Chapter 195: 195 [Bonus chapter] "Alexander’s Regrets"
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195 [Bonus chapter] “Alexander’s Regrets”
[So guys... Here comes a long bonus chapter. Hope you all will like it ^_^ and thanks @diavla for your ice cola]
Eleanora’s POV~
(1 month later, In the imperial palace)
My eyes twitched as i felt the bright light falling on my face and frowned.
My head felt dizzy and my whole body felt too heavy to move.
But i still tried to open my eyes.
“Eleee!! Are you awake?!”
I heard my father’s concerned voice even before i could open my eyes properly or get the strength to speak.
“F-Father...”
.....
“Take it easy, Don’t rush...”
Father helped me to sat up and at the same time, someone else came in the room.
“ELEE?!”
Brother Dom also came in the room and behind him, i saw a tall figure standing outside.
Not daring to enter.
“How are you feeling?!”
Brother Dom asked as he tried to hold my hands but took them back.
“Did you all knew it?”
I asked coldly.
The three man in the room immediately became surprised because of my question but none of them dared to answer.
Which made my face darker and i decided to ask one more time.
“Did you all knew that priestess Liana was... Jennifer Raven?”
And as i had expected, there silence gave me the answer.
I snorted as i realised how they had once again played me, made me a complete fool and i... Believed them.
I reached out to the girl who caused all my misfortunes, who had snatched away my everything.
Even if that was in the past and she did nothing wrong in this life... But they all lied to me.
I had once again been betrayed by the people i loved and trusted.
First, it was his majesty.
I could hardly even accept him being Ain, but in the end, i accepted this fact.
“Was it fun to mess with my feelings?”
“Elee... It’s not like that, brother can explain-”
“Please, leave... I don’t wanna see you!”
Brother Dom’s hurtful face made me feel pain in my heart to treat him like that but i can’t help it.
He lied to me...
I know, he doesn’t know what happened between us in the past; but still he knew it and didn’t told me.
Even his majesty and father... They both protected her and helped to conceal her identity!
No wonder i never found out about this...
No wonder her caramel brown eyes always felt familiar... This is why she used to hide her face...
I was such a fool.
I craved for a friend and someone’s support and love so badly that i feel like a damn cheap person.
A cheap person who can do anything to get love and attention.
My heart feels like it’s twitching and someone is cutting it with a sharp sword.
I could keep my consciousness even with a sword pierced into my chest, but the fact of them be the same person made me so shocked that i lost my conscious.
“Elee, Calm down...”
Father also tried to comfort me but i yanked away his hands as i picked up a pillow to hit brother Dom.
“GO AWAY, YOU ALL ARE LIARS!!!”
“DID YOU ENJOYED SEEING ME LIKE THAT?!”
“BELIEVEING YOU ALL LIKE FOOL?”
“I DON’T WANNA SEE ANY OF YOU!!!”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”
I roared at them as i cried like a mad person.
Everytime i start to think that am different from the past, something happens which makes me feel worse then i was.
I ran my fingertips inside of my head in frustration as i sensed their concerned and guilty gaze.
Which made feel more bad.
“...Why... Why you all did this to me?”
I whispered in a low voice as i felt terrible.
“Please...leave me alone,”
The three of them looked reluctant, specially my father but in the end, they just decided to leave.
In the whole time, His majesty didn’t spoken a word. He should have known why i hated this fact so much.
He knows what he did to me together with Jennifer, in our past life...
Why does it always happens to me?
Can i never be happy?
…
Three days past like that and i started to get some news from the maids who kept attending my needs.
Although they don’t share much, but i can gasp the situation a little by it.
Seems like Raven Duchy is in turmoil, this must be why i didn’t saw Cedrick this days.
Father would come and sit for a moment, before leaving me alone again as I didn’t spoke to him for the past three days.
Brother Dominic was the same, and his Majesty didn’t came to visit me after my outbreak again.
“Father, tell me what’s happening...”
I asked my father, who was sitting on chair beside my bed and pealing a apple for me to eat.
This is what he does everytime he comes.
Picks up a apple and slowly peals it to kill time, then leave after cutting it for me to eat.
His hands paused as he got lost in thought.
Maybe thinking either he should tell me this or not.
“For god sake, why do you people always hide things from me and then i end up knowing that in the impossibly worst way?”
“...Duke Raven is caught for treason.”
“!!!”
I looked at my father with my widened blue eyes, i was so shocked that i couldn’t even find words to speak.
Treason?
How, it’s too sudden.
We was at the war, it’s possible for Duke Raven to plot treason but how did that man could get caught.
He is like a snake afterall, hard to catch.
.....
I tried every possible meaning to find out something on him in my both and present life, but not a single details of his misdeeds got in my hands.
And if he is caught then... What about Rick?
As the son of the traitor, he would be executed for sure... Along with his whole family.
Is the past, where the Dalton Duchy fall changed into Raven Duchy?
So, Now, Cedrick will be executed instead of me?
The dim lights in my room and along with the bright moonlight coming in through the window wasn’t enough for my eyes to see anything clearly.
Cedrick, my friend.
Even if he was that man’s son, he was nothing like that man.
He was kind and helpful.
He was so kind that he couldn’t even kill an animal, let alone any man even if they were enemies.
My first conflict with Cedrick was about this, during the battle of Dark Lands.
He could assist us, but not kill the enemy even when they were charging at him.
But now, he can lead a whole imperial army troops.
This is how much he have changed.
And now, this great man will be executed because of someone else’s sin...
I have to watch my dear friend being executed.
“I know why you hate her... Elee,”
Father finally decided to speak after a long silent and i looked at him with surprise.
He shouldn’t know about the past, then what’s he talking about?
This is what i thought till i heard his next words.
“You don’t hate your friend Liana or the daughter of Duke Raven. Whom you hate is... Queen Jennifer, Right?”
My heart skipped a beat as i looked at my father’s face which hanged low and slowly looked up at mine.
“Father knows it all, Elee...”
A painful smile appeared on his face as he looked at me with sympathy.
His current face reminded me of the man in prison.
Who looked at me this same way, before i headed towards the trial grounds.
That silver haired man with haggard condition.
No...
This can’t happen...
I don’t want him to know about my past...
I don’t want to see this sympathy.. I don’t want him to know how pathetic i was...
I don’t want him to know why i tried so hard to change in this life...
Tears rushed out from my eyes once again as i whispered to him lowly.
“No... It’s not true... No”
“Elee... We did it to protect you...”
Father tried to turn me to face him. But i couldn’t.
He remembered our past...
He must have looked at me like a pathetic fool, who still craved for his love and attention.
Why am i like this?
Why do i always want people to treat me with the same love and concern i feel for them?
I am terrible at expressing myself, but this time, father taught me to open myself up to people.
All of them taught me how to adapt and live.
Was i that weak and pathetic in their eyes?
All of them hide things from me... In the name of protecting me.
“Was it fun to see me struggling... trying to adapt in this whole new present life?”
“Was i really that weak?”
“You all watched me escape from the past... Like a fool and believe you all, Why?”
Father pulled me in his embrace as a tear drop left his eyes too.
“You was never weak, Elee.. But i didn’t wanted to see you suffer more, i didn’t wanted you to get involved in this, i just wanted to see you happy in this life..”
“Everytime i watched you to struggle... I blamed myself for failing as a father. You was like that because i couldn’t complete my duties properly...”
“I was so lost after failing to protect your mother that i neglected your mental health and emotions.”
“I couldn’t face you as whenever i saw your face, it reminded me how i failed to protect your mother.”
“I should have known that it was not only me who lost someone, there was still my daughter who lost her mother... ”
“I kept pushing you away and hide from you... But when i realized that i was wrong, you didn’t needed me anymore...”
“You learned how to eat and sleep by yourself, you didn’t rushed to me anymore whenever i came back home from my work... You didn’t urged me to help you learn swordmanship anymore...”
“You had already found someone else... And no longer looked out for me...”
“I couldn’t see you like that, i couldn’t bear to see our empty yard; where you no longer stood to greet me. That home didn’t felt like home anymore after you left... Thus i left for the borders...”
“When i learned about you situation, i came back to take you away; but seeing how happy you was despite living in that kind of situation made me blame myself.”
“You still loved him, this empire, and the people... You was the perfect daughter and empress... But i just wanted to see my clumsily Elee, who used to say that her name is ‘Papa’s Princess’,”
“By the time i regretted, you really no longer needed me to help you walk... You stood above everyone with your abilities, turned into someone whom i couldn’t even recognise.”
“I didn’t wanted to see you like that again... I didn’t wanted to call you ‘Her Majesty’ ever again... I didn’t wanted you to become the empress.”
“I tried every meaning in this life to keep you attached to me shamelessly... Even if i knew that i was taking advantage of your feelings... You was never pathetic or weak... It was me,”
“I shamelessly made you call me ‘daddy’ like you used to call me before, i didn’t wanted to see you with him... So i personally requested for an annulment infront of everyone, right after i returned from the border inception.”
“Am sorry... Father is sorry... I just wanted to see you live peacefully this time... I didn’t mean to hide it from you... I was afraid that you wouldn’t accept me if you knew that i also remembered the past.”
“I didn’t wanted to see you lose yourself in this political scheme and lose your youth again..”
“Please, forgive me... Please...”
In the whole time, i couldn’t utter a word from my mouth and kept sobbing with him.
Why did i never realised that he loved me so much?
Please report us if you find any errors so we can fix it asap!
195 [Bonus chapter] “Alexander’s Regrets”
[So guys... Here comes a long bonus chapter. Hope you all will like it ^_^ and thanks @diavla for your ice cola]
Eleanora’s POV~
(1 month later, In the imperial palace)
My eyes twitched as i felt the bright light falling on my face and frowned.
My head felt dizzy and my whole body felt too heavy to move.
But i still tried to open my eyes.
“Eleee!! Are you awake?!”
I heard my father’s concerned voice even before i could open my eyes properly or get the strength to speak.
“F-Father...”
.....
“Take it easy, Don’t rush...”
Father helped me to sat up and at the same time, someone else came in the room.
“ELEE?!”
Brother Dom also came in the room and behind him, i saw a tall figure standing outside.
Not daring to enter.
“How are you feeling?!”
Brother Dom asked as he tried to hold my hands but took them back.
“Did you all knew it?”
I asked coldly.
The three man in the room immediately became surprised because of my question but none of them dared to answer.
Which made my face darker and i decided to ask one more time.
“Did you all knew that priestess Liana was... Jennifer Raven?”
And as i had expected, there silence gave me the answer.
I snorted as i realised how they had once again played me, made me a complete fool and i... Believed them.
I reached out to the girl who caused all my misfortunes, who had snatched away my everything.
Even if that was in the past and she did nothing wrong in this life... But they all lied to me.
I had once again been betrayed by the people i loved and trusted.
First, it was his majesty.
I could hardly even accept him being Ain, but in the end, i accepted this fact.
“Was it fun to mess with my feelings?”
“Elee... It’s not like that, brother can explain-”
“Please, leave... I don’t wanna see you!”
Brother Dom’s hurtful face made me feel pain in my heart to treat him like that but i can’t help it.
He lied to me...
I know, he doesn’t know what happened between us in the past; but still he knew it and didn’t told me.
Even his majesty and father... They both protected her and helped to conceal her identity!
No wonder i never found out about this...
No wonder her caramel brown eyes always felt familiar... This is why she used to hide her face...
I was such a fool.
I craved for a friend and someone’s support and love so badly that i feel like a damn cheap person.
A cheap person who can do anything to get love and attention.
My heart feels like it’s twitching and someone is cutting it with a sharp sword.
I could keep my consciousness even with a sword pierced into my chest, but the fact of them be the same person made me so shocked that i lost my conscious.
“Elee, Calm down...”
Father also tried to comfort me but i yanked away his hands as i picked up a pillow to hit brother Dom.
“GO AWAY, YOU ALL ARE LIARS!!!”
“DID YOU ENJOYED SEEING ME LIKE THAT?!”
“BELIEVEING YOU ALL LIKE FOOL?”
“I DON’T WANNA SEE ANY OF YOU!!!”
“LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”
I roared at them as i cried like a mad person.
Everytime i start to think that am different from the past, something happens which makes me feel worse then i was.
I ran my fingertips inside of my head in frustration as i sensed their concerned and guilty gaze.
Which made feel more bad.
“...Why... Why you all did this to me?”
I whispered in a low voice as i felt terrible.
“Please...leave me alone,”
The three of them looked reluctant, specially my father but in the end, they just decided to leave.
In the whole time, His majesty didn’t spoken a word. He should have known why i hated this fact so much.
He knows what he did to me together with Jennifer, in our past life...
Why does it always happens to me?
Can i never be happy?
…
Three days past like that and i started to get some news from the maids who kept attending my needs.
Although they don’t share much, but i can gasp the situation a little by it.
Seems like Raven Duchy is in turmoil, this must be why i didn’t saw Cedrick this days.
Father would come and sit for a moment, before leaving me alone again as I didn’t spoke to him for the past three days.
Brother Dominic was the same, and his Majesty didn’t came to visit me after my outbreak again.
“Father, tell me what’s happening...”
I asked my father, who was sitting on chair beside my bed and pealing a apple for me to eat.
This is what he does everytime he comes.
Picks up a apple and slowly peals it to kill time, then leave after cutting it for me to eat.
His hands paused as he got lost in thought.
Maybe thinking either he should tell me this or not.
“For god sake, why do you people always hide things from me and then i end up knowing that in the impossibly worst way?”
“...Duke Raven is caught for treason.”
“!!!”
I looked at my father with my widened blue eyes, i was so shocked that i couldn’t even find words to speak.
Treason?
How, it’s too sudden.
We was at the war, it’s possible for Duke Raven to plot treason but how did that man could get caught.
He is like a snake afterall, hard to catch.
.....
I tried every possible meaning to find out something on him in my both and present life, but not a single details of his misdeeds got in my hands.
And if he is caught then... What about Rick?
As the son of the traitor, he would be executed for sure... Along with his whole family.
Is the past, where the Dalton Duchy fall changed into Raven Duchy?
So, Now, Cedrick will be executed instead of me?
The dim lights in my room and along with the bright moonlight coming in through the window wasn’t enough for my eyes to see anything clearly.
Cedrick, my friend.
Even if he was that man’s son, he was nothing like that man.
He was kind and helpful.
He was so kind that he couldn’t even kill an animal, let alone any man even if they were enemies.
My first conflict with Cedrick was about this, during the battle of Dark Lands.
He could assist us, but not kill the enemy even when they were charging at him.
But now, he can lead a whole imperial army troops.
This is how much he have changed.
And now, this great man will be executed because of someone else’s sin...
I have to watch my dear friend being executed.
“I know why you hate her... Elee,”
Father finally decided to speak after a long silent and i looked at him with surprise.
He shouldn’t know about the past, then what’s he talking about?
This is what i thought till i heard his next words.
“You don’t hate your friend Liana or the daughter of Duke Raven. Whom you hate is... Queen Jennifer, Right?”
My heart skipped a beat as i looked at my father’s face which hanged low and slowly looked up at mine.
“Father knows it all, Elee...”
A painful smile appeared on his face as he looked at me with sympathy.
His current face reminded me of the man in prison.
Who looked at me this same way, before i headed towards the trial grounds.
That silver haired man with haggard condition.
No...
This can’t happen...
I don’t want him to know about my past...
I don’t want to see this sympathy.. I don’t want him to know how pathetic i was...
I don’t want him to know why i tried so hard to change in this life...
Tears rushed out from my eyes once again as i whispered to him lowly.
“No... It’s not true... No”
“Elee... We did it to protect you...”
Father tried to turn me to face him. But i couldn’t.
He remembered our past...
He must have looked at me like a pathetic fool, who still craved for his love and attention.
Why am i like this?
Why do i always want people to treat me with the same love and concern i feel for them?
I am terrible at expressing myself, but this time, father taught me to open myself up to people.
All of them taught me how to adapt and live.
Was i that weak and pathetic in their eyes?
All of them hide things from me... In the name of protecting me.
“Was it fun to see me struggling... trying to adapt in this whole new present life?”
“Was i really that weak?”
“You all watched me escape from the past... Like a fool and believe you all, Why?”
Father pulled me in his embrace as a tear drop left his eyes too.
“You was never weak, Elee.. But i didn’t wanted to see you suffer more, i didn’t wanted you to get involved in this, i just wanted to see you happy in this life..”
“Everytime i watched you to struggle... I blamed myself for failing as a father. You was like that because i couldn’t complete my duties properly...”
“I was so lost after failing to protect your mother that i neglected your mental health and emotions.”
“I couldn’t face you as whenever i saw your face, it reminded me how i failed to protect your mother.”
“I should have known that it was not only me who lost someone, there was still my daughter who lost her mother... ”
“I kept pushing you away and hide from you... But when i realized that i was wrong, you didn’t needed me anymore...”
“You learned how to eat and sleep by yourself, you didn’t rushed to me anymore whenever i came back home from my work... You didn’t urged me to help you learn swordmanship anymore...”
“You had already found someone else... And no longer looked out for me...”
“I couldn’t see you like that, i couldn’t bear to see our empty yard; where you no longer stood to greet me. That home didn’t felt like home anymore after you left... Thus i left for the borders...”
“When i learned about you situation, i came back to take you away; but seeing how happy you was despite living in that kind of situation made me blame myself.”
“You still loved him, this empire, and the people... You was the perfect daughter and empress... But i just wanted to see my clumsily Elee, who used to say that her name is ‘Papa’s Princess’,”
“By the time i regretted, you really no longer needed me to help you walk... You stood above everyone with your abilities, turned into someone whom i couldn’t even recognise.”
“I didn’t wanted to see you like that again... I didn’t wanted to call you ‘Her Majesty’ ever again... I didn’t wanted you to become the empress.”
“I tried every meaning in this life to keep you attached to me shamelessly... Even if i knew that i was taking advantage of your feelings... You was never pathetic or weak... It was me,”
“I shamelessly made you call me ‘daddy’ like you used to call me before, i didn’t wanted to see you with him... So i personally requested for an annulment infront of everyone, right after i returned from the border inception.”
“Am sorry... Father is sorry... I just wanted to see you live peacefully this time... I didn’t mean to hide it from you... I was afraid that you wouldn’t accept me if you knew that i also remembered the past.”
“I didn’t wanted to see you lose yourself in this political scheme and lose your youth again..”
“Please, forgive me... Please...”
In the whole time, i couldn’t utter a word from my mouth and kept sobbing with him.
Why did i never realised that he loved me so much?
195 Bonus chapter Alexander's RegretsSo guys... Here comes a long bonus chapter. Hope you all will like it ^_^ and thanks @diavla for your ice colaEleanora's POV~1 month later, In the imperial palaceMy eyes twitched as i felt the bright light falling on my face and frowned.My head felt dizzy and my whole body felt too heavy to move.But i still tried to open my eyes.Eleee!! Are you awake?!I heard my father's concerned voice even before i could open my eyes properly or get the strength to speak.F-Father........Take it easy, Don't rush...Father helped me to sat up and at the same time, someone else came in the room.ELEE?!Brother Dom also came in the room and behind him, i saw a tall figure standing outside.Not daring to enter.How are you feeling?!Brother Dom asked as he tried to hold my hands but took them back.Did you all knew it?I asked coldly.The three man in the room immediately became surprised because of my question but none of them dared to answer.Which made my face darker and i decided to ask one more time.Did you all knew that priestess Liana was... Jennifer Raven?And as i had expected, there silence gave me the answer.I snorted as i realised how they had once again played me, made me a complete fool and i... Believed them.I reached out to the girl who caused all my misfortunes, who had snatched away my everything.Even if that was in the past and she did nothing wrong in this life... But they all lied to me.I had once again been betrayed by the people i loved and trusted.First, it was his majesty.I could hardly even accept him being Ain, but in the end, i accepted this fact.Was it fun to mess with my feelings?Elee... It's not like that, brother can explain-Please, leave... I don't wanna see you!Brother Dom's hurtful face made me feel pain in my heart to treat him like that but i can't help it.He lied to me...I know, he doesn't know what happened between us in the past; but still he knew it and didn't told me.Even his majesty and father... They both protected her and helped to conceal her identity!No wonder i never found out about this...No wonder her caramel brown eyes always felt familiar... This is why she used to hide her face...I was such a fool.I craved for a friend and someone's support and love so badly that i feel like a damn cheap person.A cheap person who can do anything to get love and attention.My heart feels like it's twitching and someone is cutting it with a sharp sword.I could keep my consciousness even with a sword pierced into my chest, but the fact of them be the same person made me so shocked that i lost my conscious.Elee, Calm down...Father also tried to comfort me but i yanked away his hands as i picked up a pillow to hit brother Dom.GO AWAY, YOU ALL ARE LIARS!!!DID YOU ENJOYED SEEING ME LIKE THAT?!BELIEVEING YOU ALL LIKE FOOL?I DON'T WANNA SEE ANY OF YOU!!!LEAVE ME ALONE!!!I roared at them as i cried like a mad person.Everytime i start to think that am different from the past, something happens which makes me feel worse then i was.I ran my fingertips inside of my head in frustration as i sensed their concerned and guilty gaze.Which made feel more bad....Why... Why you all did this to me?I whispered in a low voice as i felt terrible.Please...leave me alone,The three of them looked reluctant, specially my father but in the end, they just decided to leave.In the whole time, His majesty didn't spoken a word. He should have known why i hated this fact so much.He knows what he did to me together with Jennifer, in our past life...Why does it always happens to me?Can i never be happy?Three days past like that and i started to get some news from the maids who kept attending my needs.Although they don't share much, but i can gasp the situation a little by it.Seems like Raven Duchy is in turmoil, this must be why i didn't saw Cedrick this days.Father would come and sit for a moment, before leaving me alone again as I didn't spoke to him for the past three days.Brother Dominic was the same, and his Majesty didn't came to visit me after my outbreak again.Father, tell me what's happening...I asked my father, who was sitting on chair beside my bed and pealing a apple for me to eat.This is what he does everytime he comes.Picks up a apple and slowly peals it to kill time, then leave after cutting it for me to eat.His hands paused as he got lost in thought.Maybe thinking either he should tell me this or not.For god sake, why do you people always hide things from me and then i end up knowing that in the impossibly worst way?...Duke Raven is caught for treason.!!!I looked at my father with my widened blue eyes, i was so shocked that i couldn't even find words to speak.Treason?How, it's too sudden.We was at the war, it's possible for Duke Raven to plot treason but how did that man could get caught.He is like a snake afterall, hard to catch......I tried every possible meaning to find out something on him in my both and present life, but not a single details of his misdeeds got in my hands.And if he is caught then... What about Rick?As the son of the traitor, he would be executed for sure... Along with his whole family.Is the past, where the Dalton Duchy fall changed into Raven Duchy?So, Now, Cedrick will be executed instead of me?The dim lights in my room and along with the bright moonlight coming in through the window wasn't enough for my eyes to see anything clearly.Cedrick, my friend.Even if he was that man's son, he was nothing like that man.He was kind and helpful.He was so kind that he couldn't even kill an animal, let alone any man even if they were enemies.My first conflict with Cedrick was about this, during the battle of Dark Lands.He could assist us, but not kill the enemy even when they were charging at him.But now, he can lead a whole imperial army troops.This is how much he have changed.And now, this great man will be executed because of someone else's sin...I have to watch my dear friend being executed.I know why you hate her... Elee,Father finally decided to speak after a long silent and i looked at him with surprise.He shouldn't know about the past, then what's he talking about? This is what i thought till i heard his next words.You don't hate your friend Liana or the daughter of Duke Raven. Whom you hate is... Queen Jennifer, Right?My heart skipped a beat as i looked at my father's face which hanged low and slowly looked up at mine.Father knows it all, Elee...A painful smile appeared on his face as he looked at me with sympathy.His current face reminded me of the man in prison.Who looked at me this same way, before i headed towards the trial grounds.That silver haired man with haggard condition.No...This can't happen...I don't want him to know about my past...I don't want to see this sympathy.. I don't want him to know how pathetic i was...I don't want him to know why i tried so hard to change in this life...Tears rushed out from my eyes once again as i whispered to him lowly.No... It's not true... NoElee... We did it to protect you...Father tried to turn me to face him. But i couldn't.He remembered our past...He must have looked at me like a pathetic fool, who still craved for his love and attention.Why am i like this?Why do i always want people to treat me with the same love and concern i feel for them?I am terrible at expressing myself, but this time, father taught me to open myself up to people.All of them taught me how to adapt and live.Was i that weak and pathetic in their eyes?All of them hide things from me... In the name of protecting me.Was it fun to see me struggling... trying to adapt in this whole new present life?Was i really that weak?You all watched me escape from the past... Like a fool and believe you all, Why?Father pulled me in his embrace as a tear drop left his eyes too.You was never weak, Elee.. But i didn't wanted to see you suffer more, i didn't wanted you to get involved in this, i just wanted to see you happy in this life..Everytime i watched you to struggle... I blamed myself for failing as a father. You was like that because i couldn't complete my duties properly...I was so lost after failing to protect your mother that i neglected your mental health and emotions.I couldn't face you as whenever i saw your face, it reminded me how i failed to protect your mother.I should have known that it was not only me who lost someone, there was still my daughter who lost her mother... I kept pushing you away and hide from you... But when i realized that i was wrong, you didn't needed me anymore...You learned how to eat and sleep by yourself, you didn't rushed to me anymore whenever i came back home from my work... You didn't urged me to help you learn swordmanship anymore...You had already found someone else... And no longer looked out for me...I couldn't see you like that, i couldn't bear to see our empty yard; where you no longer stood to greet me. That home didn't felt like home anymore after you left... Thus i left for the borders...When i learned about you situation, i came back to take you away; but seeing how happy you was despite living in that kind of situation made me blame myself.You still loved him, this empire, and the people... You was the perfect daughter and empress... But i just wanted to see my clumsily Elee, who used to say that her name is Papa's Princess',By the time i regretted, you really no longer needed me to help you walk... You stood above everyone with your abilities, turned into someone whom i couldn't even recognise.I didn't wanted to see you like that again... I didn't wanted to call you Her Majesty' ever again... I didn't wanted you to become the empress.I tried every meaning in this life to keep you attached to me shamelessly... Even if i knew that i was taking advantage of your feelings... You was never pathetic or weak... It was me,I shamelessly made you call me daddy' like you used to call me before, i didn't wanted to see you with him... So i personally requested for an annulment infront of everyone, right after i returned from the border inception.Am sorry... Father is sorry... I just wanted to see you live peacefully this time... I didn't mean to hide it from you... I was afraid that you wouldn't accept me if you knew that i also remembered the past.I didn't wanted to see you lose yourself in this political scheme and lose your youth again..Please, forgive me... Please...In the whole time, i couldn't utter a word from my mouth and kept sobbing with him.Why did i never realised that he loved me so much?
