Chapter 194: 194 "Forgive But Not Forget"
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194 “Forgive But Not Forget”
Eleanora’s POV~
‘Elee!!’
A gentle girly voice called out for me and i instantly knew that it was Liana, my first friend.
Whom i didn’t meet for a long time and i really missed our times together.
The year we stayed together, she was like a healing angel sent to me.
I never felt lonely because of her and brother Dom.
No matter what it was, they always helped me out and it was her, who made me cut off my fears about the past.
Encouraged me to face this new future, otherwise i might still be tremble at the sight of him.
Or, i would be found again obsessed with him just like the past.
.....
She never forced me to open up but comfort me at the same time, like a older sister.
Like she knew all my pain and struggle.
Am i dead?
Is this why am even seeing her rushing to me?
She had a cloak covering her, as my vision is blurred; i couldn’t see her face properly, which i think isn’t covered with a veil for the very first time.
“Lennie...”
I called out her nickname as i tried my best to force a smile at my face despite the pain.
She was really here, not my illusion.
And her hands, which was gripping mine trembled for a moment before she opened her mouth to speak in a low voice like she always used to do.
“Yeah- Am here... Elee, don’t worry, i won’t let anything happen to you- nothing will happen-”
Even with eyes shut close, i could feel the panic and fear she is going through.
I made everyone worry, thinking no one will care for me and get used to my absence.
But i was wrong, like he had said before.
Father, Cedrick, Brother Dom, everyone is really here… They genuinely loves and cares for me.
He isn’t going to die then too.
He is safe now…
“Don’t worry... I will save you... I promise,”
“Your Majesty... Pull out the sword,”
Liana spoke in a low voice again but for some reason, i felt like her voice has changed when she talked to the emperor.
Changed into a really familiar voice.
I felt a flinch on his body which seemed like hesitation as he heard Lennie’s words.
“Does...does it have..to be me?”
“Yeah, You have to do it...”
Lennie said as she helped my body, which had no strength left to sat up on his lap and lean on his chest, so that the sword could be pulled out from the back.
Fast… his heart was beating really faster.
I could hear his heart beating fast as his trembling hands hold the swords handle.
As the sword moved a tiny bit, i felt like already dying. It hurted like hell.
I would be dead if i didn’t had holy powers inside of me and my powerful ice mana, which could still fight against the deadly poison from spreading in my body fully.
“Please bear with it a little, Okay?”
“It will be over soon...”
The emperor spoke as he started to pull out the sword slowly from my chest and Lennie hold something on my back to stop my blood from flowing out much.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as i bite his shoulder hard to bear the pain.
Everytime the sword moved away from my flesh, i felt a rush of air coming in my body.
Making me shiver and tremble violently as there was no other way but do it right here.
And his hands, which was at my waist started to give me some little pats, to calm me down.
“Don’t cry... You know that you are my breathe, you are the blood flowing in my body... Keeping my heart alive, My empress.”
“You are the bravest woman i have ever meet... The prettiest and the most kind, i know you can bear it,”
He spoke as his hot tears fall on my neck, because his face was buried on my neck and my body flinched.
And my heart was getting twisted with my mixed emotions for him.
“You have to bear it for me... We still have a long way to go... You have to stay alive to reject me a dozen more times... You still didn’t took your knight oath... Isn’t it your biggest dream?”
So he remembers that.
When i used to talk with Ain, not knowing he was the crown prince; i once told him about my dream.
Even if i was a knight commander, I couldn’t swear an oath like the other knights.
I couldn’t swear that i would be faithful and loyal as knight, because i was the empress.
I had to run away first if anything ever happened as an empress. Not fight with my life on line like the knights.
Every year, i watched countless knights, wearing their squadron knight suit and kneeling down in-front of the emperor and the empress to swear the oath of loyalty.
I gave them my blessing, wishing how i would look at this moment if i was the one taking that oath.
The feeling of taking that oath, sent excitement shivers on my body; but i could never take that oath.
Which was one of my regrets too…
The emperor continued to speak as he slowly kept pulling out the sword from my chest.
His words made me forget the physical pain, it felt like the burden in my heart was also coming out.
Making my heart feeling suddenly so light that it made me cry more.
“...How can i live without you? You can’t be so cruel to me, my empress.”
“You can’t...”
This man, he always drives me crazy and makes me a person, whom i can’t even recognise myself.
No matter how much further i pushed him, he would shamelessly come after me again.
Making the burning desire in my heart to be loved by him again.
Doesn’t he knows how lowly and disgusted i feel towards myself, everytime i find myself becoming weak for him?
Unconsciously finding my heart to beat faster again when he takes a step towards me?
If he was just like the past, i would have hate him for sure or at least i wouldn’t feel how am feeling now.
But his current unpredictable behaviour makes me want to fall for him more then before.
In the past, i was just obsessed with him.
Because i was tired of leading and protecting.
I wanted someone to lead and protect me too, which was how the past him was.
Even if he never spoke any sweet words to me, but i liked how he used to lead me, protect me.
I used to like his over possessiveness, crazy jealousy- Which filled the insecurities i had in my heart.
It made me felt like i was someone important to him, that i matter to him.
But both of them couldn’t end well.
Because he didn’t knew how to love and i didn’t knew how to show love.
Both of us was only obsessed and hurt each other.
But the current him made me feel what it’s like to be feel loved for real.
He, spending time with me everyday in the disguise of Ain.. We talking for hours and feel like it was just a minute.
.....
Becoming happy just by eating together in a small restaurant and me looking forward to see him sneaking in my room through window.
And then discussing about the topics we like and respecting each others opinions.
Me, watching him like i was getting lost as he used to speak and him, looking at me the samw way.
Those small moments and sparkling feelings were true love, instead of my past obsession to be perfect for him, to get his love.
He made me realize that we don’t have to be perfect for each other.
We can talk and make a perfect decision together.
No need to work hard to make a flawless decision all alone.
We can trust and respect each other, and be perfect like that.
He made me understand that, he liked the way i am, with no need of changing to be loved.
The people who loves me, will keep loving me.
They will never leave, no matter what you become or how hard you push them away.
They will always be here, for you...
Tears rushed out from my eyes, either it was because of the physical pain or the pain in my heart for him.
“Augh!”
I let out small groan as he pulled out the sword with a swift movement as i was lost in thoughts.
“Sush...it’s finished... Finished... You are not going anywhere now... It’s finally finished...”
“You are safe... Alive... Yeah, You are really alive,”
As soon as the sword was pushed out, he throw away the sword and hugged me more tightly.
Like he has gotten back his life.
His breathing was heavy and his heart was beating fast crazily as i hugged him back too.
Somehow, i felt relieved... Happy that i didn’t died.
Happy that we made it.
He sounded like he was comforting me but in truth, he was just comforting himself.
I could feel his fear.
But then, my tired blue eyes become shocked before i felt my eyes become heavy again.
Dizziness got over me as a warmness spread over my wounded chest and the pain subdued.
The world around me felt like was turning dark and i could see his red eyes full of worry again, as he kept calling my name.
I fall back on the ground from his embrace, as i tried to clear my blurred vision one more time to cheak on something.
Which i desperately hoped for not to be true.
It was not the healing magic Lennie had used on me before...
It’s revival magic, which only Raven’s could perform... Jennifer De Liana Raven.
Jennifer De Liana.
Liana...
My Lennie, My only friend...
And then, finally i could identify those familiar light blonde hair which was hidden beneath the cloak.
Her caramel brown eyes was full of panic as she started to use her revival powers on me, more powerfully this time.
I seem to find my vision going dark again as i slowly lost my consciousness.
Even if i forgive… but I can’t forget.
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194 “Forgive But Not Forget”
Eleanora’s POV~
‘Elee!!’
A gentle girly voice called out for me and i instantly knew that it was Liana, my first friend.
Whom i didn’t meet for a long time and i really missed our times together.
The year we stayed together, she was like a healing angel sent to me.
I never felt lonely because of her and brother Dom.
No matter what it was, they always helped me out and it was her, who made me cut off my fears about the past.
Encouraged me to face this new future, otherwise i might still be tremble at the sight of him.
Or, i would be found again obsessed with him just like the past.
.....
She never forced me to open up but comfort me at the same time, like a older sister.
Like she knew all my pain and struggle.
Am i dead?
Is this why am even seeing her rushing to me?
She had a cloak covering her, as my vision is blurred; i couldn’t see her face properly, which i think isn’t covered with a veil for the very first time.
“Lennie...”
I called out her nickname as i tried my best to force a smile at my face despite the pain.
She was really here, not my illusion.
And her hands, which was gripping mine trembled for a moment before she opened her mouth to speak in a low voice like she always used to do.
“Yeah- Am here... Elee, don’t worry, i won’t let anything happen to you- nothing will happen-”
Even with eyes shut close, i could feel the panic and fear she is going through.
I made everyone worry, thinking no one will care for me and get used to my absence.
But i was wrong, like he had said before.
Father, Cedrick, Brother Dom, everyone is really here… They genuinely loves and cares for me.
He isn’t going to die then too.
He is safe now…
“Don’t worry... I will save you... I promise,”
“Your Majesty... Pull out the sword,”
Liana spoke in a low voice again but for some reason, i felt like her voice has changed when she talked to the emperor.
Changed into a really familiar voice.
I felt a flinch on his body which seemed like hesitation as he heard Lennie’s words.
“Does...does it have..to be me?”
“Yeah, You have to do it...”
Lennie said as she helped my body, which had no strength left to sat up on his lap and lean on his chest, so that the sword could be pulled out from the back.
Fast… his heart was beating really faster.
I could hear his heart beating fast as his trembling hands hold the swords handle.
As the sword moved a tiny bit, i felt like already dying. It hurted like hell.
I would be dead if i didn’t had holy powers inside of me and my powerful ice mana, which could still fight against the deadly poison from spreading in my body fully.
“Please bear with it a little, Okay?”
“It will be over soon...”
The emperor spoke as he started to pull out the sword slowly from my chest and Lennie hold something on my back to stop my blood from flowing out much.
I wrapped my arms around his neck as i bite his shoulder hard to bear the pain.
Everytime the sword moved away from my flesh, i felt a rush of air coming in my body.
Making me shiver and tremble violently as there was no other way but do it right here.
And his hands, which was at my waist started to give me some little pats, to calm me down.
“Don’t cry... You know that you are my breathe, you are the blood flowing in my body... Keeping my heart alive, My empress.”
“You are the bravest woman i have ever meet... The prettiest and the most kind, i know you can bear it,”
He spoke as his hot tears fall on my neck, because his face was buried on my neck and my body flinched.
And my heart was getting twisted with my mixed emotions for him.
“You have to bear it for me... We still have a long way to go... You have to stay alive to reject me a dozen more times... You still didn’t took your knight oath... Isn’t it your biggest dream?”
So he remembers that.
When i used to talk with Ain, not knowing he was the crown prince; i once told him about my dream.
Even if i was a knight commander, I couldn’t swear an oath like the other knights.
I couldn’t swear that i would be faithful and loyal as knight, because i was the empress.
I had to run away first if anything ever happened as an empress. Not fight with my life on line like the knights.
Every year, i watched countless knights, wearing their squadron knight suit and kneeling down in-front of the emperor and the empress to swear the oath of loyalty.
I gave them my blessing, wishing how i would look at this moment if i was the one taking that oath.
The feeling of taking that oath, sent excitement shivers on my body; but i could never take that oath.
Which was one of my regrets too…
The emperor continued to speak as he slowly kept pulling out the sword from my chest.
His words made me forget the physical pain, it felt like the burden in my heart was also coming out.
Making my heart feeling suddenly so light that it made me cry more.
“...How can i live without you? You can’t be so cruel to me, my empress.”
“You can’t...”
This man, he always drives me crazy and makes me a person, whom i can’t even recognise myself.
No matter how much further i pushed him, he would shamelessly come after me again.
Making the burning desire in my heart to be loved by him again.
Doesn’t he knows how lowly and disgusted i feel towards myself, everytime i find myself becoming weak for him?
Unconsciously finding my heart to beat faster again when he takes a step towards me?
If he was just like the past, i would have hate him for sure or at least i wouldn’t feel how am feeling now.
But his current unpredictable behaviour makes me want to fall for him more then before.
In the past, i was just obsessed with him.
Because i was tired of leading and protecting.
I wanted someone to lead and protect me too, which was how the past him was.
Even if he never spoke any sweet words to me, but i liked how he used to lead me, protect me.
I used to like his over possessiveness, crazy jealousy- Which filled the insecurities i had in my heart.
It made me felt like i was someone important to him, that i matter to him.
But both of them couldn’t end well.
Because he didn’t knew how to love and i didn’t knew how to show love.
Both of us was only obsessed and hurt each other.
But the current him made me feel what it’s like to be feel loved for real.
He, spending time with me everyday in the disguise of Ain.. We talking for hours and feel like it was just a minute.
.....
Becoming happy just by eating together in a small restaurant and me looking forward to see him sneaking in my room through window.
And then discussing about the topics we like and respecting each others opinions.
Me, watching him like i was getting lost as he used to speak and him, looking at me the samw way.
Those small moments and sparkling feelings were true love, instead of my past obsession to be perfect for him, to get his love.
He made me realize that we don’t have to be perfect for each other.
We can talk and make a perfect decision together.
No need to work hard to make a flawless decision all alone.
We can trust and respect each other, and be perfect like that.
He made me understand that, he liked the way i am, with no need of changing to be loved.
The people who loves me, will keep loving me.
They will never leave, no matter what you become or how hard you push them away.
They will always be here, for you...
Tears rushed out from my eyes, either it was because of the physical pain or the pain in my heart for him.
“Augh!”
I let out small groan as he pulled out the sword with a swift movement as i was lost in thoughts.
“Sush...it’s finished... Finished... You are not going anywhere now... It’s finally finished...”
“You are safe... Alive... Yeah, You are really alive,”
As soon as the sword was pushed out, he throw away the sword and hugged me more tightly.
Like he has gotten back his life.
His breathing was heavy and his heart was beating fast crazily as i hugged him back too.
Somehow, i felt relieved... Happy that i didn’t died.
Happy that we made it.
He sounded like he was comforting me but in truth, he was just comforting himself.
I could feel his fear.
But then, my tired blue eyes become shocked before i felt my eyes become heavy again.
Dizziness got over me as a warmness spread over my wounded chest and the pain subdued.
The world around me felt like was turning dark and i could see his red eyes full of worry again, as he kept calling my name.
I fall back on the ground from his embrace, as i tried to clear my blurred vision one more time to cheak on something.
Which i desperately hoped for not to be true.
It was not the healing magic Lennie had used on me before...
It’s revival magic, which only Raven’s could perform... Jennifer De Liana Raven.
Jennifer De Liana.
Liana...
My Lennie, My only friend...
And then, finally i could identify those familiar light blonde hair which was hidden beneath the cloak.
Her caramel brown eyes was full of panic as she started to use her revival powers on me, more powerfully this time.
I seem to find my vision going dark again as i slowly lost my consciousness.
Even if i forgive… but I can’t forget.
194 Forgive But Not ForgetEleanora's POV~Elee!!'A gentle girly voice called out for me and i instantly knew that it was Liana, my first friend.Whom i didn't meet for a long time and i really missed our times together.The year we stayed together, she was like a healing angel sent to me.I never felt lonely because of her and brother Dom.No matter what it was, they always helped me out and it was her, who made me cut off my fears about the past.Encouraged me to face this new future, otherwise i might still be tremble at the sight of him.Or, i would be found again obsessed with him just like the past......She never forced me to open up but comfort me at the same time, like a older sister.Like she knew all my pain and struggle.Am i dead?Is this why am even seeing her rushing to me?She had a cloak covering her, as my vision is blurred; i couldn't see her face properly, which i think isn't covered with a veil for the very first time.Lennie...I called out her nickname as i tried my best to force a smile at my face despite the pain.She was really here, not my illusion.And her hands, which was gripping mine trembled for a moment before she opened her mouth to speak in a low voice like she always used to do.Yeah- Am here... Elee, don't worry, i won't let anything happen to you- nothing will happen-Even with eyes shut close, i could feel the panic and fear she is going through.I made everyone worry, thinking no one will care for me and get used to my absence.But i was wrong, like he had said before.Father, Cedrick, Brother Dom, everyone is really here They genuinely loves and cares for me.He isn't going to die then too.He is safe nowDon't worry... I will save you... I promise,Your Majesty... Pull out the sword,Liana spoke in a low voice again but for some reason, i felt like her voice has changed when she talked to the emperor.Changed into a really familiar voice.I felt a flinch on his body which seemed like hesitation as he heard Lennie's words.Does...does it have..to be me?Yeah, You have to do it...Lennie said as she helped my body, which had no strength left to sat up on his lap and lean on his chest, so that the sword could be pulled out from the back.Fast his heart was beating really faster.I could hear his heart beating fast as his trembling hands hold the swords handle.As the sword moved a tiny bit, i felt like already dying. It hurted like hell.I would be dead if i didn't had holy powers inside of me and my powerful ice mana, which could still fight against the deadly poison from spreading in my body fully.Please bear with it a little, Okay?It will be over soon...The emperor spoke as he started to pull out the sword slowly from my chest and Lennie hold something on my back to stop my blood from flowing out much.I wrapped my arms around his neck as i bite his shoulder hard to bear the pain.Everytime the sword moved away from my flesh, i felt a rush of air coming in my body.Making me shiver and tremble violently as there was no other way but do it right here.And his hands, which was at my waist started to give me some little pats, to calm me down.Don't cry... You know that you are my breathe, you are the blood flowing in my body... Keeping my heart alive, My empress.You are the bravest woman i have ever meet... The prettiest and the most kind, i know you can bear it,He spoke as his hot tears fall on my neck, because his face was buried on my neck and my body flinched.And my heart was getting twisted with my mixed emotions for him.You have to bear it for me... We still have a long way to go... You have to stay alive to reject me a dozen more times... You still didn't took your knight oath... Isn't it your biggest dream?So he remembers that.When i used to talk with Ain, not knowing he was the crown prince; i once told him about my dream.Even if i was a knight commander, I couldn't swear an oath like the other knights.I couldn't swear that i would be faithful and loyal as knight, because i was the empress.I had to run away first if anything ever happened as an empress. Not fight with my life on line like the knights.Every year, i watched countless knights, wearing their squadron knight suit and kneeling down in-front of the emperor and the empress to swear the oath of loyalty.I gave them my blessing, wishing how i would look at this moment if i was the one taking that oath.The feeling of taking that oath, sent excitement shivers on my body; but i could never take that oath.Which was one of my regrets tooThe emperor continued to speak as he slowly kept pulling out the sword from my chest.His words made me forget the physical pain, it felt like the burden in my heart was also coming out.Making my heart feeling suddenly so light that it made me cry more....How can i live without you? You can't be so cruel to me, my empress.You can't...This man, he always drives me crazy and makes me a person, whom i can't even recognise myself.No matter how much further i pushed him, he would shamelessly come after me again.Making the burning desire in my heart to be loved by him again.Doesn't he knows how lowly and disgusted i feel towards myself, everytime i find myself becoming weak for him?Unconsciously finding my heart to beat faster again when he takes a step towards me?If he was just like the past, i would have hate him for sure or at least i wouldn't feel how am feeling now.But his current unpredictable behaviour makes me want to fall for him more then before.In the past, i was just obsessed with him.Because i was tired of leading and protecting.I wanted someone to lead and protect me too, which was how the past him was.Even if he never spoke any sweet words to me, but i liked how he used to lead me, protect me.I used to like his over possessiveness, crazy jealousy- Which filled the insecurities i had in my heart.It made me felt like i was someone important to him, that i matter to him.But both of them couldn't end well.Because he didn't knew how to love and i didn't knew how to show love.Both of us was only obsessed and hurt each other.But the current him made me feel what it's like to be feel loved for real.He, spending time with me everyday in the disguise of Ain.. We talking for hours and feel like it was just a minute......Becoming happy just by eating together in a small restaurant and me looking forward to see him sneaking in my room through window.And then discussing about the topics we like and respecting each others opinions.Me, watching him like i was getting lost as he used to speak and him, looking at me the samw way.Those small moments and sparkling feelings were true love, instead of my past obsession to be perfect for him, to get his love.He made me realize that we don't have to be perfect for each other.We can talk and make a perfect decision together.No need to work hard to make a flawless decision all alone.We can trust and respect each other, and be perfect like that.He made me understand that, he liked the way i am, with no need of changing to be loved.The people who loves me, will keep loving me.They will never leave, no matter what you become or how hard you push them away.They will always be here, for you...Tears rushed out from my eyes, either it was because of the physical pain or the pain in my heart for him.Augh!I let out small groan as he pulled out the sword with a swift movement as i was lost in thoughts.Sush...it's finished... Finished... You are not going anywhere now... It's finally finished...You are safe... Alive... Yeah, You are really alive,As soon as the sword was pushed out, he throw away the sword and hugged me more tightly.Like he has gotten back his life.His breathing was heavy and his heart was beating fast crazily as i hugged him back too.Somehow, i felt relieved... Happy that i didn't died.Happy that we made it.He sounded like he was comforting me but in truth, he was just comforting himself.I could feel his fear.But then, my tired blue eyes become shocked before i felt my eyes become heavy again. Dizziness got over me as a warmness spread over my wounded chest and the pain subdued.The world around me felt like was turning dark and i could see his red eyes full of worry again, as he kept calling my name.I fall back on the ground from his embrace, as i tried to clear my blurred vision one more time to cheak on something.Which i desperately hoped for not to be true.It was not the healing magic Lennie had used on me before...It's revival magic, which only Raven's could perform... Jennifer De Liana Raven.Jennifer De Liana.Liana...My Lennie, My only friend...And then, finally i could identify those familiar light blonde hair which was hidden beneath the cloak.Her caramel brown eyes was full of panic as she started to use her revival powers on me, more powerfully this time.I seem to find my vision going dark again as i slowly lost my consciousness.Even if i forgive but I can't forget.
