“You’re going on a business trip?”
Jaekyung inquired while standing at the front door.
“I don’t know yet.”
Despite this, Jiheon went on to clarify what he was already asking.
“Exactly how long will it take?”
“I’ve heard it might take several months. If I go, I’ll probably be back after the Olympics.”
Having explained this, Jiheon asked Jaekyung again.
“So what are you gonna do?”
“What else? I’m just going to quit the Olympics.”
Jaekyung said it as if it were obvious. When Jiheon just stared at him, he added with a noticeably annoyed expression.
“Why? Do you think I’ll keep my promise to the end after you break yours, hyung? Do you see me as that much of an idiot?”
Jaekyung clicked his tongue as he spoke.
Faced with an attitude that left no room for compromise, Jiheon let out a sigh.
“It’s not like I don’t want to keep my promise either.”
Jiheon leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He clasped his hands together and continued:
“I’m not going on this business trip just because I want to. It’s a must for me. There’s no one else who can do it but me.”
“What do you mean there’s no one else but you?”
Annoyance began to seep into Jaekyung’s voice.
“Are you the only employee in your company? Every time something comes up, do they always make you do everything?”
“There are other people besides me, but I’m the only one who can go on this business trip.”
“So they will fire you if you don’t go?”
“Maybe so.”
“Then just quit your job, hyung. That will be better.”
Jaekyung said seriously, without a hint of sarcasm.
“…….”
Jiheon leaned forward, placing his hands on his forehead. Jaekyung looked at him silently and clicked his tongue once more. He then walked up to Jiheon, tossed his bag on the sofa, and sat down.
“Okay, fine. Unless you intentionally break your promise and run away, I won’t quit.”
Jaekyung grumbled.
“How could I quit when I’ve come this far anyway? I will do it somehow because I have face too. I’m going to win gold in the 400m medley and see the cultist and cult leader’s faces as they’re dying in defeat. I’ll also win the Olympics for the second time in a row. Once I start, I have to win no matter what.”
Yes, Jaekyung had always been like that. Regardless of what anyone said, he was always serious toward swimming.
At first, he’d forced himself to participate in the Olympics, but when he found a new challenge in the 400m medley, his training took on a new level of enthusiasm. While he loved winning, he despised losing even more, so he would go to the Olympics no matter what. And he would undoubtedly return as a champion.
“I’ll probably want to die during the preparations.”
Jaekyung said casually. Jiheon furrowed his brows and glanced at him at that extreme remark, but Jaekyung didn’t pause. Instead, he looked directly at Jiheon and conveyed his thoughts with absolute clarity, as if telling him to take note.
“I will think about quitting several times a day. I’ll wonder why I’m doing this when you’re not next to me. Later, I’ll regret starting swimming in the first place, and I will cry while looking at the pool during every break.”
“What do you mean you’ll cry?”
Jiheon chuckled, baffled by Jaekyung’s words. But Jaekyung didn’t even smile.
“I’m being serious. I used to cry when I saw the pool while swimming.”
“Really……? Why?”
Jiheon asked in surprise, a tad late. Jaekyung looked at him pensively, then said:
“Because I’m lonely.”
Jiheon’s heart sank upon hearing this unexpected reason.
‘Not because the training was difficult or tiring, but because he was lonely? Jaekyung felt that in the pool? He felt that way too?’
While Jiheon couldn’t say anything, Jaekyung completely leaned against the back of the sofa.
“When I’m alone in the swimming pool and realize that I’m the only one there, there are times when I feel so lonely that I want to die.”
Jaekyung conveyed this with a calm tone, then turned to face Jiheon.
“Hyung, didn’t you know that? Have you ever felt that way?”
Jiheon responded after a long pause.
“Yeah, I know. I understand.”
Jiheon reiterated.
He understood better than anyone else—the feeling as though he were the only one left in the entire world while in that vast pool. He didn’t like the silence, so he tried to swim more vigorously against the current, but the empty sounds echoing from all directions only made him feel even more alone. He hated it and wanted to get out of there somehow, but he couldn’t muster the courage because he knew that if he did, he would be even more lonely.
He had believed it was a form of despair he had to endure because he was like this. Of course, he presumed other swimmers must have felt the same way, but he had believed at least Jaekyung wouldn’t be like that. He thought that guy would never experience that kind of loneliness in his life.
Jaekyung was a swimmer who always aimed for greater heights. He’d always been in cheers and applauses, and it would be that way until the moment he left. Jiheon couldn’t imagine him experiencing the sinking feeling, waiting for the day he would inevitably fall and be alone. At least not when he was in the pool.
“Since when has it been like that?”
“It’s been quite a while.”
Jaekyung replied, leaning even deeper on the back of the sofa.
“It was like that even before I went to Australia.”
Those words suddenly reminded him of something Jaekyung had told him before. Jaekyung had mentioned that shortly after going to Australia, he had contemplated quitting swimming but persevered because he wanted to achieve the Grand Slam.
“Is that why you wanted to quit swimming back then?”
Jaekyung merely shrugged without uttering a word, confirming Jiheon’s suspicion.
Worried, Jiheon sat up straight and asked:
“You’re not feeling depressed or anything, are you?”
“I’m not.”
Jaekyung replied, clicking his tongue as if the notion was absurd.
“It’s not that bad. Now I’ve managed to overcome it to some extent.”
Jaekyung crossed his legs and continued:
“But there’s a huge difference between when you’re here and when you’re not, hyung.”
“Is that so?”
Jaekyung nodded.
“During the Pan-Pacific preparation, I was really happy when you joined in to swim.”
Jaekyung muttered with a smile on his lips, as if he was reminiscing about that time.
“Back then, I was really happy.”
He looked into space for a moment and seemed to be thinking about something, and then he let out a short sigh.
“If you’re not trying to run away from me and you genuinely have no choice but to go on the business trip, well, there’s nothing I can do. But honestly, I really hate it.”
He said, his expression clearly showing his dislike.
“Now just thinking about it already makes me annoyed, and by then, I’ll probably get even angrier and angrier and want to quit.”
“…….”
At Jiheon’s silent gaze, Jaekyung quickly added.
“Of course, I won’t really quit.”
When Jiheon laughed at those words, Jaekyung spoke grumpily again.
“But I’m still going to keep thinking about you, getting angrier, and resenting you for going on a business trip.”
“Yeah.”
“But in the end, I’ll still go to the Olympics.”
“I know.”
“I’m going to go crazy because I miss you so much.”
“I know that. Enough.”
Jiheon said with a chuckle, and Jaekyung gazed at him, not smiling, and stated firmly.
“But I’ll still win the gold medals.”
“…….”
“I’ll do it because you want it, hyung. I’ll win no matter what.”
Jiheon didn’t respond at all. He couldn’t. He just gazed at Jaekyung without a word.
Jaekyung held Jiheon’s gaze and called him softly:
“Hyung.”
“What is it?”
“Aren’t you cold?”
“I am.”
“Can’t you just come here, then?”
Jaekyung suggested, pointing to the space beside him.
“Well, no.”
Jiheon replied immediately. Jaekyung frowned, seemingly puzzled.
“Why not?”
“You’re gonna catch my cold.”
“Oh, who cares.”
Jaekyung sighed as if he couldn’t believe it.
“I don’t catch colds that easily. As long as we don’t kiss, that is.”
“But you still can’t. Don’t come and just stay there.”
Jiheon insisted.
Under normal circumstances, Jaekyung might have responded with, “Oh, screw it, I’ll do what I want,” and jumped up and rushed at him. But Jiheon said it so seriously that Jaekyung couldn’t come closer and just felt frustrated.
“Oh, I hate this. It’s weird being apart like this. It’s not torture or anything, but what the heck?”
“What kind of torture is this?”
“It’s torture for me.”
Jaekyung said with a serious expression.
“Even though you’re right next to me, you don’t let me hold you or even touch you. If this isn’t torture, then what is it? If I knew this was gonna happen, it’s better to stay out of sight.”
“Then you can go somewhere you can’t see me.”
When Jiheon told him to go home as quickly as possible, Jaekyung looked at him as if it was just nonsense.
Every time Jiheon said something like this, Jaekyung would react with an annoyed expression, click his tongue, and turn his head away.
Jiheon found it cute to see him openly pouting, so he ended up chuckling quietly. He leaned back on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling.
Then he softly called Jaekyung’s name again.
“Jaekyung-ah.”
Jaekyung didn’t respond.
“Kwon Jaekyung.”
When Jiheon called his name once more, Jaekyung turned back with an expression that seemed to ask, “What is it?”
Jiheon gazed at him for a moment and then smiled quietly as he spoke:
“Should we just date?”
“You’re going on a business trip?”
Jaekyung inquired while standing at the front door.
“I don’t know yet.”
Despite this, Jiheon went on to clarify what he was already asking.
“Exactly how long will it take?”
“I’ve heard it might take several months. If I go, I’ll probably be back after the Olympics.”
Having explained this, Jiheon asked Jaekyung again.
“So what are you gonna do?”
“What else? I’m just going to quit the Olympics.”
Jaekyung said it as if it were obvious. When Jiheon just stared at him, he added with a noticeably annoyed expression.
“Why? Do you think I’ll keep my promise to the end after you break yours, hyung? Do you see me as that much of an idiot?”
Jaekyung clicked his tongue as he spoke.
Faced with an attitude that left no room for compromise, Jiheon let out a sigh.
“It’s not like I don’t want to keep my promise either.”
Jiheon leaned forward, placing his elbows on his knees. He clasped his hands together and continued:
“I’m not going on this business trip just because I want to. It’s a must for me. There’s no one else who can do it but me.”
“What do you mean there’s no one else but you?”
Annoyance began to seep into Jaekyung’s voice.
“Are you the only employee in your company? Every time something comes up, do they always make you do everything?”
“There are other people besides me, but I’m the only one who can go on this business trip.”
“So they will fire you if you don’t go?”
“Maybe so.”
“Then just quit your job, hyung. That will be better.”
Jaekyung said seriously, without a hint of sarcasm.
“…….”
Jiheon leaned forward, placing his hands on his forehead. Jaekyung looked at him silently and clicked his tongue once more. He then walked up to Jiheon, tossed his bag on the sofa, and sat down.
“Okay, fine. Unless you intentionally break your promise and run away, I won’t quit.”
Jaekyung grumbled.
“How could I quit when I’ve come this far anyway? I will do it somehow because I have face too. I’m going to win gold in the 400m medley and see the cultist and cult leader’s faces as they’re dying in defeat. I’ll also win the Olympics for the second time in a row. Once I start, I have to win no matter what.”
Yes, Jaekyung had always been like that. Regardless of what anyone said, he was always serious toward swimming.
At first, he’d forced himself to participate in the Olympics, but when he found a new challenge in the 400m medley, his training took on a new level of enthusiasm. While he loved winning, he despised losing even more, so he would go to the Olympics no matter what. And he would undoubtedly return as a champion.
“I’ll probably want to die during the preparations.”
Jaekyung said casually. Jiheon furrowed his brows and glanced at him at that extreme remark, but Jaekyung didn’t pause. Instead, he looked directly at Jiheon and conveyed his thoughts with absolute clarity, as if telling him to take note.
“I will think about quitting several times a day. I’ll wonder why I’m doing this when you’re not next to me. Later, I’ll regret starting swimming in the first place, and I will cry while looking at the pool during every break.”
“What do you mean you’ll cry?”
Jiheon chuckled, baffled by Jaekyung’s words. But Jaekyung didn’t even smile.
“I’m being serious. I used to cry when I saw the pool while swimming.”
“Really……? Why?”
Jiheon asked in surprise, a tad late. Jaekyung looked at him pensively, then said:
“Because I’m lonely.”
Jiheon’s heart sank upon hearing this unexpected reason.
‘Not because the training was difficult or tiring, but because he was lonely? Jaekyung felt that in the pool? He felt that way too?’
While Jiheon couldn’t say anything, Jaekyung completely leaned against the back of the sofa.
“When I’m alone in the swimming pool and realize that I’m the only one there, there are times when I feel so lonely that I want to die.”
Jaekyung conveyed this with a calm tone, then turned to face Jiheon.
“Hyung, didn’t you know that? Have you ever felt that way?”
Jiheon responded after a long pause.
“Yeah, I know. I understand.”
Jiheon reiterated.
He understood better than anyone else—the feeling as though he were the only one left in the entire world while in that vast pool. He didn’t like the silence, so he tried to swim more vigorously against the current, but the empty sounds echoing from all directions only made him feel even more alone. He hated it and wanted to get out of there somehow, but he couldn’t muster the courage because he knew that if he did, he would be even more lonely.
He had believed it was a form of despair he had to endure because he was like this. Of course, he presumed other swimmers must have felt the same way, but he had believed at least Jaekyung wouldn’t be like that. He thought that guy would never experience that kind of loneliness in his life.
Jaekyung was a swimmer who always aimed for greater heights. He’d always been in cheers and applauses, and it would be that way until the moment he left. Jiheon couldn’t imagine him experiencing the sinking feeling, waiting for the day he would inevitably fall and be alone. At least not when he was in the pool.
“Since when has it been like that?”
“It’s been quite a while.”
Jaekyung replied, leaning even deeper on the back of the sofa.
“It was like that even before I went to Australia.”
Those words suddenly reminded him of something Jaekyung had told him before. Jaekyung had mentioned that shortly after going to Australia, he had contemplated quitting swimming but persevered because he wanted to achieve the Grand Slam.
“Is that why you wanted to quit swimming back then?”
Jaekyung merely shrugged without uttering a word, confirming Jiheon’s suspicion.
Worried, Jiheon sat up straight and asked:
“You’re not feeling depressed or anything, are you?”
“I’m not.”
Jaekyung replied, clicking his tongue as if the notion was absurd.
“It’s not that bad. Now I’ve managed to overcome it to some extent.”
Jaekyung crossed his legs and continued:
“But there’s a huge difference between when you’re here and when you’re not, hyung.”
“Is that so?”
Jaekyung nodded.
“During the Pan-Pacific preparation, I was really happy when you joined in to swim.”
Jaekyung muttered with a smile on his lips, as if he was reminiscing about that time.
“Back then, I was really happy.”
He looked into space for a moment and seemed to be thinking about something, and then he let out a short sigh.
“If you’re not trying to run away from me and you genuinely have no choice but to go on the business trip, well, there’s nothing I can do. But honestly, I really hate it.”
He said, his expression clearly showing his dislike.
“Now just thinking about it already makes me annoyed, and by then, I’ll probably get even angrier and angrier and want to quit.”
“…….”
At Jiheon’s silent gaze, Jaekyung quickly added.
“Of course, I won’t really quit.”
When Jiheon laughed at those words, Jaekyung spoke grumpily again.
“But I’m still going to keep thinking about you, getting angrier, and resenting you for going on a business trip.”
“Yeah.”
“But in the end, I’ll still go to the Olympics.”
“I know.”
“I’m going to go crazy because I miss you so much.”
“I know that. Enough.”
Jiheon said with a chuckle, and Jaekyung gazed at him, not smiling, and stated firmly.
“But I’ll still win the gold medals.”
“…….”
“I’ll do it because you want it, hyung. I’ll win no matter what.”
Jiheon didn’t respond at all. He couldn’t. He just gazed at Jaekyung without a word.
Jaekyung held Jiheon’s gaze and called him softly:
“Hyung.”
“What is it?”
“Aren’t you cold?”
“I am.”
“Can’t you just come here, then?”
Jaekyung suggested, pointing to the space beside him.
“Well, no.”
Jiheon replied immediately. Jaekyung frowned, seemingly puzzled.
“Why not?”
“You’re gonna catch my cold.”
“Oh, who cares.”
Jaekyung sighed as if he couldn’t believe it.
“I don’t catch colds that easily. As long as we don’t kiss, that is.”
“But you still can’t. Don’t come and just stay there.”
Jiheon insisted.
Under normal circumstances, Jaekyung might have responded with, “Oh, screw it, I’ll do what I want,” and jumped up and rushed at him. But Jiheon said it so seriously that Jaekyung couldn’t come closer and just felt frustrated.
“Oh, I hate this. It’s weird being apart like this. It’s not torture or anything, but what the heck?”
“What kind of torture is this?”
“It’s torture for me.”
Jaekyung said with a serious expression.
“Even though you’re right next to me, you don’t let me hold you or even touch you. If this isn’t torture, then what is it? If I knew this was gonna happen, it’s better to stay out of sight.”
“Then you can go somewhere you can’t see me.”
When Jiheon told him to go home as quickly as possible, Jaekyung looked at him as if it was just nonsense.
Every time Jiheon said something like this, Jaekyung would react with an annoyed expression, click his tongue, and turn his head away.
Jiheon found it cute to see him openly pouting, so he ended up chuckling quietly. He leaned back on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling.
Then he softly called Jaekyung’s name again.
“Jaekyung-ah.”
Jaekyung didn’t respond.
“Kwon Jaekyung.”
When Jiheon called his name once more, Jaekyung turned back with an expression that seemed to ask, “What is it?”
Jiheon gazed at him for a moment and then smiled quietly as he spoke:
“Should we just date?”
