Krumbumbum’s eyelid twitched. “Just. Watch me. And do what I do.”
Green Garey watched with his singular eye as Krumbumbum stood there, staring bloodshotedly at absolutely nothing.
“Ehrm, what am aye supposed to be doarrging arrrgain?”
“Visualize yourself mounting the ship.”
“Avast ye?”
“Picture climbing on top of the ship. And mounting it.”
“Yaaarg!” Green Garey squinted, looking up at their quarry. “The entire ship?!”
“No, just half the ship.”
“Aye, matey. Tharrrgt makes sense.”
“What? I was being sarcastic! How could we mount half the ship?! That doesn’t make any sense!”
“Krumbumbum!” Broderica screeched, backhanding her in the face with a sweaty palm. “What were you doing staring at my tits like that?!”
Krumbumbum blinked in confusion. “Broderica I thought you were over on the other ship!”
“I was until I saw you looking off into the distance at my titties like you wanted to mount them or something. It was clucking disgrossting.”
“She’s right,” Pamela, who was now standing beside Broderica, added as she scrawled ferociously in her notebook. “I had to move really fast to catch the scene from all angles so that I could jot it down in my notes. Wanna see?”
Before anyone could answer, Pamela forced her notebook into Krumbumbum, Brodericam, and Green Garey’s confused faces.
Krumbumbum dry heaved.
“Now what the in the clucking hen is this?!” Broderica’s eyes grew wide and lips grew aghast as she let out a hoarse wail. “Why have you drawn Green Garey penetrating both of us?!”
Green Garey gulped as he continued to fail to look away from the surprisingly detailed and anatomically accurate drawings.
“It’s a new technique I picked up recently.”
“Where at, a clucking brothel?!” snorted Broderica.
“I can remember eighty five percent more details with this method than with mere nude sketches. This specific skyrate case has kind of become my maiden voyage of the technique I call—sexamination.”
“Sexamination?” all three of Pamela’s captive audience repeated.
“Yes. Sexamination.”
“With a name like that you’d think you were actually having sex with people,” Broderica paused to burp, then rasped, “Not just drawing them.”
“Well the case isn’t closed yet.”
“Clucking hen!” Krumbumbum hissed, “Everybody shut the cluck up so we can hump ourselves up to the chicken.”
“Youu meann the shhhhip.”
“Shut the cluck up Biscuit Pisser!” Krumbumbum’s top fell off again, revealing that she was now wearing black nipple tape with little stars and moons printed upon it.
“Actually that reminds me,” Broderica interjected, “Why is there all that blood on the back of Biscuit Pisser’s head? Like somebody whacked him there with a sharp, steel object? Not that kind of steel object Pamela I can see what you’re drawing you’re completely misinterpreting me.”
“Shut up and hump, vitch!”
With that, Krumbumbum, Broderica, Green Garey and Pamela stood in a circle and hip thrusted with all their might. As they steadily jerked rhythmically into the air their legs tensed as blood rushed to their pelvises. The higher they humped the chillier grew the pielight air, thus preventing most uncomfortable sweating, though Pamela’s armor was starting to cause a bit of a comfort problem. It was not well designed for thrusting action.
“Stop clucking staring at my tits vitch!” Broderica hissed as she humped herself through the air.
“How can I not when they’re flopping around so ridiculously?!” spat Krumbumbum.
“Aye just hope we find the what we’re lookarrging foaarg on this tharrrd ship.”
“Cluck off Green Garey you’ve been staring at my tits too.”
“You know Broderica you haven’t said anything about Pamela staring at your tits and she’s been staring at least as much as everyone else.”
“But I’ve got to stare at them,” Pamela posited, “It’s for my notebook.”
“Of clucking course it is.”
Things were staring to get really hard. They were all keeping a hood rhythm, but it was seriously cold as high as they were in the air, and all the thrusting was starting to really hurt. And then, they saw it.
Their gyrations did not stop, but they did slow. As the clouds faded it became clear that the ship they were attempting to mount was much, much bigger than their eyes had previously led them to believe.
This discrepancy was due to the fact that what they had taken for the entire ship was but a ship-shaped vestibule of a much larger, indeed incredibly larger ship. Of course this ship too was all wood. But it was inmistakably what could easily be referred to as rich person wood. There were specific terms for this wood but all it said to indeed any of the circle humpers’ eyes was ‘This shit is worth an absolute anusload of chickensfeed for what appears to be no clucking reason.’ Its deck was decked out with multicolor magic incandescents. Magic LEDs would have probably looked a little better and been much more efficient, but magic incandescents were more expensive.
They had all heard of skyachts. Who hadn’t heard of a skyacht, truly? But hearing of a skyacht and making jokes about them was nothing compared to beholding a skyacht in person. Much less beholding a skyacht that you were indeed attempting to mount. It was, simply put, an enormous hunk of wood. The question each an every air humper held in their heads was simply, Who on Gurth would try and mount that much wood?
Yet on they humped. Pamela’s legs were chaffed and her notebook fingers felt arthritis-y. Krumbumbum’s nipple tape was peeling off. Green Garey had to keep adjusting his eye patch. And Broderica’s boob flasks had just tumbled out from her flopping cleavage and soared down to cock knew where. Their thrusting strained and beads of sweat broke against the flushed foreheads of the unlikely companions. They began moaning in delirious agony.
Their moans grew louder, longer and higher pitched, the deck of the vestible ship attached to the skyacht went from visible to below them. Louder still was their moaning, redder still were their foreheads, and now their cheeks were reddening as well. They all looked flushed, drained, eyes wide and pupils dilated in strain.
It would never end. It could never end. They all felt so weak, their legs palpating with sore thrashed of agony, their necks tensing, their fingers squeezing out for something to grab onto and hold as they pumped harder and harder into the air. Just when it felt like something was about to burst all over them in a dizzying release, Krumbumbum lightly farted, slightly killing the mood.
Slowly but surely they continued their gyrations, inching higher and higher into the sky. After some rather strong thrusts everyone’s ears popped, prompting them to look around. They had risen far above the highest skyacht sail. With an awkward judder they stopped their air humps and fell out of the sky, all screaming frantically.
PFFFSHHHHHHHHHH
Faces, palms and uncovered nipples pressed against the thick coarse canvas of the skyacht sail as they collided with it and slid down it as if it were a steep, rippling mountainside.
PPKCKKCKCSSSTTKFFFFFFT
They landed in a bruised heap atop the bright wooden dome that enclosed the skyacht’s top floor. Krumbumbum pulled herself out of the tangled mass of flesh and cast a couple spells to unbreak a couple of minor bones.
“Cluck’s sake,” whistled Green Garey. One of his gold teeth had fallen out.
Krumbumbum brushed herself off and taped her nipples with more magician themed nipple tape form her purse.
“What?” she hissed, noticing everyone staring. “Do you guys want some too or something?”
WSSSSSSSSS
Before anyone other than Krumbumbum could say whether they wanted magician themed nipple tape or not their eyes locked on the flaming pair of bright blue overalls soaring through the air.
SSSSSSSSSSS
“What are you all looking at?”
SSSSSSS PLPLPPPPFFFFF
“AAAAAH!” Krumbumbum screamed, falling over herself as the flaming overalls wrapped around her like a spider’s web that was on fire. “Get it off me get it off me!”
No one did anything but stare as Krumbumbum writhed and screeched and finally tossed the overalls off herself. They landed with a wrapping flop around the edge of the now lightly bloodstained sail, which promptly caught fire.
“What in the clucking hen is wrong with you, Krumbumbum,” Broderica sighed, popping the top off of a flask she’d produced from her crotch, “I can’t believe you clucking set the sail on fire. There goes our element of surprise. Now whoever the hen owns this shitshow of a skyacht is going to come up here and disembowel us and it’s all your fault.”
WSSSSSSSSSS WSSSSSSSSS
“Oh for cock’s sake!” sighed Krumbumbum, braiding her hair while noticing this time as two more pairs of flaming overalls flew towards them.
SSSS PLLLPPFF SSS PPLFPFFFFF
Neither of these overalls hit anyone, simply landing over the wooden dome and slowly losing their flames in unsatisfying sizzles.
“Whoever you are—” Broderica burped, “—your aim clucking sucks! Get your clucking shit together!”
WSSSSSSSSS PLLPPFFFF
“Were you—” burp “—trying to clucking hit me? Have you ever heard of hand eye coordination?”
WSSSSSSSSS PPLLLLFF
“Obviously the answer is no.”
As the last remnants of flame wizzed away from the failed projectiles, foreboding dark figures began to emerge from the thick pielight air above them.
“Oh hen no!” Krumbumbum shrieked, clutching her purse like it was full of sore testicles and scurrying away, only to immediately trip on a large pile of charred overalls, falling face foreward and sliding down the dome with a squeal as if the overalls were a tobogan.
The figures drew nearer. They were floating on rent-a-brooms and clad in hooded black robes. The one in front appeared to have giant, burly arms and legs that seemed almost inhuman. And Broderica thought she could see a blood red eye glint deep in a folding crevice of said figure’s billowing hood.
Krumbumbum’s eyelid twitched. “Just. Watch me. And do what I do.”
Green Garey watched with his singular eye as Krumbumbum stood there, staring bloodshotedly at absolutely nothing.
“Ehrm, what am aye supposed to be doarrging arrrgain?”
“Visualize yourself mounting the ship.”
“Avast ye?”
“Picture climbing on top of the ship. And mounting it.”
“Yaaarg!” Green Garey squinted, looking up at their quarry. “The entire ship?!”
“No, just half the ship.”
“Aye, matey. Tharrrgt makes sense.”
“What? I was being sarcastic! How could we mount half the ship?! That doesn’t make any sense!”
“Krumbumbum!” Broderica screeched, backhanding her in the face with a sweaty palm. “What were you doing staring at my tits like that?!”
Krumbumbum blinked in confusion. “Broderica I thought you were over on the other ship!”
“I was until I saw you looking off into the distance at my titties like you wanted to mount them or something. It was clucking disgrossting.”
“She’s right,” Pamela, who was now standing beside Broderica, added as she scrawled ferociously in her notebook. “I had to move really fast to catch the scene from all angles so that I could jot it down in my notes. Wanna see?”
Before anyone could answer, Pamela forced her notebook into Krumbumbum, Brodericam, and Green Garey’s confused faces.
Krumbumbum dry heaved.
“Now what the in the clucking hen is this?!” Broderica’s eyes grew wide and lips grew aghast as she let out a hoarse wail. “Why have you drawn Green Garey penetrating both of us?!”
Green Garey gulped as he continued to fail to look away from the surprisingly detailed and anatomically accurate drawings.
“It’s a new technique I picked up recently.”
“Where at, a clucking brothel?!” snorted Broderica.
“I can remember eighty five percent more details with this method than with mere nude sketches. This specific skyrate case has kind of become my maiden voyage of the technique I call—sexamination.”
“Sexamination?” all three of Pamela’s captive audience repeated.
“Yes. Sexamination.”
“With a name like that you’d think you were actually having sex with people,” Broderica paused to burp, then rasped, “Not just drawing them.”
“Well the case isn’t closed yet.”
“Clucking hen!” Krumbumbum hissed, “Everybody shut the cluck up so we can hump ourselves up to the chicken.”
“Youu meann the shhhhip.”
“Shut the cluck up Biscuit Pisser!” Krumbumbum’s top fell off again, revealing that she was now wearing black nipple tape with little stars and moons printed upon it.
“Actually that reminds me,” Broderica interjected, “Why is there all that blood on the back of Biscuit Pisser’s head? Like somebody whacked him there with a sharp, steel object? Not that kind of steel object Pamela I can see what you’re drawing you’re completely misinterpreting me.”
“Shut up and hump, vitch!”
With that, Krumbumbum, Broderica, Green Garey and Pamela stood in a circle and hip thrusted with all their might. As they steadily jerked rhythmically into the air their legs tensed as blood rushed to their pelvises. The higher they humped the chillier grew the pielight air, thus preventing most uncomfortable sweating, though Pamela’s armor was starting to cause a bit of a comfort problem. It was not well designed for thrusting action.
“Stop clucking staring at my tits vitch!” Broderica hissed as she humped herself through the air.
“How can I not when they’re flopping around so ridiculously?!” spat Krumbumbum.
“Aye just hope we find the what we’re lookarrging foaarg on this tharrrd ship.”
“Cluck off Green Garey you’ve been staring at my tits too.”
“You know Broderica you haven’t said anything about Pamela staring at your tits and she’s been staring at least as much as everyone else.”
“But I’ve got to stare at them,” Pamela posited, “It’s for my notebook.”
“Of clucking course it is.”
Things were staring to get really hard. They were all keeping a hood rhythm, but it was seriously cold as high as they were in the air, and all the thrusting was starting to really hurt. And then, they saw it.
Their gyrations did not stop, but they did slow. As the clouds faded it became clear that the ship they were attempting to mount was much, much bigger than their eyes had previously led them to believe.
This discrepancy was due to the fact that what they had taken for the entire ship was but a ship-shaped vestibule of a much larger, indeed incredibly larger ship. Of course this ship too was all wood. But it was inmistakably what could easily be referred to as rich person wood. There were specific terms for this wood but all it said to indeed any of the circle humpers’ eyes was ‘This shit is worth an absolute anusload of chickensfeed for what appears to be no clucking reason.’ Its deck was decked out with multicolor magic incandescents. Magic LEDs would have probably looked a little better and been much more efficient, but magic incandescents were more expensive.
They had all heard of skyachts. Who hadn’t heard of a skyacht, truly? But hearing of a skyacht and making jokes about them was nothing compared to beholding a skyacht in person. Much less beholding a skyacht that you were indeed attempting to mount. It was, simply put, an enormous hunk of wood. The question each an every air humper held in their heads was simply, Who on Gurth would try and mount that much wood?
Yet on they humped. Pamela’s legs were chaffed and her notebook fingers felt arthritis-y. Krumbumbum’s nipple tape was peeling off. Green Garey had to keep adjusting his eye patch. And Broderica’s boob flasks had just tumbled out from her flopping cleavage and soared down to cock knew where. Their thrusting strained and beads of sweat broke against the flushed foreheads of the unlikely companions. They began moaning in delirious agony.
Their moans grew louder, longer and higher pitched, the deck of the vestible ship attached to the skyacht went from visible to below them. Louder still was their moaning, redder still were their foreheads, and now their cheeks were reddening as well. They all looked flushed, drained, eyes wide and pupils dilated in strain.
It would never end. It could never end. They all felt so weak, their legs palpating with sore thrashed of agony, their necks tensing, their fingers squeezing out for something to grab onto and hold as they pumped harder and harder into the air. Just when it felt like something was about to burst all over them in a dizzying release, Krumbumbum lightly farted, slightly killing the mood.
Slowly but surely they continued their gyrations, inching higher and higher into the sky. After some rather strong thrusts everyone’s ears popped, prompting them to look around. They had risen far above the highest skyacht sail. With an awkward judder they stopped their air humps and fell out of the sky, all screaming frantically.
PFFFSHHHHHHHHHH
Faces, palms and uncovered nipples pressed against the thick coarse canvas of the skyacht sail as they collided with it and slid down it as if it were a steep, rippling mountainside.
PPKCKKCKCSSSTTKFFFFFFT
They landed in a bruised heap atop the bright wooden dome that enclosed the skyacht’s top floor. Krumbumbum pulled herself out of the tangled mass of flesh and cast a couple spells to unbreak a couple of minor bones.
“Cluck’s sake,” whistled Green Garey. One of his gold teeth had fallen out.
Krumbumbum brushed herself off and taped her nipples with more magician themed nipple tape form her purse.
“What?” she hissed, noticing everyone staring. “Do you guys want some too or something?”
WSSSSSSSSS
Before anyone other than Krumbumbum could say whether they wanted magician themed nipple tape or not their eyes locked on the flaming pair of bright blue overalls soaring through the air.
SSSSSSSSSSS
“What are you all looking at?”
SSSSSSS PLPLPPPPFFFFF
“AAAAAH!” Krumbumbum screamed, falling over herself as the flaming overalls wrapped around her like a spider’s web that was on fire. “Get it off me get it off me!”
No one did anything but stare as Krumbumbum writhed and screeched and finally tossed the overalls off herself. They landed with a wrapping flop around the edge of the now lightly bloodstained sail, which promptly caught fire.
“What in the clucking hen is wrong with you, Krumbumbum,” Broderica sighed, popping the top off of a flask she’d produced from her crotch, “I can’t believe you clucking set the sail on fire. There goes our element of surprise. Now whoever the hen owns this shitshow of a skyacht is going to come up here and disembowel us and it’s all your fault.”
WSSSSSSSSSS WSSSSSSSSS
“Oh for cock’s sake!” sighed Krumbumbum, braiding her hair while noticing this time as two more pairs of flaming overalls flew towards them.
SSSS PLLLPPFF SSS PPLFPFFFFF
Neither of these overalls hit anyone, simply landing over the wooden dome and slowly losing their flames in unsatisfying sizzles.
“Whoever you are—” Broderica burped, “—your aim clucking sucks! Get your clucking shit together!”
WSSSSSSSSS PLLPPFFFF
“Were you—” burp “—trying to clucking hit me? Have you ever heard of hand eye coordination?”
WSSSSSSSSS PPLLLLFF
“Obviously the answer is no.”
As the last remnants of flame wizzed away from the failed projectiles, foreboding dark figures began to emerge from the thick pielight air above them.
“Oh hen no!” Krumbumbum shrieked, clutching her purse like it was full of sore testicles and scurrying away, only to immediately trip on a large pile of charred overalls, falling face foreward and sliding down the dome with a squeal as if the overalls were a tobogan.
The figures drew nearer. They were floating on rent-a-brooms and clad in hooded black robes. The one in front appeared to have giant, burly arms and legs that seemed almost inhuman. And Broderica thought she could see a blood red eye glint deep in a folding crevice of said figure’s billowing hood.
