The sky was adorned with a new moon, and the courtyard bathed in cold light. The north wind howls, tree shadows dance, stepping on the chilly stone slabs. Regardless of how blurry one may be from sleep, at this moment, one should be fully awake. Yet, Liang Feng felt as if his consciousness was still hazy, drowning in a dream.
If it weren’t a dream, how could he hear this?
Faint melodies drifted with the wind, not resembling bamboo flutes but more like someone playing a tune on a willow whistle. It was indeed a melody, the sun setting in the west, by the shores of Lake Wei, groups of warriors with instruments singing. Singing of their bravery and fearlessness, singing of their tender feelings for their hometown. What a moving ballad.
But this song shouldn’t be here. It shouldn’t be playing when he was waking up from a dream.
Liang Feng forgot about the maid by his side, forgot about the bitterly cold night wind. He foolishly followed the music, walking towards the depths of the courtyard.
The voice didn’t stop; instead, it changed. Later on, it didn’t even play the impassioned melody but recited the softest parts repeatedly.
His heart was in chaos as he stopped outside a courtyard wall, clenching his fists, as if trying to pull himself back from the hazy dream to reality.
Never before had he seen the lord show such a lost look. The maid, both cold and scared, couldn’t help but speak softly, “Lord, it’s late; we should…”
Her words were cut short as the flute abruptly ceased within the courtyard. Liang Feng’s body trembled, unable to resist stepping over the courtyard wall. Though there were no lights inside the courtyard, at that moment, the moon, clear as water, illuminated the scene. A figure draped in a fur cloak, holding a bamboo reed, seemed to have just risen, gazing at him with a somewhat dazed expression. Those eyes were supposed to be gray-blue, but on this night, they resembled deep blue lake water, bottomless.
In those eyes, there was confusion, surprise, and an ecstatic joy that couldn’t be restrained, though no words were spoken. It seemed to convey a thousand emotions.
Captivated by that gaze, Liang Feng jolted awake from his dreamlike state. Before he could come up with an excuse, the person from the corridor had already walked up quickly, yanking off a large cloak from their shoulder and wrapping it around Liang Feng.
“Lord, why did you come?”
A warmth enveloped him as if he were being embraced. Liang Feng had initially wanted to find an excuse to leave, but this sudden warmth left him momentarily speechless. It wasn’t until he was guided a few steps and reached a sheltered corridor that he remembered what he wanted to ask, “What are you playing?”
“A reed flute,” Yiyan handed over the reed he held.
That wasn’t what he wanted to ask. Liang Feng shook his head, “Where did you learn this melody?”
Seemingly caught off guard by the question, Yiyan paused before responding, “It’s a tune played by the Lord.”
Did I play this tune? Liang Feng couldn’t recall the last time he played the instrument. It seemed like an eternity ago, and he couldn’t remember if he had indeed played it.
Sensing his hesitation, Yiyan whispered, “Whenever the troops achieve victory or there’s a joyous occasion in the mansion, you play a few segments. You seem to be quite fond of this melody, my Lord.”
With those simple words, memories that were once blurred started to come into focus. Liang Feng remembered – he had just organized the Liang Mansion, and he was diligently catching up on the knowledge scholars were supposed to know. Playing the zither was one of those pursuits. However, traditional tunes were challenging, so he occasionally adapted modern melodies to relax. But such tunes were never performed in front of others, except perhaps for Luzhu and the person before him.
But among the numerous scattered musical pieces, why did he only remember this one, and why did he play it today?
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It was a coincidence. Liang Feng closed his eyes, feeling the fatigue resurge. Blame it on the nightmares that had robbed him of self-control.
“No worries. I just heard it at night and came to take a look.” It was time to leave. With the upcoming expedition, he shouldn’t disturb Yiyan any longer. Liang Feng wanted to say something and leave with grace.
However, Yiyan furrowed his brows, suddenly asking, “My Lord, are you worried about Ye City?”
Liang Feng’s words once again stuck in his throat. After a pause, he said, “It’s just bandits. With you overseeing it, there’s no need to worry.”
“In General Zhang’s plan, the people inside the city are not taken into account.”
Yiyan’s voice wasn’t loud, but it hit Liang Feng’s heart like thunder. His arm trembled. Yes, the day when the strategists were planning, not a single word was mentioned about the civilians in Ye City. How many people are in Ye City now? It had suffered once at the hands of the Duan clan’s Xianbei, and the population might not be substantial. However, considering the Xianbei were able to take away eight thousand women, how many lives would the current bandits plunder and harm?
Those were thousands upon thousands of innocent lives!
He didn’t ask, didn’t say, didn’t calculate. This was not something he could save. In times of widespread chaos, where was there no suffering for the common people? As a commander, he should view lives as insignificant numbers, as pieces on a chessboard. Otherwise, how could he aspire to dominance and conquest? Even Liu Bei, the weeping uncle in the “Romance of the Three Kingdoms”, abandoned his wife and children, watching tens of thousands of people wander in destitution. With only one province under his control and an army of fewer than thirty thousand, what more could he do?
For the greater cause, he should follow Zhang Bin’s strategy and seize cities and territories. Only by capturing more territory, and governing it attentively, could he bring stability back to the lives of the people in this chaotic era, just like the current state of Bing County.
He understands the logic, but those things in his heart still keep him awake at night, causing him great unrest. Perhaps one day, he could overcome these “weaknesses” and become as cold-hearted and stoic as other warlords. But would he still be himself then?
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Looking at the suddenly pale face, Yiyan felt a wrenching sensation in his heart and couldn’t help but say, “I can advance the troops. While the bandits haven’t completely destroyed Ye City, we can drive them out. This way, we can save more people…”
Liang Feng abruptly lifted his head, but the open mouth remained silent. It was too risky; after all, no one could arrive at just the right moment across the mountain pass. If they weren’t careful, even the Bing County troops might fall into jeopardy. This was war, not a rescue mission; they couldn’t afford to play games.
In those black eyes staring at him, there was struggle, reluctance, and a rare mix of sorrow and frustration. As if possessed, Yiyan extended his hand, gently caressing Liang Feng’s smooth and cold cheek, saying, “I can do it. I can save more for my lord… as long as my lord is determined…”
His voice grew softer and closer, turning into a lingering whisper. The trembling lips touched another thin pair, resembling a feather-light brush.
Liang Feng stiffened. Whether it was the enchantment of those gray-blue eyes or the impact of those words, he found himself unable to evade. The touch on the lips felt pure, devout, not like a kiss. Yet, the hand on his face was the complete opposite, hot and scorching, capable of soothing the winter’s chill.
He longed for this warmth.
Neither knew who initiated the action, but the kiss deepened. Closed teeth were pried apart by probing tongues, hooked onto a certain spot, sucking and stirring, as if intending to claim the other’s moisture. The heavy nasal breaths sprayed on their faces, carrying a sense of scorching urgency. A hand slid down and pressed onto the spine, exerting a fierce pressure, as if trying to meld the person into their very bone and blood.
Liang Feng trembled involuntarily. Something that had been pent up inside him for too long, suppressed for too long, started to surge. He wanted this, wanted that tingling sensation that made his spine go numb and his whole body tremble. Something was screaming and shouting, urging him to surrender to desire. He had left it empty for too long, suppressed for too long, and a tiny spark could ignite it all. All of this was within reach because that person sacrificed himself, offering everything to him…
A sharp pain cut through. Liang Feng suddenly gasped for a breath of cold air. The kiss was too intense, biting a certain spot on his lip, bringing back the almost-burned-out reason to its original place.
Liang Feng halted the entwined lips and tongues, forcefully pulling away, and sternly admonished, “Yiyan!”
He didn’t call out Yiyan’s name; the shout, like a heavy blow to the head, halted the other’s actions. Yiyan stopped, trembling more violently. His entire body felt like a burning ember, emitting scorching heat. Yet, he still struggled to come to a halt, his breathing erratic, whispering, “My lord…”
The voice carried a pleading tone, mixed with almost uncontrollable passion. Even such a low murmur was enough to make one’s ears burn. However, Liang Feng clenched his teeth and retreated, saying, “Let go!”
“My lord, you also desire…” How could Yiyan let go? The person he had longed for in his dreams was now in his arms, responding passionately. How could he possibly let go?
Did he want it too? Trembling uncontrollably, Liang Feng remained firm: “If I take a wife? If I have concubines? If I ascend to a high position and seek new pleasures every night? Can you endure it?”
Yiyan froze, the fiery gaze in his eyes extinguished as if doused with a bucket of cold water. Could he endure it? The grinding of teeth echoed, and in those gray-blue eyes, a burst of resentment erupted.
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Liang Feng saw it. Those eyes, in the moonlit night, resembled wolf eyes, shimmering with a chilling light. Yiyan couldn’t endure it, of course. He loved him. Any fervent love was possessive, exclusive, and relentless. If they were lord and servant, this balance could still be maintained. However, if he yielded, their emotions were enough to shatter any reason, and recovery would be impossible.
They couldn’t go any further. It was because Liang Feng himself was not the kind of person who could make commitments.
Breaking free from the other’s embrace, Liang Feng attempted to turn away, but a hand grasped him suddenly. The grip was so strong, it felt like his wrist was about to snap into two.
“My lord!” Yiyan’s call trembled. This was different from any previous occasion; he knew that if he let go, everything would vanish into thin air.
Enduring the pain in his wrist, Liang Feng clenched his teeth. “Let go!”
A knife sliced through the intangible tension between them. Yiyan’s strength was tremendous; if he wished, no one could escape from his grasp. However, that slender and fair wrist was pulled free. The fur cloak slipped from the shoulder and fell to the ground. Without looking back, Liang Feng took large strides and walked away.
The moon seemed to have suddenly hidden behind the clouds, enveloping the surroundings in pitch darkness with a chilling atmosphere. Yiyan stood motionless in the courtyard as if turned into wood.
The sky was adorned with a new moon, and the courtyard bathed in cold light. The north wind howls, tree shadows dance, stepping on the chilly stone slabs. Regardless of how blurry one may be from sleep, at this moment, one should be fully awake. Yet, Liang Feng felt as if his consciousness was still hazy, drowning in a dream.
If it weren’t a dream, how could he hear this?
Faint melodies drifted with the wind, not resembling bamboo flutes but more like someone playing a tune on a willow whistle. It was indeed a melody, the sun setting in the west, by the shores of Lake Wei, groups of warriors with instruments singing. Singing of their bravery and fearlessness, singing of their tender feelings for their hometown. What a moving ballad.
But this song shouldn’t be here. It shouldn’t be playing when he was waking up from a dream.
Liang Feng forgot about the maid by his side, forgot about the bitterly cold night wind. He foolishly followed the music, walking towards the depths of the courtyard.
The voice didn’t stop; instead, it changed. Later on, it didn’t even play the impassioned melody but recited the softest parts repeatedly.
His heart was in chaos as he stopped outside a courtyard wall, clenching his fists, as if trying to pull himself back from the hazy dream to reality.
Never before had he seen the lord show such a lost look. The maid, both cold and scared, couldn’t help but speak softly, “Lord, it’s late; we should…”
Her words were cut short as the flute abruptly ceased within the courtyard. Liang Feng’s body trembled, unable to resist stepping over the courtyard wall. Though there were no lights inside the courtyard, at that moment, the moon, clear as water, illuminated the scene. A figure draped in a fur cloak, holding a bamboo reed, seemed to have just risen, gazing at him with a somewhat dazed expression. Those eyes were supposed to be gray-blue, but on this night, they resembled deep blue lake water, bottomless.
In those eyes, there was confusion, surprise, and an ecstatic joy that couldn’t be restrained, though no words were spoken. It seemed to convey a thousand emotions.
Captivated by that gaze, Liang Feng jolted awake from his dreamlike state. Before he could come up with an excuse, the person from the corridor had already walked up quickly, yanking off a large cloak from their shoulder and wrapping it around Liang Feng.
“Lord, why did you come?”
A warmth enveloped him as if he were being embraced. Liang Feng had initially wanted to find an excuse to leave, but this sudden warmth left him momentarily speechless. It wasn’t until he was guided a few steps and reached a sheltered corridor that he remembered what he wanted to ask, “What are you playing?”
“A reed flute,” Yiyan handed over the reed he held.
That wasn’t what he wanted to ask. Liang Feng shook his head, “Where did you learn this melody?”
Seemingly caught off guard by the question, Yiyan paused before responding, “It’s a tune played by the Lord.”
Did I play this tune? Liang Feng couldn’t recall the last time he played the instrument. It seemed like an eternity ago, and he couldn’t remember if he had indeed played it.
Sensing his hesitation, Yiyan whispered, “Whenever the troops achieve victory or there’s a joyous occasion in the mansion, you play a few segments. You seem to be quite fond of this melody, my Lord.”
With those simple words, memories that were once blurred started to come into focus. Liang Feng remembered – he had just organized the Liang Mansion, and he was diligently catching up on the knowledge scholars were supposed to know. Playing the zither was one of those pursuits. However, traditional tunes were challenging, so he occasionally adapted modern melodies to relax. But such tunes were never performed in front of others, except perhaps for Luzhu and the person before him.
But among the numerous scattered musical pieces, why did he only remember this one, and why did he play it today?
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It was a coincidence. Liang Feng closed his eyes, feeling the fatigue resurge. Blame it on the nightmares that had robbed him of self-control.
“No worries. I just heard it at night and came to take a look.” It was time to leave. With the upcoming expedition, he shouldn’t disturb Yiyan any longer. Liang Feng wanted to say something and leave with grace.
However, Yiyan furrowed his brows, suddenly asking, “My Lord, are you worried about Ye City?”
Liang Feng’s words once again stuck in his throat. After a pause, he said, “It’s just bandits. With you overseeing it, there’s no need to worry.”
“In General Zhang’s plan, the people inside the city are not taken into account.”
Yiyan’s voice wasn’t loud, but it hit Liang Feng’s heart like thunder. His arm trembled. Yes, the day when the strategists were planning, not a single word was mentioned about the civilians in Ye City. How many people are in Ye City now? It had suffered once at the hands of the Duan clan’s Xianbei, and the population might not be substantial. However, considering the Xianbei were able to take away eight thousand women, how many lives would the current bandits plunder and harm?
Those were thousands upon thousands of innocent lives!
He didn’t ask, didn’t say, didn’t calculate. This was not something he could save. In times of widespread chaos, where was there no suffering for the common people? As a commander, he should view lives as insignificant numbers, as pieces on a chessboard. Otherwise, how could he aspire to dominance and conquest? Even Liu Bei, the weeping uncle in the “Romance of the Three Kingdoms”, abandoned his wife and children, watching tens of thousands of people wander in destitution. With only one province under his control and an army of fewer than thirty thousand, what more could he do?
For the greater cause, he should follow Zhang Bin’s strategy and seize cities and territories. Only by capturing more territory, and governing it attentively, could he bring stability back to the lives of the people in this chaotic era, just like the current state of Bing County.
He understands the logic, but those things in his heart still keep him awake at night, causing him great unrest. Perhaps one day, he could overcome these “weaknesses” and become as cold-hearted and stoic as other warlords. But would he still be himself then?
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Looking at the suddenly pale face, Yiyan felt a wrenching sensation in his heart and couldn’t help but say, “I can advance the troops. While the bandits haven’t completely destroyed Ye City, we can drive them out. This way, we can save more people…”
Liang Feng abruptly lifted his head, but the open mouth remained silent. It was too risky; after all, no one could arrive at just the right moment across the mountain pass. If they weren’t careful, even the Bing County troops might fall into jeopardy. This was war, not a rescue mission; they couldn’t afford to play games.
In those black eyes staring at him, there was struggle, reluctance, and a rare mix of sorrow and frustration. As if possessed, Yiyan extended his hand, gently caressing Liang Feng’s smooth and cold cheek, saying, “I can do it. I can save more for my lord… as long as my lord is determined…”
His voice grew softer and closer, turning into a lingering whisper. The trembling lips touched another thin pair, resembling a feather-light brush.
Liang Feng stiffened. Whether it was the enchantment of those gray-blue eyes or the impact of those words, he found himself unable to evade. The touch on the lips felt pure, devout, not like a kiss. Yet, the hand on his face was the complete opposite, hot and scorching, capable of soothing the winter’s chill.
He longed for this warmth.
Neither knew who initiated the action, but the kiss deepened. Closed teeth were pried apart by probing tongues, hooked onto a certain spot, sucking and stirring, as if intending to claim the other’s moisture. The heavy nasal breaths sprayed on their faces, carrying a sense of scorching urgency. A hand slid down and pressed onto the spine, exerting a fierce pressure, as if trying to meld the person into their very bone and blood.
Liang Feng trembled involuntarily. Something that had been pent up inside him for too long, suppressed for too long, started to surge. He wanted this, wanted that tingling sensation that made his spine go numb and his whole body tremble. Something was screaming and shouting, urging him to surrender to desire. He had left it empty for too long, suppressed for too long, and a tiny spark could ignite it all. All of this was within reach because that person sacrificed himself, offering everything to him…
A sharp pain cut through. Liang Feng suddenly gasped for a breath of cold air. The kiss was too intense, biting a certain spot on his lip, bringing back the almost-burned-out reason to its original place.
Liang Feng halted the entwined lips and tongues, forcefully pulling away, and sternly admonished, “Yiyan!”
He didn’t call out Yiyan’s name; the shout, like a heavy blow to the head, halted the other’s actions. Yiyan stopped, trembling more violently. His entire body felt like a burning ember, emitting scorching heat. Yet, he still struggled to come to a halt, his breathing erratic, whispering, “My lord…”
The voice carried a pleading tone, mixed with almost uncontrollable passion. Even such a low murmur was enough to make one’s ears burn. However, Liang Feng clenched his teeth and retreated, saying, “Let go!”
“My lord, you also desire…” How could Yiyan let go? The person he had longed for in his dreams was now in his arms, responding passionately. How could he possibly let go?
Did he want it too? Trembling uncontrollably, Liang Feng remained firm: “If I take a wife? If I have concubines? If I ascend to a high position and seek new pleasures every night? Can you endure it?”
Yiyan froze, the fiery gaze in his eyes extinguished as if doused with a bucket of cold water. Could he endure it? The grinding of teeth echoed, and in those gray-blue eyes, a burst of resentment erupted.
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Liang Feng saw it. Those eyes, in the moonlit night, resembled wolf eyes, shimmering with a chilling light. Yiyan couldn’t endure it, of course. He loved him. Any fervent love was possessive, exclusive, and relentless. If they were lord and servant, this balance could still be maintained. However, if he yielded, their emotions were enough to shatter any reason, and recovery would be impossible.
They couldn’t go any further. It was because Liang Feng himself was not the kind of person who could make commitments.
Breaking free from the other’s embrace, Liang Feng attempted to turn away, but a hand grasped him suddenly. The grip was so strong, it felt like his wrist was about to snap into two.
“My lord!” Yiyan’s call trembled. This was different from any previous occasion; he knew that if he let go, everything would vanish into thin air.
Enduring the pain in his wrist, Liang Feng clenched his teeth. “Let go!”
A knife sliced through the intangible tension between them. Yiyan’s strength was tremendous; if he wished, no one could escape from his grasp. However, that slender and fair wrist was pulled free. The fur cloak slipped from the shoulder and fell to the ground. Without looking back, Liang Feng took large strides and walked away.
The moon seemed to have suddenly hidden behind the clouds, enveloping the surroundings in pitch darkness with a chilling atmosphere. Yiyan stood motionless in the courtyard as if turned into wood.
