[Indelible Darkness]
I was given a meal and drink. Immediately after that, I fell asleep, and that’s how I welcome my 4th night since I came to this city.
“You didn’t return.”
Yoiyami-san sat down on a chair and said.
There is no lamp in this room. There is only a candle fire.
“…Yes.”
It was a long silence. The candle fire sways greatly once in a while.
The light barely illuminates each of our faces.
“Why do people live?”
I look at Yoiyami-san who muttered so.
“……”
“There is no definite answer to this difficult question. It’s an eternal proposition.”
Is that so?
It’s not difficult. At least I can answer immediately if asked by Yoiyami-san.
I don’t want to die, so I live.
“I’ll train you.”
That being said, I seriously looked at Yoiyami-san.
“…Is that ok?”
I couldn’t reply right away, but I said so. The words from yesterday still stuck in my heart.
“It would be troublesome if you die in front of the room after all.”
I didn’t think of dying. Perhaps Yoiyami-san also understand it, but it was he himself who yield to me who didn’t return even after receiving those words.
…No, let’s correct it. Didn’t return is a faulty expression.
Strictly speaking, I couldn’t go home.
Receiving Yoiyami-san’s point, I was strucked to the core and temporarily lost my spirit. That was all, but it seems Yoiyami-san was misunderstanding it. It seems he misunderstood and yield.
Or perhaps it’s not a misunderstanding, but he decided to accept me after understanding my feelings.
Anyway, I was the one who broke first, and honestly, I’m not glad with it.
However, regardless of that, I would like to receive training from Yoiyami-san.
Regardless of the process, the result was all right because in this way, I managed to get Yoiyami-san to train me.
“However, if I decide that you have no hope in these 5 days, I’ll have you go back. Alright?” said Yoiyami-san.
It seems that I have to make him admit that I have a hope in these 5 days.
“I understand.” I replied, and Yoiyami-san stood up. I look up at him.
“Then, follow me.”
I also stand up.
It seems we’re starting now. To be honest, I’m not in the mood for training right now.
I want to have a conversation with Yoiyami-san. I want to listen to various stories and think upon it.
But I kept silent and followed after Yoiyami-san.
Leaving the room, Yoiyami-san opened the door of the next room.
I looked inside from behind him, but it was pitch black and I couldn’t see anything.
There is no sign of people. It’s natural. No one lives in this apartment except for Yoiyami-san.
“Shion.” Yoiyami-san turned toward me and said.
“Yes.”
“Think slowly. About your weaknesses. About your enemies.” That said, Yoiyami-san grabbed my collar and threw me into the room.
I dropped on my butt at the entrance. On the other side of the door, Yoiyami-san looked down at me.
“What you need to train is your heart.”
*bang* the door was closed, and I was closed in the dark.
I didn’t really understand what Yoiyami-san wanted to do, so I stood up at once and…
There was no doorknob.
I reach out my hand, and go straight to the front. But I can’t even touch the door.
Looking back, there was a window in the room.
A faint light was leaking from there. However, the light was eventually swallowed by ‘black’, and I was enveloped in complete darkness.
What does it mean?
I reach out my hand again. I can’t touch the doorknob. I took a step forward, but for some reason I couldn’t proceed forward.
It felt like a was being pushed back.
What is this…
When I notice, I can’t even hear a sound from the other side of the door.
No, there is no sound in the room too.
“Ah.” I can hear my own voice.
What is this? What the hell is going on?
I was…locked up?
I take a deep breath once.
The fact that I couldn’t touch the doorknob was probably due to Yoiyami-san’s ability.
Yoiyami-san locked me in this room.
Is it okay to think so?
But for what?
Didn’t he say it? To think.
In other words, this can be considered as training. Something to make me stronger.
But is thinking, a training?
Can I become stronger by doing that? In such an empty pitch-black room.
While wondering about that, I took off my shoes and proceeded to the back of the room.
However, I stumbled upon something and fell.
I don’t know what I stumbled upon, but now that I’ve fallen, I can’t even tell which direction the door was.
Complete darkness. With nothing that can be seen.
No matter how long I waited, my eyes never got used to it.
I look around again.
I’m surrounded by darkness.
I felt suffocated.
I can hardly hear any sound. And my field of view is all black. My view is the same whether I open or close my eyes.
How long has it passed since then?
Few minutes? A few hours?
I don’t know, but it probably hasn’t been that long.
I didn’t think that darkness was this scary.
I was full of desire to get out of this room right now.
I tried to kick the wall, but my kick did not reach the wall, and the full-powered Soundshoot that I released was useless.
This space is sealed by Yoiyami-san’s ability, and it is impossible to escape from the inside.
And there is neither light nor food nor drink.
What should I do?
What should I do to get out of here? How long will I be trapped here?
Remembering Yoiyami-san’s words, I try to put it into words,
“Think slowly. About your weaknesses. About your enemies.”
He also said this,
“What you need to train is your heart.”
What did he mean?
Even Tameiki-san can give a better explanation y’know.
I wouldn’t know what to do if you only told me that much.
This situation is one where I can’t even see a little ahead. He really is a really bleak person.
However, I have hope.
5 days. If I can endure for 5 days, I’ll be released from this darkness. In other words, this darkness is not infinite.
I had enough. I lost my purpose. This kind of training is useless.
I want to go home.
I want to go home… In the first place, why do I have to think like this?
Why do I have to be strong?
Most people in this world can live without becoming stronger. They can live without improving their skills to kill people.
I should have been on that side, but now I’m placed in such an incomprehensible situation.
Now, after such a long time? Is it something inevitable? Did I think about it many times? Did I start complaining again?
I just wanted to live normally. I didn’t need ability, nor this circumstance of Anonymous, nor Roll, nor Tameiki-san, nor everyone…
“I didn’t need them!!”
I know that I was being eroded.
My heart is, in the darkness. Even though I knew, I screamed.
“I didn’t need them all!”
Is this my true feelings? I don’t know, this situation is one where I can’t see anything and I can’t hear any sound. As my heart was filled with anxiety and darkness, I felt that they would be gone when I spoke out.
Only my voice. My sound clears the darkness. But at the same time, it rots me.
“It’s enough right! I understand! Please get me out of here!”
As Yoiyami-san says.
I don’t know my true feelings. I don’t know what I want to do. Whether I really want to cling to my daily life, or whether I want to interact with people. I don’t understand.
Then I should choose the best choice.
Leave Anonymous and lives quietly somewhere, as Yoiyami-san taught. That’s enough.
Perhaps that’s what he wants me to think about.
This space is probably to remind me that it’s meaningless to be strong.
Is this the answer?
He also lied about wanting to train me. He just wanted to torment me like this. He just wanted show me reality.
“Get me out! Get me out of here!” I called out. I release full-powered Soundshoot in all directions.
“You damn bastard! Do you hear me!? Get me out of here, Yoiyami!!”
I kept screaming.
[Indelible Darkness]
I was given a meal and drink. Immediately after that, I fell asleep, and that’s how I welcome my 4th night since I came to this city.
“You didn’t return.”
Yoiyami-san sat down on a chair and said.
There is no lamp in this room. There is only a candle fire.
“…Yes.”
It was a long silence. The candle fire sways greatly once in a while.
The light barely illuminates each of our faces.
“Why do people live?”
I look at Yoiyami-san who muttered so.
“……”
“There is no definite answer to this difficult question. It’s an eternal proposition.”
Is that so?
It’s not difficult. At least I can answer immediately if asked by Yoiyami-san.
I don’t want to die, so I live.
“I’ll train you.”
That being said, I seriously looked at Yoiyami-san.
“…Is that ok?”
I couldn’t reply right away, but I said so. The words from yesterday still stuck in my heart.
“It would be troublesome if you die in front of the room after all.”
I didn’t think of dying. Perhaps Yoiyami-san also understand it, but it was he himself who yield to me who didn’t return even after receiving those words.
…No, let’s correct it. Didn’t return is a faulty expression.
Strictly speaking, I couldn’t go home.
Receiving Yoiyami-san’s point, I was strucked to the core and temporarily lost my spirit. That was all, but it seems Yoiyami-san was misunderstanding it. It seems he misunderstood and yield.
Or perhaps it’s not a misunderstanding, but he decided to accept me after understanding my feelings.
Anyway, I was the one who broke first, and honestly, I’m not glad with it.
However, regardless of that, I would like to receive training from Yoiyami-san.
Regardless of the process, the result was all right because in this way, I managed to get Yoiyami-san to train me.
“However, if I decide that you have no hope in these 5 days, I’ll have you go back. Alright?” said Yoiyami-san.
It seems that I have to make him admit that I have a hope in these 5 days.
“I understand.” I replied, and Yoiyami-san stood up. I look up at him.
“Then, follow me.”
I also stand up.
It seems we’re starting now. To be honest, I’m not in the mood for training right now.
I want to have a conversation with Yoiyami-san. I want to listen to various stories and think upon it.
But I kept silent and followed after Yoiyami-san.
Leaving the room, Yoiyami-san opened the door of the next room.
I looked inside from behind him, but it was pitch black and I couldn’t see anything.
There is no sign of people. It’s natural. No one lives in this apartment except for Yoiyami-san.
“Shion.” Yoiyami-san turned toward me and said.
“Yes.”
“Think slowly. About your weaknesses. About your enemies.” That said, Yoiyami-san grabbed my collar and threw me into the room.
I dropped on my butt at the entrance. On the other side of the door, Yoiyami-san looked down at me.
“What you need to train is your heart.”
*bang* the door was closed, and I was closed in the dark.
I didn’t really understand what Yoiyami-san wanted to do, so I stood up at once and…
There was no doorknob.
I reach out my hand, and go straight to the front. But I can’t even touch the door.
Looking back, there was a window in the room.
A faint light was leaking from there. However, the light was eventually swallowed by ‘black’, and I was enveloped in complete darkness.
What does it mean?
I reach out my hand again. I can’t touch the doorknob. I took a step forward, but for some reason I couldn’t proceed forward.
It felt like a was being pushed back.
What is this…
When I notice, I can’t even hear a sound from the other side of the door.
No, there is no sound in the room too.
“Ah.” I can hear my own voice.
What is this? What the hell is going on?
I was…locked up?
I take a deep breath once.
The fact that I couldn’t touch the doorknob was probably due to Yoiyami-san’s ability.
Yoiyami-san locked me in this room.
Is it okay to think so?
But for what?
Didn’t he say it? To think.
In other words, this can be considered as training. Something to make me stronger.
But is thinking, a training?
Can I become stronger by doing that? In such an empty pitch-black room.
While wondering about that, I took off my shoes and proceeded to the back of the room.
However, I stumbled upon something and fell.
I don’t know what I stumbled upon, but now that I’ve fallen, I can’t even tell which direction the door was.
Complete darkness. With nothing that can be seen.
No matter how long I waited, my eyes never got used to it.
I look around again.
I’m surrounded by darkness.
I felt suffocated.
I can hardly hear any sound. And my field of view is all black. My view is the same whether I open or close my eyes.
How long has it passed since then?
Few minutes? A few hours?
I don’t know, but it probably hasn’t been that long.
I didn’t think that darkness was this scary.
I was full of desire to get out of this room right now.
I tried to kick the wall, but my kick did not reach the wall, and the full-powered Soundshoot that I released was useless.
This space is sealed by Yoiyami-san’s ability, and it is impossible to escape from the inside.
And there is neither light nor food nor drink.
What should I do?
What should I do to get out of here? How long will I be trapped here?
Remembering Yoiyami-san’s words, I try to put it into words,
“Think slowly. About your weaknesses. About your enemies.”
He also said this,
“What you need to train is your heart.”
What did he mean?
Even Tameiki-san can give a better explanation y’know.
I wouldn’t know what to do if you only told me that much.
This situation is one where I can’t even see a little ahead. He really is a really bleak person.
However, I have hope.
5 days. If I can endure for 5 days, I’ll be released from this darkness. In other words, this darkness is not infinite.
I had enough. I lost my purpose. This kind of training is useless.
I want to go home.
I want to go home… In the first place, why do I have to think like this?
Why do I have to be strong?
Most people in this world can live without becoming stronger. They can live without improving their skills to kill people.
I should have been on that side, but now I’m placed in such an incomprehensible situation.
Now, after such a long time? Is it something inevitable? Did I think about it many times? Did I start complaining again?
I just wanted to live normally. I didn’t need ability, nor this circumstance of Anonymous, nor Roll, nor Tameiki-san, nor everyone…
“I didn’t need them!!”
I know that I was being eroded.
My heart is, in the darkness. Even though I knew, I screamed.
“I didn’t need them all!”
Is this my true feelings? I don’t know, this situation is one where I can’t see anything and I can’t hear any sound. As my heart was filled with anxiety and darkness, I felt that they would be gone when I spoke out.
Only my voice. My sound clears the darkness. But at the same time, it rots me.
“It’s enough right! I understand! Please get me out of here!”
As Yoiyami-san says.
I don’t know my true feelings. I don’t know what I want to do. Whether I really want to cling to my daily life, or whether I want to interact with people. I don’t understand.
Then I should choose the best choice.
Leave Anonymous and lives quietly somewhere, as Yoiyami-san taught. That’s enough.
Perhaps that’s what he wants me to think about.
This space is probably to remind me that it’s meaningless to be strong.
Is this the answer?
He also lied about wanting to train me. He just wanted to torment me like this. He just wanted show me reality.
“Get me out! Get me out of here!” I called out. I release full-powered Soundshoot in all directions.
“You damn bastard! Do you hear me!? Get me out of here, Yoiyami!!”
I kept screaming.
