“I had to go out to hang out with Tom for a bit. I don’t plan on staying out for long.”
“Oh, really? Then hurry back. We’re busy.”
Kamian rested his arm on my shoulder, as if to say to Leo, ‘You can’t do this, only I can.’ His childish behaviour made my face contort.
“Kamian, sorry, but could you give me a moment?”
“No.”
Leo sighed softly. He seemed a bit annoyed. Leo looked at me with a face that seemed to say he couldn’t do anything about it. Kamian’s intention was to ignore him.
“Liv, if it’s alright… I hope you can spare some time for me tomorrow. It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to explore the town with you, show you around…”
While Leo was talking, his big hand gently rested on my shoulder. His words didn’t properly register in my ears due to that touch. Let go a bit. When I turned my shoulder sharply to remove Kamian’s arm, Leo’s lips twitched. However, they stiffened again at Kamian’s subsequent words.
“Sorry, Liv, I don’t have time tomorrow.”
Who are you to say that? I couldn’t believe it, so a hollow laugh escaped me. In fact, if you look closely, I was someone with an abundance of time. The academy was on vacation, harvest season was over, and I wasn’t studying for the future or going anywhere on a trip. Time was just flowing by.
Leo looked at me as if questioning whether Kamian’s words were true.
“No, I’m free.”
“Liv.”
In response to his calling voice, I turned my head and looked at Kamian. It was a face full of dissatisfaction. I kept that face in my sight for a long time and then spoke firmly.
“What time should we meet tomorrow?”
Leo’s face lit up with joy. Kamian, standing beside him, consciously avoided looking.
“I’ll come to your house tomorrow at noon.”
“Okay.”
“Well then… see you tomorrow, Liv.”
As I nodded my head, a smile spread across Leo’s face. He waved his hand in farewell and walked away cheerfully. When Leo had moved a little farther, I turned my foot to continue the unfinished exercise.
“I’m going too.”
As expected. Kamian was saying something nonsensical again.
“Don’t you have any sense? Why are you tagging along on our date?”
At the mention of a date, he burst into a triumphant laugh. As if he had heard something he shouldn’t have.
“A date?”
“Why not? Can’t I go on a date?”
“Is taking a simple stroll together considered a date? Then, I suppose you’re dating me every day.”
“Are you comparing me to Leo?”
“Obviously, we’re different. How can I be the same as that jerk?”
Silence ensued, rendering our conversation utterly futile. The disparity in our perspectives, Kamian’s and mine, was glaring. While I regarded Kamian purely as a friend and spoke to him as such, he saw himself as a special presence to me.
“Just go home. I want to exercise alone today.”
Upon hearing the suggestion to go home, Kamian fell silent.
“Go. It’s pointless to exercise while arguing with you.”
Kamian seemed overwhelmed by my words. I didn’t expect him to actually go home. I simply wanted to swiftly bring this situation to an end.
Perhaps Kamian deemed it more important for me to finish my workout unscathed than to continue our date. For this moment, he chose to keep his mouth shut.
* * *
Leo did not ask me out of affection. My heart had grown too discerning, responding only to faces as captivating as Kamian’s.
However, the reason I accepted Leo’s date request was twofold: because of Kamian, and because of myself. Ever since I became aware of my feelings, anything related to Kamian stirred an unusual emotional response within me. Perhaps Kamian noticed this change, as he began to reveal the obsessions he had kept hidden.
Such a transformation is not favourable. Truly.
We need a turning point. Something that can completely sever our indescribable, subtle connection.
I apologize to Leo, but if he were to confess his feelings, I would be willing to start a relationship. Wouldn’t that make the dynamics between Kamian and me slightly clearer?
Smart.
The knock on the door sent a chilling shiver down my spine as it swung open. Lying on the bed, I nervously covered myself with the blanket.
“If you’re going to barge in without waiting for a response, don’t bother knocking.”
“I won’t knock.”
“I wasn’t telling you not to knock!”
Drenching the blanket, I exclaimed, and Kamian shrugged her shoulders. Then she closed the door again. A resounding knock once more ignited a flame of irritation. As I stared intently at the door, I heard the sound of the knock again.
“Can I come in?”
“Ah!”
As soon as the door opened, I threw a pillow. Thud. However, it missed Kamian and barely made it off the bed, lifelessly falling to the floor. Why does it always end up like this?
As if anticipating it, Kamian picked up the pillow and casually shook it. Then she placed it near my head.
“If you’re going to say we shouldn’t go on a date, then leave.”
Embarrassingly, my pointing finger directed toward the door, Kamian pulled over a chair. She sat down, resting her arms on the backrest.
“Do you like Leo?”
“I’m interested.”
“Since when?”
“It’s none of your business. Leave.”
Leaning her face on her upturned palms, Kamian tilted her head. Ah, that expression again. The one that seems to penetrate my innermost being. I bit my lip, torturing my teeth. It felt as though my secret would be exposed.
“What about me then?”
He asked in a low voice.
“Am I just someone to have s*x with?”
To soothe my parched throat, I swallowed down the saliva. And I made an effort not to show any wavering, as I opened my mouth.
“What more do you need beyond that?”
“……”
“I had to go out to hang out with Tom for a bit. I don’t plan on staying out for long.”
“Oh, really? Then hurry back. We’re busy.”
Kamian rested his arm on my shoulder, as if to say to Leo, ‘You can’t do this, only I can.’ His childish behaviour made my face contort.
“Kamian, sorry, but could you give me a moment?”
“No.”
Leo sighed softly. He seemed a bit annoyed. Leo looked at me with a face that seemed to say he couldn’t do anything about it. Kamian’s intention was to ignore him.
“Liv, if it’s alright… I hope you can spare some time for me tomorrow. It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to explore the town with you, show you around…”
While Leo was talking, his big hand gently rested on my shoulder. His words didn’t properly register in my ears due to that touch. Let go a bit. When I turned my shoulder sharply to remove Kamian’s arm, Leo’s lips twitched. However, they stiffened again at Kamian’s subsequent words.
“Sorry, Liv, I don’t have time tomorrow.”
Who are you to say that? I couldn’t believe it, so a hollow laugh escaped me. In fact, if you look closely, I was someone with an abundance of time. The academy was on vacation, harvest season was over, and I wasn’t studying for the future or going anywhere on a trip. Time was just flowing by.
Leo looked at me as if questioning whether Kamian’s words were true.
“No, I’m free.”
“Liv.”
In response to his calling voice, I turned my head and looked at Kamian. It was a face full of dissatisfaction. I kept that face in my sight for a long time and then spoke firmly.
“What time should we meet tomorrow?”
Leo’s face lit up with joy. Kamian, standing beside him, consciously avoided looking.
“I’ll come to your house tomorrow at noon.”
“Okay.”
“Well then… see you tomorrow, Liv.”
As I nodded my head, a smile spread across Leo’s face. He waved his hand in farewell and walked away cheerfully. When Leo had moved a little farther, I turned my foot to continue the unfinished exercise.
“I’m going too.”
As expected. Kamian was saying something nonsensical again.
“Don’t you have any sense? Why are you tagging along on our date?”
At the mention of a date, he burst into a triumphant laugh. As if he had heard something he shouldn’t have.
“A date?”
“Why not? Can’t I go on a date?”
“Is taking a simple stroll together considered a date? Then, I suppose you’re dating me every day.”
“Are you comparing me to Leo?”
“Obviously, we’re different. How can I be the same as that jerk?”
Silence ensued, rendering our conversation utterly futile. The disparity in our perspectives, Kamian’s and mine, was glaring. While I regarded Kamian purely as a friend and spoke to him as such, he saw himself as a special presence to me.
“Just go home. I want to exercise alone today.”
Upon hearing the suggestion to go home, Kamian fell silent.
“Go. It’s pointless to exercise while arguing with you.”
Kamian seemed overwhelmed by my words. I didn’t expect him to actually go home. I simply wanted to swiftly bring this situation to an end.
Perhaps Kamian deemed it more important for me to finish my workout unscathed than to continue our date. For this moment, he chose to keep his mouth shut.
* * *
Leo did not ask me out of affection. My heart had grown too discerning, responding only to faces as captivating as Kamian’s.
However, the reason I accepted Leo’s date request was twofold: because of Kamian, and because of myself. Ever since I became aware of my feelings, anything related to Kamian stirred an unusual emotional response within me. Perhaps Kamian noticed this change, as he began to reveal the obsessions he had kept hidden.
Such a transformation is not favourable. Truly.
We need a turning point. Something that can completely sever our indescribable, subtle connection.
I apologize to Leo, but if he were to confess his feelings, I would be willing to start a relationship. Wouldn’t that make the dynamics between Kamian and me slightly clearer?
Smart.
The knock on the door sent a chilling shiver down my spine as it swung open. Lying on the bed, I nervously covered myself with the blanket.
“If you’re going to barge in without waiting for a response, don’t bother knocking.”
“I won’t knock.”
“I wasn’t telling you not to knock!”
Drenching the blanket, I exclaimed, and Kamian shrugged her shoulders. Then she closed the door again. A resounding knock once more ignited a flame of irritation. As I stared intently at the door, I heard the sound of the knock again.
“Can I come in?”
“Ah!”
As soon as the door opened, I threw a pillow. Thud. However, it missed Kamian and barely made it off the bed, lifelessly falling to the floor. Why does it always end up like this?
As if anticipating it, Kamian picked up the pillow and casually shook it. Then she placed it near my head.
“If you’re going to say we shouldn’t go on a date, then leave.”
Embarrassingly, my pointing finger directed toward the door, Kamian pulled over a chair. She sat down, resting her arms on the backrest.
“Do you like Leo?”
“I’m interested.”
“Since when?”
“It’s none of your business. Leave.”
Leaning her face on her upturned palms, Kamian tilted her head. Ah, that expression again. The one that seems to penetrate my innermost being. I bit my lip, torturing my teeth. It felt as though my secret would be exposed.
“What about me then?”
He asked in a low voice.
“Am I just someone to have s*x with?”
To soothe my parched throat, I swallowed down the saliva. And I made an effort not to show any wavering, as I opened my mouth.
“What more do you need beyond that?”
“……”
