从密室出来，苏晚又猛的咳嗽起来，唇边甚至带着点点血迹，此刻再精致的妆容也遮盖不住她脸上的惨白。
Coming out of the secret room, Su Wan violently coughed till specks of blood coloured her lips. At this moment, even the delicate make up could not cover the deathly paleness of her face.
“姐姐！”
“Jiejie!”
苏锐的声音是从未有过的慌乱。撇到苏锐眸子里的慌张，苏晚下意识的抬手轻轻握住了他的手：“没事的，我很好。”
Su Rui’s voice was filled with never before seen panic. When the panic reached Su Rui’s eyes, Su Wan subconsciously raised her hand and gently held his hand: “It’s alright. I’m fine.”
苏晚有些勉强的冲着苏锐笑，那笑容里早已经看透生死。
Su Wan forced herself to smile at Su Rui. That smile looked as if she had been through life and death.
苏晚的身体变得很差，似乎突然之间又回到了病入膏肓的日子，这让苏锐万分着急，最后无奈之下他只能亲自去司家，请来了司御。
Su Wan’s health became very poor. It was as if she returned to the days where her illness was beyond cure. This made Su Rui extremely anxious. In the end, he could only personally go to Si Jia and invite Physician Si.
几日不见，司御看起来也清瘦了不少，即使苏锐再看司御不顺眼，在苏晚的生死这件事上，苏锐也只好退步妥协。
After not meeting for many days, Physician Si also looked a lot thinner. Even though Su Rui found Physician Si displeasing to the eye, for the important matter of Su Wan’s life or death, Su Rui had to give in to a compromise.
此时，布置雅致的房间里，只有苏晚和司御两个人。
Right now, in an elegantly furnished room, were only Su Wan and Physician Si.
“你瘦了。”
“You’ve become thinner.”
苏晚看着床边的司御有些嘶哑的开口，而司御楞了一下，看着苏晚的目光更多的是心痛。
Su Wan looked at her bedside at Physician Si whose voice was somewhat hoarse. Physician Si was stunned. He saw Su Wan’s eyes which was filled with more heartache.
那天晚上发生在越王府里的事情他都知道了，知道了苏晚的离开，也知道她那天是昏迷着被苏锐带走的。
He knew of the matters that happened that night at Yue Wangfu. He knew of Su Wan’s departure and knew she was carried away by Su Rui after fainting into unconsciousness.
他想象不到那一刻苏晚的心情，是绝望？还是痛苦？
He couldn’t imagine how Su Wan must have felt at that moment. Was it despair? Was it suffering?
“怎么这样不爱惜自己？”
“Why do you not care for yourself?”
司御给苏晚诊了脉，这才发觉她的病情严重了，都是因为她自己吃不好睡不好心情郁结所致。
Physician Si felt Su Wan’s pulse and found that her situation was very grave. It was because she didn’t eat well nor did she sleep well and she also kept her frustrations pent up.
苏晚没回答司御的问题，目光飘忽着，看着不远处的桌子：“司御，你说人活着是为了什么呢？为了自己？为了别人？为了爱还是为了什么？”
Su Wan did not reply to Physician Si’s question. His eyes filled with uncertainty, he looked at the table not far away: “Physician Si, tell me, what do people live for ne? For themselves? For others? For love or for what?”
“郡主……”
“Junzhu….”
“叫我的名字吧。”
“Call my given name ba.”
苏晚垂眸冲着司御浅浅一笑：“你是我唯一的朋友呢。小时候我就身体不好很少出将军府，后来大一点到了皇城学习，在那里认识了几位表哥……”
Su Wan drooped her eyes and gave Physician Si a shallow smile: “You are my only friend ne. When I was a child, my health was very poor so I rarely went out of the General fu. Afterwards, when I was older, I went to the Imperial City to learn and I met several biaoges…..”
说到这里，苏晚的声音又低了低：“要是时光可以倒流，该有多好。司御……”
Speaking till here, Su Wan’s voice went lower and lower: “If time can flow backwards, how great would it be. Physician Si……”
苏晚不知道想到了什么，忽然伸出柔软冰冷的小手猛地抓住了司御的大手：“你得医术这么厉害，你能不能，能不能够为我研究一种药，让我……忘记怎样去爱一个人？爱一个人，实在是……太痛苦了。我真的……好痛。”
It was unknown what Su Wan thought of but she suddenly stretched out her soft but cold little hand and gripped Physician Si’s big hand: “Your medical skills is exemplary. Could you, could you…. Help me research a type of medicine for me, to let me…..forget how to love someone? To love some, is actually…… too painful. I really…… it hurts.”
“苏晚。”
“Su Wan.”
司御的心猛地一疼，有些不由自主的，抬起手臂就把苏晚半拥在自己的怀里：“你别这样，世界这么大，总有一个人在爱着你，在等着你，你这么好，会有很多人爱你的。所以，你要好好活着，好好活着，知道吗？”
Physician Si felt his heart suddenly ache and couldn’t help but raise his arms and partially hold Su Wan in his embrace: “Don’t be this way. The world is so large, there is bound to be someone who loves you. Waiting for you. If you’re good then there will surely be many people who will love you. Therefore, you need to live well, live very well, you know?”
“好好活着……”
“Live well…..”
苏晚似乎有些疲累，整个人无力的缩在司御的怀里：“我也想要好好活着，可是只要一想到表哥他此刻正和叶知画恩恩爱爱的生活着，我的心就好痛，他怎么可以这么残忍，说不爱就不爱了，那我那些年付出的一切又算什么？我说服不了自己，我无法欺骗自己的心，有时候我甚至会很恶毒的想，要是哪一天表哥也把叶知画抛弃了，那么说不定我就能放下了，我就不会觉得那么痛苦了，司御，你说我是不是很坏？或许表哥和叶知画说得对，我就是个恶毒的女人。”
Su Wan seemed a little bit tired and weakly curled in Physician Si’s embrace: “I also wish to live well but when I think of biaoge who is now living in a loving relationship with Ye Zhi Hua, my heart aches so much. How could he be so cruel, saying that if he doesn’t love me anymore then he doesn’t love me anymore. Then, how do I count those years where I gave my all? I can’t persuade myself anymore, I can’t deceive my own heart anymore. There were times when I even had vicious thoughts. If one day biaoge also abandoned Ye Zhi Hua, then I’m not sure if I’m able to let it go. I think I would feel less hurt. Physician Si, tell me, am I a terrible person? Perhaps, what biaoge and Ye Zhi Hua said was right. I am a malicious woman.”
“不，不是。”
“No, you’re wrong.”
司御紧了紧自己的手臂：“你不是，他们才是。”
Physician Si tightened his arm: “You’re not vicious. They are.”
他们才是……
They are…..
听到司御的话，苏晚激动的心情似乎平复了不少，她缓缓地闭上了双眼：“司御，有没有人说过，你的怀里……特别舒服。”
Hearing Physician Si’s words, Su Wan’s agitation seemed to calm down a lot. She slowly closed her eyes: “Physician Si, has anyone ever told you that your embrace….. is very comfortable.”
不知不觉的，苏晚竟然温顺的靠在司御的怀里睡着了。
Unconciously, Su Wan docilely leaned in Physician Si’s arms and fell asleep.
她熟睡的样子特别的恬静安宁，司御没敢动，也舍不得动，一直温柔的一动不动的抱着她……
Her soundly sleeping appearance looked especially peaceful and tranquil. Physician Si did not dare to move and gave up trying to move. He sat very still as he gently held her in his arms……
是夜，绿朱按照司御新配的药方给苏晚新熬了汤药，这次苏晚倒是很配合的把汤药都干干净净的喝掉了。
At night, Lu Zhu gave Su Wan a freshly brewed decoction that was made in accordance to Physician Si’s new prescription. This time, the prescription suited Su Wan really well till she even completely drained the bowl.
吃过了药在绿朱的服侍下，苏晚像往常一样沐浴更衣，熄灯就寝。
After finishing the medicine, she was waited upon by Lu Zhu. Su Wan bathed and changed as usual, and put out the light to retire for the night.
不多时床榻上就传来苏晚均匀悠长的呼吸声，见主子终于睡了，绿朱这才安心的到了偏厅的小床上休息。
After a short time, there was a long even breathing sounds coming from Su Wan on the bed. Seeing that her master had finally slept, Lu Zhu felt relieved and went to rest on the bed in the partial hall.
夜半时分，苏晚的床前多了一个影子。
In the middle of the night, there was another shadow in front of Su Wan’s bed.
那身影一直安静的坐在她的床头，即使在黑暗里，盯着她的那双眼睛依旧明亮而专注。
The figure was quietly sitting at her bedside. Even in the dark, the eyes staring at her were still bright and focused.
床上的苏晚一无所觉，她似乎睡得不舒服，轻轻翻了个身，肩上的锦被随着她的动作滑落，床畔的人似乎皱了皱眉，抬手就把被子往上拉了拉，直到把苏晚整个人都裹在被子里，那人才心满意足的停手，之后又目光专注的看着她，直到天亮……
Su Wan who was on the bed didn’t feel anything. She seemed as if she wasn’t sleeping comfortably. She turned over slightly and the quilt moved with her movements, exposing her shoulder. The person by the bed wrinkled his eyebrows and raised his hand to pull the quilt. After pulling and pulling till Su Wan was completely wrapped up in the quilt, that person was finally satisfied and stopped. Then, the person looked at her intently until dawn…..
第二天，苏晚的精神不错，有了司御的“治疗”，她自然不用再想尽办法弄“坏”自己的身体，现在一切都准备妥当，该是收获的季节了……
The next day, Su Wan was pretty lively. With Physician Si’s “treatment”, she naturally did not have to think of ways to “harm” her body. Now that everything is prepared, it should be time to harvest the results…….
京都，叶府。
Capital, Ye fu.
这几天叶家的日子特别不好过，原本叶知画成了越王妃，叶家本该扬眉吐气喜气洋洋，可是谁知道就在叶知画册封越王妃的第二天叶御史就被人在朝堂上参了一本，不仅被扣了三个月的俸禄，连带着叶氏家族的其他官员也都受到了拖累。
These few days, Ye Jia’s livelihood had been particularly terrible. Originally, when Ye Zhi Hua became Yue Wangfei, Ye Jia originally should be proud and happy but who knew that the second days after Ye Zhi Hua was conferred the title of Yue Wangfei, Imperial Censor Ye was held back in court to be impeached by others in front of the Emperor. Not only was three months of his salary deducted, it also implicated others from the Ye clan.
朝中大臣一个个都是滚刀肉，这叶家得罪了什么人他们心里门清儿，谁敢替叶家出头？
Every one of the ministers in the royal court were trouble-makers. This Ye Jia had offended who knows whose family’s child that the family held dear in their hearts. Who dares to come forward for Ye Jia?
你们没看越王殿下也只能阴着脸不说话吗？
Can’t you see His Highness Yue Wang only had a gloomy face and wasn’t talking?
因为负了苏晚，轩辕睿本就理亏，陛下当初对他册封叶知画是睁一只眼闭一只眼的，谁也不曾料到等到尘埃落定，苏锐却突然奋起反击！
Because he betrayed Su Wan, Xuan Yuan Rui was in the wrong. The Emperor originally tuned a blind eye to Yue Wang bestowing a title to Ye Zhi Hua. Who knew that once this occurred, Su Rui would rise up to fight back!
陛下一向器重苏家，而苏锐和苏晚的母亲也都是皇族之人，本以为两家靠着联姻的关系已经牢不可破，苏晚嫁给轩辕睿也算是亲上加亲，可是这半路杀出个叶知画，一切都开始乱了起来。
The Emperor held Su Jia in high regard. Also, Su Rui and Su Wan’s mother were part of the Imperial family. The two houses were tied together by marriage and their bonds were unbreakable. Su Wan’s marriage with Xuan Yuan Rui was also considered to be cementing old ties by marriage but Ye Zhi Hua interrupted halfway through and everything started to go into turmoil.
这时候的陛下似乎也忘记了自己当时的默许，只当是轩辕睿英雄难过美人关，为了儿女私情而耽误了正事，这让陛下对自己这个一向宠爱的儿子开始有了点不满。
At this time, His Majesty the Emperor seemed to have forgotten his acquiescence at that time. He regarded Xuan Yuan Rui as a hero who had a weakness for the charms of a beauty. He delayed more important matters for the sake of his personal relationship. This made him feel dissatisfied with this favourite son of his.
而轩辕睿呢？
And Xuan Yuan Rui?
他更是有苦说不出，原本铲除了轩辕卿这个阴险狡诈的障碍，又和自己心爱的人共结连理，正应当是自己人生之中最放纵肆意的日子，但是苏晚的突然离开，苏锐的猛烈攻击，一下子让轩辕睿的生活变得一团乱麻。
He had even more unspeakable bitter sufferings. Originally, after eradicating that sinister and cunning Xuan Yuan Qing, that obstacle, and having a loving relationship with his true love, it should be the most indulging willful period of his life. Yet, Su Wan’s unexpected departure and Su Rui’s fierce offensive suddenly made Xuan Yuan Rui’s life a mess.
陛下明里暗里暗示着轩辕睿把苏晚接回越王府，甚至还要让叶知画把王妃之位还给苏晚，对于这个提议，轩辕睿自然不肯答应。
His Majesty secretly hinted at him in public to make Su Wan his Yue Wangfei again and even wanted Ye Zhi Hua to return the title of Yue Wangfei herself to Su Wan. In regard to this proposal, Xuan Yuan Rui naturally refused to agree.
而这个时候的叶家四面楚歌一次次的向着越王府求助，叶知画却是心有余而力不足，因为心事太重，整个人又病倒了，轩辕睿只好请司御过来给她看病调理。
At this time, Ye Jia was besieged on all sides and kept turning to Yue Wangfu for help. Ye Zhi Hua wanted to help but she did not have the ability to. Because this worry was too heavy, she fell ill. Xuan Yuan Rui had to ask Physician Si to come see her.
病榻上的叶知画苍白着脸，一副我见犹怜的模样，司御看着她的病容，不知怎地就想到了苏晚咳血虚弱的模样，心里头对叶知画的恶感不知不觉的再度增加。
Ye Zhi Hua was on her sickbed with a pale face, showing an I’m so pitifulappearance. Physician Si looked at her sickly look and for some reason, thought of Su Wan’s appearance when she was weak and coughed up blood. In his heart, his ill feelings towards Ye Zhi Hua increased again.
“司御医，听闻你前些日子去了将军府？”
“Imperial Physician Si, I heard that you went to the General fu a few days ago?”
虽然心底里不想苏晚在和轩辕睿有任何瓜葛，但是叶知画又不知觉得想要关注苏晚的一举一动。
Although deep down in her heart, she knew that Su Wan and Xuan Yuan Rui had no connections at all, Ye Zhi Hua was still unaware of her unconscious desire to pay close attention to each and every move of Su Wan’s.
其实陛下的意思叶知画也明白，若是前世的她，只要有机会能和轩辕睿在一起，她就知足了，就算无名无分也无所谓的。
In fact, Ye Zhi Hua also understand His Majesty the Emperor’s meaning. If it was the past her, as long as she had the opportunity to be with Xuan Yuan Rui, she will be content. Even if it was not fated and she couldn’t take him as her own, it did not matter.
但是现在不同了，现在的她是越王妃，是轩辕睿名正言顺的正妻，他们夫妻恩爱，浓情蜜意，尝到了太多的甜蜜，她的心慢慢变得不满足——轩辕睿是她的，为什么要让给苏晚？
But it is different now. Now, she is Yue Wangfei and was righteously Xuan Yuan Rui’s wife. They were deeply in love with each other and had strong feelings like honey. After tasting too much of this happiness, her heart slowly felt discontented. Xuan Yuan Rui was hers, why must she need to give him to Su Wan?
苏晚明明都是要死的人了，为何死到临头还要和她抢她心爱的男人？
Su Wan was obviously a person who’s going to die. Faced with her imminent death, why must she still want to snatch her beloved husband from her?
此时叶知画虽然面色虚弱，但是司御还是从她的目光里看到了与众不同的情绪。
Right now, although Ye Zhi Hua still had a weak complexion, Physician Si could still see a strange look from her gaze.
沉吟了片刻，司御叹息了一声：“哎，我是去给小郡主看过病，她的身体……”
Muttering to himself for a moment, Physician Si heaved a sigh: “Ai, I only went to diagnose the Xiao Junzhu, her health…..”
“苏……郡主怎么了？”
“Su…Junzhu, what happened to her?”
叶知画的目光一闪，紧紧的盯着司御的脸。
Ye Zhi Hua’s eyes flashed and she stared at Physician Si’s face.
“郡主她病入膏肓，彻夜难眠……”说到这里，司御的目光暗了暗，脸上的表情带着几分悲伤：“她活得很……痛苦。”
“The Junzhu’s illness is incurable . Throughout the night she has difficulty sleeping…” Speaking till her, Physician Si’s expression dimmed and there was a somewhat sorrowful look on his face: “She lives in….. a lot of pain.”
或许是想到了那天苏晚靠在他怀里悲伤痛苦的模样，司御的声音里也不知不觉的带上了几分心疼。
Perhaps it was because he thought of that day when she leaned into his embrace with a sorrowful and agonised look, Physician Si’s voice unconsciously carried a bit of distress.
而叶知画却没注意到司御的情绪，她的脑海里只有“病入膏肓”这四个字，经久不散。
On the other hand, Ye Zhi Hua was not paying attention to Physician Si’s moodiness. She only thought of these two words “incurable illness” and that Su Wan’s life cannot be prolonged.
“郡主真是可怜。”
“Junzhu is really pitiful.”
叶知画目光楚楚的看着司御：“我只是普通的风寒入体就如此难受，想必郡主现在病重在塌恐怕是生不如死吧，一想到她在被病痛折磨，我心里也不好受，与其这样被病魔折磨，或许……安静的离开对于她才是最好的解脱吧。”
Ye Zhi Hua delicately looked at Physician Si: “I only have an ordinary cold and I am already feeling so uncomfortable. Most probably Junzhu who is seriously ill and is afraid of dying probably feels that it is better to die. The moment I think that she is being tormented by this illness, my heart feels unwell. Rather than being tormented by this disease, perhaps…..a quiet departure is the best relief for her.”
说话间叶知画小心翼翼的观察着司御的反应。
In the middle of speaking, Ye Zhi Hua cautiously looked at Physician Si’s response.
自小就被称为才女的叶知画一直觉得自己是非常聪明的，特别是重生后，那种运筹帷幄的感觉，让她不自觉的觉得自己总是高人一等。
Ye Zhi Hua was known as a gifted scholar since she was young so, she felt that she was extremely intelligent. Especially after being reborn, the feeling of strategizing unconsciously made her feel as if she was a cut above other people.
其实在司御第一次来王府给她看病的时候，叶知画就看出来这个司御医是个心软的人，而且似乎对自己很有好感。
In fact, the first time Physician Si came to the wangfu to treat her illness, Ye Zhi Hua saw that Imperial Physician Si was a soft-hearted person and seemed to have a favourable impression towards her.
如果能利用这份好感……
If she can take advantage of his feelings…
不得不说叶知画的确也有些小聪明，重来一生的她，很懂得利用自己的任何资源和优势。
It has to be said that Ye Zhi Hua indeed was somewhat clever with her petty tricks. The reborn her understood very well how to fully utilise her own natural resources and position.
可惜，现在的她明显用错了时间。
Unfortunately, right now, she used it at the wrong time.
听到叶知画的言语，司御的眼底一寒，脸上却带着一脸严肃的表情“王妃不想让郡主受苦，真是心地善良，可是……蝼蚁尚且偷生，郡主或许活的痛苦，但是再痛苦的活着，也总比死了的好吧？我是一位医者，向来只知道治病救人，从不会放弃任何一个病患。”
Hearing what Ye Zhi Hua said, Physician Si’s eyes went cold, his face had a solemn expression: “Wangfei does not want Junzhu to suffer. Truly kind-hearted but,….even ants want to live. Junzhu may be living in pain but isn’t living in pain better than to be dead? I am a medical practitioner who has always only known how to cure illnesses and never to give up on any patient.”
听到司御的话，叶知画愣了片刻，这才有些尴尬的转过自己的视线：“司御医说的有道理，我也只是……只是太过心疼郡主了而已。”
Hearing Physician Si’s words, Ye Zhi Hua was dumbfounded. She shifted her slightly awkward gaze: “Imperial Physician Si’s words are reasonable. I was just too….just too distressed for the Junzhu. Nothing more.”
她表演的越是情真意切，司御的目光就越是冰寒——
The more she acted as if she was genuinely concerned, the more Physician Si’s gaze turned ice cold.
什么是善良？
What is kind-heartedness?
什么又是恶毒？
And what is maliciousness?
司御想起那天苏晚说的话，她从不把自己的痛恨埋藏在心里，就算有什么恶毒的想法，她也从来是直言不讳。
Physician Si thought of the words Su Wan spoke that day. She never hid her bitter thoughts in her heart. Even if she had vicious thoughts, she has always spoken without reservation.
人非圣贤，哪个人没有自己的私心和欲望？
People are not sages. Who didn’t have selfish thoughts and desires?
其实，司御也有自己不能说出口的自私的心思，只是那心思一直被他掩饰的很好，无人发觉而已……
In fact, Physician Si also had unspeakable selfish thoughts. It’s just that he covered up those thoughts very well. No one has discovered it, nothing more…..
从密室出来，苏晚又猛的咳嗽起来，唇边甚至带着点点血迹，此刻再精致的妆容也遮盖不住她脸上的惨白。
Coming out of the secret room, Su Wan violently coughed till specks of blood coloured her lips. At this moment, even the delicate make up could not cover the deathly paleness of her face.
“姐姐！”
“Jiejie!”
苏锐的声音是从未有过的慌乱。撇到苏锐眸子里的慌张，苏晚下意识的抬手轻轻握住了他的手：“没事的，我很好。”
Su Rui’s voice was filled with never before seen panic. When the panic reached Su Rui’s eyes, Su Wan subconsciously raised her hand and gently held his hand: “It’s alright. I’m fine.”
苏晚有些勉强的冲着苏锐笑，那笑容里早已经看透生死。
Su Wan forced herself to smile at Su Rui. That smile looked as if she had been through life and death.
苏晚的身体变得很差，似乎突然之间又回到了病入膏肓的日子，这让苏锐万分着急，最后无奈之下他只能亲自去司家，请来了司御。
Su Wan’s health became very poor. It was as if she returned to the days where her illness was beyond cure. This made Su Rui extremely anxious. In the end, he could only personally go to Si Jia and invite Physician Si.
几日不见，司御看起来也清瘦了不少，即使苏锐再看司御不顺眼，在苏晚的生死这件事上，苏锐也只好退步妥协。
After not meeting for many days, Physician Si also looked a lot thinner. Even though Su Rui found Physician Si displeasing to the eye, for the important matter of Su Wan’s life or death, Su Rui had to give in to a compromise.
此时，布置雅致的房间里，只有苏晚和司御两个人。
Right now, in an elegantly furnished room, were only Su Wan and Physician Si.
“你瘦了。”
“You’ve become thinner.”
苏晚看着床边的司御有些嘶哑的开口，而司御楞了一下，看着苏晚的目光更多的是心痛。
Su Wan looked at her bedside at Physician Si whose voice was somewhat hoarse. Physician Si was stunned. He saw Su Wan’s eyes which was filled with more heartache.
那天晚上发生在越王府里的事情他都知道了，知道了苏晚的离开，也知道她那天是昏迷着被苏锐带走的。
He knew of the matters that happened that night at Yue Wangfu. He knew of Su Wan’s departure and knew she was carried away by Su Rui after fainting into unconsciousness.
他想象不到那一刻苏晚的心情，是绝望？还是痛苦？
He couldn’t imagine how Su Wan must have felt at that moment. Was it despair? Was it suffering?
“怎么这样不爱惜自己？”
“Why do you not care for yourself?”
司御给苏晚诊了脉，这才发觉她的病情严重了，都是因为她自己吃不好睡不好心情郁结所致。
Physician Si felt Su Wan’s pulse and found that her situation was very grave. It was because she didn’t eat well nor did she sleep well and she also kept her frustrations pent up.
苏晚没回答司御的问题，目光飘忽着，看着不远处的桌子：“司御，你说人活着是为了什么呢？为了自己？为了别人？为了爱还是为了什么？”
Su Wan did not reply to Physician Si’s question. His eyes filled with uncertainty, he looked at the table not far away: “Physician Si, tell me, what do people live for ne? For themselves? For others? For love or for what?”
“郡主……”
“Junzhu….”
“叫我的名字吧。”
“Call my given name ba.”
苏晚垂眸冲着司御浅浅一笑：“你是我唯一的朋友呢。小时候我就身体不好很少出将军府，后来大一点到了皇城学习，在那里认识了几位表哥……”
Su Wan drooped her eyes and gave Physician Si a shallow smile: “You are my only friend ne. When I was a child, my health was very poor so I rarely went out of the General fu. Afterwards, when I was older, I went to the Imperial City to learn and I met several biaoges…..”
说到这里，苏晚的声音又低了低：“要是时光可以倒流，该有多好。司御……”
Speaking till here, Su Wan’s voice went lower and lower: “If time can flow backwards, how great would it be. Physician Si……”
苏晚不知道想到了什么，忽然伸出柔软冰冷的小手猛地抓住了司御的大手：“你得医术这么厉害，你能不能，能不能够为我研究一种药，让我……忘记怎样去爱一个人？爱一个人，实在是……太痛苦了。我真的……好痛。”
It was unknown what Su Wan thought of but she suddenly stretched out her soft but cold little hand and gripped Physician Si’s big hand: “Your medical skills is exemplary. Could you, could you…. Help me research a type of medicine for me, to let me…..forget how to love someone? To love some, is actually…… too painful. I really…… it hurts.”
“苏晚。”
“Su Wan.”
司御的心猛地一疼，有些不由自主的，抬起手臂就把苏晚半拥在自己的怀里：“你别这样，世界这么大，总有一个人在爱着你，在等着你，你这么好，会有很多人爱你的。所以，你要好好活着，好好活着，知道吗？”
Physician Si felt his heart suddenly ache and couldn’t help but raise his arms and partially hold Su Wan in his embrace: “Don’t be this way. The world is so large, there is bound to be someone who loves you. Waiting for you. If you’re good then there will surely be many people who will love you. Therefore, you need to live well, live very well, you know?”
“好好活着……”
“Live well…..”
苏晚似乎有些疲累，整个人无力的缩在司御的怀里：“我也想要好好活着，可是只要一想到表哥他此刻正和叶知画恩恩爱爱的生活着，我的心就好痛，他怎么可以这么残忍，说不爱就不爱了，那我那些年付出的一切又算什么？我说服不了自己，我无法欺骗自己的心，有时候我甚至会很恶毒的想，要是哪一天表哥也把叶知画抛弃了，那么说不定我就能放下了，我就不会觉得那么痛苦了，司御，你说我是不是很坏？或许表哥和叶知画说得对，我就是个恶毒的女人。”
Su Wan seemed a little bit tired and weakly curled in Physician Si’s embrace: “I also wish to live well but when I think of biaoge who is now living in a loving relationship with Ye Zhi Hua, my heart aches so much. How could he be so cruel, saying that if he doesn’t love me anymore then he doesn’t love me anymore. Then, how do I count those years where I gave my all? I can’t persuade myself anymore, I can’t deceive my own heart anymore. There were times when I even had vicious thoughts. If one day biaoge also abandoned Ye Zhi Hua, then I’m not sure if I’m able to let it go. I think I would feel less hurt. Physician Si, tell me, am I a terrible person? Perhaps, what biaoge and Ye Zhi Hua said was right. I am a malicious woman.”
“不，不是。”
“No, you’re wrong.”
司御紧了紧自己的手臂：“你不是，他们才是。”
Physician Si tightened his arm: “You’re not vicious. They are.”
他们才是……
They are…..
听到司御的话，苏晚激动的心情似乎平复了不少，她缓缓地闭上了双眼：“司御，有没有人说过，你的怀里……特别舒服。”
Hearing Physician Si’s words, Su Wan’s agitation seemed to calm down a lot. She slowly closed her eyes: “Physician Si, has anyone ever told you that your embrace….. is very comfortable.”
不知不觉的，苏晚竟然温顺的靠在司御的怀里睡着了。
Unconciously, Su Wan docilely leaned in Physician Si’s arms and fell asleep.
她熟睡的样子特别的恬静安宁，司御没敢动，也舍不得动，一直温柔的一动不动的抱着她……
Her soundly sleeping appearance looked especially peaceful and tranquil. Physician Si did not dare to move and gave up trying to move. He sat very still as he gently held her in his arms……
是夜，绿朱按照司御新配的药方给苏晚新熬了汤药，这次苏晚倒是很配合的把汤药都干干净净的喝掉了。
At night, Lu Zhu gave Su Wan a freshly brewed decoction that was made in accordance to Physician Si’s new prescription. This time, the prescription suited Su Wan really well till she even completely drained the bowl.
吃过了药在绿朱的服侍下，苏晚像往常一样沐浴更衣，熄灯就寝。
After finishing the medicine, she was waited upon by Lu Zhu. Su Wan bathed and changed as usual, and put out the light to retire for the night.
不多时床榻上就传来苏晚均匀悠长的呼吸声，见主子终于睡了，绿朱这才安心的到了偏厅的小床上休息。
After a short time, there was a long even breathing sounds coming from Su Wan on the bed. Seeing that her master had finally slept, Lu Zhu felt relieved and went to rest on the bed in the partial hall.
夜半时分，苏晚的床前多了一个影子。
In the middle of the night, there was another shadow in front of Su Wan’s bed.
那身影一直安静的坐在她的床头，即使在黑暗里，盯着她的那双眼睛依旧明亮而专注。
The figure was quietly sitting at her bedside. Even in the dark, the eyes staring at her were still bright and focused.
床上的苏晚一无所觉，她似乎睡得不舒服，轻轻翻了个身，肩上的锦被随着她的动作滑落，床畔的人似乎皱了皱眉，抬手就把被子往上拉了拉，直到把苏晚整个人都裹在被子里，那人才心满意足的停手，之后又目光专注的看着她，直到天亮……
Su Wan who was on the bed didn’t feel anything. She seemed as if she wasn’t sleeping comfortably. She turned over slightly and the quilt moved with her movements, exposing her shoulder. The person by the bed wrinkled his eyebrows and raised his hand to pull the quilt. After pulling and pulling till Su Wan was completely wrapped up in the quilt, that person was finally satisfied and stopped. Then, the person looked at her intently until dawn…..
第二天，苏晚的精神不错，有了司御的“治疗”，她自然不用再想尽办法弄“坏”自己的身体，现在一切都准备妥当，该是收获的季节了……
The next day, Su Wan was pretty lively. With Physician Si’s “treatment”, she naturally did not have to think of ways to “harm” her body. Now that everything is prepared, it should be time to harvest the results…….
京都，叶府。
Capital, Ye fu.
这几天叶家的日子特别不好过，原本叶知画成了越王妃，叶家本该扬眉吐气喜气洋洋，可是谁知道就在叶知画册封越王妃的第二天叶御史就被人在朝堂上参了一本，不仅被扣了三个月的俸禄，连带着叶氏家族的其他官员也都受到了拖累。
These few days, Ye Jia’s livelihood had been particularly terrible. Originally, when Ye Zhi Hua became Yue Wangfei, Ye Jia originally should be proud and happy but who knew that the second days after Ye Zhi Hua was conferred the title of Yue Wangfei, Imperial Censor Ye was held back in court to be impeached by others in front of the Emperor. Not only was three months of his salary deducted, it also implicated others from the Ye clan.
朝中大臣一个个都是滚刀肉，这叶家得罪了什么人他们心里门清儿，谁敢替叶家出头？
Every one of the ministers in the royal court were trouble-makers. This Ye Jia had offended who knows whose family’s child that the family held dear in their hearts. Who dares to come forward for Ye Jia?
你们没看越王殿下也只能阴着脸不说话吗？
Can’t you see His Highness Yue Wang only had a gloomy face and wasn’t talking?
因为负了苏晚，轩辕睿本就理亏，陛下当初对他册封叶知画是睁一只眼闭一只眼的，谁也不曾料到等到尘埃落定，苏锐却突然奋起反击！
Because he betrayed Su Wan, Xuan Yuan Rui was in the wrong. The Emperor originally tuned a blind eye to Yue Wang bestowing a title to Ye Zhi Hua. Who knew that once this occurred, Su Rui would rise up to fight back!
陛下一向器重苏家，而苏锐和苏晚的母亲也都是皇族之人，本以为两家靠着联姻的关系已经牢不可破，苏晚嫁给轩辕睿也算是亲上加亲，可是这半路杀出个叶知画，一切都开始乱了起来。
The Emperor held Su Jia in high regard. Also, Su Rui and Su Wan’s mother were part of the Imperial family. The two houses were tied together by marriage and their bonds were unbreakable. Su Wan’s marriage with Xuan Yuan Rui was also considered to be cementing old ties by marriage but Ye Zhi Hua interrupted halfway through and everything started to go into turmoil.
这时候的陛下似乎也忘记了自己当时的默许，只当是轩辕睿英雄难过美人关，为了儿女私情而耽误了正事，这让陛下对自己这个一向宠爱的儿子开始有了点不满。
At this time, His Majesty the Emperor seemed to have forgotten his acquiescence at that time. He regarded Xuan Yuan Rui as a hero who had a weakness for the charms of a beauty. He delayed more important matters for the sake of his personal relationship. This made him feel dissatisfied with this favourite son of his.
而轩辕睿呢？
And Xuan Yuan Rui?
他更是有苦说不出，原本铲除了轩辕卿这个阴险狡诈的障碍，又和自己心爱的人共结连理，正应当是自己人生之中最放纵肆意的日子，但是苏晚的突然离开，苏锐的猛烈攻击，一下子让轩辕睿的生活变得一团乱麻。
He had even more unspeakable bitter sufferings. Originally, after eradicating that sinister and cunning Xuan Yuan Qing, that obstacle, and having a loving relationship with his true love, it should be the most indulging willful period of his life. Yet, Su Wan’s unexpected departure and Su Rui’s fierce offensive suddenly made Xuan Yuan Rui’s life a mess.
陛下明里暗里暗示着轩辕睿把苏晚接回越王府，甚至还要让叶知画把王妃之位还给苏晚，对于这个提议，轩辕睿自然不肯答应。
His Majesty secretly hinted at him in public to make Su Wan his Yue Wangfei again and even wanted Ye Zhi Hua to return the title of Yue Wangfei herself to Su Wan. In regard to this proposal, Xuan Yuan Rui naturally refused to agree.
而这个时候的叶家四面楚歌一次次的向着越王府求助，叶知画却是心有余而力不足，因为心事太重，整个人又病倒了，轩辕睿只好请司御过来给她看病调理。
At this time, Ye Jia was besieged on all sides and kept turning to Yue Wangfu for help. Ye Zhi Hua wanted to help but she did not have the ability to. Because this worry was too heavy, she fell ill. Xuan Yuan Rui had to ask Physician Si to come see her.
病榻上的叶知画苍白着脸，一副我见犹怜的模样，司御看着她的病容，不知怎地就想到了苏晚咳血虚弱的模样，心里头对叶知画的恶感不知不觉的再度增加。
Ye Zhi Hua was on her sickbed with a pale face, showing an I’m so pitifulappearance. Physician Si looked at her sickly look and for some reason, thought of Su Wan’s appearance when she was weak and coughed up blood. In his heart, his ill feelings towards Ye Zhi Hua increased again.
“司御医，听闻你前些日子去了将军府？”
“Imperial Physician Si, I heard that you went to the General fu a few days ago?”
虽然心底里不想苏晚在和轩辕睿有任何瓜葛，但是叶知画又不知觉得想要关注苏晚的一举一动。
Although deep down in her heart, she knew that Su Wan and Xuan Yuan Rui had no connections at all, Ye Zhi Hua was still unaware of her unconscious desire to pay close attention to each and every move of Su Wan’s.
其实陛下的意思叶知画也明白，若是前世的她，只要有机会能和轩辕睿在一起，她就知足了，就算无名无分也无所谓的。
In fact, Ye Zhi Hua also understand His Majesty the Emperor’s meaning. If it was the past her, as long as she had the opportunity to be with Xuan Yuan Rui, she will be content. Even if it was not fated and she couldn’t take him as her own, it did not matter.
但是现在不同了，现在的她是越王妃，是轩辕睿名正言顺的正妻，他们夫妻恩爱，浓情蜜意，尝到了太多的甜蜜，她的心慢慢变得不满足——轩辕睿是她的，为什么要让给苏晚？
But it is different now. Now, she is Yue Wangfei and was righteously Xuan Yuan Rui’s wife. They were deeply in love with each other and had strong feelings like honey. After tasting too much of this happiness, her heart slowly felt discontented. Xuan Yuan Rui was hers, why must she need to give him to Su Wan?
苏晚明明都是要死的人了，为何死到临头还要和她抢她心爱的男人？
Su Wan was obviously a person who’s going to die. Faced with her imminent death, why must she still want to snatch her beloved husband from her?
此时叶知画虽然面色虚弱，但是司御还是从她的目光里看到了与众不同的情绪。
Right now, although Ye Zhi Hua still had a weak complexion, Physician Si could still see a strange look from her gaze.
沉吟了片刻，司御叹息了一声：“哎，我是去给小郡主看过病，她的身体……”
Muttering to himself for a moment, Physician Si heaved a sigh: “Ai, I only went to diagnose the Xiao Junzhu, her health…..”
“苏……郡主怎么了？”
“Su…Junzhu, what happened to her?”
叶知画的目光一闪，紧紧的盯着司御的脸。
Ye Zhi Hua’s eyes flashed and she stared at Physician Si’s face.
“郡主她病入膏肓，彻夜难眠……”说到这里，司御的目光暗了暗，脸上的表情带着几分悲伤：“她活得很……痛苦。”
“The Junzhu’s illness is incurable . Throughout the night she has difficulty sleeping…” Speaking till her, Physician Si’s expression dimmed and there was a somewhat sorrowful look on his face: “She lives in….. a lot of pain.”
或许是想到了那天苏晚靠在他怀里悲伤痛苦的模样，司御的声音里也不知不觉的带上了几分心疼。
Perhaps it was because he thought of that day when she leaned into his embrace with a sorrowful and agonised look, Physician Si’s voice unconsciously carried a bit of distress.
而叶知画却没注意到司御的情绪，她的脑海里只有“病入膏肓”这四个字，经久不散。
On the other hand, Ye Zhi Hua was not paying attention to Physician Si’s moodiness. She only thought of these two words “incurable illness” and that Su Wan’s life cannot be prolonged.
“郡主真是可怜。”
“Junzhu is really pitiful.”
叶知画目光楚楚的看着司御：“我只是普通的风寒入体就如此难受，想必郡主现在病重在塌恐怕是生不如死吧，一想到她在被病痛折磨，我心里也不好受，与其这样被病魔折磨，或许……安静的离开对于她才是最好的解脱吧。”
Ye Zhi Hua delicately looked at Physician Si: “I only have an ordinary cold and I am already feeling so uncomfortable. Most probably Junzhu who is seriously ill and is afraid of dying probably feels that it is better to die. The moment I think that she is being tormented by this illness, my heart feels unwell. Rather than being tormented by this disease, perhaps…..a quiet departure is the best relief for her.”
说话间叶知画小心翼翼的观察着司御的反应。
In the middle of speaking, Ye Zhi Hua cautiously looked at Physician Si’s response.
自小就被称为才女的叶知画一直觉得自己是非常聪明的，特别是重生后，那种运筹帷幄的感觉，让她不自觉的觉得自己总是高人一等。
Ye Zhi Hua was known as a gifted scholar since she was young so, she felt that she was extremely intelligent. Especially after being reborn, the feeling of strategizing unconsciously made her feel as if she was a cut above other people.
其实在司御第一次来王府给她看病的时候，叶知画就看出来这个司御医是个心软的人，而且似乎对自己很有好感。
In fact, the first time Physician Si came to the wangfu to treat her illness, Ye Zhi Hua saw that Imperial Physician Si was a soft-hearted person and seemed to have a favourable impression towards her.
如果能利用这份好感……
If she can take advantage of his feelings…
不得不说叶知画的确也有些小聪明，重来一生的她，很懂得利用自己的任何资源和优势。
It has to be said that Ye Zhi Hua indeed was somewhat clever with her petty tricks. The reborn her understood very well how to fully utilise her own natural resources and position.
可惜，现在的她明显用错了时间。
Unfortunately, right now, she used it at the wrong time.
听到叶知画的言语，司御的眼底一寒，脸上却带着一脸严肃的表情“王妃不想让郡主受苦，真是心地善良，可是……蝼蚁尚且偷生，郡主或许活的痛苦，但是再痛苦的活着，也总比死了的好吧？我是一位医者，向来只知道治病救人，从不会放弃任何一个病患。”
Hearing what Ye Zhi Hua said, Physician Si’s eyes went cold, his face had a solemn expression: “Wangfei does not want Junzhu to suffer. Truly kind-hearted but,….even ants want to live. Junzhu may be living in pain but isn’t living in pain better than to be dead? I am a medical practitioner who has always only known how to cure illnesses and never to give up on any patient.”
听到司御的话，叶知画愣了片刻，这才有些尴尬的转过自己的视线：“司御医说的有道理，我也只是……只是太过心疼郡主了而已。”
Hearing Physician Si’s words, Ye Zhi Hua was dumbfounded. She shifted her slightly awkward gaze: “Imperial Physician Si’s words are reasonable. I was just too….just too distressed for the Junzhu. Nothing more.”
她表演的越是情真意切，司御的目光就越是冰寒——
The more she acted as if she was genuinely concerned, the more Physician Si’s gaze turned ice cold.
什么是善良？
What is kind-heartedness?
什么又是恶毒？
And what is maliciousness?
司御想起那天苏晚说的话，她从不把自己的痛恨埋藏在心里，就算有什么恶毒的想法，她也从来是直言不讳。
Physician Si thought of the words Su Wan spoke that day. She never hid her bitter thoughts in her heart. Even if she had vicious thoughts, she has always spoken without reservation.
人非圣贤，哪个人没有自己的私心和欲望？
People are not sages. Who didn’t have selfish thoughts and desires?
其实，司御也有自己不能说出口的自私的心思，只是那心思一直被他掩饰的很好，无人发觉而已……
In fact, Physician Si also had unspeakable selfish thoughts. It’s just that he covered up those thoughts very well. No one has discovered it, nothing more…..
