“I am sorry, lord,” Zuri said. “I wish I had better news for you.”
“Just give me the facts, even if those facts suck. Don’t coddle me. If you had let me think I had more control over this... dire rat... than I did, I or other people could get badly hurt.”
Zuri’s eyes widened. “However... I may know of a way to offer you some control!” She turned hesitant. “However, I must make a suggestion you may not like.”
“I told you, I need your advice and counsel. Unfiltered. It doesn’t matter if I’ll like it. If you think it’s in my best interest to hear something, I want to hear it.”
“Then I believe I may know a way to give you more control over your rarity. But first, I must reveal that Lord Dickcheese was forceful with those who displeased him.”
“I know all that from Lydia. He tortured people for fun, and thanks to the blood pact, you couldn’t defend yourselves. Knowing he did all that was a big reason I did away with the blood pact as soon as I arrived, so no one could do anything like that to you ever again.”
“And I appreciate that, lord,” Zuri said quietly. “While Dickcheese primarily tortured captives, when we displeased him we also bore his wrath. He also tasked me with bringing him news of new torture methods he could use to punish those who displeased him.”
“I fucking hate this guy so much. But is this going somewhere?”
“One device I acquired at his request is known as an agony bracelet.”
“And... I’m guessing that’s a bracelet that inflicts agony?”
“Correct, lord!”
He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Zuri seemed sincerely impressed by his deductive capabilities, so even if she was flattering him, he wasn’t going to admit he’d noticed.
“An agony bracelet is a punishment device,” Zuri continued. “The bracelet is first attuned to an owner, who activates it, then placed upon the subject. When activated, the bracelet delivers excruciating pain to the subject, equivalent to the sensation of having one’s bones broken. However, no physical damage occurs. The subject merely feels the agony.”
“How is that different from an obedience fetish?” He hadn’t forgotten that, as Lord Gloomwood, he still had two of those nightmarish little discs in his possession.
“An obedience fetish can inflict pain, but only if its controller desires to inflict pain upon a subject. The fetish compels the subject to follow one’s orders without pain. This collar cannot compel the subject, but simply hurts them until they choose to obey. However, unlike an obedience fetish, it may be used on subjects who have not given their names.”
“And you need the subject’s name for an obedience fetish to work.” Drake once again thanked his lucky stars Dickcheese hadn’t stuck a collar on him instead. “That is fucking sadistic. Still, if you want nightmares, I’ll tell you some of the ways we torture people in my world.”
“If it’s all the same to you, lord, I’d rather not hear about that.”
“Probably for the best. Still, I see where you’re going with this. If my rarity is the same as Dickcheese’s, it reacts when I get injured... or experience pain. Last time I ratted out, it was after the bad guy shot me through the leg, broke my knee with a club, and intended to do worse. So if this bracelet provides pain equivalent to that, I could trigger my rarity as an action.”
“Or it could simply make you experience agony, lord. I cannot make any guarantees.”
Drake smiled with fresh excitement. “I don’t need guarantees. I need what you just did. You considered what I was asking about, made a mental connection to something I knew nothing about, and gave me an option I didn’t know I had.”
“Then you are pleased with my suggestion, lord?”
“I am. I am very pleased.”
She beamed. “I shall continue to research further ways to assist you.”
“And look! You didn’t even have to seduce me.”
Zuri chuckled politely.
“I need that bracelet as soon as you can get it. Then we need to organize... well, a field test, I suppose.”
“What sort of test is that?”
“It’s a military term from my world. We put the bracelet on me, make it hurt me, and see if I rat out. We also do it in a controlled environment, somewhere we’ve secured where we know I won’t be attacked, and where I can’t kill everyone before my rarity wears off.”
“The manor’s interior courtyard would be an excellent place for such a test, lord. When barred, the doors are quite sturdy, and I do not believe you could escape by climbing or jumping out. Our windows are equally reinforced.”
Drake nodded thoughtfully. “That just might work. Also, while I’m asking for stuff, I need a list of all the rarities in the other eight manors. Do we have one on hand?”
“We do, lord, though it is about a year out of date. I will send a missive to the capital for an updated copy first thing tomorrow.”
“Good. Make sure the other lords know I asked, too. I don’t want them thinking I’m not ready for whatever trick they decide to pull next. Now... I should let you sleep.”
“One moment, lord.” Zuri hesitated. “You should also consider forming an alliance.”
He eyed her with fresh curiosity. “An alliance?”
“With another manor lord. The former lord was adamantly opposed to alliances and power-sharing arrangements of any kind, but they are common among other manors. In particular, Lord Skybreak may be a good first target.”
Drake couldn’t help but be amused. “You think she’d make a good ally?”
“Yes, lord. Her manor’s territory and ours have long been friendly with one another, and you’ve already been introduced. I also know she proposed an alliance with the old lord not long ago. He refused. With her steward dead, she may be even more eager for an alliance.”
Drake now saw an opportunity to compare Zuri’s understanding with Sky’s. He knew Sky couldn’t lie to him, but there was still no guarantee she was telling him the complete truth. Even if she was, Zuri still might know things Sky did not.
“All right. Since we’re on the subject of alliances, what’s your opinion on the other manors? I know there are eight of them, but I need to know where we stand with each.”
“Of course, lord. Where would you like to start? We have Skybreak, Blackmane, Proudglade, Brightwater—”
“Start with Proudglade. They seem like our biggest problem at the moment.”
“And for good reason, lord. Their history of conflict with our manor goes back over twenty years. Oddly enough, it began with an alliance.”
Drake snorted. “So we were allied with those assholes?”
“Over twenty years ago. Our manors were once so close that Lord Gloomwood and Lord Proudglade proposed to merge houses.”
“Is that like a royal marriage?”
“Indeed, lord. There used to be twelve manors in this realm, but over time, four merged into two and one was wiped out, leaving the nine we have today.”
From his chat with Sky, Drake knew which manor got wiped out. The one with the thrall who could deceive the noble court. He wasn’t about to make that sort of mistake.
“So given we currently hate each other, I assume the merger went bad.”
“Accounts conflict, lord. This suggests each side interpreted events differently. But as we understand it, after the engagement was announced, it was learned Lord Gloomwood was unfaithful to her betrothed, Lord Proudglade. Shortly after, he was assassinated.”
This all sounded very suspicious, like a plot set up by the other manors to stop the merger. “Did Lord Gloomwood actually cheat on her groom-to-be? What if there was a plot to set her up?”
Zuri frowned. “There was testimony, lord. We know the infidelity occurred.”
That was right. People here couldn’t lie. That made unraveling complex conspiracies so much simpler... so long as people didn’t see things that hadn’t happened.
“Several weeks after the death of Lord Proudglade, a Gloomwood battle maid stepped forward. He admitted he killed the Lord Proudglade out of jealousy. He also admitted—”
“One second, Zuri.” Drake just had to interrupt. “Did you say he?”
“Yes.”
“The battle maid was male?”
“Correct, lord. Gloomwood battle maids have not always been exclusively female.”
Drake was almost desperately curious. “But did they actually wear maid outfits? The dudes, I mean?”
“Our manor’s uniforms have changed incrementally over the years, as fashion has changed, but silverweave is rare and valuable. There is no need to create new uniforms while the old ones suffice. If you like, I can find sketches of a male battle maid uniform.”
“No, you know what? I don’t need that mental image in my head.”
“Lord?”
“Forget it, Zuri. So Lord Gloomwood, who was a lady, was having an affair with one of her battle maids, who was a dude, while she was betrothed to Lord Proudglade.” This was actually sort of Arthurian, in a way, except Guinevere was the king instead of Arthur. “So what did Lord Proudglade do when he found out?”
“He cut off all contact with Lord Gloomwood and was murdered soon after. As suspicions mounted in the noble court that Lord Gloomwood had somehow assassinated her betrothed, her battle maid stepped forward to prove her innocence by admitting his guilt. He could not bear to see Lord Gloomwood with another man. Therefore, he killed his rival.”
“Damn.” Drake whistled. “And he was executed?” That was how they rolled here.
Zuri nodded. “After his execution, that battle maid’s name was stricken from the Gloomwood roster and thus lost to history. The shame he brought upon Gloomwood Manor’s honorable battle maids is why we have recruited only females since. As for that particular Lord of Gloomwood, she passed on her title to an advisor and went into exile.”
“So one dude bangs the boss and men are out of the running?”
“As we have discussed, men with rarities strong enough to become a battle maid are rare. And of course, lord, you have the freedom to recruit whoever you deem worthy.”
As a yawn overcame him, Drake realized he was too tired for more history lessons tonight. “All right, here’s another task for you. Write up a complete dossier on each of the other manors. Give me all the info on their current leaders, their best warriors, and how much they hate or don’t hate us. There’s no way I’m going to remember any of this otherwise.”
“I will begin on that at once, lord.”
“Tomorrow morning is fine. You need sleep as well.”
“I shall deliver it tomorrow afternoon, lord.”
Drake offered her a smile. “And thanks for the suggestion about allying with Skybreak Manor. I’ll consider that. Once again, you’ve pleased me.”
She graciously inclined her head. “Then I will let you retire once more, Lord Gloomwood. I will have the bracelet and its instructions delivered to your room tomorrow morning.”
“Thanks. Night.” He walked to the doors.
When he exited, he found Valentia waiting with the letters she’d grabbed earlier. She looked more than a bit curious. “Did you have a pleasant chat with Zuri?”
“Oh yeah,” Drake said. “I told her exactly how to please me, and she was exceedingly eager to do so. In fact, she pleased me twice before I left the room.”
Her ice-blue eyes narrowed. “While I recognize you think that is funny, you do understand how easily rumors start within this manor, do you not?”
“Absolutely. That’s why I had Lydia, Emily, and Olivia all come to my bedroom earlier today and locked the door. Because I didn’t want to start any embarrassing rumors.”
Valentia’s next sigh was overly dramatic. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
“Best do that. Given how many times I’ve been pleased today, I’m pretty wiped out.”
Once he was back in his room with his letters, with the door locked, Drake was almost too excited to sleep. Experiencing the pain of having his bones broken and his flesh torn was terrifying, but if it gave him the power to turn into a dire rat and wreck his enemies at will, well... that’d be worth a little discomfort.
Or, in this case, a metric fuckton of discomfort.
“I am sorry, lord,” Zuri said. “I wish I had better news for you.”
“Just give me the facts, even if those facts suck. Don’t coddle me. If you had let me think I had more control over this... dire rat... than I did, I or other people could get badly hurt.”
Zuri’s eyes widened. “However... I may know of a way to offer you some control!” She turned hesitant. “However, I must make a suggestion you may not like.”
“I told you, I need your advice and counsel. Unfiltered. It doesn’t matter if I’ll like it. If you think it’s in my best interest to hear something, I want to hear it.”
“Then I believe I may know a way to give you more control over your rarity. But first, I must reveal that Lord Dickcheese was forceful with those who displeased him.”
“I know all that from Lydia. He tortured people for fun, and thanks to the blood pact, you couldn’t defend yourselves. Knowing he did all that was a big reason I did away with the blood pact as soon as I arrived, so no one could do anything like that to you ever again.”
“And I appreciate that, lord,” Zuri said quietly. “While Dickcheese primarily tortured captives, when we displeased him we also bore his wrath. He also tasked me with bringing him news of new torture methods he could use to punish those who displeased him.”
“I fucking hate this guy so much. But is this going somewhere?”
“One device I acquired at his request is known as an agony bracelet.”
“And... I’m guessing that’s a bracelet that inflicts agony?”
“Correct, lord!”
He barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Zuri seemed sincerely impressed by his deductive capabilities, so even if she was flattering him, he wasn’t going to admit he’d noticed.
“An agony bracelet is a punishment device,” Zuri continued. “The bracelet is first attuned to an owner, who activates it, then placed upon the subject. When activated, the bracelet delivers excruciating pain to the subject, equivalent to the sensation of having one’s bones broken. However, no physical damage occurs. The subject merely feels the agony.”
“How is that different from an obedience fetish?” He hadn’t forgotten that, as Lord Gloomwood, he still had two of those nightmarish little discs in his possession.
“An obedience fetish can inflict pain, but only if its controller desires to inflict pain upon a subject. The fetish compels the subject to follow one’s orders without pain. This collar cannot compel the subject, but simply hurts them until they choose to obey. However, unlike an obedience fetish, it may be used on subjects who have not given their names.”
“And you need the subject’s name for an obedience fetish to work.” Drake once again thanked his lucky stars Dickcheese hadn’t stuck a collar on him instead. “That is fucking sadistic. Still, if you want nightmares, I’ll tell you some of the ways we torture people in my world.”
“If it’s all the same to you, lord, I’d rather not hear about that.”
“Probably for the best. Still, I see where you’re going with this. If my rarity is the same as Dickcheese’s, it reacts when I get injured... or experience pain. Last time I ratted out, it was after the bad guy shot me through the leg, broke my knee with a club, and intended to do worse. So if this bracelet provides pain equivalent to that, I could trigger my rarity as an action.”
“Or it could simply make you experience agony, lord. I cannot make any guarantees.”
Drake smiled with fresh excitement. “I don’t need guarantees. I need what you just did. You considered what I was asking about, made a mental connection to something I knew nothing about, and gave me an option I didn’t know I had.”
“Then you are pleased with my suggestion, lord?”
“I am. I am very pleased.”
She beamed. “I shall continue to research further ways to assist you.”
“And look! You didn’t even have to seduce me.”
Zuri chuckled politely.
“I need that bracelet as soon as you can get it. Then we need to organize... well, a field test, I suppose.”
“What sort of test is that?”
“It’s a military term from my world. We put the bracelet on me, make it hurt me, and see if I rat out. We also do it in a controlled environment, somewhere we’ve secured where we know I won’t be attacked, and where I can’t kill everyone before my rarity wears off.”
“The manor’s interior courtyard would be an excellent place for such a test, lord. When barred, the doors are quite sturdy, and I do not believe you could escape by climbing or jumping out. Our windows are equally reinforced.”
Drake nodded thoughtfully. “That just might work. Also, while I’m asking for stuff, I need a list of all the rarities in the other eight manors. Do we have one on hand?”
“We do, lord, though it is about a year out of date. I will send a missive to the capital for an updated copy first thing tomorrow.”
“Good. Make sure the other lords know I asked, too. I don’t want them thinking I’m not ready for whatever trick they decide to pull next. Now... I should let you sleep.”
“One moment, lord.” Zuri hesitated. “You should also consider forming an alliance.”
He eyed her with fresh curiosity. “An alliance?”
“With another manor lord. The former lord was adamantly opposed to alliances and power-sharing arrangements of any kind, but they are common among other manors. In particular, Lord Skybreak may be a good first target.”
Drake couldn’t help but be amused. “You think she’d make a good ally?”
“Yes, lord. Her manor’s territory and ours have long been friendly with one another, and you’ve already been introduced. I also know she proposed an alliance with the old lord not long ago. He refused. With her steward dead, she may be even more eager for an alliance.”
Drake now saw an opportunity to compare Zuri’s understanding with Sky’s. He knew Sky couldn’t lie to him, but there was still no guarantee she was telling him the complete truth. Even if she was, Zuri still might know things Sky did not.
“All right. Since we’re on the subject of alliances, what’s your opinion on the other manors? I know there are eight of them, but I need to know where we stand with each.”
“Of course, lord. Where would you like to start? We have Skybreak, Blackmane, Proudglade, Brightwater—”
“Start with Proudglade. They seem like our biggest problem at the moment.”
“And for good reason, lord. Their history of conflict with our manor goes back over twenty years. Oddly enough, it began with an alliance.”
Drake snorted. “So we were allied with those assholes?”
“Over twenty years ago. Our manors were once so close that Lord Gloomwood and Lord Proudglade proposed to merge houses.”
“Is that like a royal marriage?”
“Indeed, lord. There used to be twelve manors in this realm, but over time, four merged into two and one was wiped out, leaving the nine we have today.”
From his chat with Sky, Drake knew which manor got wiped out. The one with the thrall who could deceive the noble court. He wasn’t about to make that sort of mistake.
“So given we currently hate each other, I assume the merger went bad.”
“Accounts conflict, lord. This suggests each side interpreted events differently. But as we understand it, after the engagement was announced, it was learned Lord Gloomwood was unfaithful to her betrothed, Lord Proudglade. Shortly after, he was assassinated.”
This all sounded very suspicious, like a plot set up by the other manors to stop the merger. “Did Lord Gloomwood actually cheat on her groom-to-be? What if there was a plot to set her up?”
Zuri frowned. “There was testimony, lord. We know the infidelity occurred.”
That was right. People here couldn’t lie. That made unraveling complex conspiracies so much simpler... so long as people didn’t see things that hadn’t happened.
“Several weeks after the death of Lord Proudglade, a Gloomwood battle maid stepped forward. He admitted he killed the Lord Proudglade out of jealousy. He also admitted—”
“One second, Zuri.” Drake just had to interrupt. “Did you say he?”
“Yes.”
“The battle maid was male?”
“Correct, lord. Gloomwood battle maids have not always been exclusively female.”
Drake was almost desperately curious. “But did they actually wear maid outfits? The dudes, I mean?”
“Our manor’s uniforms have changed incrementally over the years, as fashion has changed, but silverweave is rare and valuable. There is no need to create new uniforms while the old ones suffice. If you like, I can find sketches of a male battle maid uniform.”
“No, you know what? I don’t need that mental image in my head.”
“Lord?”
“Forget it, Zuri. So Lord Gloomwood, who was a lady, was having an affair with one of her battle maids, who was a dude, while she was betrothed to Lord Proudglade.” This was actually sort of Arthurian, in a way, except Guinevere was the king instead of Arthur. “So what did Lord Proudglade do when he found out?”
“He cut off all contact with Lord Gloomwood and was murdered soon after. As suspicions mounted in the noble court that Lord Gloomwood had somehow assassinated her betrothed, her battle maid stepped forward to prove her innocence by admitting his guilt. He could not bear to see Lord Gloomwood with another man. Therefore, he killed his rival.”
“Damn.” Drake whistled. “And he was executed?” That was how they rolled here.
Zuri nodded. “After his execution, that battle maid’s name was stricken from the Gloomwood roster and thus lost to history. The shame he brought upon Gloomwood Manor’s honorable battle maids is why we have recruited only females since. As for that particular Lord of Gloomwood, she passed on her title to an advisor and went into exile.”
“So one dude bangs the boss and men are out of the running?”
“As we have discussed, men with rarities strong enough to become a battle maid are rare. And of course, lord, you have the freedom to recruit whoever you deem worthy.”
As a yawn overcame him, Drake realized he was too tired for more history lessons tonight. “All right, here’s another task for you. Write up a complete dossier on each of the other manors. Give me all the info on their current leaders, their best warriors, and how much they hate or don’t hate us. There’s no way I’m going to remember any of this otherwise.”
“I will begin on that at once, lord.”
“Tomorrow morning is fine. You need sleep as well.”
“I shall deliver it tomorrow afternoon, lord.”
Drake offered her a smile. “And thanks for the suggestion about allying with Skybreak Manor. I’ll consider that. Once again, you’ve pleased me.”
She graciously inclined her head. “Then I will let you retire once more, Lord Gloomwood. I will have the bracelet and its instructions delivered to your room tomorrow morning.”
“Thanks. Night.” He walked to the doors.
When he exited, he found Valentia waiting with the letters she’d grabbed earlier. She looked more than a bit curious. “Did you have a pleasant chat with Zuri?”
“Oh yeah,” Drake said. “I told her exactly how to please me, and she was exceedingly eager to do so. In fact, she pleased me twice before I left the room.”
Her ice-blue eyes narrowed. “While I recognize you think that is funny, you do understand how easily rumors start within this manor, do you not?”
“Absolutely. That’s why I had Lydia, Emily, and Olivia all come to my bedroom earlier today and locked the door. Because I didn’t want to start any embarrassing rumors.”
Valentia’s next sigh was overly dramatic. “Let’s get you back to bed.”
“Best do that. Given how many times I’ve been pleased today, I’m pretty wiped out.”
Once he was back in his room with his letters, with the door locked, Drake was almost too excited to sleep. Experiencing the pain of having his bones broken and his flesh torn was terrifying, but if it gave him the power to turn into a dire rat and wreck his enemies at will, well... that’d be worth a little discomfort.
Or, in this case, a metric fuckton of discomfort.
