Lee Hee-na. Twenty years old.
My life had been exceptionally easy. No, it had been a breeze.
I didn’t come from a particularly wealthy family, but our home was harmonious, and I never had any major arguments with my parents or my brother.
There was no reason to argue.
I had kind parents and a brother who was always looking out for me, even if he was a bit of a prankster. What’s there to argue about?
Occasionally, I heard my friends talk about how they didn’t get along with their siblings, and it became clear that our household had an unusually pleasant atmosphere.
And besides my harmonious family, the thing that has made my life so easy was…
My appearance.
I didn’t need to rely on any other tricks or charms. I was just pretty — the big eyes, delicate facial features, and hair that fell like silk — all of these elements came together to form my appearance, and I grew up hearing nothing but admiration from those around me.
Everyone liked me, and it was the most natural thing in the world. Of course, this also brought about some inconveniences, and there were certainly people with ulterior motives, but despite these occasional complications, I couldn’t deny the numerous advantages that my looks had brought me.
That’s how I’ve lived for 20 years.
Through elementary school, middle school, and high school.
Watching the many people who had approached me and growing up through various interactions, I matured a bit faster in my thinking than my peers. I didn’t want to be an immature person, so I dedicated myself to studying as much as possible until high school.
My grades were good enough to get into top universities with compromised courses, but I didn’t think it was necessary.
I believed that a college title was important, but not everything, and I wanted to take some of the pressure off my parents. So, I chose to attend a university with a scholarship, one step below the top-tier schools.
Although I had grown up quickly in some respects, I was still looking forward to my first campus life experience; different types of people from all over the country, some interesting, some like-minded friends, some pretentious, some flirtatious, and so on.
I saw a lot of different people. Maybe it’s because I’ve been judging people based on their appearance since I was a kid, but it was actually kind of fun to see all these different types of people.
And in the midst of all those people, there he was.
Han Yeon-hu.
Because we were in the same major, we naturally had some interaction from the start. My first impression of him was…well, he seemed kind. With his round, big glasses, he always had a smiling face, no matter what was so enjoyable.
It wasn’t a very good description by the standards of how women evaluate men, but I wasn’t really interested in a relationship until then, and I think it’s not a bad description for someone who I just interact with on a regular basis.
And he was kind, just as he seemed at first.
Of course, I didn’t mean to say that he was stupidly nice. But anyone who had even a little interaction with him would have thought so, given that, as human beings, we all had some level of selfishness.
He was also quite fun to talk to, and when we had group assignments or any commitments, he was never late. He didn’t blatantly stare or pester me, making him personally easy to deal with.
I’m sure he had a crush on me, and I know that sounds like an asshole, but I’d say 90% of the guys I’ve ever met in my life have had a crush on me, just in different ways.
There were those who were overly persistent, those who took subtle steps closer, those who bombarded me with gifts, and those who made public confessions, making things awkward for me.
Among them, Han Yeon-hu was different.
Perhaps he had already given up on me in his heart, but sometimes he sent subtle glances my way. However, it was clear that he had drawn the line.
He never hesitated to contact me if he needed anything, and he always cleaned up after himself when he was done with his work or small talk.
For someone like me who tried to minimize communication with guys as much as possible to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings or awkward situations, he was a really comfortable friend, even more so than my male friends.
Because of that, I was a little more comfortable with him than others, and I let my guard down.
“Honestly, I like you too. Do you want to go out?”
We were preparing for a group project presentation. We used the data collected by others to finalize our project, and we had a casual drink afterward. I had no idea he was going to confess.
Given how familiar we were compared to other guys, and with the influence of alcohol, it seemed like he had confessed without even realizing it.
His face showed signs of a mistake right after he spoke as if he had thought, ‘Did I really just say that?‘
I wondered if this was how it would end up, so I tried to refuse. If I rejected him and asked him to stay like this, he would probably accept. It might be awkward for a while, but we could gradually return to a similar relationship.
I hadn’t known him for a long time, but I had my own way of reading people. Based on his actions and attitude towards me for over half a year, I was reasonably confident.
However, just as I was about to reject him, perhaps due to a slight alcohol-induced dizziness, I hesitated.
I’ve been on the receiving end of more confessions than I can count, and some of them were much better-looking and smarter than the friend in front of me.
However, no matter how good-looking or smart they were, there were some annoying things about them, some pretentious things that stood out to me, and I didn’t accept them.
Still, even though I wasn’t particularly interested in romance, it didn’t mean I didn’t want to give it a try. I simply hadn’t met anyone I felt compelled to date.
So, why not?
First of all, Han Yeon-hu was a good person.
He was easy to get along with, and there was nothing pretentious or bad about him, at least not in my eyes.
Even if this feeling wasn’t love, wasn’t it still good enough for a first relationship as an experience?
Because, for a moment, I thought to myself.
That thought briefly crossed my mind.
“Uh… Sorry. I must have gone crazy from the alcohol… Huh?”
“You said let’s go out?”
“????”
Thud!
I burst into laughter at his dumbfounded expression, dropping the glass from my hand.
* * *
The relationship that started that way wasn’t bad, as I thought. It wasn’t a fiery, passionate romance that you might see in novels or dramas, but it was more like a sweet, innocent love story you’d see in a shoujo manga.
“Should we hold hands?”
“We’re dating, so it’s okay to hold hands even this much, right?”
“It’s not a problem for me, though.”
Holding hands while walking down the street.
“Yeon-hu, you carry a handkerchief?”
“I bought one since we started dating. I thought I could use it when we sit on benches like this.”
“Oh~ Yeon-hu~!”
Enjoying the consideration of my boyfriend, who was a little more gentle with me than he was before we started dating.
“Yeon-hu, how did you get into our university?”
“No, I did some late cramming in my senior year and somehow managed to get my grades up to a 2.5.”
“And then?”
“And I crushed the entrance exam… I answered everything I knew, and I got everything right.”
“You’re lucky~”
“If you say I’m just lucky, won’t that hurt my feelings? I’ve been studying hard, so maybe luck followed me.”
“Anyway, let’s get back to finishing the assignment. If you’re late, we won’t have time for our date.”
“Sorry…”
I helped him with his studies when he struggled.
“You’re better than I thought, aren’t you?”
“Hey, can you close your eyes for a second?”
“Sorry, I just find your desperate face funny.”
“Wow, I’m really happy! I’m a man who can even make my girlfriend laugh with just his face!”
“Keep up the good work.”
Our first kiss… wasn’t as romantic as I imagined, but mostly because of me.
This relationship was a little silly but to be honest, I really enjoyed it.
Yeon-hu was someone who knew how to be considerate of others, and I also felt very comfortable with his natural consideration.
It may not have been the kind of love that makes your heart beat like crazy just looking at it, but I think it was enough to say that I was dating proudly anywhere.
Aside from that, having an official boyfriend was also a relief because most of the direct and indirect flirting disappeared, and it was secretly reassuring to know that someone would be there for me no matter what.
However, the happiness ended in an instant.
It was a day that was no different from usual. I ate breakfast that my mom made, had a light argument with my brother who woke up early for some reason, and sent a message to my boyfriend who said he slept late playing games last night, saying, “I’ll kill you if you’re late today.”
I thought about what I would do during the vacation, whether I should try part-time work or go on a date with Yeon-hu. Lost in these thoughts, I walked toward the university with casual steps.
And then…
—Screeeeeeeechhhhhhh!!!!!-
—Bang!!
I couldn’t comprehend it at the moment. What had just happened? I felt nothing as I momentarily floated in the air.
—Thud
“……..!!!!”
When my body hit the ground, I felt an excruciating pain, too intense to even scream, and then I lost consciousness.
* * *
When I woke up, I found myself in a white hospital room. My parents were there, tears streaming down their faces, and my brother, whose face I saw for the first time in my life, looked contorted with worry. I could only see half of his face.
I realized that my field of vision was narrower than usual.
In the midst of the confusion, I had the thought that I needed to get up. But I couldn’t move, not even a sensation. It was as if I had disappeared.
I felt my legs, or rather the lack of sensation in my legs, paradoxically.
At the same time, tears welled up in my eyes, and I couldn’t help but cry.
I wanted to see Yeon-hu.
Lee Hee-na. Twenty years old.
My life had been exceptionally easy. No, it had been a breeze.
I didn’t come from a particularly wealthy family, but our home was harmonious, and I never had any major arguments with my parents or my brother.
There was no reason to argue.
I had kind parents and a brother who was always looking out for me, even if he was a bit of a prankster. What’s there to argue about?
Occasionally, I heard my friends talk about how they didn’t get along with their siblings, and it became clear that our household had an unusually pleasant atmosphere.
And besides my harmonious family, the thing that has made my life so easy was…
My appearance.
I didn’t need to rely on any other tricks or charms. I was just pretty — the big eyes, delicate facial features, and hair that fell like silk — all of these elements came together to form my appearance, and I grew up hearing nothing but admiration from those around me.
Everyone liked me, and it was the most natural thing in the world. Of course, this also brought about some inconveniences, and there were certainly people with ulterior motives, but despite these occasional complications, I couldn’t deny the numerous advantages that my looks had brought me.
That’s how I’ve lived for 20 years.
Through elementary school, middle school, and high school.
Watching the many people who had approached me and growing up through various interactions, I matured a bit faster in my thinking than my peers. I didn’t want to be an immature person, so I dedicated myself to studying as much as possible until high school.
My grades were good enough to get into top universities with compromised courses, but I didn’t think it was necessary.
I believed that a college title was important, but not everything, and I wanted to take some of the pressure off my parents. So, I chose to attend a university with a scholarship, one step below the top-tier schools.
Although I had grown up quickly in some respects, I was still looking forward to my first campus life experience; different types of people from all over the country, some interesting, some like-minded friends, some pretentious, some flirtatious, and so on.
I saw a lot of different people. Maybe it’s because I’ve been judging people based on their appearance since I was a kid, but it was actually kind of fun to see all these different types of people.
And in the midst of all those people, there he was.
Han Yeon-hu.
Because we were in the same major, we naturally had some interaction from the start. My first impression of him was…well, he seemed kind. With his round, big glasses, he always had a smiling face, no matter what was so enjoyable.
It wasn’t a very good description by the standards of how women evaluate men, but I wasn’t really interested in a relationship until then, and I think it’s not a bad description for someone who I just interact with on a regular basis.
And he was kind, just as he seemed at first.
Of course, I didn’t mean to say that he was stupidly nice. But anyone who had even a little interaction with him would have thought so, given that, as human beings, we all had some level of selfishness.
He was also quite fun to talk to, and when we had group assignments or any commitments, he was never late. He didn’t blatantly stare or pester me, making him personally easy to deal with.
I’m sure he had a crush on me, and I know that sounds like an asshole, but I’d say 90% of the guys I’ve ever met in my life have had a crush on me, just in different ways.
There were those who were overly persistent, those who took subtle steps closer, those who bombarded me with gifts, and those who made public confessions, making things awkward for me.
Among them, Han Yeon-hu was different.
Perhaps he had already given up on me in his heart, but sometimes he sent subtle glances my way. However, it was clear that he had drawn the line.
He never hesitated to contact me if he needed anything, and he always cleaned up after himself when he was done with his work or small talk.
For someone like me who tried to minimize communication with guys as much as possible to avoid unnecessary misunderstandings or awkward situations, he was a really comfortable friend, even more so than my male friends.
Because of that, I was a little more comfortable with him than others, and I let my guard down.
“Honestly, I like you too. Do you want to go out?”
We were preparing for a group project presentation. We used the data collected by others to finalize our project, and we had a casual drink afterward. I had no idea he was going to confess.
Given how familiar we were compared to other guys, and with the influence of alcohol, it seemed like he had confessed without even realizing it.
His face showed signs of a mistake right after he spoke as if he had thought, ‘Did I really just say that?‘
I wondered if this was how it would end up, so I tried to refuse. If I rejected him and asked him to stay like this, he would probably accept. It might be awkward for a while, but we could gradually return to a similar relationship.
I hadn’t known him for a long time, but I had my own way of reading people. Based on his actions and attitude towards me for over half a year, I was reasonably confident.
However, just as I was about to reject him, perhaps due to a slight alcohol-induced dizziness, I hesitated.
I’ve been on the receiving end of more confessions than I can count, and some of them were much better-looking and smarter than the friend in front of me.
However, no matter how good-looking or smart they were, there were some annoying things about them, some pretentious things that stood out to me, and I didn’t accept them.
Still, even though I wasn’t particularly interested in romance, it didn’t mean I didn’t want to give it a try. I simply hadn’t met anyone I felt compelled to date.
So, why not?
First of all, Han Yeon-hu was a good person.
He was easy to get along with, and there was nothing pretentious or bad about him, at least not in my eyes.
Even if this feeling wasn’t love, wasn’t it still good enough for a first relationship as an experience?
Because, for a moment, I thought to myself.
That thought briefly crossed my mind.
“Uh… Sorry. I must have gone crazy from the alcohol… Huh?”
“You said let’s go out?”
“????”
Thud!
I burst into laughter at his dumbfounded expression, dropping the glass from my hand.
* * *
The relationship that started that way wasn’t bad, as I thought. It wasn’t a fiery, passionate romance that you might see in novels or dramas, but it was more like a sweet, innocent love story you’d see in a shoujo manga.
“Should we hold hands?”
“We’re dating, so it’s okay to hold hands even this much, right?”
“It’s not a problem for me, though.”
Holding hands while walking down the street.
“Yeon-hu, you carry a handkerchief?”
“I bought one since we started dating. I thought I could use it when we sit on benches like this.”
“Oh~ Yeon-hu~!”
Enjoying the consideration of my boyfriend, who was a little more gentle with me than he was before we started dating.
“Yeon-hu, how did you get into our university?”
“No, I did some late cramming in my senior year and somehow managed to get my grades up to a 2.5.”
“And then?”
“And I crushed the entrance exam… I answered everything I knew, and I got everything right.”
“You’re lucky~”
“If you say I’m just lucky, won’t that hurt my feelings? I’ve been studying hard, so maybe luck followed me.”
“Anyway, let’s get back to finishing the assignment. If you’re late, we won’t have time for our date.”
“Sorry…”
I helped him with his studies when he struggled.
“You’re better than I thought, aren’t you?”
“Hey, can you close your eyes for a second?”
“Sorry, I just find your desperate face funny.”
“Wow, I’m really happy! I’m a man who can even make my girlfriend laugh with just his face!”
“Keep up the good work.”
Our first kiss… wasn’t as romantic as I imagined, but mostly because of me.
This relationship was a little silly but to be honest, I really enjoyed it.
Yeon-hu was someone who knew how to be considerate of others, and I also felt very comfortable with his natural consideration.
It may not have been the kind of love that makes your heart beat like crazy just looking at it, but I think it was enough to say that I was dating proudly anywhere.
Aside from that, having an official boyfriend was also a relief because most of the direct and indirect flirting disappeared, and it was secretly reassuring to know that someone would be there for me no matter what.
However, the happiness ended in an instant.
It was a day that was no different from usual. I ate breakfast that my mom made, had a light argument with my brother who woke up early for some reason, and sent a message to my boyfriend who said he slept late playing games last night, saying, “I’ll kill you if you’re late today.”
I thought about what I would do during the vacation, whether I should try part-time work or go on a date with Yeon-hu. Lost in these thoughts, I walked toward the university with casual steps.
And then…
—Screeeeeeeechhhhhhh!!!!!-
—Bang!!
I couldn’t comprehend it at the moment. What had just happened? I felt nothing as I momentarily floated in the air.
—Thud
“……..!!!!”
When my body hit the ground, I felt an excruciating pain, too intense to even scream, and then I lost consciousness.
* * *
When I woke up, I found myself in a white hospital room. My parents were there, tears streaming down their faces, and my brother, whose face I saw for the first time in my life, looked contorted with worry. I could only see half of his face.
I realized that my field of vision was narrower than usual.
In the midst of the confusion, I had the thought that I needed to get up. But I couldn’t move, not even a sensation. It was as if I had disappeared.
I felt my legs, or rather the lack of sensation in my legs, paradoxically.
At the same time, tears welled up in my eyes, and I couldn’t help but cry.
I wanted to see Yeon-hu.
