Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I don’t think I feel good about it.
But I can’t reply well or be friendly.
I don’t dislike Mio-san, but I can’t follow her groove and I don’t feel happy to see Sendai-san talking only with Mio-san.
I sigh in my heart while looking at Mio-san who is happily biting into the dorayaki.
「Shiori-chan, you should eat too.」
A bright voice comes from the other side of the room, and I reply,「Okay,」before picking up the dorayaki on the table. And I immediately regretted it.
If only I could have added one more word to my current reply.
It may not have made them feel better, but it could have brightened their mood.
I opened a bag of dorayaki, which seemed to contain custard cream instead of red bean paste, and took a bite.
Sweet and tasty.
It doesn’t have a dorayaki feel, though.
「Mio, isn’t this too sweet?」
Sendai-san’s voice echoed, and Mio-san said in a light tone,「Isn’t it like this? How about you, Shiori-chan?」and then she turns the conversation to me.
「I think it’s just right.」
「That’s that. Hazuki lost.」
「Miyagi, you should be on my side.」
「Shiori-chan is on my side. Right?」
「Eh, I mean, I’m not saying I’m on your side…」
What a way to continue.
I was worried because Mio-san ordered me to call her by her name and to stop using honorifics, and I was also worried about Sendai-san who talked only with Mio-san, so I couldn’t move my mouth well.
「Hazuki, be mature and admit defeat.」
「Well, by majority vote, I guess I lose.」
Sendai-san says in a light voice and bites into the dorayaki. Mio-san is drinking cider with satisfaction. The conversation never ends. They talk about things that happened during spring break, about college, and so on.
Sometimes Mio-san asks for my opinion, so I can’t just listen to their conversation.
I manage to open my mouth at the right time, but each time I do, I feel heavy.
I can’t reply well.
I can only think that I am making the vibe worse.
I feel like I am not wanted here.
No.
The one not needed here——
No, that’s an exaggeration.
At the very least, I wish Mio-san had arrived on time. If she had been on time and arrived another 30 minutes later, I would have been able to mark Sendai-san more closely.
The marks are like my medicines; the more there are, the calmer I was. If I could have felt like a calm sea, I could have handled the situation better than if I had felt blubbering and full of foam, and I would not have spent all this time with nothing but regret.
「Right, Shiori-chan. Let’s go out to a dinner together sometime.」
After finishing the dorayaki, Mio-san says in a cheerful voice while opening a bag of potato chips.
「Mio, what do you mean by that?」
Before I could ask back, for some reason Sendai-san asked back.
「Dinner is dinner, right? I’ll invite other friends and we can all eat together. How about it? Shiori-chan.」
「Others, you say… What are they like?」
I don’t intend to have dinner with them, but I feel like it would be a corner turn to suddenly refuse, so I kind of ask them what kind of friends are coming.
「Nhn, it’s what we call a “meet-and-greet” party, but are you interested? If you tell me what type of person you like, Shiori-chan, I’ll invite someone like that.」
「Mio. Don’t be so quick to invite people to places like that.」
「Eh, it’s fine. Shiori-chan, don’t you want a boyfriend?」
「I’m not much.」
I am not interested in having a boyfriend. I am more interested in Sendai-san. There is no way that Mio-san, who is said by Sendai-san to immediately invite people to such places, wouldn’t invite Sendai-san.
I held tightly to the blue skirt that Sendai-san had chosen.
Sendai-san is mine, but there are many things I don’t know. If Mio-san invites her to such a gathering and she had dinner with someone I don’t know, or she seems to be having a good time, but she doesn’t tell me about it and keeps quiet, I will end up not knowing.
Sendai-san rarely comes home late except for part-time work, but that doesn’t mean she never comes home late at all. So it is not surprising that such things happen.
「Not much, huh? You don’t have to agree with Hazuki here.」
I look at Sendai-san, not at Mio-san, who sounded disappointed.
「Sendai-san, don’t you go to those things?」
「Not that much.」
「You really don’t socialize well, Hazuki. Come over once in a while.」
Sendai’s simple answer was met with a sigh from Mio-san.
「Well, in my spare time, I guess.」
「I can’t rely on your free time, Hazuki. You don’t come when you’re free.」
「I’ve been pretty busy.」
「Make some free time.」
In response to the disgruntled voice, Sendai-san replies,「I’ll take good care of it.」
I don’t know how much of what I just heard is true. However, Sendai-san’s words that says she doesn’t go there much and Mio’s words that she really doesn’t socialize well seems to be a lie.
It is because both of them are different from the Sendai-san that I know.
「…Sendai-san, you used to go to those things with Ibaraki-san in high school, didn’t you?」
What I was thinking spills out of my mouth.
I have never seen Sendai-san meeting a boy, but I have seen her talking with Ibaraki-san in the classroom. So it can’t be wrong.
「Eh, did Hazuki have a good relationship in high school!?」
Mio’s surprised voice echoed in the room.
From her voice, I know that she was not lying when she said,「You really don’t go out socializing, Hazuki.」But I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to know that the two of them were close enough to remain friends even if they didn’t go to those places or socialize.
「I mean, it was a good relationship. There was no reason for me to say no.」
As I expected, Sendai-san does not deny her past.
「Does that mean I’m someone you can say no to?」
「Not that I’m saying that, but I’m busy.」
「Haah, I’ll do my best for Hazuki to have it as a top priority. I’ll overthrow it, okay? Like that Ibaraki did.」
I wish Mio-san was like Ibaraki-san to Sendai-san. The Sendai-san I see in my eyes now is close to the Sendai-san she was when she’s with me.
This Sendai-san is not that Sendai-san.
When she was with people other than me, she would have been so good-natured and kind that she could be called a beauty in all directions. And yet, Sendai-san who is with Mio-san seems to say what she thinks in her own way, although she doesn’t say as much as she does when she is with me.
I don’t want to see Sendai-san like this.
「Don’t worry, Mio’s priorities are high there.」
My Sendai-san says something that I don’t really want to hear and chuckles.
Sendai-san should not make priorities.
She is mine, and I don’t think she should make a gap to let someone other than me in.
「It’s pretty bad there, though.」
「It’s alright. Don’t worry, it’s not too bad.」
「I see. Then, let’s go out to eat after all. Shiori-chan, it’s okay with you too, right?」
Mio-san, who was happily joking around with Sendai-san, smiles at me.
「Mio. I told you, she doesn’t need to meet someone she don’t want to meet.」
Before I can answer, Sendai-san answers.
I think she is just taking words out of my mouth today.
I don’t actively want to talk with Mio-san, but it’s not interesting that Sendai-san interrupts Mio-san for something and tries to talk with her alone. I feel like complaining, even though Sendai-san interrupts me and saves me from having to answer the difficult questions. To be clear, I don’t want her and Mio-san to talk alone.
I know what this feeling is.
——Jealousy.
It seems that once I am aware of an emotion, I cannot keep a weight on it. Even if I try to keep them at the bottom of my heart, they float around and let me know how I am feeling. Even now, I don’t want to realize it, but it makes me realize that I am being controlled by trivial emotions.
「It’s just the three of us, so we’ll be fine. Shiori-chan, it’s okay if it’s just the three of us, right?」
Mio-san’s voice is directed at me.
「Yeah.」
A short answer.
Then I imagine the three of us going out for dinner, and I’m frustrated. It’s frustrating to imagine Sendai-san and Mio-san talking happily.
Frustrating.
It was frustrating.
I am jealous of Mio-san who is happily chatting with my Sendai-san now and in the future. I am frustrated with myself like that.
But I have no place to take these feelings.
I can only look at the word jealousy floating in my mind, and it is painful. I want to get rid of this feeling somewhere. I wish I could spit them out like a cat spits out a hairball, then go back to my room and wrap myself up in my comforter.
If I can’t do that, I want to shove the stuffed penguin into Mio-san’s mouth and seal it.
I look at Sendai-san’s blue earrings.
Her ears are not enough.
The red mark that I put on before Mio-san came is not enough either.
I should have put more on.
I should have put them in places where Mio-san could see them.
Those reddish places is my camp, and it is not for her. If I had carried out such a stupid and ridiculous idea, I wouldn’t have felt so lousy about wanting to shove stuffed animals into people’s mouths.
「You know, Shiori-chan…」
Mio-san called me to expel the nonsense that was filling my head. But I have no idea what they were talking about. I didn’t hear what they were talking about.
「Do you tend to wrinkle your eyebrows?」
「Eh?」
Unintentionally, she presses her brow with her fingertips.
I wasn’t aware of it at all, but it might have been wrinkled because I was thinking about something not so good. If so, I must have looked grumpy, and that is indeed bad for Mio-san.
「Now here’s a wrinkled, difficult look on your face.」
Mio pinches her own eyebrows and smirks.
「Ah, sorry. I was just thinking about what to make for dinner.」
I smile as if to mend the situation.
「I see. Since I’m here, why don’t the three of us eat together? For dinner.」
Regret will not bring back time.
Yet I could not help but regret what I had said.
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
I don’t think I feel good about it.
But I can’t reply well or be friendly.
I don’t dislike Mio-san, but I can’t follow her groove and I don’t feel happy to see Sendai-san talking only with Mio-san.
I sigh in my heart while looking at Mio-san who is happily biting into the dorayaki.
「Shiori-chan, you should eat too.」
A bright voice comes from the other side of the room, and I reply,「Okay,」before picking up the dorayaki on the table. And I immediately regretted it.
If only I could have added one more word to my current reply.
It may not have made them feel better, but it could have brightened their mood.
I opened a bag of dorayaki, which seemed to contain custard cream instead of red bean paste, and took a bite.
Sweet and tasty.
It doesn’t have a dorayaki feel, though.
「Mio, isn’t this too sweet?」
Sendai-san’s voice echoed, and Mio-san said in a light tone,「Isn’t it like this? How about you, Shiori-chan?」and then she turns the conversation to me.
「I think it’s just right.」
「That’s that. Hazuki lost.」
「Miyagi, you should be on my side.」
「Shiori-chan is on my side. Right?」
「Eh, I mean, I’m not saying I’m on your side…」
What a way to continue.
I was worried because Mio-san ordered me to call her by her name and to stop using honorifics, and I was also worried about Sendai-san who talked only with Mio-san, so I couldn’t move my mouth well.
「Hazuki, be mature and admit defeat.」
「Well, by majority vote, I guess I lose.」
Sendai-san says in a light voice and bites into the dorayaki. Mio-san is drinking cider with satisfaction. The conversation never ends. They talk about things that happened during spring break, about college, and so on.
Sometimes Mio-san asks for my opinion, so I can’t just listen to their conversation.
I manage to open my mouth at the right time, but each time I do, I feel heavy.
I can’t reply well.
I can only think that I am making the vibe worse.
I feel like I am not wanted here.
No.
The one not needed here——
No, that’s an exaggeration.
At the very least, I wish Mio-san had arrived on time. If she had been on time and arrived another 30 minutes later, I would have been able to mark Sendai-san more closely.
The marks are like my medicines; the more there are, the calmer I was. If I could have felt like a calm sea, I could have handled the situation better than if I had felt blubbering and full of foam, and I would not have spent all this time with nothing but regret.
「Right, Shiori-chan. Let’s go out to a dinner together sometime.」
After finishing the dorayaki, Mio-san says in a cheerful voice while opening a bag of potato chips.
「Mio, what do you mean by that?」
Before I could ask back, for some reason Sendai-san asked back.
「Dinner is dinner, right? I’ll invite other friends and we can all eat together. How about it? Shiori-chan.」
「Others, you say… What are they like?」
I don’t intend to have dinner with them, but I feel like it would be a corner turn to suddenly refuse, so I kind of ask them what kind of friends are coming.
「Nhn, it’s what we call a “meet-and-greet” party, but are you interested? If you tell me what type of person you like, Shiori-chan, I’ll invite someone like that.」
「Mio. Don’t be so quick to invite people to places like that.」
「Eh, it’s fine. Shiori-chan, don’t you want a boyfriend?」
「I’m not much.」
I am not interested in having a boyfriend. I am more interested in Sendai-san. There is no way that Mio-san, who is said by Sendai-san to immediately invite people to such places, wouldn’t invite Sendai-san.
I held tightly to the blue skirt that Sendai-san had chosen.
Sendai-san is mine, but there are many things I don’t know. If Mio-san invites her to such a gathering and she had dinner with someone I don’t know, or she seems to be having a good time, but she doesn’t tell me about it and keeps quiet, I will end up not knowing.
Sendai-san rarely comes home late except for part-time work, but that doesn’t mean she never comes home late at all. So it is not surprising that such things happen.
「Not much, huh? You don’t have to agree with Hazuki here.」
I look at Sendai-san, not at Mio-san, who sounded disappointed.
「Sendai-san, don’t you go to those things?」
「Not that much.」
「You really don’t socialize well, Hazuki. Come over once in a while.」
Sendai’s simple answer was met with a sigh from Mio-san.
「Well, in my spare time, I guess.」
「I can’t rely on your free time, Hazuki. You don’t come when you’re free.」
「I’ve been pretty busy.」
「Make some free time.」
In response to the disgruntled voice, Sendai-san replies,「I’ll take good care of it.」
I don’t know how much of what I just heard is true. However, Sendai-san’s words that says she doesn’t go there much and Mio’s words that she really doesn’t socialize well seems to be a lie.
It is because both of them are different from the Sendai-san that I know.
「…Sendai-san, you used to go to those things with Ibaraki-san in high school, didn’t you?」
What I was thinking spills out of my mouth.
I have never seen Sendai-san meeting a boy, but I have seen her talking with Ibaraki-san in the classroom. So it can’t be wrong.
「Eh, did Hazuki have a good relationship in high school!?」
Mio’s surprised voice echoed in the room.
From her voice, I know that she was not lying when she said,「You really don’t go out socializing, Hazuki.」But I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to know that the two of them were close enough to remain friends even if they didn’t go to those places or socialize.
「I mean, it was a good relationship. There was no reason for me to say no.」
As I expected, Sendai-san does not deny her past.
「Does that mean I’m someone you can say no to?」
「Not that I’m saying that, but I’m busy.」
「Haah, I’ll do my best for Hazuki to have it as a top priority. I’ll overthrow it, okay? Like that Ibaraki did.」
I wish Mio-san was like Ibaraki-san to Sendai-san. The Sendai-san I see in my eyes now is close to the Sendai-san she was when she’s with me.
This Sendai-san is not that Sendai-san.
When she was with people other than me, she would have been so good-natured and kind that she could be called a beauty in all directions. And yet, Sendai-san who is with Mio-san seems to say what she thinks in her own way, although she doesn’t say as much as she does when she is with me.
I don’t want to see Sendai-san like this.
「Don’t worry, Mio’s priorities are high there.」
My Sendai-san says something that I don’t really want to hear and chuckles.
Sendai-san should not make priorities.
She is mine, and I don’t think she should make a gap to let someone other than me in.
「It’s pretty bad there, though.」
「It’s alright. Don’t worry, it’s not too bad.」
「I see. Then, let’s go out to eat after all. Shiori-chan, it’s okay with you too, right?」
Mio-san, who was happily joking around with Sendai-san, smiles at me.
「Mio. I told you, she doesn’t need to meet someone she don’t want to meet.」
Before I can answer, Sendai-san answers.
I think she is just taking words out of my mouth today.
I don’t actively want to talk with Mio-san, but it’s not interesting that Sendai-san interrupts Mio-san for something and tries to talk with her alone. I feel like complaining, even though Sendai-san interrupts me and saves me from having to answer the difficult questions. To be clear, I don’t want her and Mio-san to talk alone.
I know what this feeling is.
——Jealousy.
It seems that once I am aware of an emotion, I cannot keep a weight on it. Even if I try to keep them at the bottom of my heart, they float around and let me know how I am feeling. Even now, I don’t want to realize it, but it makes me realize that I am being controlled by trivial emotions.
「It’s just the three of us, so we’ll be fine. Shiori-chan, it’s okay if it’s just the three of us, right?」
Mio-san’s voice is directed at me.
「Yeah.」
A short answer.
Then I imagine the three of us going out for dinner, and I’m frustrated. It’s frustrating to imagine Sendai-san and Mio-san talking happily.
Frustrating.
It was frustrating.
I am jealous of Mio-san who is happily chatting with my Sendai-san now and in the future. I am frustrated with myself like that.
But I have no place to take these feelings.
I can only look at the word jealousy floating in my mind, and it is painful. I want to get rid of this feeling somewhere. I wish I could spit them out like a cat spits out a hairball, then go back to my room and wrap myself up in my comforter.
If I can’t do that, I want to shove the stuffed penguin into Mio-san’s mouth and seal it.
I look at Sendai-san’s blue earrings.
Her ears are not enough.
The red mark that I put on before Mio-san came is not enough either.
I should have put more on.
I should have put them in places where Mio-san could see them.
Those reddish places is my camp, and it is not for her. If I had carried out such a stupid and ridiculous idea, I wouldn’t have felt so lousy about wanting to shove stuffed animals into people’s mouths.
「You know, Shiori-chan…」
Mio-san called me to expel the nonsense that was filling my head. But I have no idea what they were talking about. I didn’t hear what they were talking about.
「Do you tend to wrinkle your eyebrows?」
「Eh?」
Unintentionally, she presses her brow with her fingertips.
I wasn’t aware of it at all, but it might have been wrinkled because I was thinking about something not so good. If so, I must have looked grumpy, and that is indeed bad for Mio-san.
「Now here’s a wrinkled, difficult look on your face.」
Mio pinches her own eyebrows and smirks.
「Ah, sorry. I was just thinking about what to make for dinner.」
I smile as if to mend the situation.
「I see. Since I’m here, why don’t the three of us eat together? For dinner.」
Regret will not bring back time.
Yet I could not help but regret what I had said.
