Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I wake up and the earth is exploding.
That’s what I was thinking, but the earth is not going to explode. No, it might someday, but certainly not now.
There is no point in assuming that I will wake up, since I didn’t sleep in the first place. If I’m going to talk about such things, I need to sleep first.
That’s why, that’s why.
I can’t wait to go to sleep.
But I can’t sleep.
Today has been a lousy day and I just want to sleep and forget everything.
I enjoy meeting with Maika.
But when Sendai-san is added to the mix, other feelings become greater than fun. I didn’t expect today to be a fun day, but it turned out to be even worse than I had imagined.
A day like this is best left to sleep and forget about it, but an hour or two later, I still can’t sleep. I’ve been lying in bed for a long while, but the sleepers are far away and my eyes are bright.
「…This is Sendai-san’s fault.」
I stare at the nightlight that dimly illuminates the room and sigh loudly.
Frustrating.
Very, and earnestly frustrating.
I shouldn’t have said that.
——I was jealous, why?
Sendai-san insisted that I say what I wanted to say, so a number of things popped into my head that I didn’t have to think about, and I had to say what I didn’t have to say. I think I sounded as if I had a deeper meaning because I got the vibe that I was reluctant to say it. I wasn’t lying when I said I was jealous, but I didn’t want to add more than words of meaning to that.
Anyone can be jealous.
The word doesn’t mean much.
It’s not worth overreacting to.
I only mention it because it’s not surprising that my roommate would be jealous and it’s not something I’d want to keep hidden.
It wasn’t anything special.
And yet, because I said it at a strange time, it sounded like I was exaggerating something trivial, something anyone would do.
All of it, all of it was Sendai-san’s fault.
She has been pestering me so much that my head is spinning and I can’t sleep.
I exhale a small breath and inhale slowly.
I take deep breaths as I lie on my bed and make an effort to let out all the extraneous thoughts in my head.
Jealousy is just a word that has the weight of an extension of a good or bad mood. It only bothers you because you care about it, and if you forget about it, it will become a meaningless thing in the past.
On the bed, where the orange light falls, I catch the stuffed animal that Sendai-san has taken the liberty of naming “Roro” and pat it on the head.
「Go into Sendai-san’s dream and erase her memory.」
I put the black cat by the wall and close my eyes, reminding myself that I asked for it.
I try to sleep, but I don’t. I don’t rely on the sleep demon, which I can’t see a shadow or a shape, but I just keep closing my eyes and try to sleep by keeping the darkness locked in my eyelids. Still, without opening my eyes, I waited and waited, and waited for time to pass.
After tens of minutes, I don’t know how many hours, I check my phone and see that not much time has passed. I closed my eyes again and looked at my phone after a while.
After repeating such a process many times, it was time to call it a morning without being able to sleep.
Opening the curtains, I see an uncluttered sky.
It’s so covered with clouds that I can’t see blue.
I sigh at the gray sky and lie down.
I try to kill time on the bed, but there is nothing to do. I had no choice but to raise myself up and gently open the door to see the common space.
No one’s here.
I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face.
I go back to my room and change my clothes, then go to the common area again.
Sendai-san is not here.
I don’t know when she will wake up, but I can’t see her. I open the refrigerator, wondering if I should make breakfast for her as well. I heard a small click and turned around to see Sendai-san standing in front of the room.
「…Good morning.」
After calling out, neither loudly nor quietly, I closed the refrigerator.
「Ah, yeah. Good morning.」
A crisp greeting is returned.
「Do you want breakfast?」
「Nhn— I don’t think I need it.」
「Why? You always eat breakfast.」
「Well, that’s true, but…」
Sendai-san laughs vaguely as she stands in front of the room. Normally she would come up to me on her own without calling me, but today she doesn’t come up to me.
Apparently, Roro didn’t do the job I asked her to do.
「Are you sick?」
She has sleepy eyes, but her complexion is not bad. She is dressed in a large pullover and skirt, rather than the sweatshirt she wears instead of pajamas. Still, I asked her in passing, and she replied,「It’s not bad.」But Sendai-san doesn’t move from in front of the room. I decide to move instead, and leave the refrigerator.
「Miyagi. Where are you going?」
Before going to the front door, I am approached.
「A walk.」
「A walk? Without a coat?」
「Is it bad?」
「What about breakfast?」
「Sendai-san, you won’t eat, will you?」
「I won’t eat, but why are you not, Miyagi?」
「I don’t need it.」
I don’t enjoy eating alone. I don’t want to go for a walk, but I don’t want to stay here with the distant Sendai-san.
「It looks like it’s going to rain, though.」
「I don’t mind if it falls.」
I know this without being told, because the window I saw in my room was covered with gray clouds.
「You’ll catch a cold. If you’re going to go for a walk, why don’t you do it on a nicer day?」
「I’m not like Sendai-san, I won’t catch cold.」
However, I think it would be better to wear a coat.
Even though it’s almost March, it’s not warm enough.
「…I’ll bring my coat, just in case.」
As I was about to return to my room after saying a few words for a walk I didn’t really want to take, my eyes met those of Sendai-san.
「Miyagi.」
I hear a small voice and Sendai-san takes a step closer to me.
But her footsteps soon stop.
Today Sendai-san is more languid than the sky, which shows no blue.
She’s not interesting like this.
I get close enough to Sendai-san to reach out my hand and look at her neck.
The mark I made yesterday remains clearly in the corner of my eye
It was really, frustrating.
I think I would have liked to have kept it hidden today.
When I look at it, it reminds me of myself yesterday.
「I can see it, is that okay?」
Without saying what, I touch the mark I made yesterday.
「It’s fine. I only have those of Miyagi.」
「You’re not going anywhere today?」
「Are you really going to go for a walk, Miyagi?」
The question was answered with a question, and I kicked Sendai-san’s leg. Then, looking away from the clear mark, I heard a voice as I was about to open the door to my room.
「I’ll go with you, I’ll bring my coat.」
「Even though it’s going to rain?」
I don’t want to go with Sendai-san, who doesn’t approach me herself to see what I don’t like.
「I’ll bring an umbrella.」
「Your neck, don’t you have to cover it up?」
「If Miyagi wants me to hide it, I’ll hide it.」
「What if I told you not to hide it?」
「I’m going to keep it as it is.」
Sendai-san lies all the time.
She would never accept my words,「Don’t hide it.」She must have changed into turtleneck clothes while fetching her coat, so the mark I made must’ve been out of sight when she came out of her room.
I would like her to hide the mark today but if she tell me not to hide it and she hide it, that would make me angry.
I stand in front of Sendai-san, not in my room.
I trace the mark with my fingertips and bites down on her neck.
Bury my teeth into the neck hard and firmly enough to leave an indelible mark for the rest of her life. The sweet smell of her well-groomed hair. It should smell the same as mine, but it feels different.
I grab Sendai-san’s clothes and pulls her closer.
I grit my teeth hard against the soft flesh with the intention of ripping the skin to keep up with the sweet scent that has become stronger.
I usually bite her so hard that she says it hurts, but Sendai-san doesn’t say anything. Instead, her fingers are digging into my arm.
I stepped on Sendai-san’s foot and removed my lips from her neck.
「If it hurts, just say it hurts… What’s up with you, today?」
「Not that there’s anything to be said for it.」
「If there’s nothing going on, just act normal.」
「…I’m acting just normal.」
「You didn’t. Something’s wrong… You’re acting like I said something great at yesterday.」
Seeing Sendai-san in a different light, I suspect that she took my words, which she didn’t have to say, more seriously than necessary and added a deeper meaning to them.
「Eh, because…」
「Today, as well, you say, “Eh?” I didn’t say anything serious, just act normal. It’s annoying when you act weird.」
「Sorry. What should I do?」
「I’m not going for a walk, so make me meal. I don’t want to cook today.」
「Okay.」
「Then we’ll eat together, and then you can do whatever you want.」
As always.
If I can just go about my day the same way as usual, that’s all that matters. If I do that, yesterday will be nothing. From now on, if I am ever jealous of Maika or of any of her tutoring students, I will not tell Sendai-san about it.
「Like what? Like go out together or something?」
「If only Sendai-san can go.」
「You’re not going anywhere, Miyagi?」
「I won’t go. I’m also not going to see a movie with you, Sendai-san. I’ll be alone in my room today. Please don’t come in, Sendai-san.」
I’ll nail her before she gets carried away.
「What about breakfast, lunch and dinner?」
「We’ll eat together」
「Okay—— what about a kiss?」
「You don’t have to.」
「Miyagi wants me to be normal, right?」
「Yes, but…」
Indeed, kissing is no longer uncommon.
But when did kissing become normal?
I don’t know.
When I realized it, this had become something normal to do.
「Miyagi.」
As if interrupting my thoughts, Sendai-san’s fingertips touch my lips. Then, before I could close my eyes, she closed my lips.
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I wake up and the earth is exploding.
That’s what I was thinking, but the earth is not going to explode. No, it might someday, but certainly not now.
There is no point in assuming that I will wake up, since I didn’t sleep in the first place. If I’m going to talk about such things, I need to sleep first.
That’s why, that’s why.
I can’t wait to go to sleep.
But I can’t sleep.
Today has been a lousy day and I just want to sleep and forget everything.
I enjoy meeting with Maika.
But when Sendai-san is added to the mix, other feelings become greater than fun. I didn’t expect today to be a fun day, but it turned out to be even worse than I had imagined.
A day like this is best left to sleep and forget about it, but an hour or two later, I still can’t sleep. I’ve been lying in bed for a long while, but the sleepers are far away and my eyes are bright.
「…This is Sendai-san’s fault.」
I stare at the nightlight that dimly illuminates the room and sigh loudly.
Frustrating.
Very, and earnestly frustrating.
I shouldn’t have said that.
——I was jealous, why?
Sendai-san insisted that I say what I wanted to say, so a number of things popped into my head that I didn’t have to think about, and I had to say what I didn’t have to say. I think I sounded as if I had a deeper meaning because I got the vibe that I was reluctant to say it. I wasn’t lying when I said I was jealous, but I didn’t want to add more than words of meaning to that.
Anyone can be jealous.
The word doesn’t mean much.
It’s not worth overreacting to.
I only mention it because it’s not surprising that my roommate would be jealous and it’s not something I’d want to keep hidden.
It wasn’t anything special.
And yet, because I said it at a strange time, it sounded like I was exaggerating something trivial, something anyone would do.
All of it, all of it was Sendai-san’s fault.
She has been pestering me so much that my head is spinning and I can’t sleep.
I exhale a small breath and inhale slowly.
I take deep breaths as I lie on my bed and make an effort to let out all the extraneous thoughts in my head.
Jealousy is just a word that has the weight of an extension of a good or bad mood. It only bothers you because you care about it, and if you forget about it, it will become a meaningless thing in the past.
On the bed, where the orange light falls, I catch the stuffed animal that Sendai-san has taken the liberty of naming “Roro” and pat it on the head.
「Go into Sendai-san’s dream and erase her memory.」
I put the black cat by the wall and close my eyes, reminding myself that I asked for it.
I try to sleep, but I don’t. I don’t rely on the sleep demon, which I can’t see a shadow or a shape, but I just keep closing my eyes and try to sleep by keeping the darkness locked in my eyelids. Still, without opening my eyes, I waited and waited, and waited for time to pass.
After tens of minutes, I don’t know how many hours, I check my phone and see that not much time has passed. I closed my eyes again and looked at my phone after a while.
After repeating such a process many times, it was time to call it a morning without being able to sleep.
Opening the curtains, I see an uncluttered sky.
It’s so covered with clouds that I can’t see blue.
I sigh at the gray sky and lie down.
I try to kill time on the bed, but there is nothing to do. I had no choice but to raise myself up and gently open the door to see the common space.
No one’s here.
I go to the bathroom, brush my teeth and wash my face.
I go back to my room and change my clothes, then go to the common area again.
Sendai-san is not here.
I don’t know when she will wake up, but I can’t see her. I open the refrigerator, wondering if I should make breakfast for her as well. I heard a small click and turned around to see Sendai-san standing in front of the room.
「…Good morning.」
After calling out, neither loudly nor quietly, I closed the refrigerator.
「Ah, yeah. Good morning.」
A crisp greeting is returned.
「Do you want breakfast?」
「Nhn— I don’t think I need it.」
「Why? You always eat breakfast.」
「Well, that’s true, but…」
Sendai-san laughs vaguely as she stands in front of the room. Normally she would come up to me on her own without calling me, but today she doesn’t come up to me.
Apparently, Roro didn’t do the job I asked her to do.
「Are you sick?」
She has sleepy eyes, but her complexion is not bad. She is dressed in a large pullover and skirt, rather than the sweatshirt she wears instead of pajamas. Still, I asked her in passing, and she replied,「It’s not bad.」But Sendai-san doesn’t move from in front of the room. I decide to move instead, and leave the refrigerator.
「Miyagi. Where are you going?」
Before going to the front door, I am approached.
「A walk.」
「A walk? Without a coat?」
「Is it bad?」
「What about breakfast?」
「Sendai-san, you won’t eat, will you?」
「I won’t eat, but why are you not, Miyagi?」
「I don’t need it.」
I don’t enjoy eating alone. I don’t want to go for a walk, but I don’t want to stay here with the distant Sendai-san.
「It looks like it’s going to rain, though.」
「I don’t mind if it falls.」
I know this without being told, because the window I saw in my room was covered with gray clouds.
「You’ll catch a cold. If you’re going to go for a walk, why don’t you do it on a nicer day?」
「I’m not like Sendai-san, I won’t catch cold.」
However, I think it would be better to wear a coat.
Even though it’s almost March, it’s not warm enough.
「…I’ll bring my coat, just in case.」
As I was about to return to my room after saying a few words for a walk I didn’t really want to take, my eyes met those of Sendai-san.
「Miyagi.」
I hear a small voice and Sendai-san takes a step closer to me.
But her footsteps soon stop.
Today Sendai-san is more languid than the sky, which shows no blue.
She’s not interesting like this.
I get close enough to Sendai-san to reach out my hand and look at her neck.
The mark I made yesterday remains clearly in the corner of my eye
It was really, frustrating.
I think I would have liked to have kept it hidden today.
When I look at it, it reminds me of myself yesterday.
「I can see it, is that okay?」
Without saying what, I touch the mark I made yesterday.
「It’s fine. I only have those of Miyagi.」
「You’re not going anywhere today?」
「Are you really going to go for a walk, Miyagi?」
The question was answered with a question, and I kicked Sendai-san’s leg. Then, looking away from the clear mark, I heard a voice as I was about to open the door to my room.
「I’ll go with you, I’ll bring my coat.」
「Even though it’s going to rain?」
I don’t want to go with Sendai-san, who doesn’t approach me herself to see what I don’t like.
「I’ll bring an umbrella.」
「Your neck, don’t you have to cover it up?」
「If Miyagi wants me to hide it, I’ll hide it.」
「What if I told you not to hide it?」
「I’m going to keep it as it is.」
Sendai-san lies all the time.
She would never accept my words,「Don’t hide it.」She must have changed into turtleneck clothes while fetching her coat, so the mark I made must’ve been out of sight when she came out of her room.
I would like her to hide the mark today but if she tell me not to hide it and she hide it, that would make me angry.
I stand in front of Sendai-san, not in my room.
I trace the mark with my fingertips and bites down on her neck.
Bury my teeth into the neck hard and firmly enough to leave an indelible mark for the rest of her life. The sweet smell of her well-groomed hair. It should smell the same as mine, but it feels different.
I grab Sendai-san’s clothes and pulls her closer.
I grit my teeth hard against the soft flesh with the intention of ripping the skin to keep up with the sweet scent that has become stronger.
I usually bite her so hard that she says it hurts, but Sendai-san doesn’t say anything. Instead, her fingers are digging into my arm.
I stepped on Sendai-san’s foot and removed my lips from her neck.
「If it hurts, just say it hurts… What’s up with you, today?」
「Not that there’s anything to be said for it.」
「If there’s nothing going on, just act normal.」
「…I’m acting just normal.」
「You didn’t. Something’s wrong… You’re acting like I said something great at yesterday.」
Seeing Sendai-san in a different light, I suspect that she took my words, which she didn’t have to say, more seriously than necessary and added a deeper meaning to them.
「Eh, because…」
「Today, as well, you say, “Eh?” I didn’t say anything serious, just act normal. It’s annoying when you act weird.」
「Sorry. What should I do?」
「I’m not going for a walk, so make me meal. I don’t want to cook today.」
「Okay.」
「Then we’ll eat together, and then you can do whatever you want.」
As always.
If I can just go about my day the same way as usual, that’s all that matters. If I do that, yesterday will be nothing. From now on, if I am ever jealous of Maika or of any of her tutoring students, I will not tell Sendai-san about it.
「Like what? Like go out together or something?」
「If only Sendai-san can go.」
「You’re not going anywhere, Miyagi?」
「I won’t go. I’m also not going to see a movie with you, Sendai-san. I’ll be alone in my room today. Please don’t come in, Sendai-san.」
I’ll nail her before she gets carried away.
「What about breakfast, lunch and dinner?」
「We’ll eat together」
「Okay—— what about a kiss?」
「You don’t have to.」
「Miyagi wants me to be normal, right?」
「Yes, but…」
Indeed, kissing is no longer uncommon.
But when did kissing become normal?
I don’t know.
When I realized it, this had become something normal to do.
「Miyagi.」
As if interrupting my thoughts, Sendai-san’s fingertips touch my lips. Then, before I could close my eyes, she closed my lips.
