“Stop mumbling awkwardly and apologize quickly.”
Tessa gestured towards Kamian with a tilt of her chin. Around him, a group of college students had gathered, forming a noisy crowd. I wondered what they were talking about. The undergraduates chattered away, not so much engaging in a conversation as observing Kamian’s every move. Their desire to get closer to him was palpable. I was curious to see what expression Kamian would wear amidst their company. I imagined him wearing an indifferent facade, his black nape exposed as he looked straight ahead.
“Stop glaring and apologize,” Tessa said.
“…I wasn’t glaring,” I replied.
“Honestly, where can you find a friend like Kamian? Even if you’re just childhood friends, it’s not usual for someone to go through your entire textbook, constantly help you with assignments, and rush to the lawmaker’s office every time you collapse. If you hadn’t snapped at me, claiming you weren’t in a romantic relationship with Kamian, I almost would have believed it with all my heart.”
Having heard praises for Kamian, I felt no inspiration. Why is she praising him to me? Yet, there was one part that bothered me. I turned my head to face Tessa.
“Am I getting angry?”
Tessa let out a frustrated sigh.
“Don’t you remember? It wasn’t long after we entered school. When the kids asked if you were going to marry Kamian, you screamed and cried, saying it wasn’t true. Then you fainted. Do you know how shocked I was?”
As I listened, a faint memory resurfaced, buried in the passage of time.
It must have been around the end of our second year. The distrust towards Kamian hadn’t completely faded by then. To the children who were busy teasing me, claiming that I would get together with Kamian at the slightest touch, Tessa and I were just a source of amusement.
Although my body was that of a minor, my mind possessed the maturity of an adult, so I could easily brush off such mockery with a laugh.
However, apart from being the subject of mockery, I had a fear that the children’s playful words could become a catalyst for Kamian to realize emotions beyond our contractual relationship. Moreover, at that time, it was when I would scream all night, tormented by excruciating pain as if my body and mind were being carved out. Unable to control my incomplete body and mind, I expressed the surging emotions without restraint.
After assuring Tessa that I was by no means in such a relationship with Kamian, not long after, he approached me separately and suggested that we go to school together.
Tessa tapped my forehead lightly with her index finger.
“Losing my person just because you couldn’t even manage to apologize is a loss.”
“I understand. I will apologize.”
“However, whenever I laid eyes on that rascal’s face, the resounding echoes of yesterday’s heated breath reverberated in my ears, tormenting me ceaselessly. It was as if he effortlessly conveyed a scorching energy that I couldn’t dare ignore.”
Despite Tessa’s subtle hints, I remained silent, unable to utter a single word, let alone apologize to Kamian until all the lectures were over.
Kamian, who had stepped outside the main gate before me, stood leaning against a tree. As I approached, Kamian silently revealed their back and bent their knees. On their rigid shoulders, lilac petals rested like snowflakes. After brushing them away with a flick of their hand, Kamian straightened up without a word exchanged between us.
Business relationships need not be so rigid.
With each step I took, my body swayed to a steady rhythm. Leaning my cheek against my shoulder, I observed the scenery passing by leisurely. However, my mind was in a state of profound confusion, rendering it difficult to truly appreciate the tranquillity of nature.
To associate the vast expanse of land, infused with the scent of delicate grass and ripened autumn trees, with a wretched sculpture of a phallus that I had touched yesterday—how absurd it seemed. I truly felt a bitter taste in my mouth. Such nonsensical grumblings echoed beneath my tongue.
Oh, why must that wretched organ be so ignorantly large? I mean, mistaking me for a sculpture… it’s utterly absurd.
Blaming Kamian’s extraordinary physique for the calamity I caused yesterday would only make me look like a sulking fool.
Since I couldn’t possibly ask the devilish Kamian for absolution, apologizing was the only way to rectify yesterday’s disaster. And now was the perfect timing for it. Without looking at his face, and at a moment when no one might overhear, precisely now.
After a dry throat let out a single quiver, I simply opened my mouth.
“Regarding what happened yesterday,”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Stop mumbling awkwardly and apologize quickly.”
Tessa gestured towards Kamian with a tilt of her chin. Around him, a group of college students had gathered, forming a noisy crowd. I wondered what they were talking about. The undergraduates chattered away, not so much engaging in a conversation as observing Kamian’s every move. Their desire to get closer to him was palpable. I was curious to see what expression Kamian would wear amidst their company. I imagined him wearing an indifferent facade, his black nape exposed as he looked straight ahead.
“Stop glaring and apologize,” Tessa said.
“…I wasn’t glaring,” I replied.
“Honestly, where can you find a friend like Kamian? Even if you’re just childhood friends, it’s not usual for someone to go through your entire textbook, constantly help you with assignments, and rush to the lawmaker’s office every time you collapse. If you hadn’t snapped at me, claiming you weren’t in a romantic relationship with Kamian, I almost would have believed it with all my heart.”
Having heard praises for Kamian, I felt no inspiration. Why is she praising him to me? Yet, there was one part that bothered me. I turned my head to face Tessa.
“Am I getting angry?”
Tessa let out a frustrated sigh.
“Don’t you remember? It wasn’t long after we entered school. When the kids asked if you were going to marry Kamian, you screamed and cried, saying it wasn’t true. Then you fainted. Do you know how shocked I was?”
As I listened, a faint memory resurfaced, buried in the passage of time.
It must have been around the end of our second year. The distrust towards Kamian hadn’t completely faded by then. To the children who were busy teasing me, claiming that I would get together with Kamian at the slightest touch, Tessa and I were just a source of amusement.
Although my body was that of a minor, my mind possessed the maturity of an adult, so I could easily brush off such mockery with a laugh.
However, apart from being the subject of mockery, I had a fear that the children’s playful words could become a catalyst for Kamian to realize emotions beyond our contractual relationship. Moreover, at that time, it was when I would scream all night, tormented by excruciating pain as if my body and mind were being carved out. Unable to control my incomplete body and mind, I expressed the surging emotions without restraint.
After assuring Tessa that I was by no means in such a relationship with Kamian, not long after, he approached me separately and suggested that we go to school together.
Tessa tapped my forehead lightly with her index finger.
“Losing my person just because you couldn’t even manage to apologize is a loss.”
“I understand. I will apologize.”
“However, whenever I laid eyes on that rascal’s face, the resounding echoes of yesterday’s heated breath reverberated in my ears, tormenting me ceaselessly. It was as if he effortlessly conveyed a scorching energy that I couldn’t dare ignore.”
Despite Tessa’s subtle hints, I remained silent, unable to utter a single word, let alone apologize to Kamian until all the lectures were over.
Kamian, who had stepped outside the main gate before me, stood leaning against a tree. As I approached, Kamian silently revealed their back and bent their knees. On their rigid shoulders, lilac petals rested like snowflakes. After brushing them away with a flick of their hand, Kamian straightened up without a word exchanged between us.
Business relationships need not be so rigid.
With each step I took, my body swayed to a steady rhythm. Leaning my cheek against my shoulder, I observed the scenery passing by leisurely. However, my mind was in a state of profound confusion, rendering it difficult to truly appreciate the tranquillity of nature.
To associate the vast expanse of land, infused with the scent of delicate grass and ripened autumn trees, with a wretched sculpture of a phallus that I had touched yesterday—how absurd it seemed. I truly felt a bitter taste in my mouth. Such nonsensical grumblings echoed beneath my tongue.
Oh, why must that wretched organ be so ignorantly large? I mean, mistaking me for a sculpture… it’s utterly absurd.
Blaming Kamian’s extraordinary physique for the calamity I caused yesterday would only make me look like a sulking fool.
Since I couldn’t possibly ask the devilish Kamian for absolution, apologizing was the only way to rectify yesterday’s disaster. And now was the perfect timing for it. Without looking at his face, and at a moment when no one might overhear, precisely now.
After a dry throat let out a single quiver, I simply opened my mouth.
“Regarding what happened yesterday,”
“What are you trying to say?”
