At the sound of a slow, faint breath behind me, my clenched hand, which had been tightly gripped and prominent, loosened. The warmth of Kamian’s body, his breath, both unsettled and comforted my heart. It’s a rather amusing situation, I must say.
A foolish grin formed on my lips as I gradually drifted into the unconscious sea, lulling myself with the rhythmic beating of Kamian’s heart against my back.
[Blink] Without having dreamt a nightmare, my eyes abruptly opened. Hearing preceded vision. I heard the gentle patter of raindrops against the window and the colourful symphony of Kamian’s rhythmic breaths. It didn’t take long for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
Damn it all. I had clearly fallen asleep while gazing at the wall, yet Kamian’s exquisite eyes, nose, and mouth were suddenly within arm’s reach. By God, he had even stretched his leg over my body, wrapping his arms around me. And as if that weren’t enough, Kamian’s forearm found its way under my head, serving as a pillow. Hey, it seems like you brought the pillowcase for no reason.
Kamian, careful not to wake me, cautiously repositioned his limbs back to their original place. A familiar pain, one I had experienced several times before, constricted around my throat. It was a sign that a coughing fit was about to begin, and with it, Kamian’s inevitable mischievous behaviour.
I slowly raised my upper body without any room to spare for movement. I had to leave this bedroom quickly.
“Where are you going?”
Of course, I was grabbed by a large hand around my wrist. Kamian, with a bewildered look on his face, stood up as if surprised, following my lead.
“To the bathroom. Urgent.”
“……”
“But since I don’t want you getting wet, it would be better to let go and avoid soiling this bed.”
Kamian blinked, his face expressing confusion about the words he had just heard. The release of his grip came next.
I rushed out of the bedroom as if I were in dire need. Taking a seat in the cold corner of the bathroom, I covered my mouth with both hands.
“[Cough! Cough!]”
A cough erupted immediately. If I had left the room a little later, I would have been caught by Kamian without a moment’s hesitation.
It felt as though thousands of hooks were scratching at my organs, scraping the contents inside my throat and spewing them out. I wretched as if about to vomit, my body eventually folding forward. With one hand gripping the cold floor, I used the other to shield my mouth, preventing the sound from escaping.
The pain gripping my stomach intensified, and my throat burned as if swallowing a fiery ember. Amidst the incessant coughing, my vision blurred. With a thud, a hot substance, accompanied by the rough cough, spewed out of my mouth. Between my fingers, a crimson droplet fell to the ground.
There was no time to be surprised by the sudden hemoptysis. The pain was too intense, and all I could hope for was an end to this coughing fit as soon as possible.
“Liv?”
I turned reflexively and glanced back. The bathroom door, which had been tightly shut, was now wide open, revealing Sherry standing on the other side, wiping one eye.
Sherry’s pupils dilated with astonishment. Her small mouth fell open, and her face contorted with terror.
“Sherry, wait… ahem!”
Once again, blood spurted out. I tried my best to hold back the cough, not wanting to frighten Sherry any further, but it persisted.
Sherry stood frozen in place, unable to blink her eyes. Tears welled up in her large, expressive pupils.
Before Sherry could burst into tears, thankfully, the seemingly eternal coughing subsided gradually. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and struggled to stand up. However, my weakened legs refused to cooperate, swaying unsteadily. They were utterly unreliable. Eventually, my knees buckled.
As my knees hit the ground, a rather dull thud echoed, but I paid it no mind. I took tentative steps towards Sherry.
“Sherry, you were startled. I apologize.”
“Hmm… Liv.”
“However, it’s not as serious as it seems. You’ll feel better after a good sigh and some rest.”
“[Blood, blood]”
I quickly covered my mouth with my forearm.
“Can you promise me something, Sherry?”
“Hmm…”
“Promise me you’ll keep it a secret from Kamian that I was coughing. It’s nothing to worry about, but I don’t want him to be unnecessarily concerned.”
“But…”
“You’ll keep it a secret, won’t you, Sherry? I’m asking you this favour.”
Sherry nodded with a tearful face. If her hands hadn’t been stained with blood, I would have wiped her tears and caressed her head. But with blood staining her lips, I couldn’t even smile at her, only expressing my gratitude with words.
“Just wait a moment. I’ll quickly clean the blood off.”
Despite my still trembling legs, I rose with determination, pouring water into a basin and wiping away the bloodstains. Fortunately, the water washed it away easily in one go. Then I washed my face with cold water, noticing that my fingertips had turned reddish.
“Use the restroom. Should I wait for you outside if you’re scared?”
“…Yes.”
Resolutely, Sherry sniffled, overcoming her tears. I acknowledged her response and closed the bathroom door.
“Haah…”
Leaning against the bathroom door, I slid down slowly. It felt as if all my strength had been drained from me. The pain had dulled my mind, but now it finally allowed me to think.
The cough that I had dismissed as inconsequential worsened as the days went by, and today it even brought blood. Instinctively, I realized that my remaining days were numbered. Knowing the moment of my own death didn’t seem to hold much merit. I should have noticed it when I saw my muscles, despite regular exercise, stubbornly refusing to grow. How futile I had been.
Just as Kamian had harboured feelings for me according to the predetermined course, my death, too, was unable to overcome the power of fate.
“….”
It was a dreadful feeling. I wiped my face with a cold, trembling hand. My nose tingled, and my eyes welled up with heat.
Death… it’s so terrifying.
At the sound of a slow, faint breath behind me, my clenched hand, which had been tightly gripped and prominent, loosened. The warmth of Kamian’s body, his breath, both unsettled and comforted my heart. It’s a rather amusing situation, I must say.
A foolish grin formed on my lips as I gradually drifted into the unconscious sea, lulling myself with the rhythmic beating of Kamian’s heart against my back.
[Blink] Without having dreamt a nightmare, my eyes abruptly opened. Hearing preceded vision. I heard the gentle patter of raindrops against the window and the colourful symphony of Kamian’s rhythmic breaths. It didn’t take long for my eyes to adjust to the darkness.
Damn it all. I had clearly fallen asleep while gazing at the wall, yet Kamian’s exquisite eyes, nose, and mouth were suddenly within arm’s reach. By God, he had even stretched his leg over my body, wrapping his arms around me. And as if that weren’t enough, Kamian’s forearm found its way under my head, serving as a pillow. Hey, it seems like you brought the pillowcase for no reason.
Kamian, careful not to wake me, cautiously repositioned his limbs back to their original place. A familiar pain, one I had experienced several times before, constricted around my throat. It was a sign that a coughing fit was about to begin, and with it, Kamian’s inevitable mischievous behaviour.
I slowly raised my upper body without any room to spare for movement. I had to leave this bedroom quickly.
“Where are you going?”
Of course, I was grabbed by a large hand around my wrist. Kamian, with a bewildered look on his face, stood up as if surprised, following my lead.
“To the bathroom. Urgent.”
“……”
“But since I don’t want you getting wet, it would be better to let go and avoid soiling this bed.”
Kamian blinked, his face expressing confusion about the words he had just heard. The release of his grip came next.
I rushed out of the bedroom as if I were in dire need. Taking a seat in the cold corner of the bathroom, I covered my mouth with both hands.
“[Cough! Cough!]”
A cough erupted immediately. If I had left the room a little later, I would have been caught by Kamian without a moment’s hesitation.
It felt as though thousands of hooks were scratching at my organs, scraping the contents inside my throat and spewing them out. I wretched as if about to vomit, my body eventually folding forward. With one hand gripping the cold floor, I used the other to shield my mouth, preventing the sound from escaping.
The pain gripping my stomach intensified, and my throat burned as if swallowing a fiery ember. Amidst the incessant coughing, my vision blurred. With a thud, a hot substance, accompanied by the rough cough, spewed out of my mouth. Between my fingers, a crimson droplet fell to the ground.
There was no time to be surprised by the sudden hemoptysis. The pain was too intense, and all I could hope for was an end to this coughing fit as soon as possible.
“Liv?”
I turned reflexively and glanced back. The bathroom door, which had been tightly shut, was now wide open, revealing Sherry standing on the other side, wiping one eye.
Sherry’s pupils dilated with astonishment. Her small mouth fell open, and her face contorted with terror.
“Sherry, wait… ahem!”
Once again, blood spurted out. I tried my best to hold back the cough, not wanting to frighten Sherry any further, but it persisted.
Sherry stood frozen in place, unable to blink her eyes. Tears welled up in her large, expressive pupils.
Before Sherry could burst into tears, thankfully, the seemingly eternal coughing subsided gradually. I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and struggled to stand up. However, my weakened legs refused to cooperate, swaying unsteadily. They were utterly unreliable. Eventually, my knees buckled.
As my knees hit the ground, a rather dull thud echoed, but I paid it no mind. I took tentative steps towards Sherry.
“Sherry, you were startled. I apologize.”
“Hmm… Liv.”
“However, it’s not as serious as it seems. You’ll feel better after a good sigh and some rest.”
“[Blood, blood]”
I quickly covered my mouth with my forearm.
“Can you promise me something, Sherry?”
“Hmm…”
“Promise me you’ll keep it a secret from Kamian that I was coughing. It’s nothing to worry about, but I don’t want him to be unnecessarily concerned.”
“But…”
“You’ll keep it a secret, won’t you, Sherry? I’m asking you this favour.”
Sherry nodded with a tearful face. If her hands hadn’t been stained with blood, I would have wiped her tears and caressed her head. But with blood staining her lips, I couldn’t even smile at her, only expressing my gratitude with words.
“Just wait a moment. I’ll quickly clean the blood off.”
Despite my still trembling legs, I rose with determination, pouring water into a basin and wiping away the bloodstains. Fortunately, the water washed it away easily in one go. Then I washed my face with cold water, noticing that my fingertips had turned reddish.
“Use the restroom. Should I wait for you outside if you’re scared?”
“…Yes.”
Resolutely, Sherry sniffled, overcoming her tears. I acknowledged her response and closed the bathroom door.
“Haah…”
Leaning against the bathroom door, I slid down slowly. It felt as if all my strength had been drained from me. The pain had dulled my mind, but now it finally allowed me to think.
The cough that I had dismissed as inconsequential worsened as the days went by, and today it even brought blood. Instinctively, I realized that my remaining days were numbered. Knowing the moment of my own death didn’t seem to hold much merit. I should have noticed it when I saw my muscles, despite regular exercise, stubbornly refusing to grow. How futile I had been.
Just as Kamian had harboured feelings for me according to the predetermined course, my death, too, was unable to overcome the power of fate.
“….”
It was a dreadful feeling. I wiped my face with a cold, trembling hand. My nose tingled, and my eyes welled up with heat.
Death… it’s so terrifying.
