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Published at 31st of January 2022 07:34:05 AM


Chapter 67: I’m Not Dead.

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I opened my eye, Raised my hand, I was able to lift it, "My leg," I lifted both of my legs. I was successfully able to lift my legs. But… I was not able to lift my right hand. 

I saw my left hand in front of me, trying to touch the ceiling, the dark ceiling. I felt a weight on my right hand. I moved my eye down to my right side. 

There I saw something red. Some red strings all over my chest. I lifted my body up without disturbing my right hand. 

"Doc…?" She was sleeping next to me on my bed. How the fuck did she got inside my room? I wondered. 

She was sleeping on my arm. Since when is she here? 'Date,' I wondered about today's date. I had nothing with me which would tell me what was today's date. 

While looking around myself my eyes fell on Doc. her cheeks, her lips, her hair which was all over her face. How nice, how calmly she was sleeping next to me. 

My left hand, on its own, moved towards Doc's face. I brushed her hair away from her face. Her closed eyes were visible. It felt soft on her cheek. 

I do not know why but I felt like patting her for a while. I moved my hand on the top of her head and started petting her. Moved my hand up, then down on her head. 

I looked away, looked outside the window, it was still dark out. For how much time have I been sleeping?

I suddenly remembered about my previous fight where I half-murdered Cherly, how everyone was disgusted at me. How my own teammates were showing dislike towards me. 

My hand slowed down moving. I sighed, "Does Doc feels the same as everyone does towards me? She must..." I muttered, "Literally everyone might be hating me…. And what the hell was I thinking? Why do always go so overboard while fighting someone? Do I let my personal feelings- more ever what was with that strange dream?" my hand stopped moving. 

"Why did you stop?"

While I was thinking about that topic I did not even realize that Doc had opened her eyes. She was awake but I still kept moving my hand over her head as if she's my pet. 

She smiled under her hair, under my arm. A smile I was not able to see that time. I kept looking around the room, thinking about random yet important stuff when Doc was enjoying my head pats. 

"Eek!" Doc suddenly spoke. I was shocked I thought she was sleeping and I kept muttering nonsense, "W- what?"

"My head pats. Why did you stop?" she raised her head a little, looked at me with a bright yet sad smile, some blush around her cheek, and her hair falling on her eye. 

"Huh? No, I was not really-"

"Now who is getting clingy with me?" she grinned. I was embarrassed. I wanted to answer her that I thought she was sleeping but then she might say I pressed her boobs and stuff while she was sleeping and I do not want that….  In other words, I did not have a good comeback.

"I- I am sorry,"

"Uhm-Um, I never told you to apologize," She rested her head down on my arm again. Damn…. My arm felt sore, "Continue head patting me,"

I was happy… but my smile soon disappeared. I remembered how my own friends treated me when I was fighting Cheryl. They said I went overboard. 

That's the reason I do not want relationships with anyone, I do not want friends if this is what it's going to happen.

But still…. I dream about Doc confessing to me and Gwen proposing to me, kissing me. I can not be that perverted. I am not that perverted to dream about something like that in a situation like this. 

"Doc, get up"

"Ahh? Why?" she groaned.

"Do not you feel anything? I bet you hate me too, then why are you making me do this?"

"I do not hate you. I talked about it a lot when you were sleeping for eighteen hours straight,"

18 hours… that's a lot. 

"But think for once! Think what your future husband will feel about this if he knows you slept with your student, you hugged your student from time to time, and then you made your student pat your own head…. Think about it! How he will feel,"

Doc raised her head. She was not smiling, a sad expression was pulled over her face, "My future husband huh…."

"Yes!"

"I do not think I will get married,"

"Huh? Why?"

"Because the one I want to marry does not want to marry me," 

"Who? Who would not want to marry you? You are beautiful, you are good-looking, you have a pretty decent job too. Then why? Why would not-" My dream struck me. How Doc died in front of me and what she said before dying. 

I lifted my eyes with hesitation at her. She had an innocent, blushing look in her eyes. I was still hesitating… Doc had not answered me yet. 

I lifted my index finger…. I realized whom she was talking about. My finger touched my chest. I was still looking into her eyes. She did not look away, I did not look away. 

My lips parted, my head nodded twice, "M- me? I- I?" I asked her with my finger pointing at me with hesitation.

"Uhm," she nodded and looked away, "Pfft! You really think so? You are my student, idiot!" she got up from her chair, she was faking it.

She first said yes, I know it by her hum; another second she says she does not. She's definitely faking it. 

"Why? Even after what I did? Even after what people are calling me?"

"What are you talking about," she was not facing her, her voice broke a little. Was she hiding her tears? I was still surprised. 

"Do not hide it. I hate it when you hide your feelings,"

"But," her hands went to her face. She was crying, for sure, "You would not get married anyway will you? Then what's good of telling you about this?" she rubbed her tears away.

I did not say anything. I wanted to get up right now and hug her from behind. A bear hug. I did not. It does not feel right when everything in our life suddenly turns right. 

I just sat on my bed with my head down. I did not know what to reply to her with. If she loves me… which means Gwen does too…. 

I have been noticing it recently, things in my dreams are turning into reality, or either they have happened before. Which one is it?

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