile. The way he smiled was just the same as he had when he was with Attori. She had been questioning the recent changes in Arata's behavior, and yet she was too blind to notice this... smile. She had a bigger frame, but the smile in it was nothing more special than the rest. She picked up the one with Ruby in it. She remembered how the queen looked at her when she entered the room yesterday. It was look of victory.Her fingers curled in anger, but her poker face refused to waver. She thought of throwing the photo against the wall, but she knew Arata would be disappointed. She was so sure the man had already picked her, but she felt nothing more compared to the others."Is something wrong?" Arata had walked into the room, sending an invisible scare to the girl."Ah, nothing really." She placed the framed photo back in its place, hand trembling in the urge to throw it at the man. "Arata, can I ask you something? I haven't asked about it before, because I thought you're just being kind. But from time to time, you act like you're actively seeking the attention of the other girls..." She walked towards him with a plastered smile. "Am I really not that enough for you?"A sudden pang hit Arata. He did not forget that he swore to Attori that he was only entertaining them because they come to him. Before, it was all for kindness and consideration."No!" The man blurted before panicking and reaching to hold her shoulders. "I mean, you've always been the best thing I ever had!" He paused as he averted his eyes from her face. "It's just that..." He walked towards the bed and sat down, head down and arms on his thighs. "What is happening to Keiko bothered me a lot. I just feel like, if I don't respond to everyone's needed care, trouble will break out, and someone will get hurt."He stared at the scar on his hand. "I'm scared you'd be blamed for something I had done. I'm scared to lose one of my few friends...""But it's not your fault Wakaba wanted to have you for herself. It's not your fault that she attacked me, and I had to attack her back. It's not your fault if any of us gets hurt. It was because we're stupid and desperate." Attori frowned at the melancholic man and started raising her voice. "Aren't you getting too full of yourself? You think you can control everyone around you? Don't talk like we're just here to entertain you."It doesn't matter who you picked, and it doesn't matter who you favor soon. No matter what happens, there will always be someone who would want more, and the more you give them what they like, the more they cross the line." Attori started talking in a softer tone. "I love you, Arata. And so does everyone. We all just want you for ourselves, but we have to consider the fact that... you don't like that. Wakaba doesn't get it, and she could care less if she doesn't. As long as she gets you, she'll be okay."The blue-haired girl walked to him and held his head against her abdomen. She whispered in a soft voice, "Arata, I'm pregnant.""Wait, what?" Arata abruptly pulled his head away from her hold, looking up at her face to see how blank it had been. Shock paralyzed him and prevented him from making any sound. His face wriggled in battle between celebrating a good news and lamenting over something he cannot undo."The terror in your eyes just now told me... that you were screwed not because you don't love me, but because you knew you couldn't be caught with other women anymore." Attori suddenly smiled deviously at him. "Of course, it's a lie. I wouldn't be able to keep my cool if I was really pregnant with our baby.""Please don't do things like that! It's so bad for my heart!" Arata sobbed before holding Attori by the waist and rubbing his face against her abdomen. He was savoring the scent of her skin against the cool rain, and the warmth that hid underneath the cold moisture of her slip.However, he felt the fabric fell unto his head. He pulled his head back and saw that Attori had slipped the straps off of her shoulders, letting it fall down to his arms. She then held on his shoulders and pushed him down the bed. With her wet hair sprawling from her head down around Arata's face, there was little to no light that reflected on her blue eyes."I've never known you to be so vulnerable. You were always cool and composed, like a perfect being that does no mistake." She continued to whisper. "Wakaba Keiko must have poisoned you. She cracked you like an egg, and now you're struggling to keep yourself together. I won't let anyone continue to hurt you that way.""What are you planning to do?" Arata stared at her eyes as she loomed her face against his."What I've always wanted. What Mama had warned me against the entire time. What Tohsaki should fear. What Wakaba had been begging for since that day..." She smiled and soon stroked at his face with her knuckles. "Why don't you just sit tight for now? Tomorrow, Saturday, next week... you don't have to worry about anything."The man grabbed her wrist that was closest to his face. "You're not going to hurt Keiko. I need her to stay with me.""Why? Is she really that important to you? Is it because you still wanted to marry her after all this time?" Attori glared at him. "What makes her more special than your own health?""It's..." His grip on her wrist tightened, but not to shatter it. It was a way to keep himself from trembling more than he should. The man who easily gets frightened decided to confront the woman capable of bringing chaos, the same woman he chose. "It's not her... that I am protecting..." He closed his eyes, trying to control his words correctly, before opening them again and staring at those deadpan blue eyes before him. "It's my pride...""Pride?""I'm a god, Attori. This life... is the only thing I have left, and is the only thing I could be proud of. If I fail to get everyone, my reputation will be lost. If I fail to keep everyone, my reputation will also be lost." His hold on her weakened. "This world... and you... are the only ones that make me feel alive. If I fail, I wouldn't feel so good. I'd start caring less and less... to the point that I'll ask to be... deleted..."It sounds like a terrible lie, but this is what this means to me, Attori. I will desperately hold onto and change Keiko if I had to, while keeping up with pressure coming from every woman I have conquer." Arata just kept on spouting, ignoring the confused look on the girl's face. "I love you... so much... but I cannot just stay here cooped up in my room. I had to keep on playing the game... for you...""I don't understand how this is a game for you..." Attori pulled back and sat on his groin. "Are you saying you are compelled to romance and screw everyone?""By my stature, yes." Arata managed to lift his torso to see more of her. His chest was moving up and down in fear, his heart raging inside its cage in terror."But if you have the choice of picking only one, it would be me?" Her voice had become softer and more sentient compared to the one earlier, that was both murderous and cold."Yes.""But you're not allowed to do that... because you're a god?""Yes..." He then sighed discreetly. "Actually, no. I have that choice, but it's too late to take it now. I've already taken the path to getting everyone that I see fit. You're the best one I have, and the one I would love to keep... but you're not my only option, you're my choice.""...Is this... the source of your nightmares?" She asked again, this time, with a worried voice.Seeing that the mood had gone better, Arata smiled and nodded. "It kinda got complicated a while back. I'm sorry if I worried you about them. Living in the border of two worlds is a little hard to manage, especially when I need both.""Who else knew about this?""...A fairy in Lumen Park. Like me, she existed in both worlds, but her existence doesn't impact the worlds too much. She's not a god like me..." Arata was starting to chuckle, still scared for a turnaround of the situation. However, he was grateful for the path of their conversation. "All my escapades with the others... are all out of nature and need as a god...""...And you're letting me in your secret, why?" The girl stared at him again."Because I thought... I shouldn't lie to you, to the girl I love the most. I needed your permission to continue, and I needed to convince you that everything... is going to work out. You don't need to harm anyone..." His breath kept on hitching, uncertain of his answers."And you're planning to hide this from me until when?""I have no idea I could say this to you. I was scared that I would get punished if I do." He shook his head carefully. "I don't want to lose you."Attori averted her gaze from him. She stared at the things around the room that felt strange to her, like the trophies, books, and frames that were not supposed to be displayed in one's bedroom. She then brought her eyes on his computer and to the journal lying on his nightstand. She brought her gaze back to Arata's face."Do you expect me to believe all of this?""...I wish you would.""So a god came to the school, and made different girls fall in love with him. So much that they might end up hurting each other. But in under no circumstances that one should be killed. Everyone gets a happy story with the god, while he frolic in their beds." Her voice trailed at every end of her sentences. "Sounds about right to describe you...""Do you believe me, Attori?" Arata whispered to confirm her thoughts. He watched her look down at him."No."Another pang came to his heart. The ruthless blue eyes that looked down upon him shredded him more than he could count into pieces that he would never imagine to see. Arata stared at the female who was looking so blank on top of him. His mouth began to twitch as he started to beg. "A-Attori, I'm telling you the truth..."'Ah, he never learns,' Attori thought.The woman smiled again at him with her devious smirk. "I know you're not just an ordinary man, Arata. I just didn't think that you are a god." She flicked his nose with force. "You've always been so submissive to me. I didn't think I would have a god under me whenever I join him in bed. Isn't it fantastic?""You lost me already..." He consoled his nose."Hey, what you said was more confusing, and I followed just fine." She puffed before flicking his nose again, making it redder than the rest of his face. She then leaned down and kissed his nose. Pulling up a little, she smiled with her eyes gleaming meaningfully. "I'm saying... I don't need to 'believe' you. I already know."
