I blinked foolishly. Did I hear that correctly? Leo is coming to our house? With those seven backpacks? Good heavens. I must intervene, no matter what. When he was at Leo’s house, I could make excuses like the sun setting and escape to my own home, but if he comes here, I won’t have any excuses left. It could even lead to the worst-case scenario of having to endure his voice until I fall asleep.
“No, you can’t.”
“That’s…”
Before the words of refusal left my mouth, Kamian cut in with determination.
“I asked Liv, not you, Kamian.”
Leo interjected with a warning not to interfere. Kamian didn’t seem bothered in the least.
“It’s our home.”
He said it as if it were obvious. You’re the one intruding. Leo laughed dryly, finding Kamian’s words somewhat childish.
“Kamian, Liv and I are…”
“It’s our home, Leo.”
Kamian’s tone matched his stubborn expression. However, there was a resolute framework that seemed impervious to any argument. Leo stared blankly at his face for a moment, then gradually regained his composure and looked at me.
“Oh, Kamian is right. Deborah and Jax are living here too, so it’s a bit difficult to invite guests frequently.”
Leo nodded as if he had no other choice.
“Well… When can we see each other then?”
“When she gets better, I suppose?”
“Yes. I will come every day. Even for a brief moment, let me just see your face.”
Upon hearing those words, I inwardly clenched my tongue. A wretched fellow, indeed.
“Yes.”
Only after hearing my response did Leo’s perpetually melancholic face brighten. Leo had told me multiple times, “You must hurry! I’ll be waiting!” If it weren’t for his exasperated expression, he might have repeated the same words all day long, standing by the door. Leo was the kind of person who would do that for others.
I thought it was a bit extreme to close the door while Leo was speaking, but as silence settled in, the breath I had been holding in my throat burst out.
I shook my head once, dislodging Leo’s voice that had been clinging to my ear. Today, I didn’t have to go and meet Leo.
A profound sense of relief washed over me, and my heart grew calm to the point where I could feel the touch of Kamian’s hand, which had reached out to me, as if it were within my grasp.
…What is Kamian thinking right now? What excuse should I make?
“Um…”
Before I could finish my sentence, Kamian’s hand grazed mine and quickly slipped away. As the warmth that had enveloped my hand vanished, even I noticed my fingertips tremble involuntarily.
“How are we going to exercise today?”
Kamian asked casually.
I was a little surprised because I thought they would ask about Leo. Rather than feeling relieved, a bigger question mark emerged in my mind, wondering why they didn’t ask. Why aren’t they curious?
“I’ll figure it out on my own.”
“Okay.”
With that, they ascended to the second floor as if without a trace of hesitation. Left alone, I stood there absentmindedly, listening to the sound of their footsteps.
Kamian doesn’t wonder about me. He doesn’t care and just leaves… It truly felt strange. Despite it being my own doing and an expected reaction, my heart pounded restlessly.
Ah, now I realize. I should not only grow accustomed to hurting Kamian but also become indifferent to the wounds that will come back to me.
With my hands, now devoid of warmth, pressed against my face, I clenched tightly. And I kept talking to myself incessantly. Endure. Bear it. Don’t cry.
Even though Kamian hasn’t insulted me… It seemed as if my heart would shatter over something so trivial. I quietly held back the urge to rush up to Kamian’s room, grab them by the collar, and demand why they didn’t ask anything.
While Kamian would meddle in every little thing about me if it were their business, I desperately wished they would just stop.
Human beings like me were dreadfully selfish.
* * *
As the distance between Kamian and me grew colder, time continued to flow faithfully.
A fortnight had passed.
I placed both of my knees upon the sofa and rested my chin upon my hands. Ever since last night, unable to sleep due to the awareness of today being the full moon, I had spent the entire night with wide-open eyes. Consequently, despite the fact that it was still broad daylight, drowsiness poured over me, causing my head to bobble with sleep.
“Tomorrow, I will go,” I murmured.
In the midst of my dazed state, a deep voice jolted my senses. I lifted my head, which had been pressed against my knees. Kamian was handing over a bundle of firewood to Debra.
With eyes still heavy from lack of rest, I silently observed the scene before me. Tomorrow?
“Where are you going?” I inquired.
Both pairs of eyes were fixed upon me. Ah, my eyelids feel so burdened. My head felt as though it had been weighed down by iron bars, rendering me unable to raise it. With a sigh, I collapsed to the side, gazing at Kamian through blurry vision.
Why won’t they tell me?
“…Where are you going?”
I blinked foolishly. Did I hear that correctly? Leo is coming to our house? With those seven backpacks? Good heavens. I must intervene, no matter what. When he was at Leo’s house, I could make excuses like the sun setting and escape to my own home, but if he comes here, I won’t have any excuses left. It could even lead to the worst-case scenario of having to endure his voice until I fall asleep.
“No, you can’t.”
“That’s…”
Before the words of refusal left my mouth, Kamian cut in with determination.
“I asked Liv, not you, Kamian.”
Leo interjected with a warning not to interfere. Kamian didn’t seem bothered in the least.
“It’s our home.”
He said it as if it were obvious. You’re the one intruding. Leo laughed dryly, finding Kamian’s words somewhat childish.
“Kamian, Liv and I are…”
“It’s our home, Leo.”
Kamian’s tone matched his stubborn expression. However, there was a resolute framework that seemed impervious to any argument. Leo stared blankly at his face for a moment, then gradually regained his composure and looked at me.
“Oh, Kamian is right. Deborah and Jax are living here too, so it’s a bit difficult to invite guests frequently.”
Leo nodded as if he had no other choice.
“Well… When can we see each other then?”
“When she gets better, I suppose?”
“Yes. I will come every day. Even for a brief moment, let me just see your face.”
Upon hearing those words, I inwardly clenched my tongue. A wretched fellow, indeed.
“Yes.”
Only after hearing my response did Leo’s perpetually melancholic face brighten. Leo had told me multiple times, “You must hurry! I’ll be waiting!” If it weren’t for his exasperated expression, he might have repeated the same words all day long, standing by the door. Leo was the kind of person who would do that for others.
I thought it was a bit extreme to close the door while Leo was speaking, but as silence settled in, the breath I had been holding in my throat burst out.
I shook my head once, dislodging Leo’s voice that had been clinging to my ear. Today, I didn’t have to go and meet Leo.
A profound sense of relief washed over me, and my heart grew calm to the point where I could feel the touch of Kamian’s hand, which had reached out to me, as if it were within my grasp.
…What is Kamian thinking right now? What excuse should I make?
“Um…”
Before I could finish my sentence, Kamian’s hand grazed mine and quickly slipped away. As the warmth that had enveloped my hand vanished, even I noticed my fingertips tremble involuntarily.
“How are we going to exercise today?”
Kamian asked casually.
I was a little surprised because I thought they would ask about Leo. Rather than feeling relieved, a bigger question mark emerged in my mind, wondering why they didn’t ask. Why aren’t they curious?
“I’ll figure it out on my own.”
“Okay.”
With that, they ascended to the second floor as if without a trace of hesitation. Left alone, I stood there absentmindedly, listening to the sound of their footsteps.
Kamian doesn’t wonder about me. He doesn’t care and just leaves… It truly felt strange. Despite it being my own doing and an expected reaction, my heart pounded restlessly.
Ah, now I realize. I should not only grow accustomed to hurting Kamian but also become indifferent to the wounds that will come back to me.
With my hands, now devoid of warmth, pressed against my face, I clenched tightly. And I kept talking to myself incessantly. Endure. Bear it. Don’t cry.
Even though Kamian hasn’t insulted me… It seemed as if my heart would shatter over something so trivial. I quietly held back the urge to rush up to Kamian’s room, grab them by the collar, and demand why they didn’t ask anything.
While Kamian would meddle in every little thing about me if it were their business, I desperately wished they would just stop.
Human beings like me were dreadfully selfish.
* * *
As the distance between Kamian and me grew colder, time continued to flow faithfully.
A fortnight had passed.
I placed both of my knees upon the sofa and rested my chin upon my hands. Ever since last night, unable to sleep due to the awareness of today being the full moon, I had spent the entire night with wide-open eyes. Consequently, despite the fact that it was still broad daylight, drowsiness poured over me, causing my head to bobble with sleep.
“Tomorrow, I will go,” I murmured.
In the midst of my dazed state, a deep voice jolted my senses. I lifted my head, which had been pressed against my knees. Kamian was handing over a bundle of firewood to Debra.
With eyes still heavy from lack of rest, I silently observed the scene before me. Tomorrow?
“Where are you going?” I inquired.
Both pairs of eyes were fixed upon me. Ah, my eyelids feel so burdened. My head felt as though it had been weighed down by iron bars, rendering me unable to raise it. With a sigh, I collapsed to the side, gazing at Kamian through blurry vision.
Why won’t they tell me?
“…Where are you going?”
