Chapter 17
I said those words while closing my eyes.
After hearing my words, Amoide forced out a laugh. “So, you’re saying that I need to have a child quickly because I may die soon.” His tone was so cold that I shrank further. “And, tonight is the day?” His blue eyes scanned me from head to toe.
I was wearing thin, sexy negligee, which was designed for tonight especially. Thus, I was so overwhelmed with shame and embarrassment.
“T-the doctor recommended us to have a baby today since it’s a suitable day.”
‘Should I tell him more?’ I spent a week taking the special medicine prescribed by the doctor to prepare my body for conception and only ate food that was good for pregnancy during my mealtime.
“And also?”
“Also?” I hesitated because I didn’t know what he was asking.
“Didn’t they teach you more than this?” He smiled with one corner of his mouth raised.
“That’s…” Listening to his question, I began to recall all the things that I learnt over the last week one by one. ‘I must eat nutritious food… I need to take the medicine regularly…’ “T-they did teach me other things, too…”
“Like what?”
“What kind of food I should eat, the body language I should have, and so on…” Embarrassed, I just spouted out some gibberish words.
“Not those things.”
“…” I just looked down and stared at my fingers while losing in thoughts. It was difficult to grasp the meaning of his question. ‘What kind of answer does he want from me?’
“What’s the most important one out of all the things they taught you?” His drowsy voice echoed in my ears.
That voice reminded me of ‘something’ that I had learned from a particular teacher that was specially invited last week. It was an essential sex education for couples to make love.
“Didn’t they teach you?” He said softly in a low voice.
“…”
‘Of course, they definitely taught me about that. I even read books with all kinds of pictures and listened to many unnecessarily detailed explanations…’ As I recalled what I saw in those books, my face flushed in embarrassment again.
[ Amoide is physically weak so you should be the one who takes the lead. Though, don’t push him too much while doing it. ]
At that moment, Camilla’s words popped up in my mind.
[ If he shows any signs of seizures, stop immediately and call for help. And never get too excited. It’s not something that you do for pleasure. It’s an important obligation for the succession of Efret Dukedom. ]
Every time Camilla’s words came to my mind, my face would gradually heat up. My face became hotter, which I could feel without even touching it.
“I’m touched to tears by my mother’s and Raymond’s concerns.” He said in ridicule, as if he already knew the answer without hearing my words.
“Come here.” Amoide reached out his hand toward me.
His drowsy voice tickled my ears. Surprised by his gesture, I took a couple of steps back. “Why?”
“…” He scanned me from head to toe and smirked. “Isn’t this what you’re here for? To have a child of a husband who may die soon.”
‘His words are right. He’s right, but…I guess I’m not fully prepared for this.’ My legs were shaking before I knew. ‘Come to think of it, previously, I only looked at pictures and listened to the wordy explanation. I never experienced it in the first place. Somehow, I feel scared.’
“You don’t want to do it?”
I could clearly see the contempt on his face as he asked that question. Nevertheless, I couldn’t run away. I could never back down. I took a deep breath and approached him with timid, small steps. Every step I took was arduous. When I reached near the bed…
“What did my mother teach you?” He suddenly turned his head and stared at me.
I felt like running away as I realized that my legs and hands were shaking more than before. My face also reddened significantly.
“Do it, like how mother taught you.”
“…”
‘Why are you acting like this?’ I couldn’t even lift my head and it was difficult to make eye contact with him. At that moment, everything I learned and memorized became useless.
“You can’t do it?” He said sarcastically.
“I- I…” My eyes shook and my body trembled in fear. I was really terrified at that time. Regardless of how handsome he was, today was the first time I met him… The tremendous fear I hid deep in my heart began to pour out, and my mind was full of confusion.
“I- I mean…well…” I felt like crying. With my hands tightly clutching the end of the negligee, I gathered my courage and tried to roll it up.
Suddenly, a firm hand grabbed my wrist and pulled it.
“…”
In a blink of an eye, I found myself lying under him on the bed. I instinctively looked up at him. Like a trapped butterfly, he pressed me down with his both hands locking my wrists.
“Uh, well…” I tried twisting my wrists around, but I couldn’t move at all.
“Do you know what will happen when a married couple- no, a man and a woman, are alone in a closed room?” He leaned in closer. With his body closely touching mine, he whispered, “I’m sure you had learnt it all. Mother must’ve used all her personal connections to provide you with the best teachers to teach you about it.”
Looking at his glistening blue eyes, I felt breathless. An imaginable amount of fear choked me.
“What you should do, how you should react…everything.” He stared at me like a snake observing a mouse before preying on it. “Ah…did mother send you into my bedroom without telling you that? And you came in here to deal with me without knowing anything?”
‘Ugh seriously, what do you mean? What the hell are you talking about?’
“I- I, Your Grace… heub-” As I was about to say something more, one of Amoide’s hands, which had been locking my wrists, suddenly wrapped around my neck. ‘No way…are you really going to kill me?’
“No, it’s not like that. Your Grace, please spare me…Please…” I fell, trying to escape from him.
“I guess you don’t know your real role. Actually, you’re pretty much a sacrificial offering for me today.” He said in a dreary voice. “If I kill you today, mother will just send another woman to my bedroom again. Then, I’ll need to kill her too, and the next woman who’ll come after that…”
With my free hand, I grabbed his hand, which was about to strangle my neck. Actually, he didn’t exert any force on my neck, but I was already out of breath, as though I was being strangled.
“S-stop…” My tears welled up and flowed down my face. No matter how hard I tried to free myself by moving my limbs, I couldn’t beat a man’s strength.
‘I thought she said he is sickly and weak!’ I screamed inwardly. Every time Camilla told me about her son, she would always end her words with, “Because my son is sickly…”
“Please…” I clasped his hand and looked up at my ‘husband.’
He glared at me with his burning blue eyes. At that moment, I could feel that the force he exerted on my neck and wrists weakened. After a while, he let go of my neck and wrist. I quickly rose to my feet.
“Heuk, heuk…” I sat down on the bedroom floor and took a breath while trying to calm myself down. Suddenly, I felt goosebumps from Amoide’s continuous stare at me.
“Get out.”
“…”
“I said get out.”
“Your Grace…”
“Do you hear me? I told you to get out.”
“I could not do that.”
As soon as he got up, I clung to his leg and pleaded. “Please, Your Grace… I- I must spend my first night here today. I must do that.” Only then I could get the financial support promised by Camilla and protect my younger siblings. If it ended just like this, I wouldn’t get anything at all.
“Why should I do that?” There was a clear ridicule in his tone.
“Yes? T-that’s, that’s…” I stopped talking and shut my mouth. I couldn’t tell him. It was clearly stated in the contract between me and Camilla.
[ If the content of the contract is leaked to a third party, B shall pay the penalty. ]
‘Money. Money is the scariest thing. The moment I tell my husband about this contract, everything is over.’
“T-that’s the only way to be recognized as the official duchess.” I came up with a plausible excuse after racking my brain.
Listening to my words, Amoide’s face instantly filled with abhorrence.
“I do not want to be kicked out. Your Grace will just end up getting another wife, but I have nowhere to go if I get kicked out.” I just said those words without thinking much. I closed my eyes tightly and said the remaining words. “So, if Your Grace wants to kill me, do it. I could not go out.”
‘He won’t really kill me, right?’ I just blindly trusted him while saying those words. By the way…
“…”
Clang. I slowly lifted my head at the sound of metal friction. I got cold feet when I saw what he took out. The silver glow of sharp metal was clearly visible in the dark. It was a blue dagger.
“I…” Looking at that dagger, I froze and couldn’t say anything.
He stood up and slowly approached me. When I saw him getting closer, I felt like my whole world became dark. I inwardly blamed my stiff mouth and immobile body. ‘Are you really going to kill me? No matter how I look, it seems like you’re seriously going to do it. Isn’t this too harsh?’
“P-please spare me.” I stamped my feet as I backed away and shook my head. It was just a contractual marriage. I couldn’t believe that I was going to die on my first night.
He looked at me with murderous eyes and chuckled. “How can you enter the bedroom of a man you’ve never seen before when you’re such a scaredy cat?”
It was undoubtedly a threatening voice.
Chapter 17
I said those words while closing my eyes.
After hearing my words, Amoide forced out a laugh. “So, you’re saying that I need to have a child quickly because I may die soon.” His tone was so cold that I shrank further. “And, tonight is the day?” His blue eyes scanned me from head to toe.
I was wearing thin, sexy negligee, which was designed for tonight especially. Thus, I was so overwhelmed with shame and embarrassment.
“T-the doctor recommended us to have a baby today since it’s a suitable day.”
‘Should I tell him more?’ I spent a week taking the special medicine prescribed by the doctor to prepare my body for conception and only ate food that was good for pregnancy during my mealtime.
“And also?”
“Also?” I hesitated because I didn’t know what he was asking.
“Didn’t they teach you more than this?” He smiled with one corner of his mouth raised.
“That’s…” Listening to his question, I began to recall all the things that I learnt over the last week one by one. ‘I must eat nutritious food… I need to take the medicine regularly…’ “T-they did teach me other things, too…”
“Like what?”
“What kind of food I should eat, the body language I should have, and so on…” Embarrassed, I just spouted out some gibberish words.
“Not those things.”
“…” I just looked down and stared at my fingers while losing in thoughts. It was difficult to grasp the meaning of his question. ‘What kind of answer does he want from me?’
“What’s the most important one out of all the things they taught you?” His drowsy voice echoed in my ears.
That voice reminded me of ‘something’ that I had learned from a particular teacher that was specially invited last week. It was an essential sex education for couples to make love.
“Didn’t they teach you?” He said softly in a low voice.
“…”
‘Of course, they definitely taught me about that. I even read books with all kinds of pictures and listened to many unnecessarily detailed explanations…’ As I recalled what I saw in those books, my face flushed in embarrassment again.
[ Amoide is physically weak so you should be the one who takes the lead. Though, don’t push him too much while doing it. ]
At that moment, Camilla’s words popped up in my mind.
[ If he shows any signs of seizures, stop immediately and call for help. And never get too excited. It’s not something that you do for pleasure. It’s an important obligation for the succession of Efret Dukedom. ]
Every time Camilla’s words came to my mind, my face would gradually heat up. My face became hotter, which I could feel without even touching it.
“I’m touched to tears by my mother’s and Raymond’s concerns.” He said in ridicule, as if he already knew the answer without hearing my words.
“Come here.” Amoide reached out his hand toward me.
His drowsy voice tickled my ears. Surprised by his gesture, I took a couple of steps back. “Why?”
“…” He scanned me from head to toe and smirked. “Isn’t this what you’re here for? To have a child of a husband who may die soon.”
‘His words are right. He’s right, but…I guess I’m not fully prepared for this.’ My legs were shaking before I knew. ‘Come to think of it, previously, I only looked at pictures and listened to the wordy explanation. I never experienced it in the first place. Somehow, I feel scared.’
“You don’t want to do it?”
I could clearly see the contempt on his face as he asked that question. Nevertheless, I couldn’t run away. I could never back down. I took a deep breath and approached him with timid, small steps. Every step I took was arduous. When I reached near the bed…
“What did my mother teach you?” He suddenly turned his head and stared at me.
I felt like running away as I realized that my legs and hands were shaking more than before. My face also reddened significantly.
“Do it, like how mother taught you.”
“…”
‘Why are you acting like this?’ I couldn’t even lift my head and it was difficult to make eye contact with him. At that moment, everything I learned and memorized became useless.
“You can’t do it?” He said sarcastically.
“I- I…” My eyes shook and my body trembled in fear. I was really terrified at that time. Regardless of how handsome he was, today was the first time I met him… The tremendous fear I hid deep in my heart began to pour out, and my mind was full of confusion.
“I- I mean…well…” I felt like crying. With my hands tightly clutching the end of the negligee, I gathered my courage and tried to roll it up.
Suddenly, a firm hand grabbed my wrist and pulled it.
“…”
In a blink of an eye, I found myself lying under him on the bed. I instinctively looked up at him. Like a trapped butterfly, he pressed me down with his both hands locking my wrists.
“Uh, well…” I tried twisting my wrists around, but I couldn’t move at all.
“Do you know what will happen when a married couple- no, a man and a woman, are alone in a closed room?” He leaned in closer. With his body closely touching mine, he whispered, “I’m sure you had learnt it all. Mother must’ve used all her personal connections to provide you with the best teachers to teach you about it.”
Looking at his glistening blue eyes, I felt breathless. An imaginable amount of fear choked me.
“What you should do, how you should react…everything.” He stared at me like a snake observing a mouse before preying on it. “Ah…did mother send you into my bedroom without telling you that? And you came in here to deal with me without knowing anything?”
‘Ugh seriously, what do you mean? What the hell are you talking about?’
“I- I, Your Grace… heub-” As I was about to say something more, one of Amoide’s hands, which had been locking my wrists, suddenly wrapped around my neck. ‘No way…are you really going to kill me?’
“No, it’s not like that. Your Grace, please spare me…Please…” I fell, trying to escape from him.
“I guess you don’t know your real role. Actually, you’re pretty much a sacrificial offering for me today.” He said in a dreary voice. “If I kill you today, mother will just send another woman to my bedroom again. Then, I’ll need to kill her too, and the next woman who’ll come after that…”
With my free hand, I grabbed his hand, which was about to strangle my neck. Actually, he didn’t exert any force on my neck, but I was already out of breath, as though I was being strangled.
“S-stop…” My tears welled up and flowed down my face. No matter how hard I tried to free myself by moving my limbs, I couldn’t beat a man’s strength.
‘I thought she said he is sickly and weak!’ I screamed inwardly. Every time Camilla told me about her son, she would always end her words with, “Because my son is sickly…”
“Please…” I clasped his hand and looked up at my ‘husband.’
He glared at me with his burning blue eyes. At that moment, I could feel that the force he exerted on my neck and wrists weakened. After a while, he let go of my neck and wrist. I quickly rose to my feet.
“Heuk, heuk…” I sat down on the bedroom floor and took a breath while trying to calm myself down. Suddenly, I felt goosebumps from Amoide’s continuous stare at me.
“Get out.”
“…”
“I said get out.”
“Your Grace…”
“Do you hear me? I told you to get out.”
“I could not do that.”
As soon as he got up, I clung to his leg and pleaded. “Please, Your Grace… I- I must spend my first night here today. I must do that.” Only then I could get the financial support promised by Camilla and protect my younger siblings. If it ended just like this, I wouldn’t get anything at all.
“Why should I do that?” There was a clear ridicule in his tone.
“Yes? T-that’s, that’s…” I stopped talking and shut my mouth. I couldn’t tell him. It was clearly stated in the contract between me and Camilla.
[ If the content of the contract is leaked to a third party, B shall pay the penalty. ]
‘Money. Money is the scariest thing. The moment I tell my husband about this contract, everything is over.’
“T-that’s the only way to be recognized as the official duchess.” I came up with a plausible excuse after racking my brain.
Listening to my words, Amoide’s face instantly filled with abhorrence.
“I do not want to be kicked out. Your Grace will just end up getting another wife, but I have nowhere to go if I get kicked out.” I just said those words without thinking much. I closed my eyes tightly and said the remaining words. “So, if Your Grace wants to kill me, do it. I could not go out.”
‘He won’t really kill me, right?’ I just blindly trusted him while saying those words. By the way…
“…”
Clang. I slowly lifted my head at the sound of metal friction. I got cold feet when I saw what he took out. The silver glow of sharp metal was clearly visible in the dark. It was a blue dagger.
“I…” Looking at that dagger, I froze and couldn’t say anything.
He stood up and slowly approached me. When I saw him getting closer, I felt like my whole world became dark. I inwardly blamed my stiff mouth and immobile body. ‘Are you really going to kill me? No matter how I look, it seems like you’re seriously going to do it. Isn’t this too harsh?’
“P-please spare me.” I stamped my feet as I backed away and shook my head. It was just a contractual marriage. I couldn’t believe that I was going to die on my first night.
He looked at me with murderous eyes and chuckled. “How can you enter the bedroom of a man you’ve never seen before when you’re such a scaredy cat?”
It was undoubtedly a threatening voice.
